FIFTY SHADES OF CROSSFIRE FAMILY CONNECTIONS
by Desktop Dragon
Summary: (ORIGINALLY UPLOADED 2014 AS 'WHAT IF? FIFTY SHADES OF CROSSFIRE' & NOMINATED FOR THE BEST CROSSOVER IN THE FAN FICTION AWARDS 2015) Ana does not return to Christian and goes to New York with Jack and meets another certain billionaire and this chance encounter sets in motion a chain of events and links between Christian, Ana and Gideon which none of them could ever have predicted.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR NOTE: This story was originally uploaded between August 2014 and January 2015 and it was nominated for the Fan Fiction Best Crossover Story in May 2015.**

**Since then this story has been given a complete overhaul, including a new title which (hopefully) adequately replaces the original quite lame one and also hopefully removes all typo's and errors I missed the first time around. The main story remains intact, and has not been vastly altered other than edited to (hopefully) improve the flow and some parts have been re-written, some parts have been removed completely and I've reworked some parts which I wasn't totally happy with and removed plot holes, errors and omissions. **

****Please note that the timeline in this story is slightly different to the official books and this story starts earlier in the year than in the official story where Ana met/left Christian in May.**

**I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey/Crossfire Series or its original characters.**

**FIFTY SHADES OF CROSSFIRE FAMILY CONNECTIONS**

CHAPTER 1

**(ANA)**

It is now day three. It is 7:30am on day three post Christian Grey… and I am feeling pretty good actually! I allowed myself to have a pity party after I left him and I made sure I did it properly. I cried all the way home and then I sat and cried all day and I even cried myself to sleep that night. However, when I woke up on Sunday morning I was all cried out and I had decided enough was enough. Not only because my eyes were so swollen from the deluge that had come from them or the fact my nose was so bunged up I could barely breathe and as a result I had woke up with a throbbing headache. No, the fact was I was done with crying and there and then I vowed that I would never, ever let myself be in that position again.

What the hell was I thinking? I have never let any man treat me like that. After my experiences with my mom's husband number three I had vowed that no man was going to treat me like an object, but then that is exactly what I did with Christian and for the life of me I cannot understand why. Why on earth did I let him get under my skin so quickly and so easily? He raised every possible red flag there was. He had too many deep seated issues for me to conquer. God knows what had happened to him at some point in his life but he was clearly very damaged by something dreadful in his past.

Even though I know I have dodged a bullet and I know I should forget about him and get on with my life, my heart still lurches a little when I think about Christian Grey. He really is so vulnerable underneath that harsh, aloof almost arrogant exterior he projects to the world and as a result of that he is also so easy to love, but if only he would accept it. I really hope he manages to find happiness and some kind of inner peace one day; but sadly, it won't be with me. I can't and won't be what he needs.

I leave my apartment and lock the door and as I step outside I look upward towards the grey and gloomy sky, it looks like it's going to rain… just for a change! I put that depressing thought out of my mind. I pause as I look at the three envelopes in my hand before I quickly push one of them into my purse. The first one is the cheque Christian gave me for Wanda. I will pay that into my bank account at lunchtime and then I can go car shopping after work.

I saw a nice little used compact for sale at a garage nearby and for a fraction of the amount Christian gave me. Then I look at the other two envelopes. I had looked up the value of Wanda and inevitably discovered that Christian had obviously lied about what Taylor managed to get for her, by over $10,000. Yes, Wanda was undoubtedly a classic but she wasn't worth $24,000 and so I made a decision there and then; I am keeping what she _was_ worth and sending the rest back to Christian, but even doing that I will have savings for the first time in my life.

Therefore, the second envelope is the cheque for Christian and then the third… I smile as I look at it. That one is Taylor's handkerchief, which I have washed and I am returning to him. I glance across the road at the mail box and I look at the envelopes once more before I mail them. This is the right thing to do and I feel better now. I have done the right thing and cut all ties to Christian, so now I have no obligation to him and I can move on.

As I push the envelopes into the mailbox, I think about what I wrote in the small note I had enclosed with the cheque. It was short and to the point; but also I believe, polite and considerate. I visualise the note in my mind as the envelope disappears.

_Dear Christian,_

_Please find enclosed a cheque for $12,500 which is the overpayment for my car which Taylor sold. I looked online and found the real value for a car of Wanda's make, age and condition._

_I understand your motives for doing this were genuine and I thank you, but I don't feel right about keeping the money._

_Regards,_

_Ana_

I look at the second envelope containing Taylor's handkerchief and I smile, I have also enclosed a small note with this, with just the words '_thank you_' written on it as I don't think anything more needs to be said. That done, I head to the apartment private car park. I am more than thankful that Kate left me her car to use while she was on holiday so I can get to work at my new job as intern at SIP, as I wasn't overly keen on the idea of using public transport.

As I drive to work with music playing through the car stereo speakers, I start to feel a little bit nervous for my forthcoming first day at work. I try and push it aside and focus and I also start thinking through my plans for the immediate future. I tick off my accomplishments and goals in my mind, I have a job, I _will_ have a car of my own again, hopefully soon and best of all I am going Portland on Thursday to see Jose and see his exhibition. After that who knows?

That penultimate thought fills me with a happy thrill; it will be good to see Jose again. By the time I reach the office I am eager to get stuck in and face the new challenges ahead of me and put Christian Grey firmly behind me. A sudden thought occurs to me and when I get inside and quickly rummage in my bag and sigh with relief as I find what I am looking for. I take my own original and slightly battered but adequate cell phone from my purse and cancel the call divert which I had set up to the Blackberry which Christian had given me and which I had returned to him when I left. I let out a loud satisfied sigh as I do this, there all done and now to get on with my life.

After an interesting and fulfilling first day, I make my way home after stopping off for some groceries at the local supermarket. I am feeling totally drained after my busy first day I can barely keep my eyes open and so I decide to leave car shopping until the weekend. I reason that there is no real rush because I know that I have the unlimited use of Kate's car while she is away and I have paid the money into my bank account. I am making myself some tea when the intercom buzzes.

I quickly walk over and answer, "Hello" I say.

"Delivery for Anastasia Steele" a bored voice answers.

A delivery… what delivery? I wasn't expecting anything and I try and wrack my brains wondering what it could possibly be but come up blank, so I press the button and wait. Moments later there is a knock at the door, I quickly answer and take delivery of a very large and yet very light box.

When I open it I see a beautiful bouquet of white roses and a small card congratulating me on my new job. I roll my eyes when I see who it is from. It's from Christian of course and I sigh and shake my head, it was a nice gesture but he really shouldn't have done this. I toss the box and the card into the bin, but as I gather up the roses to throw them in as well I pause, and look at them and I realise that I don't have the heart to dump them because they really are just too beautiful. So against my better judgement I hunt for a vase for them before settling down with my dinner and watching some television.

After I have finished eating, I decide to call Jose.

"Hello" he says when he answers and as I hear his familiar voice it makes me smile.

"Hi Jose, how are you?" I ask brightly.

"Ana! It's good to hear from you, how are you? I'm good, you are still coming on Thursday aren't you?" He asks excitedly.

"I sure am" I reply, "What time does it start? I have to drive from Seattle and I am working now so won't be leaving until 5pm and it's about a 3 hour drive" I add with an apologetic tone.

"That's ok and it's no problem at all, as it is supposed to start at 7:30 so if you leave at 5pm you'll be here just after 8pm which will be absolutely fine and it will be good to see you again".

I smile at his laid back reaction and we chat for a few more minutes. He tells me of how he has been organising which photographs in his portfolio to display, and I tell him about Kate holidaying in Barbados and my new job. When he asks me if I like it I mention I'm not too keen on my new boss, Jack Hyde and that he makes me feel uncomfortable and that he sets off all my internal alarms, which I think alarms him slightly but I also make sure that I also emphasise that I love my job.

When I have finished talking to Jose I decide to call my dad, just to check in with him.

"Hello Annie, how are you?" he says to me and that familiar, kind, reassuring voice makes me smile.

"Hi I'm good. I just thought I'd call and see how you are; I have news, I have a job and I love it" I say brightly.

My call is pretty one sided as it always is with Ray as he doesn't talk much and I get the distinct impression at this moment he is watching the football or something.

"How's Christian?" my dad asks suddenly and out of the blue.

That throws me and I feel my heart lurch violently as Christian's name is mentioned. I stop and think for a moment and then I take a deep breath.

"I believe he's ok; I don't know for certain as we broke up as it just wasn't working out between us, so I called it quits" I say firmly, but also making it sound like it is no big deal.

There is a silence before Ray finally responds to that, "Oh I see, _you_ broke it off? He didn't hurt you did he?" he asks eventually.

I close my eyes and feel them start to fill with tears once more which I furiously blink away. It seems I am not as over him as I thought. I think about that question. Did he hurt me? Yes he did hurt me, but I am not going to tell my dad that.

"No, it just became obvious that it wasn't going to work between us, we are just too different and we wanted different things from life" I say simply.

There is another brief silence and then my dad speaks again.

"Well ok, if that's the case then that was the sensible thing to do as long as you are alright though Annie?" he says.

"I am" I state firmly as I wipe away the stray tears which have escaped from my eyes.

We talk a while longer and then after trying to watch some more television and failing miserably as my eyes keep shutting I decide to go for a shower, before heading off to bed.

**oooOOOooo**

By Wednesday I am into the routine of the office. I arrive, get my instructions from Jack and give him his coffee. Then as I fire up my computer and I look through the pile of manuscripts which Jack has dropped into my in tray for me to read and make notes on.

I am lost in my work when my email pings drawing my attention to a new message in my inbox. I glance at my watch and I realise with more than a little surprise that it's way past lunch time and my stomach grumbles as if to emphasise that fact. I look at the email and at first I think I am seeing things but when it becomes clear that I'm not my heart sinks as I see it is from Christian.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Tomorrow

**Date:** June 8 2011 14:05

**To:** Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Forgive this intrusion at work. I hope that it's going well. Did you get my flowers?

I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show and I'm sure you've not had time to purchase a car, and it's a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you – should you wish.

Let me know.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

I shake my head and sigh. Why is he doing this? I know it's only polite to reply, so I think carefully about what I want to say. I have the response worked out in my head when I hit reply I pause, and then start to type.

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject:** Tomorrow

**Date:** June 8 2011 14:25

**To:** Christian Grey

Dear Christian

Thank you for the flowers, I did receive them and they were lovely.

With regard to Jose's show, thank you for your kind offer. However, I have the use of Kate's car while she is in Barbados so I am able to drive myself to Portland tomorrow when I finish work.

Thank you once again.

Regards,

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP

I read through it before I hit send and then I delete Christian's email to me from my inbox. I quickly grab myself a bite to eat and then return my attention back to work.

The next day I am so excited about my trip to Portland. I haven't heard from Christian again and I am very relieved about that. The day flies by and soon it is time for me to leave and I am out of the office at 5pm sharp. I jump into Kate's car and take the interstate to Portland. I am so excited to see Jose again as I have really missed him.

Traffic is kind and I make good time arriving shortly after 8pm. When I arrive I am met by a tall woman with short blond hair and bright red lipstick. She smiles at me and talks to me as though she knows me which throws me a little but I quickly dismiss it. I walk into the first room and as I look around I am pleased to see it is quite full and busy, I scan the faces around the room searching for my friend and then I see him and I wave. Jose spots me and smiles widely and he immediately excuses himself and leaves the people he is talking to and comes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace.

"Ana, you're here! How are you? Thank you so much for coming," he says brightly and then he takes a step back from me and takes me in. As his eyes rake over me I get an odd sensation run through me and his close scrutiny unnerves me a little but I don't say anything.

"You look good" he says after a moment and I just smile politely.

He pulls me back into a warm embrace and I him hug back as despite my strange feelings of discomfort I really am pleased to see him and I quickly answer all his questions.

"Hi I'm fine and I am so proud of you," I say as I gesture around the room.

"Thank you that means a lot" he replies, "You made good time" he adds after he glances at his watch.

"I came in Kate's car tonight" I reply, but I don't mention that I don't have Wanda any more.

Jose lets out a small snort at that.

"Aah I see, yes Kate's car does go a bit faster than Wanda!" he says with a grin.

As I open my mouth to reply, Jose is called away to talk to the press and so I wander into another room where I immediately stop dead and my jaw just drops. I freeze as am confronted by huge photographs, of me. I gasp at them as I am not sure what to think of them. I am totally speechless and actually quite horrified and as I stand staring at them, I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"It seems that I'm not the only one who finds you intriguing Miss Steele," I spin around and am confronted by a pair of icy grey eyes. What the hell? I just stand there my mouth still hanging open and if anything it has dropped even further now and I just stand staring stupidly at him. When my brain finally catches up, I frown.

"What are you doing here?" I ask rudely as I glare at him.

Christian just stares impassively back at me, "you invited me Anastasia" he replies simply.

I let out a rude snort and shake my head, "That was before we broke up" I snap. I turn to walk away and he grabs my elbow.

"Anastasia please" he says, and I hear the distinct note of near desperation in his voice but I know that I need to stay strong.

I yank my arm out of his grasp. "No Christian, we broke up" I say sharply and I walk away.

My heart is beating furiously now and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. First of all seeing those massively intrusive close up photographs of me and then that encounter with Christian has set me on edge, not to mention made me realise I am not as over him as I thought.

I don't look back but I am certain I left him standing there watching me. I have to admit that I am also a little unnerved by his behaviour, as what he has done tonight could be considered stalking. I move into another room and look at more of the pictures Jose has taken and I start to calm down. I am very impressed, he has bags of talent and I am so proud that he has realised his dream.

"What do you think?" a voice whispers in my ear.

I turn and I am facing Jose grinning widely at me. He hands me a glass of fruit juice and I take it from him with a smile and a word of thanks.

"It's amazing, I am so proud of you" I say.

I pause and bite my lip as I remember the photographs of me and my expression makes his smile slip a little.

"What's wrong Ana?" he asks with obvious concern.

"A little warning of the photos of me would have been nice not to mention the common courtesy of asking me if you could use them" I add.

Jose's smile slips even further and he looks at me sheepishly.

"Oh shit I forgot about those. I'm sorry Ana please believe me when I say that I meant to call and ask you but I forgot and then it got to the point where I had to submit my paintings so I was going to tell you then, but hey guess what? Someone likes them as they have all been sold, you're a poster girl!"

My irritation of not being consulted about him displaying the photos of me flies from my mind when I hear this news and I gape at him. Why would anyone want to buy photographs of me? I shake my head in disbelief.

"Obviously someone with more money than sense" I say and as I say it Christian immediately pops into my head but I quickly dismiss the idea, after all we broke up. What would he want with pictures of me?

The evening is looking to be a huge success for Jose but after an hour or so I regretfully say my goodbyes, explaining I have to get back as I have work tomorrow. I look at my watch, if I leave now I should be back shortly after midnight.

Jose hugs me tightly and tells me to stay in touch and I promise him I will. As I go to climb into Kate's car I perceive someone behind me. I turn and I see Christian just standing a few feet away watching me. I thought he'd left hours ago but obviously not, but before he can say anything I quickly turn away and get into Kate's car without a word and drive away and as I do so the word 'stalker' pops into my mind once more.

The next day I am feeling the effects of my late night and I am dragging, I feel really tired and it was an effort to drag myself out of bed this morning. I try and put it to one side and I follow the same routine at work. I am really loving this job, but I am still on my guard with regard to Jack as he makes all my internal alarms go off and I know I don't want to get into a situation where I am alone with him. He reminds me so much of husband number three and I shiver at the memory of that awful man. I am drawn from my thoughts by Jack who pokes his head out of his office and calls out to me.

"Ana, go get me some lunch will you?" he says with a grin "My usual" he adds and then disappears again. I roll my eyes, lazy git! But I head out to the deli and grab his lunch and take it back to him.

A short while later I am feeling hungry so I decide to go for my own break and I run a few errands while I am out. After my break and I have completed my errands, I head back to work and finish up with the days work. As I am shutting down my computer and getting ready to go, I feel a hand on the back of my chair. I turn and see Jack standing there; I stiffen and instinctively move away from him.

"Ana, you have has a stellar first week, would you like to join us for a drink?" he asks and I feel my skin crawl again as his eyes rake over me.

"Us?" I ask warily. I was going to go straight home as I am tired but I would like to socialise with some of the other members of staff as I believe that I could cultivate some good friendships. But the idea of going out for a drink with Jack puts me off.

"Yes a few of are going to a bar round the corner, we often go there on a Friday evening" he says.

"Yeah, sure why not" I say. I figure that if there are a few more people there I'll feel safer than if I was alone with him and besides I don't have to stay long.

I am glad I went as the evening is good and I enjoy myself. When we get there the bar isn't too busy and I get to talk to more of the staff of SIP. They are all friendly and also very forthcoming, especially about Jack and a number of them make a point to take me to one side and warn me never to put myself in a position where I am alone with him. These warnings validate all the uncomfortable vibes I get from him and make me more confident in trusting my instincts about him.

I feel I could be friends with Clare, the receptionist. She too pulls me to one side and warns me about Jack and she also tells me some pretty disturbing stuff about him. She is quick to point out that it's all hearsay and rumour, but as she also said why do his assistants only ever last about a month at the most and none are ever retained by the company?

This just confirms everything everyone else has said and my own views. I knew there was something about him I didn't trust and now that I have been warned which has confirmed all my own instincts about him, I know to keep my distance and to keep myself safe by not allow myself to be alone with him. As I am talking to Clare, Jack himself appears and he comes to stand with us. He stands way too close to me and this makes me feel even more uncomfortable so I take a step back and push him away. He doesn't take the hint and drapes his arm around me and I remove it immediately.

"Please don't do that Jack," I say firmly.

"Oh come on Ana" he replies and he reaches for me again, so I step away from him.

I notice immediately that he is slurring his words slightly and is clearly well on the way to being totally drunk and he unnerves me, the next thing I realise is when he lunges towards me to kiss me but my self defence lessons with Ray immediately kick in and I block him and push him away.

"I said NO" I say firmly as he staggers backwards.

He looks shocked and a little bit pissed at my reaction "But Ana," he persists.

"The lady said no". I recognise that voice, look up and see Christian standing just a few feet away. Oh for god's sake, he really is stalking me.

His hands are balled into fists and anger is emanating from every pore. Jack turns and looks at him and he smirks, he is swaying slightly and he points his beer bottle at Christian.

"And who would you be asshole and why is it any of your business?" he slurs.

I immediately reach out and put my hand on Christian's arm as he balls his hands into fists and takes a menacing step forward.

"Jack, stop it!" I exclaim angrily.

I am really pissed off now not only at Christian for stalking me yet again but mainly for Jack who is behaving like a confrontational drunken asshole. I introduce the two men to each other hoping to defuse the potentially volatile situation.

"Jack, this is a _friend _of mine and his name is Christian" I say emphasising the word friend for Christian's benefit.

Then I turn towards Christian, "Christian, this is my boss, Jack" I stare meaningfully at Christian, pleading with my eyes for him not to do anything stupid or cause a scene which could cost me my job.

Christian stares back at me with that damned impassive look on his face and he seems to be working something out in his mind but eventually he simply holds out his hand to Jack. His eyes are as hard as flint and when he smiles it doesn't reach them. I can tell he is still burning with rage, but he is hiding it well. Jack assesses him and looks hard at him almost as if he knows him and is trying to figure out where from, then he reluctantly accepts the handshake. I watch carefully as the two men circle each other and it's like a pissing contest. I shake my head at the testosterone that is being exhibited and I take the opportunity as they face off to move away from both of them.

Clare is watching the unfolding situation with her mouth hanging open.

"You know _the_ Christian Grey?" she hisses in my ear. I can tell that she is clearly impressed by that fact.

I inwardly cringe and then nod, "yes we… dated for a short while, and after we broke up we remained friends". I know that isn't entirely true but sounds reasonable and a lot better than he has been following me around since we broke up.

"Wow" she says, "I didn't know he did date? You never see him in the press with dates, there are rumours he is gay" she whispers as she keeps her eyes firmly fixed on Christian.

I shake my head, "No he's not gay, but he is a very private person" I say.

Before I can say anything else my phone buzzes and see that I've received a text from Kate, my heart leaps and I open it and read it.

_**Hi hope you had a good first week at work, I'm coming home next week but Ethan is returning Tuesday. K x**_

I quickly send a reply,

_**Hi all good here, see you next week! A x**_

As I push my phone away I hear my name called.

"Ana".

I turn to look and see Christian approaching me. I shake my head holding up my hand to stop him coming any closer and I turn on my heel and leave the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

After a very productive weekend, it is once again the start of a new work week. I am now sporting a sleek shoulder length layered bob which I am really pleased with after getting my hair cut on Saturday morning. It was getting far too long, and I needed a change and the result is stunning. After that I went car shopping and managed to get a really nice little compact car and after test driving it I realise now just how old and crappy Wanda actually was, and I even reluctantly conceded that Christian may have had a point about her.

I arrive at work feeling positive and happy. Jack calls me into his office and gives me my instructions. I am a little concerned by something he has asked though. He has told me that he wants me to accompany him to New York for a literary exhibition and after what Clare and everyone else has told me, not to mention his behaviour on Friday I am now fully on my guard and red flags are waving wildly; but part of me realises that professionally speaking this would be a huge opportunity for me. However, I also realise I will be on my own with Jack, a situation I swore I would never put myself in.

I think over the pros and cons before deciding to go with it. I decide as long as I take all the necessary precautions I should be fine so I book the flight for us and the hotel, making sure my room there is two floors below Jacks room. I also make a mental note to call Ray and ask him for a self defence refresher before I go. Happy that I have done all I can, I settle down to work.

Just before lunchtime my phone rings and I pause from the notes I am writing on a very promising manuscript that has been sent in.

"Jack Hyde's office, Ana Steele speaking" I say automatically as I answer the call.

"Hello Anastasia," I freeze immediately focusing my attention on the phone and the familiar icy voice and my heart sinks. What the hell, seriously what part of we broke up does this man not understand?!

I quickly pull myself together and I sigh, "What do you want now Christian?" I snap and I cringe as that sounded sharper than I intended it to be but then I start to feel angry, why won't he give it up?

"Please don't call me at work" I add, how dare he invade my time at work, he is starting to get annoying with this stalking behaviour.

"You are not going to New York with that man, I won't allow it" he says coldly.

I feel my eyes widen and my mouth fall open at his arrogant audacity to think he actually has any say in what I do – who the hell does he think he is? I feel the fury explode inside me and I glare at the phone. Then I freeze as a question hits me - how the hell did he find out about that, is he really invading my life that much?

Those words tumble out of my mouth along with a few more, before I can get any sort of filter in place.

"Of all the arrogant… Just who the hell do you think you are? You don't own me, you don't get to tell me where I can go and where I can't and you certainly don't get a say in what I do in relation to my career. Will you get it through your thick skull that we are over, finished, no more, you do not get a say in my life so stop stalking me and leave. Me. Alone." I snarl.

I slam the phone down and grab my purse and storm out of the building, before he decides to call me again.

"Ana?" I hear Jack call me, but I am just too pissed. I need to get out.

I hold up my hand to stop him saying anything else, "I'm going to lunch" I snap back over my shoulder, without breaking my stride. I push open the doors and walk out on to the street; as soon as the air hits me I pause and take a deep breath. I am shaking I am so angry. What the hell is he playing at and why is he still stalking me, this is not normal behaviour and how does he think he has the right to do it?

I just walk around for a while and I slowly calm down, when my stomach grumbles loudly, I look around and see a small coffee shop and so I head towards it to get something to eat. As I am sitting eating some lunch and minding my own business, I happen to I look up and my stomach lurches and roils and I nearly bring back the sandwich I am eating I am so shocked. There standing in front of me is Jason Taylor, Christian's head of security. I freeze as our eyes meet and I immediately look around, totally expecting to see Christian standing somewhere nearby.

"Oh, for god's sake!" I say irritably, and I drop the remains of my sandwich on the plate in front of me, my appetite now gone.

Taylor smiles at me apologetically, "I'm sorry to disturb your lunch Miss Steele, but don't worry I am alone, Mr Grey isn't with me. May I sit down?" he says kindly, gesturing to the empty seat opposite me at my table.

I nod, immediately regretting my harsh words of a moment ago, I shouldn't have said that, and I watch as he sits down and I brace myself waiting to hear what he has to say. He watches me closely then taking a deep breath he leans towards me and clasps his hands together and begins to speak.

"Miss Steele, before I start to speak I need you to know Mr Grey doesn't know I'm here. If he did I probably wouldn't have a job anymore, but really needed to see you as a matter of importance. I came because I just need you to be aware of what kind of man you are working for before you decide whether or not to accompany him to New York..." I halt his sentence by holding up my hand.

I smile at him, I like Taylor he is a good man and he was kind to me when he drove me home. I can see he only has my best interests at heart, and it's not his fault he works for a crazy man.

"Taylor, thank you for your concern but I know exactly what kind of man Jack Hyde is, my internal self preservation alarms have been on high alert ever since I first met him and I have been warned and made aware of his past... erm... indiscretions, along with some quite disturbing rumours which surround him and his behaviour and attitude towards women".

Taylor nods, "We did a complete background check on him and from what we have found out about him, he appears to be a dangerous sexual predator Miss Steele, and I would really hate for you to get hurt" he says quietly.

I looks questioningly at him, "Why would you be doing background checks on my boss?" I ask mildly.

Taylor shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "Mr Grey asked us to" he says eventually.

I shake my head, I appreciate his concern but that is not normal behaviour. Then another thought occurs to me.

"Taylor can I ask you a question?" I ask, staring straight at him, he hesitates and then nods.

"Taylor, how did Christian even know about my trip to New York?" I stop and see Taylor shuffle uncomfortably in his seat again, he doesn't answer for a moment and then leans closer.

"Miss Steele as I have already said, I am risking my job by just being here. If Mr Grey ever discovered I had told you... well" I nod at him, realising what a difficult position I have just put him in by asking.

"Don't worry Taylor I won't breathe a word, but I think I have already guessed the answer to that one, he has bought SIP hasn't he, or he is in the process of buying it?"

He just looks at me knowingly but doesn't say a word, but he doesn't have to say anything, I just know.

I shake my head in despair. Damn that man, why won't he just leave me alone, now I will have to leave and move on, and I really like my job.

"Thank you Taylor, your silence speaks volumes," I say sadly and I stand to leave as I've heard enough and my appetite has now totally gone.

Taylor puts his hand out and touches my arm, "Miss Steele, please don't think badly of him, he is a good man. I admit what he is doing must appear quite alarming to you but he just has some strange ways and he really does care about you, everything he is doing comes from a good place and I have never seen him like this over a woman before, since you left him, he's been... a mess."

I sigh, "Taylor I am certain you know exactly what Christian's… predilections are and I can't be what he wants and needs but more importantly I won't be what he wants and needs. He has issues, deep seated ones which he needs to overcome before he can have any sort of relationship with anyone and I'm not the person to help him do it. I won't be treated the way he wants to treat me, I have more pride and self respect for that. I won't be owned and I am not someone's possession".

Taylor smiles and nods at me, "I can understand that Miss Steele" with that he also stands, then he hesitates, "thank you for returning my handkerchief, you didn't have to do that" he says as he goes to walk away.

I shrug, "I had to as it was the right thing to do, oh by the way, did Christian get the cheque I sent?" I ask.

Taylor nods and a small smile pulls at his lips, "He did and he was... very angry about it."

I smile widely at that, the idea of pissing Christian Grey off because I got one over on him giving me a little thrill.

"I bet he was, thank you Taylor and you take care of yourself" I say sincerely, as I really do like him.

Taylor nods, "You too Miss Steele," he says and then turns and leaves without another word.

I return to the office and continue getting things ready for the exhibition. I don't give Christian another thought, until late afternoon when my phone rings.

"Jack Hyde's office, Ana Steele speaking" I say.

"Ana please don't hang up, just listen to me," Christian's urgent voice comes to me and against my better judgement I don't immediately hang up. I realise he called me Ana rather than Anastasia which he always insisted on doing despite me telling him how much I despised the name.

"You have one minute, make it count because I will hang up on you," I say sharply.

"Thank you. I sincerely apologise for earlier, you are quite correct it is none of my business what you do. However, I cannot and will not in good conscience let you go to New York with Jack Hyde without attempting to warn you about what sort of man he is. I have done a number of checks on him and he has an alarming reputation and..." he stops as I butt in and silence him.

"Christian stop right there, I appreciate your concern I really do but as you say it really is none of your business. We are no longer together and even if we were, I wouldn't let you dictate to me situations regarding my career. I am fully aware of the sort of man Jack Hyde is, I have been warned by other employees of his reputation and I have no intention of allowing myself to be manipulated by him or letting myself be placed in a dangerous situation. So if that is all, I am really very busy and for what I hope is the final time, please don't call me again here" I hang up without another word but I am grateful for his concern, and I start to feel bad about the way I cut him off.

I think a moment and then quickly grab my cell phone and send him a quick text.

_**I really am grateful and appreciate your concern, thank you. Ana **_

I send it and get back to work, moments later my phone pings and I call up the response I have received from Christian. It is short and sweet.

_**You are welcome.**_

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting on the plane, waiting to leave to go to New York, I occupy my time by going through my notes once more ready for the exhibition. I have done everything possible to keep myself safe, I even made sure to book my seat on the plane well away from Jack. When I have finished sorting my notes I close my eyes and I also go through the self defence in my mind that I went through with Ray, I am still a little sore and stiff from that but glad I did it.

Ray was really concerned when I called him and told him why I wanted a refresher and outlined everyone's warnings about Jack but I think I allayed his fears and worries and I promised him I would call him once I arrived in New York and I would keep in touch periodically while I was here, to let him know I was ok.

My mind shifts to everything that has happened to me recently, my world was completely turned upside down by Christian and I was shocked I let him get to me as much as I did and as much as I try and fight and deny it I know that I am still in love with him but I also know I made the right choice. I am not a submissive and although I have admitted to myself that I still care about… love him, after all, he was my first. The first man I had ever had any inclination of giving myself sexually to, he was the first man I had ever had any strong intimate feelings for and it all happened so suddenly and there is just something about him which still pulls at my heart. Then I remember that it could never work between us as we are so fundamentally different and the bottom line is, I won't be treated like a possession and a plaything that is exactly how Christian saw me.

As we sit waiting to take off, I idly look out of the window and my heart lurches as I see a jet speeding down the runway and taking off into the air. Along the side of it are the words '_Grey Enterprise Holdings'_, seeing it makes Christian fill my mind once more. He must be on that plane, I wonder where he is going?

As I watch it disappear into the sky I whisper, "Stay safe Christian" then I close my eyes again.

It's a long flight and I doze, on and off throughout it. Eventually I am awakened by someone gently shaking me. I open my eyes and see Jack smiling down at me.

"Wakey, wakey sleepyhead, we are about to land" he says. I nod and fasten my seatbelt watching as he returns to his seat.

I smile at the woman next to me, "Is that your boyfriend?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, my boss we are in New York on business" I say.

It quite late and starting to get dark when we arrive at the hotel and check in. I go to my room and head into the shower to freshen up.

The first thing I did was call Ray, and he was pleased to hear from me but I could detect the hint of worry in his voice when he told me to have a good time. I am wishing now that I hadn't spoken so freely about my concerns about Jack to him, but it all came tumbling out when he was going through my self defence with me and asking me why I wanted to sharpen up on it.

I am pulled from my thoughts when there is a knock at my door. I freeze wondering what to do, I quickly go through the self defence moves in my mind and I grab my purse. I take a deep breath and head towards the door. I look through the peep hole and sure enough there stands Jack. I open the door and Jack turns towards me smiling widely. He looks me up and down with greedy eyes which immediately make me feel uncomfortable and makes my skin crawl.

"Hi, do you want to go and get something to eat?" he asks.

I shake my head and smile politely at him, "No thank you Jack, I am going to head out for a while and check out New York. I have never been here before, and I want to do a bit of sightseeing while I can, after all we won't have any time tomorrow to see much of the city."

As I go to walk past him, he reaches out and tries to grab my arm. "Ana I want to have dinner with you," he says with a dangerous note in his voice.

I yank my arm free and swing around to face him, "I'm not hungry, thank you Jack," I say firmly.

I walk towards the elevator and can hear Jack following me, so I quickly change direction and take the stairs instead. I glance up at the security cameras in the stairwell and smile. When I reach the lobby I feel safe and I take a moment to catch my breath. I must look a little flustered as a man in hotel uniform approaches me.

"Excuse me Miss are you alright?" he asks me kindly.

I smile at him, "Yes thank you, I decided to take the stairs to get a bit of exercise and I am sort of regretting it now," I say lightly, but my emotions must betray me when Jack appears in the lobby and glares at me. The hotel employee glances at Jack and then he looks at me questioningly.

"You are sure you are alright?" he asks meaningfully.

I nod and smile at him, "Yes I am, thank you now If you will excuse me," I say and I quickly leave the hotel.

Once outside I take in the sights of New York, and it takes my breath away. It is busy and noisy I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the rush of input to my senses. I walk towards Times Square and stand and stare at the buildings I take out my phone and snap a few photographs.

As I am exploring the city I see a beautiful building in front of me. It totally captivates me and I walk towards it. I am totally awestruck at its opulent splendour, as I stop in front of it and gaze upwards towards the sapphire spire the doors open and a tall man exits, colliding with me. I stumble backwards and he grabs my arm to steady me and stop me falling.

I look up at him and my breath catches as he is extraordinarily good looking, he has intense blue eyes and slightly overlong black hair sweeping the collar of a very expensive looking suit, and before I can stop myself I gasp.

He looks at me with such intensity it's as if his eyes are boring through me, I feel as though he can see through to my very soul then just as suddenly it's as if a shutter has come down and all that intensity is now trapped behind them.

"I'm sorry that was rude, I didn't mean to walk into you" he says in a deep cultured rasping voice as he lets go of me and takes a step backwards.

"That's ok" I mutter, "It was my fault, I was just admiring this building and I was completely blocking the exit" I add.

"You like it?" he asks and a small smile appears on his lips, as he gestures with his hand to the building.

I nod, "I do It's beautiful" I say.

"Thank you, it's good to know, people appreciate its beauty" he says with a distinct hint of pride.

I frown wondering what he means by that comment. My confusion must show on my face as he steps towards me once again this time he is holding out his hand.

"Gideon Cross" he says politely.

My brain quickly joins the dots and my mouth drops open. Holy shit, I am standing in front of _the_ Gideon Cross, I don't believe this.

"So this building… is the Crossfire... it's your building?" I stammer, pointing up at it.

He nods at me and smiles almost apologetically. I quickly pull myself together, and shake his hand which is still outstretched towards me.

"Ana Steele, I'm sorry this is my first time in New York, I am here with my boss for a literary exhibition and I am just taking some time out to explore and see the sights before we get down to work tomorrow," I say and I inwardly cringe as I realise I am rambling and over sharing, but Cross just stares at me, his eyebrows raising slightly at my words.

"Who do you work for?" he asks, and he appears to be genuinely interested.

"I am an intern, an assistant to Jack Hyde who is an editor for Seattle Independent Publishers" I reply.

"I see, Seattle? You are a long way from home, do you enjoy your job Miss Steele?" he asks.

I smile, it a genuine free smile and I nod enthusiastically, as I think about how I have my dream job.

"I do, I graduated recently, it's my first job and it's dream job" I say. "I love reading" I add lamely and I feel myself cringing again and blushing at my verbal diarrhoea.

I see the hint of a smile playing on Cross' lips once more, "Well it was delightful to meet you Miss Steele from Seattle" he says with clear amusement.

"Likewise, and I'm really sorry I got in your way," I say.

I watch as Cross climbs elegantly into a waiting car, a very smart and expensive Bentley and my eyes follow it as it pulls away.

I make my way back to the hotel in a bit of a daze. I am still slightly overawed at the fact I have just met _the_ Gideon Cross. I had applied for an intern position at one of his company's in Seattle, Cross Publishing (Washington) but I hadn't been successful.

I am still thinking about my encounter as I walk into the lobby, then I stop dead. Sitting at a table engrossed in whatever he is looking at on his laptop is Christian Grey. I swallow deeply, what the hell is he doing here? This is really taking stalking to a whole new level! I try and sneak past without him seeing me, but then another unwelcome voice directs his attention to me.

"There you are Ana, I thought you'd got lost" my heart sinks as I see Jack striding towards me.

I watch as Christian gracefully rises and walks over. Oh shit, what the hell am I going to do now? Jack looks up at Christian and scowls as he clearly recognises him even though the last time they had met he was practically shit faced.

"Hello Anastasia" Christian says coolly.

"Christian" I say, "What brings you to New York?" I ask stiffly.

"Business, would you like to join me for dinner?" he asks, staring at me with those impenetrable grey eyes.

I think of my options, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as I don't really want to spend time with either of them but I know that I need to get away from Jack. It also seems I need to reiterate to Christian that nothing is happening, nor is anything EVER going to happen between us. So I smile and accept Christian's offer.

I see a flash of triumph spreads across his face before the impassive mask slips firmly back in its place. He turns and gathers his belongings and then looks past me, I look to see what he is looking at and I see Taylor appear and he nods at me before he takes Christian's belongings. Christian holds out his arm to me which after a moment's hesitation I accept, and he walks me towards the restaurant.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I hiss as soon as we are out Jacks hearing.

"Keeping you safe" he replies coldly.

I stop and stare incredulously at him, "Are you for real? Am I hearing this right? You flew all the way here across a whole continent from Seattle just to keep Jack away from me?"

Christian shrugs nonchalantly but the look on his face tells me all I need to know and I sigh shaking my head in disbelief. Does he not see this is sort of behaviour is just plain weird?

I look up at him and I chose my words carefully. "Christian, let me be clear I am only agreeing to have dinner with you, nothing more. I will pay for myself and it means nothing. We are not together anymore, we are not getting back together and I am not in any relationship with you. Am I making myself clear on that? We are simply sharing a meal together as friends and nothing more, ok? I don't want you to get the wrong idea or think there is anything more to this than that and just for the record there was no need for you to fly to New York as I can take care of myself."

I feel him stiffen and he turns and stares at me. "Miss Steele let me make myself clear, we are sharing a dinner and I will be paying for it and we are going to discuss our future. I want you in my life and I want you more than I have ever wanted anything before. So you will sit and you will listen to what I have to say, and there was every need for me to fly out to New York". His hand touches my chin lifting my head slightly to look up at him and I catch sight of the vulnerability in his eyes which he always tries so hard to hide.

"Please give me this, just hear me out?" he asks gently.

I am shocked at the almost pleading tone in his voice, he even sounds vulnerable. I sigh deeply and all I can do is nod as I resign myself to what I am about to do. The look of relief on his face is huge, and he beams at me and then he grasps my hand and leads me into the restaurant and to a private alcove table away from the other diners.

I am sitting looking at the menu wondering what to order, as my appetite has suddenly diminished considerably. I feel Christian's eyes on me and all I want to do is escape to my room.

"Would you like me to order for you?" Christian asks me politely.

I look up at him, "No thank you, I am quite capable of choosing what I wish to eat" I snap. I immediately regret how sharp that sounded, "I'm sorry, that sounded better in my head" I say in a slightly softer tone.

I look at Christian and he smiles at me, but he looks nervous. The waiter comes over and we place our order and Christian orders the wine. As we wait for our food to be brought, Christian reaches over the table holding his hand out to me.

"Ana, I want to talk to you… about us," I immediately open my mouth to say something to try and argue that there is no us, but he raises his hand so I shut my mouth.

"Please hear me out, listen to what I have to say," he says.

I nod and I see him take a deep breath and lick his lips and it is then it occurs to me he is nervous, he is worried about what I am going to say.

"Anastasia, you said you loved me?" he says, I nod wondering where this is going.

"Do you still... love me?" he asks me tentatively, he looks so vulnerable and lost it nearly breaks my heart, and the word yes is desperate to fall out of my mouth but common sense prevails. I can't be what he wants, or needs so I know that I have to be cruel to be kind. I take a deep breath.

"Christian" I say and then I pause, I want to say this right I don't want to crush him but he needs to know nothing is going to happen between us. I look him straight in the eye as I continue.

"I will always think of you with deep affection… and yes… I do love you, you were my first. But I can't be what you want or what you need. I won't be treated the way you want to treat me because it just won't work. You are too controlling and I am a free spirit so we are totally incompatible. Please let it go, let me go" I touch his hand and I see him close his eyes as the familiar charge I always get when we touch shoots through me and I am guessing he feels it too.

"You will always have a special place in my heart as you were the first man I made love to, you were the first man I allowed to touch me. Yes I love you, but I can't allow myself to be in love with you" I add after a moment's silence.

I watch as he listens and then slowly shakes his head and he grips my hand tightly, "I also want to be the last man to ever touch you and make love to you" he says earnestly.

I sigh, he hasn't listened to a word I've said, I shake my head, and pull my hand from his grip.

"Christian have you not heard a word I just said? We are not compatible and we want different things. Please don't spoil this evening by trying to force something that isn't going to happen and lets part as friends; I would like to be your friend".

Christian snorts, and quickly withdraws his hand, "Friends? I don't have friends. I can't explain what I feel when you are near me, I want you Ana but not like before I want... more".

I swallow deeply and it hits me what he has just said, he said he wants more. He wants me, he wants the light, I stare at him – am I hearing this right and could it work?

"What do you mean by, more?" I ask tentatively.

Christian reaches for me again and grips my hand. "I want you in my life, not as my sub and not as a friend. I want you in my life as my lover, my girlfriend. I want to feel how I felt when I took you gliding, when we spent time together you made me feel... complete".

I feel tears run down my face, this is what I wanted and what he was unwilling to give.

"So, what are you saying? You are saying there will be no punishments, no rules, no hitting and definitely no controlling me?" I ask nervously, as I feel a pang of hope that maybe we could make a go of this, whatever this is.

He shakes his head, "No, none of that," he says he says firmly.

I think carefully, can I do this? My heart gives me the answer before my head has a chance to fire up and the words are spilling out of my mouth before I have chance to consider what I am saying.

"Ok, we will give it a try," I say.

Before I can say anything else he is on his feet and hauling me up and pulling me to him holding me tightly. I carefully place my hands on his head so I don't accidentally touch his body and he kisses me hard, his tongue invading my mouth.

He pulls away gasping for air and cups my face with his hands staring into my eyes he smiles "I swear, you won't regret this" he says.

"I hope not" I reply.

We sit down again as the waiter approaches with our food and we start to eat. After a few moments silence as we concentrate on our meals, I feel need to say something. My head is spinning from the events of the past few moments but it has caught up and common sense is now prevailing once more and I know that I need to say this.

I wipe my mouth with my napkin and put my fork down.

"Christian, if we are to work we need to be totally open and honest with each other. We need to trust each other with some pretty shitty stuff from our pasts," I stop as he freezes and then his head whips up to mine.

"What do you mean?" he demands. My heart sinks as I watch him shut down in front of me.

I pause, working out what I want to say. "It is obvious that you have... issues and baggage, the whole touching thing and I've seen the scars on your chest and back. So it doesn't take a genius to work out something really bad has happened to you at some point in your life".

I hold up my hand as he opens his mouth to interrupt me. "Please, let me finish" I say.

He nods and I continue, "Well you should know that I too have baggage, bad things have happened to me in my past and I am prepared to share all that with you to try and give our relationship the best possible chance, but in order for us to really work, as you want us to, you also need to be as open and honest with me".

I see a flash of panic on his face, and I quickly continue "I don't mean right now, this minute. However, it has to be done over a period of time. We need to talk to each other about our pasts and the things which have happened to both of us which have shaped us and made us the people we are now".

I see him thinking over my words, I wait and then my heart sinks as I see him slowly shaking his head.

"No I can't," he says at last.

He reaches over the table to touch my hand "If I were to tell you, I mean tell you everything you would leave me and would never want anything to do with me again and I can't risk that".

I stare at him and pull my hand away, "Well, we don't stand any chance then as no relationship can survive without trust or honesty. We can't do this Christian, I need to be able trust you and you need to trust me. You obviously can't or won't and you think by not talking to me, you will keep me? Well wrong again because a relationship is built on trust, openness and honesty. If we don't have that we don't _have_ a relationship, I won't be with someone who cannot be honest with me".

I look at my half eaten meal and stand up. Christian looks up at me in surprise as I throw my napkin on the table.

"Thank you for a lovely meal Christian, but I seem to have lost my appetite". As I walk past him I pause to kiss his cheek before leaving the restaurant and I head up to my room blinking away the tears of disappointment.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I am eating breakfast in the restaurant the next morning while going over the events of last night, when Jack breezes in. I glance up at him and point to the pile of brochures and papers at the side of me. He beams at me but makes no effort to collect them.

"Good morning Ana and how are you this morning, ready to rock and roll?" he says with a grin.

I nod but don't say a word as Jack takes the seat beside me and shuffles uncomfortably close. I immediately shift my chair away from him and he reaches out and places his hand on my arm.

"Ana, I don't want to pry but what is between you and Grey?" he asks.

"Nothing" I reply shortly, "We dated, we broke up and now are friends, nothing more" I add pulling my arm from his grasp.

I drain my mug of tea and push the final bit of toast in my mouth before standing to move away. Jack grabs my arm again and pulls me down and leans in close and whispers in my ear.

"You see, I don't believe a word of it and I have seen the way he looks at you. He looks at you like he wants to fuck your brains out, so I'll ask you again do you and he have something going on?" I freeze as I feel his other hand surreptitiously touching my breast, I turn my head and stare at him coldly.

"Jack, I am not going to answer that as it is none of your business. You are my boss, not my keeper and who I am friends with is none of your concern, now get your hands off me and stop touching me inappropriately". I go to pull my arm away and he grips tighter, until it is almost painful and alarm bells start ringing loudly at this.

"Now here's the thing Ana. You see, it is my business. It is my business because I want to fuck your brains out and he has been getting in the way of me doing just that. You do know that I was going to have you last night until he fucking interrupted and cock blocked me. You have had already denied me once last night but I am a patient and reasonable man so I waited while you went and did your sightseeing, but I had decided that when you came back I was going to have you and I was going to fuck you, why else do you think I brought you here with me to New York?"

I stare at him in utter disbelief; I know that I need to get away from him and here right now. I try and move but Jack just holds on tighter, he leans in and whispers in my ear.

"I got you this job and I fought for you when Elizabeth wanted someone more experienced, so you owe me. You owe me big time and you are going to repay me. You are going to give me what I want if you want to keep your job".

I stare at him in shock, "Are you mad, you do realise this is sexual harassment don't you?" I ask, trying to sound more confident that I am actually feeling at this moment.

Jack just grins at me, and leans even closer. I feel sick as he caresses my breast again.

"We are going to walk out of here, nice and casual. We are going upstairs to your room and I am going to fuck you hard do you understand me?" he says.

I feel the dread running through me. Thankfully though I had kept my wits about me and pressed the voice record button on my phone and I now have recorded evidence of all his disgusting threats. I say nothing but nod my head as I try and work out my next move. I glare up at Jack who is now practically salivating.

"Let me go, I will not be manhandled" I hiss at him.

He laughs and shakes his head, "No way sweetheart, you think I was born yesterday? The minute I let go of you, you will run".

I quickly reassess and decide that my best bet is to cause a massive scene here, he thinks I'm too afraid to do anything but if I kick off where there are witnesses that will be my only chance to get away from him. I am certain that he is banking on me being too shy and afraid of him to do anything, well he doesn't know me very well.

"HELP ME! SOMEONE PLEASE, LET GO OF ME JACK STOP TOUCHING ME GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BREAST" I scream and I start flailing my arms and screaming out and generally drawing as much attention to myself as I can.

It seems to work as the whole restaurant goes silent and people turn to look towards us, I see hotel staff watching and I see someone picks up a phone. Jack looks daggers at me, but instead of letting go he wraps his arm around me and tries to lift me and drag me out of the restaurant, as he does so, I keeps screaming and yelling and I am wriggling furiously. His grip slips on me and I manage to turn and with my free hand I punch him squarely in face this obviously takes him by surprise and he drops me, I realise that this is my chance and I scramble to my feet and as he reaches for me again I turn and grab him and I knee him hard in the groin. He falls to his knees and groans and I just step over him and turn and run out of the restaurant, tears now flowing down my cheeks, I am shocked throughout that whole episode nobody actually bothered to come to my aid, they all stood and watched but nobody helped.

"You fucking cock blocking prick teasing bitch, you will regret that" he screams at me but I don't look back and make my way to my room, I pack quickly and then I call Ray.

"Daddy, it's me" I stammer as he picks up.

"Annie what's happened, did that Jack guy try something?" I hear the anger mixed with worry in his voice.

"Yes, he did, but I'm ok" I say. I quickly outline what happened and what I did and Ray talks to me and calms me down.

"You did good sweetheart, and it was real smart of you to record him threatening you. Now listen to me, you need to get yourself out of there and to the nearest police department and press charges against him, ok?"

"Yes" I say quietly. I know I have now probably lost my job, but I also know that I need to do this. I end my call with Ray and then take some time to pull myself together before I pack my little case and then I take a deep breath and I head downstairs. I am on full alert looking around in case Jack is still here. As I pass the desk a hotel employee is waiting for me and he calls out to me. I recognise him as the man who spoke to me the previous night. I glance at his badge and see he is the manager.

"Miss Steele, are you alright? Could you come this way please, I witnessed the assault on you in the dining room" he says kindly, I hesitate and I think he thinks I am still afraid. But I am wondering if he witnessed it why the hell didn't he step in and help me?

"Miss Steele, you are perfectly safe, I took the liberty of calling the police and two officers are in here now to take your statement, and your attacker has been apprehended" he says.

I hear a commotion and glance over to see Jack handcuffed and being led away, I sag with relief and follow the manager into a side room. I freeze as I walk through the door as I see none other than Gideon Cross standing there and he is berating several members of staff. It is an odd exchange, I can tell he is totally livid but he hasn't raised his voice once, but somehow his very cold and clipped tone has far more impact than ranting ever could. I look around and see two police officers waiting awkwardly as I catch the tail end of the confrontation.

"…I am ashamed that not one member of my staff came to that woman's aid". He stops and looks round and as he sees me he smiles kindly at me.

"Miss Steele we meet again, please come and sit down" he gestures to a seat and then sits beside me. "How are you, are you alright?" he says with obvious concern.

I nod silently I lost for words as I am totally confused as to why he is here.

"Mr Cross, why are you here?" I ask eventually.

"This is my hotel. I own it, and I was made aware of the disturbance this morning and what had happened to you, so I came straight over to offer my assistance".

I nod, it sounds feasible but I still can't understand why he came personally, and why would he want to offer his assistance to me? I put it out of my mind and I relax a little. One of the police officers sits down beside me and asks me details of what happened. I outline once again what happened and I hand over my phone and play the recording I made, as I hear Jack's voice I feel tears well up in my eyes again and I quickly wipe them away.

I see Gideon slide off his seat and crouch down in front of me, "Miss Steele what are your plans now?" he asks me gently and I am touched as he really seems genuinely concerned for me.

I shake my head, "I have no idea. I am only an intern, I am… was Jacks assistant so I doubt I even have a job now. I suppose the first thing I should do is phone Mr Roach in Seattle and find out what they want me to do".

I glance at my watch and realise with the time difference it is far too early yet to call the office as nobody will be there.

"Roach? Would that be Jerry Roach?" Gideon asks me and I nod.

"Yes, he's Jack's boss, so I suppose it would be him I should speak to" I say.

I watch Gideon stand up and reach in his pocket and pull out his cell phone. He calmly taps in a number and waits.

"Jerry, Gideon Cross here how are you?... yes it's been a while... listen, I'm sorry to call you so early but it is important. There has been a situation at one of my hotels here in New York. Your employee Miss Ana Steele was physically and sexually assaulted by your other employee Jack Hyde... yes that is correct... yes he has... she is here with me now... yes… yes she is naturally very distressed and upset by the whole thing... right, I'll take care of her… yes I'll tell her that, thank you goodbye Jerry" he hangs up and smiles at me.

"All sorted and he said not to worry about anything" he says as he pushes his phone away.

"He also said you can either abandon the exhibition and get a flight straight back to Seattle, or you can stay and go to the exhibition but he wanted to make it clear that there is no pressure for you to do so, only if you feel up to it" he looks at me questioningly and I quickly think about my options. I pull myself together and I realise I can make this work and prove myself and hopefully they will keep me on and reassign me to someone else when I get back.

"I think I'd like to stay" I say carefully.

Gideon nods and holds out his hand to me, "would you like to accompany me to the Literary Exhibition? I am also attending as my company Cross Publishing are also exhibiting there?"

I am still feeling dazed as I stand and take his hand. I look down at my case and he turns to the manager.

"Please have Miss Steele's luggage returned to her room". I go to hand the key card to the manager, but Gideon takes it from me and glances at the room number, before handing it to the manager.

"I need to get the brochures and paperwork if I am still going to the exhibition" I say, as I remember the discarded boxes of brochures that I left in the dining room.

"Don't worry, it has been taken care of already. Shall we go Ana?" he says.

I nod and silently follow him out of the office. He grips my hand tightly as we leave the hotel.

He ushers me into the waiting Bentley. I recognise it from the previous night and he smiles at me, before I can stop myself the question I have been thinking since I laid eyes on Gideon Cross this morning tumbles out of my mouth.

"Why are you helping me? Why me?" I ask, and then I blush as I realise how accusing that sounded.

Gideon smiles at me and he looks confused, which was something I didn't expect. "If I totally honest with you, I'm really not sure" he says and then he pauses and seems to consider something before continuing. "I'll be honest with you, when you told me last night who you were and why you were in New York and where you came from I made enquiries as to where you were staying and I came by this morning on the off chance of seeing you, and now I'm just glad I did".

My eyes widen at this, "But…" I begin.

He shrugs, "It wasn't hard to track you down, from the information you gave me and the fact I own practically all the hotels in New York City".

Now my mouth drops open, "why?" I ask.

I watch as he shakes his head and he looks bewildered. "I don't know, I honestly don't know and I want to assure you right now that I don't make a habit of behaving like this and I really don't mean to offend you or frighten you, it's just… I have no idea why but you intrigue me Miss Steele and I just wanted to see you again. I mean obviously you are an incredibly beautiful woman but there is something about you as well".

He stops and just stares at me, I feel his amazing blue eyes boring into me again and I can't look away, I am captivated by them. I try and pull myself together, I can't do this and I need to keep a clear head.

We arrive at the exhibition and I notice that Gideon's arrival causes a stir. The people at the enormous display stand for Cross Publishing are clearly not expecting him and they burst into a flurry of activity when they see him. I glance at it and see that Cross Publishing has offices all over the country. I am led to the much smaller stand which SIP has booked and I quickly set up the display and arrange the brochures and papers. I am starting to feel nervous about doing this by myself but I am also anxious to prove that I can, if only to show Mr Roach that I won't let the company down despite what has happened to me personally. So hopefully, maybe he will consider retaining me and offering me another position within SIP.

I have a very busy and productive morning, by the time lunchtime comes around I have garnered quite a bit of interest in SIP and I call Roach to give him the update on how things are going. I glance at my watch and quickly calculate the time difference.

"Good Morning Mr Roach" I say politely when he picks up the phone.

"Ana how are you?" he asks carefully and with obvious concern.

"I'm fine sir" I say confidently, I quickly go through all what I have done and how I have collected all the information on prospective authors and explain my plans for the afternoon session.

There is a silence and I worry suddenly I have done something wrong, "Are you there Mr Roach?" I ask eventually.

"Yes... yes I am, I'm sorry Ana I am just stunned. You have done very well, more than well you have done exceptionally under the circumstances and you have provided more leads and information in one morning of this year's exhibition than Hyde has managed in the last 5 years... tell me Ana what did he try to do to you?"

I release a harsh breath and decide to go with the honest and ugly unvarnished truth. "He told me and this is his exact words, that he wanted to fuck me hard and he would not take no for an answer, he tried to touch me sexually and I had to physically remove him from my presence" I reply bluntly.

"Physically remove him?" Roach asks.

"Yes, I punched him in the face and kneed him in the groin, when he refused to let me go and tried to drag me away, not to mention screamed blue murder and attracted the attention of everyone in the restaurant" I say calmly. There is another short silence and then Roach speaks again.

"I see" he says, "well rest assured Ana you definitely have a place at SIP, but the same can't be said for Mr Hyde. Don't worry about anything, and make sure that you come and see me when you get back to Seattle and we will have a meeting with Elizabeth to discuss your future here" he adds kindly.

"Thank you Mr Roach, I will but I need to go now" I say, more than a little relieved by his assurances.

"Yes of course Ana, goodbye," Roach replies.

"Goodbye sir" I say and hang up feeling more secure and relieved that my fledgling career is not in tatters. I replenish the brochures and as I prepare for the afternoon session I sense someone behind me, I turn and see Christian standing there staring at me.

"Ana" he says simply.

"Christian" I reply.

"I heard what happened, tell me now what did that fucker try do to you?" he asks and I watch as he balls his hands into fists.

"He tried to drag me away out of the restaurant and he tried to blackmail me into having sex with him, and he tried to touch me" I say stiffly.

Christian lurches forward and pulls me close, "I won't let him hurt you, he won't even come near you again" he growls.

I gently push myself away from him. "Thank you Christian, but it really is none of your concern and everything has been handled" I say.

He continues to stare at me, "Have you eaten?" he asks eventually.

I roll my eyes and gesture around me. "No, if you hadn't noticed I am manning the stand on my own, so I haven't had time" I say curtly, returning my attention to the brochures.

"Ana please" he replies and he steps towards me and places his hand on my arm. I turn and face him. As I do so I see Gideon walking over towards me with a brown paper bag in his hand and a wide smile on his face. He glances at Christian but quickly returns his attention to me.

"Ana, how are you? I brought you some lunch, as I'm sure you haven't had chance to get yourself anything. I wasn't sure what you'd like so I just went basic and got you a plain chicken salad and a protein smoothie, I hope that's ok?"

I smile widely at Gideon, "Thank you that was very kind of you, how much do I owe you?" I say reaching for my purse.

Gideon gazes at me in surprise, "Ana please don't insult me" he says holding up the bag.

I stare him down, "If you don't allow me to pay my way Mr Cross, you will be offending me".

To my surprise he throws his head back and laughs and as he does this the room goes silent and everyone on the Cross Publishing stand just stares in our direction. I realise that this is obviously not a common occurrence.

"Well I certainly do not want to offend you Miss Steele" he says and fishes in his pocket for the receipt which he glances at briefly before slipping it into the bag before handing it to me".

"Thank you" I say. I look at the receipt and retrieve the correct money from my purse and place it in Gideon's hand. He looks at it and then shakes his head at me.

"Thank you Ana, although it really wasn't necessary".

He notices Christian watching and he frowns so I quickly step in and make the introductions.

"Gideon, this is a friend of mine Christian, Christian Grey. He is the CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings in Seattle and he is in New York on business and so he dropped by to say hello. Christian this is Gideon Cross, he helped me this morning with the situation with Jack" I say.

I watch as the two men assess each other and Gideon thrusts out his hand in greeting.

"Good to finally meet you in person Grey, I have heard a lot about you as the media seem to like to compare us due to our age and our success in the business world" he says.

Christian accepts the handshake and nods, "Likewise" he says in his most clipped tone.

They continue to stare at each other for a few more moments and then Gideon returns his attention back to me.

"I will collect you at the end of the day and drive you back to the hotel, but I have to go now as I have a meeting I need to attend" he says and with that he leans down and presses a small kiss to my cheek and then he walks away.

Christian has stood there watching the exchange and after Gideon has gone he turns to me, fury evident on his face.

"Ana, do not get involved with Cross, he is a known womaniser and he will play with you and when he gets bored he will drop you. You don't deserve that and I won't allow it" he says.

I stare incredulously at him, "Christian, how many times and in how many different ways do I have to point out to you that it is none of your business what I do, or who I am friends with and you certainly don't get to say who I can see and who I can't".

Christian opens his mouth to say more but I hold up my hand to stop him. "We are not in a relationship Christian and I am certainly not looking for a relationship with Gideon or anyone else. I only met him yesterday; he is simply a decent man who has been kind to me. Now if you don't mind Christian I have to get on".

I say and to emphasise my point I turn away from him, pointedly ignoring him and hoping he gets the message and goes.

When I turn around again he has gone and I sigh with relief.

**oooOOOooo**

Gideon is as good as his word and at the end of the day he comes over to the SIP stand. I am gathering up all the information I have, and packing it all away ready to take back to Seattle, I glance at my watch. I have 3 hours before I need to head to the airport to catch my flight back to Seattle. I wonder briefly what has happened to Jack but I put it out of my mind.

"Ana are you ready to go?" Gideon asks me, I smile at him and nod.

"I am, thank you… and thank you for everything" I say as I go to gather up the box of information, Gideon waves his hand dismissively and takes the box from me and carries it out to the car waiting at the kerb. I smile at the man who drives Gideon and he nods at me.

"Good evening Miss Steele" he says with broad Scottish accent.

"Good Evening" I respond as I climb into the car.

Gideon climbs in beside me, "Have dinner with me?" he asks but making it sound more like a demand by the way he says it.

I shake my head, "I'd love to, I really would but I have to get to La Guardia to catch my flight back to Seattle and I just don't have the time, I'm sorry" I say apologetically.

I see him thinking, "Miss Steele how about you stay another night in New York and I fly you back to Seattle first thing in the morning in one of my planes. I have to visit Seattle on business so it would be nice to have a little company on the flight?"

I stare at him, "Erm... I am expected back at SIP tomorrow morning... and my ticket is booked, also I only have a hotel reservation for last night" I say.

With that Gideon pulls his phone from his pocket and makes a couple of calls and just like that I am booked into the hotel for another night and not expected at work until tomorrow afternoon and he has taken care of my airline ticket. He smiles at me again as he pushes his phone away, "Now Miss Steele will you have dinner with me?" he asks.

I smile at him and nod "I'd love to" I reply.

I am looking through my clothes in my hotel room and I am now wishing I hadn't said yes to dinner. Gideon is a super rich man, even more so than Christian, by nearly 3 billion dollars as I discovered after I Googled him. I am having dinner with him and all I have to wear is my Wal-Mart dress. I stare at it and then I pull myself together. No, I won't feel ashamed of who I am. If he is embarrassed to be seen with me then that's his problem and he is obviously not the man I think he is.

I quickly text Kate and Ray to let them know I am staying another night and am flying back in the morning and I get responses from Kate thanking me for letting her know but moments later my phone rings and I look at the caller ID and smile when I see Ray's name.

"Hi dad" I say brightly.

"Annie, why are you staying longer in New York, is it anything to do with that Hyde guy?" my dad sounds worried and I quickly put his mind at rest.

"No dad, nothing like that but the guy who has been helping me with that has invited me out to dinner tonight and he offered to fly me home tomorrow as he has business in Seattle and so I am hitching a ride with him" I say.

There is a silence on the line "Who is this guy Annie?" Ray asks carefully.

I take a deep breath, "His name is Gideon Cross. He owns the hotel I am staying in and he also owns a publishing company who were exhibiting at the exhibition SIP was at. He is really nice dad, and before you ask he's been a perfect gentleman and he has been helping me with everything that has happened. He smoothed things over for me with Mr Roach at work" I say earnestly. There is a silence before Ray responds.

"Gideon Cross... Annie are you serious? You don't mean _the_ Gideon Cross, as in Gideon Cross the billionaire businessman who owns Cross Industries, and not to mention most of New York?"

"Erm… yes," I say in a small voice.

There is another silence and then Ray sighs, "Good god Annie, you know how to pick them. First Christian Grey and now him, but just be careful sweetheart, ok? That guy has a reputation and it's not a good one". My dad sound even more worried now.

"I'll be fine dad and as I said, he has been nothing but a perfect gentleman" I say confidently. "Listen I have to go now, I'll call you again when we get back to Seattle" I add.

"Ok sweetheart. Well, enjoy your dinner, and let me know when you are home, Bye Annie" he says.

"Bye Dad" I answer and I kill the call.

I quickly dress and head downstairs to the bar to wait, but as I enter I see Gideon sitting at the bar nursing a glass of bourbon. He turns and sees me and his face breaks into a smile and then he immediately stands and drains his glass and walks over to me. His eyes run up and down my body and I freeze, watching his reaction carefully.

"You look lovely," he says and he leans down and kisses my cheek softly whilst offering me his arm. I relax immediately and I slip my hand through his arm.

"Thank you" I say.

Gideon leads me from the bar and I feel everyone's eyes on me as we walk outside to where Gideon's car is waiting. I glance at the driver and see it is not the older Scottish man who has always been there before, but a much younger man. I say hello and smile politely at him and he nods at me as he opens the car door and I climb in and Gideon quickly follows.

"Where are we going?" I ask as I pull my seatbelt on.

"A little restaurant I know, it's called Tableau One" he says as he settles himself beside me.

I swallow deeply, I have heard of this place. It opened to a fanfare of media interest as it is owned by Arnoldo Ricci the famous TV chef and it has a reputation of having a waiting list of about two months to even get a reservation, I nod but I don't say a word.

When we arrive a man greets Gideon warmly and fusses over him and we are lead inside and my breath catches as I see Arnoldo himself waiting. He approaches Gideon and they greet each other, and from the way they are behaving I realise immediately that they are obviously close friends, Gideon turns to me and introduces me.

"Arnoldo, this is Ana Steele, she is currently visiting New York from Seattle" Arnoldo beams at me and then grabs my hand kisses it.

"I am so very pleased to meet you Ana Steele from Seattle" he says kindly with his smooth Italian accent. He lets me go and then he escorts us to a small secluded table.

I sit down and pick up the menu. I am shocked at the prices and I think it must show on my face, I quickly scan the menu looking for the cheapest dish.

"Ana, please pick whatever you want" Gideon says gently. "What would you like to drink?" he adds.

"Erm... I'd like a glass of white wine please," I mutter feeling more and more out of my depth as the moments pass.

I finally begin to relax a little when our food is served. "It looks delicious" I say as the plate is placed in front of me.

Gideon smiles again, "So Ana, tell me all about yourself" he says as he lifts his fork to begin eating.

I shrug, "what do you want to know?" I ask.

He stares at me, "everything" he says seriously.

I swallow deeply again and then take a deep breath, "well there's not much to tell. I'm an only child I live in Seattle with my best friend Kate, we met at WSU where I studied English Literature, my mom lives in Georgia with her husband and my step dad lives in Montesano. I work at SIP and before that I put myself through college by working at a Hardware store" I stop and shrug, yep that about covers it.

"What about your biological father?" Gideon asks.

I shake my head, "Dead, I never knew him. The only father I have ever known is Ray Steele my mom's second husband" I say and a smile comes to my lips as I think of my beloved stepfather.

"I'm sorry" Gideon says quickly.

I shrug again, "don't be, you weren't to know, plus Ray is my father in every sense" I reply.

"How do you know Christian Grey?" Gideon asks carefully and I pause, I should have known this was coming.

I smile at the memory, "My friend Kate was editor of the college newspaper and she had managed to get an interview with him as he was due to be the guest of honour at the forthcoming graduation ceremony. It was quite a massive coup as he is known for _not_ giving interviews, but Kate is shall we say, tenacious. Anyway, but on the day itself she was ill, she got the flu and so obviously she didn't want to cancel the interview of a lifetime and so she press ganged me into driving to Seattle to interview him instead. To be honest with you I didn't even know who he was, but I interviewed him and he sort of pursued me afterwards and we had a brief... relationship".

"Relationship?" he asks.

I nod, "very brief, as it quickly became apparent that we were just too different and it would never have worked out between us". I realise as I say that how sad that thought makes me feel.

"You have feelings for him?" Gideon asks.

I think about that and then nod, "Yes I do, he is very easy to love and I fear I may have got in a little too deep too quickly. But it would never have worked, as I say we want different things". I shake my head and try and push the thoughts of Christian from my mind. I look up at Gideon and smile brightly at him.

Gideon nods thoughtfully. "You say you had no idea who Grey was before you met him, tell me had you heard of me before you met me?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes, I knew of you because after I graduated I went for an interview for an internship at Cross Publishing (Washington) in Seattle but I didn't get it, I got the one at SIP... obviously". I pause awkwardly and look down at my food, now feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Really?!" Gideon's eyebrows rise at that news.

I wonder where this is heading so I try and turn things back on to him, "What about you Gideon?" I ask bravely looking straight at him.

He looks taken aback but quickly recovers, "What do you know of me?" he asks tightly.

I sigh "Only what I have read in newspapers and magazine articles... and what I discovered when I Googled you so probably nothing of any truth or substance. I know that you are the son of Geoffrey Cross who…" I trail off realising what I have just said and wish I could stuff the words back into my mouth. Gideon smiles, but it is forced and brittle.

"Aah yes, dear old dad Geoffrey Cross who embezzled money and swindled people in a crooked Ponzi scheme," Gideon says bitterly.

"I'm sorry" I mutter.

He shakes his head, "No don't be, he is usually the first thing people think of when the name Cross is mentioned".

An awkward silence falls between us and I shuffle in my seat, and try and retrieve the conversation.

"I also know you are obscenely rich and you own half of Manhattan and that you have built a huge empire in the leisure industry" I say.

Gideon laughs, "Obscenely rich, yes I suppose I am and I would say I own _more_ than half of Manhattan" he says with amusement and perhaps a little arrogance.

He pauses and looks at me carefully "I take it money doesn't impress you Ana?" he says.

I shake my head, "No, not at all. I am really not a material person. Christian was very generous with his money and all it did was make me feel uncomfortable, it made me feel cheap as though he was trying to buy me" I stop and return my attention to my plate.

A sudden thought hits me and I look up at Gideon and am taken aback as he is staring at me intently, "Do you have all this information about me already and are you just asking me to see if I tell you the truth?"

Gideon looks shocked, "No, I haven't, admittedly it is within my power to do a background check on you and discover what I want to know about you, but it would be a gross invasion of your privacy, and besides if I already knew, then we would have nothing to talk about over dinner".

I nod and feel myself going red, "I'm sorry" I mutter looking down at my plate.

"No problem, tell me, why did you ask me that?" he says gently.

I look up at him "Because Christian researched the hell out me and knew everything about me and I didn't like it" I say firmly.

There is a silence as Gideon seems to be working things out in his mind, "Ana, I will be honest with you I really like you" he says, he puts his fork down and trains his attention on me.

"You are obviously a highly intelligent woman and you don't let people walk all over you, and you have said no to me. Do you have any idea how few people have said no to me before? I find you intriguing" he stops and his hand reaches across the table towards me.

He thinks for a moment and then continues to speak. "I would really like to get to know you better, I also need to tell you that normally by this point, I would be trying to proposition you for sex, but I have too much respect for you to do that and besides after the way you reacted to Jack Hyde, I would like to keep my balls intact although I assure you I would never treat you as he did. I am therefore in uncharted territory. I am very attracted to you physically, but also on a deeper level and I have to say this has never actually happened to me before" he stops speaking and waits for my response, looking at me carefully. I feel my mouth dropping open at his words.

I look into his face and I see vulnerability in his eyes, it's a look I have seen before in Christians eyes. I am torn, I like him, there is something about him which pulls me to him but I don't want to get burnt, like I did with Christian.

"What do you mean that this has never happened to you before? I find that very difficult to believe when you have somewhat of a reputation as a ladies' man" I say trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Gideon snorts and shakes his head and he looks embarrassed, "Yes I do, but I normally tend to keep the women I like as friends separate from the women I like to fuck. I have a rule that I don't fuck my friends. I don't date, as it raises expectations which I am unable to fulfil. However, you are making me see things differently not to mention you are making me break all my rules. I will admit I am... uncomfortable with this realisation as I have never been in this position before but I would really like to get to know you better". He stops his eyes are almost pleading with me.

"Well" I begin, "We have a long flight tomorrow morning to Seattle we can talk some more then if you want, and for the record I won't think of tonight as a date". I am being deliberately non committal but it appears to be enough for him as a genuine smile spreads across his face which takes my breath away, as it lights up his face.

He squeezes my hand tightly, "Thank you Ana" he whispers.

At the end of the evening, Gideon escorts me to my hotel room and he runs his hand down my arm.

"Well goodnight Ana and thank you for a lovely evening, I had the best time with you" he says.

There is an awkward pause before he leans down and softly kisses me on the cheek. I feel my body tense and before I realise what I am doing I wrap my arms around his neck and find his mouth and kiss him gently on the lips. His arms go around me and he pulls me towards him and he deepens the kiss, but suddenly he pulls away.

"I...I'm sorry" he stutters.

"Don't be, it was my fault, I should never…" I stop, now feeling foolish and I look down at my feet. I feel my face burn as I blush with the embarrassment of what I just did.

"No, don't say that... I just... I have never done anything like this before and I don't want to fuck it up," I see that same look of vulnerability in his eyes and I smile at him.

"Don't worry, just go with the flow," I say.

He touches my cheek with his fingers and he leans in to kiss me again this time it's a small chaste kiss on the lips.

"I'll see you in the morning Ana, it will be quite early. I have arranged a wake-up call for you from reception so you are ready for when I come to fetch you" he says.

I nod, "Ok, thank you, goodnight Gideon".

"Goodnight Ana," he replies and after discreetly adjusting himself, he turns and is gone.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I am awakened next morning and I glance at the clock, holy shit he wasn't kidding it is early 5:30, I answer the phone and the bright voice informs me that this is my early morning wake-up call. I mumble a word of thanks and stumble to the shower.

I am all ready to go when there is a soft knock on the door, I go and answer and there he is, Gideon smiles at me and once again I am stunned by his beautiful blue eyes.

"Good morning Ana, are you ready to go?" he asks.

I smile at him "Yes I am, even though it's stupid o clock" I grumble.

He throws his head back and laughs, "Don't worry you can sleep on my plane there is a bed on board you can use, I wanted to get to Seattle early, and so our take off slot is at 7:30" he says. He picks up my case and the boxes of SIP things and he leads me to the elevator.

"Let me help you with those?" I say as I reach for one of the boxes but he stubbornly shakes his head.

We arrive at the airport and the waiting private jet with the words Cross Industries emblazoned down the side. I see that on the tail there is a number 3 and wonder what that means. I put it out of my mind and board the plane. Once I am settled on Gideon's plane, I look around me and I can't help but think once again of Christian, and wonder if this is anything like his GEH jet which I saw. Gideon settles himself beside me and touches my hand.

"Okay?" he asks uncertainly.

I nod, it's still very early and my brain has yet to achieve full function ability. "It's very nice" I say lamely gesturing around me, Gideon smiles.

"It's one of six that I have, they are mainly used for my casino's to pull in the high rollers, but they also come in handy for me for business travel, this one in particular is jet number three and one I try and keep for my own private use as much as possible".

I stare at him, the number on the tail of the plane now making complete sense, one of six. He said that so easily as it if was the most normal thing in the world to own six planes. I am distracted by the sound of the plane taxiing down the runway and fear streaks through me. I am not a huge fan of takeoff and landing and I grip the seat tightly.

Gideon sees my distress and reaches for my hand and holds it tightly in his.

"There is nothing to worry about" he says gently running his thumb over my knuckles. As soon as we are in the air and free to move about I relax and Gideon lets go of my hand. He unbuckles his seatbelt and stands.

"Let me show you around" he says holding his hand out to me.

I follow him around the plane as he shows me the different areas, his office, a bathroom and finally a bedroom.

"Do you need to sleep?" he asks me when we reach the bedroom. I shake my head I am now wide awake and won't be able to go back to sleep now.

"Maybe later" I say and he nods at me.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" he asks.

"I'd love a cup of tea if you have it" I say, "English Breakfast Tea is my favourite, but I'm not fussy" I add.

Gideon smiles and walks into a small area with a coffee machine, which by the smell of it has some fresh coffee waiting, a kettle and a few cupboards. He opens one and there is a box of English Breakfast Tea. Almost immediately a young girl appears, her badge says she is an employee of Cross Industries.

"Let me get that for you sir," she says.

Gideon smiles at her, "No, I think I can manage to make a cup of tea," he replies.

The girl nods "very good sir" and with that she vanishes again.

"How do you have it?" he asks, looking at me.

"Weak and black, bag out" I say watching him with interest. I am still struggling to process the fact that one of the world's richest business men is standing here doing something as mundane as making a me a cup of tea. He boils a kettle and I watch as he pours the water into a mug. I take over and quickly dunk my teabag in and then out again.

"Does that even taste like tea?" he teases.

I smile, "it's just how I like it" I say.

"What else do you like Ana?" Gideon asks, as he leans against the unit. His gorgeous blue eyes are searching my face.

"In what context?" I ask as I sip my tea.

"Everything, what do you like to eat, drink, see, do, hobbies, interests, everything" he says.

I go and sit down and think, I have never really thought about it in great detail before. Gideon follows me and I notice he has a mug of steaming coffee in his hand.

"Erm... well I don't like coffee very much" I say nodding at his mug, and he grins and takes a sip.

"I will drink it occasionally if the mood takes me - but I prefer tea. My favourite alcoholic drink is white wine, but I do drink beer as well, I like to try and eat healthily but my favourite junk food is pizza, I can cook and I like to experiment, I like cooking but my biggest love is books, reading is my passion and I love the idea of finding new stories and authors.

"What books do you like Ana?" he asks as he listens carefully to me.

I look at him and smile, "I love the English classics, but I will read anything as long as it's well written and holds my attention, I will give anything a go once".

"What do you do for fun Ana?" he asks me, "apart from read of course" he adds.

I think carefully, "I love music" I say, my mind immediately returns to Christian and his love of music and I feel sad suddenly.

"What's wrong?" he asks obviously noting my sudden withdrawal.

I shake my head, "Nothing, it just talking about music reminded me of something... someone" I say.

"Grey?" Gideon asks.

I look at him startled that he hit the nail on the head and I nod.

"Why?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Christian always had music playing and he is a gifted piano player" I say with clear affection in my voice as I remember.

There is an awkward silence for a moment.

"You obviously love him so why on earth are you not with him?" Gideon asks eventually.

I sigh and shake my head, "I can't tell you because I signed a NDA. Christian is obsessive about his privacy, but as I have already told you it basically came down to the fact we were both just too different and wanted different things. I couldn't be what he wanted me to be". I say sadly.

Gideon looks at me and I see him stiffen, "Did he hurt you?" he asks suddenly.

I think about the question, he did but I am not about to go there, so I shake my head, "No" I answer in a tone which tells Gideon this subject is closed.

"What about you Gideon, what do you like?" I ask deflecting the conversation away from me.

He stares at me for a moment "My work takes up most of my time. I like to work out, and I have a personal trainer but I also use one my gym's which is near to my office. I too love music, but I don't really have too many hobbies as such, as work takes up a lot of my time" he says sadly.

I look at him, and I see a man who is inherently alone and I wonder why.

We spend the flight in easy conversation, Gideon asks about Ray and my mother and I feel myself smiling as I talk about them.

"You are very close to your step father, why did you choose to live with him instead of your mother?" Gideon asks.

I shake my head, "I...I didn't get on with husband number 3" I say shortly.

I don't want to even want to think about Stephen Morton, my mother's third husband. That is part of my life which I never want to revisit. Gideon frowns at my abrupt answer but thankfully takes the hint that I don't want to talk about it.

I talk about Ray and how he taught me to shoot and how he gave me training in self defence which had come in so useful with Jack. I tell him how Ray is a master craftsman – a carpenter and how he makes beautiful furniture. I explain how I know I can always rely on Ray to be there and how he is my rock.

"What about your mother?" Gideon asks.

I swallow hard "I love my mom" I say simply. I don't really want to talk about my mother about how much I love her, even though she always manages to let me down and make me feel like second best and how she exasperates me at times with her hair brained schemes.

Soon we arrive in Seattle, and with the time difference it is still quite early. I text Ray and Kate as soon as the plane has handed to let them know I am back. I see a car waiting at the foot of the plane for Gideon and he gestures for me to get in. I climb into the car and Gideon climbs in beside me.

"Where do you want to go Ana?" Gideon asks me.

"Erm... if you could drop me off at my apartment please, I'd be grateful" I ask.

Gideon nods and I tell the driver where to go. As we pull up outside, Gideon looks surprised as he takes in the affluent apartment block.

"I live with Kate, she's the wealthy one not me and her father bought her the apartment". I explain.

Gideon nods in understanding. "Thank you for everything you have done for me Gideon," I say sincerely, I reach up and kiss his cheek, and as I do so he grabs me and kisses me fiercely on the lips, with an intensity I have never known, when he pulls away we are both gasping.

"Wow" I mutter and I see a satisfied smile appear on Gideon's lips.

"I'd like to see you again Ana" he says.

I nod, "I'd like to see you again too" I reply. I decide to take the plunge, "I could cook you a meal if you want to?" I ask uncertainly.

"I would like that very much" Gideon replies smiling at me.

I rummage in my purse for a pen and a piece of paper and I write down my cell phone number and hand it to him, "If you get time while you are in Seattle give me a call" I say.

"Give me your phone," Gideon says holding out his hand.

I fish out my cell phone and hand it to Gideon and he stares at it, it is old and battered but it does what I want it to do. I see him tapping on the keypad and then he hands it back to me.

"I have given you my personal cell phone number, a direct line to my office and my home phone number. If you call my office at any time that number will put you through to my assistant Scott. I don't give out my personal numbers to many people so please don't pass them on".

I nod at him as I take back my phone, "I won't, thank you" I say quietly.

I climb out of the car and Gideon carries my boxes of work papers to my front door, as I open the door, I turn and take the boxes from him. "Thank you, you have been very kind to me" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he replies and once again runs his fingers down my cheek. "I'll let you get in, and I will call you later to arrange that meal you promised me" he adds with a wicked grin.

"Okay" I say and with that he turns and is gone, I watch him walk away but he doesn't look back.

After a brief rest and tidy up I put on a load of laundry and I gather together all my notes and information and the boxes of papers and prepare to leave for the office. Kate had returned home from her vacation while I was in New York but there is no sign of her at the apartment, apart from a note to say we would catch up later. I leave her a return note to let her know I have been home and seen it and then I head down to the garage to my car and as I pile in the boxes I hear a voice behind me.

"Ana" I turn sharply to be confronted by Christian. He takes a step back and he holds up his hands. "I didn't mean to frighten you, I just want to talk to you" he says. He looks miserable but I shake my head.

I sigh "We have nothing to say to each other Christian, please leave me alone" I say with more than a little exasperation. He doesn't seem to listen and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ipod I stare at it as he offers it to me.

"Please Ana, I have put some songs on here for you to listen to and they will explain to you how I really feel about you. The lyrics will tell you what I can't tell you, please take it" he begs and I sigh again and put out my hand and he places the ipod in my palm and he smiles at me.

"Thank you" I say, there is an awkward silence and then I add, "I need to go, I have to get to work".

Christian nods at me and turns to leave. I feel my heart beating against my chest and stare at the ipod in my hand. I push it into my purse as I climb into my car and head for SIP.

I am sitting at my desk feeling pretty pleased with myself. I have had an excellent meeting with Roach about the exhibition and Elizabeth was there to talk about the Jack situation. Jack is still in New York, I believe he is still being held in custody which I am surprised about, but have a suspicion that may have been something to do with Gideon.

He has been fired and the bit which astonished me the most is I have temporarily been given his job, for the time being until a replacement can be found. I was told that I am more than capable of doing it, as my intelligent notes on manuscripts have not gone unnoticed, plus my work ethic has also been noticed. Apparently, I have also proved myself by my actions at the exhibition by acquiring more leads to potential authors in one day than Jack has done in the whole time he has been with the company. As I contemplate what I am going to do for the rest of the day and as I sit staring at a pile of manuscripts in my in tray I hear my phone ringing, I rummage in my purse for it and seeing Gideon's name on the screen and I smile as I answer.

"Hello" I say.

"Ana, I am phoning about dinner tonight" that surprises me as I wasn't sure we had made any firm plans.

"Oh?" I say simply.

"Yes, I am really sorry but something has come up and I have to return to New York" he says apologetically. To be honest I never really expected him to call me back at all so I find it a nice gesture that he called to tell me that.

"That's ok; don't worry about it," I say brightly, "Another time maybe? The next time you are Seattle look me up" I add dismissively as I don't really expect I will ever see him again.

"Ana, I really am sorry I wasn't anticipating this at all" he says earnestly.

"Hey Gideon, that's fine you are a busy man you don't have to explain yourself to me, don't worry about it" I say.

"Ana you are a wonderful woman, and I promise I will make this up to you" Gideon says and I realise by his tone that he means it. I don't want him to feel bad so I decide to shut it down.

"Gideon, its fine honestly you have done more than enough already and it's no big deal. The next time you are in Seattle, you call me ok. Now I have to get on with some work, so have a safe flight and take care of yourself" I say.

"I will, thank you Ana and I'll see you again soon" he says and the line goes dead.

I sigh as I push my phone into my purse and as I do so I see the Ipod and pull it out. I run my thumb over it and then push it back into my purse, until later.

When I return home, the apartment is in darkness and I look around wondering where Kate is and as if she is answering my thoughts she texts me telling me she is at a bar in town with Elliot. I smile and text her back telling her we will catch up later. I grab myself some supper and sit down with a pile of manuscripts I brought home to work on. I pull out the ipod and stare at it then I push the headphone buds into my ears and switch it on. I go through the songs and after a few moments I am in floods of tears after listening to some of Christian's choices. I listen to 'The Scientist' by Coldplay and the words leave me breathless.

I put down the manuscripts and concentrate solely on the iPod, I want to listen to some more of the songs he has put on here for me, I think of his words from earlier..., '_they will explain to you how I feel about you, the lyrics will tell you what I can't tell you'_. I swallow hard and pick another song at random. I gasp again as I listen to it, I have to replay it several times before I believe what I am hearing, It's a Bon Jovi song I know well, but listening to it from Christian's point of view makes it so poignant.

I stare at the Ipod in my hand, am I reading this right, he wants me to touch him? I select another song wondering what I am going to hear next. I am surprised when I hear an old John Denver song... Annie's Song. I swallow hard at this choice as only Ray calls me Annie. I listen to the words and now I am shocked speechless. Does this mean he loves me? I greedily search again and pick another tune, this time its a Guns N' Roses song and again I listen carefully to the words.

I can't take any more, I throw down the ipod, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I grab my car keys, I don't call Christian but I call Taylor. I wait and when he eventually answers I ask one question.

"Hi Taylor, where's Christian?" I say calmly.

"Good evening Miss Steele, he's currently in his office at Grey House, why?" Taylor answers.

I think for a moment, Grey House would be the best place to see him.

"Listen Taylor" I say urgently, "Please don't say anything to him, but keep him at Grey House I am heading there now to speak to him, can you arrange for me to get in to him?" I ask.

There is a short silence, and then he replies "Yes I can do that".

"Thank you" I reply and as I jump into the car I kill the call.

About 10 minutes later I am sitting outside Grey House. I gather my thoughts and take a deep breath, as I approach the doors. I see Taylor running towards them and he unlocks them and lets me in.

He escorts me upstairs to Christian's office and points to the door. I pray to god I don't fall into his office like the last time I was here and Taylor slips away into his own office. I open the door and I see Christian with his head in his hands sitting at his desk. He hears the door and lifts his head up. I see the shock registering on his face as he sees me and he immediately jumps to his feet and rounds the desk striding towards me.

"Ana, what's wrong, are you alright?" he asks.

"I... I... the music, I was... did you? Oh Christian" I burst into tears and I feel Christian take me in his arms and hold me tightly to him. He leads me over to a large sofa and urges me to sit down on it, and taking my hands in his he sits beside me and looks hopefully into my face.

I take a deep breath I need to get this right and I don't want to mess it up. I look straight into Christian's face, I see the hope shining in his eyes and my heart melts.

"Did I hear those songs right?" I ask.

"What did you hear?" Christian replies quietly.

I swallow hard and shuffle in my seat, "that you miss me, that you want me, and that you... love me?" I say hesitantly.

A smile of relief crosses his face and he pulls me to him, "Yes, Yes and oh god yes" he says and he plants a small kiss on my forehead. I push away from him.

"There was also another message I got, but I'm really not sure about that one" I say, I watch Christian's face fall and he raises his eyebrows in question.

"The Bon Jovi song... do you... do you want me to touch you?" I whisper.

A small smile reappears on Christian's face, and he nods, "I'm afraid of what will happen, as I know it will hurt, but I also know that pain is psychological and that you wouldn't deliberately hurt me, but yes I do so much, you have no idea how much I crave your touch," he says.

I stare at him and I am completely speechless. I am totally at a loss, Christian takes the lead, empowered by his admissions and he pulls me on to his lap and wraps his arms around me and begins to speak.

"Ana, I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone or anything in my life before. I believe that I love you and have done since the moment I laid eyes on you. I don't want you as my sub, I want you as my girlfriend, since you left I have been lost in the darkness and I don't want that, I want you, you bring light and joy into my life which I have never known before - I want that life, I want... more".

More, this brings us right back to where we were at dinner the other night. I look up at him.

"Christian, if you want a relationship we have to be totally honest with each other, we can't build a relationship on secrets and lies, we have to tell each other everything.

I see fear appear in his eyes and he stiffens, I touch his face, "Please Christian" I coax.

"But you will leave me if I tell you the truth about me" he mutters.

I smile at him, "Christian, if you don't I won't start a relationship with you so what do you have to lose?" I say.

I watch as he considers this and then he nods, I press on with my reasoning, "I have some pretty ugly things in my past which I have never told anyone about and I am prepared to share them with you so you understand about me and why I behave the way I do, so please do me the same courtesy".

I see his mood shift suddenly and the fear in his eyes evolve into resolve.

"Ok" he says suddenly and decisively, then he stands up and he holds out his hand to me, "I will tell you, I'll tell you everything, but first you need to see something".

I grasp his hand, slightly stunned at his sudden capitulation and I stand up. He reaches for his phone with his free hand, and calls Taylor.

"Taylor I am ready to leave for Escala, Miss Steele will be with me" he says without taking his eyes from me.

"Christian, my car is here" I say, and Taylor must be saying something along the same lines, as Christian thinks for a moment and then speaks again.

"I will drive myself Taylor, you can drive Miss Steele's car to Escala". He pushes his phone into his pocket and leads me from his office, pulling me protectively to his side.

The car ride to Escala is silent and the closer we get I see Christian getting more and more tense, I know this is hard for him but we need this clean slate if we are to stand any chance of being a couple. When we arrive Christian leads me through the apartment and straight upstairs to the playroom, I look at him in shock when I realise where we are going.

"You need to see this," he says as he senses my unease. He unlocks the door and as he opens it I gasp. The room has been dismantled and stripped bare of all the BDSM paraphernalia, it is now an empty space with nothing in it. My mouth drops open and I look at him questioningly.

"I don't understand? You need this" I say.

Christian turns to face me and grabs my shoulders, "Ana, I need you more than I ever needed this", he waves his hand dismissively around the room.

"I can't do those things with you and so therefore I don't want to so there is no point in having the room. You should know that the thought of hurting you in any way appals me now". He stops desperately searching my face for my reaction.

"Did you get rid of everything?" I ask I am totally shocked he did this especially when he didn't even know that we would ever reconcile.

He nods, still watching my reaction carefully.

"Shame, I kind of liked those ball things" I say and I feel my face heat as I blush a little. Christian sees it and a smile crosses his face.

"So you like a little kinky fuckery?" he asks as he steps closer.

My mouth drops open and I giggle, "I do like the kinky fuckery, its just the rules and punishments and hitting I don't like" I say.

Christian nods, "Ok no rules, no punishments and no hitting and we will rebuild our playroom with things we both want and like. Ok?" he says hopefully. I nod and for the first time I am starting to feel hopeful about this and his answering smile is devastating.

He leads me back downstairs to the great room and I look around. Nothing has changed here and I sit down on the sofa. Christian goes and pours himself and me a glass of wine and walks over to me and sits beside me his smile has gone replaced by a grim expression and there is fear in his eyes. His whole demeanour has changed and I realise that this is it; he is going to tell me.

"Thank you" I say as I accept the wine and take a sip, I frown as I have a nasty metallic taste in my mouth and I suddenly feel a little nauseous so I put the glass down.

I decide I will not say another word and let him tell me in his own way in his own time and then I will tell him about my past.

Christian sets down his glass and grips my hand tightly and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Ok here goes" he says, I move a little closer to offer him some comfort and I reach for his hand which he lets me take in mine.

"Take your time, there's no rush I'm not going anywhere" I say gently.

Christian nods and begins to speak. "I was born in Detroit and my mother… my birth mother was a crack whore. She was an addict and she sold her body for drugs. Her pimp... physically abused me, he would punch me and kick me and the scars you saw on my chest and back… they are there because he used me as an ashtray" he shrugs as if it is no big deal but I know that is bravado and it is difficult for him to tell me this. I try and stifle the horrified gasp at his words and grip his hand tighter.

"My mother never protected me from him. I tried to hide, I screamed for her to help me at times but she never did" he stops and lowers his head. I am appalled and tears are now pouring down my cheeks, I don't move as I am scared if I do he will stop talking. He still has his eyes shut tight as he speaks of things no child should ever witness or endure.

"Eventually she died. It was inevitable considering her circumstances, she overdosed… and died. She was dead on the floor and I just didn't understand, I thought she was asleep but she was cold. I didn't understand I was only a toddler. I tried to wake her but she was cold, so cold. I covered her up with a blanket and lay down beside her and tried to warm her up. I was so hungry, and thirsty there was no food in the apartment and how I survived I don't know. He came back about four days later and discovered us. I hid as soon as I heard him arrive and he realised she was dead. He wasn't happy to say the very least and he looked for me and he found me. I won't go into detail but after that encounter I had 3 broken ribs and then he left. He just left… he left and left me there, locked in with my dead mother. It was a short while later the police came and broke into the apartment and I was taken to the hospital. Grace was the doctor on call that evening and she took care of me, she was so kind and patient, so gentle I thought she was an angel. Anyway she and Carrick saved me, they adopted me and we moved to Seattle".

He stops and he opens his eyes and looks warily at me. I see his face darken and the fear he is giving off is almost a living thing and I realise we are now approaching the part where he think I will leave him because nothing of what he has said so far makes me want to leave him, it just makes me want to stay and take care of him and love him.

He looks at me helplessly and shakes his head and tries to pull away from me, the fear is consuming him and he doesn't want to tell me.

I reach out again, "It's ok Christian just take your time. Take all the time you need, you are doing so well," I say reassuringly. He looks and the resolve returns and he nods, just once.

"Right from the start I had I had a fear of being touched. All I had ever known was being abused I had no memory of gentle or affectionate touch as nobody had ever touched me kindly so I feared it. Grace and Carrick respected my boundaries and they did their best for me, but they didn't really understand. I mean who could understand? They weren't there, they never experienced what I went through and as I grew up I became an angry young man. I was angry because nobody really understood. I had a revolving door of shrinks who didn't know how to help me, I was subjected to every type of therapy there was, but it didn't help, none of it helped. I was confused, I felt unworthy of this perfect family I was now in and I really wanted some sort of physical contact with them but I just couldn't bear to be touched. I longed for Grace to give me a hug to just hold me like she did Elliot and Mia but I just couldn't". He pauses again and I hold my breath willing him to continue.

"Then when I hit puberty I had to contend with the physical changes to my body and the raging hormones as I was then also a walking hard on. I was frustrated, I was angry, I was confused and I started lashing out. I started brawling just to get some sort of physical contact with people. I craved human contact but all I could tolerate was violence as it was all I knew. I was expelled from several schools for my behaviour and that was when Grace sent me to her friend Elena to help her out with some yard work. They had discovered I had also started drinking and they were just at their wits end with me. So I went to Elena's during the school holiday and that was where she seduced me and then introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle and it was the making of me Ana, it made my life come into focus, she sorted my shit out. She gave me an outlet for my anger and a way to receive human contact that I found acceptable and she taught me to fuck". He stops looking at me uncertainly, I feel sick and saddened that he believes so wholeheartedly that, that woman helped him but I try to not show it and I keep my mouth shut.

"How old were you when it started?" I ask as I realise he has just said he was still at school when she first got her claws into him.

"Fifteen" he replies. My mouth drops open, fifteen years old he was a minor and she took advantage of him. She is nothing but a dirty paedophile. I keep my thoughts to myself as he prepares to continue to speak, I don't want to stop him now he is talking.

"Elena made me sub for her, she didn't put up with my no touching. Christ some of the things she did to me". He pauses and shakes his head but he also has a smile on his face as he remembers. Then he looks at me and I must be showing my total shock and revulsion as the smile quickly fades.

"I'll spare you the details, anyway over time I decided that I wanted to become a Dom, so she trained me and I had a certain type of girl I went for, petite brown haired girls, they were who I went for, because... because…" he stops and stares at me, the fear is palpable and I realise this is it, this is what he is afraid of telling me.

I squeeze his hand encouragingly and after what seems like an eternity he lowers his head, he can't look me in the eye and eventually he continues barely whispering the words, "because they resembled my memory of my mother and I whipped them because I couldn't punish her for not protecting me, caring for me and... loving me" he stops.

I am shocked to the core by all that, Jesus Christ his issues are worse than I could have ever imagined. What he went through, tortured as a small helpless child only to fall into the hands of another predator in his teens. I try and process what he has just told me, but one thing is certain for me. I don't blame him and I know right now I am not going to leave him.

I blame that pimp for screwing up a small helpless child and then I blame Elena, whoever she is for completely fucking him up. I blame her totally for taking advantage of a confused and messed up kid, she abused a troubled damaged boy and fucked him up even more. I feel nothing but hatred and anger for her and nothing but compassion and love for Christian. I wonder briefly why Grace or Carrick never suspected after all Elena was supposedly their best friend, but then I guess predators hide their abuse and manipulate their victims into silence. I know that better than anyone.

I pull out of his hold and stand up as I process everything he has said and as I do this he gasps.

"No... No, please... don't go, please, don't leave me" he begs and he falls to his knees in front of me. It's pitiful to see such a strong powerful man in such a state and I react and fall to my knees in front of him and wrap my arms carefully around his neck.

"Christian look at me" I say firmly. He looks at me, his eyes clouded with fear and panic I press my hand to his face and as I do so he briefly closes his eyes and nuzzles into my touch. I hold him cupping his face so he is looking straight at me.

"Listen to me Christian, I'm not leaving you do you understand me. I am not leaving you" I pull him towards me and his arms go around me and hold me so tightly I can barely breathe.

"You're really staying?" he whispers.

I nod, "yes, you are not to blame for any of this. You were a small boy who was severely damaged by circumstances beyond your control, then when you were a teenager that woman took advantage of you and fucked you up even more," I feel him stiffen at my words.

"She helped me" he says firmly.

I look at him, "No she didn't Christian, if anything she made things worse" I reply.

I can see he won't accept this and he still sees this Elena woman as some kind of saviour, so I don't want to push him too far. The fact he has opened up and told me all this has floored me, I stroke his face.

"Christian, you are safe now and I am not leaving you, thank you for telling me" I say. I see all the fear and tension leave him and he smiles widely at me.

"Erm... can we get up off the floor now?" I ask trying to add a little humour and lightness to the situation.

Christian gracefully stands and helps me to my feet and leads me back over to the sofa, and looks at me carefully, "Quid pro quo Ana" he says, I nod at him and prepare to tell him my darkest secret.

**Songs****: **

**Coldplay - The Scientist**

**Bon Jovi – Love me Back to Life**

**John Denver – Annie's Song**

**Guns N' Roses - Patience**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Christian takes my hand and looks at me intently and it's my turn to feel fear now, but I said I would do this, I promised him if he told me his secrets I would tell him, and boy did he tell me! I suddenly feel another wave of nausea envelope me. I take a deep breath to calm myself down, I have been feeling a little off all day and I begin to wonder if I am coming down with something or if I have eaten something which has upset me. I bring my thoughts back under control and return the matter in hand.

I don't close my eyes as Christian did, but I look him straight in the face as I begin to talk.

"What I have been through is nothing, compared to your early life experiences, absolutely nothing. However, it had a profound effect on me and it will hopefully make you understand why I can never be your submissive".

Christian grips my hand and stokes my face, "Ana, that is a moot point as I don't want you as my submissive anymore. I want you as my girlfriend and my lover". I watch him as he lifts my hand to his mouth and presses a small sweet kiss on my knuckles.

I nod, "I know that, but I'm just saying" I say and then inwardly cringe at how lame that sounded. I take a deep breath and start my story.

"You remember you asked me about why I left Texas and went to live with Ray instead of staying with my mother?" I begin, and Christian nods but doesn't say a word.

"Well, there was more to it than the fact husband number 3 and I didn't get along… much more". I stop and I feel Christian's grip get tighter on my hand. I swallow instinctively as the memories of that time start to fill my mind.

"He… I never liked him, I always felt there was something about him which wasn't… right. Don't get me wrong he was nice to begin with he was very nice but that was the problem, he was a little too nice, if you get what I mean. He turned on the charm and turned my mom's head and he promised her things, he promised her the earth. It all sounded so exciting and so of course my mom fell for it, I was always cynical, as everything he said just seemed too good to be true, but mom ate it up and believed every word. Stephen was the polar opposite to Ray. Ray is sensible and stoic and he likes the quiet life, I think he bored mom. Along came Stephen and he seemed to be everything Ray wasn't, so she didn't even have to think about it, she left Ray in a heartbeat and took up with Stephen and didn't look back" I pause as I shake my head sadly.

"When he decided that he wanted to move to Texas she agreed immediately, and that's when things started to unravel. First of all he wasn't pleased that I was tagging along. He thought I would stay with Ray, but my mom insisted. That was when the emotional abuse started, he… he didn't want me there being the third wheel so he started saying things to me, I think it was in the hope that I would ask my mom if I could stay with Ray but it had the opposite effect. I saw his true colours and felt I had to go, to take care of mom". I feel Christian squeeze my hand and he smiles at me encouragingly.

"He started making nasty comments always putting me down, telling me that I was fat and ugly and nobody would ever want me. He verbally abused me at any opportunity and it was so sustained and intense that I started to believe it. That escalated and he tried to dominate me, he started to push me around. He treated me like a slave, telling me that was all I was good for; he kept chipping away at me and my confidence. I tried to stand up to him at first, but when did, that was when he hit me. He punched me in the face and he sent me flying across the room and he kicked me in the ribs, and he broke a few". I pause as I feel Christian stiffen significantly at this, I look at him carefully and see the anger starting to build even though he is trying to remain calm.

"Go on baby," he says hoarsely.

"Then he would always come and apologise a couple of hours or so later saying he hadn't meant to do it, but he always told me that it was my fault, and that I had provoked him and we should keep it between us, as my mom didn't need to know that I had caused trouble. I agreed as I didn't want to worry my mom and I began to believe that it was my fault, but after that things got steadily worse. He lost his job, and started drinking heavily". I pause again and I start feeling sick again as I remember the next part of my story.

"One day my mom was at work and it was just us in the house, he came to my room where I was doing my homework, he was drunk and he... touched me. He grabbed me and shoved his hand down my top, I pushed him away and he hit me. He grabbed me by the hair and pushed me on the bed and he was going to rape me. He got as far as pinning me to the bed, ripping off my panties and unzipping his trousers but thankfully my mom came home and so he stopped. I have never been so thankful for my mom coming home as I was that day. The very next day, I bought a lock for my bedroom door".

Christian pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly at that, I shift slightly and the next thing I realise I am in his lap.

"Anyway this carried on for about another 2-3 months, he'd try it on when my mom was at work, but I always managed to get away, it was by more luck than judgement and that is the reason I was still a virgin when you met me. I didn't want a physical relationship with any man... until I met you. As I have already said, he emotionally abused me as well he said I should be thankful that he wanted to fuck me as I was too ugly and fat and repulsive for anyone else to want me. Then one time… one time he was drunk and he managed to corner me but he was so blind drunk he couldn't get an erection. He said he couldn't get it up to fuck me, because I was so repulsive and so instead he held me down and he rammed his… he pushed… in my mouth". I close my eyes, as the memory of that day overwhelms me, Christian doesn't hesitate, he holds me and rocks me offering me support and love.

"Sshh baby, you are safe, no-one will ever hurt you again" Christian whispers.

I stop and as I look up and see Christian frowning. I realise I know why, so I continue, "I know I said I had never given oral sex before, when you asked me and that's because in my mind I hadn't, because I didn't do it willingly. I did it willingly with you so in my mind you were my first and besides, before I didn't do anything he basically held me down and fucked my mouth. After that, I knew I had to get away. I called Ray and told him about the violence and I said he had tried to touch me, but I didn't tell him about the other sexual abuse, because I knew if I did Ray would be on the first plane out to Texas with his gun and he would kill him. As it was it took me an age to calm him down and you know Ray he doesn't generally get angry".

"Oh baby" Christian says quietly.

"So, things happened quickly after that, Ray called my mom and laid into her about what I had said, and my mom came to me and asked me and I admitted what had happened. She tried to deny it at first asked me why I would say such a thing, that Stephen wouldn't do anything like that, I cried because she didn't believe me and she said it would probably be best if I went back to Ray. She gave me all the money she had to send me back to Ray, and I left that night as I couldn't bear to stay that house a moment longer, I left with as much as I could carry and the clothes on my back. Ray had booked me a ticket and he was waiting for me when the plane landed". I pause and I see rage coming off of Christian in waves, I grip his arms and he focuses his gaze on me.

"You are the first person I have ever told, about _all_ the details of the sexual abuse. As I say, Ray knows _some_ sexual abuse took place, but all he knows is that Morton tried to touch me but that is all, I couldn't tell him the details because he would have hunted him down and killed him and I didn't want Ray to get into trouble because of him. Plus I needed my daddy at that point so I didn't tell him the full extent of what was actually done to me. To this day he thinks Stephen just tried to grope me and that nearly killed him. Nobody else knows exactly what happened, not my mom, not Ray, nobody and I want to keep it that way". I stop and look meaningfully at Christian.

I watch him think about that and then he nods at me, he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly.

"Do you know where Morton is now?" he asks with an icy calm tone.

I shake my head, but I am guessing Christian will know by morning where Stephen Morton is. I look up into Christians face, "Please don't do anything, its ancient history and will upset a lot of people, if you start digging things up, just leave it, please, promise me" I say.

He stares at me not saying or doing anything then suddenly he nods once, "alright" he says tightly, I let go of the breath I didn't realise I was holding and snuggle closer to him.

"How did you cope with your mother not believing you and picking him over you?" he asks.

I shrug, "She soon realised that I was telling the truth after I left he started showing his true colours towards her. Up to that point he hadn't touched her and he had used me to verbally, physically and sexually abuse, but when I wasn't there to provide that buffer he started on her. When she got away from him she called us and she apologised and begged for my forgiveness, I gave it to her and it was not long after that she moved to Vegas and met Bob, they married and moved to Georgia with Bob's job".

There is a silence for a few moments and then Christian speaks.

"Stay with me," he says suddenly, I move and look up at him, "Stay the night with me" he says.

I shake my head, "I can't, I have a pile of manuscripts at home that I have to read tonight and make notes on" I say sadly.

Christian frowns questioningly at me and so I quickly explain.

"Jack has been fired because of what happened in New York and they have given me his job to baby-sit until they can find someone else to take over. Apparently I have proved myself and Mr Roach thinks I am up to it, so I don't want to let him down".

I watch for Christian's reaction to this, I need to know if he will tell me voluntarily that he has bought SIP.

"I see" he says and then smiles "well congratulations baby, I'm sure you will do well" but he doesn't say anything else.

"So I have to go," I say and I stand up and feel a little dizzy, I grasp Christians arm. As my head clears Christian stands with me and pulls me to him.

"Are you alright Ana?" he asks.

I nod, that's the second time today I have had a dizzy bout but I don't say anything. Christian looks at me and smiles "Ok, I will see you tomorrow then" he says.

"Ok" I agree and he holds me close and kisses me soundly. As he walks me to my car, my phone rings, and I rummage to answer it and I smile as I see Gideon's name on the screen.

"Hi Gideon" I say as I answer, and I feel Christian tighten his grip on me.

"Ana how are you?" he asks.

"I'm good, how are you, are you safely back in New York now?" I ask.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. I'm fine and yes I am back in New York, unfortunately. Ana, I'm calling you to give you a heads up, you should receive a package tomorrow it is being sent to you at SIP and it will be from me, I just wanted to let you know it was coming, also I will be back in Seattle early next week and I would like to take you up on your dinner invitation if I may?" he says.

"Ok, thanks for letting me know, and yes I would love to, I'll invite Christian and you two can talk business, does that sound good to you?" I ask.

There is a brief silence before Gideon responds and when he does it's with a cold stiffness, "Why would you invite Christian Grey?" he asks.

I feel a cold shiver run through me at the tone of his voice, "Erm... because we have talked things through and we are going to try again and make a go of having a relationship" I say nervously.

"I see, so the moment I leave Seattle you are back in his arms?" he says coldly.

I feel anger rising, "Hey, now just hang on one minute. I thought we were friends? Just because I am with Christian doesn't mean we still can't be friends and just because you are my friend doesn't give you the right to dictate who I have a relationship with".

There is a another long silence but eventually Gideon speak and this time his voice is full of apology, "Yes, you are completely right, I'm sorry Ana, I just…"

"Just what?" I ask.

There is another silence, "I was just hoping for more" he mutters.

My heart sinks, "Oh Gideon, I'm sorry I had no idea, I thought we were friends" I gasp.

Gideon quickly reassures me, "we are Ana, I'm sorry and it was completely my mistake, and I am your friend and always will be" he says earnestly.

"Ok then" I say, "let me know when you are in Seattle and we can arrange something," I add.

"I will, Goodnight Ana" and with that he is gone, I push my phone into my purse and look up at Christian who is now glaring at me.

"What?" I say, but I have a good idea what his problem is.

"Why are you arranging to meet up with Gideon Cross?" he spits.

"Because he is my friend" I say, in the tone of voice a parent uses to explain something to a child.

This seems to anger Christian even more, "If you think you seeing Gideon Cross you have another think coming, I won't allow it, you are mine" he splutters.

My eyebrows raise, and put my hands on my hips, "Firstly, if I want to see Gideon I will, because he is my friend. I invited him to my apartment to cook for him, I promised him a home-cooked meal and I intend to follow through with that. Secondly I am not _yours_, as I just explained to Gideon, he cannot dictate who I have a relationship with and the same goes for you. You cannot dictate who my friends are, so stop it right now and get over it. I have male friends, Jose is my friend and so is Gideon and you do not have the right to stop me from seeing either of them, do you understand?" I say and I wait for Christian's response.

"No I won't allow it, they want you" Christian says through gritted teeth.

I pause, I'm glad Christian hadn't heard what Gideon had said but I put that out of my mind as I shake my head at him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Christian. Gideon is my friend and that is all, Jose is my friend and that is all, I don't see either of them as any more than that, and just one more thing, you won't allow it? Well here's a newsflash for you, I won't allow it. I will see my friends whenever I wish. I don't say anything about that damn woman you consider as a friend, but who is nothing more than a dirty Paedophile".

"This isn't about Elena" Christian says through gritted teeth and his eyes flashing dangerously.

"No, you're right it's not, because even though I can't believe that you can't see that she abused you, and I would be absolutely delighted if you never saw her again and believe me my reasons are far more valid than your paranoia regarding my friends, I don't have the right to demand that or make you do that; just as you don't have the right to choose my friends".

With that I turn and climb into my car and leave, as I pull out of Escala car park I look in my rear view mirror and see Christian standing there his fists clenched and his mouth hanging open. I shake my head. My guess is he has never had anyone tell him no before, and he doesn't know what to do.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I wake up and once again feel a little dizzy and I also feel a little nauseous but it soon passes and I head off to work.

Later on that day just as Gideon told me, a package arrives at SIP addressed to me. I open it and gasp as I see a box containing a top of the range latest Iphone, I pick up the enclosed card.

_Ana_

_Please accept this phone, I have programmed in my home, office and cell phone numbers. I expect you to take full advantage of them._

_I look forward to seeing you again soon._

_Gideon x_

I read and re-read it. I find the paperwork inside the box and discover that the first year of the contract has been paid. I pickup the phone and look at it suspiciously, Kate has one of these and has always raved about it.

I will admit I have coveted them, but could not justify the cost, when I had a phone that worked perfectly well for what I needed. I switch it on and make my first call, not to Christian but to Gideon, I call his cell phone and he answers almost immediately.

"Ana" he says.

"Hi, erm... I have received the phone, thank you, but I really can't…" I am stopped in mid sentence by Gideon who cuts me off.

"No, you can accept it, and you will accept it, it has no strings attached, it is simply a gift from one friend to another, so enjoy it" he says firmly.

"Ok thank you" I say, I'm not sure why I so willingly accepted this when I fought against everything Christian did.

"How are you? Are you alright?" I ask nervously, before he can answer I continue, "I really would like to remain friends with you Gideon, you are a good man" I say.

"Thank you Ana and I would like to remain friends with you as well. I apologise for my childish behaviour last night and my misunderstanding of our relationship. Tell me is Christian ok with our friendship?" he asks.

There is a silence as I pick my words carefully, "He will have to be alright with it, I told him the same as I told you, nobody has the right to dictate to me who I can and cannot be friends with" I say.

I hear a small chuckle, "You are a remarkable woman Ana," Gideon says.

"Well thank you" I say, although I am slightly embarrassed by that. "Look I'll let you go" I add realising he must be busy, "thank you once again for the phone and I'll see you soon" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he says, "Goodbye for now Ana, and I'll call you when I land in Seattle" he adds before he kills the call.

I transfer all my numbers from my old phone into my new one and send a quick group text to everyone letting them know my new number. Almost immediately I receive a call from Christian.

"Why do you have a new phone number?" he asks sharply.

"Because I have a new phone" I say immediately on alert at the accusatory tone.

"I see what about the phone I bought you?" he says.

I roll my eyes. I had forgotten about the Blackberry he had given me but which I returned when we broke up. I feel awkward now knowing I have accepted a phone from Gideon after returning one to Christian and he is supposed to be my boyfriend.

"I'd forgotten about that, but I returned it to you when we broke up, is that all?" I ask, but I realise I will have to explain and tell him where this phone came from.

I hear a sigh, "I'm sorry Ana... for last night, I know that I behaved badly, I just I get so jealous you have no idea how beautiful and lovely you are, you have all these men chasing you and I don't want to lose you" he says.

I nearly laugh out loud at his comment that I have a trail of men who want me, but I just roll my eyes and shake my head instead and then I take a deep breath, "Christian the only way you are going to lose me is by behaving like you did last night" I say and immediately regret the harshness of my tone. "But I accept your apology" I add trying to lighten the atmosphere between us.

"Can I see you tonight?" he asks hopefully.

"Of course you can, why don't you come over and I'll cook you something" I say as I realise that would be the perfect opportunity to tell him about the phone.

"I'd love to, what time?" he replies eagerly.

"Say sevenish?" I offer.

"See you then" he says and with that we say our goodbyes and I kill the call.

**oooOOOooo**

At 6:50 the buzzer of the intercom sounds and I answer to hear Christian announcing his arrival, I buzz him up and moments later he is standing in my doorway holding a bottle of wine. I smile shyly at him and he hands me the bottle and kisses me softly on my cheek. I gesture to the sofa and he sits down, looking around. I excuse myself and wander into the kitchen to finish preparing our meal when I hear Christian behind me.

"What the fuck is this?" he says.

I turn to see him holding the card which Gideon sent me with the phone and I am immediately pissed. I had left it so I could show it to Christian and explain it, but he had gone rummaging into the phone box and found it for himself.

"It's a card" I say facetiously, as he goes to retort back at me I raise my hand to stop him. "It is a card which was in a closed box, which does not belong to you. It is a card which I was going to show you later when I told you that my new phone was a gift from Gideon, but as you have been snooping in my private things and finding out information for yourself without my consent - again, now you know".

I glare at him and he has the grace to look uncomfortable, but his anger soon overrides that.

"I don't like this" he growls, waving the card at me.

"Well, tough shit, get over it" I retort rudely. "How many times do we have to go through this Christian? Gideon is my friend and that is all, he is my friend".

"He wants you" Christian mutters.

I slam down the knife and turn to face him, "What if he does? I chose you Christian, you are the man I love, I want more with you - not Gideon. He knows that he is just a friend to me and he accepts that, it's just you who can't seem to. Now I am going to say this once more and you really need to get a grip about this, Gideon is my friend, and as my friend he did a nice thing and he bought me a new phone, I didn't ask him to and he sent it to me, end of story".

I point at the card he is still clutching in his hand, "that is the card he enclosed with it, letting me know who it was from and that he had put his numbers into the phone, that's all. It doesn't mean I am going to leave you and run off with Gideon, it is just a fucking phone now get over it and stop acting like a Neanderthal".

I step forward and snatch the card from his hand, and march past him into the living room. Leaving him just standing there rigid, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide at my outburst. A moment later I hear him follow me into the living room.

"Have you made use of the numbers he gave you?" Christian throws sarcastically at me.

"Yes I have" I almost shout back at him.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I force myself not to cry and I can actually see how this might look to him especially when I had given him back the phone he had bought me. But then again we had broken up and I had no idea Gideon was going to do this.

"I called him today using the cell phone he bought me to call his cell phone number to let him know it had arrived, to thank him and tell him I couldn't accept it as it was too much. He insisted that it was just a gift from one friend to another with no strings attached and that I had no reason not to accept it. Then he told me he was sorry for his childish behaviour last night - you know, the same sort of childish behaviour that you also exhibited and are still doing right now, and he said that he wanted to be friends with me and that he would call me when he flies out to Seattle. I said ok and then I hung up, ok satisfied?" I stop and wait for some response, I look at Christian questioningly and I am breathing heavily.

I watch as he puts his head down, he has no idea what to say to me and it dawns on me that he really has no idea how a relationship works. It takes all the remaining fight out of me in a rush.

"Christian, you have to stop being so jealous, you are driving me away with your insane out of control paranoid jealousy, I can't stand it" I say a little more calmly trying for civility.

Christian stands with his arms folded, and his vulnerability vanishes behind his impenetrable impassive mask and my heart sinks as I see it.

"I don't like it, he wants you" he mutters petulantly.

I shake my head, "Just stop" I say and turn and leave him standing there I need to get away from him as I go into the kitchen I wonder if I have done the right thing, he has such deep engrained issues which I know are not his fault but can I really be what he needs? I am exhausted and he has only been here five minutes. The now familiar wave of nausea washes over me again, what the hell is wrong with me?

I hear voices in the other room and as I walk in I see Kate and Elliot talking to Christian, Elliot has his hand on Christian's arm and he is talking to him, and Kate is glaring at him, much like I was earlier.

"Hi guys!" I call cheerily as I walk in. Kate smiles at me and then Elliot turns giving me a huge grin and strides towards me enveloping me with his strong arms and spinning me around.

"Hi Ana, how are you?" he asks.

I am laughing and slapping him, "Put me down you big goon" I say.

As soon as Elliot lets me go Christian pulls me to his side and glares at his brother, "Take your hands off of her and don't you let me ever see you do that again" Christian growls at him.

I yank my arm free, "Jeez Christian, get a grip, just stop it or leave now" I say "I've had enough of this and I'm not having it anymore".

I walk to Elliot and place my hand on his arm, "Christian this is your brother" I walk over to Kate, "this is my best friend and guess what, she is your brothers girlfriend, so think carefully does that mean a) he loves her b) he is only being friendly towards me c) he not trying to piss you off or d) all of the above" I say, my words dripping with sarcasm.

I see Elliot's mouth drop open and Kate turns away trying to hide her smile. Christian just stares sulkily at me and says nothing, which just serves to make me even angrier.

"Look I can't deal with this, just go" I say pointing at the door.

"Ana please" Christian begins, fear now appearing in his eyes.

"No, I've told you I won't put up with paranoid groundless jealousy, and you are severely pissing me off with your irrational behaviour, so just go!"

I walk to the door and hold it open. Christian takes a look at Elliot and turns and leaves without a word. I slam the door behind him and throw myself on to the sofa and let out a harsh sigh.

"Go easy on him, he really loves you Ana. I've never seen him like this before" Elliot says quietly.

I look up, "Well he has a funny way of showing it" I snap.

I pull myself together and in a softer voice I ask if Elliot and Kate are staying for something to eat, as now I have sent Christian packing there will be too much for me, they both agree to stay for a while and eat with me.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

I'm not surprised that I don't hear from Christian again for the rest of the week. I know he is sulking about what I said to him and so I leave him to it, as I don't have time for his behaviour. I have more concerning things on my mind. For the past few days I have been feeling distinctly unwell, dizzy, and feeling sick in the mornings and at odd times during the day, and then this morning I was actually sick for the first time.

I am trying to remain calm, but my mind is jumping to all sorts of conclusions and none of them are good, the main one and most obvious one being that I am pregnant. I try and take comfort in the fact that I was on the pill and Christian always used condoms at other times, and I haven't been with anyone else, but there is still that element of doubt magnified by the fact the way I am feeling are classic symptoms of early pregnancy, and so I need to be sure and to do that I need to rule out the most obvious cause of my symptoms first.

I try and tell myself that it can't be pregnancy and it _must_ be something else, until I check my calendar and the evidence just increases that I am indeed pregnant, as one look at it signifies that my period is late, very late and as I count the days of just how late I am, an increasing icy cold feeling of dread fills me. That revelation means that the first thing Saturday morning I am heading to the pharmacy and I buy 5 different pregnancy tests. I lock myself in the bathroom at home and I use them all, laying them all out on a piece of toilet paper. The wait is excruciating, eventually the allotted time passes and I gingerly glance at the tests, and I feel my legs turn to jelly as I look at them, positive, all five of them, holy shit. I lose my grip on the sink and as my legs give way I slide to the floor and cry, and that is where Kate finds me a couple of minutes later.

"Ana open the door, what's wrong, I can hear you crying?" I hear Kate knocking and I open the door and she stares at me, and then at the tests lined up on the sink, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open in shock.

"Oh my god Ana, you're pregnant" she gasps, I start crying again and she pulls me into a hug.

"Is it Christian's?" she asks, and I nod against her shoulder and she holds me tighter. This is the last thing I need. I have a job I love, I am doing well and establishing a career and I dread to think what Christian's reaction will be. I don't even know if we are still a couple, plus the fact I am nowhere near ready to be a mother.

As Kate consoles me there is a knock at the door, I look at Kate questioningly and she shrugs, she lets go of me and goes to answer it, I follow her and nearly fall over again when she opens the door and Gideon is standing there. He takes one look at my dishevelled state with my puffy eyes from crying and he heads straight for me.

"What did he do to you?" he growls.

I burst into tears again and he wraps his arms around me holding me tightly.

"How the hell did you get up here?" Kate asks bluntly and slightly confrontationally.

Gideon turns and smiles amiably, "You must be Kate" he says as he holds out his hand to her. Kate nods and accepts the hand he is holding out towards her.

"I'm Gideon Cross, Ana's friend from New York" he says.

"I know exactly who you are, I'm a fucking journalist but what I don't know is how you got up here?" Kate says rudely.

"Kate" I say, but Gideon smiles.

"One of your neighbours was on their way out and I caught the door downstairs before it closed, I'm sorry I really should have buzzed to let you know I was here but I have come straight from the airport, and I wanted to surprise Ana" he says.

Kate smiles at him now and Gideon returns his attention back to me and strokes my hair gently.

"What's happened?" he asks me gently.

Before I can answer the intercom buzzes and Kate answers it she looks at me and I know immediately it is Christian.

"It's Christian, and he wants to see you" she says, as she covers the receiver with her hand.

I nod, "Buzz him up, and let's get it over with" I say in a resigned tone, Gideon frowns and looks at me questioningly.

Kate buzzes him up and an ominous silence descends.

"Ana are you going to tell me what's happening?" Gideon asks.

I go to reply, when I hear Christian at the door. Kate opens it and when he walks in, he freezes and looks at Gideon with open hostility. Kate looks at me waiting for some indication of what I want her to do and Gideon just looks totally bewildered.

I quickly assess the situation and look at Kate pulling myself together, "Kate, could you take Gideon into the kitchen and make him a drink, he has only just arrived in Seattle and come here straight from the airport, so he must be thirsty and probably hungry as well".

I look up at Gideon pleading with my eyes for him to follow Kate, he nods and before he releases me he whispers in my ear.

"Ok, but you are going to explain everything to me and if you need me, just shout" he says.

"I will, I promise, and thank you" I reply, he kisses my forehead and I hear a growl come from Christian.

I push Gideon away and I turn to Christian, with my hand up to stop the tirade which I know is going to happen, before it starts.

"Before you over react, I didn't know he was coming today. He just turned up moments before you did, but I'm glad you are here because we really need to talk" I say trying to sound braver than I actually feel.

Christian nods but says nothing, but now he is looking at me with concern, it is obvious I have been crying and Christian has now noticed this fact.

"You've been crying" he states as he takes a step closer to me.

I nod, "yes, I… I…" I stop and shake my head.

I have no idea what to say, I wonder how I am going to break this news to him, in the end I decide to just show him, so I take a deep breath and I just grasp his hand and lead him into the bathroom, once inside I simply point to the five pregnancy tests on the sink. He looks at them and I watch as he realises what they mean and all colour drains from his face.

"You're pregnant?!" he gasps eventually.

I nod, wondering what he will say next, but what he does say wasn't what I was expecting.

"Whose is it?" he spits.

I stare at him incredulously, "Yours! You are the only man I have ever slept with Christian" I say defensively.

He snorts at me, and starts to pace the room running his hands through his hair, "FUCK ANA YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, WHEN HE IS IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU WHEN I ARRIVE" he bellows, waving his hand in the air.

"It's true" I say, tears starting to fall again, "Please Christian" I beg, I reach out and touch his arm, but yanks it out of my reach.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, SHIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS WHAT THE FUCK…" he doesn't get any further as the door flies open and Gideon steps inside he sees the tests and takes in the situation quickly.

"Are you ok Ana?" he asks gently.

I turn towards Gideon shaking my head, the tears are streaming down my face and he doesn't hesitate, he reaches for me and pulls me into his arms, which just makes Christian angrier.

"No, I'm not ok, I have just discovered I am pregnant, I found out seconds before you arrived and the father of my baby is doubting it is even his, when he is the only person I have ever slept with," I am almost hysterical now and Gideon holds me tighter and tries to offer me some comfort.

As he holds me, Gideon looks at Christian in disgust as he snorts derisively at me and shakes his head.

"For fucks sake man, grow up!" he spits at Christian sharply, "She's telling you the truth, I haven't slept with her, if that is what you are thinking, she looks on me only as a friend," he snaps, he pulls me even closer, wrapping his arms protectively around me and drawing me close to his chest, whilst still glaring at Christian.

"Think about it Grey, there is no way the baby can be mine, I didn't even know her let alone sleep with her when she conceived" Gideon states.

Christian pauses and appears to consider this but he is also having a complete meltdown, and rational thinking isn't taking priority at this moment. He is pacing and grabbing at his hair, and then suddenly he stops and glares at Gideon and at me.

"OH FUCK THIS!" he shouts suddenly and turns and walks out slamming the door. I feel my legs give way and the only thing stopping me from falling to the ground is Gideon's arms around me. He picks me up and carries me to the sofa, and sits beside me holding me close and rocking me gently as I sob.

When I am little calmer I turn to Gideon, "I'm sorry you got involved in this mess" I say quietly.

He shakes his head and pulls me closer. "No not at all, don't apologise, it's a damn good job I am here, the way he behaved, is he always this childish?" Gideon says harshly.

I shake my head. I know exactly what the problem is, he is scared. The fear in his eyes was heartbreaking, but what he fails to realise is I am just as scared as he is at this moment, "he's scared, and he always behaves like that when he's scared," I say simply.

"What about you? This is news to you too, yet you are not throwing your hands in the air and having a tantrum. Don't defend him Ana, Grey is what 27, 28? You are 21 years old, you have just finished college and you discover you are pregnant, I'm pretty sure that was not on your immediate to do list, and I'm also guessing you are more than terrified at the prospect of motherhood and yet you are not behaving like an adolescent," Gideon huffs.

"I'm bloody terrified" I whisper and I rest my head against Gideon.

Gideon holds me tighter, "What do you plan to do? Have you thought that far?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I only found out a few minutes before you arrived, so I am still in shock. I have no idea" I say. I look up and see Kate standing at the door looking rather guilty.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Ana don't be mad at me, but I couldn't stand by and do nothing, I heard everything, so I called Elliot and told him what happened and he has gone looking for Christian... and... and I may have also called Grace, and she is on her way over… now," Kate says awkwardly.

I groan and put my head in my hands as this is the last thing I need, "Who is Grace?" Gideon asks me.

I look up at Gideon, "Grace is Christians mother, she is a doctor" I explain.

"Good" he replies, "when she gets here you can tell her what an asshole her son is being," he spits.

About 20 minutes later the intercom buzzes and Kate answers and moments later Grace is in the room. She makes a bee line for me with her arms wide open, I stand and she grabs me holding me tightly, this provokes a fresh flow of tears.

"Ana darling don't cry, this must be so distressing for you but don't get yourself upset" Grace says kindly.

"That's easy for you to say, you didn't see the way your son treated her when she told him, he accused her of sleeping with me and he said he doesn't believe the child is his, then he swore and shouted at her and stormed out" Gideon says bluntly.

"Gideon please," I whisper, "It's not Grace's fault" I add.

"No Ana, he's right" Grace sighs, "Christian is scared and when he gets scared he lashes out, but he shouldn't have behaved like that, we didn't raise him to behave like that and I don't condone it at all".

Grace sits and her calming gentle personality makes me feel better and I start to see things clearly, the initial shock and the blind panic starts to recede and common sense and rational thought begin to take over.

"I won't get rid of it" I say to nobody in particular, I wrap my arm protectively around my stomach, "its not the baby's fault and I know it will be hard but if Christian doesn't want to be involved then I'll do it alone" I say firmly.

"You won't be alone sweetheart, this is our first grandchild so you will have mine and Cary's support all the way" Grace says kindly, Kate sits down beside me looking at her phone.

"You have me too" Kate says and pats my hand. Gideon pulls me closer to him but remains silent, but his gesture signified to me that he was silently offering me his support.

"Elliot has found Christian" Kate says suddenly, "He was talking to someone in a cafe near the Bravern Centre; Elliot says he's with Elena Lincoln".

I feel pain like a knife shoot through me at the mention of that woman, Gideon notices I have stiffened and that am clearly distressed by this news.

"Why on earth is he with Elena?" Grace says in confusion.

Kate shrugs, "She's a family friend isn't she? He probably just ran into her after he left here and stopped to talk to her" she offers.

I know better than that, but I keep my mouth shut but the feeling of hurt that he would sooner turn to a woman who abused him for years than sit and talk to me is killing me inside.

Eventually Grace leaves after giving me the name of a doctor at the hospital who will see me, and she assures me that I am not to worry about the cost of the consultation. Dr Green is the name on the piece of paper, and I remember she was the doctor who Christian called upon to see me about the contraception. Grace tells me if I need anything at all, I am to call her immediately. I thank her and hug her before she goes. She smiles at Gideon and shakes his hand and he apologises for his comments when she first arrived which Grace waves off. When Grace leaves, Kate leaves with her and goes to meet up with Elliot and I am certain she is also going to give Christian a piece of her mind, as the door of the apartment closes I am left alone with Gideon.

"Nice lady" he says.

"Who? Grace?" I ask.

Gideon nods, "why did you get upset when Kate said Grey was with that woman?" he asks.

"She's a friend of his and I just don't like her" I say. I smile at what I have just said and the irony of it after my reaction to Christian's jealous outburst. Gideon also acknowledges what I have just said with raised eyebrows.

"Yes I know it's hypocritical after what I said, but she is a different case entirely, trust me on that one" I say.

"Why?" he asks.

I look up at him and shake my head, "please don't ask me any more about her, because I can't tell you".

Gideon nods, I feel safe in his arms, he is holding me and gently stroking my hair. "Ana, you know I will be there for you as well don't you" he says.

"Thank you, you're a good friend" I say and pat his knee.

We sit in a comfortable silence which is broken when Gideon suddenly speaks.

"Ana" he says.

"Hmm" I respond.

"Come with me, back to New York" he says.

I turn and gape at him not sure I have heard him right; "You want me to uproot and move to New York?" I ask.

"Yes I do" He says emphatically.

I stare incredulously at him not quite believing what I am hearing. He stares back earnestly at me, those blue eyes boring into mine, then he grabs my hand and holding it tightly he begins to speak.

"Ana, I make no lie of the fact I want to be more than friends with you, and I have the resources to take care of you and the baby. I have looked into what you do at SIP and they speak very highly of you, you are a highly intelligent woman and I could offer you something comparable if not better at Cross Publishing. I have two fiction editors coming up for retirement in the next six months, you think SIP is your dream job, I guarantee that if you took a position at Cross Publishing you would never think of SIP again. I can offer you opportunities to progress beyond your wildest dreams and I will support you in your ambitions, plus your salary would be double what you get at SIP and with a baby to support… well…" He shrugs and looks at me carefully.

I have no idea what to say about that, and the confusion must be evident as he smiles at me and then runs his fingers down my cheek.

"I can't get you out of my mind Ana, you are constantly in my thoughts, and I need you in my life" he says.

I pull my hand out of his grip and sigh "Gideon, don't be ridiculous, we have only just met we…" he places his finger on my lips and shakes his head.

"And yet I feel as though I have known you all my life, you have no idea of the profound impact you have had on me" he says earnestly.

I shake my head, "I can't uproot and leave the North West, my friends and my father all live on the West Coast. I would be a whole continent away from them, I don't want to jump into a relationship with another man, you are a friend, a very good friend but a friend nonetheless and that's all".

"Ana, You forget I have a fleet of six aircraft which would be at your disposal whenever you wanted to visit your family and friends or have them visit you, I don't want to isolate you from your friends and family, and I can live with just being your friend. I understand your reluctance to jump into another relationship and despite what I have said, even I understand that all this is happening very quickly and suddenly and it must be really overwhelming for you to take it all in".

"But the baby?" I begin.

Gideon shakes his head, "Ana you have me thinking of a life which I thought I could never have, but that is a story for another time, but you make me realise that I want my own family, I want to belong to someone " the way he says this sounds so sad, almost as though he feels he has no place in the world.

"You'd really take on another mans child? That sounds a hell of a lot more than friendship" I ask nervously.

"Yes I would, and I can be just your friend and still take care of you and help you take care of the baby" he says firmly.

"Gideon that is unbelievably kind of you, but I don't want to take advantage of your kindness, I can't offer you anything other than friendship. We are friends and that is all and I don't want to lead you on into thinking you have a chance of anything more, because that wouldn't be fair to you, and not only that I don't know what is happening with Christian, he needs time to come to terms with this and I love him so I will give him the time he needs. Having said that, it is a very generous offer regarding the job and if Christian doesn't come round I have to consider my future and do what is best for my child, will you give me time to consider it and think things through, everything is happening so fast and I have so much to process, and I really don't want you to think I am using you, or leading you on" I ask.

Gideon smiles and pulls me close, "Of course you can, I'm sorry to add to the things you need to think about, but after Grey's little performance it just seemed like the right thing to do and the right time to bring it up and I totally understand, just friends. I would never think you were using me, how about you come to New York and take the job and that's all, I'll be there for you to support you as a friend, but you just come for the enhancement of your career in publishing, no strings?" He looks carefully at me and I consider that.

"I'd never deny Christian the chance to see his child" I say firmly, and Gideon nods.

"I know, you are a wonderful warm and loving person and you don't have a nasty bone in your body, but Grey has the resources to be able to see his child if he want to, but you shouldn't give up your dreams and ambitions just to make life easier for him and if you stay here I can foresee that happening. At present you are an intern, you are on the bottom rung of the ladder I am offering you a secure well paid job as an editor. I'm not trying to manipulate you, I am just letting you know that I can offer you an alternative, a more attractive alternative to what you currently have" he says.

I nod, I know I am only babysitting Jack's job until someone else can be hired so he is right and I do have to consider my baby and having a good well paid job will help enormously.

"There is Grace and Carrick to consider as well, this baby will be their grandchild" I say. Gideon nods again.

"Not a problem, remember the planes I have and don't forget Grey has his own plane, surely if his own mother wanted to see her grandchild he would help to facilitate that even if he doesn't want to be involved himself" he says firmly.

"Ok give me a bit of time to think about it" I say. Gideon smiles; he pushes the hair from my face and kisses me sweetly on the lips.

"That's all I ask" he says quietly.

Gideon and I spend a wonderful day together, just hanging out. It's something I would never do with Christian, he loathes television and I have never just done nothing with him, but this is exactly what I am doing at this moment with Gideon. We have popcorn, soda and chips spread out in front of us and we are watching a DVD, it's an old one of Kate's which I love, 'When Harry Met Sally', Gideon points out the parts of New York featured in the film. When the film ends I make a light lunch for us and he compliments my sub making skills and I giggle at his enthusiasm.

"It's only a sub" I say.

He shakes his head, "Seriously Ana this is the best sub I have ever tasted, I have never had anything like this, ever" he says.

"Would you like to stay for dinner this evening?" I ask.

He nods "If this is a taste of your food preparation skills I am definitely staying for dinner" he says.

After lunch we head out and wander around the market area where I pick up some ingredients for dinner, I can't believe how relaxed and comfortable Gideon is, just doing mundane every day things. I realise I am comparing him to Christian again, but I just can't picture Christian doing what we are doing. As we are heading back to the apartment I hear someone call my name.

"Miss Steele" I turn and see Taylor walking quickly towards me a grim expression on his face. Gideon wraps a protective arm around me.

"Hi Taylor," I say with a smile, I turn to Gideon. "Gideon this is Jason Taylor, he is head of Christian's personal security team, Taylor this is my friend Gideon Cross from New York" Gideon holds his hand out politely and Taylor takes it, he nods his head curtly before turning to me.

"Miss Steele, Mr Grey has asked that you accompany me to Escala, he wants to talk to you" he says in an almost apologetic tone.

I sigh and shake my head, this is so like Christian and how the hell did Taylor find me? "So Christian Grey demands and everyone has to jump" I say sarcastically.

I see a reluctant smile play on Taylor's lips, but he doesn't say anything. I sigh again, "I'm sorry you are caught in the middle of this, but if Christian wants to talk to me then he needs to come to me and I am busy. I am entertaining my friend who is here visiting me from New York and I don't have the time to drop everything and go running when his royal highness clicks his fingers and demands it, so please tell him that word for word, and also tell him I will be at home all day tomorrow, if he wants to come and see me, I will be there waiting" I say firmly and I hear Gideon suppressing a snort of amusement.

Taylor glances at Gideon and then smiles at me, "I will do... Ana, he told me what happened this morning, he is freaking out. I don't condone what he did and said, but when he does eventually talk to you, please hear him out as he does regret how he behaved".

I nod, and I pat Taylor's arm, "always the loyal employee aren't you Taylor? Yes I'll hear him out, but what he failed to realise was just how much I was freaking out as well. I had only just received that same news and I hadn't exactly planned for this to happen. I wasn't expecting a joyful response but to deny paternity and then storm out was low" I say.

Taylor nods, "I can't disagree with that and the only thing I can say to offer any comfort is that he also realises now, and he knows that he shouldn't have behaved the way he did".

"Thank you Taylor, I appreciate that" I say.

Taylor looks at his watch "Look, I have to go. I take it you are not accompanying me now?" he says.

I shake my head, "No, I know it would make your life easier if I did, but I am firm about this, if Christian wants to talk to me, he should come to me not the other way around".

"Very well, I'll tell him what you said... word for word" he says and with that he turns and is gone.

I watch him go, "Poor Taylor" I whisper.

"You're fond of him?" Gideon asks.

I nod, "I am, he is very loyal to Christian but he has always been kind to me, like an uncle. He is a good man and extremely good at his job; he is one of the few people Christian trusts completely and listens to".

"He must have the patience of a saint to deal with Grey every day" Gideon says.

I giggle, "yes, I have often thought that too" I say.

When we return to the apartment Kate is there with Elliot and as soon as we walk in Elliot stands and walks towards me and holds me tightly.

"Are you ok?" he asks anxiously, he tips my chin up to look him the face and I nod.

"I am so sorry about my little brothers idiotic and hurtful behaviour, if it's any consolation to you both mom and dad have ripped him a new one, and lets just say Kate has told him what she thinks of him" he smiles, and I wonder what Kate did. She is very protective of me and I can imagine that when she let rip she didn't take any prisoners.

"I'm fine Elliot, thank you" I remember my manners and introduce him to Gideon. They shake hands and exchange pleasantries.

"Are you and Kate staying for dinner?" I ask.

Elliot shakes his head, "No, we have a reservation at Bravo; in fact..." he says checking his watch.

Gideon rummages for his phone, and steps away to make a call while I hug Elliot tightly. "Thank you for finding him today" I say.

Elliot shrugs, "He's my brother, but he is a complete asshole sometimes... most of the time" he says and winks at me.

Gideon steps forward, "I have arranged for your meal to be on the house tonight and your table has been upgraded to the private dining area" he says.

Elliot's mouth drops open in surprise, and he looks at Gideon in confusion.

"I happen to own Bravo, and its one of the reasons I am in Seattle at the moment, I am looking to upgrade and expand it and I wanted to see if it was a viable option" Gideon explains.

"Well that's very kind of you, thank you" Elliot says.

Gideon just nods in response. After Elliot and Kate leave I turn to Gideon, "That was a really nice thing you did for them" I say, Gideon just shrugs looking embarrassed.

I head into the kitchen and start preparing dinner, "can I help?" Gideon asks walking up behind me.

"Sure if you want to" I say, I hand him a knife and point to a pile of onions and peppers waiting to be prepared, he washes his hands and rolls up his sleeves and begins to prepare the veg.

I feel calm and relaxed and comfortable, it's nice. I am always on alert and on edge around Christian and that just isn't the case with Gideon. I mentally pull myself together; Gideon is a friend nothing more.

After dinner, which Gideon rapturously compliments, we sit and talk. Gideon tells me a little about his family, he briefly mentions his mother and his step father and his sister Ireland, he also mentions he has a brother Christopher but he doesn't go into much detail about any of them and I get the distinct impression they either don't get along or they are not a very close family, so I don't push him for more details.

As Gideon is about to leave the intercom buzzes I go and answer it, "Hi Steele" a drawling voice says.

"Ethan!" I squeal and I immediately buzz him up.

Moments later there is a knock at the door, I open it and Ethan grabs me and spins me around. I giggle and slap his arm playfully. Ethan looks up and shocked recognition appears on his face when he sees Gideon.

"Ethan, this is Gideon Cross he is a friend of mine visiting from New York, Gideon this is Ethan Kavanagh, he's Kate's brother" Ethan leans forward extending his hand to Gideon and Gideon shakes it politely.

"Will I see you tomorrow Ana?" Gideon asks as he shrugs on his coat.

"Please don't leave on my account" Ethan says.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, I was just leaving, it's good to meet you Ethan".

"Likewise" Ethan says with a grin.

"Ana?" Gideon says returning his attention to me.

"Erm, I'd better stay here in case Christian decides to make an appearance, after what I said to Taylor. Plus I have a number of manuscripts I need to read, before Monday morning" I say apologetically.

Gideon nods, "That's fine, call me if Grey does show up and let me know how it goes" he says.

"I will, and thanks Gideon" I say. He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips and runs his fingers down my cheek, and then he simply turns and leaves.

"Ana, explain to me how the hell you know _the_ Gideon Cross?" Ethan asks incredulously, "You know how to pick them, first Christian Grey and now Gideon Cross, hell girl you set your sights high!" he teases, smiling at me and he nudges me.

I shake my head and turn away.

"Hey, I'm only kidding, what's wrong?" Ethan asks his face falling at my reaction.

"I am NOT a gold digger no matter what people think" I snap.

Ethan looks at me in astonishment, "Hey, come on Ana I know that, who has said such a thing?" he asks.

I burst into tears and Ethan pulls me towards him, "What's wrong, talk to me Ana?" he says and leads me to the sofa.

I take a deep breath, "I'm pregnant and Christian is the father" I say bleakly.

"Shit, does he know, how did he take it?" Ethan asks.

I laugh mirthlessly "Oh he knows and he took it really well, I only found out myself this morning, and he turned up so I took the opportunity to tell him, he freaked out, denied paternity, accused me of sleeping with Gideon and then stormed out" I say.

"He WHAT!" Ethan exclaims, "oh my god, the asshole" he adds indignantly.

"He's scared" I say, and I realise that once again I am defending him and making excuses for him.

"And you're not?" He says.

"I know" I say.

"How do you know Gideon Cross?" Ethan asks, "and what is he doing here?" he adds.

I sigh and rub my face, "We met in New York at a literary exhibition, I was at with SIP – that's the place where I work, and he owns Cross Publishing, we met up a few times and he helped me out" I say, I don't mention the Jack situation.

"Then he turned up this morning to surprise me, as he is in Seattle on business and he dropped by to see me while he was in town. Christian flipped and had his meltdown about the baby while he was here and so he stayed to make sure I was ok" I say.

"What are you going to do... about the baby I mean?" Ethan asks.

I look up at him defiantly, "I will raise my baby alone if I have to, I have a number of options I can run through, but I want to hear what Christian has to say when he has calmed down. I won't deny him his child, but I won't force him to participate in his or her life as there is nothing worse than a parent who doesn't really want to be there and always lets their child down".

I absently stroke my stomach and Ethan smiles at me. He pulls me close and holds me.

"Jeez Steele what a mess!" he says.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

The next morning I am sitting drinking a cup of tea and making notes on one of the manuscripts I brought home when my phone rings, I see it is Christian calling and I am tempted to let it go to voice mail, but I think better of it and pick it up, with a sense of foreboding.

"Hello" I say nervously.

"Anastasia, we need to talk" comes the clipped response.

I sigh and rub my forehead with my fingers, but his manner immediately riles me.

"Good morning to you too Christian and yes I'm fine thanks" I say sarcastically.

"Less of the smart mouth Anastasia, we need to talk, may I see you?" he persists.

"Sure" I say and wait, there is a prolonged silence, I'm not sure what he was expecting but I have obviously taken him by surprise.

"When would be a good time for me to come over?" Christian asks eventually in a slightly softer tone.

"Whenever" I reply, "I'm in all day" I add.

"Ok I can be with you in about 15/20 minutes, is that alright?" he asks.

"Sure" I reply, there is another silence, "Is that it?" I ask.

"Yes" comes the response and then the line goes dead. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Bye Christian" I mutter as I throw my phone down.

I look up as I hear Ethan comes out of the guest room, I smile at him as he looks dishevelled and sleepy.

"Mornin'" he mutters rubbing his face.

"Morning Ethan, erm... Christian is on his way over to talk. I am going for a shower and to get dressed, so when he arrives can you let him in please?" I ask as I stand and move towards my room.

"Sure" he says and with that he wanders into the kitchen to make some coffee.

I pick up my cell phone and text Gideon.

_**Christian called, he wants to talk, he is on his way over now, will talk to you later. Ana**_

The response is immediate, the phone starts to ring. I answer it with a smile.

"Ana, call me as soon as he is gone. Are you alright? Are you alone? Do you need me to come over?" Gideon asks.

"Hi, good morning to you too" I respond, what is it with these men seemingly unable to start telephone conversations with an appropriate greeting? "In answer to your barrage of questions; yes I will do, yes I am fine and Ethan is here, he is staying for a few days. No its probably best if you don't come over as it will only antagonise Christian and it wouldn't be fair, I wouldn't like it if he brought Elena with him" I add, and then I start to giggle.

"What?" Gideon asks.

"Nothing, I told Ethan to let Christian in if I am still in the shower when he arrives, Ethan has just woken up and he is wandering around the apartment in just a pair of boxer shorts, can you imagine Christian's reaction to that?!" My giggles erupt into full hysterical laughter at the thought.

I hear Gideon suppressing a laugh, "Calm down Ana it's not that funny" he says but I can hear the amusement in his voice. "Is Kate there, or are you alone with Ethan?" he asks.

"I don't know" I respond, "I haven't seen her yet so perhaps, or perhaps not" I say.

"I'll let you go and get your shower" Gideon says, "Call me when Grey has gone" he adds.

"Ok bye Gideon" I say and I kill the call.

I head to the bathroom and jump into the shower. I am just finishing getting dressed when I hear voices, and I strain to listen. I smile as I hear the unmistakable sound of a pissed off Christian Grey.

"What the hell are you doing here Kavanagh?" I hear him snap.

"I'm staying here for a few days, not that it's any of your business" I hear Ethan retort.

Then I hear an aggressive screech from Kate which makes me laugh. "You leave my brother alone! He has more right to be here than you and what the fuck are you doing here Grey? If you have come to upset Ana again you can turn your ass around and leave right now!" I stifle another giggle and head out.

Ethan is standing in just his boxer shorts clutching a mug of coffee, and Kate is standing in the doorway in her robe glaring dangerously at Christian. Christian turns and looks at me, he is clearly furious and trying to contain his temper, but he also looks oddly helpless as if he has no idea what to do.

"It's ok Kate" I say gently.

Kate looks at me carefully and then nods, "I'll be in here getting dressed, just yell if you need me." She looks at me meaningfully as she says this and I nod in acknowledgement and watch as she gives Christian another filthy look.

"You are on my shit list Grey" she snarls pointing her finger at him and then she turns and disappears down the corridor to her room.

Ethan looks from me to Christian and back again.

"I'll be in my room, and the same goes for me Steele, if you need me to throw this asshole out just yell" he says, then he turns to Christian, "Don't even think about upsetting her again" he says and with that he leaves Christian and I alone.

"Sorry about that" I mutter and gesture to a seat. Christian sits down without a word, but looks really quite relieved that Kate and Ethan have gone.

"Would you like a drink?" I ask politely and he shakes his head.

I sit opposite him and wait. The silence seems to stretch out for ever, until Christian eventually looks up at me and begins to speak.

"Ana, I... I'm sorry for the way I behaved yesterday, it was unforgivable, but you have to understand it was a shock" he holds out his hands as if he is imploring me to believe him.

I nod, "I know it was a shock as I found out myself only a couple of minutes before that. I found out, Kate came to me, Gideon arrived, then you arrived all in the space of about 5 minutes, so you don't need to tell me that it was a shock as I am fully aware of that fact, but having said that I didn't throw a tantrum about it" I say.

"What's Kavanagh doing here?" Christian asks, changing the subject and ignoring everything I have just said.

"He is Kate's brother, so he has every right to be here." I say curtly.

I see Christian ball his hands into fists on his lap as I say this, but I don't react or say anything, I just wait. He is obviously struggling and part of me wants to cut him some slack but his accusation that I had slept with Gideon still hurts and I am still shocked he even thought that let alone said it, so I let him squirm a little.

"What do you want to do... about the baby I mean?" he asks eventually.

"I am not getting rid of my baby" I say defensively and Christian nods.

"I wouldn't expect you to, that sort of decision is one every woman has to make on her own, and what ever you decide to do, I will support you" he says.

I look at him and my heart melts a little at that, I am now hoping sincerely that we can have a conversation without it degenerating into an argument.

"Christian, I won't stop you from seeing your child, but I won't force you to either. I am prepared to do this alone, I have a number of options available to me and I am thinking them over, I don't want you to feel obliged to have a role in my child's life if you feel you don't really want to" I say.

Christian nods again, "Ana, when the child is born and paternity is established I will financially support you and the child, there will be no question about that."

I stand up my anger rising, "When paternity is established?! You still don't believe this baby is yours do you?" I glare at him, "Do you?" I spit again.

"Ana you have to realise I am a very wealthy man I..." he starts.

"Get out" I say quietly, desperately trying to hang on to my emotions.

Christian stares in me in shock, but my inner bitch has now been unleashed, so much for a civilised discussion with those few words he has severely pissed me off, does this man not know me at all?

"Do you seriously think I am trying to trap you? You are the only person I have ever slept with, I did not want this to happen and I did not ask for it. This isn't some wicked master plan to get my hands on your money, I don't want your fucking money, I never have, it doesn't interest me in the slightest and you damn well know that. All I ever wanted and loved was you, but if you honestly think I am some kind of gold digger you can get out now and don't ever come back. Have you any idea how I am feeling about this, I am just starting to establish a career and I am in no way ready to be a mother, but I will have to be because my baby didn't ask to be conceived, so I will do my best to be the best god damn mother I can be, and you - whether you like it or not will be his or her father, so it's time to grow up Christian," I march to the door and hold it open.

"Ana.. I... I" he stammers.

"Just go" I say quietly.

"No" he replies stubbornly, "Ana, you have to understand, I have no idea how to be a father, and I'm scared" he says.

I snort, "And you think I'm not" I spit at him.

"Please Ana we need to discuss this" he pleads.

I close the door and return to my place on the sofa. "Ana, I'm sorry for what I said, I know you didn't sleep with Cross and it was stupid of me to even suggest it, but he was there and I just reacted because I arrived and he was… there, but I know he has nothing to do with this and I'm sorry. I have no idea what kind of father I can be but I know I can provide materially and I intend to do, I intend to contribute fully to our baby's future".

He stops and what he has just said pushes my anger away, I watch him as he stands and starts pacing.

"I behaved badly and I can't take that back as much as I want to, but I am sorry, I regret what I said. I've thought of nothing else since yesterday morning and I think that the best thing for you is, to move in with me at Escala where I can keep you safe, you can hand in your notice at SIP and..." he stops at my astonished expression. "what?" he asks oblivious to my obvious irritation at his highhandedness.

"Do I get a say in any of this?" I ask.

He waves his hand dismissively, "Ana, this isn't up for discussion, we have to make the best of this" he says.

My eyebrows rise at this, he sounds like he is discussing a business deal, not the life of a child or my life for that matter. "I don't want to make the best of things, and what's this about me giving up my job?" I say.

He looks at me incredulously, "You won't be working, you need to take care of yourself and the baby" he says adamantly.

"I am not giving up my career, women work while pregnant all around the world. I am not moving into Escala, I am not making the best of things, and I am certainly not listening to anything else you have to say until you say something reasonable and sensible". I am standing now with my hands on my hips glaring at him.

Christian glares right back at me, "Well what do you suggest?" he snaps.

I take a deep breath, "Christian, I said that I have a number of options which I have to consider, but my priority is my child. I will carry on working as long as I can so I can return to work afterwards and..."

"No, that is not happening you will be a mother and your place will be with your child" he says emphatically.

I count to ten and raise my eyebrows at him, and continue as if he hadn't spoken, "As I was saying, I will return to work afterwards, I will have a support network around me. Whether or not you choose to be part of it is up to you, I will point out to you, you will be a father so your place will also be with your child" I stop and fold my arms defiantly.

"It seems like you have it all planned out, you don't need or want me" he says.

My patience snaps, and I throw my hands in the air, "Oh for god's sake Christian stop acting like a petulant child. You are going from denying all parental responsibility to put out because I am making decisions. You can't have it both ways, if you want to be part of those decisions you need to behave like a father and not a toddler having a tantrum. You are making my head spin with your attitude, and I really don't need this, any of it." I stop fighting the urge I have to cry and tears start to roll down my cheeks.

Christian's shoulders sag, "I'm sorry, I just have no idea how to do this, Elena said I wasn't cut out to be a father and she was right".

My head snaps up at that piece of news, my anger explodes out of me, "YOU TOLD THAT PAEDOPHILE, THAT I AM PREGNANT!" I scream.

Christian looks startled at me and his expression hardens, "Don't call her that, she helped me" he says quietly.

I stare at him and my mouth drops open not comprehending that he is _still_ defending her, "She helped you?" I say incredulously.

"Yes" he says warily.

I nod, "Ok fine, she helped you, right then Christian think about this, your child..." I put my hand on my stomach, "..._your_ child is just fifteen years old, he or she meets someone who seduces them and leads them into a dark lifestyle of whips and canes and does to them what she did to you when you were fifteen, what would you do eh? What would you do if that happened to your child? How would you feel about that, would you say that they helped them? Also if she helped you so much why have you never told Grace and Carrick how much she helped you, why didn't you tell them how she sorted your shit out? Come on Christian why? And while you are thinking about that; what would you call someone who did that to _your _child? What would you call the person who did the same things to your child that Elena did to you?"

I stand waiting for him to answer and as I watch I see his expression change from hard and closed to complete horror, and I realise it has finally dawned on him the reality of what Elena did to him and he sits down sharply on the sofa and puts his head in his hands.

"Shit" I hear him mutter.

"Exactly" I say a little more gently.

Christian stands up now he looks lost and desolated. "I should go, I shouldn't be anywhere near you or the baby, I'm no good for you, for either of you, how the hell can I be a father? I will make sure you are both financially secure and safe but there is no way on earth I can be a father" and with that he just turns and leaves.

I wasn't expecting that and I feel my legs give way and I sit down. My mind quickly goes over the last few moments, the things he said. I realise now that it was probably her who put the idea in his head that I was a gold digger and that I was just after his money. No wonder he is so confused if he is taking advice from a paedophile. I wonder if he is ok he looked destroyed when he left. I grab my phone and call him but it goes straight to voicemail, I shake my head and think a moment then I call Gideon.

"He's gone" I say as soon as Gideon picks up.

"I'm on my way over" he says.

"Thank you" I say.

I sit thinking over my options, still reeling from Christians reaction and I need advice and the best person I know for advice is Ray, but I don't want to tell him what has happened as I know he won't be pleased to hear about it, but then I reason that there is no way I can keep it from him, as it will become obvious pretty quickly. I pick up my phone and hesitate a moment before screwing up all my courage and with shaking hands I call my stepfather.

"Hello" Ray's voice does something to me and I immediately start to cry as I hear him.

"Daddy" I whisper, I am unable to say anything else and I barely manage to get that one word out.

"Annie? Annie is that you, what's wrong, what's happened sweetheart, talk to me?" I hear the worry and panic in my dad's voice.

"Oh daddy, it's such a mess" I blurt out.

"Calm down and take a deep breath. Come on, talk to your old man whatever it is we can sort it out" he says patiently and I immediately start to calm down, Ray's calm no nonsense tone fills me with confidence.

"Are you sitting down?" I ask nervously.

"Sure sweetheart, now come on talk to me" he says.

"I'm pregnant, Christian is the father but he doesn't want to be, he said he will financially support us but doesn't want to be a father" I say then I stop and wait. The silence spreads out for what seems like an eternity until Ray finally speaks.

"Doesn't he now" my father's voice has turned hard and clipped.

"There's more dad, my friend Gideon from New York, do you remember him? Well he is in Seattle on business and came to visit me which just so happened to be when I discovered I was pregnant and he was here when I told Christian and he witnessed his reaction. I told Gideon I would raise the baby alone and he has offered me a job in New York, a fantastic job as an editor, what do I do daddy?" I ask.

"This Gideon, is he the one who helped you out with that Jack character?" he asks.

"Yes" I answer.

"Well, he seems like a good man, but the question is, what does he want in return?" he asks.

I sigh, "I think he would like there to be more between us but I have told him all I can offer him is friendship and he said he is happy with that, and that he wouldn't push for more than I was willing to give" I say.

Ray sighs, "Well that sort of job offer isn't to be sneezed at. I'm surprised at Christian though, and at this moment I want to wring his damn neck. What's stopping you from taking this job Annie?" Ray asks.

"What is stopping me is you dad, I don't want to be the other side of the country from you" I say.

I hear Ray sigh, "Annie, that's real sweet but you have to do what's best for you and your baby. This Gideon guy is offering you a good well paid and secure job and giving you the chance of a fresh start. That is an offer which you should consider seriously, don't you get worrying about me. I should be the least of your concerns; you need to think about you and your baby".

"Gideon said I would have his plane at my disposal to fly to Montesano or fly you to New York whenever I wanted to" I say.

There is another silence, "I think I should meet this Gideon for myself, how long is he in Seattle?" Ray asks.

"I don't know, but he is on his way over here now as we speak" I say.

Just at that moment the intercom buzzes I go and answer it and moments later Gideon strides into the room with a concerned expression on his face.

"Dad, Gideon is here now, he has just arrived, would you like to speak to him?" I ask.

"Yes I would, put him on" Ray says.

I hand my phone to Gideon, and he looks at me questioningly, "it's Ray, my stepfather. I have told him about your job offer and he wants to talk to you" I say, Gideon nods and takes the phone from me.

"Hello Sir, Gideon Cross here" he says politely. "Yes sir that is correct... yes... yes I do... she is a wonderful woman... yes I have... that wouldn't be a problem, of course I can... yes sir... yes sir... I totally understand... yes, no problem, yes goodbye sir, I'll hand you back to Ana" Gideon hands me the phone and smiles at me.

"Annie, Gideon says it won't be a problem for him to come by and meet me today, I'm sorry I can't drive over to you, but I have a job I need to finish" he says.

I am surprised at this, but I roll with it, "Ok daddy" I say, "I'll see you later" I add and I hang up and look up at Gideon who steps forward and folds me into his arms.

"He wants to meet me, he tells me you told him about the baby and about my offer of a job" I nod but don't say anything. "What happened when Grey came?" Gideon asks gently.

I sigh and tell him what had happened leaving out the part about Elena.

Gideon shakes his head, "he is behaving like a child, he needs to wake up" he says, he runs his fingers down my cheek, "and how he could let someone as wonderful as you slip through his fingers I don't know" he says. I smile but pull my face away from his hand.

Kate and Ethan appear a few moments later and are surprised to see Gideon here, they smile at him and look anxiously at me.

"Everything ok?" Ethan asks, I nod and I explain we are going to Montesano to see Ray as he wants to meet Gideon and Kate smiles widely.

"Ray is a good man" she says she says to Gideon

It doesn't take too long to drive to my dad's place and when we arrive Ray comes out to meet us and strides up to Gideon. Gideon climbs out of the car and confidently walks towards Ray to meet him extending his hand in greeting.

"Gideon Cross, I'm very pleased to meet you sir" he says politely.

"Ray Steele" my dad says as he accepts the greeting.

He turns to me, "Hello Annie how are you?" he says.

He holds his arms open to me and I walk into them, Ray isn't a big hugger but he always knows when I need it most and this moment is one of those times. Gideon watches the exchange quietly and steps back so he doesn't intrude on this private moment.

When we pull apart, Ray turns to Gideon, "I'd like to talk to you in private for a few moments please son" he says and then he turns to me, "Annie go inside and make your old man some tea, I could do with a cup".

I smile, tea is Ray's cure all for any occasion, but I also know he just wants to get rid of me, so I smile and nod and head inside.

It seems like ages, but eventually Gideon and Ray re-enter the house. Ray is smiling and Gideon looks relaxed so I am guessing the talk went well.

"Would you like some tea Gideon?" I ask.

"Please" he replies.

Ray pulls out a chair at the table and points at it. "Sit down Gideon, and welcome to my home, I'm sure its nothing like you are used to but its home".

I am guessing by that comment and the fact even my dad had heard of Gideon that Ray is aware of the extent of the resources Gideon has at his disposal and although he is dressed casually, his clothes are clearly very expensive which betrays his wealth.

"It's lovely here, it has a wonderful atmosphere, it's a real home" Gideon says sincerely and almost enviously as he sits down. Gideon looks around and I see him staring at all the furniture Ray has made.

"They're good aren't they? Ray made them all, do you remember I told you he is a master craftsman" I say proudly.

Gideon looks surprised as he takes a closer look at some of the furniture, and runs his hand along one of the chairs. I place a mug of tea in front of Ray and Gideon and join them at the table.

"Annie, tell me exactly what Christian said to you today" Ray says as he takes a sip of tea. I recount his visit but leave out the part about Elena once again, but Ray knows I am holding something back.

"There's something you're not telling me Annie, come on spit it out" he says.

I blush and feel uncomfortable, "there is, yes" I admit, "but I can't talk about it, Christian trusted me with information which I can't divulge and if I were to tell you I would have to betray that confidence, plus the fact he got me to sign an NDA and I don't want to breach that" Ray looks at me his mouth open and Gideon frowns.

"Ana, what the hell did he say to you?" Gideon says.

I shake my head, "No, I won't betray him" I say firmly.

Ray holds up his hand, "Ok Annie I get it, but I'll ask one thing, this thing which you won't talk about, you think this is this behind the reason he doesn't want to be a father to his baby?" Ray says and looks at me carefully.

I sigh, and nod, "I believe so, he's scared, scared he won't be a good father" I say, "but that's all I'm willing to divulge" I say firmly.

"I don't know what to say, Annie, it is obvious you care deeply about Christian, but the more I hear the more I really think you two need to put some distance between you. Give him chance to sort his head out and come to his senses and you so you can have a fresh start and this job is everything you could wish for, as it's what you want to do." Ray says eventually after some thought.

I sigh, I know Ray is right but it isn't as easy as that, "I'm worried about what will be said when the press get wind of this mess. They will have a field day with the story that Christian Grey's pregnant girlfriend has run off to New York with Gideon Cross" I say.

Gideon reaches across the table, and grips my hand "You will let me handle that, anyone prints anything derogatory about you and I will destroy them" he says grimly.

I swallow hard not doubting for one moment that he would.

"Ok" I say eventually, "Gideon I would like to take you up on your offer of a job in New York as an editor at Cross Publishing" I say firmly.

Gideon beams at me and rises swiftly to his feet and rounds the table pulling me to my feet and holding me to him.

"You won't regret this Ana I will take care of you and the baby" he says. I try and push him away and look up at him, "Just friends" he adds with a grin.

We spend a bit of time with Ray. He show's Gideon his latest carpentry commission which he is working on. Gideon is impressed and questions Ray on his materials and sustainability of the wood he uses. The conversation between the two men veers towards fishing and I learn that Gideon likes to fish and go hunting. I roll my eyes and busy myself tidying up Ray's kitchen while they talk about fishing and hunting. I make a Chicken pie for Ray and put it in the oven setting the timer so he knows when it will be ready. It is cooking nicely when Gideon and Ray reappear.

"Something smells good" Ray says.

"I made you a chicken pie; I have set the timer so you know when it should be done. Ok?" I say.

Gideon walks over and wraps his arm around my waist, "I think you need to make one of those for me, it smells delicious" he says.

"You are welcome stay and join me for dinner" Ray says.

I shake my head, "Thanks dad, but I only made enough for you, besides I need to get back I have arrangements to make if I am going to be moving to New York and not only that I still have a couple of manuscripts I need to read for the job I am currently doing," I say.

Ray hugs me tightly as we bid him goodbye and Gideon assures us both that his plane is at our disposal so we can see each other regularly when I do move.

When we arrive back in Seattle I tell Kate my decision, she is shocked but understands my reasoning, she isn't happy that I will be moving so far away, but agrees it's an opportunity of a lifetime. Gideon spends most of the time on his phone making arrangements. I use Kate's laptop to draft a letter of resignation to Mr Roach at SIP. I wonder briefly how Christian will take this news.

"Do you think I should tell Christian now?" I ask Kate as she proof reads my letter and then prints it off.

She nods, "Yes, I mean even though he doesn't want to be involved, he has a right to know where his child will be living, I'm guessing he won't take it well though" she says.

I nod, "I think that's the understatement of the year, I just hope we can stay civil for the sake of the baby" I say.

Gideon strides in and goes through all the arrangements he has made, I have to give a weeks notice at SIP so all the plans are set for a fortnight's time. He has arranged for a plane to be at my disposal to transport all my furniture and belongings and he is sending someone to transport my car to New York for me. My mouth drops open, with one call he has totally reorganised my entire life.

I realise I have to do my part now and I decide to bite the bullet, first of all I call Grace, and I wait as the phone rings out.

"Dr Trevelyan speaking" I smile as I hear Grace's kind voice.

"Hi Grace its Ana" I say.

"Ana darling, how did it go with Christian? He told me he was coming to see you today to apologise for his appalling behaviour" she asks.

I sigh, "Not too good I'm afraid, we ended up arguing again and he said I should stay away from him for my own sake as well as my baby, so I take it from that he doesn't want to be involved" I say.

"Oh no" Grace sounds upset and I regret that I have caused so much pain to her.

"Grace I am so sorry for how things have worked out, my reason for calling is I have been offered a job in New York and it's a marvellous opportunity for me so I am going to take it, I think a bit of distance and a fresh start is what I need and hopefully it will give Christian time to sort out his head" I say.

"Oh Ana, please don't let Christian drive you away" she says.

"I'm not, and I assure you I will not stop him or you and Carrick from seeing the baby whenever you want to" I say. "But this is truly an opportunity of a lifetime for me and I want to grab it, as my career is doubly important now as I have the baby to consider" I say.

"I understand Ana, truly I do and I know Christian can be stubborn and difficult, I'm so sorry for his behaviour" she says sadly.

"Please don't Grace" I say, "Do you know of a good doctor I can contact once I reach New York? I'd be happier going with someone you recommend" I say

"Of course, when are you going?" she asks.

"In a fortnight's time" I say.

I hear her gasp, "Oh that soon" Grace says in surprise.

"Yes once I decided, things seemed to move quickly" I say glancing at Gideon who is now busy texting someone.

"Well Ana, this isn't how I hoped things would work out, but I hope you will be happy and I wish you the best of luck and remember if you need anything Carrick and I are only a call away" she says.

"Thank you Grace I appreciate that" I say.

"Have you told Christian yet?" Grace asks carefully.

"No" I reply, "I am about to ring him, and hopefully see him face to face to tell him my decision" I say.

"Well I'll let you go so you can do that" Grace says.

"Thank you Grace, for everything" I say sincerely.

"You are more than welcome Ana, and remember what I said... goodbye Ana" and with that she is gone. I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. I brush it away and steel myself for my call to Christian.

I scroll through my contacts and find Christians name and hit his speed dial and wait.

"Ana what's wrong?" the sound of the anxiety in Christians voice when he answers tugs at my heart, this is going to be so hard.

"Hi Christian, I'm fine honestly. I was wondering if I could see you? I have something I need to tell you which I feel should be said face to face, I owe you that much" I stop and swallow hard.

"Of course you can, I will always make time for you Ana you know that" he says, "I'll send Taylor to pick you up" he adds.

"No thank you Christian I can drive myself. I'll leave in a few moments is that ok?" I ask.

"Yes I'll see you shortly" he says.

Gideon watches me hang up, "Do you want me to come with you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, I need to do this alone and it would be rubbing his face in it if I was to turn up with you, and he doesn't deserve that" I say.

Gideon nods, "Ok" he says and he rubs his hand down my arm, and presses a kiss to my cheek. Once again I feel myself pulling away from his touch and I worry again if I am sending him the wrong message by accepting his job offer and moving to New York.

I grab my phone and car keys and leave the apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

When I arrive at Escala, my nerves are jangling. I am really not looking forward to this as I fear that Christian's reaction isn't going to be at all positive. But I reason that he has made it clear he doesn't want to be a father and I have to do what is best for my baby and that means taking the best job I can get, and the job Gideon has offered me far surpasses everything currently available.

As I get out of the car I see that Taylor is waiting the in the car park for me, as soon as he sees me he smiles and walks towards me. I care deeply about Christian and despite his behaviour I do love him and I know this is going to hit him hard and Jason Taylor seems to genuinely care about his boss, so that makes what I am going to say next easier. I take a deep breath and walk confidently up to him, and pull him to one side.

"Hi Taylor, can I ask a favour of you?" He looks at me in surprise and nods.

"Of course" he says simply and I know in that moment he will do all he can for Christian. I decide to be brief.

"Please take care of Christian for me, he is a good man" I say, Taylor cocks his head to one side and looks questioningly at me.

I sigh and after hesitating a moment I tell him my plans, "I'm leaving Seattle, I've been offered a job in New York, it's a huge opportunity for me and I'm going to grab it with both hands, that's why I'm here, to tell Christian".

I stop as Taylor's mouth falls open and he runs his hand over his barely there buzz cut hair, a gesture which I have seen Christian do so many times, and which he has obviously learnt from being around him.

"Shit!" he exclaims.

"What?" I ask confused at his response, not to mention shocked at his emotional outburst, if there is anything I know about Jason Taylor, it is he doesn't do emotional outbursts.

"I apologise for my language Miss Steele, but this is will kill him. You do realise that don't you?" Taylor says sharply, his whole demeanour has changed and he is now glaring at me.

I take a step back quite shocked by his response, he seems to notice this and his demeanour and tone soften slightly.

"Please don't give up on him, I know he is fucking this up but that is because he has no idea how to do a _real _relationship with real emotions attached, but when you walked out on him before he barely survived it and that is no exaggeration." My mouth drops open and the look I am giving him is sceptical as I really can't believe that.

In response he nods firmly and points towards the building, "that man loves you with all his heart, I know he comes across at times as a complete dick and behaves like a heartless asshole most of the time but you have no idea the profound effect you have had on him. Don't do this Ana, please I beg you, he needs you. He won't admit it, but if you had seen him when you went last time. He was like a lost child, it was pitiful. Gail and I were so worried about him, all he did all day that day was sit on the floor of his bedroom and put together that damn model plane you bought him, he worked on it for hours and wouldn't leave it until it was complete and was perfect. He didn't go to that gala he was supposed to go to, and he _never_ cancels professional engagements. He just sat on the floor in his bedroom, he didn't eat and when he finally went to bed that night he had one of his night terrors and it was one of the worst ones I've seen in a long time. Gail and I heard him screaming upstairs in our quarters." Taylor stops, realising he has said too much.

I go cold at that and don't know what to say, "I... I didn't know Christian had night terrors?" I stammer.

"He didn't, when he was sleeping with you" Taylor snaps at me.

He looks at me and appears to be considering something.

He grabs my arm and pulls me closer, "I am going to tell you something now" he says to me and he steps even closer to me and leans in "and if he was to ever find out I had repeated this I would be fired, but you need to know this before you make any life changing decisions" he pauses and I nod. I'm all ears and I am grateful for Taylor caring so much about Christian to risk his job by giving me such an insight into him.

"That man is beyond tormented, he is completely broken and that is no exaggeration. I have no idea how he manages to function as he does on the pitiful amount of sleep he manages to get as he has night terrors every single night and as far as I know it has been every single night of his life as long as he can remember. In the beginning, when we started working for him, every night either myself or Gail would go to him and wake him, to release him from them but he told us to stop and he apologised for waking us. He was ashamed that we had witnessed him like that and that is when he moved his bedroom downstairs, to where it now is so he wouldn't disturb us. When he slept with you that night at the Fairmont when you were drunk, for the first time in his life he slept soundly with no nightmares. Initially, he thought it was a fluke but every time he slept with you the terrors didn't materialise and he began to realise that perhaps there was something in it". I am now openly gaping at Taylor as he pauses and takes another deep breath.

He is clearly uncomfortable telling me this as he thinks he is betraying Christian and I will him to continue.

"I even commented that he was having a better night's sleep since he met you and you know what he said to me, he said '_I feel safe'_, he said for the first time in his life he felt safe with someone. He said '_she makes me feel safe'_, he heard you say you would never leave him in your sleep and he told me that and he said it was the most comforting thing he had ever heard in his life. He relaxed with you, and as a result he let you in so much, far more than anyone else in his life, even his own family and certainly much more than any of his previous subs, in short he fell in love with you". I now fear my look is turning sceptical again and Taylor nods firmly.

"I know that may be hard to believe from your perspective, but you never saw what he was like with them but I did and it was awful to watch. He was so cut off and cold with them, he used them. When he wasn't fucking them or doing whatever other weird shit he did to them they were in their room, they never slept in his bed – you did. They never even walked around the apartment freely like you did. The only other time they came out of their rooms was to cook for him at mealtimes and even then he ate alone".

Taylor looks at me, and I am certain that he is now worried that his job in jeopardy for all he has divulged, he confirms this by what he says next "I've said far too much, but just think about all that, before you go up there and destroy him," he says.

I nod, unable to say a word. I am totally confused now, I feel like I have been well and truly kicked in the gut and my mind starts racing what the hell am I going to do?

"Thank you Taylor" I whisper and he just nods and leads me towards the elevator.

As the doors open into the foyer of the apartment, Christian is standing there waiting for me he is looking so hopeful and once again reminding me of a small lost child. I realise he thinks despite everything that happened everything is ok between us, whereas I thought we were over. I smile at him, and he walks towards me and kisses my cheek.

"You have me intrigued Ana" he says as he takes my hand and leads me into the apartment. I glance at Taylor and blow out a harsh breath. I think carefully what I am going to say, and how I am going to word it, so it doesn't sound like I am abandoning him as it appears that is the root of all his issues, he has severe abandonment issues, which then lead him to behave irrationally, hang on that's exactly it!

That is _exactly_ the problem, in a moment of incredible clarity it all comes together in my mind and I realise _why_ Christian behaves the way he does. All I have seen is the overbearing jealous asshole, demanding and throwing tantrums and not the broken man who went through unspeakable things as a child. Things which left emotional scars, emotional scars which made him the way he is. I quickly piece together in my mind what I am going to say to him.

"Come and sit down" he says and pulls me down beside him on the huge sofa, I glance around and I see Taylor has vanished.

Christian starts to speak before I can say anything, I realise that he is trying to take control of the situation, "What do you want to talk about? If it's about the baby, I know what I said upset you, and I'm so sorry, please don't worry about anything, I will pay for all your pre natal care, everything" he says with a sweep of his hand.

"I'm not here about that" I say carefully. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves and I look him straight in the eye. I reach for his hand and he watches me carefully.

"Every time we try and talk, we end up screaming at each other. I am stubborn, you are stubborn, but we can't keep doing this, it's not good for either of us" I pause, and he nods in agreement.

So far so good, he is agreeing with that, I take a deep breath and plough on with what I want to say.

"So, I have decided to put some space between us for a little while, so we can both sort out how we feel and what we want and need from each other". I watch as blind panic fills his eyes and he shakes his head franticly. I squeeze his hand reassuringly and continue before he interrupts me.

"I have been offered a huge opportunity, it's a job as a proper editor for a Publishing company in New York and I have accepted it. I want you in my life and our baby's life Christian, but we both need to grow up and work out what we both want and need from each other, and we can only do that if we are apart as it will give us both space to see things clearly and we won't be tearing each other apart in the process. I will keep you updated on my pregnancy and the baby's progress and we can keep in contact by phone, Skype, email and text."

My confidence is growing as I lay out my plans and I hold my hand up as he goes to speak and he obediently closes his mouth again.

"Christian, we both need to take the time to resolve issues in our lives, I have to learn to be more accommodating and understanding with your issues and not react to them all the time, I don't like to be controlled. I have issues with that and you know why, my step father tried to take away my control, he belittled me and tried to take control of my body, thankfully he didn't manage to completely violate me but that entire time affected me and I worked hard to regain my self respect and self worth and I won't give it up again". Christian nods in agreement at this, which relieves me.

I squeeze his hand again, "but I have realised that that is at odds with your own need for control, what you told me about your childhood experiences, I can see that you have to have control to feel secure and when I don't comply it sends all your insecurities into overdrive. You seem to fear that I will leave you and because I have male friends, which sparks your jealousy because you think I am going to cheat on you or leave you. Your jealousy drives me nuts and so we clash, so we need to find some middle ground and the only way we can do that is to give each other space, wind things back a step, and learn to respect each other and each other's insecurities. We were too intense too fast, we need to take a step back and start again, slowly".

I stop and look at him. It breaks my heart to see the desolation in his eyes. "Christian, I'm _not_ leaving you, I'm just giving us space and time, space to sort our heads out and time to work out what we want and need from each other, so we can learn to give each other what the other needs, as I say we were so intense, so quickly and we know each other physically but we need more than that to work, we need to know each other emotionally and learn how to compromise with each other and respect each other's baggage. We need to communicate like adults and not resort to screaming at each other when either of us doesn't get our own way and that is more important now that there is a baby on the way as we don't want to screw up an innocent life with our issues".

I stop and I catch sight of Taylor he nods and smiles at me and then disappears again. I look at Christian carefully, "What do you think?" I ask.

As I look at him thinking everything over, I am happy with everything I have said but this silence which is spreading out between us is worrying me slightly, and I know Christian so I also know it could go either way.

"You're leaving me" he says eventually, in such a desolate voice and my heart immediately sinks, he has just latched on to that one point and ignored all the rest, I sigh and rub my eyes.

"Did you not hear anything I just said?" I say irritably. I am feeling tired and I am suddenly overtaken with a wave of nausea.

I take a deep breath and fight it, but I know I am going to be sick. I clap my hand over my mouth and standing quickly I rush to the sink and start retching; Christian comes up behind me and holds my hair, and rubs my back gently. When I have finished he hands me a towel and pours me a glass of water. We sit back down and he looks at me.

"Better?" he asks. His face is full of concern for me and my wellbeing and I know immediately he will be a wonderful father, he just needs to believe in himself.

I nod as I sip my water. "My morning sickness seems to have a broken watch" I say with a wry smile.

Christian sighs, "So, you are moving to New York?" he says eventually, I nod waiting for the inevitable next question.

"Are you going to work for Cross?" he asks, and there it is.

"Yes" I reply, I wait for the outburst but to my surprise it doesn't come.

There is another lengthy silence and then when I start to wonder if he is going to respond at all, he nods once and speaks, "You're right" he says sadly.

"I am? I mean I am" I say shocked to the core by this seemingly new accommodating, reasonable and understanding Christian.

"Yes everything you have just said makes sense".

He reaches for my hand and grips it so tightly, "Do you promise me you are going there for the job and not for him?" he says.

I nod and I decide to be totally honest and tell him everything. "Yes I am, he would like more but he is my friend and nothing more. He has said he wants to take care of me and the baby, he has said he wants us to be a family, but I haven't agreed to that as I don't see him that way and I have told him that. He is my friend and I have made it crystal clear I am only agreeing to the job he is offering me," I say firmly.

"Ok" he says warily, "Can you be sure he will abide by those rules once he gets you in New York?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes I can, because he knows where he stands with me. I told him I didn't want to lead him on or let him think there could be more between us than there ever could be and he understood that and he also knows that I love you, because I told him that I did."

I see a look akin to triumph flash briefly in his eyes as he hears that, then he quickly recovers and replaces it with that damn impassive mask.

"Can I come and visit you?" he asks after another moment's silence.

I smile at him and lean forward and touch his face, he closes his eyes and leans into my touch. "Of course you can, I would expect nothing less" I say.

"What's the job?" he asks, I quickly explain the retirement of the editors and Gideon's offer.

"I could give you that" he says.

I stare at him, is he finally going to admit he now owns SIP? His looks turns a little sheepish, and I know that he is.

"I now own SIP, I bought them out soon after you started, so one word from me and you would be permanently installed as the Fiction Editor, rather than just a caretaker of the role" he says.

I shake my head, "Thank you Christian, but no, we need to do this and this is truly an opportunity of a lifetime and I am to become a mother in a few months I want to do something with my degree and all my hard work at University before the baby comes." I say.

He nods, "Alright, I accept that but you are still mine" he says fiercely.

"Christian" I begin, and try and pull away but he grips my hand and pulls me back towards him.

"I know, you are not a possession and you don't belong to anyone but I beg to differ, you are carrying my baby," he points at my stomach as he says this.

"There is a part of me inside you at this very minute, so that makes me a part of your life and I don't want to lose my grip on that. So promise me, you may be the other side of the country but you are still mine," he stops and stares at me earnestly. Then he lowers his gaze to my stomach and hesitantly he reaches towards me and places his hand protectively on it.

I feel my heart flip when he says the words 'my baby' then it melts completely with his hesitant gesture and I realise what he means and I smile up at him, hope and positivity rising inside me as I believe that he is slowly starting to accept the baby.

"Ok, yes I'm still yours" I say with a sigh as I cover his hand with my own.

He beams at me and wraps his arms around me, "I'm so sorry for the way I behaved when you told me about the baby, I will try and be a good father. I have no idea how to do it but I will try" he says.

"That's all I ask, and hey I have no idea how to be a mother either so we can learn together, but I really think the distance will be good for both of us, we can work out what we want and need from each other and work out the important things".

"Ok, I won't say I am happy with it but I understand why we need to do it" he says. I realise this is a huge step for Christian, and in these few moments of civil communication and compromise on both sides we have just made an enormous amount of progress.

"Thank you Christian" I say gratefully.

"Are you going now?" he asks me and I nod.

"Yes, I am" I say firmly.

He looks disappointed but he doesn't argue or try and persuade me to stay, he simply nods and gives me a brave smile, this really is progress.

He walks me right to my car and when we reach it I turn and hug him good bye. I wrap my hands around his neck, being careful not to touch him but he pulls me tightly against him. When we eventually break apart I feel a pang of separation and a momentary thought of not wanting to leave but I stick to my guns and he watches as I climb into my car.

"Drive carefully" he says anxiously, I smile at him but don't say anything. Then he leans down and gives me a sweet chaste kiss on my lips before stepping away.

As I pull out of the Escala car park I glance in my rear view mirror and see Christian still standing there watching me leave, it takes me all my willpower not to turn the car around and go back to him, but I am more than sure now that the move to New York is the best thing, as I am confident that it will bring us closer together in the long run.

When I arrive back at the apartment I am surprised to see Gideon still sitting there watching TV with Ethan, they are drinking beer and chatting amiably.

"Hi guys what are you watching?" I ask.

They both look up, "Dunno just some random crap" Ethan says. Gideon stands and walks towards me.

"Did it go ok?" he asks, and I nod.

"Yes it did, and it was very civilised. I think we made more progress tonight than we have done since we met. We finally had a grown up conversation and saw each other's point of view without it degenerating into an argument. It was a big step in the right direction" I smile.

Just as I am about to head to the kitchen to get myself a drink the intercom buzzes.

"I'll get it" Ethan says and hauls himself towards it, moments later there is a knock at the door.

I answer and see a middle aged woman, with short platinum blonde hair cut into a bob, she has clearly had botox and her make up is over done.

"Can I help you?" I ask, wondering who the hell she is.

"Anastasia Steele?" she sneers.

"Yes, may I ask who you are?" I say, I am shocked as she just pushes past me and strides into the apartment as if she owns the place.

"Hey lady who are you and what the fuck do you think you are doing?" I shout, Gideon and Ethan both turn at my raised voice.

The woman stands glaring at me; she hasn't even noticed the two men in the room staring at her in astonishment. Her stance reminds me of Christian when he was in Dom mode in the playroom.

"I am Elena Lincoln and I am here to discover what your game is, do you really think you can hang on to a man like Christian Grey by pulling a cheap stunt like getting yourself pregnant, my god he eats little girls like you for breakfast. I don't know what your plan is lady, but you are seriously deluded if you think he is going play happy families with you".

She stops and freezes and her mouth drops open when she finally notices Gideon who is staring at her in disbelief.

"You!" he gasps, in clear recognition. "Sybil Hanson as I live and breathe, and what rock did you crawl out from under?" he spits.

What? He knows her, but why did he call her Sybil? I look at Gideon in confusion, "Gideon this is Elena Lincoln, Christian's '_friend_' " I sarcastically say the word friend.

Elena's head spins back to face me and she narrows her eyes at me, she is clearly upset that I don't seem to be intimidated by her. Then I see movement and Elliot and Kate appear with shock on their faces.

"Elena what are you doing here?" Elliot asks.

Elena's head is now almost as if it is on a swivel as she spins around and stares at them, with a look of horrified recognition when she sees Elliot. She obviously wasn't expecting an audience of this magnitude nor a large number of witnesses to her venomous outburst; she pushes past me and leaves without another word.

"Bye! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" I shout after her as I slam the front door shut. It was childish but I just don't care.

"What the hell was that all about?" Kate asks.

"That's what I'd like to know" I say, for one second I wonder if Christian was behind this but I disregard that quickly, but he still needs to know about this. I grab my phone and call him, he answers after the first ring.

"Christian, your '_friend_' has just been here and verbally abused me" I say before he can say a word.

"What?! Who?" He exclaims in obvious confusion.

With a huge amount of effort I hold back the words Mrs Paedo and Mrs Robinson as I spit out her name.

"Elena" I snap.

"Elena, seriously?! I'll be right over" he says and then hangs up.

A short while later he arrives, while I am still reeling from her outburst. Christian glares at Gideon as soon as he sees him and Kate and Elliot launch into a volley of questions as to why Elena came here. Christian ignores them all and turns to me.

"What happened, what did she say to you?" he asks looking at me anxiously. I tell him word for word what she said to me and how she had behaved, and Christian starts pacing and running his hands through his hair.

"I swear to you that I didn't have anything to do with this Ana. Please, you have to believe me" he says, "I can't understand why she would do this, but I didn't send her Ana. Do you believe me?" he looks at me pleading with his eyes for me to believe him.

"I do" I whisper.

Gideon steps forward, and I am on alert but there is something about his demeanour that stops me from stepping in and when he speaks I am even more curious as how he know Elena.

"Christian may I talk to you privately a moment please? I need to talk to you about something" he asks. I look up surprised at the almost sympathetic tone Gideon is using. Christian seems surprised too and it takes all the hostility out of him as he obviously realises whatever Gideon wants to say is important. He nods and follows Gideon into the kitchen and the door is shut.

"What's all that about?" Kate asks.

I shrug, "I have no idea, by the way where's Ethan gone?" I ask looking around.

"I'm here, what did I miss?" he says strolling out, Kate rolls her eyes and pats his shoulder.

"Never mind bro" she says.

A few moments later we see Gideon and Christian leaving the kitchen, they both look shattered and pale. Christian doesn't hesitate as he walks over to me and pulls me into his arms holding me tightly to him.

"If that woman comes anywhere near you again you call me immediately do you understand me?" he says.

There is something in his tone which doesn't make me argue or question this demand, I simply nod and say nothing.

"Promise me Ana" he barks and his worried agitation sets me on edge.

"Ok I promise, what's going on Christian?" I ask, I push away from him and look up into his face.

He shakes his head sadly, he looks totally shattered and ashamed, "You were right about her" he mutters and looks at Gideon as he says this and then he nods at him in a silent gesture of thanks before returning his attention to me. He looks so crushed and devastated and the expression on his face is concerning me.

"Christian please talk to me, what is it?" I ask touching his arm gently.

He shakes his head, "I need to go, I have to... I can't... Gideon will explain everything to you" he says in a clipped tone, I feel him pull away from me abruptly and he kisses my cheek and then turns to leave.

I grab his arm, "Oh no you don't Grey, you are not going anywhere till you explain to me what the matter is" I say.

I realise something big went down in the kitchen and whatever it was has made Christian shut down, I look at Gideon and he looks just as shattered. Kate speaks and draws me from my troubled thoughts.

"We will leave you to it" she says.

She is obviously picking up on the intense atmosphere which has settled around us. She grabs Ethan and Elliott who are both totally oblivious and just standing looking confused and shepherds them towards the door; I catch her eye and mouth the words thank you to her as they leave.

I close the door and turn back to Gideon and Christian who are both looking equally lost.

"What's going on?" I ask, as I quickly walk towards them.

I stop in front of them and put my hands on my hips, and as look at Gideon the questions come tumbling out. "Come on what did you say to Christian, what has happened here and why the hell did you call Elena Sybil?" Then I turn to Christian, "What did he say to you?" I ask.

Gideon glances at Christian and then pulls me down on to the sofa, Christian follows and silently sits on my other side his whole demeanour screams of a lost bewildered child and it is worrying me, so I look questioningly at Gideon and wait for some sort of explanation.

Gideon begins by not speaking to me but addressing Christian, "That woman abused you at some point in your life didn't she, Christian?" my eyes go so wide they bulge, how the hell did he know that?

Before Christian can reply Gideon turns to me, "she is the situation you wouldn't talk about at your father's house isn't she? Why you didn't want to betray him?" he says, I feel my breath catch but don't say anything, still determined to protect Christian's privacy and I glance at Christian who manages to give me a weak smile.

"It's alright Ana, I appreciate your loyalty and discretion but in this instance it is unnecessary" he says.

I look questioningly at Gideon wondering what that is supposed to mean and he takes a deep breath, "It's ok Ana I know, and so does Christian now. That woman you and Christian know as Elena Lincoln is actually called Sybil Hanson, she was a member of a paedophile ring in New York in the 1990's, she escaped justice because she had some powerful people in her pocket, as she was also a BDSM Dominatrix at a local BDSM Club. She disappeared from the area and obviously moved across the country to Seattle where she re-invented herself. She is a very dangerous sadistic woman" he stops speaking and I feel my mouth drop open.

"How do you know all this?" I ask. I am feeling nauseous at what Gideon has just told me, Gideon lowers his head and looks vulnerable and ashamed, this isn't a look I have ever seen on his face before and the sickening realisation dawns on me.

"Oh my god she abused you too?" I gasp as I reach out for him and grasp his hand. I hear Christian take in a sharp breath but he doesn't move, it is as if he has been turned to stone.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, but one of her cronies did" he whispers. I gasp again and my hands fly to my mouth.

"Oh Gideon" I say, "What happened to you?" I ask.

He looks up at me and glances at Christian and then he shakes his head, "I can't tell you it's too awful" he mutters.

I grip his hand tightly and shuffle closer to him, "yes you can, I'm your friend Gideon, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, I am assuming whatever happened to you happened when you were a child?"

Gideon nods but doesn't say anything so I squeeze his hand tightly.

"Gideon, listen to me. Whatever it was it wasn't your fault".

He lifts his head and looks at me his expression is bleak and I see tears in his eyes. That is something I have never seen before. He looks afraid and exposed something I had never associated with him. He lowers his head again and closes his eyes, and shakes his head again.

"Whatever you say will not leave this room, I assure you of that" Christian says adamantly.

Gideon thinks about that and then reaching for my hand once more he closes his eyes and begins to speak. His actions remind me of when Christian purged himself of his secrets from the past, I grip his hand and try and reassure him that he is safe just as I previously had done with Christian.

Gideon talks quickly and everything comes out in a rush as if he can't wait to purge it from himself.

"His name was Hugh... my abuser, he was meant to help me, he was meant to be my therapist when my dad committed suicide, he was meant to help me. I was angry and I was troubled, hardly surprising really as my father had died – he'd taken his own life but he said the reason I was so angry and acting out was because I was starting puberty and I needed to masturbate. He asked me to show him how I did it and he said he said I was doing it wrong; so he offered to show me and… and… I let him touch me. That's how it began and then every time he came he insisted he wanted to touch me, he touched me and he made sure that he made me come every damn time. He wouldn't stop until I came so he could say I liked it. Things escalated and soon that wasn't enough for him and he started pushing his fingers in my ass, he touched a spot inside my ass which made me want to come more than anything, I didn't want to but I just couldn't stop it, I tried to fight him, I really tried, I knew it was wrong I felt dirty and I wanted it to stop, so I tried to fight him off. I really tried Ana".

He opens his eyes and he is pleading with me almost as if he is begging me to believe what he is telling me and my heart break for him. He is gripping my hand almost to the point of pain now but I don't do anything as it is obvious he needs to get this out. He closes his eyes once more and I see shame fill his face. "I tried to fight him off but he was too strong and he... he... and he... raped me" Gideon's voice is now barely above a whisper, he opens his eyes once more but he doesn't look at us, he is staring resolutely at the ground. I don't hesitate I lean forward and wrap my arms around him.

"Oh my god Gideon, come here" I say, tears are pouring down my cheeks and I hold him tightly.

He freezes and then he slowly wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder and he starts to sob. I console him as best as I can, but my mind is spinning by what he has just told me. I glance at Christian who has a horrified expression on his face.

Gideon pulls away and he glances at Christian again and then looks at me and he has a look of incredulous surprise on his face, "you... you believe me?" he asks me.

I stare right back at him in surprise, "Of course I believe you, why wouldn't I?" I say.

This provokes another outpouring of tears and he grabs me again and his body shakes as he sobs uncontrollably on my shoulder.

"Gideon what is it?" I ask gently as I try and offer him some sort of comfort.

"I told my mother and she didn't believe me".

Christian gasps at this and immediately moves closer and he places his hand on Gideon's shoulder in a silent show of unity.

"Ana believes and I also believe you" he says quietly.

Gideon gives him a grateful look and continues with his story, "it wasn't her fault, she took me to a paediatrician and he happened to be married to Hugh's sister so to protect her he buried the evidence of the abuse and called me a liar" he says bitterly.

The anger I feel overwhelms me that Gideon has been treated so badly by a paediatrician of all people. Someone whose job it is to deal with the welfare of children. I suddenly think of Grace and how she took in Christian when he was a small abused child and gave him a home and love… but then I think of Christian the teenager, Grace and Carrick missed that abuse, surely as a paediatrician she should've seen the signs that Christian had fallen into the hands of a sexual predator? I quickly push these thoughts from my mind. Grace is nothing like the monster that lied to Gideon's mother, his was wilful and criminal neglect allowing an abused child to take the blame for his abuser.

These thoughts make me feel physically sick and as I feel another wave of nausea engulf me and I stand and rush to the bathroom, and start vomiting into the toilet. Both Gideon and Christian follow me in and kneel beside me and Christian holds my hair as I vomit.

"Are you alright?" Christian asks and I nod, but my head is spinning I rest my head on my arm on the edge of the toilet bowl.

"Are you sure, you are very pale?" Gideon says. I nod but say nothing, and just continue to sit with my head on my arm.

Moments later I feel Christian's strong arms around me lifting me off the cold bathroom floor. I wrap my arms around him and he takes me to my room laying me down gently on my bed. I look up and see Gideon sitting one side and Christian sitting the other side of my bed, both of them looking worried but I manage a weak smile.

"I'm sorry about that" I say.

I look from Gideon to Christian and back again and I come to a decision, both these men have been severely let down and they are both in a position now to be able to do something about it, with their combined resources and the influence they can command by their wealth and status they could move mountains.

"You know, you two need to sit down and talk to each other" I say firmly, they look at each other warily.

"I mean it, full disclosure you two need to trust each other. Don't you see? If you two got your heads together you can be an unbelievably powerful force to get justice. I don't mean for yourselves, well not just for yourselves but also for many, many other children who have possibly crossed that fucking woman's path and that of her sick cronies".

I turn to Gideon, "What happened to Hugh?" I ask him.

"Suicide" he whispers and I nod, I'm actually glad he's dead.

Gideon thinks for a moment and then turns to Christian, "She's right, if we pool our resources there is nothing we couldn't achieve if we put our minds to it. We have both been victims it's now time we both became survivors" Christian considers that and nods and then begins to speak.

"I thought she was helping me, Flynn – that's my shrink, has been telling me for years it was abuse but I couldn't see it and I just didn't listen but now, it was the baby that did it. It made me see that what we did was... wrong. She manipulated me, she manipulated my mother using her friendship with her to get information on me" he stops and turns to Gideon.

"Promise me you will use every possible resource you have to keep Ana safe in New York?" then he turns to me, "I'm glad you are moving to New York now after hearing all this, as she won't be able to harm you or the baby if we start putting together a plan to bring her down" he says.

Gideon holds out his hand to Christian, "You have my word" he says solemnly.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

I look at Christian and Gideon. The two lost and scared little boys have now been hidden by the strong CEO's, the facade they so easily wear. They are now looking to bring that woman down and they are united over such a sickening experience. I realise that Elliot was here when Elena came and will be asking questions when he and Kate return.

I reach for Christian's hand to get his attention which he quickly focuses on me.

"Christian, you do realise that Kate and Elliot were here when she turned up and they witnessed her outburst and they saw you and Gideon disappear into the kitchen to talk, and saw what happened when you both came out, so a heads up here, you know Kate will dig, but Elliot will want answers as well," I say.

"He can want" Christian says coldly.

I touch his hand again, "Christian, he's your brother and he loves you and if you want my opinion, you should use this opportunity to start becoming a survivor and tackle it head on. You have now accepted she abused you which is really brilliant and I am so proud of you. So build on it and gather your family together and tell them what she did to you, get them onside. This is your chance Christian; it's time to completely rid yourself of this. Plus, if you and Gideon really are going after her, you won't be able to keep it secret for much longer so get your family on board now. They can help you. Carrick would be a huge asset with his legal expertise and experience. I'm sure Gideon would go with you to give his knowledge on that woman and I'll go with you too if you want me to, this a golden opportunity for you, so grab it" I say.

Christian shakes his head, "No I can't" he says.

I reach for his hand, "Christian, your mother is a paediatrician. She was probably targeted by Elena for that reason and do you want Elena to continue to leach off of your mother?" I say. His eyebrows rise and I see him considering my words.

"You'd be with me when I tell them?" he mutters.

"Of course I will" I say.

Gideon looks straight at Christian. "So will I, and if I have to I will make them believe you" he says fiercely.

My heart almost breaks at that comment; Gideon was obviously severely damaged by his mother's denial.

"Could I do it here? Gather them here and tell them as it's neutral ground, so to speak?" Christian asks quietly.

"Of course you can" I reply.

Christian stands and pulls out his phone. I watch all vulnerability drain away, replaced by the cold impenetrable CEO facade. He has made a decision to do something and he is now making it happen. Gideon stands beside him offering him silent unwavering support, as they stand side by side with their determined expressions I am struck with how their mannerisms and expressions are very similar and it makes me smile, it must be the CEO look.

"Mom, it's Christian. I need you and dad to come over to Ana's apartment immediately... no she's fine and so is the baby. I'll explain when you get here... yes... ok... thanks mom I'll see you both shortly" he hangs up, "they are on their way" he says.

I go to climb off the bed, but Christian reaches for me, "Where are you going?" he asks.

"I'm feeling much better now, so I need to get up" I say.

I see him go to protest but then think better of it, "Ok" he says and then he offers me his hand to help me up.

We go into the living room and as we sit waiting for Carrick and Grace to arrive we start to talk and share our life experiences. Christian, Gideon and I sit and talk about things which no-one should be subjected to, and we openly share the grisly details of our abusive pasts with each other. Gideon looks horrified when I talk about Stephen Morton and what he did to me even though my experiences were nowhere near as bad as anything both Christian and Gideon endured and I am more than thankful for that. Christian opens up like I have never seen before and talks and talks about his childhood experiences with his birth mother and her pimp and how it all started with Elena.

Some of the things she did to him were truly sickening and perverted, and I'm sure as he recalls them and speaks about that time, he now realises there was no way on this earth that woman ever helped him as she had brainwashed him to believe.

Gideon talks about his childhood, his father and his crooked financial deals that went bad and his suicide to avoid punishment which left him devastated. He talks of his mother's swift remarriage and his feelings of having everything familiar and secure being ripped away and then being pushed out and a stranger in the home where his mother was building a new life and family for herself. He talks openly about how he has never been really close to his mother. How she always called him a naughty boy and that he was just like his father. I find that shocking how could any mother place the sins of the father on a small innocent child?

He tells of the experiences at the hands of the sick and perverted health professional who was sent in to help him, and then the lies of the paediatrician and most appallingly his own brother who both made Gideon out to be an attention seeking liar, and how that succeeded in alienated him completely from his family. I realise now why Gideon always seemed to be such a solitary man, it was because he is, as he has spent the vast majority of his life inherently alone; even when he was a small child he lost his father and he never felt loved by his mother. My heart breaks when he tells us sadly but matter of factly that his mother 'didn't love him enough'.

We all purge ourselves of the pain and memories of the past, in this strange makeshift group therapy session and I look at the two men in front of me. Two titans of the business world with a combined wealth of a small country yet now I am really seeing both of them for the first time and I feel privileged to gain this insight into both of them and see this vulnerable side which nobody else in the world gets to see.

I have to say both men look much lighter now they have shared all they have and I believe that what has happened here today can only be a good thing for both of them. I am pulled from my thoughts as the intercom buzzes. I see Christian stiffen and the impassive mask easily slips back into place. I reach out for him and offer him some silent reassurance and then I watch as Gideon also does the same thing. I go and let Grace and Carrick in, Grace looks worried as she comes in. She hugs me and looks at me questioningly and then offers her cheek to Christian for him to kiss it.

"Oh mom" he moans and then he surprises everyone when wraps his arms around her. I see the shock on Grace's face, I realise this must be the first time he has ever hugged her. The shock dissipates and turns to a pure expression of maternal love as she closes her eyes and her arms go uncertainly around his neck, I see him flinch slightly but he doesn't let go. Any feelings of antipathy towards Grace for being negligent in his teen years vanishes as I see the pure love that she so obviously feels and shows for her son.

It's a beautiful moment to witness. I turn to Carrick who looks from me to Gideon and then to Christian and Grace. I step forward and introduce him to Gideon.

"Carrick this is Gideon Cross, he is my friend from New York. Gideon this is Carrick Grey, Christian's father" I say, Gideon holds out his hand and Carrick accepts it.

"Pleased to meet you sir" Gideon says politely.

I see Christian pull away from Grace and he introduces her to Gideon, but she smiles and holds up her hand to stop him. "Yes we've met, it's good to see you again Gideon" she says and Gideon smiles at her.

"Likewise Mrs Grey" he says.

"Please call me Grace" she says.

"Shall we sit" Christian says taking charge.

I quickly go and get some glasses and a jug of water although I'm thinking something stronger may be needed after what is about to be said. When I return everyone takes a seat I find myself sitting in between Christian and Gideon and they both reach for my hands. I realise how weird this must look to Grace and Carrick and I begin to speak to start the explanations.

"Thank you for coming. Gideon, Christian and I have been talking and certain things have come to light and after some discussion Christian has decided he needs to tell you something, and I warn you it's not going to be pleasant".

I pause, and look at Christian, "I'll let Christian explain to you" I say and I grip his hand tightly as I encourage him to speak. Christian looks at me the fear evident in his eyes, and my heart breaks for him.

"It's ok baby they won't blame you, because it wasn't your fault, none of it was your fault" I say.

I watch Grace immediately on alert at my words, "Christian?" she says.

I retrieve my other hand from Gideon's grasp and touch Christian's cheek. I lean forward and place a small kiss on his lips, "Go on tell her, she's your mom, you'll be fine and we are all here for you" I say encouragingly to him whilst looking him straight in the eye.

Gideon stands up and moves to sit the other side of Christian and places his hand reassuringly on Christians shoulder, once again Christian flinches slightly but quickly recovers. Gideon hastily removes his hand and mutters a word of apology to Christian.

Christian nods and after giving me another slightly desperate glance he reaches for me and then closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath and then gripping my hand tightly he begins to tell Grace and Carrick about what Elena did to him. He doesn't go into the detail he did with Gideon and I, which I can understand as it would kill her to know the full extent of what that bitch did to him so he just says that she seduced him when he was fifteen, recalling how it all started and going on to admit that they had a sexual relationship that lasted a number of years.

When Christian has finished speaking Grace and Carrick look dumbfounded, and then Gideon leans forward and starts to speak telling them what he knows of Elena, and who she really is – including her real name and about her activities in New York, the BDSM club and paedophile ring she was linked with. When Gideon has finished speaking, Carrick and Grace both look completely shell shocked. They don't say anything and I can see this is making Christian's anxiety rise considerably.

"Are you going to say something mom?" Christian asks sharply and I give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Grace looks completely shattered, and she looks at Christian with tears in her eyes. "I failed you" she whispers, "I completely failed you as a mother, I handed you to that woman on a plate. I am a terrible, terrible person" she gasps.

Carrick reaches for her and shaking his head he tells her not to be so silly and Christian gets up and pulls his mother to her feet and pulls her into his arms.

"No mom, no don't ever think that you saved me. You gave me a home; you gave me love and security which I had never had before. I'm the bastard here, it's not your fault that couldn't accept it and… and… it just… it all got so hard when I became a teenager… and I'm sorry mom".

Grace pulls away and shakes her head, "No Christian, do not apologise because you have nothing to apologise for – do you hear me? Nothing" she says firmly. "She did this, she did this to you, and she abused you under our noses and…" Grace gasps and her hand flies to her mouth.

"The brawling and bad behaviour, it all stopped so suddenly that summer after you started doing chores for Elena that was the catalyst wasn't it, what she was doing?" she says.

Christian nods and looks ashamed, "and that is why I have always thought she helped me, I have only just realised what it really was, since Ana told me I was to be a father, it made me realise" he mutters. I listen to him and realise what he has just said sounds better than the fact he has only realised it in the past few hours.

Grace smiles, "Children will do that to you, they make you see things differently, but that makes me an even worse mother as all I was interested in at that point in time was the fact you had turned your life around and had stopped being so anti social. I didn't examine the reasons _why _it had happened because I was just too pleased it had. I am so sorry Christian, I failed you" she holds him tightly again and it is heartbreaking to watch.

"No mom, please don't blame yourself" Christian moans. They cling to each other for a few moments and silence falls over the room.

"Why now?" Grace asks eventually. I look at her in confusion and Gideon and Christian look at each other.

"What was the catalyst for this revelation?" Carrick asks patiently.

I sigh and raise my hand, "Erm that would be me, she turned up here earlier and verbally abused me, basically accusing me of being a gold digger, playing games getting myself pregnant on purpose to try and trap Christian and get my hands on his money" I say.

"But as she was having her rant Kate and Elliot came out and she obviously recognised Elliot, and then when Gideon recognised her as well and when he called her by her alias of Sybil Hanson she couldn't get out of here quick enough, I called Christian and told him what had happened and he came over, Gideon told him what he knew about Elena and then he and Gideon talked some more and compared notes and well..." I shrug.

Grace looks at Gideon, "Did she abuse you too Gideon?" she asks as she takes a step towards him and as she does so Christian sits back down beside me.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, but one of her cronies did, he was part of the paedophile ring she was in, in New York", he pauses and it is almost as if he is waiting for the denial and disbelief of his words.

"Gideon, are you alright?" Grace asks him gently, "What happened to you?" she asks as she crouches in front of him and touches his hand.

I watch as he shakes his head, "no this isn't about me and what happened to me, this is about Christian. He needs your love and support now, not me" he says, and I watch as he shuts down, effectively pushing Grace away.

We all watch as Christian stands and moves towards him and wraps his arm around Gideon's shoulder and gives him a manly slap.

Grace watches and she shakes her head, "Gideon, you look like you need some love and support as well" she says kindly

I watch Gideon take a sharp breath in at her words, and he swallows hard. "It was a long time ago" he blusters and Grace holds up her hands.

"Alright, I'm not going to push you but I will just say thank you for being instrumental in getting Christian to find the courage to come to me and tell us about what happened to him" she pats his hand and Gideon just shrugs. Grace moves back to her seat next to Carrick and Christian once again retakes his place next to me. As Grace sits down she looks at me "and that goes for you too Ana" she says gratefully.

There is an oppressive silence as Grace stares at Gideon and then Christian for a moment and seems to be thinking things over, going over everything she has learnt in the past few moments, she suddenly looks up and fixes her gaze back on to Christian.

"Christian did she ever hit you or do any of these BDSM activities to you?" She asks quietly, I see Christian go deathly white and he doesn't answer. He lowers his head and Grace gasps.

"Oh my god she did didn't she!?" she exclaims.

"She told me I needed it, she told me it was for my own good" Christian says looking up into Grace's face pleading with her to believe him.

Grace looks horrified, and her hand moves to her throat again. "Oh my god, she used everything I ever told her about you when I was so worried about you and she used it for her own sick and perverted pleasure".

Grace stands again and then comes over to Christian and kneeling in front of him she takes his face in her hands and holds his head to look straight into his eyes.

"Christian look at me, she abused you, she physically and sexually abused you and she lied to you. You do see that don't you?" Grace asks.

Christian nods "I'm sorry" he whispers.

"Don't you dare Christian Trevelyan Grey, I've already told you not to apologise because this is not your fault. She is the one to blame for this she did this to you, you were a child with issues and she took advantage of that, she manipulated me and she groomed and abused you. This is not your fault darling. This is why you have been so cut off from us for years she did that, she alienated you from the people who really and truly love you and we let her do it, I am so sorry for my part in that whole period of your life and thank you for finally telling us, trusting us and letting us in".

Christian snakes his arms around Graces waist and pulls her to him resting his head on her shoulder, Grace puts her arms gingerly on his shoulders. I see him freeze but Grace whispers lovingly into his ear and he gradually relaxes and begins to quietly sob. Slowly she strokes her hand up and down his shoulder and he sobs even harder. Its a poignant moment, Christian is finally starting to let go of his past and I can't stop the tears from falling, I reach over and I squeeze his knee and he looks up releasing Grace and he turns to me and pulls me to him holding me tightly.

"Thank you Ana" he says.

When he releases me Grace pulls me into her arms, "Yes thank you Ana, with your help I have just held my son the way I have always wanted to for the first time. I have waited 24 years for him to let me hold him like that" she says, wiping the tears from her face.

She turns her attention towards Gideon once more, "and as for you Gideon, I won't push you but my door is always open for you" she says kindly.

I watch as Gideon takes this in and nods, and then in the next moment he is telling Grace about what happened to him and how his mother didn't believe him due to the actions of the paediatrician.

Grace listens and lets him tell his story and she looks horrified at this revelation and I think that as a paediatrician herself she was just dumbfounded that a fellow paediatrician could do such a thing. We watch as Grace walks up to Gideon and pulls him up into her arms and offers him some comfort.

"How could anyone be so wicked? Especially someone whose job is to care about the welfare of children" she mutters confirming my assumptions.

As Gideon pulls away he looks slightly bewildered, he has lived with disbelief and denial for over a decade and suddenly he now has a number of people who unconditionally believe every word he has told them. Christian is still quite emotional and Grace once again pulls him into another embrace.

Our attention is drawn to the door as Kate and Elliot appear; Kate looks around the room in surprise. Christian stands and looks at Elliot.

"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here? What's happened?" Elliot asks, and then he stares at Christian and it is obvious he has never seen him this emotional before.

"Kate, would you mind giving us a moment with my brother?" Christian asks politely as he quickly pulls himself together. Kate looks at me and then nods.

"Sure" she says and disappears down the corridor to her bedroom.

"What's going on?" Elliot asks as he takes in everyone in the room once more.

"Come and sit down darling" Grace says patting the seat next to her on the sofa she has just returned to.

Elliot sits down and Christian quickly outlines what they know about Elena/Sybil. Elliot's mouth drops open.

"Fuck... sorry mom, I always knew there was something about her that wasn't right, she came on to me when I was about 13/14ish but I pushed her away and she backed right off" he says. Grace gasps at this.

"How could I have been so clueless? She just used me to get close to my children and I let her" she says.

I nod, "she was a predator, they are clever at what they do" I say sadly.

Elliot seems to realise something, you can almost see the moment when he puts two and two together and he looks up at Christian the realisation on his face. Christian looks at his brother and then lowers his head. I see horrified realisation dawning on Elliot's face.

"Bro, oh shit bro, did she? why the fuck didn't you say anything?!" Elliot exclaims, he stands and pulls Christian up and drags him by the arm towards him and wraps his muscular arm around Christians shoulder. I am surprised that Christian lets him.

"What did she do to you bro?" he whispers nervously, but Christian shakes his head.

"Not now" he says quietly in Elliot's ear, Elliot glances quickly at Grace and Carrick.

"Yeah ok" he says just as quietly.

Christian pulls away, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't discuss this with Mia or Kate for obvious reasons" he says, and Elliot nods.

"Whatever you say bro" Elliot agrees.

I lean forward and offer my opinion at this point. "Actually Christian, Kate would be a good ally to have" I put in, Christian turns and looks at me questioningly, but he is also shaking his head.

"Just think about it a moment" I urge and grasp his hand "She is in the media, she has many contacts and sources available who could help dig for more dirt on Elena and help you and Gideon build your case against her. She would also be a powerful ally to expose Elena when the time comes" I say. I can almost see Gideon's mind working as he listens to what I am saying.

"Kate Kavanagh... as in Kavanagh Media?" he says.

I nod, "Her father owns Kavanagh Media" I say.

Gideon looks at Christian and smiles, "Ana is a very smart woman" he turns back to me, "But can we trust Kate?" he asks.

I nod my head emphatically, "I'd trust her with my life" I say with no hesitation.

Gideon looks at Christian his eyebrows raised and in turn Christian nods and turns to Elliot, without a word being spoken between the three men, Elliot nods and goes to fetch Kate and soon she is sitting listening to a brief outline of the events of today. Christian doesn't mention anything about his own past with Elena but what has been said makes Kate look horrified.

"Jeez Grey, you do pick your friends," she says to Christian.

Christian lowers his head again and Kate's mouth drops open, "Oh my god, she didn't?" she says.

"Kate" I warn.

"Oh god Christian I am so sorry" she says, then her eyes harden and she looks straight at Christian, "What can I do to help?" she says.

Christian smiles, "We are not sure yet, but Ana seems convinced you would have a role to play, I don't need to tell you that everything that you now know is totally off the record" he adds.

She looks at him clearly offended, "I'm not stupid" she snaps.

"Kate" I say again.

She sighs, "I'm sorry, of course I realise that, nothing will leave this room from me" she says firmly.

"Thank you Kate" Christian says with relief.

He then turns to Gideon and they stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder. I look at them and they really are oddly alike in their mannerisms and behaviour as their equilibrium has now fully returned. All the vulnerability and emotion is now gone from both men and the transformation is stark and the change in them is jarring, they are both now in full CEO mode, taking control and working out a plan of action.

Christian speaks first as he looks around the room and quickly assumes control. "I will call a meeting with Welch my security advisor and Taylor and get the ball rolling, Welch can start digging and see what he can find on her" he pauses and looks at Gideon.

"If you get your people doing the same, and we will meet and work out a plan of action, in the meantime it seems like she wants to antagonise Ana. So Ana you proceed with your plans for the move to New York as my number one priority in all this is to keep you and my baby safe from her, and so it is fortunate that you were planning this move," Gideon nods and immediately pulls out his phone, I just grin at him and next he looks at Kate.

"Kate, if you could start digging and finding out what you can in your media circle contacts, anything would be useful, details of stories of paedophile rings exposed and dig around a bit and see if she was linked to any, another point to consider is that there may be other aliases and with her BDSM contacts she managed to wriggle out of any arrest in New York so see if anything similar comes up anywhere else. New York may not have been her only haunt besides Seattle, as I say there may be other aliases so any potential similarities make a note of them to be investigated. It also might be an idea to visit some of the BDSM clubs and ask a few subtle questions about her. Elliot you could perhaps help Kate with that".

Both Elliot and Kate nod and Kate fetches a note book and pen from a drawer and starts making notes. Christian looks at Carrick next, "Dad, I'll need you to help us put together an airtight case against her" then he turns to Gideon, "Do you need my dad to help you?" he asks.

Gideon shakes his head, "It's too late for me, I was 13 years old so the Statute of Limitations ran out a long while ago. I got my justice the day Hugh killed himself and I got my revenge on Terry Lucas" he says darkly.

"Who is Terry Lucas?" Grace asks as though she recognises the name.

"The paediatrician" Gideon says spitting the word derisively.

Grace gasps, "Terry Lucas? Seriously, no oh my god, not that Terry Lucas?" this revelation seems to hit Grace hard and I realise quickly that she must know him or at least know of him. I watch as she quickly pulls herself together again and a fierce expression fills her face.

"I also have a role to play" she says fiercely and everyone looks at her, "I can ruin Elena's business, a few well placed words in the right ears and her beauty salons will be out of business within a month" she says confidently.

I watch Christian grin and Elliot snigger as Grace continues, "She was tolerated by my social circle because of my friendship with her and she has benefited greatly from it over the years. It seems only fitting I should be the one to take it away from her after what she has done to my son and what her associates have done to his friend".

Gideon just looks amazed that Grace is defending him and Christian nods, "Ok mom that can be your job, but can you give me a couple of days to remove myself from her businesses before you start to do that, I'll call my lawyers first thing tomorrow and gift the salons to her" he says.

"Gift them?" I snort incredulously at him, wondering how and why he could do such a thing.

"Yes", he says patiently "that way they will be listed solely as her assets and if my mother succeeds in ruining those said assets Elena will be bankrupt because as far as I am aware, she doesn't have any other income. Not any which she would want to declare anyway and then if... no when she is exposed as a paedophile and BDSM whore you will see just how quickly people will distance themselves from her and she'll be finished. So it will be worth losing the money I invested in them" he says confidently.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

_Two weeks later…_

Two weeks later and I am at a rainy Sea Tac surrounded by my friends and family. One of Gideon's planes is waiting on the tarmac for me. I glance at it and see it is plane number three the same one which brought me home to Seattle from New York previously.

First of all I hug Ray tightly, "Call me when you get there and make sure you keep yourself and my grandbaby safe" he says.

"I will" I say.

We haven't told Ray about the developments with Elena or everything that has gone on, as far as Ray understands I am still simply taking the new job which Gideon offered and which happens to be based in New York. He is also aware that Christian has now come around about the baby and he wants to be involved. He also knows that he and I are slowly reconciling but that I am still going ahead with my plan to work in New York as a way to bolster my own career before I have the baby and it also gives us space to sort ourselves out to figure out what we want from each other and how we see our relationship develop. He thinks we are both very sensible and he is encouraging our decision.

I turn to Kate next who is quietly crying, and I wrap my arms around her, "Come on Kate stop that" I say, and she smiles bravely through the tears and sniffs.

"Call me too" she says.

I nod, "I will, and just think of all the shopping you can do when you come and visit me" I say with a grin.

Kate laughs, "Ok I will" she says. She steps back and Elliot pulls me towards him.

"Take care Ana," he whispers in my ear and I smile at him.

Next are Grace and Carrick who both hug me and wish me luck, and finally I turn to Christian who is standing looking his usual gorgeous impassive self. I can also tell he is keeping all his emotions tightly reigned in so don't say anything, I simply walk into his arms and he holds me tightly, he kisses the top of my head gently and he is reluctant to let me go.

"It goes without saying that you will call me as soon as you land" he demands, I smile up at him and nod.

He smiles back at me, "I will see you next weekend, I'm flying out to New York as I have some business I need to attend to there and while I am in New York I am going to catch up with Gideon and find out the latest on what he has unearthed on Elena".

"Ok" I say, I squeeze him and he looks at me, I as he does so I reach up and touch his face, "Keep talking to John Flynn" I whisper and he nods.

This past fortnight has been wonderful, since the revelation and everything coming out into the open Christian has been a different person, he has been much more open and forthcoming. He is working hard to accept the baby and I even attended a session with him and Dr Flynn where we talked through his fears about fatherhood. Christian is in a good place at the moment and part of me doesn't want to leave him, but ironically it is Christian now insisting that I go to New York, as he is terrified that Elena will try something to harm me and the baby, and he just wants us safe.

I kiss him softly on the lips. "Be good" I whisper and he gives me a shy smile.

"Always" he whispers back to me. I pull away and turn around.

"Well I suppose I'd better go then" I say to everyone and as I turn to leave I see Taylor standing apart waiting for Christian by the SUV. I had said goodbye to Gail the day before and now I want to say goodbye to Jason. I leave Christian and walk over to him.

"Miss Steele" he says stoically.

I don't answer him but fling my arms around him which seems to surprise him slightly, and he awkwardly pats my back.

"Look after him and keep him safe" I whisper in his ear. He nods once but doesn't say anything, but as I move away he clears his throat and then opens his mouth to speak.

"Miss Steele, when you arrive in New York you will be met by Luke Sawyer, he with be your personal CPO for the duration of your time in New York. Mr Grey has liaised with Mr Cross on this matter and they both feel it is prudent to install Sawyer as indications are Mrs Lincoln may still have contacts in New York and considering how she feels about you it would be foolish not to have some sort of protection in place".

I sigh at this revelation as I think it is almost overkill and Christian being over protective but I don't say anything and just nod my acceptance. If it makes him feel better I will pick my battles and not complain about it.

"Ok" I say simply and with a sense of resignation, Taylor gives me a small smile as I'm sure the expression on my face tells him exactly what I am thinking.

"Thank you Miss Steele and good luck, and if you need anything you have my number so don't hesitate to call me" Taylor says.

"Thank you Taylor… for everything" I say and look at him meaningfully. With that I turn and return to Christian, "so this is it then, I'd better get going" I say brightly.

"What were you talking to Taylor about?" Christian asks.

"My new CPO who I have waiting for me in New York courtesy of you and Gideon" I say with my eyebrows raised.

Christian has the grace to look slightly embarrassed, "Oh yes, I forgot to mention that" he says.

I pat his cheek playfully, "Well never mind, I'll forgive you... just this once" I say.

I see his lips twitch as he suppresses his amusement. With that I turn and climb the steps of the plane, at the top I turn and wave to everyone and head inside.

**oooOOOooo**

When we land in New York Gideon is waiting for me with a man standing beside him. I climb down the steps and Gideon hugs me and kisses my cheek gently.

"Hi, good flight?" he asks as he embraces me and presses a small kiss to my cheek.

I nod, "Yes thank you" I reply.

Gideon turns and waves his hand at the man beside him, "Ana, this is Luke Sawyer. He was handpicked by Taylor for you". I turn to the young man standing next to Gideon.

"Hello Luke, how are you?" I say politely.

He shakes hands with me, "Hello Ma'am I'm fine thank you" he says stiffly.

I inwardly cringe as he calls me ma'am; I am definitely going to have to put a stop to that.

We climb into a waiting car and Gideon takes me to my new apartment. There had been an almighty row over this, when Gideon had found me an apartment in one of his apartment blocks and then he had taken it on himself to pay my first month's rent. I had gone ballistic when I found out about that, much to Christian's amusement and I had torn Gideon off a strip. To his credit he had taken my issues on board and consulted me when dealing with the furnishings and the cost and suppliers of them. Christian had also offered to help me out with the cost of furnishing my apartment, and in the end I had accepted his help on the condition that it was a loan and I would pay him back.

When we arrive I gasp. I am officially in complete shock as it is huge and very beautiful. I wonder how the hell I am going to afford the rent on this place in a prime Manhattan setting. As if Gideon reads my mind he whispers in my ear.

"Your salary as a fiction editor at Cross Publishing is more than adequate to pay for this place" he says. I wander around totally speechless but I also wonder if I am getting 'mate's rates' rent as well considering Gideon owns this building. I put that thought out of my mind as I remember I need to call everyone. I quickly send a text to Kate and Ray, it is just a quick message to let them know that I have landed safely, and then I call Christian. He answers on the first ring.

"Ana" he says.

"Hi, I'm here I'm safe and I have met Luke" I say.

"Good, have you eaten?" he asks.

I roll my eyes, "yes I had breakfast before I left Seattle and a snack on the plane" I say.

I am eager to explore my surroundings, and so I quickly wrap up my call to Christian.

Gideon gives me a swift kiss on the cheek. "I need to go; I have a meeting in 20 minutes. If I don't go now I'll be late, so settle in and you start tomorrow morning 9am sharp I'll meet you at the Crossfire. Ok?" he says.

I nod and smile, "Yep, I'll see you then" I say and with that he is gone. I suddenly feel very alone, as I stand by myself in the corridor of this huge apartment. I hear a cough behind me and turn to see Luke waiting.

"Erm Miss Steele, can you point out which room will be mine?" he asks obviously embarrassed, I smile at him.

"Sure, and… just one thing, you know we are stuck with each other for the foreseeable future so please call me Ana and never ever call me ma'am" I reply.

Luke nods and gives me a small smile. He follows me around the apartment as I check out all the rooms and pick which one I prefer for me and then I tell Luke to pick whichever of the remaining two he prefers as his. He immediately heads for the one immediately opposite mine.

I walk around, still a little in awe of the fact this is actually my apartment. There is a buzzing sound and I follow it to a telephone mounted on the wall and pick it up.

"Hello" I say warily.

"Miss Steele?" a disembodied voice asks.

"Yes" I say uncertainly. I sense that Luke is hovering nearby and listening carefully.

"This Mike at the front desk, we have a delivery here for you. Would you like to come and collect it or shall I send it up to your apartment?"

"Oh, I'll come down" I say immediately, "Thank you" I add quickly before I hang up.

"Luke" I call.

He pokes his head out of his room, "yes" he says.

"I'm just going down to the front desk, as apparently there is a delivery for me" I say.

He nods and follows me, I am a little surprised but I suppose considering he is my CPO he will be following me around everywhere and it is something I will just have to get used to.

I head downstairs and to the desk. "Hi, I'm Ana Steele. Someone called Mike just rang to say there was a delivery for me?" I ask.

The young man behind the desk beams at me, "Yes Miss Steele, I'm Mike and I'll just go and fetch it" I watch him walk over to a door and open it and return with a huge bouquet of flowers and I smile as I take them.

"Thank you" I say I take the card and read it. It doesn't surprise me to discover that they are from Christian. I shake my head and pulling my phone from my pocket I quickly text him.

_**Flowers arrived - they are beautiful, thank you. A x**_

I return to my apartment and put them in water and I feel my phone vibrate, I look and its a response from Christian, I smile as I read it.

_**You are welcome, but I bet they are not as beautiful as you. C x**_

I shake my head and push the phone back into my pocket. I decide I want to explore the neighbourhood and so I call Luke and explain my intentions. He nods and grabs his jacket. As we head downstairs in silence I start to try and make conversation with him as it's going to be awkward if we don't form some sort of friendly rapport.

"So Luke how did you get this job?" I ask.

He glances at me, "Taylor" he says, he pauses and then continues to explain. "He and I go way back, he's an old military buddy of mine. He left the military and I stayed in until now of course, when I was discharged he heard I was out and looking for work and he called me," he says but doesn't offer any more than that.

"Do you have any family Luke?" I ask.

He nods, "my mom lives in Chicago with my step dad and my sister lives here in New York with her husband. I don't know my dad as he left when I was a baby and my mom raised us alone, until she met Eric, so he is the only father I have ever known".

"Do you get along?" I ask curious to discover if he has a good relationship with his step father which leads me on to think of Ray and my heart lurches slightly.

He shrugs, "Most of the time" he says.

I smile, "I was raised by a step father. Ray is the only father I have ever known, my dad died the day after I was born, and Ray is my rock" I say. I feel a surge of homesickness at the thought of Ray the other side of the country.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters Ana?" Luke asks and I shake my head.

"Nope, just me" I say.

Luke and I spend the afternoon exploring New York and as we get used to each other he seems to relax a little, not totally as it is his job to be on full alert but his attitude towards me isn't so stiff and starchy as it was when I first met him. I time my journey to the Crossfire where Cross Publishing is situated and I check out local cafe's and supermarkets and even pick up a few essential groceries. I make sure I tell Luke to add anything he particularly likes to the cart. When we take the groceries back to the apartment I decide I'd like to take a walk through Central Park, and after I've put away the shopping we set out and go into the park which is quite close by and Luke and I set off through the trees.

"This is nice" I say absently.

"It is" Luke agrees, as we complete the circuit and emerge back near the apartment block I see a man getting into a taxi and I freeze stopping dead at the sight of him. Luke sees my reaction and is immediately on alert.

"What is it?" he asks immediately scanning the area.

"That man" I whisper, terror surging through me. I feel sick and I turn and vomit into a nearby waste bin.

Luke looks at me with concern, "Are you ok?" he asks, I nod as I continue to wretch into the bin.

"Yes I just want to go home" I say eventually.

He nods and we head back to the apartment. Luke disappears and moments later my phone rings. It's Christian.

"Ana are you alright?" I hear his anxious voice and I know Luke has informed Taylor of my reaction to the man I saw.

"I'm fine honestly" I say, "I just thought I saw someone I knew that's all and it took me by surprise."

"You're sure you're ok?" Christian persists.

"Yes honestly I'm fine" I say.

"Ok" he says now satisfied that I am telling him the truth.

"Please Christian don't do this every time you hear something" I say.

"I know, Taylor just said Luke had called him that's all, he also said you had been ill so I was worried."

I smile and shake my head, "Well thank you for your concern, but as you know I am pregnant so I will get ill from time to time, because you also know my morning sickness has no sense of timing" I say gently.

"I know, but I was worried" he insists, he pause a moment "call me later for a chat?" he adds.

"Ok, I will" I say. I kill the call and go in search of Luke. I find him in the kitchen rummaging in the fridge.

"Luke, please don't get reporting every little thing to Taylor, as he tells Christian and then Christian calls me in a panic. Unless it's vital just update him once a day, I don't want to be getting calls from Christian every time I sneeze!"

"Ok I agree with that but level with me, what got you so scared?" he asks.

I sigh and think for a moment, he is here to protect me so I should keep him informed. "I saw a man, who looked like one of my mother's ex husbands" I say.

"How many has she had?" Luke asks.

I snort, "She is currently on husband number four" I say. His mouth drops open, but he quickly recovers as I continue, "I thought that man looked like husband number three, Stephen Morton, and he was not a good person" I say.

"Did he hurt you?" Luke asks, I nod but don't say anything more.

"You are afraid of him?" he asks bluntly and I nod again. "What did he do to you?" he asks.

I look up at him tears in my eyes and shake my head, "Bad things, he physically, verbally and sexually abused me" I say. I see Luke straighten up.

"I will need to tell Taylor this" he says firmly.

I shake my head, "I haven't seen Stephen Morton since I was 15, that guy was quite a way away. I can't be sure, he just reminded me of him and the chances are I will never see him again. Please don't worry Taylor with this, he has enough on his plate with this business with Elena" I say.

Luke looks torn in the end I make the decision for him, "I tell you what, I'll tell Taylor" I say firmly.

"I will also tell him there is a very good chance I was mistaken and not to be concerned about it and I'll tell him definitely not to tell Christian" I say.

Luke looks relieved and nods he also offers a small smile. I smile back as I pull my phone from my pocket and call Taylor.

"Hi Taylor" I say brightly as he picks up my call.

"Miss Steele is everything ok?" he asks, I hear Christian's voice in the background and then a scuffling sound.

"Ana, what's wrong?" Christian's panicked voice comes to me.

"Christian, what the hell are you doing?" I say "I was calling Taylor not you. Nothing is wrong everything is fine, and I need to speak to Taylor about something that's all. So give him his damn phone back" I demand sharply.

I hear more scuffling and then Taylor's voice comes to me over the line. "Miss Steele what can I do for you?" he asks evenly.

"Ok, am I on speaker because if I am please take me off now" I say.

"You are not on speaker Miss Steele" Taylor replies.

"But Christian is still there listening isn't he?" I say.

"Yes" comes the response.

Ok, well I am going to talk and tell you something and I don't want a huge thing made of this, as it's really not worth it so please don't say anything to Christian, ok?" I say.

"Ok" comes the clipped reply.

"Good, right first of all Luke and I have talked and unless something really, really bad happens he will update you once a day in the evening, because I don't want my every move reported back to Seattle and I definitely don't want Christian calling me twenty times an hour in a panic every time Luke tells you something". I pause and I hear Taylor sigh.

"I can understand that and I am happy with that arrangement" he says calmly.

"Good, right then the incident earlier when I was ill it was because I saw someone I thought I recognised but – and I can't stress this strongly enough, I can't be sure it was who I thought it was so as I say I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I have told Luke who I thought it could have been, but it could quite easily have been an innocent man so I don't want any fuss made, also I don't want Christian to know because he will only freak out about it. Ok?" I say.

"Ok, but tell me now" Taylor says.

I sigh "I thought I saw my mothers ex husband, Stephen Morton and it scared me for a moment, it scared me because he did bad things to me when I was a kid. I haven't seen him since I was 15 so I can't be sure that this man I saw was him and I really don't want Christian over reacting about it".

There is a silence then Taylor speaks again, "Ok, what sort of things" he says neutrally.

"He physically, verbally and sexually abused me" I say there is another silence.

"Ok thanks but..." he says.

I know he is going to insist on telling Christian so I interrupt him, "No, Taylor, he has enough on his plate at the moment, he doesn't need this. I'm not 100% sure and we both know that he will over react. So you leave me no choice here, if you tell him I won't co-operate with Luke" I say and I feel bad practically blackmailing Taylor like this but I really don't want Christian worrying.

I hear Taylor sigh.

"Christian is still there listening isn't he?" I ask.

"Yes" he replies.

"Ok promise me you won't tell Christian about this please Taylor, I mean it I won't co-operate if you tell him" I beg.

"I won't, thanks for calling Miss Steele" he says stiffly and I can tell he's not happy about this.

"Thank you Taylor, I'll let you go" I say gratefully.

"Goodbye Miss Steele" Taylor replies and the line goes dead. I turn and see Luke standing watching.

"Well Taylor knows now, Christian was there so he couldn't say much" I say. Luke nods. Moments later my phone rings and its Christian.

"Are you sure everything is ok Ana?" he asks.

I roll my eyes, "Yes Christian, honestly I'm fine. I just arranged with Taylor that Luke will call him once a day in the evening to update him on the events of the day..."

"But" Christian interrupts.

I raise my voice and talk over the interruption, "UNLESS, unless something really bad happens then obviously he will call straight way" I stop and wait for the explosion but it doesn't come.

"I'm not happy about that Ana" he says quietly, a little too quietly for my liking.

"Well live with it, because I don't want you calling me in a panic every time I pick my nose" I say firmly.

I hear a small snort of laughter, "Good point well made Miss Steele!" he says in a warmer tone. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"Not sure, I am going to check out the hospital and make an appointment with the gynaecologist who Grace recommended" I say.

"Well keep Luke close" Christian says.

"I will, and will you stop worrying about me, I'm fine" I say.

We end our call and I spend the rest of the day arranging my belongings around the apartment and then I go out and I head to the hospital to make an appointment with a doctor Grace recommended, apparently it is someone she trained with and while Grace went into paediatrics, this doctor went into gynaecology. To my surprise, I manage to secure a last minute cancellation appointment in 20 minutes time so I sit and wait, Luke sits beside me.

"Sorry about this" I mutter.

He looks at me in surprise, "Why, what about?" he asks.

"This can't be the best job in the world, sitting around baby sitting me all day" I say.

He smiles at me, "That's for me to worry about not you" he says.

I am called in and I meet a kind looking doctor and she holds her hand out to me. "Miss Steele good to meet you I'm Dr Henderson" I smile and relax immediately.

"So what can I do for you today?" she asks.

"Well Dr Grace Trevelyan-Grey recommended you, I have just moved to New York from Seattle and I am pregnant" I say.

"Oh" Dr Henderson says.

"Have you had confirmation of the pregnancy or had any examinations in Seattle?" she asks.

I shake my head.

"Ok then well first things first we need confirmation, she hands me a small pot and points to the bathroom I go and pee in the pot and return, she puts a small stick in and it turns blue.

"Well you are definitely pregnant, lets give you a scan and see how far along you are" we move into another room and she asks me questions about my period and birth control.

"Does dad want to come in and see the scan?" she asks.

I look at her blankly and then remember Luke in the waiting room, I shake my head.

"He's not the father, he is just a friend of mine who gave me a lift here" I say.

"Oh I see, is the father involved?" she asks.

I nod my head and smile, "Yes he lives in Seattle, but he is involved" I say.

"So tell me how do you know Grace?" Dr Henderson asks.

I take a deep breath, "She is going to be my baby's grandmother" I say, Dr Henderson nearly drops the ultra sound wand in surprise.

"So you must be Elliot's girlfriend?" she says.

I shake my head, "No I'm Christian's" I say, smiling at the thought.

Dr Henderson stares at me in disbelief and I feel a pang of loneliness and I want nothing more for Christian to be here with me so I decide to do the next best thing, I want Christian involved in this and so I call him.

"Ana are you ok?" he asks as soon as he answers.

"Hi Christian, I'm fine. Listen, do you have a few moments if so put me on Facetime, I'm at the hospital about to have my first scan" I say.

"Wait a moment" he says and I hear him speak to someone, I immediately feel guilty for disturbing his day.

"You weren't in the middle of something important were you? I ask.

"Nothing is more important than you and our baby" he says warmly and I feel my heart leap at those words, as they tell me that he is really coming around to the idea. There is silence for a moment then I hear his voice again, "Ok" he says and we set up the Facetime, moments later his face appears on the screen of my phone.

I smile as I see him, "Hi" I say.

"Hi baby" he replies.

I turn the screen to face Dr Henderson "Christian this is Dr Henderson, Grace gave me her name" I say.

I hear Christian say hello to Dr Henderson and then I turn the phone back to me. "Why are you having a scan now is everything ok?" he asks.

I smile at him reassuringly, "yes I came to make an appointment like I told you and they managed to get me in today on a last minute cancellation so I took it" I say.

Dr Henderson inserts a wand inside me and moves it around, I glance up at the screen and I don't see anything. I turn the phone to face the screen.

"Can you see it Christian?" I ask.

"Yes" he replies.

Dr Henderson points to the screen, "Do you see this area here that is the amniotic sack and that little blip there in the centre is your baby. I would estimate that you are approximately 6/7 weeks pregnant so it's very early days" she smiles at the phone screen and then at me.

"Ana" I hear Christian's voice and I turn the screen to face me and I see he has tears in his eyes. "Make sure you get a photograph" he says, his voice tight with emotion and I nod.

"Of course I will" I say.

"Listen baby, I have to go now, I'm needed in a meeting" he says, "Thank you for including me" he adds.

I smile at him, "I would never knowingly exclude you Christian, this is your baby as much as mine" I say. He smiles at me and for the first time I see wonder on his face rather than sheer panic.

"I'll talk to you later baby" he says, "don't forget my picture" he adds.

"I won't... Erm, Christian" I say.

"Yes" he replies.

"I love you" I say. I see his eyes widen and he takes a sharp breath in and then he looks straight at me.

"I... I love you too" he whispers.

I feel the tears starting to prick against my eye lids, "I'll let you get on with your work" I say blinking furiously to stop the tears from falling.

We end the call and I realise that I am alone; Dr Henderson had discreetly left the room when I was talking to Christian. I quickly put myself straight and head back into the other room.

"Sorry about that" I say in embarrassment.

Dr Henderson smiles at me, "No need to apologise dear, its nice to see two young people so in love" she says.

She hands me a pile of paperwork, leaflets and vitamins and then on the top are two copies of the precious ultrasound, I immediately take a photo of one and send it to Christian's phone, and then carefully put the pictures in my purse to give to Christian when I see him next.

I go to the desk to pay for my consultation, and am shocked when the girl tells me there is nothing to pay, as I have never had any real health insurance before I am confused and question this.

She taps on the screen and reads the information.

"You have the top level health insurance in place, which covers... well, everything, and it was set up two weeks ago in Seattle, by a Mr C Grey" she says and looks at me questioningly.

I smile at her, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise he'd done that" I say as I put my card back into my purse.

"Not a problem, have a nice day" she says.

"Thank you" I reply and I turn to leave. Luke is waiting for me and we leave the hospital.

"Is everything ok Ana?" he asks.

"Yes it is" I say, I pull out the picture and show him pointing out the tiny blip on the screen; he stares at it and shakes his head.

"Hard to believe that will turn into a human being" he says.

We head back to the apartment and I have just sat down with a mug of tea when there is a knock at my apartment door. I stand to go and answer it and Luke rises and holds me back.

"The desk should have called up to inform you of visitors" he says with a frown and with that he goes to the door and answers it, immediately stepping aside to let the person outside come in.

I watch as Gideon strides in beaming at me. "Ana how are you?" he asks.

"I'm good thank you and I'm all settled in, been shopping, explored the local area and been to the hospital and had my first scan" I say.

"Really?" he asks, "Did you get a picture?" he adds.

I nod and rummage once more for the picture and show him my little blip. He stares at the picture, "That's amazing!" he says marvelling at it.

"It is, and thanks to modern technology Christian was right there with me" I say.

Gideon raises his eyebrows in question at me.

I nod, "yes, I called him and put him on Facetime, so he saw everything I saw" I say.

"You really love him don't you?" Gideon says quietly.

I nod, "yes I do" I admit. I look carefully at Gideon and wonder if this will affect our friendship. He stares at me for a moment, and then pulls me into his arms.

"Don't worry I can live with just being friends with you, you are a wonderful woman and I would be stupid to try for more and spoiling what we have".

I look up at him and gently touch his face, "Gideon, you are a good man and out there someone is waiting for you. I believe there is someone for everyone in this world, but I also believe Christian is my soul mate as there is something special there which I can't describe. Even when he is severely pissing me off and behaving like an asshole that something is still there between us. I didn't realise it at the time, but now we have put the distance between us I know it straight away and you will find that one day when you least expect it" I say.

Gideon smiles but it isn't a genuine one and I know that he doesn't believe a word of it.

"If you say so" he says sadly, then shaking off the sadness he looks at me "Ready for tomorrow?" he asks brightly.

I am surprised at the abrupt change of direction and mood but I go along with it and I nod, "I am, I'm quite nervous but excited too" I say.

"Well, I was hoping I could take you out to dinner and discuss what your role would be and who you will be working with and what my expectations are?" he asks.

"Sure" I reply, I glance at Luke and he nods.

"Let's go then" Gideon says and gestures towards the door.

"But I'm not dressed for dinner" I say.

"You look beautiful" he replies, and with that we leave my apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

The next morning I head for the Crossfire accompanied by Luke and I am feeling very nervous, not to mention quite sick as well. Luke drops me off and goes to park the car, as I enter the Crossfire I pause and take in all its opulent splendour. It is equally impressive on the inside as it is on the outside. As I look around taking it all in, I see Gideon standing talking to a security guard. He looks my way and he smiles widely at me and he quickly excuses himself and walks towards me.

"Ana" he says and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Good morning Gideon" I say, he looks at me closely and frowns.

"Are you ok? You look quite pale," he says with obvious concern.

I nod, "I'm feeling quite nervous about today, but I'm also feeling a bit sick – morning sickness has actually been happening in the morning today for once, but I'm absolutely fine" I say and I plaster a brave smile on my face.

I pat his arm, "honestly" I add at his dubious expression.

Gideon appears to take my word for it and introduces me to the security guard who gives me my security badge which he tells me I will need to produce to get through the turnstile in front of us near the elevator. I nod my understanding and thank him.

Gideon then leads me to the elevator and we wait for the doors to open. When a car finally does arrive Gideon turns and grins smugly at me before he pulls some sort of key from his pocket and pushes it into a slot in the panel.

"Watch this" he says. Immediately I see all the lights on the panel go out apart from the very top floor.

"One of the perks of owning the building - an uninterrupted ride" he says with a satisfied smile. He reaches into his pocket and hands me a similar key and winks at me.

"Thank you" I say as I examine it before pushing it into my purse.

"You are welcome, all you have to do is push it into here like I have done with this one and you will have a direct route to the top, it won't stop at any of the other floors and the same if you use it from the top, all the lights will go out and give you a direct route to the ground," he explains.

When the doors open we are in a large impressive foyer with huge security doors and the words Cross Industries which are engraved into the glass jump at me.

"Wow" I mutter.

Gideon places his hand at the bottom of my back and guides me towards the doors, he is instantly buzzed in and he pauses to nod at the receptionist who greets him enthusiastically before he escorts me down a corridor. We turn left and I see a second reception area with an equally grand sign behind the desk saying Cross Publishing (New York). The girl behind the desk looks up and beams at Gideon and then at me.

"Good morning Sir" she says politely and then she addresses me, "Good morning, you must be Ana Steele" she says kindly.

"Yes I am, " I say nervously.

"Ana, this is Maxine, if you want to know anything about Cross Publishing she is the person to ask, as nothing gets past Maxine" Gideon says.

I watch as Maxine flushes with obvious pride at Gideon's words.

Moments later a tall grey haired man appears and Gideon greets him warmly. "Andrew, good morning, this is Ana who I told you about" he says as he pulls me forward.

"Pleased to meet you Ana" Andrew says kindly and he holds out his hand to me.

"Likewise" I say politely as I accept the handshake.

Gideon turns towards me. "Ana, Andrew is who you will be replacing when he retires in a couple of months time and in the mean time he is going to mentor you and bring you up to speed with how we do things here at CP. I'm sure you will soon fall into the way we do it as it can't be that different from SIP - just on a much bigger scale."

I nod my understanding and Andrew gives me genuine welcoming smile which immediately sets me at ease and calms my nervousness.

"Ok Ana if you want to follow me we'll get you settled in your office and we can make a start" he says.

"Ok then," I take a deep breath, and turn to Gideon, "Thank you Gideon" I say and he smiles at me.

He waves his hand in a dismissive gesture as if he is wafting my words aside, "You are more than welcome. I'll pop by at lunchtime and see how you are getting on, but I have to go now" he says.

"Ok" I say and with that he kisses me swiftly and then turns and is gone.

I take a deep breath, ok this is it. "Ok Andrew, lead the way" I say brightly.

My morning goes quickly and I am kept busy, really busy, Gideon was right it is pretty much the same as SIP just bigger. I am one of four fiction editors, besides me is Andrew of course but I don't count him. Then there is Paul, Damien and Karen. They all seem friendly enough and they all make the effort to be nice. Andrew is a lovely man and I warmed to his genuinely kind easy going nature immediately, Paul is a joker and I sense the Karen is a gossip and could be spiteful if pushed but it is Damien who is raising some real red flags as I am getting some very strange vibes from him, which are setting off my internal alarms and putting me on edge, he also reminds me of someone but for the life of me I can't figure out who.

Andrew puts me with each of the editors to learn the system and how things are done and when I am with Karen I venture to ask a question.

"Erm Karen, Gideon told me that there were two editors who were retiring within the next six months when he offered me this job, but Paul and Damien and you of course don't seem old enough to be retiring?" I stop and wait.

Karen laughs, "No that would be Norma he was talking about. She was due to retire first, but they ended up carrying her out in a box last Friday, bless her."

"Oh I'm sorry" I say shocked.

Karen shakes her head, "No don't be, it was sad she should go that way don't get me wrong but she was an evil cow and nobody liked her, in fact we were all shocked she died of a heart attack as we were all convinced she didn't have a heart".

"Oh" I say not knowing quite what to say to that.

Karen continues oblivious to my surprise at what she has just said, "Andrew on the other hand is a complete sweetheart, everyone will miss him when he leaves" she adds.

"Has Norma been replaced?" I ask.

Karen nods, "Yes someone internally has been promoted to take her authors as that's the way it's normally done. We were all surprised when his lordship said he was bringing in someone new, but from what I have seen this morning you are pretty sharp so I guess he knew what he was doing when he hired you. Norma's replacement should be up on the editor's floor within the next couple of weeks".

I don't say anything else and I just pay attention to what I am being shown. I carry on working methodically through the tasks I have been given and nothing I have done appears to be too taxing and is very like what I did at SIP but Gideon wasn't kidding when he said it was on a much bigger scale. I am kept busy until I hear someone speak my name, and as I look up and see Gideon standing behind me.

"How are you getting on?" he asks.

"Fine, they are letting me loose on some manuscripts this afternoon" I say with a grin.

"Are you ready for some lunch?" Gideon asks.

I glance at my watch and I am surprised to note the time, the morning has flown past.

"Sure" I reply, "Just give me a second to finish this" I say and return to the title I am inputting on to the system, I hit the enter key and then log off.

"There done" I say with a satisfied sigh. I grab my purse and stand up, as I do so I go a little dizzy and Gideon grabs my arm.

"Are you alright?" he asks, I nod.

"Yes this seems to be happening regularly recently, another one of the side effect of this" I say touching my stomach.

Gideon leads me out of the office and down the corridor to the Cross Publishing reception where he turns down another corridor and in front of me I see numerous cubicles and as we walk past them people stare. We turn a corner and I see a young man who stands as soon as he sees Gideon and smile politely at me.

"Ana this is Scott my assistant, so if you ever call the office number that I gave you, it will be Scott who you are put through to, Scott this is Ana Steele she has joined us from Seattle independent Publishers and is working over at Cross Publishing. She will be taking Andrew's place when he retires". Scott beams at me and holds out his hand to me.

"Pleased to meet you Miss Steele" he says politely.

"Hi, please call me Ana" I say.

Gideon gestures towards a huge and very impressive glass walled office before he returns his attention back to Scott.

"Hold my calls Scott" he pauses as Scott nods, "Unless Christian Grey calls, I will take that as am expecting him to call me at some point today. If he does put him through, but no-one else" he says.

"Yes Sir" Scott replies.

I smile instinctively at the mention of Christian and I realise he hasn't called me yet today, it seems he really is making an effort not to be too overbearing and over protective. Yet perversely I feel a twinge of sadness that he hasn't called. I quickly put it from my mind as I walk into Gideon's office and gasp at the sheer scale of it. I thought Christian's office was big and impressive but this is something else, this can only be described as spectacular. I take in his custom built desk and the TV screens covering one wall showing a continuous feed of share prices. Everything is either black, grey or white and the only colour comes from the television screens. Gideon presses a button on his desk and the glass wall separating him from the rest of the office is immediately frosted. My eyes widen in surprise as I watch it happen.

"How did you do that?" I ask as I point to the now opaque glass wall.

Gideon grins, "Magic!" he says and then he leads me over to some very comfortable looking sofas.

"Sit down Ana, I have some lunch for us" he says pointing to a catered buffet.

We sit and talk, I tell him about my morning and how I am enjoying what I am doing. Suddenly Gideon puts down his food on his plate and looks at me seriously.

"Ana, I had a phone call last night" he says.

"Oh?" I say, wondering where this is going.

"From Taylor" Gideon says carefully.

"Really, what about?" I ask a little defensively as I have a really good idea what it was about.

"About the fact you were out in New York yesterday and you froze in fear when you thought you saw your mother's ex-husband" he says gently.

I shake my head, "I told Taylor not to say anything" I say.

Gideon smiles, "Correction, you told Taylor not to tell Christian because you didn't want to worry him in case you were totally mistaken and given Christian's tendency to completely over react I can understand why you did it. However, Taylor told me because he was worried and felt as I was on the spot here in New York I would be best placed to handle anything, should it develop further. Don't worry, he didn't tell me why you were so afraid and he was very discreet but after our little group sharing session of our pasts a couple of weeks ago, I immediately realised who it was he was referring to".

I nod, "I don't think it was Stephen, I realise now I must have been mistaken, after all it's been years since..." I begin, but Gideon puts his hand on mine.

"Ana, I'm not going to lie to you or sugar coat this, you weren't mistaken. I got Angus to look into it and he discovered that Stephen Morton now lives here in New York and has done for some considerable time" he says.

I begin to feel like my throat is closing up and I start to hyperventilate and tears ooze from my eyes, immediately Gideon comes and sits beside me and wraps his arms around me.

"Hey come on, you have Luke and you have me here with you and you also have Christian and with our combined resources there is no way on earth Stephen Morton is going to get anywhere near you, let alone have the opportunity to hurt you, I promise you" he says.

I feel myself calming at his words and I nod. "I'm sorry" I say quietly.

Gideon shakes his head, "Not at all, I completely get it I go cold every time Hugh is mentioned and he can't hurt me any more… unless he comes back as a zombie" he says with a grin, trying to lighten the oppressive atmosphere that has fallen over us.

It works and I snort with laughter at his ridiculous comment.

"That's better" he says and he gives me another affectionate squeeze.

"Gideon, can I ask you something?" I say carefully.

"Sure" he replies.

"Why did Hugh commit suicide? Was it when the paedophile ring was exposed and he didn't want to face prosecution?" I ask.

Gideon sighs, "Sort of, I think it was combination of a couple of things. You see, I pursued him and as soon as I was in a position to do something, I discovered the statute of limitations had run out for me, so as I couldn't get my justice for what he had done to me through the official channels I went to visit him. I confronted Hugh and told him that if he ever laid a hand on another child I'd set up an unlimited fund to fight for justice on their behalf and it was shortly after that encounter he committed suicide".

I grip his hand, "That was a brave thing to do" I say quietly that Gideon had the strength to go and confront his abuser and rapist.

He just shrugs at me and continues to explain, "It was also around that time during my pursuit of him and the digging I did that I discovered the paedophile ring and gathered all the information I had found and sent it to the police. They acted on it but unfortunately Sybil got away scott free with her connections from the BDSM world. Hugh's name was linked to it but he committed suicide and there were 5 others and three of those committed suicide rather than face jail time. The other two were convicted and are in prison as we speak".

I don't say anything to all that but I grip Gideon's hand a little tighter, and he smiles at me in a silent gesture of thanks.

"We will get that bitch and bring her down once and for all, we can't fail with all the resources you and Christian have at your disposal" I say confidently after a moment's silence.

"What have you found out so far about her?" I ask as I remember the plan that was put in place before I left Seattle.

Before Gideon can answer, we are disturbed by the phone ringing. Gideon stands and answers it with a curt greeting.

"Cross" he barks, then he smiles and looks at me.

"Put him though, thank you Scott" he says. He waits and then presses the speaker button.

"Christian, how are you my friend? It's good to hear from you," he says in a much warmer tone.

"You too" Christian replies, I feel my breath catch at the sound of Christian's voice, I stand walk over to the phone.

"Hi Christian" I say, the love and affection obvious in way I say those two words.

"Ana is that you?" I hear the excitement in Christian's voice as he says this.

"Yes it is, how are you?" I say.

"I'm good. How are you baby? Have you eaten?" he says.

I roll my eyes, "Christian please, yes I'm fine and I'm eating right now, in fact you have disturbed me I'm having lunch with Gideon in his office" I say with a giggle.

"What are you doing there?" I hear Christian's tone has now instantly turned arctic and I glance at Gideon who smirks and I shake my head at the sudden emergence of Christian's annoying jealous streak.

"Christian" I say his name warningly and I hear a sigh from the other end of the phone, I ignore it and continue, "We are having lunch, and it's totally innocent and we are discussing how the fact finding is going to bring down that Bitch Troll".

Gideon snorts with laughter at that and raises his eye brows at my nickname for Elena.

I hear Christian sigh again, "I'm sorry baby" he says remorsefully, "that's actually why I am calling as Kate has found some interesting information on... _the Bitch Troll. _ She has been researching any paedophile rings that have been discovered and smashed around the United States and she has found one in New Orleans in the late 1980's early 1990's and one of the people involved was called Sandra Garner, but get this she escaped arrest and soon afterwards disappeared from the area, and there was also one in Chicago, and once again a woman escaped prosecution and disappeared from the area shortly afterwards but she was called Elaine Illsley. So I have Welch digging to find out if these women were all the same person, namely Elena".

"Christian, was Chicago after New Orleans or before?" I ask suddenly.

"After why?" he replies.

"Nothing, just a small thing, almost insignificant, but _if_ they all are her, then I noticed there is a sort of pattern, in New Orleans she was called Sandra, she moved to New York and called herself Sybil, they both begin with an S then Chicago she changed and went for Elaine and then Seattle Elena which is only a slight variation on Elaine. But both begin with an E and the surnames, do you know what her maiden name was before she married Linc?" I ask.

There is a silence and Christian replies "it was James, or so my mother said".

"Bingo" I say triumphantly, "**G**arner **H**anson, **I**llsley, **J**ames, the letters are sequential in the alphabet, she had no choice with her married name when she married Linc, so my bet is there are more before the Sandra Garner incarnation, and they are all the same person".

There is another silence and Gideon is staring at me and I blush slightly, I return my attention back to Christian, "Are you still there Christian?" I ask.

"I am, god you are so smart Ana. I would never have noticed that small detail but it makes a hell of a lot of sense. I'll pass that on to Welch, do you have anything to report Gideon?"

Gideon clears his throat, "actually yes I do, and in light of what Ana has just said I think we are on to something, as in the early 1980's we have discovered two cases of complaints against a female in Texas one in Dallas and one in Austin, the charges were dropped in both cases, the first was a woman called Helen Ellis and the second was Heather Fisher, but there is something else, Helen Ellis was known to the authorities. She had been removed from her parents by Child Services, and put into foster care, due to sexual abuse from her stepfather and step brother" he pauses and looks directly at me. "Her step father's surname was Morton and her step brother's name was Stephen Morton, so I am guessing Helen Ellis is her real name, if they all are the same person". I feel my legs give way, and Gideon strides towards me and grabs me before I fall".

"Ana sit down before you fall" Gideon says sharply but quietly, but unfortunately Christian hears him say it.

"SHIT! Ana, Ana baby are you there are you alright?" I hear Christian say anxiously.

"I... I'm here, I'm fine" I manage to get out, but I am far from fine. I clap my hand over my mouth, and look frantically at Gideon. He quickly leads me to a side door in far corner of his office which turns out to be a private bathroom. I rush in and vomit into the sink. Gideon rubs my back and then leads me back out and helps me sit and then he hands me some water.

"Ok?" he asks.

I nod, but my mind is reeling, Stephen wanted to go back to Texas as he said that was where he was originally from, when he was with my mother but surely it can't be the same Stephen Morton?

"What's going on?" I hear Christian say.

"I'm ok Christian, sorry I've just been sick again, that's all" I say.

Gideon stands and looks at me apologetically, "I'm sorry Ana, but he needs to know" he says, he grabs the receiver and taking the call off of speaker and starts to speak.

"Christian, its Gideon and you are no longer on speaker, my team have recently discovered that Stephen Morton – Ana's ex step father and abuser is living in New York... yes... she does, she saw him... wait... listen to me... she didn't want to worry you with it as she wasn't totally sure it was him... and this is exactly why she didn't want to tell you, because the way you are currently over reacting is everything she wanted to avoid in case it was an innocent man. GOD DAMN IT MAN BECAUSE SHE FUCKING LOVES YOU!"

He stops and closes his eyes, and then holds out the phone to me, "he wants to talk to you" he says.

I take a deep breath and steel myself as I take the phone from Gideon.

"Ana, baby, you saw Morton?" Christian says gently, the concern in his voice makes me swallow hard.

"Yes I did," I admit.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry, you should be able to come to me with anything and you were too scared to because of how you thought I'd react, I've let you down again. I'm sorry" he says.

I close my eyes, "Christian, listen to me, I didn't want to add to everything going on, plus I wasn't sure it was him, so I just didn't want to cause a fuss" I say lamely.

"Well if all this information is correct and Morton is linked to Elena it's a good job I do know now. I have to say it's quite unbelievable how this is all linked, you couldn't make this stuff up, talk about small fucking world!" he says.

I decide to totally come clean, "Christian, Luke knew, and please don't fire him or anything because he only did what I asked, and I also told Taylor but I begged him not to worry you with it. In fact I practically blackmailed him to keep it from you, so please don't blame him either" I say.

I hear Christian sigh, "Alright I won't but no more secrets, do you hear me?" he says firmly.

"Yes" I reply.

"Promise me Ana, you tell me everything that happens, everything no matter how insignificant you think it is" he says.

"I promise, but I only did it because I love you" I say.

"I know baby, and I love you too and believe me that is your saving grace because at this minute I am so close to flying out to New York and taking you across my knee".

I smile at this comment, because I know he wouldn't do that no matter how much he says he wants to.

"I have to go now Christian" I say as I see the time.

"Ok baby, I love you and I'll talk to you tonight, bye for now" he says.

"Bye" I say, I hand the phone back to Gideon and start to gather up my things.

"Christian, I'll get my people to look into these new leads and I'll update you on what we unearth... yes I will... goodbye" he replaces the handset and looks at me.

"He wants you to eat before you go back to work and so do I" Gideon says with a smirk and he points resolutely at the food. I roll my eyes and go and eat something before I head back to work.

My head is spinning with information as I head back to work, but I focus on the tasks ahead of me to get through the afternoon. By the time the end of the day arrives, I have made notes on 5 manuscripts and Andrew seems surprised by my findings.

"You have a good eye and instinct for a good story, they were manuscripts of authors who were subsequently taken on by CP and you have made some interesting findings on them and seen angles which I missed, I am very impressed," he says.

I smile at him, "well do I pass then?" I say brightly.

"Definitely, you will be put on live projects first thing in the morning, I am astounded how quickly you have picked all this up, you are an incredibly intelligent woman" he says.

"Thank you" I reply.

"Ana" I look around and see Luke waiting.

"Hi Luke, what is it?" I ask.

"Could I speak to you privately" he says.

"Sure, just let me finish up here" I say frowning at his grim expression.

Andrew glances at Luke before he speaks, "I think we are all done here Ana, I'll see you in the morning" he says.

"Ok and thank you Andrew, I'll see you in the morning" I say. I quickly shut down my computer and grab my purse; I turn to Luke, "Ok what's up?" I ask.

Luke moves closer, "Mr Cross has just called down to me and asked that you go and see him before you leave for the evening, he said that he has some information".

"I take it he has shared this information with you?" I ask warily and Luke nods.

"He did, but I already knew as T called me earlier" he says.

I nod and realise this must be to do with Elena. I leave quickly with Luke heading towards Gideon's office. Scott has gone home and when I approach I see Gideon pacing around his office talking on the phone, he glances up and when he sees me he smiles and beckons me in.

"She's here now, do you want to tell her yourself?" he says to whoever is on the other end of the line. A moment later he presses the speaker button on the phone and throws the Bluetooth device in his ear on the table.

"Miss Steele, are you there?" I smile as I recognise Taylor's voice.

"Hi Taylor" I say nervously.

"I was just telling Mr Cross, that your hunch on the name pattern was totally correct, Helen Ellis, Heather Fisher, Sandra Garner, Sybil Hanson, Elaine Illsley and Elena Lincoln (nee. James) are all one and the same person and her real name is indeed Helen Ellis she was born in Texas she also has a biological sister who seemed to vanish from the family around the time Morton senior came on the scene and Stephen Morton, the same Stephen Morton who was your step father for a time, was indeed her stepbrother".

"Shit" I say and I sit down with a thud. Gideon says nothing but is watching me closely.

"So that being said, we looked into Stephen Morton and he has had constant contact with his step sister over the years, which you wouldn't normally expect in the case of abuse, so we are now working on the theory that their relationship was actually consensual but was treated as abusive by the authorities because of her age at the time it took place, and because the step father also abused her" Taylor adds.

I am reeling, partly from the fact I was right, and partly because of the connection between the man who abused me also has a connection to the woman who abused the man I love and there is also a tenuous link with Gideon, and nobody could have ever predicted that.

"So what happens now?" I ask.

"Mr Cross is putting in place extra security to tail Morton so we will know where he is and what he is doing and there will be extra eyes to assist Luke in your protection, they will be liaising directly with Mr Cross and Mr Grey" Taylor says.

"I see, where is Christian now?" I ask, as I have the sudden need to talk to him.

"He is in a meeting at the moment, he wanted to tell you himself as soon as we discovered the link, but he couldn't put off this meeting, so he asked me to do it. He did say that he would call you personally as soon as he became free though" Taylor says.

"Ok" I say.

Gideon and Taylor wrap up the call and Gideon walks around his desk and looks closely at me.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

I nod, "I'm just... I can't believe the link between us, it's weird - don't you think it's weird?" I say.

Gideon smiles and nods, "It is, as Christian said earlier you couldn't make it up, we are all linked to one another. Your step father was linked to Sybil, Elena - whatever the hell her name is, and she was linked to Hugh who was linked to me and she was also linked to Christian who is linked to you, if you believed in that sort of thing, it sounds almost like fate," he says with a grin.

I shake my head, "if it is then it is also obviously fate and our destiny to bring that bitch down once and for all!" I say viciously.

Gideon smirks and nods, "I couldn't have put it better myself!" he says.

"Ok is there anything else you want to discuss?" I ask and Gideon shakes his head, "Ok right then, I am going home now. Do you still have stuff to do?" I ask.

He sighs and nods, "Yes I do, I have a couple of conference calls I need to sit in on, and a few things I need to finish off before I can leave for the evening, but I'll walk you down with Luke" he says.

We walk to the elevator and head down. I feel so safe flanked by these two tall strong men, Luke is built like a Gorilla, he is well over six foot and very broad with a body covered in slabs of muscle and he has a no nonsense look about him, it is the same look I have seen on Taylor's face it must come with the military training as I am familiar with that very look on Ray's face as well.

**oooOOOooo**

I have just got out of the bath and am getting into my pyjamas when I hear my cell phone ringing. I groan, quickly dress and go in search of it. I see it and picking it up I glance at the screen before frowning as I don't recognise the number calling, but I answer it anyway.

"Hello" I say.

"Hello Anastasia, what a surprise to see you in New York. I will have to look you up you always did give the best blow jobs".

I drop the phone and call for Luke and as I do so my legs give way, and I fall to the floor sobbing hysterically. Luke rushes in and takes in the situation. He looks at me questioningly and I point at my discarded phone, he picks up the phone and puts it to his ear.

"They're gone, who was it Ana?" he asks sharply.

"Him… Morton" I mutter through the tears, "how... how did he get my number?" I sob.

"I don't know" Luke replies. He pulls out his own phone and calls Taylor.

"T we have a situation, Morton has just called Ana on her cell... yes… we don't know… possibly… ok" he glances at me and turns and leaves the room, still talking to Taylor. He is gone for what seems like an eternity. I just sit curled up on the floor with my knees drawn up to my chest, I feel scared now he has made this approach towards me, now he knows I am here".

Eventually there is a knock at the bedroom door.

"Come in" I say, and the door opens and to my astonishment Gideon strides in and crouches in front of me.

"Ana are you alright?" he asks.

I nod but don't say anything, I see he is holding his phone in his hand he puts it up to his ear, "Christian, I'm here with her now... yes, hang on" he hands his phone to me with a smile.

"Christian" I gasp and fresh tears fall down my cheeks. I wipe them away, as I'm not sure where they came from so I put it down to baby hormones.

"Its ok baby, its ok, he won't hurt you I promise you I won't let him hurt you" Christian says earnestly.

"Ok" I say, I sniff and wipe my nose with my hand in a most unladylike manner, Gideon reaches into his pocket and hands me a handkerchief. I blow my nose and pull myself together. I refuse to be the victim I was when I was 15 years old.

"Ana listen to me, we are working on getting a restraining order put in place" Christian says.

"Ok thank you" I say.

"Oh baby, I should be there with you," Christian moans.

"I'm ok; it was just a shock that's all. What he said to me, it was horrible" I say.

"What did he say to you?" he asks gently.

"He said it was a surprise to see me, and he said he would look me up because I... I... always gave the best blow jobs" I close my eyes, I feel Gideon wrap his arm around me.

"Baby, can you put Gideon on" Christian says. His tone is icy and I know he is trying to control his temper. I look up at Gideon and offer him his phone back, he takes it from me, I notice that he also has a grim expression on his face as he takes it from me.

"Christian, yes I heard... I totally agree, no... yes... right I'll get right on it, you have my word… yes I'll hand you back to her, alright, Goodbye" he hands his phone back to me.

"Christian?" I say.

"Listen, I have to go now baby, you try and get some rest. Gideon is going to sort out the restraining order and he is also going to stay with you tonight until you go to sleep. Ok?"

My mouth drops open at this, and I am left wondering if this is the same Christian Grey with out of control jealousy? "Erm who are you and what have you done with Christian Grey?" I say and I hear Christian laugh.

"Yes I suppose it was a little bit unexpected to hear something like that from me, but I don't want you to be alone".

"Erm, yeah sure, he doesn't need to though, I have got Luke is here" I say.

"No he's not, he's out with Cross's security team tracking down Morton" Christian says darkly.

"Oh I see" I say.

"Yeah, well I really have to go now but don't worry baby, ok" he says.

"I won't, goodnight Christian, I love you," I say.

"Goodnight baby and I love you too," he replies.

I hand Gideon his phone back and he smiles as he pushes it into his pocket.

"So it appears that you are stuck with me tonight" he says.

I smile at him, "Oh no, that's a bit of blow, stuck with Gideon Cross, however will I cope?" I say shaking my head theatrically.

His mouth drops open in surprise but he quickly recovers and bursts out laughing. It is nice having him here though, he takes my mind off what happened and we spend the evening watching TV. I make some supper for us and I tell him about my day working with the other editors.

"Gideon, where did Damien come from?" I ask suddenly as I remember the uneasy feeling he gave me.

"Erm, I'm not sure off hand. He hasn't been on the editors floor for that long, I think he was promoted when Gus left, I believe he was one of Gus's assistants, why?" he asks.

"Do you have a say who gets employed at CP?" I ask, ignoring Gideon's question.

"I only tend to get personally involved with the higher pay grade positions. Assistants and general admin staff are recruited by the relevant department management along with Human Resources, and I just sign off on them. I do have a say with the editors and anyone at management level, or above, why has someone said something to you?" he asks.

"No I just wondered" I say brightly. I don't say anything else as I don't want to go bad mouthing one of Gideon's staff on my first day.

Gideon frowns at me, "Are you sure, someone hasn't said anything have they? As there was some surprise when I announced that I was bringing you in from outside and it is now common knowledge that we are friends. If someone has said something inappropriate you need to tell me". He pushes, I quickly think of a plausible answer.

"No, its just Karen mentioned that you normally recruit from within, by promotion and I wondered who was responsible for the decision, that's all" I say.

"But why Damien in particular?" Gideon asks, and I know he isn't buying it.

I hastily try and think of an excuse, "Erm because he seems so young to have the position of editor" I say and immediately regret it considering I am fresh out of college and have been landed a editors job.

Gideon laughs again, "Ana you are also very young, and I chose you personally for your role within Cross Publishing, and yes I had a say in Damien's promotion as editor as he did a good job as an assistant and he deserved it."

I leave it there I don't want to push it any further, we sit and chat and watch television until suddenly I yawn loudly.

"Come on, to bed - now" Gideon says. I smile as he sounds like a parent the way he said it, and he holds out his hand to me as I get up. I go and clamber into bed and I am surprised as Gideon settles himself in the chair beside the bed.

"I'll go home as soon as Luke comes in" he explains, as he sees my expression.

I nod, I must admit I feel safe with Gideon here and I feel my eye lids drooping, I yawn again and slowly I feel myself drifting off to asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

When I next open my eyes I realise it is morning, as the sunlight is streaming through the window. I feel a prickling sensation down the back of my neck. I roll over and stretch and as I sit up, I see him.

"CHRISTIAN!" I squeal, hardly believing what I am seeing as I take in the man who is at this moment gazing lovingly at me.

"Hi" he says simply and gives me his 100% full HD mega watt smile.

I don't hesitate; I leap out of bed and fling myself at him. He is sitting in the chair Gideon sat in last night and he barely has time to stand and catch me in his arms.

"I'm here baby, I'm here," he mutters kissing me repeatedly. He sits back down and pulls me into his lap. I snuggle close, and he burrows his nose into my hair and inhales deeply.

I cling to him and I feel tears starting to form, I blink furiously as I don't want to spoil this moment.

"You came" I say, looking up at him.

He cocks his head to one side and looks at me incredulously, "Do you seriously think I would leave you alone with that manic on the loose?" he says.

"What about your work, your business is in Seattle?" I say.

Christian shakes his head, "How many times do I have to tell you, you are the most important thing in my life," he pauses and then gently puts his hand on my stomach, "You and our baby" he says quietly.

That small comment and gesture floors me completely and I respond by bursting into tears and I cling to him.

I am speechless, I don't know what to say or do but I am so happy that Christian is here with me. I am still shocked that he actually dropped everything and came to me and I hold on to him, scared that I will wake up in a moment and it will all have been a dream and I will be alone here again.

It suddenly occurs to me that I am touching him, my hands are on his chest and I touched his back when I first threw myself at him and he hasn't flinched once, I pull away and look up at him.

"You are tolerating my touch" I say as I look at where my hands are.

He smiles at me and nods, and covers my hands with his own, pressing them to his chest.

"I've been working up to this moment with Flynn, since I hugged mom. I have been desperate for your touch, so he gave me some exercises to work on to stop me from reacting negatively and I've been practicing hard for this moment" he says.

"I'm so proud of you Christian" I say sincerely and I touch his face, and leaning towards him I kiss him softly on the lips.

His reaction is immediate, he grabs me and crushes his lips against mine, his arms go tightly around me and he stands with me in his arms and he carries me back to the bed, lying me down and settling himself on top of me. He pauses as he seems to remember that this will be the first time we have been intimate since that day I left him. He looks at me almost asking for permission to touch me and I give it with a nod. At that his hands roam restlessly all over my body and I gasp as he finally releases my lips, we are both panting, partly from the kiss and partly with the passion that is now consuming us, I want him here and now.

"Oh god I want you" I moan, and that is all the encouragement he needs and he doesn't need telling twice.

His hands move up underneath my pyjamas top and find my breast, he pushes up the top and his mouth finds my nipple and he gently pulls on it with his teeth. I gasp in surprise and my hands start to explore his body, I marvel at the way he is tolerating it as he only twitches slightly a couple of times and as they move lower I feel his erection and I smile.

We stare at each other and in wordless communication I start to unbutton his shirt and remove it; I really can't believe he is letting me do this. I make my moves slow and deliberate so he knows what my intention is and I see his breathing becoming more and more laboured and his body start to tense.

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask watching him carefully for any sign of panic.

"No" he replies, and I watch as he grabs my hand and yanking open his shirt he places it on his bare chest over his heart. I hear him take in a sharp breath as he does it and for the second time this morning he floors me.

Carefully and slowly we undress each other and as I look at his body with greedy eyes, he does the exact same thing to me. Before we know what has happened he is on top of me and thrusting deep inside me, I moan with every thrust he makes and he moves slowly and deliberately and yet oh so gently. He is making love to me, slow, passionate, beautiful love.

"Christian" I whisper as I feel myself building.

"Oh god Ana" he replies and as my own orgasm continues to build, I feel him chasing his own release, as my orgasm hits he stills and holds himself inside me and with a loud groan I feel him empty himself.

We shower together and he makes love to me again, in the shower. He can't keep his hands off me; he washes me, running his lathered hands all over my body.

"Can I wash you?" I ask him.

He nods and watches me pour some shower gel into my hand, I move towards him and pause so he knows what I am about to do and he nods and then watches my hands moving over his chest, he closes his eyes savouring my touch. It's too much for me seeing the trust he is putting in me and the tears start to fall once again. I move closer to him and rest my cheek against his chest as his arms go around me. I turn my head and gently kiss one of his scars. The gasp that comes from him startles me, and I look up to see his eyes wide, he is staring down at me. I deliberately move towards another and then another and plant a soft kiss on every scar on his chest. He moans and I stop.

"Don't stop" he whispers.

I immediately finish my journey across his chest and kiss his final scar. I look up and see he is crying.

"Don't cry" I whisper and I run my thumb across his face wiping the tears away.

"Oh god Ana I love you so much" he says hoarsely, and he pulls me close clinging to me. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and there we stand just holding each other with the hot water beating down on us.

When we eventually make it out of the shower and into the kitchen, I make us some breakfast, Luke appears just as I am handing Christian a plate with an omelette on it.

"Good morning Sir" Luke says politely as he pours himself a mug of coffee.

"Good morning Luke, any progress on last night?" Christian asks.

"Yes sir, we tracked Morton down and he is now under constant surveillance. Mr Cross has a tail on him 24/7 and the restraining order was processed last night, Mr Cross called in a few favours to get it pushed through quickly and in place by this morning".

"Good" Christian says and then he turns his attention to his omelette.

"Would you like an omelette for breakfast Luke?" I ask.

"That would be very nice thank you Miss Steele" Luke replies politely. I smile at his official tone and I realise this is for Christian's benefit.

After breakfast Christian accompanies me to the Crossfire. Heads turn as Gideon greets us in the huge foyer. We head upstairs and I show Christian my office.

"You like it here, don't you?" Christian says.

I nod, "Yes I do, it's my dream job" I say.

He nods but doesn't say a word; I notice a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "I want you to come home, and I want you with me to Seattle. I am barely surviving without you, I know the time apart was for us to work out our issues and how we feel about each other, I understand that but I know exactly how I feel about you now and I promise you, am working so hard with Flynn on my issues. I am trying so hard not be jealous and controlling and respecting your independence. I love you Ana, you are my life and without you my life is nothing. The money, the apartment, all of it, it means nothing now you are not there to share it with me. I wasn't living I was existing - you have given me a life. A life worth living and I want it and I want you with me in Seattle. You, me and our baby, my own family, for the first time in my entire life I feel... happy, I want this Ana, more than anything... but, you obviously love New York and your job here and I can't ask you to give it all up for me. I drove you away and that is something I will have to learn to live with".

"Christian, you didn't drive me away. We separated to give us clarity and work out what we need to do so our relationship will last in the long term, and you are right I do love this job" I say.

But if I was to be totally honest I would move back to Seattle tomorrow if it were possible. I have realised that I don't want to apart from him. But I can't do that, I can't mess Gideon around like that when he has done so much for me.

Christian nods sadly, but a voice from behind us takes us both by surprise.

"She doesn't have to give up her job" we both turn in surprise and see Gideon standing there. I have no idea how long he has been there, but it is clear he has heard everything Christian said.

"She doesn't have to give anything up" he looks at me knowingly.

"Ana, if you want to return to Seattle with Christian I will help you do so, you can transfer to my Washington office in Seattle."

I know Christian wants this and deep down so do I but I shake my head, "No thank you Gideon but I can't do that to you after all you have done for me. I couldn't mess you about like that and leave you in the lurch by just going, days after arriving" I say.

Gideon steps closer, "Listen Ana, I actually have an editor out there who has literally just put in for a transfer to New York to be closer to her elderly mother. She is looking to take up a position of editor here which would mean I would need to employ someone to replace her in Washington, so this way if you want to go back to Seattle we could instigate a straight swap, and there wouldn't be any issue with your job".

I see Christian look at me hopefully and I think about this latest development. It sounds tempting and I want to be with Christian, but do I really want to uproot again so quickly?

"How long are you in New York for?" I ask Christian.

He shrugs, "I have business out here I need to complete, I was due to come out next week as I told you, but I brought it forward after yesterday's events. That should take 2-3 days I should think a week at the most and then we can spend the weekend together and I will head back early next week. Ros is in control back home and I trust her, I am in contact with the office and there is nothing important on the table at the moment which needs my attention so in theory I can stay as long as it takes for me to persuade you to come home" he explains.

"Ok let me think things through and I'll give you my answer before you leave next week, is that alright?" I ask, ignoring his comment that he is prepared to stay indefinitely.

Christian seems to accept that and he nods as he pulls me close, "Whatever you want baby" he says.

I hold him tightly, but as I see Gideon walk away I remove myself from Christian's arms. Holding my finger up at him, he nods and watches me run toward Gideon.

"Gideon" I call.

He turns and looks at me, I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him, "You are a wonderful man Gideon and I hope one day you will find your soul mate. You will always be a very special friend to me, I'm sorry I couldn't be more for you, but ..." I trail off.

Gideon smiles down at me, "Christian got there first!" he finishes and I nod. "Thank you Ana that means a lot, I can see how you and Christian are, I would have to be blind and stupid not to see that you two are meant for each other. I am glad I met you though, as now I have two very special friends in my life".

He looks up at Christian as he says this. I turn and put my arm out to Christian and he steps closer and wraps his arm around me, and there we stand in a strange yet comforting group embrace.

"It's good to see that such a positive thing has come from something so ugly and negative" I mutter, both men look down at me and they both smile, as they realise I am talking about how our mutual pasts have brought us together and made us strong, and given us each other.

I am overjoyed for Christian that Gideon is now considered his friend as the only friend he ever had before was Elena and she was no friend at all, but now he has Gideon who not only knows and empathises with what Christian has gone through in his past but also understands what it is like for him to be the man he is now.

We are drawn from our bonding session by a discreet cough. I look up and see Taylor and I smile widely.

"Hi Taylor" I say brightly, but something about his demeanour makes my smile fade.

"Good morning Miss Steele, excuse me Mr Grey, Mr Cross, there has been an important development" Taylor says grimly.

"What is it?" Christian asks and I watch as Gideon also steps closer.

Taylor steps inside my office and closes the door. "Mr Cross's surveillance team who are watching Morton, have reported to Angus that he has received a visitor this morning… a female visitor. It appears that Mrs Lincoln has turned up at his apartment and is with him now, which would suggest it is more than possible that Mrs Lincoln will be now be made aware of the link with Morton and Miss Steele, which we all believe will put Miss Steele in immediate danger, especially considering how Mrs Lincoln feels about Miss Steele. Angus told me and he said is going to brief you shortly sir" he says glancing at Gideon who is listening intently.

Taylor barely has the words out of his mouth and both Christian and Gideon leap into action, grabbing their phones and barking orders. There is a knock at the door and Luke appears.

He shuts the door and begins to speak "Miss Steele with the increase in threat ..." I put my hand up.

"I know Luke, you are going to be glued to my side for the foreseeable future" I say, Luke nods and looks relieved that I have accepted this so readily.

"It's ok Luke, I'm sure everything will be fine but there is no point in being complacent, I have another life to consider here" I put my hand on my stomach and I shiver when I feel Christian place his arm around me and put his hand on top of mine.

A moment later, Christian kisses me soundly, "I have to go" he whispers apologetically and I nod my understanding.

"Me too" Gideon says and he leans forward and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly, and then he also gives me swift peck on the cheek before he leaves at Christian's side.

I watch them leave with Taylor, and I watch as Luke takes up his position outside my office and I go and sit down and put mind on the work in front of me.

The rest of the day is uneventful and I manage to put the revelations out of my mind and get on with my work.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two days later…_

The next couple of days pass in similar non activity, and I actually start to wonder if there is any credible threat at all, I start to wonder that perhaps Elena doesn't know about my link with Stephen and perhaps it was just a coincidence that she happened to show up just as we discovered all the links between the two of them.

Christian has been a frequent visitor to my apartment over the past couple of evenings and has consistently reiterated his desire for me to return to Seattle. Gideon has also been a constant presence there and reassured me that it would be no problem and that he would do whatever it took to facilitate the move.

I am now certain that I will indeed return to Seattle and as I come to that realisation I decide that I will tell both Gideon and Christian, my choice tonight. I know Christian will be overjoyed but I do worry about Gideon, and there is still a lingering feeling of guilt that I have messed him about.

I am busy working my way through the manuscripts I have been given when there is a knock at the door.

"Come in" I call.

The door opens and Damien stands there grinning, "What's with the Pit-bull?" he asks, nodding his head towards Luke who is scowling at him.

"Oh don't worry about Luke" I say. I still don't totally trust Damien, so I am not about to start explaining Luke's presence. "What's up?" I ask.

"Editors meeting in Andrew's office," Damien says.

I frown there was nothing on the schedule about this, but I stand and gather up my manuscripts.

Damien holds up his hand, "No need to bring those, it's not that kind of meeting" he says. I put them back down again and grab my phone and push it into my pocket, I look at Damien and see he is texting someone but I dismiss that and follow him out.

I pause beside Luke who looks at me questioningly, "I'm going to Andrew's office for a meeting" I say and he nods and immediately stands and follows us down the corridor. As soon as we reach Andrew's office, Damien suddenly pulls something from his pocket, and turns and before anyone can react he jabs it into Luke's side, Luke lets out a scream and falls to the ground twitching.

"Luke!" I scream, and I turn towards him to try to help him, but Damien grabs me and holds a taser up to my neck.

"You are coming with me, and you are going to come quietly. If you don't want to end up like him, got it?" he hisses, I swallow hard and I nod franticly, my mind is racing, I would fight back under normal circumstances but I don't want to cause any harm to my baby if he electrocutes me with that taser.

I stare at Luke's prone body on the floor and take a deep breath trying to calm myself down and think clearly. Ray's words when he was teaching me self defence come into my mind. '_Panic is what will get you hurt or killed, you need to keep a clear head Annie_' I start thinking carefully how I am going to handle this and hopefully stay unharmed. I go through the positives, I have my phone on me which is a big plus, I remember how Christian tracked me by my phone when we first met, and I drunk dialled him and I immediately feel a surge of confidence. I realise that wherever I am being taken they will probably search me for my phone and so I need to conceal it somewhere and I touch my skirt, I remember that it has a hole in its lining which I have been meaning to mend for a while, and thinking quickly and piecing things together, I look up and seeing the bathroom nearby a plan pops into my head, its a long shot that it will work but its all I have at the moment.

"Damien I will co-operate, but I need to use the bathroom first," I say nodding towards the door opposite but Damien shakes his head and grins.

"Nice try. Do you really think I will fall for that?" he says.

My heart falls, I knew it would probably be a long shot but I persist, "Look, I really need to pee, so unless you want me make a mess wherever you are taking me; I suggest you let me go and do what I need to do in there now. Just think about it, where can I go? We are 20 odd floors up?" I argue.

Damien considers my words and then nods, I mentally fist punch and I begin to think he is obviously not the brightest spark, either that or he doesn't realise I have my phone with me.

"Alright, but be quick" he says. "If you are not out in a minute I will come in and fetch you" he adds and then he waves the taser at me "Got it?" he says.

I nod and push open the door as soon as I am inside I quickly enter the stall, lock the door and pull my phone out. I send a group text to Gideon, Christian and Taylor.

_**SOS - LUKE DOWN, IMMEDIATE DANGER, DAMIEN INVOLVED, AT ANDREW'S OFFICE**_

I read it; it is concise and gives them all the details they need. I put my phone on silent but leave it switched on so hopefully Christian can track me and quickly slide it through the hole into the lining of my skirt, thanking god for the fact I hadn't gotten around to mending it when I'd discovered it there.

I feel much more confident now of my chances and I walk out of the bathroom and glance at Luke who has been dragged to the side of the corridor. He is starting to come around and Damien jabs him again with the taser. He turns and grabs me and ties my wrists with cable ties, my eyebrows raise when I see them and I immediately think of Christian, but I clear my mind as I can't let thoughts like that distract me, Ray's words fill my mind again, '_keep a clear head, don't be distracted by insignificant things, and stay calm_'.

Damien leads me into Andrew's office, which is completely empty. I am surprised and wonder what is going to happen until I notice there is a fire escape in the far corner. He takes me and leads me down the back stairs I glance up and see the security cameras and I deliberately turn my head towards the small domes in the ceiling, when we when we eventually reach the ground we are both panting but Damien doesn't pause as there is a car waiting and I am bundled inside. In the driver's seat is a man I don't recognise.

"Lets go" Damien shouts and the car speeds away.

I take this time to think, am praying that Luke is ok, and that Christian won't do anything stupid. This is exactly the sort of situation where he will undoubtedly over react and I know as soon he as he receives my text he will be beside himself. I hope that Gideon and Taylor will provide some common sense and calm to Christian's volatility.

I look out of the window as we drive out of the city and as we pass road signs it appears that we seem to be heading north. Eventually we arrive at what appears to be a disused warehouse; I am pulled out of the car and taken inside. I am sort of searched but not thoroughly and thankfully they don't find my concealed phone. I am pushed into a chair and the driver produces a roll of duct tape and he proceeds to roughly tape me to the chair. He removes the cable ties from my wrists but then pulls my arms behind me and proceeds to tape them together.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am sitting here bored out of my mind while this complete dick in front of me drones on about statistics and projections. I couldn't give a shit about half the stuff he is talking about, I just want to wrap this up and get out of here. I am having a change of heart about this company that it isn't as lucrative as I first imagined and I am no longer as eager to acquire it.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I sigh, pulling it out and staring at it I can't help but smile when I see that it is a text from Ana, I open it and the warm feeling I felt when I saw her name turns icy cold and I am immediately filled with dread, as I read it.

"NO" I yell, and at that moment Taylor bursts into the room clutching his phone. I realise I have leapt to my feet, sending my chair flying backwards and everyone in the room has fallen silent.

"Sir" Taylor says urgently as he skids to a halt. Everyone is staring but at this moment the whole deal can go to hell as far as I am concerned.

"I have to go" I say, as I am already crossing the room.

We are rushing to the car, I am nearly ¾ of an hour away from the Crossfire and I realise my only hope is to contact Gideon, as I think this my phone rings.

"Grey" I snap.

"Christian, its Gideon. I have just received a text from Ana, I was at a meeting across town, I am making my way back to the Crossfire now, I've put a team on code red ready to go and I've also contacted the police dept, Angus is trying to get a fix on Ana's location from her cell phone".

It gives me only slight comfort to hear all that, but as it's the best I'm going to get I accept it.

"Thank you, Taylor is searching trying to pinpoint her location by her cell as well, as soon as I get the coordinates I'll give you the details." I say, I feel completely out of control, I try and focus on my only consideration and that is finding Ana.

"Hurry up Taylor, find her just fucking find her" I say sharply. Don't let anything happen, nothing can happen to her. I have just got her back for god's sake, and then there is my baby. I go cold at the thought that whatever has happened to her could cause her to lose the baby and it is in that moment I realise how much I want this child.

Moments later my phone rings again, "Christian, Angus has a lock on Ana's cell phone, she is heading north out of the City. My team and NYPD have the co-ordinates and are heading out now".

"Taylor, Ana is heading north" I bark.

Taylor is tapping something then he exclaims loudly, "Got her" he shouts and glances at me through the rear view mirror, "Don't worry sir we'll find her" he says confidently.

I nod, I have no doubt in my mind that he will, but the question is what will have happened to her by the time we reach her? I put my head in my hands and for the first time in my life I pray. I pray that she and my baby are kept safe and unhurt.

**(GIDEON)**

"Ok, I'm all done now Angus, meet me outside in 2 minutes, I am on my way down."

I have just sat through one of the most pointless meetings, honestly I wonder sometimes what I pay these people for, if they can't make a decision without dragging me across town to wipe their asses. As I make my way down to the ground floor I feel my phone buzz. I pull it out and I smile as I see Ana's name.

I open the text and nearly drop my phone in shock.

"SHIT" I shout, quite forgetting I am in a crowded foyer.

Everyone looks around, but I don't care. I run outside, Angus gets out of the car and frowns at me.

"Angus try and get a fix on Ana's cell phone, it appears she has been taken from the Crossfire, how the hell did this even manage to happen? Get me back to the Crossfire now!"

I leap into the car and Angus springs into action he starts tapping away while driving.

I pick up my phone, think Gideon, first of all I call Raul.

"Raul, get the code red team on full alert, Ana has been taken from the Crossfire, I'm forwarding a message she sent to me to you now, get on it. Angus is aware of the situation and is trying to track her via her cell, he will send co-ordinates as soon as we get a fix" I hang up before he can answer and then I call the Police Chief, he owes me a number of favours, this is the time to call in a couple.

"Morris, Gideon Cross here" I snap.

"Mr Cross, what can I do for you?" the man replies amiably.

"A member of my staff has been abducted from the Crossfire, I am on route back there now, meet me with a team at the Cross fire in 10 minutes and I will brief you on what we know and what I need from you to get her back".

There is a brief pause and it irritates me, "did you hear me?" I snap rudely.

"I did and I'll get right on it" he replies.

I grunt a word of thanks and then hang up before he has a chance to say anything else and I stare at my phone, there is someone else I need to call and this is the call I am dreading most. I know I need to do it though so I take a deep breath and dial.

"Grey" comes the clipped greeting. I can tell immediately he is agitated and I wonder if he already knows.

"Christian, its Gideon. I have just received a text from Ana, I was at a meeting across town, I am making my way back to the Crossfire now, I've put a team on code red ready to go and I've also contacted the police dept, Angus is trying to get a fix on Ana's location from her cell phone". I wait and a moment later he responds.

"Thank you" he says in a tight voice, I realise he obviously knows as he sounds so lost and afraid.

"Taylor is searching trying to pinpoint her location by her cell as well, as soon as I get the coordinates I'll give you the details" he says, I can tell by his voice he is trying to hold it together and I know if I say something amiss he is totally going to lose it completely, so I go with concise and brief.

"Right" I respond and then hang up, shit he sounds terrible. I feel suddenly guilty, she was in my building and I assured him she would be safe. I gave him my word that nothing would happen to her, I was pissed when he stepped up the security almost as if he didn't believe me, but he was right to doubt me because I failed him and I failed Ana.

"Sir I have got it, she is heading north out of the city," I call Christian back straight away and tell him what Angus has just discovered.

We arrive at the Crossfire and I head up straight up to the Editors floor, barking orders at Angus to pull all the security footage we have, when my attention is drawn to a commotion outside Andrew's office and I see Luke Sawyer being physically restrained by a paramedic.

"Luke what happened?" I ask as I reach him, he looks at me and he looks absolutely dreadful.

"Ana has been taken, one of your editors came for her saying there was a meeting here, when we got here, he shot me with a fucking taser and by the time I came round they'd gone".

I quickly call up Ana's text, Damien involved she had put. She must have found something out about him. My mind immediately goes back to our conversation where she was asking questions about him, something must have happened which spooked her right from the start, shit, why didn't she say something?

I grab my phone, and call human resources, "Tanya bring me Damien Ellis's personnel file now" I bark. Wait, Damien Ellis, _Ellis,_ fuck he has to be related to fucking Sybil, Elena, Helen, whoever the fuck she is. How could I have been so stupid!

Moments later Tanya arrives I snatch the file from her and walk into Andrew's empty office with Luke, when Angus arrives looking grim. Angus sits down at Andrew's desk and firing up Andrew's computer he quickly accesses the security cameras and points out Anna being taken down the fire escape, I close my eyes as I see her look up directly at one of the cameras. Angus taps something else into the computer and holds his hand out for the personnel files.

"Sir" he asks simply gesturing toward the folder and I wordlessly hand it to him he quickly scans a page which gives him the code from the paper file to access the sensitive information we have held digitally.

Once found he reads it out to me, "born in Texas, mother Helen Ellis, father Stephen Morton," he says.

I stare at Luke. The information was under our noses all the time.

"We need to find her now," Luke says and I watch as he pulls his phone from his pocket and starts tapping something into it.

"Are you ok to come along?" I ask looking at him carefully, he is incredibly pale and is sweating.

"I'm fine, let's go" he barks impatiently.

I turn to the small group of armed police officers who have just entered the room. Luke steps forward flashing a badge and quickly explains the situation and issues rapid instructions.

"You heard the man," one officer says, and they all move out.

We head downstairs and pile into the SUV, Angus pulls out and heads north, and I can only hope we get to Ana in time.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

**(ANA)**

I look around the room. It's huge, and the far ends of it are in total darkness, the only light I have is a dirty skylight above my head giving a dim excuse of the daylight coming in from outside. There are no windows or they are boarded up and I am totally alone. The driver has gone, and Damien has disappeared as well. I am duct taped to a chair my legs are parted, taped to each chair leg and the duct tape is repeatedly wrapped around my middle effectively strapping me to the chair, my arms are still fastened together behind my back and I am really uncomfortable.

I hear footsteps coming towards me and I look up wondering who is coming. I recognise the woman immediately. Elena fucking Lincoln, the bitch troll herself.

"Hello Anastasia" she sneers.

"Well hello Elena, or is it Sybil? Or one of the other many alias's you have or maybe I'll just call you by your given name, Helen" I say calmly.

Her smug smile slips as I say this but she soon recomposes herself.

"I have an old friend of yours who wants to reacquaint himself with you" she says with an evil grin.

I stare at her, "Oh you mean Stephen Morton my ex step father and your step brother" I pause and let out a snort. "I guess that makes you my step, step auntie" I say sarcastically.

Once again I know I have rattled her by knowing so much.

"Shut up" she snaps, and she leans forward and slaps me hard across the face.

"Now now, that's not any way to treat your niece, Auntie Helen" I sneer. I know I am goading her but at this moment I really don't care, I am so angry and all the hatred and resentment I feel towards her is just waiting to burst out of me.

"I swear to god Anastasia, keep talking and you will regret it" Elena says.

I ignore her and continue to speak, "I know all about you and your trail around the cities of the United States, you've certainly been around haven't you Helen Ellis, Heather Fisher, Sandra Garner, Sybil Hanson, Elaine Illsley and Elena Lincoln nee James."

I see the colour drain from her face as I say this. She leans in and slaps me again much harder this time and I taste blood on my lip.

"I said shut up," she says.

"Is this how you intimidated Christian, when he was fifteen, when he was a child? You slapped him didn't you? You slapped his face and then put your filthy mouth on his and then you molested him. Did you have to tie him down before you did it? You are nothing but an evil paedophile and dirty cowardly bully, but I am not a child and I won't be intimidated by you, you evil witch" I am on a roll and I can see Elena getting angrier and angrier.

Instead of slapping me again, Elena turns and walks over to the wall and picks something up from the window sill and walks back over to me, then without a word she grabs my skirt and yanks it up exposing my bare thighs I pray she doesn't find my phone but she is staring at my legs, the next thing I have a scorching red hot pain across my thigh. I gasp and look and see a cane in her hand, she circles me and every few moments she strikes me with the cane, her breathing is getting more and more laboured and I realise that she is enjoying this, my mind flies back to Christian. This is what she did to him. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of crying or screaming out, and I bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from doing just that.

I hear someone else appear and I turn to look and see Damien, I see now why he made me so uncomfortable and why I thought he reminded me of someone, as I can see now that he is the spitting image of Elena. I wonder what the link is, brother? No he is far too young to be a brother, he appears to be my age or even possibly a bit younger.

The answer is given to me when Damien speaks, "Let her have it mom" he sneers, but I notice he watches her warily and doesn't come too close to her while she is welding the cane.

Mom? Oh my god she is his mother? I gasp again as she repeatedly lashes me with cane. I pray she doesn't hit me across my stomach and as I think this I feel the bite of the cane as it hits me squarely across my stomach, I am thankful that I am fully clothed there still, protecting me a little but my thighs are angry and red, with blood starting to ooze from them.

She is staring at the blood, and it is clearly exciting her, she straddles me and rips open my top exposing my breasts, I am waiting for the next lash of the cane when a door opens and in walks Morton. I immediately feel the bile rising in my throat at the mere sight of him. Elena stops and immediately moves away from me, deferring to him. Hmm that's interesting she is afraid of him too.

"Well, now look who has come to visit us" he says coldly.

"Anastasia, let me introduce you to our family" he gestures towards Elena, "this is Helen she technically is my step sister, but as you know I have always liked to keep it in the family, and this is our son Damien".

"I brought her dad, just like you told me to," Damien says looking at Morton, I watch the dynamics here, Damien is clearly afraid of Morton and Elena and he always tries to stay at arms length away, I wonder what perverted things these two have done to him, the thought makes me feel ill. Yet Elena as twisted and vile as she is, also appears to be afraid of Morton, but quite frankly I don't care what has happened to her, she lost any sympathy I could ever have after I heard what she did to Christian.

"You did Damien, I am very pleased" Morton says, he reaches out and touches Damien's shoulder and I watch as he flinches violently and cowers. My mind immediately flies once more to Christian, and his fear of being touched, this man has been just as broken by these evil perverted people.

Morton moves out of my line of sight. I hear him behind me and I jump violently when he places his hands on my shoulders and a wave of nausea and revulsion fills me when he runs his hands down my front until they are resting on my breasts. I really feel ill now and the overwhelming urge to vomit consumes me and I start to heave. I turn my head and vomit, he curses and leaps back.

"What the fuck!" he says.

"She's pregnant" Elena says harshly, spitting out the word pregnant as if it's something dirty.

Morton comes round into my line of sight and stares at me, "well well well, little prim and proper Anastasia gone and got herself knocked up. I don't see a ring on your finger, what a turn up, I wonder what your baby daddy would think if he knew the truth about you? I must say I am surprised you actually managed to get another man to touch you though".

"She is a nasty gold digging whore" Elena spits.

Morton stares at her, "You know who her baby daddy is don't you?"

Elena goes white and she hesitates a moment and then she nods, "I do, he was greatest accomplishment and she took him from me and turned him against me, filling his head with lies and talk of love".

"Tell me, who is it?" Morton asks.

"Christian Grey" Elena says.

Morton's eyes nearly pop out of his head at this, he swings his head back to me, "Well Anastasia, you do set your sights high don't you? You are punching well above your weight with him aren't you, well now, this changes things considerably, not only can I finally get what I want from you, we will also find out just how much you mean to your baby daddy, in cold hard cash".

Morton paces as though he is planning something, "Elena, call Grey and demand $100k" he says.

Elena snorts, "That's just pocket change to Christian".

Morton smiles, "Ok $1million but we don't want to be greedy Elena, and I really don't think Anastasia here is worth that much, and she definitely won't be when I have done with her".

I don't say anything; I can't bring myself to speak to him. All my childhood memories are flooding my brain as he speaks and I am frozen.

I hope that Taylor, Christian and Gideon got my text, I pray that Christian is tracking my phone and I pray that nothing bad happens to him or Gideon. As I think all this, I see something move over in the darkness, it attracts my attention but I try and not draw attention to it, but I'm sure I see human shaped shadows moving along the far side of the building. I don't react but now I pray I'm not seeing things and that it is something to do with Christian or Gideon.

My attention is brought back to Morton as he does something to the back of the chair and it moves, the back falls backwards and I groan as I am now practically lying down, he comes around to face me, and stands in front of me. To my horror I see he has his trousers hanging open and his dick out he is very aroused and he is stroking himself slowly, an evil grin on his face. Dread flows through me as I am totally at his mercy as I can't move a muscle, then I freeze as he proceeds to push himself between my bound and bleeding legs.

He leans down and whispers in my ear as he touches me. "Well this is what is going to happen, I'm going to fuck you hard, and then Damien here is going to fuck you as his reward for doing his part and bringing you here, and then Helen is going to fuck you up, Helen likes the more extreme sexual experience, and she has been itching to try out some new things on you".

He looks at the angry welts on my legs and arms, and he stops touching my breast and runs a finger over them.

"It seems like she has already given you a taste of what's to come" he adds.

He is stroking himself all the while he says this. Then he moves suddenly and rips my bra exposing my breasts and he grabs one roughly. I can't react or push him away and then I feel him climb on top of me and try and force his way between my immobile legs.

I swallow hard; all I can think of is my unborn baby. There is literally nothing I can do to stop whatever is going to happen to me and at this moment I just want to die. I close my mind to what is going on in front of me, I close my eyes when I feel his hand travelling up my thigh and I stiffen and a tear escapes from my eye, and I whisper the word no, he bends and licks it away and then he grasps my panties and he pulls. He is panting in my ear and whispering disgusting things to me, I feel the tip of his dick desperately pushing between my legs searching for my entrance and just as I brace myself for what is inevitably going to happen to me, while still continually saying no, all hell breaks loose. My eyes spring open to see armed men appearing from everywhere.

Morton curses loudly as we are surrounded and there is a mêlée of shouting and swearing. I feel Morton's weight being yanked away from me and realise that it is Christian, and my heart leaps at the sight of him. At this moment he looks feral as he sees my torn panties in Morton's hand and his exposed penis and he then glances at my tortured body he explodes with a primal almost guttural roar and starts punching Morton relentlessly.

"Christian don't please, he's not worth it, I need you, don't do this" I cry out, but Christian doesn't stop, and I see Gideon running forward towards us, he hears my call and with great effort he pulls Christian off Morton who falls in a heap in the floor. Christian tries to free himself from Gideon's hold but Gideon speaks calmly to him.

"No Christian, stop and help Ana" he hisses.

Christian immediately calms and turns to me, he stares at the welts and hisses angrily, he moves out of Gideon's hold and the first thing he does is pull my skirt down to cover me and then he gently pulls my torn top around me to cover my exposed breasts, he then turns his attention to the tape and starts tugging at it. He has hasn't said a word, and I know he has retreated to somewhere in his mind.

Gideon glances at me and then drags Morton to his feet, and I see him taking over the beating which Christian started. He too appears to be totally detached from what he is doing.

"Christian please stop him, he will kill him" I say.

"I don't want either of you going to prison because of him, he's not worth it" I say. But Christian isn't listening he is clearly working on autopilot, focussing on the job in hand. Thankfully as I am saying this, I see Taylor pulling Gideon off and watch as he whispers something in Gideon's ear, he then drags Morton up off the floor and away none too gently, and I smile as I see him also giving Morton a couple swift kicks and punches. As I watch him go, I also see Elena and Damien are now restrained in handcuffs and are being led away.

Luke appears from somewhere and produces a knife and starts cutting through the duct tape which is binding me.

"Luke are you alright?" I ask anxiously, the last time I saw him he had been hit with the taser.

"I'm fine Miss Steele, I'm sorry about what happened" he says regretfully as he releases my legs.

I shake my head adamantly, "Luke it wasn't your fault you didn't stand a chance, when he hit you with that taser" I say.

Luke smiles at me gratefully but says nothing, then as soon as he has finished cutting through the duct tape he steps back as Christian immediately lifts me into his arms. His demeanour has totally changed now, he is so gentle the way he holds me and checks me, I am trembling severely and he removes his jacket and puts it around my shoulders, as he moves me I feel a cramping sensation in my stomach and a feeling of dread goes through me; the baby.

"Christian" I whimper, and then as I feel him against me and I smell his familiar scent I just dissolve into tears pressing my face into his chest.

He wraps his strong arms around me pulling me close "I've got you baby, I've got you" he whispers repeatedly, as he is kissing me and rocking me gently, he is comforting me but I know that he hasn't totally returned yet from the dark place in his mind that he has retreated to, as his body is rigid with tension.

The next thing I see is Gideon as he crouches in front of us, "Christian you need to take her to the hospital to get her checked over, she's hurt" he says.

Christian stands with me in his arms and I wrap my arms tighter around him, "Come on, let's get you out of here and make sure everything is alright" he says firmly.

"Mr Grey if you could wait a moment" I look around and see a man in a police uniform walking swiftly towards us.

Christian scowls at him, "Yes" he says impatiently.

"I need to speak to Miss Steele and get her statement" he says.

"Can't it wait? She's pregnant, and I need to get her to the hospital to make sure everything is alright, she has also been physically and sexually attacked can't you see the marks on her?"

Christian glares at him and he almost wilts under the stare. I can tell he is trying so hard to keep his temper in check, and I also know this is totally for my benefit.

The man looks at me sympathetically and then nods, "Alright, but please be aware I will need to talk to Miss Steele later" he says.

Christian nods and turns to leave, and he focuses his attention back on me once more, "Are you ok baby?" he hesitates, "How far did he go?" He asks coldly.

I need him to come back to me, but he is still incredibly tense and I know he is worried that Morton managed to violate me. I rest my head on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck and he responds to that as he leans down and kisses me gently, but he is rigid with anxiety.

"He didn't hurt me, but he was going to, he touched me and he said he was going to fuck me, you pulled him off before he could… before he... but it was close, too close".

I feel Christian relax as I say this, so I continue "he put his hands on me... on my breast and up my skirt on my thigh, he tore my panties off, but he didn't…" I stop and start to cry again as I recall what happened and I feel Christian stiffen again.

"Who put all those marks on you?" he asks.

"Elena" I say quietly, "She had a cane."

"Fucking bitch" he mutters under his breath.

He takes me out to the waiting SUV and then oh so gently lays me down in the back. Luke appears again and climbs into the driving seat, and Christian clambers in the back beside me, he pulls me carefully towards him and rests my head on his lap and strokes my hair repeatedly, he pulls a blanket from somewhere and puts it over me.

"You are safe now, and I swear no-one will ever hurt you again," he says this with a determined finality which makes me shiver.

**oooOOOooo**

When we arrive at the hospital there is a frenzy of activity, I am checked over, tests are done and my wounds are washed and dressed. Christian watches silently as a scan is done to check the baby, I mention the cramping sensation I had which sends him into a panic and he only appears to relax fully when we are told that everything appears to be fine and that the baby is unharmed.

When we are alone he comes and sits with me and pulls me close.

"I am not leaving New York without you," he states firmly.

I remember my decision from this morning that I was going to tell Christian that I had already decided to make the move back to the North West.

I look up at him, "I was going to tell you this tonight, but I had already made that decision, I… I want to come home to Seattle, I want to be with you," I say.

Christian gives me a massive smile and he squeezes me so tightly that I gasp.

"You won't regret this baby, I swear to you that I will be the man you deserve, and I swear I will do my best to be the man of your dreams".

That comment makes me swallow hard and I look up at him, and touch his face to draw his attention to me.

"Christian that fact was never in any doubt, you _are_ the man of my dreams and have been ever since I first met you, I love you" I say.

I feel him take a deep intake of breath and his nostrils flare, he doesn't reply but he just grips me even tighter.

"Christian I need to breathe" I whisper and he immediately loosens his grip on me.

"Shit, sorry baby, are you ok?" he asks and he fusses over me, but before I can answer him, the door opens and Gideon walks in looking concerned.

"Ana how are you?" he asks.

"Hi Gideon, I'm fine thank you, we are just waiting for a couple more test results to come through and then I think we can be discharged" I say. I see relief fill Gideon's face and he smiles at me.

"That's good" he says, but before he can say anything else, Christian stands and holds out his hand.

"Thank you for your help Gideon" he says gratefully.

Gideon looks at the outstretched hand and accepts it but he pulls Christian into a hug, I hold my breath at the gesture but I smile proudly as Christian only flinches slightly and then he accepts the hug.

When he pulls away he sits down once more beside me and reaches for my hand.

"Ana has decided to return to Seattle with me" he says. There is no hint of arrogance or smugness in his voice he is simply stating a fact, but I roll my eyes at him for saying this now as I don't think this was the right time to say it, but Gideon just nods with a calm acceptance.

"I expected that" he says simply and he sits down with us.

"I trust you will assist Ana with her transfer to Cross Publishing (Washington) from New York?" Christian asks.

Gideon turns to Christian and nods, "there is no question of that of course I will, I will do everything I can to facilitate the move quickly and seamlessly" he says and Christian gives him a satisfied smile.

"Gideon… I…" I begin, but he holds up his hand to stop me.

"Ana, stop, you don't have to apologise, nor do you have to explain, I realise now I should never have put you in the position I did. You were vulnerable and I took advantage of that, I could quite easily have offered you a position at Cross Publishing in Seattle if I was sincere in my offer to give you a good secure job, but I didn't I offered you a job in New York instead and if I am totally honest I did hope that once I got you here that you would forget about Christian, but then things evolved and circumstances changed and I saw just what you mean to him and what he means to you," he stops and put his head down.

"Don't Gideon, please don't" I say, I feel bad now about this.

Gideon looks at Christian bleakly, "I value our fledgling friendship which is why I am telling you all this, and I sincerely hope that it can survive everything that I have just said." he says.

Christian thinks for a moment and then he nods, "It can. I knew you wanted her, but I also saw when you realised that wasn't going to happen and you accepted it and stepped away, and then you helped me find Ana and you pulled out all the stops to ensure she was found quickly, I won't forget that" he replies.

He pauses "I realise that was probably more for Ana than for me but I thank you all the same" he says.

Gideon shakes his head, "No it wasn't, yes I admit that Ana still means a lot to me, but now she means a lot to me as a friend and nothing more than that. I also knew what it would do to you if something had happened to her, and I didn't want you to go through that, because you are also my friend" he says.

I watch with tears in my eyes as the two men stand and shake hands and then embrace each other once more and whole new level of understanding spreads between them.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

_Three Months later…_

Three months have now passed and I am settled back in Seattle and I am now living with Christian, when he returned home from New York I went with him. Things have settled down and I am happily ensconced in my role at Cross Publishing here in Seattle and everything seems to be calm and relaxed with no drama or trouble.

We are in constant communication with Gideon and he is now a firm friend to both of us. He and Christian have become as close as brothers now and it's a joy to see both Christian and Gideon having someone they can lean on and consider a close friend considering the fact that they were both so solitary and closed off.

Gideon is handling all the legal stuff in New York, and the case we have built against Elena with everything that Gideon and Christian's security teams have uncovered about her and in turn implicated Morton and Damien is formidable. We will have to return to New York to testify when the case comes up.

Christian has been so over protective since everything happened, not to mention he has been watching me like a hawk. While he was in New York he stayed with me at my apartment instead of staying at his own. Gideon was brilliant about everything and he and Christian helped make my relocation back to Seattle as smooth as possible.

I was really worried that the stress of everything that had happened would have an effect on the baby, after the cramping pains I had after the kidnap. Then a few days after my ordeal I had a slight show of blood which sent Christian into a complete meltdown, and a trip to the hospital and every and so often I have been having odd twinges now and again which haven't feel altogether good and so we have spent many occasions at the hospital while we were in New York, and since we have been back in Seattle but each time I had been checked out I was given the all clear and just told to be careful and keep an eye on things.

We have seen and socialised with Gideon regularly since we returned to Seattle from New York. We have had Gideon over in Seattle a few times and Christian has taken us out on his boat, a beautiful catamaran called 'The Grace'. Gideon has stayed with us at Escala, unlike Christian, who has an apartment in New York, Gideon doesn't own any properties in Seattle...yet! I am convinced that with his increasingly regular visits to see us he will soon be adding a Seattle property to his extensive portfolio.

He is coming to visit once again this weekend and I am just helping Gail get his room ready. He has told us he has a surprise for us. I think he has already told Christian as he has a very smug look on his face every time I mention that I wonder what Gideon's surprise is.

When I returned to Seattle I moved in with Christian at Escala and things seem to be going well, despite his paranoid over protectiveness. I am cutting him some slack on it because of everything that has happened. I have transferred to and am doing well at Gideon's Seattle office of Cross Publishing, and I tease Christian that I am in direct competition with him, since he owns SIP, which he has now re-branded as Grey Publishing.

I have brought in several new authors and we have 4 of the top ten best sellers at the moment. So everything considered I am blissfully happy. I am living with the man I love, I am expecting his child, the bitch troll and Morton are out of our lives, I have no idea about Jack Hyde but he is off the radar, and I couldn't care less what he is doing as long as he isn't anywhere near me. I'm sure Christian and Gideon are keeping tabs on him but they haven't said anything. So in short life is good.

"Are you ready baby?" I turn at the voice and smile at Christian.

"Yes" I reply and walk towards him.

He immediately takes me in his arms nuzzles my neck and places his hand on the barely there swell of my stomach, I'm only just starting to show and you have to really look to even see it but Christian knows it is there and he is totally obsessed with it, he constantly touches and strokes it. He is so loving and attentive to me and he is really getting into the idea of becoming a father. Plus I think the little scares we have been getting since I was taken by Stephen and Elena has focussed his mind on what is truly important.

"We need to get going, Gideon's plane is due to land at 6pm" Christian says impatiently.

We head downstairs and I grab my jacket, it's getting much colder in the evenings, and autumn is definitely in the air. Taylor is waiting and we climb into the waiting SUV, when we arrive at Sea Tac we see Gideon's plane just taxiing to a stop. We pull up on the tarmac beside it and climb out to wait for him. As the doors open his familiar frame fills the doorway, I am shocked as he turns and grasps the hand of a petite blonde woman and makes his way down the steps. I run to him and he lets her go to hold out his arms to me, he lifts me off my feet and plants a swift peck on my cheek.

"Ana it's so good to see you again".

He places me back on my feet and holds me at arms length looking at me fondly.

"Look at you, you are looking so well, you are positively glowing!" he says.

He turns to the woman and urges her forward, "Ana this is Eva... my girlfriend" he says with a shy grin, "Angel, come and meet my two closest friends" he adds.

I squeal in delight and I turn to greet her. I am eager to meet the woman who has captured Gideon's heart.

"Eva I'm so pleased to meet you" I say as I hug her and she smiles at me.

"Hi, I've heard a lot about you" she says politely.

Gideon takes over as Christian strolls up grinning widely, "Gideon" he says and they shake hands and then embrace slapping each other on the back.

"Good to see you Christian, this is my girlfriend Eva, Eva this is my good friend Christian Grey".

Christian bends and kisses Eva on the cheek and shakes her hand, "I'm very pleased to meet you Eva" he says politely.

"Likewise" she says, I smile as she doesn't gawp him like most women do, it is obvious that she only has eyes for Gideon and it makes me happy to see him so obviously in love.

Gideon turns to me and grins at me as I slap his arm playfully, "You didn't say a word, you and your surprises, I'm so pleased for you" I say.

Gideon takes a shot look at Christian and I see the look that passes between them, and I turn to Christian my eyebrows raised and I shove him gently, "You knew didn't you? You knew and you didn't say anything?!" I exclaim.

Christian wraps his arms around me, and laughs, "Yes, I admit it baby, but it was torture not being able to share it with you, but it was also worth it to see the look on your face" he says and presses a kiss in my hair.

I notice Eva is watching our interaction carefully and as she sees Christian's obvious affection towards me she relaxes a bit. I had noted that she wasn't entirely happy when I first greeted Gideon and gave me a look which I had previously seen many times on Christian's face, a look of pure jealousy.

"So, are we going to stand here all night or are we going to get back to Escala? Gail has cooked your favourite meal Gideon!" Christian says.

Gideon smiles widely at that piece of information, "Lasagne?" he asks almost drooling at the prospect.

Christian nods "The very same" he says.

Gideon turns to Eva, who is staring at him almost at a loss at his animated behaviour, "You have not lived until you have eaten Gail's lasagne" he says with a swipe of his hand.

The car ride home is filled with the now familiar light hearted banter between Christian and Gideon. Christian is driving and Gideon sits next to him in the front while I am in the back with Eva. Taylor is following us in another car. Eva watches Gideon closely and she seems amazed by his carefree and relaxed demeanour. Tonight's lively debate is the merits of Baseball versus Football, Christian is backing Baseball and Gideon is ferociously backing football. I shake my head at their stubbornness.

"Are they always like this?" Eva asks.

I sigh, "Unfortunately yes, and they are both too pig headed to realise they are equally matched in the control freak and stubbornness department which also means they don't know when to give it up and shut the hell up" I say this loudly, and the two men glance at us before dissolving into laughter.

"Enough!" I say light heartedly. I turn to Eva, "But what makes this really sad and totally pointless is the fact they both like baseball AND football!" I say sarcastically. This produces more childish sniggers from the front of the car.

When we arrive at Escala Taylor carries in Gideon and Eva's cases, and goes to take them up to the guestroom which Gideon always uses when he stays.

As Gideon watches Taylor leave he takes a shot look at Eva and she nods, he walks up to Christian and pulling him to one side whispers something in his ear.

"Don't be ridiculous" Christian exclaims staring at him, I walk over to find out what is going on.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Gideon sighs and looks down at the ground, looking uncomfortable; Eva walks up and grasps his hand.

"Gideon, you said they know everything about you, and that they are your closest friends so they won't judge you, you need to tell them" she says.

Gideon looks up and I see that lost look on his face which I last saw when he confessed his past to me. I grasp his arm.

"Come and sit down Gideon" I say gently.

Like a child he follows me over to the huge sofa, Eva sits beside him and I have to fight the urge to take his other hand, it's not my place anymore to do that and I don't want to antagonise Eva as I really think we could be good friends, Christian sits down and carefully looks at his friend.

"What is it Gideon, what's wrong?" I ask him gently.

Gideon turns and looks at me, "I just told Christian that I would sleep on the sofa or something while we are here, I said that because Eva and I... we can't sleep together" he says.

"Why?" I ask confused.

Gideon looks uncomfortable and shuffles in his seat. Eva squeezes his hand and steps in to speak, "because he has really bad night terrors of the time when he was raped as a child, and during whatever he is reliving during his dream he turns into the aggressor. He attacked me while he was asleep once and tried to rape me, he didn't know what he was doing and I trust him, I know he wouldn't hurt me when he is awake but when he is asleep it's a different story. He just can't control it" she says.

Gideon lowers his head, shame written all over his face. I stare at him, "Gideon look at me" I snap

He looks at me surprised at my tone and I grasp his chin with my hand.

"Gideon Cross don't you dare feel ashamed, you cannot control what you do when you are asleep and the fact Eva is sitting here after you tried to attack her, should tell you she doesn't blame you and she understands, so snap out of it and take that look of shame off your face".

He pauses and then a genuine smile fills his face and he shakes his head "You always know exactly the right thing to say" he mutters.

"Damn right I do" I say and I shove him with my elbow.

He looks up and glances at Christian uncertainly. Christian shakes his head, looks at me and then begins to speak.

"Welcome to the club Gideon, I had night terrors every single night of my life for as long as I could remember. Every single fucking night I would re-live what the crack whore's pimp used to do to me" he says.

Gideon's mouth drops open at this news, "You say had – past tense?" he asks.

Christian nods and smiles at me, "yes although I do still get them if I have to sleep away from Ana but she keeps the monsters away from me".

"You are a very lucky man, I would give anything to go a night without reliving my past" Gideon says sadly.

Christian reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card, offering it to Gideon. He leans towards him and looks at him earnestly.

"Call him Gideon, John Flynn is the best shrink in the world, he has helped me sort out my shit, and when Ana left me he made me realise what an asshole I had been. He's good, very good, I admit that I didn't listen to the advice he gave me about my night terrors but I should have done" Gideon looks at the card but still hesitates to take it and Christian smiles knowingly.

"I know you have issues with shrinks after... you know... but I swear he is the best, and he is a good man, I guarantee he won't hurt you". Gideon accepts the card and stares at it.

I smile, I can't help myself as I reach for and grasp Gideon's hand, "He is, John Flynn is a good man, and he has to be to put up with Christian's tantrums" I say.

Christian laughs and Gideon smiles, but he looks back at the card and his smile fades.

"I have to do something" he says, he doesn't say anything else but he pushes the card into his pocket.

"Thanks" he adds.

I decide to butt in, and get back on track, "So, going back to the original point here, Gideon if you think you are going to clutter up our sofa by sleeping out here you have another think coming. You will sleep in the guest room next door to Eva, or Eva can have that room if you want to sleep in your usual room, and Gail and I will get it ready for you after dinner" I say deliberately keeping my tone light to add a bit of levity to the situation.

Gideon grins at me, "Thank you" he says.

"See, I told you they would understand" Eva says and she bumps shoulders with him.

We are interrupted by Gail as she informs us that dinner is ready. We have barely reacted and yet Gideon is disappearing out of sight to the dinner table. Eva's mouth drops open.

"I've never seen him move so fast" she says.

I laugh as I lead the way to the dining room "Gail's lasagne is a powerful thing".

We go and sit around the table and Gail brings in the large dish of Lasagne and places on the table it in front of Gideon.

"Well that's mine, what is everyone else having?" he says rubbing his hands and staring almost indecently at the large dish of lasagne.

We all laugh and Gail places Garlic bread and a bowl of salad on the table and leaves us to help ourselves. Christian pours wine which I stare at longingly.

"Stop it" he says grinning at me.

I sigh, and he hands me a glass of water. "Gee thanks dear" I say sarcastically as I take the water from him.

The atmosphere is light hearted and easy around the table throughout dinner, although I have been getting odd cramping sensations every now and again in my stomach, nothing significant more annoying. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and check to make sure that nothing bad is happening and nothing is so I decide to keep it to myself and not mention anything as I don't want to spoil the evening with Christian going into a panic and taking me to hospital again. It's getting to be quite embarrassing the frequency of the trips due to Christian over reacting to every twinge I have. When I return I hear Christian speaking.

"So tell me Eva how did you meet Gideon?" Christian asks.

Eva goes red, "It was the most embarrassing moment ever, I was helping some woman who had spilt all her change all over the floor of the foyer inside the Crossfire, near the turnstiles and he stopped right in front of me. I looked up at him and lost my balance and sprawled on my ass at his feet" she says, shaking her head at the memory.

Christian snorts with laughter, "That's just so weird" he says, "The first time I met Ana was when she fell head first into my office, I guess we must have that effect on women eh Gideon?"

Gideon laughs loudly and agrees to which I glance at Eva as I sit down and as we make eye contact I roll my eyes dramatically and she shakes her head and giggles, and then continues with her story.

"I have to say that he pursued me pretty aggressively, I work in the Crossfire for an Advertising Company on the 20th floor and he basically stalked me, finding out where I worked and commandeered my boss to submit an advertising campaign to try and win a contract for a Vodka company he bought, when all the time he had his own in house marketing department which could do exactly the same job. But the best bit – but I don't mean _best_ in a good way, we are talking best in an, 'oh my god who is this fucking weirdo?' kind of way".

"Fucking weirdo? What the hell did you do Gideon?" I ask my eyes wide wondering what he did.

I watch as he shifts in his seat and looks embarrassed.

Eva who is clearly enjoying herself quickly explains, "It was when he finally got me alone, he cornered me and he told me he wanted to fuck me, I mean he just came straight out with it, I want to fuck you Eva he said, just like that" she says.

I stare at Gideon in shock, and he has the grace to look sheepish, "Oh my god you didn't?!" I gasp, "What did you do?" I ask Eva.

She shrugs "Basically, I told him to go fuck himself!" she says bluntly.

Christian chokes on his wine and bursts out laughing, "the direct approach didn't work then I take it?" he says.

"You could say that" Gideon says and he does look ashamed of himself as he hears Eva's description of his behaviour.

Eva continues, "He was relentless though and eventually I gave in, and we went on a date even though he refused to acknowledge it was date, because he doesn't do dating because... get this, it he doesn't like spending lengthy social time with a woman during which he's not actively fucking" she pauses and sees my shocked expression, "oh it gets better" she continues, "I asked him if he doesn't like the company of women and he said he does as long as there aren't any exaggerated expectations or excessive demands on his time".

I honestly can't believe what I am hearing that this is the same man who I call a close friend.

Eva smiles sweetly at Gideon, clearly enjoying his discomfort, "But I brought him round to my way of thinking" she says.

I see Christian desperately trying not to laugh, and Gideon looks at me sheepishly.

"What on earth got into you Gideon? Did you seriously think behaving like a complete asshole would get you laid?" I splutter.

"It worked for me baby, as I recall when you asked me if we were going to make love, I told you I didn't make love that I just fucked hard, but you still gave me your virginity that night" Christian says proudly.

I go bright red, but thankfully Eva saves me, "we had a bit of a rocky start with our baggage and issues but the last month or so has been good" she says. I realise that she must have met Gideon pretty much around the time or just after we left New York, she looks up at Gideon and he smiles at her indulgently.

"We will compare notes!" I say firmly, Eva smiles at me as I continue, "You have no idea how familiar all that sounded, apart from the moronically dickish behaviour, although Christian did have more than his fair share of moments in that department too, but what you have said, it was like the way Christian and I started, he stalked me for a while too... still does!" I add, glancing lovingly at Christian. Christian grins but says nothing.

The conversation continues and the atmosphere is light-hearted and jovial until Gideon reaches into his pocket for his phone he glances at the screen and frowns.

"Cross" he snaps, his face falls and he glances at me and then Christian, I feel the atmosphere immediately take a nose dive. Christian stiffens and is immediately on alert.

"What?... when was this?... where is he now?... Yes I'll tell them, I'm pretty sure Christian's people will be informed shortly as well" just as he says this Taylor appears with a grim expression on his face, Gideon glances at Taylor.

"Got to go" Gideon says and throws his phone on the table. He turns to Taylor. "Are you here about Hyde?" he asks, and Taylor nods curtly.

I gasp at the mention of his name and Gideon turns to me and reaching for me grasps my hand, while Christian has left his seat and is now at my side.

"He has been released and was last seen boarding a plane to Seattle".

I shake my head, "No" I moan, and I slam down my fork and shaking myself free from Christian's arms run from the room in tears.

Moments later I feel Christian behind me, "Come here" he says gently. I turn around and he holds me tightly, once again I feel an odd sensation in my stomach and I grip Christian tightly.

A few minutes later I head back out totally embarrassed by my outburst. "Sorry about that" I mutter.

"Don't apologise Ana" Gideon says. We finish our meal in silence then Christian, Gideon and Taylor disappear into Christians study and I am left alone with Eva.

"Sorry about my little outburst, I'll blame my pregnancy hormones. That's my excuse I'm sticking to it" I say trying to make light of the situation.

"What did he do to you?" she asks bluntly.

I stare at her in shock, she picks up her glass and we move over to the sofa. "Ana your reaction was that of someone who has been abused in some way, so I'll ask again what did Hyde do to you?" I am shocked at the forthright way she is speaking to me.

"I... he... it was" I stammer, Eva smiles at me.

"I understand Ana, more than you could ever realise. Gideon knows all about my past and it's as horrific as his" she stops and throws back the rest of her wine.

"Gideon told me about how he told you and Christian everything when he told me, he had to really after he tried to rape me in his sleep, and at that point I had already told him all my shit, because if it were to come out it had the potential to embarrass him, so he needed to know what he could be dealing with" she stops and looks at me carefully.

I sigh, "I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by one of my mothers ex husbands, he reappeared recently and it turned out was involved with a woman who had sexually abused Christian when he was a teenager, and she was also involved with the man who raped Gideon, it was such a mess and so inconceivably weird that three people from totally different backgrounds and parts of the country could be linked in such a way". I pause and Eva is just sitting listening and waits for me to continue.

"But Jack Hyde was a totally different situation; he was my boss at Seattle Independent Publishers, which was my first job after I finished college. Christian tried to warn me about him, everyone in the office warned me what he was like, he is a sexual predator, and when we went to New York for a literary exhibition he tried it on quite forcibly, it was where I first met Gideon actually, and he helped me out" I say.

"I thought now that Hyde was out of the way and the other situation was pretty much sorted we could finally relax and get on with our lives, but now it seems I was wrong" I shrug and stare at my glass in front of me.

"So, this Hyde guy, now he is free and possibly heading this way" she says.

I nod, I am curious Eva had hinted that she has a past, she had said that her past had the potential to embarrass Gideon should it come out, and before I stop to think I ask the question, I look directly at Eva, "What's your story?" I ask carefully.

She stares right back at me, "I'm sorry I don't mean to pry" I say, quickly backing down.

She shakes her head, "No its fine really, my mom had a husband with a son from a previous marriage – Nathan was his name, and he repeatedly raped me. I was 10 when it started and it only stopped when I was 14 and suffered a miscarriage and it all came out" she shrugs as she says so dismissively as though it is no big deal, I gasp and instinctively I move forward and hug her. She seems surprised but she responds and we sit embracing in a moment of silence.

Eventually I pull away, "I'm feeling very foolish now, for my outburst" I say, ashamed at my reaction, nothing had actually happened between me and Jack and after hearing what sustained horror Eva had gone through makes me feel like a brat.

Eva frowns and shakes her head, "Ana, it's ok and never think that, what you went through was no less of a traumatic experience than what happened to me or what happened to Gideon, it's not a case of whoever seemingly got abused least doesn't deserve to feel bad about it because they managed to escape far worse. What you have experienced is no less traumatic than what I have gone though, so you have no reason to apologise for your reaction to the fact your abuser is walking the streets," she smiles at me and I reach over and grasp her hand.

"Thank you" I say quietly. Eva smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

"Gideon said that you're pregnant" she says changing the subject, and nods towards my stomach.

I run my hand over my tiny bump, "Yes I am" I say, "I'm 18 weeks pregnant" I add.

"You and Christian are good together" she says.

I snort, "It wasn't always like that, and I even ran off to New York to get away from him at one point".

Eva stares at me in surprise, "really?" she says and I nod.

"Yes I had a habit of running when Christian did something I didn't like, he has erm… issues and baggage too" I say, "but we seem to have worked it all out," I add hastily.

Eva snorts and shakes her head, "You and I are so similar, I did exactly the same thing. I was so insecure, I ran at the first sign of trouble with Gideon, he hated it as it terrified him," she says.

I nod, "I can imagine, they both put on this front of big powerful and arrogant multi billionaire CEO's but underneath the surface and all the bravado they are both just broken lost little boys".

Eva nods in agreement. "They are" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning we are sitting around the table eating breakfast and I'm feeling much better the pains have gone now and I am looking forward to today and as we are discussing what we are going to do, I see Gideon and Christian exchanging knowing looks I wonder what all that is about I am distracted when my phone starts buzzing I look at it and frown.

"Who is it baby?" Christian asks, glancing over at me.

"Jose" I reply.

I wonder why he is calling this early, I see Christian stiffen as soon as I mention Jose's name and so do Gideon and Eva and it immediately attracts their full attention.

"Jose, is an old friend of mine from college" I explain to them, "Hi Jose" I say brightly as I answer.

"Ana, I'm so sorry I have bad news," he blurts out without any preamble.

"What's wrong?" I ask and I feel myself rising to my feet.

I hear Jose sigh, "It's your dad, he came to visit my father and as he was on route he was hit by a drunk driver, luckily there were plenty of witnesses including me and he was air lifted to Portland hospital, the big one. We are on our way there now but you need to get here, it was pretty bad".

"No, oh god no" I moan.

I feel my legs giving way and I grip the back of the chair tightly, "No, no" I say again.

Christian is on his feet in an instant and has his arms around me before the words have hardly left my mouth, he gently takes the phone from me and I turn into his chest and cling to him, he wraps his arm around me and speaks to Jose.

"Jose, its Christian Grey, what's going on?" he snaps, Jose is obviously telling Christian what has happened as his grip on me tightens, and his hand clasps the back of my head.

"Thank you for telling us Jose we will leave now" he says in slightly warmer tone and hangs up. "TAYLOR" he yells.

Almost immediately Taylor appears, "Taylor, Ana's father has been involved in a serious road accident, get me a flight plan for Charlie Tango to Portland immediately" Taylor nods.

"Yes sir" he replies and disappears.

Christian throws my phone on the table and then retrieves his own from his jeans pocket, I hear him calling someone, but all the time he is comforting me with his spare arm, I have my arms wrapped tightly around his waist and am quietly sobbing into his chest.

"Mom are you at work?... no... good, can you and dad make your way to Boeing Field, Ana's father has been involved in a road accident, and has been airlifted to Portland Hospital I am taking Charlie Tango and flying her there, I need you there mom... thanks, is dad there? Put him on please... dad, some fucking drunk driver has hit Ana's father in Portland, I want you on the case dad, it happened at 7:30 in the fucking morning... we are on our way to Boeing Field now... yes... thanks dad, we'll meet you there!" Christian hangs up and grasps my shoulders and easing me away from him he looks at me.

"Ana, baby look at me, come on listen to me I'm going to fly you to Portland to see your dad ok?"

I nod, I suddenly remember our guests, and turn to face them they are looking at me with sympathy and concern, "I'm sorry about this" I mutter wiping my face.

Eva stands and rushing towards me she embraces me fiercely, "Don't you dare Ana, don't apologise and don't worry about us" she says and she lets me go only for me to be immediately pulled into Gideon's strong embrace.

"We will come with you to Portland. We won't get in the way while you are at the hospital but I will meet up with Carrick and help with the legal side, find out who the asshole is and make sure he gets the fucking book thrown at him" he says with a grim determination.

Christian nods, "That's very good of you Gideon" he says.

Gideon waves his hand dismissively "It's the very least I can do, who is drunk at 7:30 in the morning and then stupid enough to drive?" he spits.

I have stopped crying and am feeling numb now. I don't say anything, Christian has his arm around me but I know he is floundering he has no idea what to say or do to comfort me as this is all beyond his control, I stare blankly at Eva as she grabs my hand and smiles at me.

"Come on let's get our coats" she says gently, Christian reluctantly lets me go and I allow her to lead me away.

It's a subdued car ride to Boeing field, in sharp contrast with last nights light hearted drive. When we arrive Charlie Tango is ready to go, and Grace and Carrick are waiting for us. Grace immediately wraps her arms around me.

"Ana darling, don't worry he's in good hands, I tried to get some information for you, but they won't tell me anything, because I'm not family, but I did try for you" she says.

I nod, "Thank you Grace that means a lot" I say, I remember Eva, who is standing with me and stroking my back and I turn to introduce her.

"Eva this is Grace and Carrick Grey, Christian's mom and dad. Grace, Carrick, this is Eva Trammell, Gideon's girlfriend, they are here visiting us".

Grace smiles widely and embraces Eva, "How lovely to meet you, it's a shame it's in such circumstances" Eva nods and smiles at Grace.

"Pleased to meet you too" she says politely.

Grace turns to Gideon who is in deep conversation with Christian and Carrick and greets him warmly with an affectionate hug, and then we all pile into Charlie Tango.

I take my usual seat next to Christian in the front and the others climb in the seats in the back. As I reach for my headphones Christian squeezes my knee gently and smiles at me. Taylor and Luke climb in and I see Taylor speaking on his phone I try to listen and it sounds like he is organising transport for when we arrive in Portland.

When he has finished he puts on a pair of headphones which Christian hands to him, presumably so he and Christian can talk. I watch as Christian does all his pre flight checks and then speaks to the tower at Sea Tac, soon we are in the air and heading towards Portland.

As I see Portland coming up in the distance, I turn to Christian. "Where are you going to land?" I ask.

Christian grins at me, "Don't worry about that, Taylor managed to get a special dispensation for me to land in the hospital grounds where the air ambulance lands. Stephan should be there waiting to fly her to my usual landing area afterwards, so we don't block the helipad". I hear Taylor's voice coming through the headphones.

"Sir, Stephan has just arrived at the hospital" he says.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian replies.

"See" he says to me.

I manage a weak smile, "Thank you" I say quietly.

When we land Christian escorts us all away from the helicopter and has a brief word with Stephan before shaking his hand and returning to us. Gideon pulls me towards him and bends to whisper in my ear.

"I'll see you both later, I hope your dad is ok. I'm going with Carrick to find out about the asshole who hit him, and I promise you we'll make sure he doesn't get the chance to hurt anyone else" he hugs me tightly and then holds his hand out to Eva.

"Ready Angel?" he asks. She shakes her head at Gideon and looks at me.

"I... I'd like to stay with Ana if that's ok?" she says.

Gideon nods, "Fine by me, is that alright with you guys?" he asks looking first at me then at Christian.

Christian shrugs, "I don't mind" he says.

I just nod, Eva immediately walks up to me and takes my hand, "Come on lets go find your dad" she says kindly.

Heads turn and mouths drop open as we all troop into the hospital and I watch in a daze as Grace and Christian completely take over and demand details. Christian has his arm tightly around my shoulder and Eva is holding my hand. We are directed to the OR and when we arrive we once again have to go through another 20 questions.

We are told my dad is in surgery and we are shown to a waiting room. I see Jose sitting waiting with his father, he stands and his face lights up as soon as he sees me, but that quickly fades when he sees Christian.

"Ana" he says.

"Hi Jose" I say, I watch as he takes a quick look at Christian and then hugs me.

"They won't tell me anything because I'm not family but I had to come" he says.

I just nod at him and I sit and start to shiver. Eva sits beside me and Christian sits the other, I see Jose frown at Christian and I wonder what the matter is. Christian isn't taking any notice though, he is clearly only concerned about me.

"Are you cold baby?" he asks, immediately removing his jacket and putting it around me and wrapping his arm around me and rubbing the tops of my arms. I just shake my head although I do feel cold.

Eva lets go of my hand and disappears and a few minutes later returns with a thermal cup of hot water and a teabag and a small bar of chocolate I smile gratefully at her surprised that she remembered how I took my tea from earlier.

"Thank you" I say.

"Its ok, I find chocolate is good for shock" Eva says with a shrug, Christian smiles at this, I think he is just happy that I have something to eat.

"Do you want anything Christian?" Eva asks. He shakes his head.

"No thanks" he replies, she turns to Grace.

"Mrs Grey?" She asks.

Grace smiles, "No thank you dear, and please call me Grace". She looks towards Taylor and looks questioningly at him, "What about you?" she says. Taylor shakes his head but doesn't say a word.

Eva sits down and pulls a bar of chocolate from her pocket and opens it, breaking off a square she pops it in her mouth and folds over the rest and pushes it back into her pocket. I see Jose looking at her, and I remember my manners.

"Jose, Mr Rodriguez, this is Eva, she is a friend of ours who is staying with us from New York, and Grace Grey, Christian's mother, Grace, Eva this is Jose Rodriguez an old friend of mine from college, and his father Jose senior."

Jose murmurs a quiet hello and Mr Rodriguez stands and shakes Eva and Grace's hand warmly.

"Where's Luke?" I ask, I have suddenly realised he is missing, I haven't seen him since we left the helicopter.

"He went with dad and Gideon, baby" Christian says gently, I nod, remembering.

After what seems like an eternity the door opens and a young male doctor walks in.

I stand up "Ray Steele" I mutter, Christian immediately stands and wraps his arm around me.

"Are you family?" the doctor asks me.

I nod, "yes he's my father" I reply as the doctor looks around the room at the crowd of people and Christian steps forward.

"Christian Grey, Miss Steele is my girlfriend" he says holding his hand out.

The doctor greets him politely, he looks tired, as he rubs his forehead, he proceeds to tell us a list of injuries, I feel my legs give way and once again that uncomfortable feeling in the bottom of my stomach, Christian tightens his grip on me, I hope he is listening to what the doctor is saying as I am missing most of it.

"What's the prognosis?" Christian asks calmly.

The doctor shrugs, "We've done all we can it's up to him now."

"Can I see him?" I ask nervously.

"Of course, if you head along to the ICU someone will let you in" he glances around at everyone, "Immediate family only and only two people at a time" he adds.

"Thank you Doctor, may I ask who is in charge of his care?" Grace asks.

"Dr Schluder" the man replies.

Grace beams at him, "I'd like to speak to her if that is alright?" she says, "Tell her Dr Grace Trevelyan is here," the man nods and leaves the room.

Jose stands, "We'll get going now we know what happened" he says and I nod.

"Thank you for coming" I say.

Jose grips my hand, "if you need me just call me ok?" he says earnestly.

I feel Christian stiffen, but he doesn't say anything.

"Thank you Jose" I say, and he bends and gives me a swift kiss on the cheek and his father hugs me tightly and tells me that my father is in his prayers, and then they both leave. I watch as the door closes behind them.

I look up at Christian, "Well done!" I say.

Christian raises his eyebrows at me in question.

"You didn't cause a scene when Jose kissed me" I explain.

"He still wants you" he replies bluntly.

"No he doesn't, and to be honest even if he did, I really don't care" I say.

Eva takes my hand again and as we walk out of the waiting room to head up to the ICU she whispers in my ear.

"Christian is right, that man wasn't here for your dad, the only reason he was here was to see you, it was written all over his face".

I shake my head, "he's just a friend" I protest.

Eva shrugs, "Maybe that's all he is to you, but I'm telling you that man is in love with you" she says.

I deny it again and Eva looks at me with an 'oh come on' look on her face, "why do you think he left as swiftly as he did? he realised that you would be going to see your dad and Christian would be with you, there was no point in him staying" she says.

I push those thoughts from my mind and we make our way to the ICU. When we arrive I hear someone calling out to Grace.

"Grace what are you doing here, I was told you were here and wanted to talk to me?"

Grace turns and smiles widely at the Doctor in front of her, "Lorraina, I'm here supporting my son's girlfriend" she turns to us. "This is Ana Steele, her father Ray Steele was brought in and you are his leading physician, and this is my son Christian" she looks at Eva, "This is Eva Trammell she is a friend of Ana and Christian."

Dr Schluder smiles and greets us all, "Ana do you want to come in and see your father?"

I nod, "Can Christian go in with me, please?" I ask.

Dr Schluder hesitates then smiles at my pleading look, "ok but not for long".

I turn to Eva, "Will you be ok waiting here with Grace?" I ask.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine" she says.

I walk in and I see Ray surrounded by machinery beeping and I see tubes and wires, I stop dead and my hand goes to my mouth.

"It's ok baby" Christian murmurs and urges me closer, I see Ray's hand on top of the bed, a nurse is busy doing something with a drip and I look up at her.

"Can I touch him?" I ask.

She smiles at me, "Of course you can, and talk to him too" she says.

I sit down beside Ray and take his large hand in both of mine, "Oh daddy please stay with me" I moan and all of a sudden its like a damn bursts and I start to sob uncontrollably. Christian crouches beside me and pulls my head on to his chest, and kisses the top of my head repeatedly. He looks around and pulls a chair up and sits beside me with his arm firmly around me.

As we are sitting there, someone walks in with a clip board looking apologetically at me.

"Miss Steele?" He says.

I look up and nod, "Are you the next of kin to Mr Steele?" he asks, I nod again, he sighs "I'm sorry to bother you but there appears to be a problem with your father's health insurance".

I feel Christian stiffen and I just know he is going to lose his temper. I reach over and grip his knee in warning, but he ignores me and stands in one swift movement and gestures to the door. I'm not quite sure why he did this as I can hear every word he is currently yelling at the poor person who came in.

"DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO APPROACH MY GIRLFRIEND WITH THIS?"

I close my eyes and cringe, I hear the person mumble and apology, and something else which I don't catch.

"WELL I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOSPITAL PROCEDURE, WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM?"

I hear muffled explanations of the issue.

"WELL THERE HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN AN ERROR MADE BY SOMEONE, MAKE SURE IT IS CLEAR THAT I WILL PERSONALLY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COST OF MR STEELE'S CARE AND I WILL MAKE SURE ALL MR STEELE'S MEDICAL BILLS ARE PAID IN FULL AND YOU HAD BETTER DAMN WELL MAKE SURE HE IS TO RECEIVE THE BEST CARE AVAILABLE DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

I hear a mumbled yes and moments later the door opens and Christian walks back in and sits back down beside me.

"Sorry about that baby. Idiots! They were saying his health insurance didn't cover the treatment he had received".

I shake my head, "No, it probably didn't" I say.

Christian looks dumb struck and pulls me close, it is clear he didn't consider for a moment that Ray wouldn't have adequate health insurance. "Don't worry baby, he will get the best care, I will make sure of it" he says quietly.

I sit with Ray for a while longer and talk to him, Christian to his credit sits with me holding my hand. I have never known him to be so still and quiet for so long. Suddenly I hear Christian's phone buzz, he pulls it out and looks at it.

"It's Gideon" he says and leaves the room to answer it.

Moments later I hear Christian yelling again "YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I hear further talking this time at normal volume and then Christian returns looking pale, he sits down and stares at me he grips my hand runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"What is it?" I ask.

Christian gazes at me and hesitates a moment before he speaks.

"The man who hit your dad... it was Jack Hyde".


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

I stare at Christian in disbelief, I can't say anything and I shake my head trying to process what he has just told me.

"Jack Hyde! How? Please tell me you are not serious?" I say eventually.

Christian shakes his head, "I only wish I was joking" he says.

"Gideon and my father are handling everything. He was in a rental car, which he picked up from the airport, he had been drinking on the plane god knows how he managed to rent a car and then he stopped at a liquor store and he was drinking and driving. It appears he was trying to make his way back to his home in Seattle but he was so wasted he ended up on the road to Portland and when he reached Portland he realised his mistake and U turned and that was when he ploughed into your dad. He has no idea it is your father, so it wasn't personal. He was just blind drunk and your dad got in the way".

"Where is he now?" I ask.

"Sleeping it off in a police cell" Christian says bitterly, "He tried to leave the scene but there were so many witnesses, he was stopped from doing so. He wasn't happy about that and assaulted a few people and the arresting officer so he's not exactly very popular".

I shake my head in disgust and look back down at Ray, lying there fighting for his life. "That man is a menace to society" I say bitterly. Christian doesn't say anything, just holds me tightly.

When Carrick and Gideon arrive at the hospital, we all decide to leave and go and get some lunch. Christian has to persuade me to leave my fathers bedside, telling me he is in good hands and there is nothing more we can do here and that the nurses have our number if anything happens. I know this is true, but I can't help feeling I am abandoning him.

I am still thinking this when we arrive at a restaurant and all head inside, until the need to pee takes over my thought process. I look around and spot the bathroom and as I move away from Christian he holds me close, preventing me from going.

"Where are you going baby?" he asks.

"I need to pee" I whisper pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll come with you," he says immediately.

I shake my head, "For god's sake Christian I need to pee, I'm fine going a few feet to the bathroom alone" I say irritably.

Christian smiles and immediately backs off but then he calls Luke over. I sigh but capitulate to Christian's over protective demand and Luke follows me to the bathroom, waiting outside.

When we come out, we make our way back and I see everyone talking and I take a moment to pause and watch. I notice Gideon and Christian whispering to each other and Christian is shaking his head adamantly. It appears that Gideon is trying to persuade him to do something by the gestures he is making and Christian is refusing.

I see Eva walk over and Gideon says something to her and she nods enthusiastically and then she appears to be also trying to persuade Christian to do something. Then Grace joins in and she hugs Christian and is talking seriously to him, and now he has stopped shaking his head and appears to be considering what they are all saying, so I am intrigued as to what is happening.

Carrick is the only one not involved as he is standing talking to Taylor. I walk over and Christian immediately walks towards me and grasps my hand tightly and we make our way to our table. Carrick, Grace, Gideon, Eva, Christian and I are all seated around one table and Taylor and Luke have a separate table a few feet away.

It's a sombre quiet meal with no real chit chat, apart from Grace trying to reassure me that my dad is doing well. Then Gideon speaks to Christian suddenly.

"Are you and Ana staying in Portland?" he asks.

Christian nods, "Taylor has booked a suite for us at the Heathman, what do you plan to do? You are welcome to stay on with us and Taylor can book you a suite, but if you want to head back home to New York instead we'll understand".

Gideon stares at him for a moment and then he seemingly thinks carefully before he asks, "Are you planning on going ahead with what you had originally wanted to do today?" he asks vaguely and then he looks hard at Christian as he says this.

Christian remains quiet for a moment and then quickly glances at me before he answers, "I'm really not sure its appropriate now" he answers equally vaguely.

I look at Gideon and then Christian and I know they are trying to hide something. I glance at Eva but she is talking to Grace and not paying attention to what is being said.

"Christian what are you hiding?" I ask bluntly.

He looks uncomfortable and shuffles in his seat. Gideon glances at me and then at Christian, "For what it's worth I think you should stick to the original plan" he says firmly, staring at Christian with his eyebrows raised.

I notice Grace and Eva both paying attention now and waiting for Christian's response to that.

I know something is going on now and it is starting to piss me off that I have no idea what it is, "Christian, what's going on? What are you hiding, tell me and tell me now," I demand.

Grace smiles at me and reaches across the table, "It's alright dear he's not hiding anything from you" she says kindly. I glance at Carrick and he looks as bewildered as I do.

Christian takes a shot look at his mother and she smiles and nods at him, he glances at Gideon and he nods and slaps Christian on the shoulder.

I see him think for a moment as if he working things out and then he nods his head, he closes his eyes and then when he opens them he stands holding out his hand, "Baby, come with me a moment" he says.

I take his hand and stand up, and I am surprised when he leads me outside and into a small secluded walled off area which has been made into a very pretty ornamental garden. There is a bench and some tables and flowerbeds and a small fountain. It's a chilly grey day and it is deserted, but Christian leads me to the bench and gestures for me to sit down and he sits beside me he wraps one arm around my shoulder and then places his other hand on my bump.

"What's going on Christian?" I ask, as he is starting to worry me now as he is clearly very anxious about something.

He turns towards me and grips my hand tightly. "Baby, listen to me. I love you but you know that. You are carrying my child and I can't even begin to contemplate life without you" he stops and runs his hands through his hair.

"Shit, I had this all planned and it was going to be so much better than this but..." he stops and reaches into his inside pocket and then drops to one knee in front of me, I gasp as he opens a small box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

"Ana baby, this isn't how I planned to do it but if there is one thing your dad's accident today has made me realise, it's life is too fucking short and all I know is that I want to spend the rest of mine with you and I don't want to wait a moment longer. You _are_ my life. I am nothing without you, so... will you marry me?"

He waits for my answer and the longer I stay silent I can see the fear growing in his eyes that I am going to say no and effectively reject him; but at this moment I am totally speechless, but I also realise I need to say something as the fear is quickly evolving into panic.

I smile at him and touch his face; the gesture calms him a little. My answer comes quickly when it does come as it was never going to be anything else because I love him so much.

"Ok" I whisper nonchalantly.

His face breaks into a huge relieved grin and he stands and pulls me up into his arms and kisses me repeatedly.

He stops and looking me straight in the eye he looks at me questioningly, "You will? You will marry me?" he asks again, almost disbelieving that I have actually agreed.

I nod at him. "Say it, tell me again" he demands.

I laugh, "Yes! Yes Christian Grey I will marry you" I say.

He picks me up and spins me around as I squeal and slap him to put me down. I press my hand to my stomach as I feel a slight cramping sensation and Christian notices and immediately puts me down and places his hand on my bump, and he looks at me anxiously so I give him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine" I say. I am now more certain than ever that the feelings I keep getting are when I feel extreme surges of emotion whether they be good or bad and I don't want this moment spoilt for him by another unnecessary dash to the hospital or a massive over reaction.

I hear a round of applause and we both turn and look and see Taylor, Luke, Carrick, Grace, Gideon and Eva all standing watching, clapping and smiling and I see that Grace is crying.

"She said yes!" Christian blurts out unnecessarily. He grabs my hand and pulling the ring from the box he slips it on to my finger and then lifts it to his mouth and presses a small sweet kiss on it.

He looks at me and smiles and his eyes are shining with love, "Mine" he whispers to me quietly.

I touch his face "Yours" I reply.

As everyone surges forward, Grace leads the charge and reaching us first I can see that she is beside herself with joy.

"Darling I am so happy for you, for you both" she says and she hugs Christian slightly awkwardly as he refuses to relinquish his hold on me.

Then she pulls me gently from Christian's arms and hugs me tightly. "Thank you, you darling girl, and welcome to our family" she says.

Gideon pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek, then shakes Christian's hand. "See I told you that you had nothing to worry about!" he says with a grin. Eva hugs Christian and then me.

"Congratulations guys" she says.

As we move to go back inside, Taylor steps forward. "Congratulations sir, Miss Steele" he says politely.

Christian beams at him. He still has my hand tightly in his and I see he has his phone in his other hand and it quickly becomes apparent that he is calling Elliot.

"Elliot, I asked Ana to marry me and she said yes" he says, "yes... yes she did, fuck off Elliott!... we are in Portland... Ana's father was in an accident and we flew here this morning in Charlie Tango... yes... I'll tell her, thanks bro, bye."

Christian turns to me. "He said congratulations and sorry about your dad". I nod and smile, I know Elliot also made some smart ass comments considering Christian's rude remarks to him. Next Christian calls Mia, and I see him bracing himself.

"Mia" he says and then he pauses and rolls his eyes "it's me, you know your brother, Christian" he says impatiently and I giggle.

"Listen Mia I have something important to tell you, I have asked Ana to marry me and she said yes," the next thing we all clearly hear a shriek and Christian is pulling the phone away from his ear and cursing loudly.

Carrick, Grace and Christian all shake their heads and roll their eyes, while Gideon, Eva and I all burst out laughing.

Christian attempts to speak again, "Mia... Mia... MIA, calm down will you, no we haven't discussed that, no, Mia I said NO, for fucks sake Mia, yes when we get back to Seattle we will, we are in Portland... because Ana's father is in hospital here, he was in a road accident... I will do... ok Mia, listen I have to go now, goodbye... yes Mia I will, damn it Mia I said I would... yes... Goodbye Mia" he hangs up and runs his hands through his hair.

"Ok the short version is she's pleased for us, said congratulations and also sends you her love and hopes your dad gets well soon" Christian says as he shakes his head in exasperation and pushes his phone into his pocket.

Gideon orders some champagne and I stare at it longingly. Grace smiles and pours a small amount for me I see Christian frown in disapproval, but Grace glares back at him.

"Just a sip won't hurt," she says firmly, but I am also wondering if this is such a good idea and I decide to just pretend to sip it.

Christian shakes his head and the champagne has barely touched my lips before he pulls the glass from my hands and we carry on with our lunch. Towards the end of the meal, I start thinking about my dad again and I feel guilty for having fun while he is fighting for his life in hospital. I stare the ring on my finger, Christian sees me and frowns.

"Do you like it?" he asks nervously.

I smile at him. "I do, it's beautiful it's very big but beautiful" I say.

"What's wrong then?" he asks.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about my dad. I sort of feel guilty about sitting here enjoying myself while he is in hospital in the ICU" I say.

Christian pulls me close and kisses my head, "Baby, he wouldn't want you to mope around, that isn't Ray, is it?" he says.

I shake my head, "no its not but he should be here sharing this moment with us" I say.

I rest my head on Christian's shoulder, my emotions are all over the place, worry about my dad, happiness that Christian has asked me to marry him, mixed up with all my out of control pregnancy hormones, and the on-going odd sensations I keep feeling in my stomach every time I have an emotional reaction to something. I feel like my head is going to explode.

I think Christian senses this too, "Do you want to go back to the hotel and have a lie down?" he asks, and I nod, I could do with a bit of time out.

"Yes but what about everyone?" I ask as I remember our guests.

"You are the most important person baby, you and our baby" he whispers in my ear and then presses a sweet kiss to my temple. I see Grace looking at me.

"Everything alright Ana?" she asks.

I nod, "Just a little overwhelmed with everything that's happened today" I say.

Christian takes charge, "I'm going to take Ana back to the Heathman for a rest and a sleep" he says firmly, standing up and pulling me to my feet. Gideon stands and hugs me and then slaps Christian on the back, Eva hugs us both and smiles widely.

After a quick discussion, it is decided that Taylor will take Christian and I back to the Heathman and then Luke will take Grace, Carrick, Gideon and Eva to Charlie Tango, where Stephan will fly them back to Seattle. Gideon and Eva have decided to then gather up their things from Escala and fly back to New York. We understand why they have decided to do this, with us here in Portland it's not fair to ask them to stay while we will be spending most of our time at the hospital. Gideon congratulates us and tells us he will be in touch. Eva seems quite sad to be going, I like her and I can see us becoming really good friends.

After a nap at the Heathman, Taylor drives us back to the hospital. As we walk up to the ICU I see a nurse come running out of Ray's room and asking a colleague to page Dr Schluder, I panic and run inside, I stop dead when I see my father with his eyes open.

"Daddy" I gasp, and immediately tears pour down my cheeks.

"Hey Annie" he rasps.

I sit down beside him and he grips my hand. His eyes fall on my ring and he looks up at Christian and he smiles, "You did it then?" he asks.

Christian nods proudly, "Yes sir I did".

"Well remember what I told you. If you ever hurt her again, I will find you and you will wish you had never been born".

"I understand Sir" Christian replies solemnly.

"Daddy" I say, shocked at what he has said.

Ray smiles at me, "Congratulations Annie, I suppose I'd better get myself well so that I can walk you down the aisle!" I giggle at this, I haven't even given the wedding a thought.

"Have you told your mother?" he asks me, and my smile immediately fades.

"No, not yet" I say.

"Well you'd better if she hears about it from the media she will be pissed" he says.

I nod, "I will, I'll call her tonight" I say.

We sit with Ray for a while, I read him some sports stories from the newspaper and he chats with Christian about fishing. We tell him that Jose and his dad came to the hospital when he was airlifted here, then eventually he looks at Christian and asks the thing I have been dreading.

"What happened to the guy who hit me?" he asks.

Christian leans forward clasping his hands in front of him, "He's in custody Ray as he tried to leave the scene, and then assaulted some people including a police officer, so he has a list as long as your arm of offences against him".

Ray looks at me and notices my reaction when he asked about the other driver.

"What is it Annie?" he asks, keeping his eyes firmly on me now.

"We know who it was who hit you" I say quietly.

"Really! Who?" Ray asks.

"It was Jack Hyde, he had been released and flew to Seattle, he was so wasted he took the wrong turn and ended up driving to Portland, when he finally realised his mistake was when he hit you".

Ray shakes his head, "Talk about coincidences!" he says.

We stay with Ray until it becomes clear he is tiring. I kiss his cheek and tell him to get well soon. When we return to the Heathman I decide to call a few people and tell them about my engagement. I start with Kate.

"Hi Kate" I say as she picks up the call.

"Hey Steele, how's your dad?" she asks.

"How...?" I begin as I try and work out how she knows.

"Elliot called me and told me, and he also told me about you and Christian, I figured you'd call when you got a moment, congratulations by the way!" she says kindly.

"Thank you, I'm sorry I didn't call until now" I say.

"Hey, don't worry, how is your dad?" she asks.

"He's awake so that's a huge relief" I say, "He's pretty beat up but he's too stubborn to give in" I add.

"Good, well congratulations Steele, but make sure that control freak doesn't take you over though" she adds.

"Kate, you don't know me very well if you think that will happen" I say firmly.

She laughs, "No maybe not" she concedes.

We wrap up our call and then I brace myself for my call to my mother. I check the time, it will be late but she should still be up, so I dial her number and wait.

"Hello" I hear Bob's voice and I smile, I like Bob and I hope that husband number four is a keeper.

"Hi Bob it's Ana, is mom there?" I ask.

"Hi Ana, hang on... CARLA! How are you?" he asks.

"I'm good Bob thank you, the pregnancy is going well and I'm feeling good" I say.

I hear my mother's voice and I wait, "That's good to hear, listen I'll hand you over - your mom is here now, take care Ana" Bob says.

"You too Bob and thank you" I say.

I open my mouth to say hello to my mom but swallow the words as she jumps in first. "Ana, why are you calling so late?" she asks defensively and more than a little irritably.

I roll my eyes. Here we go no hello Ana how are you? Just, why are you calling so late?

"I have some news" I say as I try and marshal my less than complimentary thoughts.

"Oh" she says, and I can't help but think she sounds totally disinterested.

I plough on regardless, "Dad was in a road accident he is in hospital in Portland, it was pretty bad but he pulled through and he is going to be fine, and... Christian has asked me to marry him and I said yes". I stop at the deathly silence.

"Mom are you still there?" I ask eventually.

"I'm glad Ray is ok" she says coldly and with little sincerity but she doesn't say anything else.

"Ok" I say, "What do you think about my other news?" I ask carefully.

There is another silence and just when I think she isn't going to say anything she speaks. "Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry him. Don't make the same mistakes I did and ruin your life like I did, that's what I think" she says.

This hits me like a punch in the gut and I feel the breath leave me in a rush, now I am wishing I'd never bothered calling her.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I also feel my anger rising. "Well it's nice to know I am a mistake that ruined your life" I retort. I take a deep breath as the now familiar clenching sensation ripples across my stomach, I realise that I need to calm down.

I hear her snort, she actually snorts. Does she think it is amusing to say these things?

"Ana please, yes you were a mistake, and there is no denying that. You weren't planned so you were therefore a mistake" there is a brief pause "but you know I love you" she adds almost as an afterthought.

At this moment I really and truly question that last remark and my mouth drops open and I shake my head, "Mom just stop, can't you just be pleased for me and even if you can't be, lie and pretend you are".

I feel Christian walk up behind me and wrap his arms around me and the feeling of having him near calms me considerably.

"What do you want me to say Ana? Congratulations I hope you will be very happy?!" she spits.

I stare at my phone completely flabbergasted by her reaction to this. "Yes mom, that's exactly what I want you to say. That is what everyone else has said, it's kind of customary when someone says they are getting married!" I say.

Another silence spreads out before she answers again. "Well I can't, you are my daughter so I won't lie to you. I think you are making the biggest mistake of your life, you are a smart girl but yet you picked the same path I did and got yourself pregnant before you could accomplish anything in life and now you are getting married. What is it? Has all his money blinded you?" She sneers.

I am totally speechless by that barbed comment, "I can't believe you just said that, I can't believe you even thought it. You really don't know me at all do you mom?" I say.

"Ana please" my mom begs, her tone has changed completely, she obviously realises she has crossed a line.

"No mom you have made your opinions and feelings very clear goodnight" I say and hang up.

I turn and sob into Christian's chest and tell him everything my mom said, I feel him stiffen with anger and he gently lifts me into his arms and carries me to the bedroom.

"Come on baby it's been an overwhelming day for you, get into bed and try and go to sleep" he says gently. I look at him carefully he is giving off some very odd emotions; I thought he was angry but now I'm not so sure.

I suddenly feel exhausted I climb into bed and smile up at Christian through my tears.

"Thank you" I whisper to him.

"No problem baby, I need to make a few calls and then I'll join you ok?" he says looking at me carefully.

I nod, "Go do your things and I'll be right here waiting" I say, "I may be asleep though" I add with a shrug.

Christian grins and kisses me before leaving the room. I lie there and feel myself drifting, until I get a tickle in my throat. I climb out of bed and head out to get myself a glass of water. As I go out I hear Christian talking on his phone.

"What do I do? Ana is so upset with what her mom said to her. I knew I should have never pursued her, she is far too good for me and now, have I really ruined her life by making her pregnant? I mean it wasn't planned, plus I don't want to be the one to crush all her ambitions and be responsible for her being estranged from her mother as well. Have I really done the right thing asking her to marry me? Plus I didn't do the proposal I wanted I had it all planned out, I wanted to spoil her and show her how much I love her, I wanted it to be romantic but what did I give her? A small garden at a restaurant on a grey day in Portland".

I can't help myself I walk up behind him, "Yes you have done the right thing, you always do the right thing and the proposal was beautiful, heartfelt and wonderful" I say.

Christian stands and spins around to stare at me.

"I have to go" he says to whoever he is talking to and hangs up.

"Who were you talking to?" I ask.

"Gideon" he replies, "he just called to say he and Eva are back in New York and for the record he said the same as you that I'm doing the right thing marrying you".

He looks at the phone in his hands and I walk towards him wrapping my arms around his neck and I look up into his face.

"Then start believing it" I say.

He smiles at me his shy lost boy smile. He recovers himself "What are you doing out of bed?" he asks.

"I needed a drink" I say.

"Well go and get into bed and I will bring you one" he says firmly.

I return to the bedroom and moments later he walks in with a glass of water for me.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning after breakfast we head to the hospital and find Ray sleeping, we are told he had a good night and is making amazingly good progress. I go and sit next to him and take his hand in mine and stroke it, As I do so he rouses and opens his eyes.

"Annie, sorry sweetheart, how long have you both been here?" he looks up at Christian and smiles at him, "Good morning son" he says.

"Good morning Ray" Christian replies politely as he pulls a chair towards the bed.

"Don't worry we have only just got here" I say.

He nods, and looks at me closely, "Annie what's wrong?" he asks.

I smile and try to fob him off, but he knows me and knows exactly what I am doing. "Annie I may be confined to this bed but I have a damn long memory and as soon as I am able I will put you across my knee if you don't tell me what's going on".

I hear Christian try and suppress a snort of amusement at this. I give him a look and he sits down beside me.

I am staring down at Ray's hand in mine, "I phoned mom last night and told her about our engagement" I say.

Ray sighs, "What did she do now?" he asks in a resigned tone.

"She wasn't very happy, she said I didn't have to repeat the same mistakes she did, she said that I had been a mistake and she also accused me of only marrying Christian for his money" I stop as the tears start to ooze out of my eyes.

"She said what?!" Ray exclaims.

"Daddy, please don't get upset you are not well enough, I shouldn't have said anything" I beg.

Ray stares at me for a moment and then turns to Christian, "Christian, do you think I could borrow your phone as I need to make a call?" he says a very controlled cold voice and one which I have never heard before.

"Daddy please" I beg once more, and I glance helplessly at Christian as I see him delve into his pocket and then hand Ray his phone.

Ray looks at it in confusion, he only has a really old basic cell phone nothing like Christian's.

Christian gently takes it from him and scrolls through his contacts and calls up Carla and then hands the phone to Ray. Ray nods his thanks and puts the phone to his ear and waits.

"Carla, its Ray not Christian... yes I'm fine, it takes more than a drunken idiot to keep me down. Yes... listen Carla, I said listen" he pauses.

"No, you will shut your damn mouth now and listen to what I am going to say. I hear you weren't too enthusiastic about Annie and Christian's engagement... well forgive me Carla but you know fuck all about that girl because you have never been there" he pauses again and I assume my mother is firing back at him.

My mouth drops open in shock I don't think I have ever heard Ray say that word before, as he has always been careful about his language around me, which goes to show just how angry and upset he is.

"No, Carla, you haven't and to accuse her of being a gold digger is low even for you, she is not you Carla..."

"I don't give a flying fuck what you think, but you listen to me, the next time you speak to Annie you will apologise and mean it. You will be happy for her and you will never, ever, EVER call her a mistake ever again". I can now hear my mother getting louder at the other end and Ray getting angrier, I am in shock as I listen to the one sided conversation.

"She is not to blame for your life choices Carla, she is the best damn thing you ever did but you are too selfish to realise it... I don't give a shit about your feelings, what I care about is the fact that my daughter is upset because of what her own mother thinks of her..." I am totally shocked I have heard Ray swear more in the last minute or so than I have my entire life.

"She is my daughter, I may not have been the god damn sperm donor, but I was there for her. I was the one who brought her up when you were off doing god knows what every night. I was the one who sat up with her all night when she was ill, I was the one who went to all her school plays and parents evenings. I was the one who cheered her on, on sports day and participated in the parent's race. I was the one there for her graduations from High School and college, and I was the one who picked up the god damn pieces when that piece of shit Morton tried to molest her, she is MY daughter Carla and don't you damn well forget it".

He stops and he is breathing heavily and I hold his hand tightly.

My mom is obviously saying something because he is silent and listening, then he says in a calmer voice, "yes I did give my blessing, Christian called me a few days ago to ask me for my permission, he assured me he loves her, and he assured me he would never hurt her. He assured me he will try to be the best father he can be to the baby when it comes and support Annie with her dreams and ambitions, which is good enough for me, and he knows should he ever do anything to hurt her and fail in any of those pledges he made to me I will find him and I will hurt him".

Ray looks at Christian as he says this and Christian nods and smiles. "I am going now Carla; you had better start practicing your apology... yes and Carla make it good". He hangs up and hands Christian his phone back.

"Thank you for that son" he says.

"Not a problem" Christian says as he looks at Ray with a whole new deeper level of respect.

"Ray, can I talk to you man to man?" Christian says as he pushes his phone into his pocket, Ray nods as Christian moves closer.

"Ray, you are a proud man and I don't want to embarrass or insult you and after what I have just witnessed I never want to get on your wrong side, but you would tell me if you were struggling... financially?" he stops he is obviously scared of upsetting Ray.

Ray sighs, "There is not enough cover on my health insurance is there?" he says.

"No there isn't, but you don't need to worry about it" Christian says, I grip Rays hand even tighter as I feel him stiffen, my dad is a very proud man.

"Did they come to you Annie? Oh god they did didn't they. I'm so sorry, I don't want to be a burden on you" he says.

"No dad no never, you could never be a burden" I say firmly.

Christian leans forward again, "Ray please don't worry, I took the liberty of paying all your outstanding medical bills, and I am being billed for your current care and before you resist, I... we need you well and healed. Ana needs you and well, you need to give her away at the wedding" he says.

"I want a full list of what you have paid out so I can repay you somehow, in instalments or something" Ray says stubbornly.

Christian shakes his head, "No, you are going to be my father in law, so it is the least I can do for you".

Christian holds his hand up to stop Ray protesting "Ray, you know I am a very wealthy man, I make more money an hour than most people make in a year but I started out in abject poverty, the like you couldn't possibly imagine. I can't stand by with everything I have now and watch a member of my own family struggle in any way at all, and you are now my family Ray never forget that". He stops and glares at Ray.

Ray glares right back, until eventually he slowly nods his head, "Alright thank you, but please remember I am a simple man and I don't need money. I have my home, my job and my daughter and that in my mind makes me a very rich man".

"Understood" Christian replies.

He doesn't tell Ray he has paid off his mortgage and arranged top of the line medical insurance for him as he realises this may be a step too far at this stage, and so he wisely decides to leave that for another time.

We sit with Ray, for most of the morning. I watch as he and Christian talk and behave in a relaxed manner with each other and it makes me happy as it's good to see.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

When we leave the hospital I am feeling much more positive. Christian leads me to the car where Taylor is waiting patiently.

"I think that went well with Ray," Christian says brightly.

I nod, "you didn't tell him about paying off his mortgage or the health insurance you have arranged for him though did you?" I say with a smirk.

Christian glances at me and then shrugs, "I didn't want to push my luck," he says wryly.

As we get closer to the car, Taylor walks towards us.

"Sir, Mr Cross called, he has discovered that the date of trial of Mrs Lincoln, Mr Morton and Mr Ellis has been set". Christian immediately wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his side.

"I see" he replies.

"Yes sir, I think with the tremendous stack of evidence against them they are looking for a plea bargain and want to get it over as quickly as possible. He has discovered that Mr Ellis has offered information in return for a reduced sentence, he apparently has been a victim of theirs as well and has talked about a very disturbing childhood". Taylor looks uncomfortable as he says this.

I nod my head, I had guessed as much from his demeanour and the way he behaved around Elena and Stephen in the warehouse.

"You could tell Damien was petrified of Elena and Morton" I say, "He tried to stay at arms length all the time and when Morton touched him he flinched really badly".

Christian shakes his head. As he does so his phone rings, and he looks at the screen and then smiles, he glances at me, "My attorneys, they are probably calling to tell me about the trial," he says.

He takes the call and nods at me as he speaks, when he hangs up, we know we have to go back to New York in three weeks time. I am shocked it is so soon, but anything which involves Christian and Gideon you can guarantee all the stops are pulled out.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three weeks later..._

"Everything ok baby" Christian asks, the concern in his voice is also written all over his face.

I nod, I am tired and the early morning for the flight to New York isn't doing me any favours. I am nervous about this trial, but determined to see it through, I haven't had any more pain though so that is a good thing and I am hoping that nothing is going to happen which will jeopardise me from doing my part to put those two away.

Ray is recovering astonishingly well and as a result of that Christian has had him transferred to Seattle to a rehab unit where his mother can keep an eye on him and it's easier for us to visit him regularly. Ray had protested at first until Christian had explained things. He was also predictably furious when Christian eventually told him he had paid off his mortgage and arranged the best possible health insurance for him. He and Christian had had heated words about it for over an hour, both as stubborn as each other and neither one wanting to budge, but inevitably Christian had got his way in the end.

I glance out of the window as the plane starts its descent to La Guardia. I am getting excited despite the trial as we are almost at New York and I am looking forward to seeing Eva again. We have talked, Skyped and emailed almost constantly since I first met her, in fact I think I have probably talked to her more than I have done to Kate recently and I know it hasn't gone down well with Kate. Carrick has flown out with us as legal support and when the trial starts Grace, Elliot and Kate are going to fly out and join us.

When we land, Gideon and Eva are waiting for us. When we walk down the steps Eva runs to me and wraps her arms around me and then does the same to Christian, much to his surprise. Gideon kisses me on the cheek and hugs me and looking down at my bump he comments on it getting bigger and then he and Christian embrace, slapping each other on the back. That never ceases to make my heart lurch, watching Christian so readily and confidently accept physical affection from someone, he has come so far in such a short amount of time.

We all head to our apartment, which is just a short walk down from Gideon's and Christian's New York house keeper greets us warmly and tells us that she has prepared a meal and drinks for us all.

After lunch and a few hours just sitting and catching up we go our separate ways, Eva and Gideon head back to Gideon's penthouse to change and then they are meeting us here later as Gideon has got us tickets for a Broadway show.

After Gideon and Eva leave, Christian walks up to me and strokes my bump which really does seem to be getting bigger by the day.

"How's my son?" he asks as he caresses my stomach.

"He's fine, he was a bit active on the flight here, but he has gone quiet now" I say.

I watch Christian bend and kiss my stomach, he has been walking on air since we went for a scan the other day and we got to know the sex of the baby. I knew Christian secretly wanted a son, the way he always referred to the baby as 'him' and 'he', but when I questioned him on what he would prefer, he always maintained he didn't mind, as long as the baby was healthy.

My mind goes back to the day a few days previously in Dr Green's office...

_"Well Miss Steele, everything seems to be progressing well, Dr Green points out various things on the scan for us and Christian sits there enraptured by the now human looking figure, he grips my hand tightly as he stares at the wriggling figure on the screen._

_"Can you see the sex of the baby?" he blurts out suddenly._

_Dr Green pauses and then nods, "If baby co-operates then yes, it should certainly be possible to find out, do you want to know?" Dr Green asks, Christian looks at me hopefully, I know he is desperate to find out, so I nod my head._

_"Yes we do," Christian says firmly and I see him lean forward as Dr Green moves the wand across me._

_She mutters 'come on baby Grey' to herself, almost as if she is trying to coax the baby to show us what we want to know, then suddenly she smiles, freezes the screen and points. I glance at Christian, and I can see he is really anxious about this._

_"There, look do you see, he is very much a little boy" she says, she is pointing to what looks just like fuzz to me. I glance at Christian and he has a wide grin on his face, all signs of anxiety are gone and I smile, as I suspected Christian is overjoyed at the prospect of a son._

_"I have a son" he whispers, he turns to me his eyes glittering with unshed tears, "I have a son" he says again, I nod my head and he wraps his arm around me and kisses me repeatedly on the face, neck and lips._

_He suddenly seems to remember where he is, "I do apologise Dr Green," he says as he pulls away from me and sits back down, composing himself._

_"Not at all Mr Grey" she replies with a smirk..._

"Earth to Ana, come in Ana" I am pulled from my thoughts by Christian speaking.

"What? Oh sorry... what did you say?" I ask staring at him, now fully back in the here and now.

Christian shakes his head and laughs, "You were away with the fairies there," he says and wraps his arms around me.

I smile, "I'm sorry" I say.

"Don't worry baby, I was asking, do you want a shower before we head out to the show?" he asks, and I nod my head.

"Yes please" I reply "and maybe you could join me?" I say quietly.

Christian doesn't need telling twice and he grabs my hand and practically drags me to the shower room.

As we stand under the hot water cascading around us, Christian washes me, paying close attention to my breasts and my small bump; his hands move lower and he crouches in front of me.

"Open your legs baby" he says, his voice thick with emotion. I do as he asks and the next thing I feel his fingers slowly sliding inside me, I groan and I feel his smile against my leg.

"You are so ready, you are always so ready for me," he murmurs, then the next thing I realise, he pushes me against the wall of the shower and gently lifts my leg over his shoulder and the next thing I realise he has his tongue thrusting inside me and flicking against my clit. I start to move my hips and I hear Christian groan.

"I want you inside me," I say breathlessly as I grip his head, Christian immediately stands and turns me to face away from him, and as he pushes up behind me I can feel his erection between us.

I feel his breath against my ear as he moves closer and then he whispers quietly, "This is going to have to be quick, because we don't have much time. Open your legs baby, and bend forward slightly", I nod and do as he asks and he presses a sweet kiss on my neck and then the next thing I feel is him pushing himself inside me, as he fills me I gasp and he immediately stills.

"Ok?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, "Oh god yes" I moan.

With that reassurance and now totally happy that he hasn't hurt me, he starts to move slowly and oh so gently.

"Oh god Christian," I say urgently and I feel him smile.

He grasps my hair and wraps his other arm around me and starts move faster until he builds to a punishing rhythm, he pounds into me, grunting on every thrust and all too soon I feel myself building.

"I'm so close baby, come with me" he says.

I moan in response, and I feel the exquisite warmth building, I tremble and squeeze him tightly, with him inside me filling me and his hands and mouth on me, I feel consumed by him and then when the orgasm reaches its peak and explodes, I call out his name, he pounds into me once more and then shuddering, I feel him hold himself deeply inside me and then empty himself with a loud shout. He grips me tightly and he calls out my name and then a moment or so later he relaxes and he rests his head on my back.

"Oh baby," he pants, and then he kisses my shoulder.

"Let me wash you," he adds. After a moment as he gently pulls out of me and then he turns me to face him but instead of washing me, he pulls me close and kisses me soundly, his tongue dancing with mine, as he does this I feel him starting to get hard again against me.

When we finally emerge from the shower we are scrambling, but it was worth it. We quickly dress and are ready seconds before the door buzzes. Taylor goes to answer it and I hear Gideon and Eva's familiar voices.

"Hi Ana, you look lovely" Eva says as she takes in my loose fitting blue dress.

"Thank you, so do you" I say slightly envious of the tight fitting little black dress she is wearing.

"Are we ready then?" Christian says glancing at his watch. I grab my purse and take Christian's offered arm as we head to the elevator, as I do so I take a deep breath as I feel a slight twinge in my stomach.

"Are you ok baby?" Christian asks.

I nod, "I'm fine honestly" I say, but I am wondering why I got that twinge as I'm not overly upset about anything but it isn't the usual cramping sensation it feels… different but then I think about the session of sex we have just had and I smile that must be it. I rub my bump and I feel the baby move inside which reassures me.

As we emerge I see Angus is waiting outside in Gideon's limo and when he sees us he quickly exits the car ready to open the doors for us. Both Angus and Taylor are scanning the area, when suddenly Eva gasps and clings to Gideon.

"No... It can't be, please... god no, not him" she mumbles.

"What is it Angel?" Gideon asks anxiously, his attention focussed on Eva's terrified face. Taylor and Angus both go on full alert and quickly look around to try and see what upset and terrified Eva.

We all climb into the limo, and Eva looks as though she is going to collapse, she is shaking violently and is deathly white.

"Angel, talk to me right now," Gideon demands, he is clearly panic stricken by her reaction.

I reach out towards her to try and offer some comfort.

"Eva what is it, what did you see?" I ask her gently, and as I grip her hand I frown as it is icy cold.

I look towards Gideon who is still staring at her dumbstruck, "Gideon, she's in shock, she's freezing cold, do you have a blanket or anything?" I ask.

He quickly removes his jacket and wraps it around her, and then fumbles under a seat to retrieve a blanket.

"Angel, what's upset you?" he asks, clearly beside himself.

"Nathan," Eva whispers so quietly that I barely heard it but Gideon did and he immediately stiffens, an uncontrollable flash of rage appears in his eyes for a moment, before he quickly forces it away and leaps into action as he grabs his phone.

"Raul, it's Barker - he's here in New York... yes, Nathan fucking Barker... find out where he is now and get someone on him 24/7" he barks and then abruptly ends the call, his flint like gaze softens as he pulls Eva close to him.

"It's ok Angel, I've got you," Gideon says as he holds Eva close and gently rocks her.

"Who is Nathan?" Christian asks in confusion, as he watches the events unfold in front of him.

I stare at Eva and our conversation in Seattle comes back to me.

"Eva's rapist" Gideon says quietly, I hear Eva sob and I reach for her hand once more to try and offer her some sort of comfort.

Christian takes a sharp intake of breath at Gideon's words and taps sharply on the privacy glass, the glass slides down and Taylor turns towards Christian.

Christian glances at Gideon questioningly, "What's did you say his full name was?" he asks.

Gideon reluctantly drags his attention from Eva to Christian, "Nathan Barker" he says quietly through gritted teeth and just saying the name produces a shiver and another distressed sob from Eva.

Christian's mouth drops open, as he obviously knows that name, "Nathan Barker... not Eric Barker's son?" he asks carefully.

Eva's head whips up in surprise, "you know him?" she gasps.

Christian snorts and shakes his head, "know him! I beat the perverted little shit to a pulp after he tried to touch up my sister Mia. He was an acquaintance of a friend of my brother Elliot's, and one day, when we were kids, Elliot's friend came to call for him or something, I don't know the details but what I do remember was that little shit was tagging along as well and he couldn't take his eyes off Mia, and then he followed her outside. She was just nine fucking years old at the time, I was fifteen, and I had a really bad feeling about it and so I followed him to see what he was doing and I heard Mia telling him to leave her alone. She sounded really scared and when I arrived he had her pinned against the wall and he had his fucking hands all over her, nobody does that to my sister and I just reacted, I had never been so fucking angry as I was at that moment and I dragged him off her and I beat him senseless".

We are all hanging on Christian's every word, Eva in particular sits listening with her mouth hanging open. I have to say, I am also shocked as I realise it is yet another link between us, this time involving Eva, I catch Gideon's eye and the look he gives me tells me he is thinking pretty much the same thing. I return my attention back to Christian who is still talking.

"Elliot pulled me off and told me to stop it, until I told him what he was doing to Mia. Mia was crying and she backed me up and told Elliot what he had done, so then he lost it and laid into him as well".

Christian pauses and looks at me with a slight smile, "and you know how easy going Elliot is, it takes a lot for him to lose the plot". I nod in agreement; I can't even imagine sweet natured, laid back Elliot ever losing his temper.

"We were both in trouble, big trouble as we had both inflicted some serious damage on him, until I told my dad what I caught him doing to Mia, and Elliot told him that although he hadn't seen the assault, Mia had confirmed it to him by what she had said. It was the only time I can remember that I wasn't punished for fighting. Eric Barker came round and laid into my father, I'll never forget it, he came round hammering on the door and yelling and my dad opened the door and he barged his way in, all guns blazing telling him he was raising a couple of thugs and that he was pressing charges against us and have us both thrown into juvie. My father just stood there and calmly told him that he would sooner raise thugs who protected their little sister than a sexual pervert who tried to attack her. That shut him right up and he went on to tell him what I'd caught his son doing to Mia and as soon as he told him how old Mia was, he backed right off and left without another word".

Eva stares at Christian, she appears to be working something out in her mind, "Christian do you remember when this was, you were saying Mia was nine so what year was that, roughly?"

"Mia was born the same year as me in 1989 so that would be 1998," I say immediately, Christian stares at me and nods.

"Yes that's right 1998, I'm 28 now so yes that's right" he agrees as he quickly works it out.

" I was fifteen and it was the summer of 1998 that I had my first encounter with Elena and that was one of the last fights I had," he says, "Why?" he adds.

"I am three years older than Ana, and your sister so that would have made me twelve, and now you have told me this I know exactly when it was, I even remember that day, because he went out and I was relieved that he had gone, but he came home beaten up and bloody, he was a complete mess. I mean really battered, his left eye was barely open it was so bruised and swollen. His nose was broken and a couple of ribs, he was missing a few teeth, and that's before you even start on the blood, and bruises everywhere else." She pauses and grins at Christian who just shrugs.

"Anyway, he washed himself and cleaned himself up and because he was so badly hurt he left me alone and it was wonderful. I had a respite for a few weeks while he healed".

She pauses again and her face darkens, "but he made up for it when he was healed, and the first time he came for me, after that day, he was particularly vicious to me".

She stops and turns her head towards Gideon and he pulls her tightly towards his chest.

"Shit, I don't fucking believe it" Christian says he has gone deathly white, he remembers Taylor who is listening to all this, and looks at him and barks at him what he wants him to do, "Nathan Barker, get on to Welch and track that fucker down," he says.

"Sir" Taylor replies and the privacy screen goes back up.

"Eva I don't know what to say," Christian says, I know immediately from his tone and the look on his face that he is now blaming himself for that particular attack on Eva.

"Christian stop it" I say sharply, I grasp his arm, "Look at me" I add.

Christian turns towards me, and looks at me bleakly, I ignore it and I try and make him see reason.

"Christian, he would have attacked her whether or not you had beaten him or not, he had been raping Eva since she was 10 years old, and it only stopped when she was 14 so this particular incident was right in the middle of that time span, so you are not to blame, if anything you helped her as you gave her a couple of weeks of peace".

Eva's head shoots up and she stares at me, "Say that again Ana" she says.

"Say what?" I ask, "That it was right in the middle of that time span and not Christian's fault?"

She nods, it is obvious she is putting two and two together and working things out, "His father went to see your father and he backed off and left without a word, he knew... he fucking knew, he knew what his son was like. Oh my god, he fucking knew what he was doing to me and he did nothing about it!"

She stares at Gideon, anger flashing in her eyes and with a renewed sense of determination she pulls her phone from her purse, and we all watch as she dials a number and waits.

"Clancy I need you to find me a cell phone number, Eric Barker... Nathan's dad, that is correct" I see her quickly jot a number down and thank whoever Clancy is and hang up, then she dials the number and waits, when the call is answered she puts it on to speaker so we can all hear the call and then with a cold and controlled voice she speaks.

"Eric, its Eva Trammell" she says, her whole demeanour now screams controlled anger - she is really pissed.

"Eva? Monica's Eva? Well this is a surprise, what can I do for you Eva?" he asks, I don't know whether it is my imagination or not but he sounds nervous.

"Eric, when did you find out about Nathan and what he was like?" Eva asks mildly.

There is silence for a moment until he responds, "Eva, you know when it was, it was when your mother told me what he had done to you, I had no idea he could be so... perverted, before then".

"Liar" Eva snaps.

"I beg your pardon Eva I must..." Eric splutters.

"You are lying, because in 1998 when I was twelve years old which would be two years into my four year nightmare, when we were living in Bellevue, Washington State, you went to speak to Carrick Grey about his sons Christian and Elliot beating Nathan to a pulp, but you dropped it and backed off because he told you the reason they had bashed him" she waits and there is a prolonged silence.

Eva waits and then it becomes clear Eric Barker isn't going to say anything she continues, "Let me refresh your memory Eric, the reason that they beat him to a pulp and more importantly the reason you left without a word and didn't press charges for assault as you were threatening to do was because Christian had caught Nathan feeling up Mia his nine year old sister. Carrick Grey is a lawyer a very respected lawyer and you knew that if you kicked up about it he would disclose publicly the reasons why and obviously you didn't want the world to know your son was a depraved abuser and rapist, I mean had it gone any further I may have seen and heard what he had done and that might have given me the courage to speak out about what Nathan did to me, and then it was not long after that, that we all moved from Washington state to New York".

She stops and waits and there is another deathly silence.

"You knew what he was like, you fucking knew but you never said a word or did a thing, did you know what he was doing to me? Because, I swear to god if you did". She hisses angrily and I see Gideon is rigid as he sits listening, his eyes fixed on Eva's phone.

Eventually Eric Barker sighs and speaks, "Ok I knew Nathan had problems, but I loved your mother and I didn't want to lose her, I knew she would never knowingly put you in any danger and she would leave me if she found out about Nathan, so I kept his previous indiscretions to myself, but I never believed he could or would go so far and be so vile Eva, you have to believe me, when the extent of the abuse came to light of what he had done to you, I was devastated. I swear to you I had no idea what he was doing to you and couldn't live with myself when it came to light, I still can't, knowing what you went through from such a young age, you have no idea how guilty I feel every single day," he pleads in a pathetic whiney voice.

Eva snorts rudely, "My heart bleeds for you, you have no idea what I go through every single day either, every day there is always the chance something will trigger me and I will panic and lose it. Your son took away my innocence and he violated me repeatedly and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life".

I see Eva hang up and I reach forward and hold her tightly, she rests her head on my shoulder and sobs uncontrollably.

Gideon presses a button on the console, "Angus, forget the show, take us back to the penthouse" he says.

We feel the limo turning and heading back the way we came, nobody speaks as we are all in a shocked silence. Christian shakes his head and is the first one to break the silence, voicing the realisation I had come to a few moments ago.

"What other links are we going to find between us all? It's incredible, I am speechless. It is like there is this invisible cord which is entwined in all of our lives linking us together, in ways which we could never have imagined," he says.

**oooOOOooo**

We are sitting in silence in Gideon's penthouse, Gideon and Christian are both clutching tumblers of bourbon and Gideon is restless he is pacing the room. He is clearly furious that Nathan Barker has managed to get so close to Eva. Eva is still obviously freaked out after seeing him again and is trembling slightly and very pale and I think we are all surprised at the link between Eva and Christian through Nathan.

I put my arm around Eva and she crumbles and clings to me sobbing into my shoulder, this attracts Gideon's attention and he is immediately by her side, crouching beside her.

"Angel, don't cry, please it shreds me when I see you so upset," he reaches for her and pulls her from my arms and into his own.

"I swear Angel he won't touch you, he won't be even come near you, I will do anything to make sure that you are safe and free from him".

I see the determination in his eyes and I shiver at the tone of his voice. As I watch, I have a sudden urge to pee and I stand up as I do so I feel a crippling pain shoot through my stomach and I gasp, doubling over and clutching at my stomach. This is different, nothing like the small twinges I have been getting for the past three months or so or the pain I had earlier. Eva and Gideon both look at me with concern and Christian is beside me and holding me, clearing freaking out by what he has just witnessed.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks, panic stricken.

I stand up and take a deep breath, "I'm fine" I gasp "I just need to pee" but I am worried and I am definitely going to ask Christian to take me to the hospital after I have been to the bathroom as this was nothing like anything that has previously occurred, this wasn't a harmless twinge.

Christian frowns at me but says nothing. I really don't feel well and take another deep breath as I head to the bathroom, and as I reach the door I feel very strange indeed. I go really light headed and dizzy, my legs feel like lead and it feels like I am barely able to move them, then I get another pain, much stronger and more sustained before I feel a gushing sensation, I feel wet, very, very wet and when I look down all I see is blood pouring from me and trickling down my legs, I grasp at the wall as I fall to my knees.

"CHRISTIAN!" I shout urgently, the room starts spinning and the voices around me sound distant and echoey.

I perceive movement, but I can't see properly and as everything goes black all I hear is Christian's distant voice screaming my name.

**oooOOOooo**

I open my eyes, I have no idea where I am, what time it is or anything, I feel confused as I look around me and realise that I am in a hospital bed, I have a mask on my face feeding me oxygen and an IV in my arm and as I look at it that is when it all comes back to me, the events of last night, the pain and all that blood, my hand goes down to my stomach searching for my bump, but it's no longer there and a tear leaks from my eye, at the realisation of what that means. I look around the room, and see Christian is lying fast asleep in a chair next to me but despite the fact he is sleeping he is not totally relaxed as he is still holding my hand tightly. My gaze shifts to Gideon, who is in another chair behind him, again fast asleep and then I turn my head and see Eva, who is on my other side, she is awake and smiles warily at me.

"Hi" she says quietly.

"What time is it?" I ask.

She looks at her watch, "Nearly 8:30am" she whispers and as I quickly mentally recollect the night before, I touch my stomach again.

"My baby?" I whisper and Eva shakes her head sadly.

"I'm so sorry Ana, he didn't make it" she says as she reaches for me and briefly grips my other hand.

A sharp surge of pain and grief almost consume me, my baby has gone, I look at Christian, who looks so peaceful and oblivious.

"How did he take it? I am assuming he has been with me all night?" I ask nodding towards my fiancé.

Eva nods, "Badly" she says, "Very badly" she reiterates.

She leans closer and hesitates as if she doesn't want to tell me what happened but I think the look I give her, gives her the motivation to continue.

"He was beside himself, you had lost an awful lot of blood and he was terrified that he was going to lose you, it wasn't as though he didn't care about the baby because he did but his main concern was you and it was awful to watch. We tried to support him and convince him you would be ok, and yes he didn't leave you for a moment, he was glued to your side, he pretty much managed to hold it together, until they told him the baby was dead and then he just lost it completely. I think that he'd almost disregarded the baby up to that point because he was so focussed on you and when it became real that the baby had died it hit him really hard, and he refused to leave you even when... when they, you know... got the baby out. He was in such a state that they had to lightly sedate him, so they could take you away and… you know. We stayed with Christian and Gideon got that guy Christian spoke of on the phone… Flynn or something and told him what had happened and he dropped everything and said he would fly out immediately. Gideon called the pilot of one of his planes which was on route to Nevada to divert to go and fetch him from Seattle and bring him here, so he should be here later this morning".

My heart breaks as I hear all this and guilt of what I have done consumes me, "thank you for taking care of him" I whisper and Eva waves her hand.

I stare at Christian and stroke his head, my fingers running through his beautiful copper hair. As he feels my touch his eyes fly open and his head whips up, as his eyes meet mine, I see the pain, grief and desolation in them.

The guilt I am feeling is tremendous, all these weeks the twinges I have been getting on and off and keeping to myself so I didn't worry Christian has resulted in this. I think back to the many unnecessary trips to this very hospital here in New York and I try to tell myself that each time we went we were assured that everything was fine, and then the equally large number of unnecessary trips when we were back at home in Seattle. So much so that I had got so embarrassed that we were wasting their time and it was causing Christian unnecessary pain and stress so I had learnt to keep quiet and I just brushed it off and ignored it and now this has happened, now I believe that was preferable to what we are now going through and it is all my fault. Our baby is dead and its all my fault for ignoring all the warning signs.

"Oh baby," he moans and his words rouse Gideon, and he opens his eyes and moving slowly he stretches.

I watch Eva stand up and rounding the bed she pulls Gideon to his feet, "Come on, let's go and tell them Ana is awake and get something to drink," she says.

I know she wants to give us a moment alone, and I smile gratefully at her. Gideon gets the message and they leave the room.

As soon as the door closes, and we are alone Christian breaks down, "Oh I'm so sorry baby, you needed me and I let you down," he moans.

"Christian how did you let me down, you couldn't have prevented this?" I say as I feel even worse about what I have done, now that I know that there is a chance I could have prevented it.

"But I should have held it together, but I lost it when they told me our son had died, and they had to sedate me, I saw you bleeding, there was so much blood and I was convinced I was going to lose you as well, and instead of being strong for you I lost all my self control," he says.

"Christian, I was unconscious I didn't know what was going on so you didn't fail me. As you say, I was losing blood and our baby its no wonder you were panicking, it was a natural reaction," I say gently, "Don't feel bad about it please" I say.

Christian grips my hand and kisses my knuckles. We sit in silence when there is a knock at the door, a nurse pops her head around the door and then comes in. "Dr Henderson has been paged, I believe you saw her when you were living here in New York" she says.

I nod, moments later the door opens and Dr Henderson enters she glances at Christian and then comes over and sits on the edge of my bed, taking my hand she smiles sympathetically at me.

"Ana, how are you feeling? She asks kindly, I shrug and say nothing as the intense pain is slowly receding and I just feel the guilt, the overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that I caused this. The only thing that keeps going through my mind is 'why me? Why did my baby have to die?'

"Have you been told what has happened?" she asks, and I nod almost on autopilot.

"Ok, I am very sorry, I understand from Dr Green in Seattle you had a scan very recently before you flew out to New York?" I nod again.

"It was a boy," Christian mutters quietly, "I saw him on the screen, moving around, a little boy" he says, the devastation evident in the slight cracking of his voice as he speaks.

I remove myself from Dr Henderson's hold and sit up carefully and wrap my arms around Christian, he clings to me and that opens the flood gates for us both and we just cling to and sob on each other. I whisper endless words of apology to Christian but they sound hollow and meaningless. My guilt increases when Christian tries to reassure me that it wasn't my fault when I know full well it was.

Dr Henderson gives us a moment before she continues to speak. Christian pulls himself together and mutters a word of apology.

"Please do not apologise, you have no reason to, you both have every right to feel the way you are doing". Her words don't really offer any comfort but I manage a weak smile, as she continues to explain what happened.

"It was instant, there was nothing anyone could have done, the placenta became detached and as soon as that happened, you started to bleed, and that was it".

She says it in a kind but matter of fact voice.

"The baby came away too and he was dead?" I ask.

Dr Henderson nods, "you went into spontaneous labour and your body expelled the foetus".

I close my eyes and I feel tears starting to build.

"He was so tiny" Christian says quietly.

I stare at him, "you saw him?" I gasp.

Christian nods, "When I came to after they sedated me they brought him to me and he would have fit in the palm of my hand," he says and I swallow hard at the mental picture I am getting of Christian seeing his son.

"Miss Steele, would you like to see your son, to say goodbye?" Dr Henderson asks me gently.

I take in a sharp breath, do I? I am not sure, do I really want to see the little baby I murdered through my own negligence? A part of me thinks that if I do get chance to say goodbye properly then it will only help Christian as he will be able to heal, I am certain I will never forgive myself for what I did. I look at Christian who is gazing at me intently.

"What do you think?" I ask him.

Christian reaches for my hand and squeezes, "it's up to you baby, if you want to then we will" he says.

"You saw him… did it help?" I ask.

I watch as he considers this, "thinking about it rationally now, yes, I think it did but then I was just too worried that I was going to lose you as well to think very clearly about it… so I think I'd like to see him again now" he says sadly.

That makes my decision easy and I nod and turn to Dr Henderson, "yes I think I'd like to see him please" I say.

Dr Henderson leaves the room and a few moments later a nurse comes in and the miniscule little body is placed in my hand, the tears just start and don't stop as I look down at him. I marvel at him, he looks like a baby but just in miniature and I don't know why but I didn't think he would, Christian sits silently beside me his arm wrapped tightly around me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I whisper and I feel Christian pull me close.

"Ana stop it's not your fault" he says and that makes the tears fall faster.

"It is, all those times I had twinges and disregarded them, and I didn't say anything because I didn't want to worry you" I blurt out.

Christian stills and stares at me, "When?" he asks.

I put my head down, "a few times, they were the same sort of cramping pains I had after I was taken by Elena and Stephen, do you remember?" I ask and Christian nods.

"They told us repeatedly here and back home in Seattle that everything was fine so I start to disregard them and didn't tell you when they happened because I didn't want to worry you because I saw how much it upset you" I say.

I watch as he swallows, "The pains you had had last night were they the same?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No they were different, totally different" I say.

Christian nods, "Then you have done nothing wrong, we were told repeatedly that nothing was amiss and it appears you went weeks having similar pains and nothing untoward happened so it was correct – there was nothing to worry about. This was different". He says as he rationalises the situation.

I think about what he has said and I nod. "When I went to go and pee I knew something was wrong and I was going to ask you to take me to the hospital when I came out but…" I shake my head and start to cry.

Christian holds me tightly, "Stop, and listen to what you just said, you _knew_ something was amiss on this occasion, you knew instinctively something wasn't right and you wanted to check it out. While before you knew it wasn't serious so you dismissed it… and that was the right call so don't beat yourself up about this Ana, you did nothing wrong". He says. I look at him carefully and I wonder if he is just saying that to make me feel better about what I did.

I nod but his words offer me little comfort at the moment as I am still thinking what if? I look down at the lifeless little figure in my hand.

"We'll give him a proper burial, whatever you want baby just tell me and I'll sort it out," Christian says firmly as he watches me and I look up at him.

I am surprised at the very controlled voice but then it hits me, I know what he is doing, he is trying to fight his own emotions by hiding them behind the CEO facade and he is going into organisational mode, he wants to do something so he doesn't feel the pain of the loss he is feeling.

I nod, "I'd like that" I whisper.

Christian wraps his arm around me, "I feel guilty as I didn't give the baby a thought, when I saw you on the bathroom floor covered in blood all I could think of was that I was going to lose you, the first time I really thought about him was when they told me he'd died" he says sadly.

"We are both feeling guilty for different reasons and we will need each other to get through this" I say quietly.

Christian nods, "I'm right here baby and I'm going nowhere" he says fiercely.

We are given as long as we need and then the little body is carefully taken away and Christian issues his wishes as to what we want to do. I watch as the nurse leaves and I swallow hard. We are left alone for a while longer and then Dr Henderson returns.

"Miss Steele, are you up to me giving you an examination now?" she asks kindly, I nod and glance at Christian.

"I'm not going anywhere!" he states flatly.

"That's fine Mr Grey, you can stay I just want to have a feel of Ana's tummy to check things over and run a few tests" Dr Henderson says calmly.

When Dr Henderson has finished her examination and talked to us about both the physical and emotional side of losing a baby and given us some pamphlets to read and advises us to contact a mental health provider to talk through our experience, she leaves us alone once more.

Almost immediately Gideon and Eva walk in carrying a tray with drinks and some food on. Eva looks around and pulls up a table and Gideon sets down the tray. They both look at us warily and I know they are unsure of what to say to us. I smile weakly and thank them for the tea.

I concentrate on preparing my tea, and take a sip while Christian watches me closely.

"Eat something baby" he says. It's a demand, but not said in the usual tone he uses when he bugs me about my eating habits.

"You should too," I say, and I push the plate towards him, I watch as Christian takes a piece of bacon and pops it in his mouth.

Nurses wander in and out throughout the morning, and Gideon and Eva don't leave, I find myself telling Eva about saying goodbye to the baby and she just quietly listens and lets me talk which offers me more comfort than I could ever express.

I suddenly remember the events of the night before, "What happened about Nathan?" I ask.

I see Eva stiffen at the mention of his name and I feel guilty, but Gideon quickly answers.

"He has been tracked down to one of my hotels in central New York, he has been staying there for three days so far, Welch found him and my team have confirmed it, we now have a tail on him and as I speak, we have restraining orders in place".

With another jolt of realisation I remember the trial. "Shit, we were due in court today to talk to the prosecution team!" I exclaim.

Gideon smiles, "Relax Ana, Taylor and I took care of everything, we explained the situation and the trial has been put back for two months, to give you time to recover" he says.

"Thank you" I say, and Christian nods.

"Yes I appreciate that," he says quietly.

Gideon waves away our thanks dismissively.

Moments later and there is a knock at the door, "Come in" Gideon calls and the door opens and I smile as I see John Flynn, he looks straight at Christian and standing behind him is a worried looking Grace.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

"Mom?" Christian says, he immediately stands and walks over to her.

"Oh darling, I'm so sorry" she says holding out her arms to him; I see Christian dissolve into tears and rest his head on Grace's shoulder.

"We lost our baby, and it's all my fault" he says.

"I know you did, I know but it's not your fault Christian, how can it be? Don't think that" Grace says holding him tightly.

When Christian eventually pulls himself together, I look at Flynn and am surprised by the look he is giving Christian, he looks pleased which is hardly an appropriate reaction but then it hits me, this is probably the first time he has seen Christian showing any type of emotion not to mention his interaction with Grace where he is letting her hold him tightly.

"Christian would you like to come and talk to me? Let Grace sit with Ana for a while, I have a room secured for us if you want to do so?" he asks carefully.

Christian looks back at me questioningly and I nod at him encouraging him to go and talk with John.

"Ok" he says quietly.

I see the astonishment register on Flynn's face that Christian has capitulated so easily, he was obviously gearing up for a fight or a tantrum from him. Christian walks over to me and holds me tightly.

"I won't be long" he says.

I squeeze him and tell him to talk everything through with Flynn; he nods and leaves the room. Grace walks over to me and hugs me.

"I'm so sorry Ana" she says, and those words trigger another deluge of emotion, I feel the tears starting to flow and all I can do is nod. Gideon and Eva discreetly leave the room to let us be alone. Grace reaches out to Gideon as he passes her, and squeezes his hand and he responds by leaning down and kissing her cheek politely.

As soon as we are alone I collapse into Grace's arms and cry, I let it all out and I talk, I tell Grace how gutted I feel, how I fear Christian will blame me, how I blame myself, the guilt for not listening to my body in the misguided notion of protecting Christian and stopping him from worrying, how I can't bear how this has made Christian feel, it all comes tumbling out in a jumbled mess and Grace says nothing she just holds me and strokes my hair, rocking me gently. When my sobs finally subside and I am left with just small hiccups Grace begins to speak.

"Ana, darling you listen to me, you are not to blame for any of this, Christian told me about the pains you were having and how you came to the hospital to get checked out, and were given the all clear on every occasion, so it was only natural for you to assume it wasn't anything serious, you weren't bleeding, the pain wasn't bad and it soon passed, so you reasonably assumed it was just a twinge, and more than likely it was. You were not negligent Ana, you did listen to your body and you made decisions on what it told you. This was different but it was also one of those things, this baby wasn't meant to be and it's nobody's fault. Christian won't blame you, because he will be too busy blaming himself but I will tell him the same thing as I am saying to you, you will need each other more than you will ever realise over the next few months or so, it's going to be hard, and you are both going to hurt, and when you fight you will probably blame each other, but you need to remember it wasn't meant to be and neither of you are to blame".

I look at Grace sceptically and she gives me an assessing look.

"Ana, tell me if you had felt any strong pain or suffered further bleeding would you have ignored it and dismissed it?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No of course not, it didn't seem so bad so I didn't want to bother anyone or worry Christian unnecessarily but if I felt something was wrong, of course I would have said something, in fact last night I was going to ask Christian to take me to the hospital to get checked out because this felt different and something felt wrong" I say.

Grace smiles and nods, "I rest my case" she says kindly.

I nod at Grace and sniff loudly.

"Thank you Grace" I say, but I am still not totally convinced.

"You are more than welcome Ana, and just so you know, don't hesitate as you know you can always come to me. Why don't you call your dad? I know you are close to him".

I nod, I realise I do want my daddy, and I say as much and Grace delves into her bag and hands me her phone and I take it gratefully and dial his number from memory.

"Hello?" he says warily.

"Daddy it's me Ana," I say my voice trembling.

"Annie, what's wrong?" my dad says immediately.

"How are you daddy?" I ask ignoring his question.

"I'm fine, now tell me what's wrong, I didn't recognise the number?" he persists.

All the words come out in a jumbled mess and I feel tears starting to well up again as I open my mouth to speak.

"I'm fine and I'm calling from Grace's phone, but... but... I've lost our baby, I had a miscarriage, I am in hospital in New York, we are here for the trial, but it's been put back because of this, but I lost our baby. Grace has flown out to be with us, and Christian is devastated".

"Annie, oh Annie I'm so sorry, and Grace is there with you now, is Christian with you?" he asks.

"He is, but not at the moment, Dr Flynn, his shrink flew out with Grace because he didn't handle it very well, he was scared thinking that he was going to lose me as well and from what I have been told he got into a bit of a state and they had to sedate him. He was in a bad way by all accounts, Gideon and Eva looked after him though. I have no idea what happened as I was unconscious, Grace said it was one of those things, and nobody is to blame" I ramble, I cringe as I listen to myself over sharing and the fact I have repeated Grace's words like a mantra trying to convince myself of their truth.

"Oh Annie," My dad says.

I talk to my dad for a while longer, and then eventually I end the call, handing the phone back to Grace.

"Thank you, I needed that," I whisper.

Grace smiles at me. The door opens and Christian and Flynn walk in, Christian looks terrible, but he walks straight towards me and wraps his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry baby, you need me to be strong and I have failed you, selfishly only thinking about how I feel" I see Flynn roll his eyes and shake his head, and I smile at him over Christian's shoulder.

"Christian, you are here, with me and that means more to me than you could ever realise" I say quietly into his ear.

**oooOOOooo**

I spend a couple of days in hospital mainly because I have developed a slight infection. When I am eventually released we head to our New York apartment, which surprises me as I assumed Christian would whisk us straight back to Seattle now that we no longer have to be here for the trial, as it has been put back for two months we are totally free now.

A few days later, we get a small urn with our baby's ashes in and I carefully place it on the shelf in the in the apartment. I have decided that we are going to take them back to Seattle with us and keep them until we find somewhere suitable and meaningful to us both to scatter them.

We are both reliant on each other for emotional support at the moment, I know Christian still blames himself for his reaction when I lost the baby, and he is desperately trying to make it up to me, trying to prove to me and himself that he is there for me. I am numb more than anything, empty, my baby is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. I hold on to the fact that I got to see him and say goodbye but that doesn't stop the self recrimination, I had one job to do and that was keep my baby safe inside until he was meant to be born and I couldn't even manage to do that, I totally failed as a mother. Then the rational part of me is saying it was nobody's fault it was one of those things but it amazing how that voice of reason gets drowned out by the negativity.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later…_

About a fortnight later, I am wondering why we are still in New York, I can only assume it is so Christian can help Gideon with the Nathan issue. Christian has seemed to be on the phone so much this past two weeks. He and Gideon are always meeting up or talking on the phone, talking with Taylor and generally whispering about something, I can only assume it is some kind of plan to keep Nathan Barker away from Eva. I wish they would let me in on these meetings as I am sure I could help somehow, but he is determined to not bother me with whatever it is they are planning and discussing. Part of me feels a little pissed about it, but a bigger part is kind of glad as the way I am feeling at the moment I don't think I really would be much good. When Christian is with me though, I know I am his only concern, and all his attention is focussed solely on me, even when he is on the phone, if I go to find him, he always immediately hangs up and gives me his complete attention instead.

One Saturday morning after breakfast I am wondering what we are going to do today when Gideon and Eva unexpectedly join us and I assume Christian and Gideon have something planned and that we are going out for a the day.

Christian comes to me looking very pleased with himself and tells me that he has something very special planned for us to do, although he didn't exactly say what, but then I see Taylor loading suitcases into the boot of the rented SUV and Christian and Gideon are whispering and Eva is with them so she is in on whatever has been planned, she stands listening until she sees me and nudges Christian nodding towards me, he looks and then strides to me and smiles.

"Ready baby?" he asks.

I nod, "Where are we going?" I ask.

"It's a surprise" he replies with a grin and he grabs my hand and leads me to the car.

I look out of the window trying to figure out where we are going and am stunned when we end up at the airport, I get even more confused when I see one of Gideon's planes waiting, I watch as we pull up beside the plane, trying to figure out what is going on. I know for a fact we can't be heading home to Seattle as we would be going on Christian's plane not one of Gideon's so I instantly dismiss that thought and so my mind starts working overtime wondering what he has planned for us that necessitates a plane.

Christian turns to me and kisses my cheek, squeezing my hand he looks straight at me and whispers "I have a surprise for you, Gideon helped me organise it, I don't know if it is totally appropriate but I need this and I think it will be good for both of us" he says cryptically and then eagerly pulls me from the car and towards the steps to the plane.

I can tell he is really excited about something and I just decide to go with the flow as it makes me happy to see Christian so excited and buoyant about something as these past few weeks have been hellish. As we climb the steps of the plane the smile he gives me is breath taking.

When we enter the plane I gasp in shock, and get even more confused as seated in it are Grace and Carrick, Elliot and Kate, Mia and also Ethan and sitting to one side wrapped in a blanket with a wheelchair folded beside him is my dad. I walk towards him and fling my arms around him.

"Hey Annie," he says as he takes me in his arms, he looks at me carefully as though he is assessing me. We have talked regularly since I lost the baby and I have tried to reassure him that I am fine, but now he is seeing me with his own eyes and he is looking at me in that way he has, that can decipher if I really am ok.

"Dad what's going on? How are you? Are you well enough to be here?" I ask the questions tumbling out of my mouth.

Ray chuckles and says nothing, Grace stands, and squeezes my arm, "he is absolutely fine, he is as strong as an ox, and I am in constant observation of his care while he is away from the rehab at the hospital, so you have nothing to worry about". I nod and relax a little, I trust Grace and know she wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to my father, but it makes me wonder even more what Christian has planned to go to these lengths.

Eva and Gideon join us and Eva hugs me tightly, "Good surprise eh?" she says.

"Excellent surprise and you knew about this and didn't say anything?" I say grinning at her.

Eva laughs and nods "Yep, I knew, Gideon knew, we helped plan it and of course we didn't say anything it wouldn't be a surprise if we did and that has nothing to do with the fact Christian also threatened us both with a gruesome death if we told you anything" she grins as she says this and winks at Christian and he laughs loudly and I smile as I hear it as we haven't had much to laugh about recently.

I can see everyone has gone to a lot of effort to make whatever is happening today special so I am determined not to spoil it by being miserable so I laugh with her and hug her back. I see Kate scowl and give Eva a filthy look, I suddenly feel ultra protective towards my new friend and also a little bit hurt that Kate could be so childish and petty. I see Elliot has noticed Kate's reaction too and he whispers something in her ear.

"Sit down baby," Christian says, he is practically bouncing with anticipation and excitement now and I take a seat beside my father and Christian sits down on my other side.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask Ray.

He glances at Christian and then simply nods, but doesn't say anything.

Christian leans towards me "It's no good baby, everyone has been sworn to secrecy" he whispers and he kisses my neck softly, "and as Eva so eloquently put it… the threat of a gruesome death if they tell you" he adds grinning once more at Eva.

The flight is relatively short and when we land, everyone grinning at me inanely and really wonder what on earth has Christian done.

Christian turns to me, and looks at me meaningfully, "Trust me baby?" he asks me and I nod.

"With my life," I say sincerely and I watch as he takes a sharp breath in at those words, we quickly recovers and then he pulls out a tie from his pocket and raises his eyebrows at me as I gasp in recognition, it's my favourite silver embossed one and I blush furiously.

Christian grins wickedly and then places it over my eyes so I can't see a thing. "It's not what you are thinking baby" he murmurs in my ear so only I can hear and then runs his fingers down my cheek I feel his lips on mine.

"Good job too Mr Grey" I whisper back and I hear a low chuckle.

"Ok then how many fingers am I holding up?" he says in a louder voice.

"I have no idea, because I can't see anything" I reply.

Christian kisses me again "good" he says.

I feel him grasp my hand and pull me to my feet and then I feel him lift me into his arms, and start walking. I am clinging to him as I feel him walking down the steps of the plane, the air feels very warm and I wonder where we can be.

I hear conversations about who is going in which car and I suddenly think of my father, "Christian make sure Ray is ok" I whisper in his ear as he sets me on my feet.

I feel his smile, "it's fine baby, don't worry. Ray is already on his way with my mom and dad, it's Kate who is causing issues as she wants to come with us and she won't share a car with Gideon and Eva, which was the original plan. I hear the irritated note in his voice, and I hope Kate doesn't spoil whatever it is Christian has planned.

My hearing, smell and touch seem to be hyper aware since Christian put the blindfold over my eyes and I can hear Gideon and Elliot talking quietly, so I naturally strain to listen.

"If you don't say something to her I will, this is about Christian and Ana, not Kate and as Christian's brother I'm pretty convinced you don't want _her_ to spoil everything that has been planned," I shiver at the way Gideon spits the word her.

Christian feels my shudder and immediately worries I am cold or something. I assure him I am fine and kiss him I have no idea where I have kissed but I hear him chuckle again so he obviously liked it. I return my attention back to Elliot and Gideon, Elliot has said something to Gideon which I missed and now he appears to have moved as his voice is coming from another direction and he is talking to Kate and he is not mincing his words.

"Kate will you behave, what on earth is wrong with you? After what Ana and Christian have gone through they deserve this to go well without you kicking off through some petty jealousy. Ana can be friends with other people besides you, you know, and Eva seems to be a very nice person. Gideon helped plan this so it is inevitable Eva has been more involved with the preparations than you have, so grow up and stop being so damn childish about it. It was all arranged in Seattle, Ray was to go with Mom and Dad, and you and I and Ethan and Mia were going to ride with Gideon and Eva in the limo, while Christian and Ana are travelling alone in the SUV.

I hear Kate mutter something but miss the details, the next thing I hear is Eva saying loudly, "Come on Kate, I've heard so much about you from Ana, we need to compare notes on our friend, come and ride with us".

There is more muttering and eventually I feel Christian lifting me again and climbing into a car and setting me beside him and pulling a seatbelt around me. He grasps my hand tightly and kisses my knuckles and then I hear him quietly take a deep breath and sigh, his hands are shaking and I realise he's scared, he's nervous about whatever it is he has planned. So I turn towards him and reach out my free hand searching for him, he grasps it tightly, and kisses it, I stroke his face.

"Christian, if I forget later... thank you and I had a really great time today," I say quietly.

There is a silence but I feel him squeeze my hands.

When the car eventually stops I feel Christian moving away from me, "Wait here a moment baby" he says and kisses my cheek. I hear the car door open I feel Christian exit and I hear the driver getting out as well and then the door closes, a moment later I hear it open again and someone getting in, I know instinctively it's not Christian.

"Who is this? Where's Christian?" I ask, panicking slightly.

"It's ok Ana relax, it's me Luke," he says quietly.

I immediately calm "Luke? What are you doing here? I didn't know you were here, I didn't see you on the plane?" I ask.

"No ma'am, Mr Grey flew me out here beforehand to help organise security and oversee the final arrangements, T is here as well as you know, he drove you both here, and Ryan is also here, he flew out with me, and Mr Cross has Angus here as well."

"Ryan?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am he has been part of Mr Grey's security team for a while and he got upgraded to CPO status for this trip, I'm sure Mr Grey will introduce you to him at some point".

I nod, "Luke?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am" he replies.

"First of all have you forgotten that I hate being called ma'am?" I say and I hear him chuckle.

"No… Miss Steele" he says, "and I apologise for that oversight" he adds.

"Ok, and secondly, do you know what Christian and Gideon have planned?" I ask, I figure that it's a long shot, but I also think, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"Yes Miss Steele, I do" he replies and I can hear the amusement in his voice.

"But you can't tell me" I say resigning myself to the inevitable.

"No I can't" he says with even more amusement.

I sigh, "but I will say, it's really nice" he says "but I can't tell you any more than that or T will have my balls," he adds in a matter of fact voice.

I giggle at that, but before I can say anything else I hear the door open again, and feel Luke exit the car.

"Ok baby I'm back," I hear Christians voice again. "I am going to get you out the car now and I am going to let you walk ok, but you need to hold on to me so you don't fall," he says.

I nod, "ok" I say.

I hear Christian close the car door and the door my side opens and I feel Christian lean over me and undo my seatbelt and then grasp my hand.

"Ok baby, mind your head" he says and he places his other hand on my head as I climb out of the car.

After the air conditioned car the heat hits me. Christian takes my arm and places it through his, and slowly we walk. We turn left and I hear birds singing and water, suddenly he stops and finally takes off my blindfold, I blink furiously at the brightness and as my eyes become accustomed to it I gasp as I look around me.

I see a beautiful garden with thousands of flowers in beds and I also take in thousands of cut flowers in arrangements around a fountain, it looks breathtaking. Then there are birds in cages hanging from the trees dotted around and there is an ornamental archway type structure with ribbons and flowers attached to it, underneath it is a bench similarly decorated with flowers and ribbons.

Christian leads me over to it and sits me down on it, I notice for the first time I'm not wearing my engagement ring. Christian must have slipped it off my finger after he blind folded me, I vaguely remember him playing with it in the car.

He kneels in front of me. "Ana, I told you the way I proposed wasn't what I had planned so I thought I'd go for a do over, Ana will you marry me... now, today, here!?" he waits.

I grin then I register his exact words, "Wait… Now? Today? Here?" I repeat in astonishment.

He nods, but his smile slips at my tone. "When we walk into that courtroom I want you to walk in as Mrs Grey. I don't want to wait another moment, I want you to be my wife and I want it now, not only because I love you more than anything, but it will send a powerful message to everyone that you are mine and as such they won't be able to hurt you again… plus after what we have been through in the past few weeks and then losing our baby, I just... I just need this; I need us to be as one. Please baby, what do you say?" He gazes up at me, his eyes almost pleading with me to say yes.

He waits and looks at me carefully, how can I deny him this? I understand why he has done it and I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. "Yes Christian, I will marry you, today" I say.

He pushes my engagement ring back on and pulls me to my feet, holding me to him and he kisses me soundly and deeply. When we break apart we are both gasping, and then he grabs my hand and marches purposefully towards a small building on the far side of the garden. I look around and from what I see I realise that we are in some kind of holiday resort, as I see signs for restaurants, a golf course and other attractions and facilities. As we enter the building, we are in what appears to be a bedroom suite and inside are Kate, Eva and Grace, and a huge clothes bag. I stare at it in confusion.

"It's your wedding dress darling," Grace says.

My mouth drops open, "but?" I say.

Eva laughs, "Christian got someone to send over a selection of dresses and Grace, Kate and I narrowed them down to what we thought you'd like and then we all picked out our favourites and you get to have the final say on which one you want to wear".

I nod totally overwhelmed by all this as Grace unzips the bag, inside are six dresses, as I look at them I know immediately which ones Kate picked as I know her taste so well. I look through them all and suddenly I see 'the one', it is so simple and yet so beautiful. It is slightly off the shoulder and it is cut nicely and when I try it on it fits me like a glove.

"This one" I whisper and I see Grace smile.

"We knew it!" Eva squeals, as soon as we all saw that one we knew that was what you'd go for, Kate said we may as well get rid of all the others, but you know we wanted to give you the illusion of having a say!" she grins and I burst out laughing.

Grace and Kate re-pack all the other dresses, "Christian has decided you are having three bridesmaids," Eva says next.

I nod, "you, Kate and Mia?" I ask.

Eva smiles and nods back at me, "Gideon and Taylor are groomsmen and Elliot is Christian's best man" she adds.

"Where is Mia?" I ask, looking around as she doesn't appear to be here.

"She'll be here soon" Grace replies.

As I struggle to take everything in and it dawns me the extent of what has been planned and arranged a sudden thought hits me.

"Who is helping my dad?" I ask, as I remember the wheelchair on the plane.

Grace smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry he will be taken care of, Carrick, Elliot and Christian are all on hand for him, as are Luke and Jason, should he need them but as we've all discovered he is a very independent man".

I smile, and a small snort of laughter escapes me, "is that your polite way of saying stubborn as hell!" I say.

Grace shakes her head and gives a small laugh, "I wouldn't dream of it" she replies.

After I have freshened up, there is a knock at the door and a young woman enters to do our makeup and hair, and as I am getting ready and being pampered, I suddenly think of my mother and then I immediately feel ashamed that I haven't given her a thought until this moment.

"What's wrong Steele?" Kate asks as she looks at me closely and I realise that my thoughts must have shown in my expression.

"My mom, where is she and why isn't she here?" I whisper. I see Kate glance at Grace and Grace looks at Eva and they all look uncomfortable and unsure of what to say.

My heart sinks, and I know that once again she has let me down. "What did she do now?" I ask wearily.

Kate takes my hand and hesitates a moment but then seems to come to some decision and starts to speak.

"I'm so sorry Ana, she's not here and she's not coming".

I gasp at that, my mother has let me down all my life, and been a no show to all the milestone moments, but not to be here on the most important day of my life is low even for her, and what excuse could she possibly have given to justify not showing up to her own daughters wedding?

I listen carefully as Kate explains apologetically, "Christian called her to invite her and told her of his plans, he offered to send his plane for her and Bob to join us but she refused, she said she couldn't just drop everything because Mr Moneybags clicks his fingers and demands it and she hung up on him. So then Gideon called her and explained the situation, he told her about the baby and how it had affected you and Christian and he tried to reason with her, and he even offered his plane, that made her even more angry and she said she had said no to the great Christian Grey so he got his rich buddy to try and force her to come. After that was when Ray called her, Gideon and Christian told him what she had said to them and he ended up laying into her. I tell you Ana I've never seen him so angry. Even Grace and I tried, we both called her and asked her if she really wanted to miss her own daughters wedding," Kate stops speaking and looks down.

"What did she say?" I ask, but I have a rough idea of what she said after hearing all that. Kate looks uncomfortable. She glances at Grace who comes and holds my hand and wraps her arm around me.

Kate takes a deep breath, "She said that you never needed her, so why should she especially when she has even had to find out from someone else that you lost the baby, that you couldn't be bothered to tell her yourself. She said someone she didn't even know told her, someone who she didn't realise that you knew, let alone were friends with had told her that news" Kate stops and looks at Grace and I can tell she doesn't want to carry on.

"Go on" I urge quietly.

Kate shakes her head, "No, it was too awful" she says.

I nod firmly, "I need to know what she said" I say and Kate looks at me and I can see she really doesn't want to do this.

"She said… no, I can't do it" she says, "Please don't make me tell you" she adds.

I swallow hard, whatever she said must have been really offensive for it to have upset Kate as she doesn't normally let anything upset her.

I reach for her hand, "Please Kate… just tell me" I say.

I watch Kate as she looks really uncomfortable, "She said… she… she said that she was relieved that you had lost the baby, and that was a blessing in disguise and you would see that eventually." Kate blurts out in a rush and I gasp it was bad, but Kate hasn't finished.

"She said you were too young to be tied down with a child. She said you always preferred Ray and she could have gone to hell for all you cared, so what you were marrying Christian, you were his problem now and she didn't want to interfere with your new life and your fancy new family, oh and she didn't appreciate Grace calling her and rubbing her nose in it that she had stolen her daughter away from her".

I shake my head but I refuse to cry, I am actually shocked, I expected something along those lines but not quite that viciousness, and to say that she was glad I had lost my baby was unforgivable.

Grace folds me into her arms, and comforts me. I shake my head and gently push Grace away. "I'm fine" I say in a strong voice.

"If that's how she feels then fair enough, she has never been there for me so I will do as she wants, I have a fiancé who would die for me, a mother in law who has been more of a mother in the short time I have known her than my own has been my entire life, I have my daddy, and I have my circle of good friends and new extended family. I couldn't wish for better people to be surrounded by, I'm sorry she feels like that but the really sad thing is it doesn't totally surprise me".

I look around and see everyone staring at me, "I'm fine honestly" I say "Now lets get ready, I'm getting married!" I add.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

As we are just about finished getting ready when the door opens and Mia walks in, at least I think it's Mia, as all I see is a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Hi everyone" she says and gently puts the flowers down.

There is a huge bouquet for me in a teardrop shape and three smaller round ones for my bridesmaids. Then Mia comes up to me and winks at me as she hands me a small bag.

I look inside and blush as I see a small lace garter, it is a beautiful shade of pale blue and beautifully made.

"Thank you Mia" I say with a smile and she just grins at me, but then a frown fills her face as she turns towards Grace. She clearly has something on her mind.

"Mom, I've just dropped off the button holes to Christian and he was so rude, he just snatched them from me and told me to get a move on and get ready. No thank you or anything, honestly mom, you need to have a word with him," as Mia says this I know Christian is obviously stressing about something, so I pull Grace to one side.

"Grace please can you go and find out what is wrong with Christian? I can't go, as he can't see me before the ceremony".

Grace nods and slips from the room. Mia quickly gets ready and the whirlwind around her is soon complete. As I watch I go over what Kate told me about what my mom had said to me, I can always rely on Kate to tell me like it is. She didn't want to tell me but I knew she wouldn't bullshit me either, she would tell me the truth. I saw Eva and Grace's reaction, and I know they probably wouldn't have told me like Kate did, they would have tried to sugar coat it and made it sound better than it actually was, but I know Kate and I know she treats the unpleasant things in life like a band aid to pull off, just do it and get it over with, tact isn't a strong point of hers I can always rely on her to be honest with me, and this was brutally honest and I can see why she didn't want to tell me and shied away from that responsibility but somehow even though it was honest and it was horrific and offensive what my mother said, the sad fact is it was unsurprising. My attention is drawn to the door as Grace returns and smiles at me. She walks over to me and touches my arm.

"He's fine, he's just anxious and so as a result of that he is just in full – 'I am in control and you will do as I say' mode, but basically he is anxious because he wants today to be perfect - for you".

I smile at Grace's words. I see Grace turn to Mia and tell her that Christian apologised for his rudeness earlier.

A moment later and Grace returns to me, "Ana dear, I was wondering if you would like to wear this when you marry my son. I wore it when I married Cary and it is sort of a Trevelyan heirloom so I would be honoured if you would wear it when you marry my son today?"

I take the box and open it and gasp and the beautiful necklace inside and I nod, "thank you Grace I would be honoured I say.

Before anyone can say any more there is a knock at the door, and Carrick's voice comes through the closed door "Is everyone decent?" he calls.

Grace quickly glances around, "Yes, come in Cary" she calls and the door opens and Carrick comes in pushing Ray in his wheelchair, and he is holding a pair of crutches in his hand.

"Dad what do you think you are doing with those?" I ask staring at them suspiciously.

Ray glares at me stubbornly, "Annie, if you think I am sitting in this damn thing to give you away on your wedding day, you have another think coming. It's bad enough I can't walk you down the aisle but I'll be damned if I sit down to give you away".

I can tell my dad isn't happy about missing the chance to walk me down the aisle, I think for a moment and then inspiration hits me. I head to my purse and pull my phone out and make my call, everyone is staring at me, wondering what I am doing.

"Christian," I say when he answers.

"Ana what's wrong, are you ok?" he asks immediately panic stricken by my unexpected call.

"Calm down Christian" I say gently, and when I am certain he is now calm again, I continue. "Yes I'm fine. Listen, when you walked me to the building from that garden, I saw signs for a golf course. Do they have any golf carts?"

There is a lengthy silence before he answers and I can tell whatever he was expecting my call to be about that wasn't it.

"Erm… I'm not sure, I would assume so, hang on. Gideon does the golf course have golf carts?" he asks, I hear Gideon's reply as I hear him say that 'yes they do'.

"Yes they do" Christian confirms.

"They do! That's great, now do you think they would let us borrow one? My dad can't walk me down the aisle but there is nothing to say he can't drive me, you said the ceremony was in that garden place, so do you think it would be possible? " I ask as I visualise what I am thinking.

There is another momentary silence and then I hear Christians voice again. "Baby, if you want a golf cart then you will have a golf cart," he says adamantly and I hear him relaying my request to Gideon and then I hear Gideon's muffled voice in the background and I assume that he is obviously on the phone telling someone to fetch a cart.

"Thank you, I love you" I say.

"Baby, you know I would do anything for you, although I have to say your request for a golf cart wasn't actually on my radar, but it's an excellent idea... I love you" he says, "Is that everything, or do you need anything else?" he adds.

I think for a moment but realise that I have no further requests, "No that's everything, I'll see you very soon" I say.

I end the call and turn and smile at everyone. "I have to say marrying a billionaire does have its advantages at times," I glance around at everyone and ask a question that has been bugging me since we arrived.

"Just out of interest, where exactly are we?" I ask.

Everyone laughs and Eva steps forward, "We are at the Crosswinds resort in the Caribbean. Gideon owns it and he and Christian have been on the phone organising everything while you were in the hospital and for the last couple of weeks.

My mouth drops open as I never expected that, and all the calls now make complete sense, they weren't discussing Nathan at all, they were planning the wedding. There is a knock at the door and Luke is standing there.

"Time to head out" he says, I smile at him dressed in a smart suit and tie, he always wears a suit and tie, but this is much nicer than his standard work outfit.

Grace hugs me tightly and whispers good luck in my ear, and then she leaves with Carrick. Kate, Mia and Eva crowd round me and Eva asks if I have everything.

"I think so" I reply.

"Have you got your something old, new, borrowed and blue?" Kate asks.

I quickly think, "Erm, new is my dress, borrowed - Grace lent me this necklace" I say touching the beautiful pearl necklace around my neck. "Something blue I have my garter" I smile at Mia who had given me the blue garter, I pause as I realise I don't have something old. "Something old... I don't have anything old" I say.

"Annie, I can help you with that" I turn and my dad is reaching into his inside pocket. He pulls out a small tissue and opens it carefully.

"Annie, this belonged to my grandmother so it's _really_ old and she wore on her wedding day. My mother wore it on her wedding day, and she gave it to me to give to you for when you married, and then hopefully one day you will have a daughter to pass it on to.

I feel a huge lump come into my throat and I gasp when I see the most beautiful bracelet, I hold out my arm and Ray fastens it to my wrist.

"Thank you daddy, it's beautiful. I love you," I say and hug him tightly.

When we part I pull myself together, "Ok then lets do this thing" I say.

We head out into the garden, Luke is pushing my dad's wheelchair and he helps him into the golf cart. I smile when I see it has hurriedly been festooned with flowers.

I take the seat beside Ray, and I watch as my three bridesmaids walk down the makeshift aisle towards the fountain where Christian proposed earlier. The bench has been moved and now it is where he is waiting with an official, along with Gideon and Elliot under the decorated archway.

It is small intimate and perfect. I see Christian fidgeting and I am surprised as Christian _never_ fidgets, so he must be so nervous. We wait and then music starts to play and Ray slowly drives the golf cart down the aisle. Carrick and Taylor rush to his side to help him out and Luke appears with the wheelchair and crutches, he shakes his head at Luke and reaches to take the crutches. I roll my eyes but Luke just smiles at him and hands him the crutches, Taylor quickly moves the golf cart away and then returns taking his seat.

Christian is staring at me his eyes glowing with love, and he leans forward and whispers in my ear, "you look beautiful baby" he says simply.

My eyes wander over his magnificent body which is cloaked in a custom made Tux and he really does look breathtaking and I smile. "You don't look so bad yourself, you scrub up pretty well Grey" I retort and Christian smiles widely at me, a smile so bright it takes my breath away.

As the ceremony starts, Ray is leaning heavily on his crutches and I am concerned, but when he gives me away, he clearly states "I do" when the official asks who gives me to be married.

He puts my hand on Christian's and gripping Christian's hand he leans forward and whispers to him.

"Remember what I said," he says so only Christian and I can hear and Christian nods solemnly.

Taylor and Luke quickly stand and they help Ray into a seat, and things proceed until we get to the vows. I suddenly realise that I don't want to say generic vows I want mine to be from the heart and mean something so I stop the official.

"Please wait, I don't have anything prepared as today was a complete surprise to me, but I want my vows to be from my heart, not generic out dated words" I stop and see Christian stare at me then smile. I glance at the official and he gestures towards me.

I grasp Christians hand and look him straight in the eye, I open my mouth speak from my heart "Christian, I love you and I promise to love you unconditionally, I promise to respect you and I will give you solace and support you in your times of need. I promise to always be there for you, to always to be honest and truthful with you and I promise that I will always be faithful to you; you are my safe place and I promise to always be yours. You are my world, my everything. The sun rises and sets with you and I endeavour to be that for you too, now today and always, forever".

I stop and wait staring at him, he is looking at me but I can't make out what he is thinking, but something is off. Something tells me he is upset about something, he smiles but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

What's wrong? I quickly run through my vows wondering what on earth I could possibly have said which upset him. I wait and after what seems like an eternity he starts to speak.

"Ana, I wasn't expecting this I was expecting traditional vows so, this is totally unprepared, but here goes… I love you Anastasia, you are my everything, my life. I cannot breathe without you so I promise to love you and only you. I will cherish you and keep you safe at my side, I promise to do my best to help you realise your dreams and ambitions in life and do my best to balance your independence with my need for control, all that is mine is now yours and I give you everything I am and have forever". He stops speaking and I smile.

I replay what he has said in my head and the biting tone of his voice when he said he would do his best to balance my independence with his need for control and that is when it hits me, what he is upset about. It wasn't what I said to him, it was what I didn't say. He was expecting traditional vows and by traditional he wanted… oh my god. I didn't promise to obey him, he was going to use generic vows and obviously the traditional ones which included the word obey. Then I realise what else I had said '_not generic out dated words'_ and he has obviously taken that as a slight.

The rest of the ceremony goes well and as the official says the words, "you may kiss the bride" Christian grabs me pulling me against him, he places one hand on my behind and presses me against him and kisses me forcefully, almost painfully so. I can hardly breathe and I can feel his growing arousal. I try and pull away but he holds on and doesn't let me go. I know what is happening, he is upset and he is making a point here, the point that he is in control.

There is a gasp from everyone at his behaviour and Elliot lets out a small laugh as he speaks to Christian, "Hey Christian, save it for the wedding night bro".

He pulls away and smiles again but once again it doesn't reach his eyes and I sigh, this has really got to him so we need to talk about it before he blows it out of all proportion and we end up having a fight about it.

We walk down the aisle past our family and we head inside, and as we do so I pull him into an empty room.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask, although I know exactly what his problem is.

"Your vows, Ana, why won't you obey me?"he asks immediately.

I sigh, and there we have it. I knew it and god at this minute I _hate_ being right.

"You made a point of not promising to obey, with your comment that you didn't want to say generic out dated vows" he continues and when he stops, I can see the hurt and frustration in his eyes. I smile at him and touch his cheek. I speak to him slowly and deliberately looking him straight in the eye. Sometimes it really is like dealing with a child when it comes to Christian's insecurity.

"Christian, if you don't already know the answer to that question then we should never have just got married, what I want you to do is focus on what I did say rather than what I didn't," I say to him.

I wait while he stops and thinks and as he realises I see the familiar fear and panic, evolve into self hatred and slowly consume him. I wish there was some way I could prevent him from doing this but all I can do is be there to pick up the pieces and reassure him that he is loved and worthy of it, my thoughts are disturbed as he pulls me into his arms and squeezes me.

"Oh God, baby I'm so sorry I love you, forgive me, please forgive me" he says.

I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly, "Always" I say.

I feel him relax and I know that he has let it go when he looks at me again and this time his smile lights up his entire face.

"Shall we go and rejoin our family and friends Mrs Grey?" he says.

"Lets" I say he takes me by the hand and leads me out.

"There you are!" Grace exclaims when she sees us.

"Jeez bro couldn't you wait!" Elliot says salaciously.

"Elliot, stop it!" Grace says to him, but Elliot just grins. I can't help but retort to Elliot's remark.

"What makes you think it was Christian who instigated those moments alone?!" I say with raised eyebrows.

Elliot's mouth drops open and he stands there opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish. Christian throws his head back and roars with laughter as he wraps his arm around me.

"You just got owned bro" he says wiping his eyes, he leans down and kisses me on the lips, a small chaste kiss; I touch his cheek as I respond to him and deepen the kiss which quickly becomes very passionate.

"Come on guys keep it clean," I hear Gideon say from behind us, we turn and he embraces me and kisses my cheek and slaps Christian on the back.

Christian shakes Gideon's hand and embraces him, "Thanks for all your help organising this" he says to him.

"No problem" Gideon replies.

I wrap my arms around Gideon's waist and hug him tightly, "Yes thank you Gideon" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he says smiling down at me. I feel Christian gently pull me out of Gideon's arms, and place me firmly at his side.

We all sit down to eat and the meal is lovely, we cut the cake and photographs are taken and as the day wears on and turns into evening we know we have all drunk a little too much. It is nearly 10pm I have danced with Carrick, Elliot, Gideon and of course Christian, it has been a good day and I really have enjoyed it and I'm glad that Christian did it this way as had I been aware of it I would've made excuses and tried to get him to postpone, but he was right we both needed this. I walk over to my dad; I had noticed he was watching me dancing with Christian.

"Hi daddy have you had a good time?" I ask, as it couldn't have been much fun for him to be unable to get around.

He smiles and nods, "I have, it's been lovely and I just want to say to you, that I think you will make one hell of a wife Annie. I am so proud of you, now will you make your old man really happy and dance with me?"

I gape at him, "Dad I'd love to but you can't" I say.

I see him look across and nod at Taylor and Luke who immediately walk over and help him out of his chair, Taylor then walks over to the band and says something to them. They stare at him as if he is mad and he raises his eyebrows at them, they nod and all raise their instruments then start to play Twinkle, Twinkle little star. I gasp and I feel the tears start to flow, Ray used to sing this to me when I was child, this was our special song and he remembers that.

"Hey Annie don't cry, lets just enjoy this, I can't dance as such, but we'll just stand here and sway here a little, ok?"

I nod and rest my head against his shoulder, as he wraps his arms around me and very quietly I hear him singing Twinkle Twinkle little star in my ear. The whole room has gone quiet and I know everyone is watching us. When the band stops playing, Taylor and Luke walk over and help my dad back into his chair. Everyone is clapping and Christian walks over and wraps his arm around me.

"That was beautiful baby" he whispers to me and kisses me, he leans down and shakes Ray's hand, "thank you for giving me your daughter Ray" he says.

I watch as Ray just nods, but doesn't say a word.

Christian excuses himself and a few moments later I realise he has vanished completely from the room, and while he is gone I find a few moments to talk with Luke and Jason who are sitting watching the room. They are supposed to be off duty tonight and guests but I can see they are not totally relaxing.

"Do you know where Christian went?" I ask. I watch as they exchange glances and Taylor nods at me.

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says with a slight smile.

"But you are sworn to secrecy" I say in a resigned tone

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says again. It feels strange to be addressed as Mrs Grey as I automatically think of Grace. I look at the rings on my finger. I _am_ Mrs Grey, Mrs Christian Grey. Hearing Taylor say it sounds almost unreal as though he is talking about someone else, but to hear it gave me a little thrill, I am no longer single I am married and I am someone's wife, and that someone is Christian... my husband Christian Grey, my heart leaps at that thought.

I pull myself from my rather rambling thoughts and return my attention back to Taylor and Luke, "Guys I just wanted to thank you both for the way you looked after my dad today, I am really grateful and I just wanted to say I really appreciate it".

Luke nods and smiles and Taylor politely replies, "It was no trouble Mrs Grey, Mr Steele is a fine man we had a long chat about our time in the military, and turns out we were in the same special ops unit albeit a few years apart" he pauses and shakes his head, "It's astonishing really the coincidences we keep unearthing" he adds.

I snort, "Well at least this one was a nice coincidence, not like all the previous links which have come to light".

Luke and Taylor nod, as I am about to say something else I feel Christian's presence behind me.

"Are you ready?" he asks me as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Ready?" I reply and turn in his arms to face him.

He pulls me towards him, "Yes ready" he says with a grin as he moves us slowly towards the door.

"What are you planning now?" I ask suspiciously.

"Hmm well Mrs Grey, I plan to take you to our room and undress you and then I plan to make love to you all night," he whispers seductively as he grasps me and he pulls me close to him I feel his arousal.

"I see" I reply, "well, that sounds like a really good plan and if you put it like that how could I possibly refuse" I add.

Christian takes my hand and we say good night to everyone. Ray has already gone to bed now and so has Grace and Carrick, but Elliot and Kate look as though they are settled in for the night, and Kate is talking freely with Eva. Ethan is also sitting with them and he smiles and bids us goodnight. I say good night to Ethan and I smile at Kate. I am glad she has got over what ever was eating her about Eva. Gideon walks over and he says goodnight to us before he pulls Christian to one side and whispers something in his ear and Christian nods and thanks him.

We walk down a corridor until we reach a room and Christian turns and picks me up into his arms. I laugh at him as he opens the door and I gasp at what I see, the bed has rose petals all over it, and there is a bottle of champagne beside the bed and flowers everywhere. He carries me to the bathroom and there is freshly run bath with a huge amount of bubbles surrounded by lit candles. This is obviously what he was organising when he had disappeared.

"Do you like it?" he whispers to me; I can hear the anxious tone of his voice.

"Christian it's wonderful, you have totally spoilt me today" I say.

"You are my wife, it's my job to spoil you" he says.

I feel my stomach leap when he says those words. He carries me back into the bedroom and undresses me and then when both of us are totally naked he carries me back to the bathroom and climbs into the bath with me in his arms, he lets me slide down his body and then he sits pulling me down with him as I sit between his legs he pulls me into his lap and starts to kiss me gently and nuzzle my neck, his hand start to roam over my breasts and he kneads them, and pulls on my nipple, I moan and turn around, straddling him, I suddenly freeze.

"What's wrong baby?" Christian asks noting my sudden change in demeanour.

"Birth control, I'm not on anything at the moment," I say.

Christian smiles "It's ok" he says and reaches behind him to the shelf behind the bath, and shows me a box of condoms.

"We will use these tonight, alright?"

I nod and relax as I take the box from him and pull out a foil packet, he watches me as I rip it open and roll it on to him and then hovering over him I slowly lower myself down, he sighs as he enters me and I close my eyes as I feel him inside me.

"Do you feel ok?" he asks anxiously.

I nod and I start to move, he moans and grips my hips, the water is sloshing over the side of the bath but neither of us are paying any attention, this is the first of a night of passion, which lasts well into the early hours of the morning, eventually I can't take any more and I feel myself falling asleep. Christian takes pity on me and kisses me gently.

"Ok Mrs Grey lets go to sleep" he says quietly.

"Hmm" I murmur as I am already practically asleep at that point.

The next thing I know I am waking up and Christian is wrapped around me and the sun is pouring in through the window. I glance at the clock and I am shocked to see it is nearly 10am. Christian never sleeps in this long, I look at his hand and my finger runs along the platinum wedding ring on his finger and I smile, Christian Grey is my husband and this ring tells the world that he belongs to me.

I think of the hypocrisy of that thought as I always protest when Christian refers to me as belonging to him, as I lie there I hear my phone buzzing I reach over and see it's my mom calling. I don't want to speak to her and I debate letting it go to voicemail. I decide to be a coward and do just that and I put my phone down again.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Christian asks and I jump violently.

"Jeez don't do that, I thought you were asleep" I say.

I hear him chuckle and he kisses my shoulder, "Sorry baby, now answer my question, why did you not answer your phone?"

"It was my mom; I don't want a confrontation as soon as I wake up so I thought I'd avoid it and I'd let it go to voicemail and then listen to it later, when I am more awake to deal with it".

"Ok" he says satisfied at my explanation.

I roll over to face him and I stare into his gorgeous grey eyes, I place my hand on his chest over his heart and still marvel that he tolerates me doing this so well now, I still always move slowly and deliberately so he knows exactly what my intentions are before I touch him and its not long before we are lost in each other again.

When we eventually exit our room and face the world we see Gideon and Eva sitting outside at a table with Elliot and Kate, and they all look as though they haven't been up very long and they are all severely hung over. Elliot is hunched over a mug of coffee and is wearing sunglasses and is incredibly pale, Eva and Kate look just as ill and Gideon is sitting with his head in his hands and his eyes closed.

"Oh dear!" I say with a giggle as we walk up and take in the sorry scene. Moments later I see Ethan shuffling out slowly, he is clutching a mug of coffee and he looks like death warmed up and he only manages a weak smile before sitting down next to Kate and putting his head in his hand.

Christian snorts as he takes in hangover central and says good morning in a deliberately and obnoxiously loud voice. The chorus of groans from around the table prove it wasn't a welcome greeting.

Gideon looks up lifting his head slowly and squints at us, "Stop grinning at me like that Grey, this isn't funny, I _never_ get in this state, your brother is a bad influence".

Christian rolls his eyes. "Which is why I never go out drinking with Elliot, so I have no sympathy whatsoever," he says in an annoyingly louder than necessary voice.

"Stop it Christian," I say laughing at the reaction his loud comments have produced.

"Ana, just take your husband away please," Kate moans and Eva grunts in agreement.

I stare at everyone in smug amusement, and I decide to have a little fun of my own at their expense.

"Come on Christian I'm hungry, lets go get some food some nice crispy bacon I think," I say, and I can't help but say it louder than was absolutely necessary and the moans from the table at my words and their volume makes me smile and Christian grins at me and then puts his arm around me and leads me away.

As we are eating, I pull my phone out and sigh. I hadn't noticed before but my mom has left a voicemail, I look at Christian and he reaches for me and grips my hand tightly.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Mom, she's left a message" I say and I look at my phone as though it is about to explode. I really don't want this, why can't she be like every other normal mother in the world?

Christian gazes at me anxiously, "I swear I didn't exclude her, I offered to send a plane for her but she refused to come, and everyone tried at some point during the past few weeks to get her to come. I swear I did my best to make sure she would be here for you" he says earnestly and then he stops and waits, almost pleading with his eyes for me to believe him, I nod at him as I recall what Kate told me.

"I know you did, and I know Gideon did, and Ray did and even Kate and Grace did, because Kate told me everything yesterday when I wondered why my mom wasn't here" I say sadly.

I take a deep breath and decide not to put off the moment any longer and I call up my voicemail.

Keeping my eyes on Christian, I put my phone to my ear and listen to the message. As I hear my mother's voice it becomes apparent very quickly she is rambling and sounds as though she has been drinking which has shocked me considering the time of day. I even glance at my watch just to make sure.

"Erm… hello Ana, it's your mom, I am guessing by now if that man has got his way you are now Mrs Christian Grey and I will probably never see you again. Don't let him keep you away from your real blood family Ana, he wants to consume you and take you over, he wants to control you and suffocate you, keep you locked away. You can't see this now, because you love him, but I can see it. It's a damn good job you lost the baby because you don't want to bring a child into that sort of abusive relationship, plus you are far too young to be tied down with the responsibilities of motherhood. I made that mistake with you, so I am glad you are being spared that burden and I hope that one day you will come to your senses and leave him. When you do make sure you take him for every damn cent you can get. I am giving you this advice because I love you honey and I know you will thank me for it in the long run, so goodbye Ana and when you come to your senses you know where to find me".

I hear the phone click and I just sit in stunned silence, Christian frowns but doesn't say a word and just waits for me to say or do something.

I put my phone down on the table and push it towards to him without a word and he presses the button and listens to the message, I see the fury on his face and then fear and finally self hatred. I can't stand to see it and I reach for him and grip his hand.

"Don't listen to her, do you hear me?" I whisper. Christian shakes his head, totally speechless, I can tell her words have got to him and have messed with his head, if I am honest they have messed with mine a little too. The solution comes to me in a rush, I need to talk to someone who knows what my mother is really like and there is only one person who knows her as well as I do.

I look towards my husband and I can see he wants to try and help but has no idea what to say or do so I ask the question.

"Christian is Ray still here? because I think that I need my dad" I ask, I watch as relief fills his face and he nods and immediately pulls out his own phone.

When he speaks it's with the authoritative tone he always uses when he wants to fix something and hearing him taking charge makes me love him all the more in this moment. He is obviously floundering as he doesn't have the relationship skills to deal with this, along with the fact that what he has heard has also messed with his own head and set off all his insecurities yet despite both those things he is also desperate to try and do the right thing, and he wants to do something to fix it for me.

"Ray its Christian, do you have a few moments please, Ana needs you. We are in the small restaurant having a late breakfast... yes... we did... thanks Ray, goodbye".

Christian looks at me and smiles at me, "He's on his way" he says.

"Thank you" I say and Christian just smiles shyly at me.

I don't get to say anything else as moments later Ray appears in his wheelchair being pushed by Taylor.

"What's happened?" he asks, he looks at me and I must be still showing the distress of what I heard my mother say as he glances at Christian before speaking to me once more.

"Annie what's going on? I was in the bar chatting with Jason here and Christian called, what's happened, you look upset?"

Unable to repeat the awful words my mother said I simply point to Christian and as Ray's attention moves to my husband Christian gives him my phone and tells him to listen to the voicemail. Ray takes the phone and puts it to his ear and listens. I see the shock and then disgust as he hears my mother's unhinged rant. He looks totally appalled when he eventually places the phone on to the table and it takes him a few moments to compose himself before he speaks.

"Well, I knew she could stoop low but that is a whole new level of low even for her" he says sadly.

He looks at me carefully and pulls me towards him. "Annie don't let her get to you sweetheart, she is a bitter woman and she is jealous as hell because you have found your soul mate and she is still searching. You are settled and have a life which she could only dream about and instead of being happy that her daughter has done so well for herself, she is being selfish and resentful".

I nod, hearing Ray say that puts things into perspective. I also know that there is no reasoning with her, not when she is like this. So I decide not to bother responding to her verbally as I know she won't listen and I really can't face an argument instead I decide that I am going to sit down and write her a letter. I put this idea to Ray and he nods in agreement.

"I can't fault that idea, I always try and make a point not to deal with Carla, but she needs to be told and put straight. Sadly I don't think she will listen so if you do it the old fashioned way and write her a letter, she will get it and read it and she can either dismiss it, which you have to be aware she may do, or hopefully she will sit and think about it" he says.

"Thank you dad" I say and I hug him tightly. I know this embarrasses him a little but right now I need him to know how much he means to me and just because I am now a married woman, he will always occupy a special place in my life.

**oooOOOooo**

After getting some food I return to our room and sit down with a notepad and pen, I hesitate and then I just sit and write what I am thinking. I pour out my heart and say everything that has ever been on my mind about our relationship. I want to close this once and for all; I am not prepared to have her in my life if she is going to behave like this.

I feel this is the best way to do it as there can be no misunderstanding or misinterpretation of my words and as Ray said, she can sit re-read my point of view and hopefully think about it. I think of the email I sent to Christian when we first met when I went to Georgia, when I told him how I really felt and this reminds me a little of that.

Christian joins me just as I am finishing the final letter, he stares at the numerous screwed up pieces of paper around me. I have a few pages of notes and editing before I got a letter which I felt I was happy with, and I am just reading it before I mail it.

"What are you doing baby?" he asks looking at the paper in my hand

"Writing my letter to my mother, letting her know how I feel and hopefully setting her straight" I say. I hand him the letter and watch his reaction as he reads it.

"This is very good," he says when he has finished reading.

I take it from him and smile, "Thank you" I reply and I read through it one more time before I put it in the envelope.

_Dear Carla_

_How are you? I hope my letter finds you well. I was disappointed and yet sadly not surprised that you didn't take Christian up on his offer and that you declined to join us and share our special day. _

_You are quite correct, I am indeed married now and blissfully so. Christian is my soul mate and the best thing that ever happened to me and I am hurt and saddened that you cannot accept that fact. Christian adores me and if it is within his power to do it, he will do anything for me, and I am secure in the knowledge he will always be there for me. I am also sorry to say that I cannot say the same thing about you, in fact the only thing I am sure about when it comes to you is that you will let me down. I am upset that you feel the way you do about our relationship, but looking back surely you realise our relationship has never been a conventional mother/daughter one. Most of the time, I felt as though I was the adult. I have always felt that you have never behaved like a mother to me. _

_It is true that I am much closer to Ray than to you but that is because Ray brought me up. Ray is my dad, I could always count on Ray to be there as I was growing up. He attended my school functions, he sat up through the night with me when I was ill, or frightened from a nightmare, he was always the one who looked after me if I got hurt and he was the only source of constant stability in my life. In short he actually behaved like a parent towards me and I never doubted that he loved me._

_Our relationship was at its worst when you left Ray and married Stephen, uprooting me and dragging me to Texas with you when I had made it abundantly clear I wanted to stay in Montesano was not helpful. I know you went through a tough time with him and realised pretty quickly after I left that everything I had said about him was right and that you had made a dreadful mistake, but I will never forget the fact you supported him against me, and to this day I wonder if you ever did really believe me but thankfully I managed to get away before he did anything too perverted to me but the fact that you stood by him and not me hurt me greatly._

_I am very angry about the accusations you have levelled against my husband. Christian Grey is a wonderful man who lives to make me happy and I will not hesitate to defend him against your accusations. I am the first to admit he has issues with control but that is mainly due to his fundamental need to protect me. Christian had a complicated childhood before he was adopted by the Grey family which have left lasting emotional scars but I know and trust that he tries hard to balance my independence with his need for control. _

_Christian tried his hardest to reach out to you to make sure you were included and part of our wedding, but you turned him down and consistently rejected his kindness and generosity. I will not have you speak badly of Christian's mother. Grace is a wonderful woman who is kind and gentle she has welcomed me into her home and treated me like a daughter, something which I am afraid has been lacking from you all my life. I am sorry if what I am saying offends you or hurts you but the message you left me this morning, telling me to come to my senses and leave Christian and take him for every cent, just goes to show you really don't know me at all if you could even think about saying such a thing to me and I feel completely insulted that you did. Christian's wealth never has been and never will be a priority to me._

_Finally your callous and inappropriate comments regarding the loss of our baby were unforgivable. Both Christian and I were and still are devastated by the loss of our son and it is something we are dealing with together. To hear you say it was a good thing left me cold and totally disgusted that you could even think, let alone say such a wicked thing. I won't apologise if you feel that I ruined your life because you had me so young, because you made that decision Carla. You made the decision to keep me and I will not be made a scapegoat for your life choices, as I can honestly say you never raised me, Ray did and while he may not have any biological connection to me he has been a father __and__ mother to me all my life._

_Your behaviour has been totally unacceptable to me, I have over the years repeatedly forgiven your lack of maternal consideration and given you chance after chance to be a mother to me, and out of blind love for you, I made excuses for your behaviour and tried to justify the unjustifiable reasons why you always treated me as an afterthought and inconvenience and why you consistently put yourself first but not anymore as now I have 'come to my senses' as you put it. I still love you but I am no longer willing to have you in my life until you accept that what you have said and done to me is completely wrong and you offer a sincere and unreserved apology to my husband, friends and my mother-in-law and begin to treat me, my husband, my friends and my new extended family with the respect that we all deserve._

_Goodbye Carla, please take care of yourself, I truly hope that you find what it is that you have been searching for all your life and find the happiness and contentment that I have._

_Ana_

I write on the envelope and sigh. I look up at Christian and he smiles at me taking the envelope from me.

"Are you sure you want to send this?" he asks holding it up.

I nod, "yes I am" I say firmly, he nods and sends a text, moments later Taylor appears, Christian hands him the envelope.

"Taylor can you make sure this gets mailed today" he says.

Taylor takes the envelope, nods and leaves the room.

"Ok baby everything is sorted, we got everything packed while you were writing your letter and we are ready to go now," Christian says, pulling me towards him.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"On honeymoon of course" he says with a smirk.

I stare at him; I had assumed we would be staying here. I let him lead me out the SUV.

"Wait, what about everyone else?" I ask I realise I've not said goodbye to everyone.

"It's alright they have already headed out to the airport, and we will say our goodbyes there".


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Christian has thought of everything, no wonder he was on the phone constantly with Gideon the past few weeks.

When we arrive at the airport I see Christian's GEH jet and two of Gideon's Cross Industries planes waiting. Everyone is gathered and they are all waiting to say goodbye to us. Grace hugs me tightly and Ray eases himself out of the wheelchair with a little help from Luke and kisses my cheek and shakes Christian's hand.

Christian looks around and smiles at everyone, "I would just like to say, on behalf of my wife and I" he squeezes my hand as he says this, "thank you all for flying out and sharing our special day with us" then he turns to Gideon, "and thank you for all your help in organising this and making it a complete success". I watch as once again Gideon just waves his hand dismissively.

Elliot steps forward, "See you soon bro, I'm so happy to see you so content and happy at last" he says, embracing his brother.

"Thanks Lelliot" Christian replies and I see Elliot's eyes tear up a little at that comment.

Gideon walks over and they have the now ritual back slapping embrace. Mia is next she squeezes me tightly and then turns to Christian, "it was all lovely and I am so happy to see you so happy" she says and then she kisses his cheek. Grace and Carrick say their goodbyes and Ethan and Kate bid us a fond goodbye and Ethan thanks us for inviting him.

With that we all separate and head to the different planes. We go to Christian's plane along with Taylor. Then Grace, Carrick, my father, Mia, Elliot, Kate, Ethan, Luke and Ryan all climb aboard one of Gideon's and Eva, Gideon and Angus take the third.

"So where are we going?" I ask as I settle myself in my seat.

"On honeymoon" Christian replies with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, "Durr, I got that much, where?" I ask.

Christian says nothing but the smirk gets bigger.

I see Stephan appear, "Sir ETA is 22:45 GMT" Christian nods, I quickly look at my watch and I think about what I have just heard. GMT, that's Greenwich Mean Time.

"Christian are you taking me to England?" I ask carefully.

I see the look on his face and I know for sure he is. "How?" he asks and then realises. "You are too smart for your own good Mrs Grey" he says and plants a swift wet kiss on my lips, "yes I am taking you to England, we are going to spend some time in London, York, Stratford upon Avon, and other places which have literary connections to the books you love".

He looks at me closely watching my reaction to this news. I fling my arms around him and kiss him repeatedly.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," I say in an excited rush kissing him between each thank you. He laughs loudly and squeezes me.

"Anything for my wife" he says.

_I look around me, where am I, I am in that warehouse place I see Eva she is beside me, I hear voices, and I see Morton, Elena, Damien and another man, a faceless man I realise that this must be Nathan as Eva has reacted to him. We sit there and we are unable to move, I look at Eva and I see the fear on her face. My attention moves to Morton and the faceless man. The faceless man is climbing on top of Eva she is screaming and unable to push him away, I feel Morton near me and I vomit._

_"She's pregnant" I hear Elena say._

_Then I feel the pain across my stomach, I gasp and I feel blood I am losing my baby, my mother appears from nowhere, Morton and Elena have vanished and I see Carla bend and then she is walking away with something in her hand which is covered in blood, she has my baby, she is taking my baby away._

_"NO, MY BABY DON'T TAKE MY BABY"_

_"This has to be done Ana, you don't want to make the same mistake as I did, this is a blessing this is for the best" she walks away._

_"NO" I scream out._

_Then I see him, Christian is running towards me, he looks at the baby in Carla's hand, "Ana, Ana" he calls..._

"Ana, Ana, baby wake up, please baby wake up," I open my eyes and I realise I have been asleep; Christian is beside himself he is holding me tightly and tears are in his eyes, he strokes my back which is drenched in sweat.

I look up at him, "Christian?" I gasp, I look around me and I see that I am in the bed room on the plane, I remember where I am and why I am here, I remember what is happening. I had felt a little tired and I had come in here for a nap. I look at the bed and it is in a mess I have obviously been thrashing about. Christian tugs me into his lap and rocks me.

"I'm sorry, I had a dream" I say quietly.

"What about?" he asks gently.

I take a deep breath and tell him my dream; he listens to me and continues to rock me.

"You are obviously reacting to everything you have been through recently; you are still grieving for our son, forgive me Ana I failed you in so many ways that horrible day". I wrap my arms around him.

"Christian don't, it doesn't matter, you were hurting and you were scared. You were facing life and death at its rawest, something you have purposely shied away from for years, I was unconscious I was in a way protected from the worst of that at the time, you have been wonderful since then, you have been there for me, you have been my rock supporting me and comforting me, then you organised our wonderful wedding and now we are going on honeymoon, I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have you in my life" I kiss him but I feel as though I don't deserve any of it as I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt for the loss of our son.

There is a silence for a moment, "When we get home to Seattle, would you like me to organise a memorial service or something, just us and family so you can say goodbye to our son?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, that's not necessary, I have you to help me, that's all I need, and we will do something when we find the perfect place to scatter his ashes," I say quietly.

"Ok, but if you change your mind baby just give me the word" he says. I nod and snuggle close to him.

"Lets go for a shower, wash way your nightmare" Christian says. He stands and pulls me towards the small shower room. I follow him and soon I am standing under the water as Christian carefully and reverently washes me. He doesn't make any sexual overtures towards me and I am secretly quite glad, as I am just not in the mood at the moment.

I am still quiet when we reach London and arrive at our hotel. I have heard Gideon's name mentioned a few times and I'm pretty sure that this is probably one that he owns. The manager welcomes us and falls over himself to assure us of his best intentions during our stay.

"Thank you but my wife is tired it's been a long flight and we just want to get to our room" Christian says politely.

We are shown to a beautiful suite and I head straight into the bedroom. I am tired, I feel drained from the bad dream I had on the plane. As I look out of the window over London I smile, my husband has realised one of the dreams I had and we have only been married a day. I suddenly need him to know how much I love him and I go to find him. When I reach the door I hear him talking and I realise he must be on the phone.

"...but I'm worried John, you didn't see her... I know, she has been through so much recently and most of that is my fault... no it is John, it is. She wouldn't have ever been on Elena's radar if I had never met her and she would still have some sort of relationship with her mother, and she definitely wouldn't be grieving the loss of a child... I know, I know... so that's your professional advice, just be there for her and listen to her, comfort her and let her talk it out... ok... yes I can see your point... yes... thanks John, Goodnight". I hear him sigh and I wait a few seconds and then head out. His head whips up when he hears me and he smiles lovingly at me.

"Everything ok baby?" he asks uncertainly.

I walk over to him and climb into his lap and wrap my arms around him. "Have I told you recently how much I love you?" I whisper in his ear.

I feel him tighten his grip on me, "You may have mentioned it once or twice" he says with a grin.

"Christian, I'm sorry if I scared you when I had that dream but it seemed so real. But I know you will always be there for me and you have no idea how that makes me feel, I have more family now than I have ever had in my life. Grace has become more of a mother to me in the short time I have known her than my own mother has ever been, and I know you don't like it but I look on Gail as a sort of surrogate mom too. I have confided in her a few times about things. I have a brother and sister now and I love Elliot and Mia to bits."

I stop and touch Christian's cheek, "and then I have you".

I snuggle closer and hold him to me, "You are the most loving, generous person I have ever met, we haven't yet been married a day and you have fulfilled one of my biggest life ambitions for me, it has always been a dream of mine to visit England ever since I was a little girl. I know that you will do anything for me if it is within your power to, and you will move heaven and earth to find a way if it's not. I know that you love me and will protect me with everything you have. I have no idea how I can compete with any of that and you do overwhelm me sometimes with the scale of what you can do, especially when all I can give you in return is my love and I do give it to you Christian I give all the love I have willingly and completely to you, I don't mean the sex although that is nice too".

I blush furiously "but I love you totally and unconditionally Christian, do you believe that? Because I need you to believe that," I stop and look at him.

He stares at me the love evident in his face as he looks straight into my eyes, "I'm beginning to, I can't understand what you see in me though, all I have thought I ever had to offer anyone was my wealth and sex, but you don't care about my wealth and although you clearly enjoy our sex life you give me so much more".

I laugh, "That is exactly what I think too. What the hell does he see in me? Me! Little mousy Ana Steele, self confessed nerd and bookworm, who is awkward and clumsy and nowhere near your league".

Christian grips my shoulders and turns me to face him and his grey eyes bore into me, "Ana you are a beautiful person inside and out and you... you... I don't know, all I know is I feel privileged that you chose me, fucked up fifty shades me, as the man you fell in love with, and I am the one not worthy".

I laugh, "Ok we will be going on like this all night if we are not careful, I just want... no, I need you to know and understand how much I love you Christian, and you _are_ worthy, you are a good man Christian Grey". I stop speaking and look intently at him; he smiles his shy smile and then buries his head into my neck.

After a good night's sleep I am excited to get out and about and see the sights of London. Taylor has arranged a rental car for us, when Christian sees it for the first time he just stares at it. I know it is much smaller than what he is used to riding in, and I grin and put my hand over my mouth as I take in his expression. I glance at Taylor and I see him also trying to hide his amusement at my husband's reaction.

"Well, are we going?" I ask eager to get going.

Christian smiles and opens the car door for me. We see all the main sights, The Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, Downing Street, Westminster Abbey, St Paul's Cathedral, I am in my element taking photographs of them all, I have only ever seen these places on the TV or in books so to be actually standing here is unbelievable. The first thing Christian did this morning before we left the hotel was present me with a new camera, a compact point and shoot, but a top of the range one none the less.

The best thing about being here is the fact Christian isn't that well known and we are pretty much left alone, and it's a liberating feeling. We see the changing of the guard and it's a spectacular sight. Christian takes me to the Tower of London and we see the crown jewels and he has booked a boat to take us on a cruise down the River Thames. I listen enthralled to the commentary informing us of all the buildings along the waters edge, we pass one which the guide informs us is where Charles Dickens stayed for a while. We end up at Greenwich and see a magnificent building which we are informed is a Naval Museum and on a hill in the distance the Greenwich observatory is pointed out to us. Two days pass in a blur of sights and sounds of the capital of England

As we are heading back to our hotel in the early evening of the second day I feel my phone vibrating, I dive into the pocket of my jeans and pull it out glancing at the screen, I smile as I see Eva's name.

"Eva!" I say brightly.

"Hi how's London?" she asks me.

"It's good, there is so much to see I'm like a kid in a candy store" I say with a giggle "Anyway what can I do for you?" I ask.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but Gideon received a call today... from your mom, he told me not to say anything as he didn't want to spoil your honeymoon but I thought you'd want to know," she sounds apologetic.

I sit up straighter and this reaction puts Christian immediately on alert.

"Why would she call Gideon?" I ask totally confused.

"Well, when he called her to persuade her to come to the wedding, he called her from his private cell phone, so she obviously has his number now and it appears that she has received some sort letter this morning, from you?" I close my eyes and cringe.

"Hell, she got that quickly, what did she do?" I ask in a resigned tone.

"Well… It wasn't pretty, he put the call on speaker and I heard everything, she was rambling and I hate to say it but she sounded stoned or drunk. She was slurring her words quite badly, she went on and on about how Christian had poisoned you against her and how you would have never said all those horrible things to her if it wasn't for him and she said that if Gideon were the friend he said he was he should use some of his influence and separate you and Christian and forcibly if necessary take you away from him". I can't help it, my mouth just drops open at that.

"Shit" I say before I can stop myself, "Is Gideon there now?" I ask.

"Hell no, that's why I am calling you, Gideon told her that as far as he was concerned you and Christian were very happy and he wasn't going to interfere in your relationship for anyone and considering what she had said to him previously, he said he was surprised she had the cheek to even ask, and from what he recalled, whatever you had said to her was obviously deserved from the way she had previously behaved. As you can imagine that didn't go down too well with her and she called him a few choice names before making a few threats and then she hung up. Gideon says he was going to call Christian later, because she made threats about going to the media, but in the meantime he has put his people on alert for anything appearing, but as yet nothing has broken here. I called Kate and gave her a heads up about it – with her dad being big in the media I thought it would help to have someone on the inside. I'm sorry to spoil your honeymoon with this Ana but I thought you should know".

I close my eyes and I feel tears threaten, "No, thank you Eva, I appreciate you telling me and for everything you and Gideon have done. Listen, Christian is here would you mind telling him what you have just told me?"

"Erm, well Gideon said he was going to call him, but I guess I could," she says.

I hand my phone over to Christian who is getting more and more agitated by the second, "It's Eva" I say as I pass the phone to him.

I see him listen carefully, Taylor is also paying attention. Although he is driving, he keeps glancing into the rear through the mirror.

"Eva, hang on a second I'm going to put you on speaker as I think Taylor should hear this as well". Moments later Eva's voice comes through and I hear the story all over again. I see Christian bristle with anger and Taylor shakes his head.

"Miss Trammell, thank you for the heads up I'll liaise with Angus immediately and find out if there have been any developments" Taylor says.

"Hi Jace, and no problem," I see Taylor smile at Eva's casual greeting.

"Thank you for telling us Eva" Christian says.

"No problem Christian, I tried to tell Gideon you would all want to know, but he's as stubborn as you but rest assured he got right on it as soon as he hung up from her".

"Thank you Eva and I'm so sorry you both had to deal with my crazy mother" I say sadly.

"Hey don't apologise Ana, she won't be able to contact him again he's blocked her number!" she giggles at this, "Oh he's here now" she adds.

We hear Gideon's voice in the background and then clearly on the line. "Christian, Ana, it's me Gideon. I did ask Eva not to worry you with this, I have my people monitoring all the media outlets and keeping tabs on internet gossip sites and Eva called Kate to get someone in on the inside. I am not totally convinced your mother will actually do anything, she was clearly drunk or something when she called, and as such it may have been all bravado".

Christian speaks, "Well I'm glad Eva called if anything happens call me immediately no matter what time of the day or night" he says firmly.

"Ok, will do" Gideon says.

"I'm so sorry Gideon you shouldn't have been subjected to that" I say.

"Ana please don't worry about it, the way she was ranting it was better me than anyone else" he says.

We arrive at the hotel and Taylor speaks. "Mr Cross, I am going to liaise with Angus on this is there anyone else I should speak to?"

"Actually, Raul is handling it, so he would be the go to guy" Gideon replies. We thank Eva and Gideon once more before ending the call and heading inside.

As soon as we reach our suite Christian is on the phone, from what I can gather he calls his father for legal advice and Kate for information. While he is talking to them I sneak away and decide to deal with my mother myself.

I take a deep breath and make the call. It rings out for a while and then Bob answers.

"Hello Ana he says when I say hello.

"Bob what does my mother think she is playing at?" I say with no preamble.

"I beg your pardon?" he replies.

I quickly outline the events of the past few days and I hear him sigh. "She's left me Ana, I have no idea where she is or what she is doing, I had my suspicions she was seeing someone else and then I came home from work tonight and the house was empty, she has gone, taken all her clothes and everything and just gone" I sit down with a thud on the bed.

"Oh god Bob, I'm so sorry" I say.

"No Ana, I'm sorry. I knew it was eating at her as soon as you hooked up with Christian, she started making snide comments about his wealth and how you had fallen on your feet, almost as if she begrudged you any happiness" Bob sighs, "If I hear anything I'll let you know ok?" he says.

"Thank you Bob I appreciate that" I say. I end the call and head out to Christian.

"What is it?" he says.

"I just called my mom at home and she's gone, she's left Bob and just gone" I say.

"Oh baby" he says and pulls me towards him.

"Bob said he will call me if he hears anything, but I'm going to try her cell phone" I say and ease myself out of Christian's arms.

I walk back into the bedroom and he follows me. I turn and shake my head, "No, I need to be alone to do this" I say. He nods and walks out leaving me staring at my phone.

I call my mother's cell phone and wait.

"Oh so you remember I exist then" is the slurred greeting I get as soon as she answers.

My anger spikes and I realise how pissed off I am at her so I stand up and I let her have it, I unleash my inner bitch and give her free reign.

"I'm fine thanks Carla nice of you to ask, oh sorry you don't do you because it's always all about you isn't it".

I hear my mother gasp and go to say something but I jump in quickly "No you listen Carla; I am calling you Carla because you don't deserve the title mom, you are no mother and you never have been. What the hell do you think you are playing at? You were begged to attend our wedding by five different people, five people who cared enough about me and my feelings to try and persuade my own self centred mother to attend. You are so far out of line its unreal; I understand that you have received my letter today that explains how I feel. At this moment I really don't ever want to see you again, how do you think I feel? I am on my honeymoon and my friends called to tell me you have been harassing them and spewing your warped views to them. Can't you just be happy for me? I have always made excuses for you and forgiven you time after time, but no more Carla, no more! You have gone too far this time, the fact you are jealous of your own daughter because she has found happiness in her life is just sick! I have married the most wonderful man in the world and all you can do bitch and make up wild accusations about him. Well enough, until you stop bad mouthing my husband who has done absolutely nothing to you except generously offer to fly you to our wedding and you accept that you are to blame for the state of our now non existent relationship you can go to hell!"

I hang up and throw my phone on the bed. I am almost panting I am so angry.

Shit, I just told my mother to go to hell, I feel my legs give way and I sit down on the bed, as I do so I start to cry.

I hear the door open and Christian walks in, "I heard most of that" he says as he sits beside me. "Tell me what to do Ana, how I can comfort you and make you feel better?" he asks.

I lean my head on his shoulder, "Just hold me and tell me you love me" I say quietly.

He grips me and pulls me into his lap, "That I can do!" he says.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

We stay in London for a couple more days, and Christian is showing me everything that there is possible to see. Also, while we are there, we also visit a doctor who was recommended by Dr Green in Seattle as one of Britain's top gynaecology consultants, and I feel a little embarrassed when I see the look of utter surprise on her face when she discovers all we want is contraception.

She gives Christian a withering look as she informs him quite curtly, that any GP would have been sufficient for our request and happy to see us, but she is much kinder with me. I tell her about the miscarriage and she gives me a thorough examination before she prescribes me anything. Eventually, she gives me a prescription for the mini pill and assures me that although it has a different name to the pills I was prescribed in the States it is essentially the same thing and then she sends an email to Dr Green in Seattle regarding her examination and listing the medication she has prescribed for me.

We leave London and our honeymoon continues with a kind of road trip around the UK. Christian has outdone himself with the organisation of this honeymoon. The different places he takes me to, just takes my breath away. He takes me to Cornwall and we see Tintagel Castle, supposedly the seat of King Arthur, it is truly magical and I love it there. We go to Dorset and visit where Thomas Hardy was born and see the areas which inspired his stories, then Christian takes me to Stonehenge, I discover this is owned by the same organisation that takes care of Tintagel Castle and Christian has given them a sizable donation to have a private guided tour of both places. We then head north to Stratford upon Avon and visit Shakespeare's birthplace, and other places linked with the bard. Christian once again arranged for us to have a private tour of Shakespeare's birthplace.

We go further north, and he takes me to Bronte Country and we visit Haworth, it is a gorgeous quaint little village. I am in my element when we visit the parsonage where the Bronte Sisters lived and we walk the beautiful countryside which supposedly inspired Wuthering Heights. As we explore the village he takes me past a tiny railway station and I am delighted when I see a steam train pass through, we are told that there is a network of heritage railways which preserve these beautiful trains throughout the country and this is one of them. We go on to York and spend the day there, it is amazing seeing all the different periods of time preserved in one place.

We head further north and Christian takes me to Lindisfarne and the Holy Islands this part of England is so wild and rugged, but so beautiful and there are so many castles in this part of the country. I will never forget this trip as long as I live. We then spend a couple of days in Scotland and we visit Edinburgh and Glasgow, before going really far north to the Orkney Islands and he takes me to the Neolithic settlement of Skara Brae. It is all so overwhelming; the history of this small island is so rich and deep.

We were also really lucky with the weather, we did see some rain but most days were fine and sunny but I did notice the distinct fall in temperature the further north we went. We also noticed that the people were different in the different places we visited, in London everyone seemed to be in their own little bubble but the further north we went we noticed people were generally friendlier and would smile and say hello.

We are under no illusions that America is a new country in comparison to the UK. As we travel back down the country, we stop off at various places which Christian has planned, he takes me to Liverpool, and I am struck by what a vibrant city it is and how it has much more history than just its link with The Beatles. The people here are so proud of their city and eager to show it off. We visit places and see things I would never have heard of if we hadn't come here, numerous times on our travels we get comments that people are surprised we are there, as generally speaking American Tourists don't stray far from London, and when they do it is only to visit the world famous sights such as Stonehenge and York. I ask Christian how he had heard of many of these obscure places and he had told me, he had talked it over with Gideon who had told Angus of his plans, and Angus had been only too pleased to give Christian an in depth list of places of interest and also tips about more obscure tourist attractions.

One of these is Castleton, we stop in the Derbyshire Peak District which has some breathtakingly spectacular scenery and we visit some old mines which have been turned into tourist attractions. Christian took me to one in the tiny village of Castleton which has the nickname 'The Devils Arse' which makes me giggle, and according to the tour guide who took us round had a very important visitor many years previously when Queen Victoria apparently visited during her reign. When we leave Castleton we catch a glimpse of a church with an odd shaped spire and I snap a picture of it, I take a note of the area and Google it and am surprised to note that the crooked spire of the church in Chesterfield is famous quirky landmark in the UK.

As we zig zag the country we see many other landmarks like the Angel of the North, a magnificent piece of modern art which dominates the skyline near the city of Gateshead. We visit the amazing Ironbridge Gorge area, in Shropshire which is credited as the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution. We head east and go to Lincoln, a very beautiful city which reminds me a little of York, and it has just as much history. We visit the castle there and view a copy of the original Magna Carta, it is one of only three originals left in existence.

We visit the cities of Oxford and Cambridge and see the world famous universities, and then to Bath, the famous spa city and see the remains of the Roman Spa which has been preserved there, then somewhat sadly, we head back to London and to the airport for home. I feel privileged to have been in the position to have been able to do this. I know Christian has kept me busy and entranced on purpose throughout the honeymoon, to take my mind off the issues with my mother, the forthcoming trial and the continuing dark grief ridden thoughts of my lost baby, and I love him for it.

We are on the plane heading back to the States, I am feeling happy and content. Christian is sitting next to me and he is reading through some paperwork which was emailed to him this morning by Ros. As he finishes up he looks at me.

"Happy?" he asks me carefully.

I lean towards him, "Very!" I say, and plant a small kiss on his lips.

"Thank you Christian, that was truly a trip of a lifetime, I have seen things which I would never have expected in my life and things which I would never have seen had I gone to England on my own as a tourist".

Christian wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him, "I want to show you the world Ana, I want to give you the world, you deserve it so much, and it makes me happy to see you so delighted."

He stops and lets out a small chuckle, which makes me look up at him questioningly as I wonder what he is thinking.

"What?" I ask.

"Do you know, my favourite moment of the entire honeymoon, was that cream tea we had when we were in Cornwall, the look on your face when you ate that scone covered with cream and jam was a picture!"

I giggle, as I remember that delicious scone, not to mention my reaction to it, "Well it was delicious, and the tea was the nicest I have ever drunk, I have never had Earl Grey before".

"That's what you do Ana, it's the little things, you have shown me and made me see and appreciate that the little things are important. The big gestures are all very well, but you recognise the value of the little things and you are teaching me to do that as well, thank you," he says, giving me his beautiful shy smile.

I lean towards him and rest my head on his shoulder, "It's my pleasure Mr Grey" I whisper.

He kisses my head, "how about we continue this in the bedroom?" he says his voice thick with emotion as he pulls me to my feet and leads me towards the back of the plane to the small bedroom.

**oooOOOooo**

I am suddenly awakened by knocking on the door and I look around momentarily disorientated until I realise where I am and what is happening and that is the fact that we are flying back to the States and that Christian and I have spent most of the flight with him inside me, until we fell asleep.

I look at my sleeping husband beside me, he has his arm wrapped around me and his leg is entwined with mine so I know that I will awaken him when I move to answer the door, plus I don't want to move so I just call out instead of moving.

We are both completely naked so I quickly pull the sheet around us and happy that we are decent I call out.

"Come in" I shout.

As I anticipated, when I call out it awakens Christian and as he rouses he realises what is happening and he moves his arm from underneath the sheet to over it and he holds it around me.

The door opens and Taylor walks in, "Sir, Mrs Grey, we about to begin our descent" he says.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian replies sharply, now fully awake.

Taylor just nods and leaves us alone, closing the door behind him. When he has left the room Christian glances at me and smiles. I have no idea why I feel so embarrassed, we are newlyweds and Taylor above anyone knows what Christian is like and it's not as if I flashed him or anything.

We quickly shower and dress, and then head out to sit and put our seatbelts on. I glance out of the window and gasp as I take in our surroundings, we are landing at JFK, not Sea Tac.

"We are back in New York!" I exclaim.

Christian nods, "Yes, I thought it was sensible, we have an appointment in a couple of days to see the prosecution team for the trial, so it seemed sensible to head straight here instead of going home only to have to return days later".

He looks at me carefully gauging my reaction, then he reaches for my hand and squeezes "and we were always going to come here first when we returned, as we have to retrieve our son from the apartment before we return to Seattle," he says carefully.

I swallow hard at that and just nod, but don't say anything as the feeling of coming down to earth with a bump has just hit me.

My spirits are raised again, as the doors open and Christian leads me out of the plane and down the steps, I see Gideon and Eva waiting for us. I let go of Christian's hand and push past him and run down the steps.

"Careful!" he cries anxiously.

I hug Eva tightly and immediately we start talking nineteen to the dozen. Gideon rolls his eyes and Christian shakes his head. I turn to Gideon and hug him warmly and as he hugs me back, Christian quickly pulls me towards him again and places me firmly at his side.

"Ana, we are going on a girl's night out tonight I want to hear all the details about your honeymoon" Eva says firmly.

I glance at Christian and see his face has set into an icy impassive mask, I can tell he's not happy about this idea but I would really like to spend some time with Eva. I think Gideon senses Christian's unspoken opposition and quickly steps in.

"Remember what I told you Angel. My clubs, my car, my security; you stick to a circuit of my clubs and your security stays in the car, but if you deviate - they go in with you".

Eva rolls her eyes, "Yes dear!" she says sarcastically and I start to giggle at that. "So what do you say Ana?" she says looking at me once more.

"I'd love to," I say adamantly staring defiantly at Christian and almost daring him to object.

I see him thinking things over and when he does eventually capitulate, it is with conditions. "Taylor goes with you as well and he accompanies you into the clubs regardless of whether they are Gideon's or not" he says adamantly.

I shrug, "Sure" I say, I had expected that.

Eva bounces up and down and claps her hands.

We head back to our apartment and Gideon and Eva drop us off before heading down the road to theirs and as I climb out I turn to Eva.

"What are you wearing?" I ask.

"I'm going classic - little black dress, lots of jewellery" she says with a grin.

I smile back and nod, "sounds good" I say.

When we get inside Christian looks at me and I want to just hold him as the look in his eyes is killing me he really is absolutely terrified about me going out with Eva.

"Be careful baby and stay close to Taylor" he says after a moment and I nod. I know he is panicking about it and I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Christian please don't worry about me, I will do exactly what Taylor says. I really would like to go out with Eva, and if we are in Gideon's clubs I'm sure he will have instructions in place".

Christian nods, "I know but I just worry, if anything happened to you it would kill me" he says.

Later that evening when Eva and Gideon show up, Eva is bouncing with excitement and Gideon follows her in and the first thing I notice is that he is carrying a grocery bag and he grins at Christian.

"If the girls are going out to enjoy themselves, then why shouldn't we do the same?" he says as he waves the bag at Christian.

Christian glances in the bag and sees the beer and smiles, "Excellent plan," he says.

Eva grabs my arm and after saying our goodbyes and reassuring our over protective husbands that we will be fine and will listen to security we head out. I notice Taylor following at a discreet distance. Downstairs outside waiting for us is Gideon's limo and I stop dead when I see it and raise my eyebrows at Eva.

"The Limo, seriously?" I ask.

Eva just grins knowingly and pats my arm, "All will become clear when you get inside!" she says.

Taylor opens the door for me and I climb in. I gasp as I see Kate sitting casually in there; she looks up at me and is grinning widely.

"Kate!" I exclaim loudly.

"Hey Steele," she drawls.

"It's Grey now" I retort as I lean in and hug her, "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I'm on a work assignment in New York. While here I've been hanging out with Eva and when we heard you were flying in from merry old England today, we decided that you needed to join us and tell us all about it!"

It makes me really happy to hear that, after Kate's childish behaviour at the wedding. Eva clambers in and introduces us to the man sitting quietly in the corner.

"Ana this is Raul, he also handles Gideon's security and Angus you already know" she says pointing to Angus sitting in the driver's seat. I look at Raul, and he seems familiar and then I remember him as the young man I saw, right back when I first met Gideon when I came to New York with SIP. Taylor climbs in next to Angus and he and Raul nod at each other.

I lean towards Angus and greet him and I thank him for his information which resulted in my wonderful honeymoon, he smiles widely at me and tells me that it was his pleasure and that he was happy that I enjoyed myself.

"Ok ladies, please take these" Raul says efficiently as he hands us a small cell phone. "Any issues whatsoever please press speed dial one and you will immediately be paged through to me here in the limo" I take one and glance at Taylor.

"Is this necessary, I mean Jason is accompanying us inside?" I ask.

Raul nods firmly, "It is Mrs Grey, Jason will be unable to accompany you to the bathroom so you will need these so you can be in constant communication with security should any issue arise. If any issues do occur then I will be able to coordinate movement and if necessary extra back up from here".

I nod "Ok" I say.

Kate takes hers and rolls her eyes, she doesn't get the whole security and risk thing. I switch off my own cell phone as I don't want to have to deal with two different ones and then I push them both into my bag.

The limo pulls up outside the first club and we are immediately whisked in past the line and led straight to the VIP area. Jason settles himself at a table a few feet away with a bottle of water in front of him. I feel a little bit sorry for him and guilty for him having to sit here and babysit us, so I walk over and speak to him.

"I'm sorry about this, I am guessing this is the last thing you want to be doing tonight" I say genuinely apologetically.

Taylor looks at me in surprise as if that thought had never occurred to him and he shakes his head at me. "Mrs Grey I am doing my job. You wanted to come out with your friends so I accompany you in Luke's absence" he says firmly.

I touch his shoulder, "I won't cause you any trouble" I say with a grin.

I see his mouth twitch in amusement, "That is very gratifying to know" he says wryly.

We have a few dances and out of the corner of my eye I see that a man appears to be watching us. He is leaning against the bar and he hasn't taken his eyes off us once.

My attention is drawn back to my companions when Eva shouts in my ear, "I need to pee" she says and I nod in agreement.

"I'll come too," I say suddenly having a similar urge. I turn to Kate, "We are going to the bathroom" I shout.

She gives us the thumbs up sign and just carries on dancing.

As we walk past Taylor, I tell him where we are going and he stands to follow us. I quickly tell him we will be fine, he hesitates for a moment as I point out that we will be only a few feet away, but eventually he nods and sits back down. We head down a corridor and just as I go to push open the door of the bathroom, I see the man who was watching us earlier appear from the men's room. Eva's reaction is instant and terrifying she grips me tightly and gasps.

"No," she whispers, I look and see the man walking straight for us and he has a sly grin on his face.

I know immediately from Eva's reaction that this must be Nathan Barker. Any urge I had to go to the bathroom vanishes and I instinctively push Eva behind me, before turning to face him and glaring at him with open hostility.

"Hello Eva, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" he says.

My initial opinion of him is that he is a slimy and repulsive individual and Eva is clearly terrified of him as she is shaking profusely. I wrench open the door of the ladies room and push Eva in.

"ANA!" she shouts as I pull the door shut.

"Stay there Eva - you are safe" I say firmly, and then turn to the man.

"Nathan Barker I presume?" I say confidently.

He smiles and nods, "I am, and you are?" he asks.

"None of your fucking business, but if you want to get out of here in one piece I suggest you leave now" I say.

The next thing I know he has me pinned against the wall and is running his hand up my leg. Reaching down, I grab his hand and dig my nails in hard and as he yelps, he loosens his grip on me and I bring my knee up and it comes into sharp contact with his balls. He doubles over and falls in a heap on the floor clutching himself. I don't know what possesses me, but I lean over him and yank his hand away and with all the force I can manage I stamp on his balls with my stiletto heel. The howl he releases brings Eva out of the bathroom and she is staring at Nathan on the floor but I don't relent instead of removing my stiletto heel from his groin I press harder and then I move my foot from side to side as if I am trying screw my heel into him, he pleads with me to stop and he sounds pitiful.

Just at that moment Taylor and Raul round the corner and skid to a halt, astonished at the sight in front of them.

"Mrs Grey, are you ok?" Raul asks nervously.

"Better than him I think," I say sardonically and I give Raul a smug grin, as I finally lift my foot away.

Taylor pulls out his buzzing phone, "Hello Sir, yes sir she is... yes sir," Taylor hands me his phone, "Erm, Mr Grey wants to speak to you" he says.

I roll my eyes as I reach out for the phone, "Hello Christian" I say calmly.

"Ana, what happened, Gideon just got a code red alert on his phone from Eva, what's going on, we can't get to you, we have been drinking and fucking hell Ana, please tell me you are ok?"

He is obviously frantic and I can picture him pacing around and clutching his hair. I realise his reaction is probably worse because my cell phone is switched off and he couldn't reach me, I feel a twinge of guilt at this.

"Christian, just calm down I'm fine. We got approached by Nathan Barker, I pushed Eva into the ladies bathroom and I dealt with him" I say.

"What do you mean you dealt with him? Did he touch you, Ana? What did he do?" he asks and I can hear him getting even more worked up.

"He tried, but he regretted it" I say.

"Shit! What did he fucking do to you and what did you do?" Christian asks, he is yelling loudly now and I pull the phone away from my ear slightly.

"Christian please calm down and stop shouting. He tried to touch me up, so I kneed him in the balls and then stamped on them with my stiletto heel" I say calmly.

I hear Christian gasp at that, and I smile as the stunned silence spreads out between us.

"Ok baby, as long as you are ok, put Taylor back on" he says eventually in an unsteady voice.

I hand the phone back to Taylor and I look and see Eva talking on Raul's phone, and I am guessing she is talking to Gideon. Then as she hands back the phone something unexpected happens.

I feel something grab at me, I look down and Nathan has grabbed my leg, I spin and lose my balance and my foot comes down hard on his arm, my stiletto heel penetrating the skin. His grasp falls away, and he screams in pain before yelling all kinds of obscenities at me.

"Sir, I need to go," Taylor says calmly and hangs up.

"Shut up you nasty fucking pervert," I scream at Nathan who is now cradling his injured arm. "You did that all by yourself, if you hadn't grabbed me I wouldn't have stumbled, what's wrong with you, don't you like it when a woman gets the upper hand?" I sneer.

I see his face contort with rage and he starts to struggle to his feet, grimacing with the effort and his hand moving to his crotch to cradle himself where I had stamped on him. Eva is frozen with fear and Raul quickly shoves her back into the bathroom and stands in front of the door.

He then calls Angus, "Mr Cross and Mr Grey are asking to be brought here," he states firmly and then hangs up.

I inwardly smile at that, what he means is Christian and Gideon are demanding someone fetches them immediately. My attention is brought back to Nathan Barker and I glare menacingly at him.

I can hear Eva crying and Nathan hears it and smiles, with that something snaps. I am beyond angry now; this piece of shit has terrified my friend for too long and if I have my way he will never have that kind of hold on her again.

Before I can say or do anything the area is flooded with security, I am assuming it is Gideon's team as Raul is pointing to the angry man hunched up leaning against the wall clutching his balls. Raul quickly issues instructions and within moments Nathan is being held none too carefully by two of the security team.

"Wait," I call as they go to take him away.

The two men stop as I open the bathroom door and pull Eva out wrapping my arm around her.

"Say what you need to say, do what you need to do and prove to him that he doesn't have a hold on you anymore" I say, wishing I had been this brave when I was confronted with Morton a few weeks ago.

I feel Eva straighten up and stop shaking, she glances at me and I nod encouragingly at her and she walks up to Nathan and spits in his face. I see his shock turning to blind fury but before he can do anything she looks at me once more and smiles and then turns and kicks him hard in the balls, all the men visibly cringe, and Nathan gasps in pain and crumples.

Then I see something, I see Nathan who doubled over is now staring at the side arm of one of the men holding him and instinctively I know what he is going to do, he is going to do something and grab the gun. I see Raul's revolver within my grasp, and as Nathan turns and wrenches himself free and reaches for the gun I don't hesitate, I grab Raul's gun from the holster and point, aim and fire. Nathan screams, the blood pouring from his wrist and he drops the gun he snatched and falls forward clutching his bleeding wrist. He is now squealing like a stabbed pig and repeating over and over 'she shot me'.

Raul and Taylor are staring at me with open mouths, I shrug.

"I saw him looking at that guy's gun, I anticipated that he would try and snatch it, he was going to try and I saw Raul's gun available and so I went for it." I look at the gun in my hand and flush a little before handing it back to Raul, he smiles at me as he takes it from me and pushes it back into the holster.

"Thank you Mrs Grey, where did you learn to do that?" he asks, he sounds genuinely impressed as to my gun skills.

"My father taught me" I say calmly.

"Ray, taught you very well" Taylor mutters.

I turn to speak to him and see Gideon and Christian standing there with their mouths wide open, they are rooted to the spot. Angus is next to them and he is grinning from ear to ear.

"Nice shot Mrs Grey" he says with his broad Scottish brogue, I smirk as I see Christian glare at him.

I walk bravely towards Christian, who is clearly on the verge of completely losing it and he opens his arms and I walk into them.

"Hi" I mutter.

"What the hell was that?" he growls at me.

I pull back, my eyebrows raised and my hands go to my hips and I stare at him.

"That, Christian was me getting the job done, I saw what he was going to do and I reacted to stop it," I say sharply.

"You could have been fucking killed" he splutters.

I stare at him and I realise yes he is angry, but his primary emotion is fear. Fear that I could have been hurt or killed and my defensive attitude melts away as I step towards him and pull him into my arms. He is rigid and yet he is also trembling, and after a moments hesitation his arms fold around me and he relaxes a little.

"I'm sorry I scared you but I'm fine, not a scratch" I whisper to him. Christian doesn't say a word in response, but just pulls me closer.

Nathan has now been taken away, and Eva walks up to us and reaching out she touches Christians arm.

"Please don't be angry with her Christian, she was brilliant. Ana where did you learn that stuff with the guns, you just reacted and were a crack shot?" she says.

I shrug, now slightly embarrassed. "My father taught me self defence, and how to shoot and throw weapons, he was in the Army, special ops and he taught me everything he knew, including how to read people and anticipate their next move, which is what I did with Nathan, but it was easy the way he was behaving he practically told us what he planned to do," I say.

"Shit Christian, you have married one hell of a woman" Gideon says with a grin.

I see pride flicker in Christian's eyes and he shakes his head but still doesn't say anything.

"Where's Kate?" I ask suddenly remembering her, we have been gone ages and we left her dancing.

"Miss Kavanagh is fine, she's still dancing" Taylor says with a grin.

I roll my eyes, and turn to Eva "I don't know about you Eva, but I think I'd like to go home now, I'm feeling suddenly tired".

Eva nods, "Yeah we've had enough excitement for one night!" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I awaken to see Christian sitting on the bed staring at me.

"What?" I say groggily as I rub my eyes and yawn.

"I am just watching my beautiful wife, who scared the fucking life out of me last night" he says.

"I'm still here and I don't have a mark on me, unlike that piece of shit Barker, so all in all I would say that is a success!" I say sardonically.

Christian shakes his head, "You could have been hurt or killed, if you hadn't seen him and reacted he could have shot you," he argues.

"But he didn't. I did react and I am safe, don't torture yourself with what could have been," I say firmly.

Christian nods but I can see he is not totally convinced by my words.

"Where is he now?" I ask.

"Who? Barker?" Christian asks I nod at him.

"In hospital, your stiletto has ensured he won't be raping any more women in the foreseeable future, as it caused quite substantial damage, and the bullet you fired at him shattered his wrist, he had to have surgery to repair the damage, so he is in quite a state" Christian says, and I detect the pride in his voice again.

"Good" I say coldly.

"He is under armed guard; he has violated the restraining order and attempted to assault you, not to mention the stunt he pulled when he grabbed the gun, so he is in deep shit right now".

There is a knock at the door, Christian turns, "Come in," he says automatically pulling the sheet up to cover me, even though I am fully clothed in one of his T shirts.

Taylor opens the door and steps inside, "Sir, Mr Cross is here to see you," he says.

Christian looks surprised and stands up, "Thank you Taylor he says, he turns and plants a swift kiss on my forehead and leaves the room.

I look at the clock, surely Gideon should be at work as it is nearly 10.30am? I slept in this morning after the long flight from the UK and then the situation last night, I think it all got to me.

I quickly shower and get dressed and head out to find him. I see them both in deep conversation, as I look at them with similar expressions on their faces they look so alike, Gideon has dark almost black hair and piercing blue eyes whereas Christian has grey eyes and copper hair, but the expressions on their faces and the way they are holding themselves is identical. I smile two powerful CEO's, the way they are standing there at the moment they are screaming power and authority. They are obviously discussing something they don't want me to know about, because as I walk over they immediately stop and smile at me.

"What are you two discussing?" I ask my suspicions rising at their shifty behaviour.

"Barker" Gideon spits.

"Christian said he was in hospital under guard?" I say.

"He was, but he has now been released and he has been granted bail," Gideon replies.

I realise that this is what they were discussing.

"How's Eva?" I ask, realising this news won't be met with any positive reaction from her.

Gideon smiles, "Fine, she has been attending Krav Maga classes for a while but she said what you did last night put all she learnt in the shade".

I laugh humourlessly, "It didn't help me when I was confronted by Morton, I was unable to do anything then," I say quietly.

Christian immediately pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around me and rubs my back.

"That reminds me, we are seeing the prosecution team today at 2 o clock" Christian says, "the trial has been rescheduled again for next week, so we need to see them today and go over what happened when you were taken".

I nod, I have been dreading this, having to relive that day. "Ok" I say quietly.

Gideon is watching and listening to us and then he quickly excuses himself and leaves, Christian goes with him to see him out and I frown as I watch them leave as they are both whispering furiously, they are up to something and I really want to know what is going on.

When Christian returns I stand with my hands on my hips and glare at him.

"Ok Grey, spill the beans, what was all that about?" I ask.

Christian looks at me, he hesitates for a moment and then sighs, "Gideon is on the edge about Barker, especially now he is at large again. I've never seen him this wound up, about anything, he just wanted to talk that's all, I promise you," he says.

I still have a feeling there is more to this than Christian is letting on, but I knew what he did tell me was the truth. I had got that much from Gideon's body language when he was here as it was obvious he was a coiled spring. I decide to let it go for now, as whatever they were discussing, he obviously has no intention of sharing with me at the moment.

Christian spends the morning getting caught up on work issues; he is on the phone to Ros for most of the morning being brought up to speed on all GEH related matters. Eventually he emerges from his office and stretches.

I watch his body flex underneath his t shirt and I feel that familiar pull in my stomach, this man should have a health warning on him the way he makes me feel.

"I'm hungry, shall we head out for some lunch, or do you want to eat here?" he asks.

"I don't mind" I say with a shrug.

"Come on then, I know just the place we can go to," he says holding out his hand to me, I stand and take it and I am surprised as he walks me through the streets of New York and to this delightful little diner. I love it on sight but just looking at it I can see it isn't somewhere I would normally associate with Christian, as it is really quite humble and basic. I watch as he is greeted warmly and I decide that he obviously knows the owner.

"Joe, how's business?" Christian asks as he shakes the man's hand.

"Mr Grey! How are you? It's good to see you again, come and sit down, business is good, very good" the man says.

"Good to hear Joe, let me introduce you to my wife, Anastasia" Christian says pulling me to his side.

The man beams at me and greets me warmly. "I heard on the news you had met someone and married, congratulations, so what are you doing in New York, are you on honeymoon?" he asks grinning at Christian.

Christian laughs, "No, we have just returned from our honeymoon, we are on a stop off in New York, visiting friends before we head back home to Seattle," he says.

I am surprised that Christian is being so open with this guy and so relaxed. A young girl brings some menus and Joe reappears with two large glasses of soda.

"So, how do you know this guy?" I ask.

Christian smiles and takes a sip of his drink, "he used to work at GEH in the staff restaurant in Grey House, but he had to return to New York to be with his father who was ill. His father owned this place and due to his ill health he had let it get run down. He went to Human Resources to hand in his notice and I was there at the time and I heard his story first hand, he was... is a damn good chef, and I wanted to help him get this place back up to scratch, so I flew out here with him and we worked out a plan. I gave him a loan to update the place and get everything sorted out and up to code, I gave him ten years to pay it back – he paid it back in four, with interest. He keeps me updated of any new additions to the menu and whenever I am in New York I try to make a point to come here to eat if I am able to," he explains with a shrug as if it is no big deal.

My heart swells even more after hearing that and I reach for his hand, "You are a good man Christian," I say proudly and I squeeze his hand but he just looks embarrassed.

After a delicious lunch we head back to the apartment to change before heading to the court. My good mood evaporates as we enter the courthouse. We are met by a tall man with glasses and he greets us warmly.

I spend the next couple of hours in an office going through everything that happened in minute detail and he coaches me on how to respond to questioning. He tells me that we have a strong case and there is no reason why we shouldn't win.

When we leave, Christian wraps his arm around me, "I'm so proud of you Ana" he says quietly.

I glance at my watch it's nearly 4:30 I am not really listening to what Christian has just said.

"Why?" I ask absently.

"What you have been through, yet you never complain or whine about it, you just pick yourself up and keep going, you are the strongest woman I have ever met, and half of what you have been though would have floored some people. You are still obviously hurting from the loss of our baby and yet you are standing by my side to bring down Elena once and for all. I promise you baby, I will do my damnedest to make sure nobody ever hurts you again".

He kisses my head, I stop and lift my arms up to touch his face, and kiss him sweetly on the lips. I hear clicking and I know we have been papped, I giggle.

"We just got papped!" I whisper to him.

He grins and grabs me dipping me and plants a long lingering passionate kiss on me, we are both grinning as he raises me back up again and we are both panting.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Might as well give them something worth printing!" he says with a wicked grin.

I stare at him, he has never done anything like that before and I wonder what has brought on this exceptionally good mood.

We get back to the apartment and Christian's phone starts ringing. "Grey" he says with clipped tone. He glances at me and he looks shocked.

"When?" he asks, and before he can say anything else Taylor appears looking serious.

"What is it?" I ask him, he says nothing but waits for Christian to hang up.

"Sir, I am assuming you have just heard the news," Taylor says and Christian nods.

"Will someone tell me what is going on?" I ask sharply, as I look between Christian and Taylor.

I watch as Christian rubs his eyes with his hand, "Barker is dead, he was found dead in his hotel room about half an hour ago" he says.

I look at Taylor who nods, "Raul has just called and informed me of this," he says.

"Shit" Christian says and his hands go straight to his head, he grabs his phone and makes a call.

As he does this I see his demeanour change, he takes control and once again becomes the closed off calm CEO.

"Gideon, I just heard the news about Barker," he says.

The way he says it sets me on edge and I get a bad feeling about this, I remember Gideon's surprise visit and Christian's comment about Gideon being on the edge and I start to put two and two together and what I come up with makes worry spike inside me. I calmly walk over to Christian and pull the phone from his ear; he stares at me in astonishment at what I have just done.

"Gideon, it's me Ana, please tell me you had nothing to do with Nathan's death," I say.

"No" he says, he doesn't elaborate and there is something about that brief response which is concerning me, but I decide to believe him for now.

"Ok" I reply, and I hand Christian his phone back. I leave the room and call Eva, she is predictably torn between elation that she is finally free from the threat of Nathan Barker and shock and panic that Gideon may have had something to do with it.

"Eva, do you and Gideon have an alibi for the time span?" I ask cautiously.

"I have, I was at work in a meeting with my boss and the creative team," she says.

There is a significant pause and then she sighs, "but I have no idea about Gideon though, and he isn't saying anything. He said he was working at that new hotel he has bought but I just don't know. What about you and Christian? Especially after last night we all will be prime suspects?" she asks.

"What time period are we talking?" I ask.

"Between 2.30 and 4pm" she replies.

"We were in an office in the courthouse talking with the prosecution team ready for the trial then" I say as relief washes over me.

"Well, I just hope Gideon didn't do anything stupid, but he was so upset after last night" Eva says.

"I'm sure it will be fine, Gideon isn't that stupid" I say trying to reassure her but deep down I know that Gideon is like Christian, anything that threatens the people he loves and he will react. He has always given off such a dark, dangerous untamed vibe that I have no doubts in my mind he _could _be capable of something really bad if pushed too far.

I hang up from Eva and go back to find Christian. He is still talking to Gideon and he stops as I enter the room, which immediately send up a red flag for me.

"Gideon, are you and Eva coming over this evening?" he asks staring at me as he says this. "Good, about 7ish then" he adds, "see you both later then," he hangs up and turns to me.

"Gideon and Eva are coming round this evening" he says with forced brightness. He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes and I just know that Gideon has done something or knows something about the demise of Nathan Barker.

"I heard" I reply.

I look at him carefully, I know he is hiding something, I am confident that Christian isn't involved with Nathan Barkers death, but I'm pretty sure that he knows who is.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

**(GIDEON)**

I don't fucking believe it, that piece of shit has not only been released from hospital but also has been granted bail. I need to get him out of the picture once and for all. I will never forget the look on Christian's face last night when that code red came through on my phone and I felt like my world was falling apart. How could we have put ourselves on the back foot like that, stranded in the god damn apartment with no way of getting to the women we love, no love isn't the right word, need, worship, obsess over, live for...

I decided this morning that never was I going to be in that position again, totally impotent and unable to do a damn thing. I know I am on the edge, Eva can sense it too. I walk out of my office and pause at Scott's desk.

"I have to go out, can you cancel my meeting with Rogers at Hassons" I pause and glance at my watch, "reschedule them and offer my sincere apologies, you know the sort of thing, when I have finished what I need to do, I will be going to the Fairfield as planned and will be on site for the rest of the day".

Scott nods and immediately lifts the phone on his desk, I leave with a word of thanks and call Angus to take me to Christian and Ana's apartment. I need to talk to Christian, I am determined I am going through with this and I know roughly what I am going to do, but Christian knows how I am feeling, as he was feeling exactly the same way last night.

When I arrive Christian comes out to me and I pull him to one side quickly outlining what I need to do.

"Gideon, are you crazy? What if you get caught, you can't do this by yourself and although I feel exactly the same way and would help you in a heartbeat, as I remember what he did to my sister when she was a kid, but I can't. I can't do that to Ana, what if you get caught? How do you think Eva would react? She adores you, and it would kill her".

He is agitated and is pacing, I know he is right, but at this moment I need to do this and can't see any other way out.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do Christian? What kind of life will Eva have with him always lurking? Increased security and restraining orders for the rest of her life? No, I won't subject her to that, so I am ending this once and for all, I have to free her from him".

We talk a while longer and we end up with Christian agreeing to support me should anything go wrong, but not wanting to get personally involved in taking out Barker. I can understand and accept that, he is married now and until Ana lost the baby was going to be a father, it has changed his thought process; he can sympathise and is prepared to help from the sidelines but doesn't want to be involved.

Plus he and Ana have the trial coming up so he is concentrating on supporting Ana through that and I can understand he doesn't want to be risk not being there for her. I tell him I am going to do this and soon and we discuss it a while longer until we are interrupted by Ana coming in.

When I leave, I leave with some knowledge that helps me with the decision I have made, both Christian and Ana are at the courthouse this afternoon. Eva told me that she has a meeting with her boss this afternoon about some big project they are taking on and I am at the Fairfield all day which happens to only be a block away from the hotel Barker is staying in, which is also one of mine. As I drive to work I get the alert that the security update to the CCTV system at the very hotel Barker is staying at will be down, for approximately 3 hours between 2pm and 5pm today, my heart leaps at this news, this has to be fate. I feel everything coming together, this is my chance I can do this, I quickly piece together a plan in my mind, I need help with this and I call the man who contacted me and promised me he would help me get rid of Barker.

"Clancy, today, The Fairfield" I say and hang up.

I realise I will need a distraction at the hotel so I can slip away, it's closed for the refurbishment and restructuring I have implemented. So I think some kind of accident… a fire perhaps? I go and look at what I can create and about an hour later Benjamin Clancy a huge gorilla of a man and the personal security and driver of Eva's step father Richard Stanton joins me at The Fairfield Hotel.

"So what's the plan?" he asks without preamble.

"I need a distraction between 2pm and 5pm, as the security cameras will be down at the hotel Barker is at, so I need a distraction here so that I can slip away without being noticed.

Clancy thinks for a moment and then nods, "A fire in the kitchen should do it, something small, nothing to put life at risk but enough to cause a bit of chaos, leave it with me" he says. We quickly formulate a plan of action and I leave him to do what he has to do.

At nearly 2.25 the fire alarms go off and I smile, I run downstairs and outside, I make a point of being seen by all the key staff and check with a number of them that everyone is out of the building, there are only builders and decorators in the building and senior staff members. The fire department arrive and I make a point of speaking to the chief.

I excuse myself and head to the rear of the building, Clancy is waiting in a small none descript car and I jump in. We head the short distance to my other hotel. I go in through the basement and checking the route as I go I check the security feed to make sure it is indeed offline and I make my way to Barkers room. I take a deep breath as I pull a small knife from inside my coat, and knock on the door, it opens and I see the bastard smirk. I lurch forward and slam the knife into his heart, the look of surprise on his face is instantly extinguished by death as his eyes go fixed and dull. He falls to the floor and I turn and leave, quickly exiting the building the way I came, nobody has seen me, and Clancy drives me back to the Fairfield. I glance at my watch, 14 minutes from beginning to end not bad at all. I climb out and turn to him and nod. I yank off the latex gloves I was wearing and toss them into the dumpster.

"I'll take it from here, there will be no evidence to link you to any of this," Clancy says firmly and drives away. I walk calmly around the front and see the police chief and fire chief. I approach them hand outstretched.

"Gideon Cross" I say as a way of greeting, and I glance at the fire chief, "we spoke earlier do you have any further information for me?"

The two men shake my hand and quickly explain what the cause of the fire appeared to be.

"It seems to have been a complete accident, a can of paint fell over and knocked a pile of papers on to a nearby heater which then caught fire, no suspicious circumstances as far as we can tell," he says calmly.

I smile and nod, "That's good to know, and thank you gentlemen for your swift response" I shake hands with them again and make a mental note to make a substantial donation to the fire department, everyone heads back into the hotel and I go to examine the damage caused by the fire, it will set things back by about a week or so but it was worth it. As I head back upstairs to finish my work a moment later my attention is drawn to the window and I smile again as I see the garbage men emptying the dumpster that I tossed my gloves into.

About half an hour later there is a knock at the door, and Raul enters looking grim.

"Sir, we have just received information that Nathan Barker has been found dead in his hotel room, he was found by housekeeping and it appears he was stabbed" he says.

I arrange my face into what I hope is a surprised look, "Really?! Well it couldn't have happened to a nicer person" I say and Raul grins at that.

"Keep me informed of developments, and let Taylor know, I'm sure Christian would be interested to hear about it" I say.

"Yes sir" Raul nods and leaves.

I sit down, I have killed a man yet I am not sorry. I am not feeling guilty or remorseful, I am elated and in a strange way feeling a little buzzed, that man terrorised Eva. He took her innocence and made her pregnant when she was only a child herself, he deserves everything he got. In fact the only thing I feel any remorse for is the inevitable shock the poor house keeping girl got when she found his body.

I sit for a moment mulling things over and my phone rings and I glance at it, it's Christian, I am guessing Raul has just told Taylor the news; I brace myself and answer the call.

"Gideon, I just heard the news about Barker" he says.

"And?" I say calmly, there is a silence and then I hear Ana's voice on the line, she sounds distraught.

"Gideon, it's me Ana, please tell me you had nothing to do with Nathan's death" she says.

"No" I reply, I hate lying to her, but the least she knows the better for her own good.

"Ok" she says, but I get the distinct impression she doesn't believe me from the way she says it, moments later Christian is back on the line.

"She's gone, tell me?" he says.

"Yes" I say shortly.

"I see" he replies.

We talk a while longer and I make arrangements to go over to tonight to spend time with Christian and Ana.

**(ANA)**

At exactly 7pm Gideon and Eva stride into the apartment, Gideon is tightly reined in I can tell by his demeanour, I glance at Eva and she shakes her head discreetly at me.

"Gideon, come and help me pick some beer," I say cheerily and he obediently leaves Christian and Eva and follows me in to the kitchen. As soon as we are inside, I close the door and turn and face him with my arms folded.

"Ok, did you kill him and don't lie to me?" I ask bluntly.

I see the reaction on his face for a split second and I know, before the impassive mask I have seen so often on Christian, slip effortlessly into place. I shake my head at him but he doesn't say a word.

"How could you be so stupid, have you any idea what you have done?" I say waving my hands in the air.

He just continues to stare at me in silence. "Gideon, I had an altercation last night with him, which left him in hospital. The next day he is released, gets bail and then ends up dead a while later. Do you have any idea how bad that looks for Christian?"

"I had an opportunity and I took it," he says through gritted teeth, "and I don't apologise, I would do it again" he adds coldly.

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, he is rigid and doesn't respond, "Gideon, Eva loves you so much, but this… if you go to jail because of this it would destroy her," I say calmly.

Gideon sighs and he relaxes but only slightly and then he folds me into his arms.

"Ana, I saw Christian last night when I got that code red on my phone. He was distraught, as was I. you girls were in danger and we couldn't do a damn thing, we had to wait and trust security would take care of it. For two men who _need_ control like we do, can you imagine how that felt for us, can you imagine what we went through knowing you two were in danger and we could do absolutely nothing about it? I was determined that none of us would ever be in that position again. I came to see Christian this morning and told him what I was planning. It all came together quicker than I anticipated, Christian said you two were going to be at the courthouse all afternoon, I knew Eva had meetings at work and I was working across town at a hotel I was upgrading, which just happened to be a block away from the hotel Barker was staying in".

He pushes me away from him slightly and looks at me, there is a defiant look on his face and I sigh and hold my hand up to silence him.

"I don't want to know any more Gideon, I can understand why you did it and god knows that low life had it coming, but it was so risky. Gideon are you sure you weren't seen or anything?"

"Positive, please Ana I know you are worried but please believe me when I say none of you will be implicated in this, in fact I can guarantee it," he says confidently.

"Ok" I reply and hug him tightly; he wraps his arms around me and plants a small kiss on my head.

"What the fuck is happening here?" I turn and see Christian staring at us his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Christian... she knows" Gideon says calmly, Christian runs his hands through his hair.

"For fucks sake Gideon, why on earth did you feel it was necessary to tell my wife what you did? Why don't you just put an advertisement in the New York Times!" he says angrily.

I turn around and glare at Christian, "Because he didn't tell me, I guessed and I dragged it out of him, plus the fact I had a right to know. If it didn't escape your notice I shot that bastard last night and stamped on his balls. I, and you for that matter have as much motive as anyone to finish him off and I was making sure that Gideon's actions weren't going to come back and bite you in the ass. You do realise we could be seen as having a motive? We could be seen as accessories to it, I needed to know that you weren't going to taken from me".

I stop and Christian's face softens he strides over to me and pulls me away from Gideon and into his arms.

"I didn't think of it like that. Gideon assured me there would be no come back and no link to any of us". He looks meaningfully at Gideon as he says this and Gideon nods firmly once more.

"I assure you there will be no blow back on anyone" he says.

A moment later there is a discreet cough behind us and we all look around to see Taylor standing there.

"Sir there are two police officers at the door, here to question you about the death of Mr Barker".

At that I feel my legs give way and Christian grips me tightly, "Its ok baby I've got you" he whispers.

We grab the bottles of beer and Christian grabs some snacks and we head out to where Eva is waiting and Taylor goes to show in the police officers.

"Good Evening, sorry to disturb you all," the first one says glancing at the bottles of beer on the table. She glances around the room and then she introduces herself and her partner.

"Not at all officer, would you like a drink?" I ask.

"Water would be nice" she says, I glance at the second one and he thanks me but declines.

"I go to the fridge and fetch a bottle of water and hand it to the officer".

"Thank you" she says then goes all business like "Ok, can I ask how you all know Nathan Barker?" she says pulling out her notepad.

"He was my step brother about ten or so years ago, my mother married his father," Eva says carefully, Gideon has now sat down beside her and is holding her hand.

"Did you know Mr Barker was here in New York?" the officer asks gently, it is obvious she has done her homework and knows of the history.

Eva nods, she looks very pale and she swallows hard, "I saw him a few weeks or so ago something like that, that was the first time I had seen him for years, but then I was out last night and he was at the club we were at and he approached us," she says.

"Us?" the officer asks.

"Ana and I" Eva says glancing at me. The officer turns to me looking at me expectantly, so I explain.

"Eva and Gideon met us at the airport when we returned from the UK from our honeymoon and we that is Eva and I decided to go out last night for a girls night out – a catch up" I say.

"We were at Mirage, with our mutual friend Kate Kavanagh and we, that is Eva and I were in the rest room area when Mr Barker approached us," I pause and watch the officer writing all this down.

"Was Miss Kavanagh with you when Barker approached you?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, we left Kate dancing on the main floor, it was just Eva and I" I say.

The officer nods, and then she gestures for me to continue.

"Eva became distressed when she saw him, and she entered the ladies bathroom, to get away from him and I confronted him. Mr Barker tried to sexually assault me, so I dug my fingers into his hand and stamped on his balls with my stiletto heel. Security arrived and Mr Barker was apprehended by them but he struggled free and took one of the guards side arms. I saw it and reacted, I grabbed a side arm from another security guard and shot him in the wrist to disarm him, shortly afterwards Gideon and Christian arrived, after being informed of the situation as they were spending the evening together here at the apartment. Eva came out of the bathroom and Mr Barker was taken away, that is pretty much everything that happened," I stop and stare at the officer as she scribbles down what I have said.

"You shot him in the wrist? That's very impressive Mrs Grey, where did you learn to fire a gun?" she asks.

"My father taught me, he is ex army, special ops and he taught me everything he knows, I am a crack shot, I can throw straight and he taught me self defence," I say proudly.

"Thank you Mrs Grey, now if you could tell me where you were today between 2:30pm and 4pm?" she asks.

"Yes, I was at the courthouse with my husband and the prosecution team going over my evidence for the trial of Stephen Morton, Elena Lincoln and Damien Ellis who abducted me a while ago" I say.

I know immediately she already knows this but is just going through procedure, and she turns to Gideon and Eva.

"Miss Trammell, can you tell me where you were during these hours today?" Eva nods.

"Yes, I was with my boss Mark Garrity and several other people in a creative meeting at my place of work, which is Waters, Field and Leaman situated on the 20th floor of the Crossfire building," she says. The officer nods and turns to Gideon.

"Mr Cross?" she says looking at Gideon.

"I was at the Fairfield Hotel where I was overseeing improvements and restructuring I have implemented recently since acquiring the hotel," he says calmly.

"Yes, there was an incident there wasn't there?" the officer asks looking carefully at Gideon.

He nods, "Unfortunately yes, a small fire started in the kitchen which is being totally refurbished, it's set us back about a week, but nobody was hurt which is the main thing" he says.

"How did it start?" the officer asks.

Gideon sighs, "Well, according to the fire Chief I spoke to on site, some papers had been left on some tins of paint the paint had toppled over and the papers had fallen on to a heater, which had then caught fire, the fire chief seemed to think it was a complete accident".

The officer nods again and I am convinced she already knew all of this and was just checking Gideon's reaction and if his story matched what she knew".

"Thank you, I think that will be all for now," she smiles at us and thanks me for the water and then they are gone.

"What happens now?" I ask looking around the room.

"Nothing" Gideon replies.

**oooOOOooo**

Gideon was as good as his word, that a link wouldn't be found to connect us with Barkers death. A few days later the police returned with the news that a dead Russian with links to human trafficking had been found dead, and he had photographs of Eva on him which matched ones found in Barkers hotel room and also a bracelet which Barker owned which had belonged to his late mother and upon further investigation, the knife which had been used to kill Barker had been found hidden in his apartment with traces of Nathan's blood and the dead Russian's finger prints on it.

It was established that this particular man had been taken out by one of his own as the hit had been witnessed by CCTV cameras, and so as far as the police were concerned the case was closed. Eva was asked to identify the bracelet as Nathan's and asked if she recognised the man in a photograph, who was the dead Russian.

I am a little shocked by these developments, but by the look on Gideon's face so is he. It is clear he had no idea about this man. I wonder who helped Gideon handle this and put in place this elaborate hoax. I decide my best course of action is to just let it go.

I have more things to concern myself, namely the forthcoming trial. I am a witness as is Christian, Taylor, Sawyer, Gideon, Raul and Angus. We have all been coached in our evidence, and Christian has decided to take the step of outing Elena as his abuser when he was younger, I was shocked when he released this information and although he didn't go into detail the extent of the relationship, he said enough to make her sound like the filthy paedophile that she is.

The huge dossier of information which Christian and Gideon had compiled on Morton and Elena including all her aliases and the details of previous complaints made against her have all been taken into account. Some of these people have been traced and were willing to come forward and testify against her, despite the fact the statute of limitations had run out for many of them.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

_One week later..._

I am filled with fear and my stomach is roiling with the thought of what is going to happen today, Christian can sense my heightened emotional state and he is stoically at my side and hasn't moved from it since we arrived here. At this moment we are all in the courthouse and I am holding Christian's hand tightly. I say we, because we are surrounded by all the Grey's who have all flown out from Seattle to support us and much to my surprise so has my dad. I was so pleased to see him that I just broke down when he limped into the courthouse, leaning heavily on a walking stick when he arrived with Carrick and Grace.

"Daddy," I gasp and letting go of Christian's hand I run to him, he opens his arms and I run into them and sob uncontrollably on his shoulder as I cling to him.

"Annie, come on pull it together," he says gently.

I rub my eyes and sniff loudly, and when Ray pats my arm I smile weakly at him.

"You think I'd let my girl go through this alone?" he says smiling back at me.

As I pull away from him I feel everyone gather back around us and Christian once again is at my side and reaching for my hand.

"We are all here for you Ana," Grace says gently rubbing my back.

I turn and look around. Kate and Elliot, Mia, Carrick and Grace and my father are all smiling encouragingly at me. Then I feel Christian's arm go around me and he pulls me towards him.

"You are not alone baby," he whispers in my ear and then he kisses me, before burying his nose in hair and inhaling deeply.

I immediately take notice of this small seemingly insignificant gesture, as I have noticed Christian does this to calm himself and ground himself when he is feeling out of control. I'm not sure why, as when I asked him about it he'd simply said that he liked the smell of my shampoo. I know he is probably as worried about today as I am, but the difference is he isn't as transparent as me, he hides his emotions behind his impassive facade and it is only little gestures like that which belie how he is really feeling. Therefore as much as I know he is there for me today, I am determined to be there for him as well.

I watch him carefully as he turns towards Ray, holding his hand out in greeting to him.

"Hello Ray, it's good to see you again sir" he says.

Ray nods and accepts the handshake. "Hello son, how are you?" he asks.

"I'm very well thank you Ray, but I feel I should ask you the same question, how are you now?" Christian asks politely.

Ray smiles, "There's no need to worry about me son, I'm well on the mend, thanks to that rehab you sent me to" he says.

Christian beams at him, "That's good to know" he says warmly.

"Ana," I look up at my name being called and the familiar voice calling it, and I smile as I see Gideon striding swiftly towards us along with Eva, and they have Raul and Angus flanking them.

I grin and hug Eva tightly and I turn to Gideon who grasps my shoulders and kisses my cheek. He sees Ray and smiles.

"Hello Mr Steele it's good to see you again," he says warmly and holds out his hand to my dad.

"Hello again Gideon," my dad says.

"Ok, we are going to go in and take our seats," Grace says. She hugs me tightly and as everyone moves away to go into the courtroom, Elliot walks over to me and wraps me in his arms.

"You'll do fine," he whispers to me.

Kate hugs me fiercely and whispers good luck in my ear. Our lawyers appear and I take a deep breath as we also head into the court room. I feel myself start to tremble as I see Elena and Stephen sitting with their counsel and Christian immediately grips my hand tightly and encouragingly rubs my knuckles with his thumb.

"Just ignore them baby," he whispers to me and I nod.

After all the formalities are observed, things get underway quickly and first up are Taylor, Luke, Angus and Raul, who take it in turn to give their evidence. Taylor, Angus and Raul tell of their own experiences that day and how the events unfolded from their perspective, they also explain how they have researched Elena, since it became apparent that Gideon knew her as someone different and how they have found out all her other different aliases and details of other offences against her in various places in the country under those various pseudonyms, and it all comes out about her relationship with Morton and how they are Damien's parents. Taylor and Raul go on to tell of the information they have found on Morton, and how he has various complaints and convictions of sexual and physical abuse against him from various women, around the country.

Hearing Luke's evidence of that day and how he was hit with the taser is particularly hard for me to hear, but I listen with interest to the events afterwards from his perspective as he tells how they tracked me down, found me and rescued me.

After they have finished giving their evidence, I am the next one called to the stand, and as the prosecution lawyer calls me Mrs Grey, I hear Elena gasp.

She swings her head around and focuses on Christian, "Christian how could you?! You've married her you stupid fool, why did you marry her? Christian, she's not right for you!" she screams.

Christian goes ramrod stiff and he avoids all eye contact with her staring straight ahead with his trademark impassive look on his face.

The judge calls for silence and the defence lawyer quickly mutters something to Elena, she immediately calms down and shuts up, but she continues to glower at Christian.

I stand and give my evidence, reliving the events of that day, I am asked if I see the people involved and I point to Elena, Morton and Damien.

The prosecution barrister is kind and encourages me through the harrowing parts. He then asks me how I knew them all, and I tell of how Stephen Morton was married to my mother for a while and how he had repeatedly emotionally and physically abused me as a teenager and how when he had started making sexual advances towards me I had returned to Montesano to Ray. I explain that I had first met Elena when she had barged her way into my apartment and verbally abused me and it was Elliot who had been there and recognised her as his mothers friend Elena, which had given me some indication as to who she was; as Christian had spoken about her being a family friend, but then Gideon who was also present at that time had then identified her with a different name and I tell of how that had led on to the further investigation of Elena/Sybil by Christian and Gideon. Finally I tell the court how I had only known Damien a short time, since working for Cross Publishing and that he was a fellow editor.

The defence lawyer stands up and tries to pick holes in my testimony but I stick to the truth and I end up making him look very silly.

Christian is up next, and he strides confidently to the stand and starts to speak about his recollection of that day and how distraught he was at the news I had been taken.

He goes through the day from his perspective and recalls how he saw me tied to the chair with Morton on top of me and how he thought that he was raping me. He glances at me and I see the pain in his eyes as he relives it all.

Then comes the part which is hoped will make victory for us a foregone conclusion. The Prosecution stares at Christian for a moment and I see him steel himself for the question he knows is coming.

"Mr Grey, isn't it true you knew one of the accused in a professional and private way beforehand?"

Christian nods, "I did, the woman who I knew as Elena Lincoln. She was a family friend and I've known her since I was about 7 or 8 years old".

"Objection, not relevant" the defence pipes up immediately.

"Overruled," the judge replies.

"Can you point out the woman you knew as Mrs Lincoln for us, please?" Christian nods and points at Elena.

"Thank you Mr Grey, can you explain to the extent of the relationship between yourself and the accused.

I see Christian take a deep breath, he glances at me before he looks apologetically at Grace who smiles encouragingly at him and then he starts to speak, you could hear a pin drop as he talks as the room is hanging on his every word.

"I knew Mrs Lincoln through my mother, she was her friend and she came to visit my mother regularly and supported the causes my mother supported. When I was about 15 years old I went to work at her house to earn some extra pocket money. They'd had an extension built and it was my task to clear the debris. She approached me one day and she suddenly kissed me but then slapped my face and then she kissed me again, and then… she pushed her hand inside my shorts and grabbed my penis," he pauses as Grace gasps and as he hears her he looks straight at her and he looks uncomfortable as he knows this is hurting her to hear this.

"If you could continue Mr Grey," the lawyer gently prods.

Christian quickly composes himself and carries on, "As you can imagine, for a pubescent fifteen year old boy, it was like all my Christmases had come at once and after that first time, we started a sexual relationship. I was a troubled teen wracked with demons from my early pre-adoption life and as a result I was an angry young man, who was rapidly spiralling out of control. She used punishment and reward to control me and bring me into line and modify my behaviour. The punishments were beatings and the reward was sex. From my early experiences before I was adopted, I was under the impression that I wasn't worthy of love and affection and Elena confirmed this for me by her actions. She taught me that love was for fools and it was something I wholly believed, right up until quite recently when I met my wife and she showed me a different way".

He stops and smiles at me, there is a stunned silence in the court room and after a moment Christian continues.

"The sexual relationship ended when I was about 21 years old and her husband found out about us, but I still truly believed she had helped me and so I even retained her as a friend and confidant. We had a professional relationship where I invested in her business ventures, and we both profited financially from that arrangement. It wasn't until I met my wife that I realised how wrong the relationship had been between us and how she had used and manipulated me and had continued to manipulate and influence my life even when our sexual relationship had long since ended. It was only then, that I confessed to my family as to what Elena had done to me when I was a minor," he pauses and takes a drink of water and I watch him carefully.

He glances at me once more and then clears his throat to continue, "Elena became more erratic and jealous of my relationship with Ana, and now I see that she did her best to come between us. She advised me badly which resulted in our parting for a while. Thankfully though when I realised my error and pursued her to get her back, Ana reconsidered and forgave my behaviour and I managed to win her back, eventually. We discovered that Ana was expecting my child and Elena went into overdrive trying to split us up, culminating in the abduction. Ana was unharmed by Morton but she had a number of welts on her body from the ordeal where Elena had beaten her with a cane and unfortunately a short while later, she… she miscarried our child".

He stops and blinks rapidly as the memory of the miscarriage overwhelms him. He lowers his head and pinches the top of his nose. I so want to run to him and just hold him, the tears are pouring down my cheeks now. Ray reaches for me and grips my hand and Grace wraps her arm around me. We had decided to place the blame of the miscarriage on the stress caused by the abduction as it was only after that period that I had started getting pains. I was happy to go along with this as shifting the blame for what happened on to Elena and Stephen and using them as scapegoats for the loss is helping me come to terms with my own guilt of my actions during that time, even though it could be argued that is a cop out.

"Thank you Mr Grey, and let me offer my deepest condolences on your and Mrs Grey's loss," he pauses a moment to let Christian compose himself.

When Christian looks up again he has now resumed his CEO mask and the lawyer speaks again, "Now Mr Grey can you tell me once again the name you associate with the accused?" he asks.

Christian nods, "Elena Lincoln" he states clearly.

"Christian how could you? Don't do this to me; you can make this right, leave her. I did you a favour she has lost her spawn and it probably wasn't even yours, you can divorce her and we can start again, you need me Christian" Elena screeches him, but Christian just pointedly ignores her.

"Will you please be quiet, one more outburst and you will be held in contempt, Mr Saunders please control your client," the judge glares at the defence lawyer who whispers furiously into Elena's ear.

"Thank you Mr Grey no more questions" the prosecution lawyer sits down with a smug expression, in comparison the defence lawyer looks like someone pissed in his coffee as he stands briefly.

"No questions" he says sharply. "I'd like a ten minute recess to confer with my clients?" he adds.

"Denied," the judge states firmly. "Call the next witness" he adds.

The prosecution calls Gideon next and he takes the stand. He grips the rail and he looks to be in torment, I wonder what the problem is and I glance at Eva questioningly, but she just shrugs and I can see she is equally concerned about his demeanour.

Gideon proceeds to tell his version of the day in question and how he helped Christian find me and rescue me.

"Mr Cross do you have any prior knowledge of any of the defendants?" the lawyer asks.

Gideon nods, "Yes, Damien Ellis was an employee of mine at Cross Publishing in New York he was an editor and I also know Sybil Hanson," he stops and waits.

"Could you point out Sybil Hanson for the court please Mr Cross?" Gideon points at Elena. There is a round of murmuring at this.

"Let it be shown Mr Cross has pointed to the woman known by Mr Grey as Elena Lincoln. Mr Cross how do you know the accused?" I freeze wondering how Gideon will answer this, I see him grip the bar in front of him, he has gone deathly white and he takes a deep breath.

"She was an acquaintance of my rapist," he mutters and the gasps at that remark fill the courtroom. I look at Eva who looks completely astounded. She looks at me and I let her see just how amazed I am by what Gideon has just said.

"Mr Cross, I understand that this is very hard for you, but can you please repeat that?" the lawyer says gently.

"She was an acquaintance of my rapist," he replies louder.

"Could you elaborate on that Mr Cross?" the lawyer asks.

"Objection not relevant" the defence lawyer shouts.

"Overruled" the Judge replies.

Gideon nods; he takes a drink of water and I notice his hand is trembling; this is so hard for him. I stare at him in awe. He is going public about what he went through and he doing it for me and for everyone else who has been damaged by Morton and this woman, although she wasn't personally involved in what happened to him he is prepared to reveal his darkest secrets to help me get my justice. It could be argued it isn't relevant but I believe it is as it offers an insight into what circles she ran in and just how depraved her lifestyle was and still is. I continue to keep my eyes fixed on him and he looks at me briefly and I smile at him hoping I am conveying all the support I can muster into that smile. He smiles back at me, then he takes a quick glance at Eva who also gives him an encouraging look and he begins to speak.

"When I was a child, I was repeatedly sexually abused and raped by a health official sent to help me cope with my father's suicide, a few years later when I was in a position to do something about him, I researched him and discovered he was part of a paedophile ring here in New York and I put my resources into exposing and smashing it and I discovered that Sybil Hanson was also part of that paedophile ring, but she escaped justice due to links she had with the local BDSM community. I later discovered and I have evidence which I have submitted of how she blackmailed certain officials who participated in this lifestyle. She threatened that she would expose them unless they helped her escape justice. After it became clear that the woman I knew as Sybil Hanson was also the woman Christian knew as Elena Lincoln we pooled our resources and discovered how she had essentially moved around the country changing her identity every time her crimes were discovered and we also found out how she was linked to Stephen Morton who was Ana's former step father".

There is a stunned silence at this and I watch as Gideon waits for the next question.

"For the benefit of the court can you just repeat the name of the defendant by the name you knew her?" the lawyer asks.

Gideon nods, "Sybil Hanson" he says clearly.

The court is adjourned for a recess and as we leave, Gideon rushes past us into the bathroom with his hand clapped over his mouth, and Christian quickly follows him in. A few moments later they both emerge and Christian has his hand on Gideon's shoulder. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him tightly and for once Christian doesn't pull me away but lets me comfort Gideon.

"Thank you" I whisper to him.

He doesn't say a word but just holds me tightly, Eva walks over and I move away so she can embrace him, but she quickly pulls me back. I turn and grasp Christian's hand and pull him into the impromptu group hug.

**oooOOOooo**

When we all return to the courtroom the prosecution lawyer stands again; "I call Mr Damien Ellis" and the Elena looks like she is going to expire at this, she glares at Damien who looks suddenly afraid. Then we see Morton whisper something to him which the prosecution lawyer notices.

"Objection intimidation of a witness" he states.

"Sustained, please remove Mr Ellis from the presence of Mr Morton".

Damien takes the stand and he looks absolutely terrified. "Mr Ellis can you state how you know the other defendants and the victim" Damien's hands ball into fists and he is trembling severely but he swallows hard and then he nods.

"Helen Ellis is my mom and Stephen Morton is my dad, Ana Steele... I mean Ana Grey was an editor who was employed at Cross Publishing in New York, but she now works for Cross Publishing Washington in Seattle" Damien says pointing to each one of us in turn.

There are murmurs as he calls Elena, Helen Ellis but the lawyer continues with the questioning.

"Can you point out to the court who your mother, Helen Ellis is?" the lawyer asks and Damien nods and points to Elena.

"Can the record show that Mr Ellis pointed to the defendant known to Mr Grey as Elena Lincoln and Mr Cross as Sybil Hanson" the lawyer says. "If you could now point out your father to the court" he asks.

Damien points at Stephen Morton and then looks down at the floor; he is clearly absolutely terrified of both of them.

"Mr Ellis, can you explain to the court how you were treated by your parents?" Damien looks afraid and ashamed, he anxiously glances around and then he starts to fidget and doesn't answer.

"Can I remind you that you are under oath Mr Ellis," the prosecution lawyer states, he is firm but he is also speaking kindly to Damien.

Damien lifts his head slightly and looks at the lawyer, "They did things to me... bad things, my dad he hit me, he got drunk and took drugs and he hit me, my mom… she said she loved me, she said I was her special boy, she said if I was a good boy and made mommy happy I wouldn't need to be punished," he stops speaking and puts his head down again.

I feel Christian freeze beside me and I grip his hand and run my other hand down his arm reassuringly.

"What do you mean by the phrase, 'making mommy happy'?" the lawyer asks carefully.

Damien looks uncomfortable and he flushes, with his eyes glued on the ground he quietly speaks, "she made me fuck her, she sucked me off and she made me fuck her, but if I was bad she punished me, she would tie me up and beat me with the canes and whips, and if I was really bad… then she would get dad to fuck me and I didn't like that, because he hurt me and it made me bleed sometimes".

There are gasps at this and my heart immediately swells for this poor man, I don't hold any grudge against him for his part in my abduction as I realise he has been seriously damaged by these wicked people.

"Mr Ellis, when did these sexual activities start?" the lawyer asks gently.

"I'm not sure, as soon as I reached puberty I think, and I could you know..." he stops, looking embarrassed, "but from when I was really small I don't know about 7/8ish she used to... touch me and push things in my ass and my dad… fucked me" he adds.

I feel Christian go totally rigid and I know there and then that Elena must have pushed things in his ass too at some point.

"Mr Ellis, do you think this was normal for parents to behave this way towards their child?" the lawyer asks gently.

For the first time Damien looks up and he nods, "I thought so, but then I was taken away from them so I guess not," he says.

"My mom said she'd find me again and she did, a few years ago she found me and she wanted me to fuck her but I said no and she punished me, and said she never wanted to see me again, then a few months ago mom and dad came to me and said they were sorry, and they said that they needed my help, and that they needed me to get Ana and take her to them, they said she had upset them and she had done bad things. I believed them, but Ana seemed so nice when I met her, but I believed them. I'm so sorry Ana," Damien looks at me full of remorse and my heart breaks for him.

"Thank you Mr Ellis, no more questions," the lawyer says. There is now a mortified silence throughout the room.

Morton's face contorts with rage; "You fucking shit, you will regret this!" he storms.

"How could you do this to us?!" Elena screeches.

"Silence, enough, I will not tolerate this Mr Saunders I am holding both your clients in contempt of the court, please remove the defendants from the room" the judge demands. Everyone watches as Morton and Elena are dragged screaming from the room.

The judge adjourns the case for the day and we all stand and leave, the press are out in force after all the revelations and Kate steps forward flanked by Taylor and Elliot with a prepared statement. I smile at her, as she knows how to handle the press. They are crowded around her as she speaks, and the rest of us leave the courtroom and head to an office.

"Well I don't think that could have gone any better," Christian says in a satisfied tone.

The next day there is more of the same as other witnesses are called; I am surprised to see the people who Elena had abused under the different aliases give their evidence against her to give credence to our claims. More witnesses are also called, and they give information against Stephen Morton and detail his offences of his violence and predatory nature and I get the shock of my life when one of Stephen's victims is called. I nearly collapse when the lawyer stands and says the name "Carla Adams". I suck in a harsh breath and reach out blindly for Christian who immediately grasps my hand and holds me tightly.

We wait and the door opens and in she walks. I look at my dad who is sitting on my other side and he holds my free hand. She doesn't look at me or anyone around me and heads to the stand.

The lawyer does the formalities and then asks his first question, "Mrs Adams, can you explain in your own words, your relationship to the victim and the defendants".

My mother glances at Morton and to my horror she smiles at him.

"I am Carla Adams and I was married to Stephen Morton, and for a while I lived with him in Texas along with my daughter Anastasia," she stops and glances briefly at me as she says my name.

"Mrs Adams can you point out your daughter in the court room," my mother nods and waves her hand towards me, "Thank you, now can you point out Mr Morton," she turns and points to Morton, who glares at her menacingly.

"Thank you Mrs Adams, now if you could describe your marriage to Mr Morton and the relationship he had with your daughter," she nods and then begins to speak.

"I met Stephen Morton when I was married to Ray Steele, we lived in Montesano and I wasn't happy. I was bored and unfulfilled, I wanted more out of life and so when I met Stephen and he offered me the chance of a better life I jumped at it and took it. I left Ray and took my daughter and moved with Stephen to Texas. We hadn't been there long when Ana started acting up, saying she didn't like Stephen and wanted to go back to Ray, I thought she was just missing Ray and she would settle down but she started making allegations that he had been physically abusing her and touching her so I sent her back to Ray. It was after that he started hitting me. He had done so a few times previously when he got drunk and the final straw for me came when he came home one night and raped me," she stops and puts her head down.

"I knew then I had to get away. I was ashamed I had believed him and trusted him, he had hurt my daughter and he had hurt me. I left him and ran away to Vegas, where I met Bob Adams and he helped me get a divorce and we got together and married.

She stops and for the first time she turns her head and looks properly at me. Her words are circling around my head, and I realise what she has said was innocuous enough but knowing my mother as I do I realise that what she was saying was that she didn't believe me and she chose him over me only to find out afterwards what he was really like when he showed her his true colours.

"Thank you Mrs Adams," the lawyer says and sits down.

The defence don't question her and the defence lawyer looks a little shell shocked by everything that has been said, they were obviously aware of the level of evidence stacked against Elena and Stephen as our lawyers had to share it with them but he clearly wasn't expecting any of this.

When the case is concluded we leave the courtroom and we go into the little side office once again.

"Are you alright baby?" Christian asks me anxiously for about the thirtieth time.

He knows how much of a shock it was to see my mother here. He has explained to me that he didn't tell me about Carla giving evidence because Carla had been a damn nuisance and had been kicking off and had spent a number of weeks pointedly refusing to come and so right up to the last minute nobody was certain she would even turn up to give evidence and if that would be the outcome then Christian thought there was no point in upsetting me for no reason and getting me worked up about the prospect of seeing my mother if it didn't happen and I can understand his reasoning.

I nod, "Is my mother still here?" I ask.

Christian nods and Grace wraps her arm around me, "Ray and Cary have gone to find her" she says.

I nod and a moment later the door opens and she walks in with Carrick and Ray. She stands and stares at me without a word, almost as if she is looking at a stranger rather than her own daughter. Grace leaves my side and squeezes my arm, then pulling on Christian's arm she pulls him away. He is clearly reluctant to leave me at first but after a bit of persuasion from Grace and my assurances that I will be fine, he moves away. Everyone melts away leaving me and my mother alone.

"Thank you for testifying," I say quietly.

My mother shrugs and doesn't say a word. I look at her, really look at her.

"Why did you smile at Morton when you first took the stand?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Well he is still a good looking man, despite his faults," she says.

I can't believe she said that, she was flirting with a man who raped her and who tried to rape me, my mouth drops open and I stare at her.

This seems to aggravate her somewhat and she frowns at me and holds up her hand, "Look Ana I have done my bit, I didn't even want to come here today and until you apologise to me for what you said the last time we talked, I don't think we have anything else to say to each other".

"Me? Apologise?" I ask incredulously.

Carla nods emphatically "You told me to go to hell Ana" she says.

I feel my anger rising considerably at her haughty tone and complete lack of ownership or remorse for what she did. I fix her with a steady gaze and speak slowly and clearly so she cannot misunderstand me.

"Carla, you harassed my friends, you told lies about my husband, and you told me that you want me to leave my husband, what part of that should I apologise for?" I ask.

"Stop calling me Carla, I'm your mother," she says and she actually stamps her foot.

"Well then maybe you should start acting like one, then you will deserve the title." I spit.

"I'm not standing here to take this, you have changed Ana. Since you got with… with… _that man_, nobody else matters to you. He's not right for you Ana, and can't you see he is controlling you? And after what came out yesterday about his… issues, I fear for you".

I stare at her unable to say a word but when my brain finally catches up I am unable to do anything as the door flies open. It is clear everyone has been listening outside as Ray and Carrick barge in, I see Elliot and Gideon holding back Christian and when Ray reaches Carla I can see he is livid. He grabs her by the arm.

"Enough, you have done your part now leave, and don't bother my daughter ever again" Ray says.

Carrick leads Carla away and as soon as she is gone, I fall into Ray's arms sobbing.

Christian shakes himself free of Gideon and Elliot and runs towards me.

"Ana, baby come here" he says desperately.

I see the fear in his eyes, and the anguished tone of his voice, he is scared I may have listened to what Carla said. When he reaches me he hauls me into his arms and holds me against him almost too tightly.

"Baby I love you, I know I have issues from my past but please don't leave me," he whispers quietly in my ear.

I shake my head and hold him to me, at this moment I truly hate my mother. She has made Christian doubt my love for him and brought out all his insecurities and self loathing when we had been making such progress.

"Oh Christian it's not going to happen, now please just hold me, I love you" I moan as I wrap my arms around him and grip his suit jacket. I feel him instantly relax as he hears those words but he still clings to me.

"It's ok baby, it's ok I'm here," he murmurs in my ear.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day and it is the defence lawyers turn to present their case. But when we arrive at the court we are ushered into a small room, where our lawyer and Carrick are waiting.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, we have received a re-evaluated plea bargain request from the defence team, in light of everything that has come out in the last two days and the extent of the evidence against them, they want the charge of attempted rape dropped against Morton, and the charges of physical abuse by Mrs Lincoln dropped, in return they are willing to plead guilty to the charge of abduction.

I shake my head vigorously, "No way, that man nearly raped me and if Gideon and Christian hadn't arrived when they did he would have managed it and don't forget I was pregnant at that time, so no way, and that woman hit me across my stomach with a cane. No, I am prepared to take the stand again" I say sharply.

I bang my hand on the table for emphasis, then I turn and look at Christian and I see the pride in his eyes as he nods in agreement.

"You heard my wife" he says simply, the lawyer nods and leaves the room and when he returns we head out to the court room. Since Gideon and Christian's revelations the previous day the court is packed with press and hundreds more are camped outside.

"Fucking parasites," Christian mutters as we make our way past them.

The defence start with their rebuttal of our case by unusually recalling Gideon and Christian to the stand, we are not sure what this achieved as when Christian and Gideon are both questioned, they confidently and calmly tie the defence lawyer up in knots.

The defence lawyer avoids all of the evidence that has been gathered by the security teams and Christian and Gideon's pasts, relying on trying to pull apart their recollection and evidence of the day I was taken, but in the end he only succeeds in making his clients appear guiltier.

I am not re-called, but then he tries the same thing with the security team, and they are cross examined, being ex military Taylor and Sawyer are calm and just keep repeating the events of the day as they witnessed them, despite the lawyer's desperate attempts to try and twist what they are saying. Raul and Angus are the same, I am not sure of their backgrounds but they speak well and refuse to be intimidated. The final nail in the coffin is when Morton and Elena take the stand, they really don't help themselves much, as when they take the stand they just squander their chance to put their side across by ranting and bawling and hurling insults at Christian and I. After several warnings the judge has them in contempt of court again and they are lead away.

The summing up is quick and our lawyer puts the case well. He also makes it clear that Damien was as much a victim as us and I'm glad he did, although he had agreed to give evidence against Elena and Morton, in return for a reduced sentence he is still up for a charge of accessory to the kidnapping, which could see him jailed. I am hoping that the jury see that he has been damaged by these evil people and I get my chance to state this in my witness statement. I stand and read a carefully prepared speech I wrote last night.

"I was a child when I first met and was abused by Stephen Morton. My husband was a child when he was abused by Elena Lincoln or whatever name she chooses to use. These two people are evil and the fact that they had a child together and damaged that child as severely as they did show's how they have no concept of decent and respectable human behaviour. I was abducted, whipped and restrained and I came terrifyingly close to being raped, I was afraid and I feared for the life of my unborn child. I survived, unfortunately my child didn't. I hold those two responsible for the miscarriage I suffered, as I should never have been subjected to that level of stress and abuse. However, despite the role he played I do not hold any grudge against Damien Ellis, as I believe he is as much a victim as I am. I hope that those people who have escaped justice for so long for their depraved behaviour finally get the punishment that they deserve and that for not only me, but for all their previous victims including their own son, justice is finally served." I sit down and Christian wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me.

The jury is out for only half an hour before we are all called back in.

Elena and Morton are found guilty of abduction, Elena is found guilty of physical abuse and Morton is found guilty of sexual abuse and attempted rape. Damien was facing the lesser charge of accessory to the abduction and I was pleased that he was found not guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility, as he had suffered enough.

I grip Christian's arm as I watch Elena and Stephen being led away.

"Christian help him please," I whisper as Damien just stands there looking lost.

Christian nods and glances at Gideon who also nods and walks over to Damien, he immediately looks afraid and backs away from them.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he mutters.

Gideon reaches out to him, "Relax Damien we want to help you, you have been treated appallingly by people who should have protected you, and we want to help you".

Damien nods glancing anxiously between Christian and Gideon.

"Damien, I am going to give you your job back at Cross Publishing on the condition you never have any contact with your parents again," Gideon says.

Damien nods as Gideon continues, "I am transferring you to the Seattle office and we will help you relocate and find an apartment in Seattle".

Damien looks surprised and goes to question why but Gideon continues, "Our reason for this is because Christian is going to put you in contact with Dr John Flynn, who specialises in helping people and we are going to pay for whatever care you need, for as long as you need it".

Damien looks stunned, "Why are you being so nice to me after what I did?" he asks.

"Because none of it was your fault, you were manipulated and used by them to do their bidding," Christian says.

"I don't know how to thank you" Damien says clearly overwhelmed.

We head back to our apartment and pack. I am not afraid to admit I am happy to be going home to Seattle. We are travelling back on Christian's jet with the rest of the Grey's, Ray, Taylor and Sawyer. I lift the precious urn containing our son's ashes off the shelf and gently place it into a bag.

Gideon comes to the airport with Eva to see us off.

"Well, we will see you soon," Gideon says as he hugs us both warmly.

Eva wraps her arms around Christian's waist and reaches up to kiss him on the cheek. I am happy to note he doesn't flinch when she does this.

"Gideon says we will be flying out to Seattle in a few weeks or so," she says.

We all board the plane and take our seats; I close my eyes happy to be finally going home.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

"Baby, wake up, we are back in Seattle" Christian is gently shaking me. I open my eyes and everyone is grinning at me, as apparently I have slept the entire journey away in my seat.

I sit up and stretch and I glance out of the window to see a drizzly Sea Tac and I have never been so pleased to see rainy Seattle in my entire life.

The next day I am sitting sprawled out on the sofa in the great room at Escala, revelling in just being here, back at home. It's raining again outside but I don't care as I don't plan on going anywhere or doing anything today.

"It's just so good to be home," I say as Christian comes and sits beside me.

I glance at him and I can see he is excited about something.

"What is it?" I ask.

He takes my hand, gripping it tightly and then he lifts it and places a small kiss on my knuckles.

I look at him carefully, I tell that he wants to say something, so I remain silent and wait for him to say whatever it is he wants tell me.

"Baby, I know you wanted to just stay here and relax today and do nothing, but I really want to take you somewhere. I have something I want to share with you and get your opinion on then I promise that you can rest when we get back," he says.

I look at him and I just can't say no to him, not when I see the excitement that is practically oozing from him.

I sigh a little, but nod my head, "Ok" I say and I go to pull myself up.

Christian immediately jumps up and grinning like a loon he yanks me to my feet and the next thing I know we are in the elevator with Luke.

"Where's Taylor?" I ask, then I glance at Luke, "Not, that it's not lovely to have you accompany us, Luke" I add quickly and I see Luke try and stifle his amusement at my comment.

Christian glances down at me, "I've given him the day off, so he can spend some quality time with Gail" he says.

When we reach the garage, Christian leads me to the R8 and opens the door for me while Luke climbs into the SUV and I can't help but wonder where we are going. We roar out of the underground car park and into the daylight. I note that the rain has stopped as we leave the city of Seattle behind and head north. I am watching as we end up in a populated area, where there are some seriously large houses. I don't say anything as Christian pulls up outside a house and taps in a code at the gate, the gates open and we drive in. I look around at the grounds, there is a wildness to them as if they haven't been tended to in a while, but it's so peaceful and beautiful here and then I see this gorgeous house looming up in front of me. It needs attention, like the grounds as it looks as though it has been neglected for years but I can also see it has a beauty and character all of its own.

Christian stops the car and turns to me, he is clearly excited about this, but I sense something else coming from him… anxiety, he's worried, why?

"Please keep an open mind about this ok?" he says quietly and I nod my head, wondering what all this is about.

Christian plants a small kiss on my cheek and smiles broadly at me and then jumps out of the car, swiftly coming around to me, he opens my door and helps me out.

"Come with me," he says and he grasps my hand and leads me to the front door, where much to my surprise, he just opens it and lets himself in.

I gasp in shock, until I notice the house is completely empty.

He leads me out towards the back of the house and we reach a huge room with massive windows which looks out towards a beach and the sound beyond another expanse of overgrown garden. I stop and look where he is pointing and I just freeze as all the air seems to leave my body as I take in the most stunningly breathtaking view I have ever seen. To me, it looks even more spectacular today than it would do on a sunny calm day, with the overcast sky with dark brooding clouds and as I take it all in, I see the water of the sound is unsettled, with waves moving rhythmically along the surface. I don't say a word, my mouth is slack and just I stare stupidly it at, as it is absolutely spectacular.

"What do you think? Do you like it?" Christian asks me anxiously.

"It's unbelievable, it's gorgeous," I stammer. It's all I can manage to say, I don't look at Christian as I say it, as I am not able to tear my eyes away from the view in front of me.

"Would you like to look at that view every day, for the rest of your life?" he asks me carefully.

Now, that gets my attention, and I spin around and stare at him with my mouth still hanging wide open.

"You've bought this house?" I ask him, as my brain catches up and I put two and two together at what he has just said.

He shakes his head at me, "Not yet, but if you like it I will," he says.

Oh my god he is looking at buying us a real family home. I look around and although the house is in dire need of attention, I can really see me living here.

"Can we look around?" I ask.

He nods and then out of nowhere a small thin immaculately groomed woman with an elaborate blonde hairstyle, overdone make up and far too much perfume appears.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey welcome," she says extending her hand to us. I realise immediately that she is the realtor.

She shows us around the house, gushing about its potential and I know that she is keen to get Christian onside, as a house this size would be a huge commission for her. She totally ignores me and I smile inwardly, as I know that if I say no, no matter how much she schmooze's Christian, he won't buy it.

I watch as Christian ignores her and starts explaining to me how he wants to demolish the house and build something new and self sustaining on the site. I feel sad at this thought, as this house although shabby has character.

I slip my hand into his, "Can't we keep this house and make it more self sustaining? I really like this house," I say firmly.

"Really?" Christian says in surprise, he thinks for a moment and looks around, "I suppose… I'd have to speak to Elliot and see what he says, he's the expert," he says almost to himself and then he looks at me again "So what do you think, it's your call baby?" he says.

This gets the realtors attention and she flushes slightly as she realises she has been selling to the wrong person. She is almost holding her breath now, wondering if her error has cost her a sale. I wickedly let her sweat for a moment longer as I make a point of looking around once more.

"So if I say yes, you are going to buy it?" I ask.

Christian smiles at me and the love in his eyes tells me all I need to know and I watch the realtor's eyes dart from me to Christian and back again.

I decide to put her out of her misery and I nod my head, "I love it, I can really see myself living here, it has a lovely atmosphere and it feels like home," I say.

Christian turns to the realtor, "you can close the sale," he says firmly.

She almost sags with relief at that and she beams at both of us, and then she gets on the phone to finalise the details.

I wander around the house again, it is no exaggeration that I can really visualise living here. It is huge and never in a million years did I ever think I would ever live in a house anything like this, but despite its size it has a lovely intimate warm atmosphere. I go into the hallway and I can visualise a huge Christmas tree with lights and decorations, which grabs your eye as soon as you walk in the door. I go upstairs and I know immediately which room I want to be ours and see in my mind's eye exactly how I want it to look, I look at the other bedrooms... children? I quickly put that thought out of my head for now, I feel at home here. We head outside next and I take in the beautiful meadow, Christian joins me, he is watching me carefully.

"I want to keep this meadow just like this, it's beautiful," I say firmly.

He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, "Whatever you want, it's yours" he says.

I walk around a corner and see some stables and outbuildings. "Christian, could these be converted into a proper home for Taylor and Gail? That way Sophie would have somewhere to stay and she could visit Taylor more often," I say pointing at them and Christian looks and he nods thoughtfully.

I go a bit further and see some more outbuildings, and I point at those my mind making plans.

"These could be converted into a security office and quarters for Luke, so he has more privacy than what he gets now when he is on duty at Escala," I say, and Christian smiles at me. I am really getting into this now and I am planning and seeing this empty shell as a finished home for us all.

I run around the front of the house, and I see the overgrown and wild gardens as a beautiful yet natural area. Then we head down the path through the meadow towards the sound. I stop dead and gasp as I see the beach, the view is stunning and I visualise everyone here having a barbeque on the beach, I turn to Christian my eyes shining.

"Is this beach private? Is it just for us?" I ask and Christian nods.

"All ours, baby" he says.

I take it all in, "This is going to be our home and I can see it all now, I can see how it will be" I say, and as I look at the beach I think of our son and I grasp Christian's hand tightly.

"I think I have found the perfect place to scatter our sons ashes" I say carefully and gesture around me, Christian looks and nods.

"It's perfect" he says quietly.

I lean up and press a kiss to his lips and I watch as his face breaks into a huge grin, and he sweeps me up into his arms and spins me around before kissing me soundly.

A discreet cough disturbs us, "Erm excuse me Sir, Mrs Grey" we turn and see Luke looking apologetically at us.

"Yes" Christian snaps, clearly irritated that this moment has been disturbed.

"Erm, Sir we have a situation at Escala. It appears Mrs Adams has turned up and is demanding to speak to Mrs Grey, and she has caused quite a scene. Taylor has informed her that you are not in and she is accusing him of trying to keep her away from her daughter".

Luke looks apologetically at me and I feel my anger rising, I reach into my pocket only to realise I have left my phone at home. So I turn to Christian, my hand outstretched.

"Give me your phone please" I say firmly.

Christian immediately fishes it out of his jeans pocket and hands it to me, I scroll through his contacts and call my mother's cell phone and wait.

"What do you want? Have your goon squad reported to you already? You can't keep me from my daughter you know, stop being a damn coward and come down from your ivory tower and speak to me face to face" comes the rude greeting. I realise she thinks it's Christian, but this only makes me angrier.

"What do _you_ want Carla?" I snap, unable to keep my tone civil.

There is a deathly silence, and then my mother speaks again, "Ana is that you?" she says in a calmer tone.

"Yes it is, and yes the respected highly trained security team who work tirelessly and risk their own safety to keep us safe have informed us of your presence, and nobody is keeping you from me, we are _not_ at home we are out and will be for the day, so I will ask again, what do you want?" I say.

"I just want to talk to you Ana, I want to make things right between us," she says.

I snort derisively "Well accusing my husband of keeping me from you and calling him a coward is _not_ going to make me want to speak to you. The way you spoke to me when you thought it was Christian was disgusting. He is my husband and he deserves to be spoken to with courtesy and respect, he has done nothing to you other than be generous and kind, and referring to our hard working security team as the goon squad has done nothing but severely piss me off " I say angrily.

I am on a roll now, and my free hand is wildly pointing as though she is standing in front of me.

"Ana please, I just want to speak to you," she says again.

"Carla, I have just told you that we are out for the day, what part of that do you not understand? We are not at home; we are not even in Seattle. We were not expecting you and we had plans. I suggest you go and book yourself into a motel if you are serious about wanting to see me. I am back at work tomorrow, and although I will be busy after being away for so long I will try and find some time during my lunch break to see you" I say and then I hang up before she can answer.

I hand Christian his phone back and he smirks at me as he takes it. I glance at Luke and see he is hiding his amusement behind his hand.

Christian wraps his arm around me and presses a small kiss to my neck, "Baby, have you any idea how much you turn me on when you act all feisty?" Christian whispers in my ear.

I glance down and see the evidence of his arousal, straining against the zip of his jeans.

"Come on, let's go home then," I say.

On the drive back, Christian suddenly removes his hand from the steering wheel and grasps my hand as we are driving along. I wonder why and I look at him carefully and once again I can see he wants to say something, so I wait for him to speak.

"Thank you for defending me baby," he says quietly after a moment.

"You're welcome" I reply, I don't say anything else but I wonder where this is heading.

I feel him grip my hand a little tighter, "It... It made me feel... cherished," he adds after another momentary pause.

My heart lurches at that and I turn and face him, "that's because you are" I say. I stroke his arm, "I protect what is mine" I say carefully, his head whips to mine and then he gives me his shy smile".

"Eyes on the road baby," I say, nodding towards the windscreen and using the same words he says to me when he is criticising my driving skills.

"Yes dear," he replies with a grin.

As we get closer to Escala, I call Taylor on Christian's phone, "Hi Jason, it's me Ana" I say when he answers.

"Mrs Grey, what can I do for you?" he says.

"I'm sorry about my mother, has she gone?" I ask.

"Yes Mrs Grey, she left after you hung up on her, and she asked me to inform you she would be staying at the motel at Sea Tac and she called a cab and went," Taylor replies.

"Thank you, and I'm really sorry you had to handle that on your day off," I say.

"All part of the job Mrs Grey," he replies stoically.

"Well it shouldn't be," I say firmly.

As I hang up, Christian's phone buzzes in my hand and I see it is Gideon, "Gideon is calling, shall I answer?" I say.

Christian nods, "Put it on speaker baby," he says, nodding towards the cradle on the dash in front of us.

I do as he asks and Christian speaks "Gideon, how are you, you are on speakerphone, and Ana is with me".

"Hi Gideon" I call.

"Hi guys, he says, I frown as his tone seems agitated "I have discovered who posted bail for Barker," he says.

"Really, who?" Christian asks.

"It was Corrine," he says shortly. I can tell by the tone of his voice this has upset him, but I have no idea who Corrine is; I look questioningly at Christian and he shrugs, clearly as confused as I am.

"Gideon, who is Corrine?" I ask carefully.

I hear a derisive snort on the other end of the phone, "Corrine is my ex fiancée, she turned up in New York while you guys were on honeymoon after her marriage broke down and she has been hounding me ever since, trying to get to see me and talk to me. I won't take her calls and have refused to see her, not because I was avoiding her but because I was just too damn busy to bother with someone from my past, what with the trial and everything, but she has been persistent, and with hindsight I believe now maybe I should have talked to her".

I roll my eyes at that, sometimes I really wonder both Gideon and Christian are such clever men and yet so blatantly clueless at the same time.

I return my attention back to Gideon who is still talking, "She broke off our engagement and married and went to live in France, the marriage has fallen apart and she has returned to the States I have no idea how she got involved with Barker, but she crossed a line by posting bail for him," he says.

I snort rudely, "It sounds like she is jealous of Eva and wants you back Gideon," I say as I state the obvious as I see it.

I hear a sharp intake of breath at that, it is clear he had never considered that.

"But I don't love her, I never loved her, when she asked me to marry her I said yes, but regretted it as soon as I'd done it. She knew nothing about me, she never even spent a full night with me and after a few months of me making excuses she broke off the engagement and went off with Giroux and married him. I didn't give her another thought, I assumed she was happy and I had been reprieved, I'm so confused now, I don't know what to think," he says.

Christian looks equally out of his depth, yet I can see exactly what has happened.

I sigh and try to explain so he will understand, "Gideon, it is obvious what has happened, she called off the engagement and went off with this other guy to try and make you jealous, so you would fight for her, but it backfired quite spectacularly on her because you didn't and you just let her go, so she had nowhere to go but go through with the marriage which then inevitably fell apart, because she married him for all the wrong reasons. Now it has fallen apart and she is a free agent again she has come back, hoping to pick up where you left off, my guess is she isn't aware of who Barker really was and what he was really like, plus he probably spun her some sob story about wanting Eva back or something and she decided to help him in the hopes it would bring you back to her".

I stop and now there is complete silence on the line.

"But that is so manipulative," he says quietly with a distinct tone of disgust in his voice.

"Love makes you do crazy things Gideon," I say, then a sudden thought occurs to me, "Does Eva know about Corrine?" I ask.

"Good god no," he replies, he seems almost surprised that I am even asking such a thing.

I shake my head again, he really is clueless. "Well then Gideon, I'm telling you now, you really need to sit down with her and tell her and explain everything, because she won't thank you for keeping her in the dark, especially on something like this" I say firmly and I look at Christian as I say this and he smirks at me.

"Ok, I'll make a point of talking to her tonight, on a lighter note I have bought a home in Seattle today, a penthouse apartment in a block not too far from Escala. I have sent a team out to get it ready for us and we are flying out next weekend to check out what they have done," he says.

"That's wonderful news; you're not the only one, as Christian has bought us a house on the coast. It's beautiful we have been there today, when you are in town we will take you there and show you," I say excitedly.

"Sound like a plan, thanks guys and thank you Ana for your female wisdom, I will talk to Eva tonight," and with that he hangs up.

We pull into the car park at Escala and Christian grabs his phone as we exit the car. I see Luke pull up into the space beside the R8 and we head to the elevator, Taylor is waiting for us when the doors open.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Mrs Adams has called and informed me that it doesn't matter anymore about meeting up tomorrow, as she is on her way back to Georgia as we speak".

I look confused, and Taylor looks uncomfortable. "After some investigation, it would appear that Mrs Adams was only looking to build bridges because she had nowhere else to go, as it appears she has left Bob Adams, but since your call to her, she got in contact with Mr Adams and he has agreed to take her back, so she left the motel and caught a flight to Georgia, I'm sorry Ana, she has gone".

I don't know why I feel so gutted about this, I feel used, she didn't want to make amends at all, she was just using me, she wanted somewhere to stay. I fold my arms around myself, I see Gail watching from a distance and as I look at her she instinctively walks towards me and holds open her arms, I walk into them and sob on her shoulder, then after a few moments I pull away.

"I'm sorry Gail" I say quietly.

"Don't you dare apologise Mrs Grey" she says firmly. "I'm sorry for speaking out of line but she doesn't deserve you as a daughter, she really doesn't, I have never met such a..."

"That's enough Gail," Taylor snaps glaring at her, "I'm sorry sir, Mrs Grey" he adds.

I hold up my hand and shake my head, "No Jason" I say, "What did she say to you Gail; she obviously upset you, I want to know?"

I look at Gail and she goes red and glances at Jason and then at Christian.

"It doesn't matter Mrs Grey," she says eventually.

"Yes it does," I say firmly, if she was rude to you I want to know," I say.

"Mrs Grey, she wasn't rude to me but she was rude to Jason and it made me angry how she spoke to him and how she spoke about Mr Grey," she says.

"What did she say?" I ask again.

Taylor sighs and rubs his eyes.

"I got word from the front desk security that she was asking to be admitted so I went down to her, Gail was just coming in and witnessed the erm… scene she caused down in the lobby. I informed her that you and Mr Grey were out for the day, and she said 'I don't believe you, he has sent you down to stop me from seeing my daughter'. I tried to reason with her saying that she needed to leave, and she said that I was not going to push her about, and that she wanted to speak to the organ grinder not his monkey and then she demanded that you came down or she would come up. I told her again that you were not at home, and she told me that I was a fucking asswipe just like my boss, while this was going on Gail called Luke and told him what was happening. Mrs Adams saw her and accused her of calling the cops on her, she didn't realise who Gail was and she said that if she was going to call the cops she should tell them that Christian Grey is holding her daughter hostage and keeping her from her family. Gail walked away and returned to the apartment at that point, she shouted after her saying that she hoped she had a conscience and would do something about her neighbour. She turned back to me and I was just texting Luke, and she went ballistic assuming I was texting Mr Grey and that he was upstairs. Then her phone rang and it was Mrs Grey, I don't know what you said to her but when you hung up on her she screamed at the phone, that you were no daughter of hers and she turned herself around and left. She said she was staying at the motel at Sea Tac as she was walking away, I followed her out of the building and I heard her calling Mr Adams and asking if she could come home, a short while later she called me saying she no longer wanted to talk with you and she was returning to Georgia".

Taylor stops and looks at me uncertainly.

I trust Taylor and I know that he is speaking the truth, I swallow hard and I look at Christian without a word.

"Come here baby," Christian says gently and pulls me towards him, he rocks me silently in his arms as I cling to him and fresh tears fall.

I can't believe my mother caused such a scene. It has left me resolved not to have anything to do with her again.

When I eventually pull away from Christian, I turn and discover both Gail and Taylor have gone and we are alone.

"I need to talk to Jason," I say to Christian, he nods at me and takes my hand, as I walk towards the security office. When I knock and push open the door Taylor stands immediately. I turn to Christian.

"I'd like to talk to Jason alone please," I say.

Christian hesitates and then nods and leaves us alone, I take a seat on a leather chair and Jason comes to sit beside me.

"Jason, I am really sorry she spoke to you like that, it was totally unforgivable. Can you do something for me, can you make sure she is blocked from contacting me again. I don't want anything more to do with her, she has crossed lines so many times and I have forgiven her so many times, but this is the end, I've had it with her".

"No problem Mrs Grey, but excuse me for saying this, but this could make her worse, and she already believes that Mr Grey is trying to keep you from her, if you were to block her that would validate those assumptions, and it cause her to do something more public," he looks at me sympathetically.

"What do you suggest I do then?" I ask.

"Leave things alone, we will keep a discreet eye on her in case she does something stupid like talk to the media, but I suggest that you are available for her to speak to should she get in contact then she can't accuse anyone of anything," he says.

I snort, "I'm sure she will think of something," I say sarcastically.

I think about that for a moment and I can't fault it as it is sound advice, "Ok thank you Jason and I am really sorry" I add.

"No problem at all Mrs Grey" he says kindly, and as I stand up he stands and shows me out.

I go in search of Christian and find him in the Great Room on the phone, he is lounging on the sofa his bare feet propped up on the small table in front of him, and from the conversation he is having, it is obvious he is talking to Elliot. He is relaying my ideas for the house and arranging to meet him there to discuss what can be done, and for him to get his opinion. I listen in to the one sided conversation.

"Ana just wants the place smartening up, she likes it as it is, so it shouldn't take too long, as there won't be any major renovations... that's great... so come and meet me for lunch tomorrow at Grey House and we will head over... yes... thanks El, bye".

He hangs up and turns to me, "I'm taking Elliot to the house tomorrow for him to have a look at what needs to be done, will you come with us?" he asks.

I nod enthusiastically.

The next day I am back at work and it doesn't feel like I have been away at all, let alone for the amount of time I have been away for. I have slipped back into work and I am eager to prove I am not a dead weight. I arrived early to get a head start and plough through several manuscripts and by 10am I am astonished with my progress and more than a little impressed with myself at what I have accomplished.

When the other editors arrived we had a meeting to bring everything up to date and to bring me up to speed on what I had missed. Damien was looking a little uncomfortable during this meeting as everyone was staring at him. Gideon joined us on video conference from New York, and he laid down the law as to what he expected of his employees attitude and reception of Damien and myself. When the meeting was complete Gideon asked for me to remain when he dismissed everyone.

"Has everyone gone?" he asks a few moments later.

I glance around, and nod, "yes I'm alone, why, what's up?" I ask.

"Ana I need your advice, I want to propose to Eva," I squeal in delight and my hands fly to my mouth. I smile widely at Gideon and he returns that smile with a shy one so similar to Christians.

"I want it to be simple and perfect, but I want it to be us. We both love beaches we both have good memories of beaches, and I want you and Christian there to help us celebrate, you two know us better than anyone else and vice versa we have been through so much together, so I want you there for something wonderful, so I know this is a possibly a stupid question but are there any suitable beaches or anywhere similar in Seattle, as I was planning to propose when we come over at the weekend.

My mind immediately goes to the beach at the bottom of our garden at the new house, and I enthusiastically describe the private beach we have at the new house, and how I had imagined having barbeques here with all our family and friends as soon as I saw it. I am also delighted as it would make the weekend perfect as it is my birthday on Saturday, I was hoping that with Gideon and Eva coming to visit we could do something together to celebrate, but this is far, far better.

"That sounds perfect, would you guys help me?" he asks.

"Of course we will, I am going to the house today with Christian, to meet Elliot at lunchtime to go through the renovations we want, I'll get Christian to call you and we will head to the beach while we are there and if you can see it for yourself, if you Facetime us".

"That's a brilliant idea, thank you Ana" he says.

"No problem, look I have to get on, I don't want my ass fired," I say with a grin.

He laughs, "Never" he replies, "Ok thanks Ana, I'll talk to you both later," and with that the screen goes black.

I head back to my office and return to my work, I have hardly got started when there is a quiet knock.

"Come in," I call, pausing what I am doing.

I see Damien hesitating in the doorway and Luke standing behind him.

"What's wrong?" I ask, trying to fight the sudden surge of panic that has coursed through me.

"Ana I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to say how sorry I am and how grateful I am to Mr Grey and Mr Cross for giving me this opportunity to make amends. I don't want there to be any bad feeling between us, what I did was unforgivable but they had some kind of hold on me," he stops and shakes his head.

I stand and walk towards him "Damien, they are your parents, of course they have a hold on you, you need to believe your parents have your best interests at heart, and when they don't it's a terrible betrayal, but realising that and letting them go is the healthiest thing you can do. You need to forgive them, as they have their own demons which have caused them to act the way they have, forgive them but make sure they never get the chance to hurt you again".

I think about what I have just said, that applies to Christian and his birth mother, my relationship with Carla and Gideon's with his mother to some extent. I sigh and walk closer and hug him, he wraps his arms around me and sobs on my shoulder.

"I am so sorry Ana, you are the nicest person I have ever met," he says between his sobs.

"Come on, lets get on with our work," I say, gently pushing myself away from him.

He nods and leaves, leaving Luke staring at me. "You are a very wise woman Mrs Grey, but I won't mention that hug to Mr Grey," he says, before turning and taking up his post outside my office.

I am finishing off some notes and putting together the pile of manuscripts ready for filing when my office door opens, and Christian stands there beaming at me.

"Hi" he says quietly.

"Hi" I reply as I glance at my watch.

"Are you ready baby?" he asks.

"I am, just give me one moment," I say as I finish what I am doing.

I throw a manuscript on the pile and then I stand up. "There done, oh by the way I spoke to Gideon this morning, he wants to propose to Eva while they are in Seattle at the weekend, and apparently they both have a thing about beaches, so he asked me if there was anywhere around here and I immediately thought of the beach at our new house, so he is going to Facetime us while we are there, so he can see it".

Christian nods, "Ok, well its about time, he has been going on for weeks about how Eva is the person for him and how she is the love of his life and how he wants the legality and stability that we have".

He wraps his arm around me, "We will have a celebration to remember then next weekend, what with Gideon and Eva's engagement _and_ your birthday," I shake my head at that and he frowns at me.

"No, I don't want to steal their thunder this is going to be their special moment and it is enough for me that they are choosing to share it with us. We will all be going out together while they are with us so let's just leave it at that, don't worry about my birthday, lets concentrate on Eva and Gideon" I say.

Christian doesn't say anything and I know he probably isn't too keen on that idea.

We drive over to the house where Elliot is waiting for us, we go over what I want and he assures me that what I am asking for shouldn't take too long at all and we should be in by Christmas.

I gape at him, "Christmas, as in Christmas this year?" I say.

Elliot nods, "Definitely, as long as we don't find any nasty surprises its all pretty superficial, and I can get the whole crew on it as I have a free window from the beginning of October for about a month or so". I clap my hands and hug Elliot he laughs and spins me around.

We leave Elliot to his measuring and note taking and head down to the beach, Christian calls Gideon and we set up Facetime as soon as his beaming grin appears on my iphone I turn it and show him the beach, I pan around so he can see it all, then turn the phone back to me.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"It's perfect, it's so beautiful" he says his eyes shining.

Christian takes my phone, "let me know what you need and I'll get it organised, it's going to be easy getting her here we can come under the guise of showing you the new house, and then we can show you the grounds and you can come down here and do your thing".

Christian and Gideon talk for a few moments longer until I point out I need to get back to work.

"I'll call you later my friend and we will discuss this further and make arrangements" he says. They hang up and Christian hands me my phone back.

**(GIDEON)**

_Meanwhile, in New York..._

I have just got off the phone with Christian and Ana and I have seen the most perfect place to propose to Eva. I love beaches, my early memories of my parents taking me on holiday and my father playing in the sand with me, they are amongst my most treasured memories.

As soon as I am through with the call, I realise this is getting real. I look at the ring I am going to give to Eva, I open the box and stare at it, I was in two minds about it as it was the ring my father gave to my mother, she threw it out when she restarted her life with Chris, but the last time I was truly happy was when my parents were together and besides its a lovely ring.

I am so anxious about this, I have dropped so many hints about getting married, but Eva keeps saying it's too soon. Admittedly we were a mess when we started out, we drained each other with our mutual boatload of baggage, and most of the time it felt like we were drowning, it wasn't good, but I have never ever felt anything like how I feel with Eva, the closest was with Ana, but it is obvious to anyone, that she and Christian are soul mates they are so in tune with each other and I feel that with Eva, she makes me complete.

Eva is doing her Krav Maga training tonight and I am going to surprise her by going to see her. She has really stepped up with it, since her reaction when Nathan reappeared. She said she didn't want to react like that if she was in danger again. Now I swear with everything I have she will never be in a position like that again, I will protect her with my own life, but she enjoys going and it boosts her confidence.

Angus is waiting for me, and we drive over to Brooklyn to Parkers studio, it's an impressive place, I know that Richard Stanton put a lot of money into the place when Eva's mother found out about it. Jeez that woman, tracking her own daughter. I can understand how she felt though; when I become a father I will probably do the same thing if I have a daughter. I smile at that thought. A family of my own, that is a dream of mine now, since Eva gave me the chance of a life I never thought I could have, she has me thinking of all kinds of possibilities, and being someone's father is high up on that list.

I see Clancy waiting for Eva; he strolls over and shakes my hand. "Eva never said you were fetching her?" he asks.

"No, I've come to surprise her, I wanted to see her in action" I say.

"She's good, damn good, she surprised me the few times I have caught her in action," he says proudly.

I nod and head inside leaving him chatting with Angus.

I spot Eva immediately, and I instantly get hard as stone, she looks amazing she is sparring with a woman and I see her body flexing and straining. I adjust myself and sit down on the bleachers, my eyes fixed on her. She took the news about Corrine quite well, I took Ana's advice and told her everything, and I assured her I love her and that Corrine means nothing to me. I have decided not to pursue what she did. I believe that she was duped by Barker, and I don't want to give any further attention to her or that whole situation.

A tall black guy with bulging muscles comes up, and Eva starts to spar with him. He comes up behind her and grabs her, the jealousy shoots through me as I see this and I have to physically stop myself from leaping off the bleachers and pounding him. I watch as she throws him and he lands on the ground with a thud. As she does this she sees me and does a double take at me.

She grins, and helping up the man whispers something to him and nods towards me, he glances at me and nods and they start this full on sparring. My heart comes into my mouth a few times but she is unbelievable, I just stare in awe at her. When she eventually stops she wanders over drinking her water and wiping her face on a towel.

"That was fucking hot," I splutter before I can stop myself.

Eva laughs and sits beside me, "This is a nice surprise," she says bumping her shoulder against mine.

"Angel I want to take you home and fuck you so hard. I am uncomfortable I am so aroused," I growl in her ear.

"Well, if that's the case, who am I to argue?" she says with a grin. I realise I have to get up and I have a raging hard on.

"Erm I have a problem Angel" I whisper glancing down at myself.

Eva grins and hands me her gym duffel and coat to carry. Thankfully we are near the doors and I manage to slip out without embarrassing myself. When I get outside I see Angus is alone and Clancy has gone.

On the ride home I have fantasies of pulling her onto my painfully hard cock but I restrain myself until we get back to the penthouse. Just! I practically drag her into the bedroom and throw her on the bed with one hand whilst releasing my cock with the other, within moments of being back I am inside her, thrusting deeply and savouring every moment.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

**(EVA)**

Something is going on, Gideon is constantly on the phone to Christian this week and I feel like he is pulling away from me. After his surprise visit to my Krav Maga class on Monday and the fabulous sex when we got home he has been, I don't know... distant. I'm scared as I can't begin to contemplate life without Gideon in it, I wonder if it has anything to do with the issues he is having with his ex, I wonder if he wants her back and wants to try again with her, and the very thought makes me feel ill.

My mind is all over the place at the moment, I have no idea what he is thinking and all the time the gulf between us is just getting bigger. We are supposed to be flying out to see the apartment in Seattle he has bought, and to see Ana and Christian, but at this moment I don't even know if that will happen. I need to talk to someone about this, but the only people I could talk to are Christian and Ana, and I don't want to burden them any further, they have been dragged in enough already.

I glance at the clock it is nearly 9pm and Gideon still isn't home, I can't stand it anymore and I call Ana for a chat.

"Hi Ana," I say when she picks up, I try to sound happy but I fail miserably.

"Eva, are you ok?" Ana asks, her concern makes all my defences crumble, her kind voice breaches the dam and I start to cry.

"I don't know Ana, something is wrong between Gideon and I, he has been so distant this week, he is never here and when he is he's not if you get what I mean, and there is a distance between us I feel like he is pulling away from me. I have no idea what's gone wrong. If he didn't want me any more I couldn't stand it". I blurt out in a rush between the sobs.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down Eva, slow down and tell me what's happened from the beginning" Ana says in a soothing voice.

I take a deep breath and tell her everything, how he told me all about Corrine and how everything was good and how he came to watch me at Krav Maga but then how after Monday and our marathon sex session he has hardly touched me. He has been at work all the time and when he is here, his head is somewhere else. Ana listens to me and lets me get it all out.

"I wouldn't worry too much Eva; he probably has something going on at work. Christian is the same when he is having work issues," she says.

I feel a pang of hope blossoming at these words; I grab them and hang on to them.

"Do you think so?" I ask hopefully.

"I know so," she says, "Men are strange creatures and if something is bothering them they retreat to their caves, Christian can be unbearable when he is working through GEH issues," she says.

"Ok" I say feeling somewhat reassured.

"Eva, Gideon loves you, he adores you, its blatantly obvious to anyone in the vicinity how much he loves you... it's quite sickening really!" she says with a giggle.

I laugh, "You can talk, the way you and Christian are isn't much better!" I retort.

"There you go then, you know he isn't going to leave you, he loves you, and you are his life Eva" she says sincerely.

We chat a while longer and when we hang up I do feel a little better about things.

**(ANA)**

_Back in Seattle..._

I have just hung up from Eva and I hope my bullshit has pacified her; I go to find Christian and find him in his office sprawled in his chair with his feet up on his desk, he is on the phone and is laughing to whoever he is talking to. I realise the only person he would be this relaxed with is Gideon, I walk over to him and he glances at me.

"Are you talking to Gideon?" I ask as I point at the phone.

Christian nods, I walk up to him gesturing to his phone letting him know I want to speak to Gideon.

"Hang on Gideon, Ana is here she wants to talk to you" Christian says. He hands his phone over to me.

"Ana!" Gideon exclaims brightly.

"Gideon, are you still at the office?" I ask.

"I am why?" he replies, I can tell he is a little taken a back by my sharp tone.

"I'll tell you why, because while you have been concentrating on getting everything sorted with proposing to your girlfriend, you have been ignoring her and she thinks you want to break up with her, she has just called me in tears saying you have been so distant this week, that you have hardly touched her, are spending too much time at the office and when you are with her you are not really there. She even thinks you want to get back with Corrine and are looking for a way to dump her.

I know why you are acting like that, so I offered her some bullshit that you probably have some work issue which is bothering you, I even lied to her and told her that Christian behaves like that when he has work issues, so you need to get your ass back home and show her some attention".

I stop talking and wait and there is a silence for a few moments, before Gideon speaks and he sounds panicked.

"Shit" he says eventually, "I have been so preoccupied with making sure this is perfect... I... I never realised she felt this way. I love her Ana I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, I don't want Corrine," he says in a rush.

"Well, get your ass back home and tell her you love her and for gods sake don't let on that I have spoken to you, if she says anything just go with the 'I have work issues and I am sorry line'".

"Thank you for letting me know Ana, I'll head home now say goodnight to Christian for me," he says and then he is gone, I smile as I hand Christian his phone back.

"Gideon said goodbye," I say with a grin.

Christian takes his phone and puts it on the desk. He suddenly looks very serious and businesslike, he lifts his feet off his desk and sits up straight.

"Ana can we talk?" he says, I look at him wondering what caused this sudden change in mood.

"Yes of course" I say, he pulls me down to sit in front of him on his desk and he takes my hands in his. He pauses and then, changes his mind and pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me; he buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask, I am suddenly afraid, something is clearly amiss by his demeanour and considering how carefree he was a moment ago this monument swing in mood is jarring.

"Ana... I... I don't know how to say this..." he says.

I turn in his arms and face him, I let him see the worry on my face, and I touch his cheek.

"Just tell me Christian you are scaring me now, you were laughing with Gideon when I came in, and now you have totally changed," I say.

He nods at me and grips me tighter as if he is scared I will run away.

"I want a family, my own family," he blurts out.

He pauses a moment and he takes a breath and before I can answer he is talking again "how would you feel about trying for a baby? We are financially stable and when I got used to the idea before, I was quite looking forward to it and then it was taken away, so can we try again?" he stops and looks at me, I don't answer straight away and I see fear appear in his eyes.

"Can I think it over?" I say gently.

He nods "Of course you can, it is your body and I don't want to force you into anything so life changing," he stops and searches my face.

I smile at him and decide to be totally honest, "I won't lie I'm scared, I really don't want to go through what I went through when we lost the baby ever again, and I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt what happened. Plus I want to make sure I am totally ready for this, as you say its life changing, I have just got my dream job, plus I am only 21 years old, I'm not saying no, but I need time to think everything though".

Christian nods at me and holds me tighter. "I have been talking to Gideon and he said how he feels since he met Eva, how she has given him hope of a life he never thought he could have, it was like he was talking about me. I felt exactly the same when I met you. You know how I was, I wasn't living, I was existing. He said he was having fantasies of having a family with Eva and he relished the thought of being someone's father. It made me think of our baby that we lost, and it made me realise I want that too" he pauses again and I can see he is working up to saying something else.

"I have had dreams at night about it Ana; I dreamt I was running through that meadow at the new house with my child. I want my own family, my wife and my children" he says almost as if he is confessing it to me and then he stops and looks at me.

I think about what he is saying, "Christian, children aren't possessions," I say carefully.

"I know that, I just... I love you Ana you know that you are my life, you are my reason for living and to have a baby with you, someone, another human being on this earth because of our love a physical embodiment of our love for each other, its a mind blowing thought, and the more I think about it the more I find myself wanting it. I have no idea if I will be a good father, but I know you will help me and..." I stop him by pressing my finger against his lips.

"Ok" I say with a smile his impassioned explanation has made up my mind for me and I don't need to think about it anymore.

"What?" he says confused.

"Lets make a baby!" I say.

The joy on Christian's face is unbelievable, he kisses me almost violently and scooping me up in his arms he carries me into the bedroom. When we get there he sets me on my feet and I go to the drawer and throw my pills in the bin.

He comes towards me and grasping my shoulders he tilts my chin up to look him in the face, "you are sure about this? I thought you wanted time to think it though, I don't want to rush you into anything?" He looks concerned and afraid again.

I nod at him, "I'm sure, I went through all the pros and cons before, and so if I was prepared to do it before when we weren't even together at the time, and I would have been bringing up the baby alone, I shouldn't have any doubts or issues now," I say.

His face softens, "You wouldn't have been alone, I would have come to my senses eventually – which I did if you remember?"

With that he lifts me on to the bed and removes my clothes I watch as he undresses himself and lowers himself down on top of me, I feel his erection pressing against my stomach.

"I know you did, what I mean is, when I decided to keep the baby we weren't together, and I was going to be a single mother, that's what I meant" I say wanting to clarify what I was trying to say and I watch as Christian nods at me.

"I know baby, I know what you meant, I was a complete asshole then," he says softly, brushing my hair from my face, his hands move down my body he looks at me and speaks again, "You are totally sure about this?" he asks again as he busies himself playing with my breast.

I nod, "I'm sure, but don't expect anything to happen straight away, I took my last tablet this morning so it could be a while before I conceive".

I know what Christian is like when he sets his mind to something, he expects results immediately, and baby making doesn't work like that.

He kisses my breast and sucks on my nipple before he lifts his head up, "there is no harm in practicing though is there?" he says with a grin.

The next morning I switch my phone on and a text comes through from Eva I read it and smile.

_**You were right, everything is good, thank you c u Sat **_

I quickly text her back.

_**Can't wait and I told you so! **_

Christian walks up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist, I feel him looking over my shoulder.

"Who are you texting baby?" he asks.

"Eva" I reply. He nibbles my ear and kisses my neck, and I put down my phone and turn in his arms. "What are you doing?" I ask and I lift my head up for him to kiss me.

"Nothing, I want to kiss my wife, and I want to hold her in my arms, and now I am going to do this".

He moves quickly and scoops me up over his shoulder and I squeal in shock as I grip his back, and he laughs, striding back with me over his shoulder into our bedroom. He lowers me on to the bed and then covers me with his body.

He starts to kiss me slowly and then oh so gently he removes my clothes and despite my protests that we will be late for work he ignores me and proceeds to caress me and I feel the love in his touch, he told me that he didn't make love, he just fucked hard. Well yes he does fuck hard, but he can be gentle and at this moment all I feel is love and I reach for him and touch him. I move slowly and deliberately so I don't startle him and he closes his eyes and throws his head back as I run my hands over his bare chest, but it isn't fear he is feeling it is enjoyment he is learning to love my touch.

He lets out a sigh as he enters me and then he starts to move oh so slowly and deliberately. I meet him thrust for thrust and we move together as one, and I want this to last for ever, I moan as I start to build towards my orgasm, I feel the heat inside building and I grip him tighter, he starts to move faster.

"Give it up for me baby," he whispers in my ear, I moan again as the pleasure starts to escalate, I am so close and I know Christian is too.

The gentle sweet thrusts of earlier have now been replaced by something more primal, and we move together in harmony until the moment arrives and I cry out Christians name and grip his shoulders to me, he thrusts a couple more times and he calls out my name and buries his head in my neck as I feel him come deep inside me.

"Oh god baby that was good," he whispers in my ear, I feel him smile as he adds "I do like this baby making practice".

I smile and hold him close in contented silence.

Taylor makes sure I'm not late for work and drops Luke and I off first before taking Christian to Grey House. As he pulls up outside Cross Publishing, Christian tugs me towards him and wraps his arms around me kissing me fiercely.

"I love you so much baby," he whispers in my ear as he finally lets me go.

"I love you too," I reply.

I head inside with Luke and sit down at my desk and make a start on the pile of manuscripts I have. About half way through the morning my phone rings, I unthinkingly reach for it.

"Ana Grey speaking" I say automatically.

"Ana, it's Bob, how are you?" I pause in surprise at Bob's voice.

"Hi Bob, I'm fine what can I do for you?" I ask warily.

"This is probably going to sound a little strange, but do you have any idea where your mother is? She called me a couple of days ago saying she was in Seattle and that she wanted to come home, and that she was sorry and would I forgive her. I agreed and she said she was going to get the next flight out to Atlanta, and then get a flight out to Savannah. I went to the airport and waited for nearly three hours and she never arrived, I've been making enquiries and it seems like that she vanished after she landed in Atlanta, she didn't catch the connecting flight to Savannah, so I was wondering if she called you or anything?"

I sigh, "Oh Bob, I'm sorry but she and I had a bit of a disagreement on Sunday, Christian and I were out when she called and she caused a bit of a scene in the downstairs lobby of our apartment block she accused Jason – our head of security and Christian of keeping me from her. I called her on Christians phone and she obviously thought it was him and mouthed off at me before she realised it was actually me. I told her I would see her – which would have been yesterday, but I was later informed that she had left a message saying she was returning to Georgia, and I've not heard anything since, but to be honest with you Bob, I really don't care anymore, that woman has let me down so any times I've had it with her".

"I see, well thanks anyway Ana, I won't bother you again" he says.

"Bob wait," I say hurriedly, "Listen, if I hear anything I'll let you know, you are a good man and you were good for her, I'm sorry she didn't treat you better".

"Thank you Ana, she has treated us both badly, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better, you are a good girl. I'd better go now anyway, I'll let you get on with your work, bye Ana," he says and the line goes dead.

I stare at the phone for a moment and then I rummage for my cell phone, and I call Taylor.

"Hi Taylor, can you do me a favour?" I ask when he answers.

"Certainly Mrs Grey, what do you need" he replies.

"Bob has just called me, mom has gone AWOL, she landed at Atlanta but didn't get her connecting flight to Savannah, I don't suppose there is anything you could do to try and track her down and find out where she went is there?" I ask.

"I'll see what I can do Mrs Grey, I'm at SIP at the moment with the executive team but when we get back to Grey House I'll contact Welch and see what he can come up with," he replies.

"Thank you" I say gratefully and hang up. The executive team is Christian and Ros and I smile as I think about straight to the point Ros being called the executive team. I think no more of my mother and continue with my work, a while later Luke enters my office looking grim.

"Mrs Grey, I have been told I have to take you to Grey House immediately" he says.

I glance at my watch and I see it is almost lunch time so I decide to take my lunch break now; I grab my purse and follow Luke out.

"What's going on?" I ask as we take the elevator down to the garage area.

"I'm not sure, T just called and asked me to take you to Grey House immediately" he says.

"But it can't be anything good for him to do that?" I ask, wondering if this has anything to do with my mother.

I see Luke hesitate, and I look straight at him, "No" he replies eventually.

When I arrive at Grey House Luke takes me straight up to Christian's office. When we arrive Andrea stands and directs me to go straight in. As I open the door the first thing I see is Christian lying on the large sofa in his office, he is curled up in the foetal position and is trembling this immediately sets off alarm bells in my head.

Taylor and another man are sitting at a table with some papers in front of him and Taylor keeps glancing nervously at Christian, and he looks really worried. Taylor stands as soon as he sees me and lets me see his concerned face which is unlike him, this makes me on full alert as he looks across at his employer once again and the second man also stands and offers his hand out to me.

"Geoff Welch, I'm very pleased to meet you Mrs Grey," he says quietly, he too looks worried sick.

Oh so this is the famous Welch who Christian calls from time to time when it comes to security matters.

I smile and say hello but at this moment my main concern is Christian. He hasn't even acknowledged the fact I have entered the room which is not normal behaviour for him, and it is obvious he has shut down and that something is terribly wrong, I turn to the two men.

"Excuse me gentlemen, would you give me a moment alone with my husband?" I ask.

They both nod and leave the room I see a look of relief wash over them both and Luke goes with them, as soon as the door is shut I turn to Christian and walk towards him.

"Christian what is it?" I ask.

I touch his arm and I immediately worry as he flinches violently, and he shrinks away from me, what on earth has happened to him to provoke that sort of reaction?

"Christian talk to me," I say getting more afraid by the moment.

"I saw him, he's here in Seattle, I know it was him, I'd know him anywhere" Christian mumbles, he is rambling, this is not like him.

"Christian, look at me you are not making any sense, talk to me and tell me what has upset you, who have you seen?" I ask.

Christian rolls over and looks at me and I see a lost look on his face, he slowly unfolds and sits up and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my stomach, he is clinging to me, I go cold when I touch his back and he flinches dramatically again.

"Christian talk to me please" I beg.

"It was him... the crack whore's pimp I know it was" he says quietly.

What the hell? He cannot be serious; he has not seen that man since he was about four years old, so surely he is mistaken?

"Are you sure? You were only a small child back then, it was 24 years ago at least, he would have aged if he was in his early 20's he would be in his late 40's now?" I ask.

"I'm sure it was," he says, and I can feel him getting increasingly agitated.

"Ok calm down well don't panic he can't hurt you now, you are a grown man there isn't anything he can do to hurt you now," I say firmly, willing him to come back to me.

"I am going to fetch Taylor and Welch and I will listen to what they have to say and we will take it from there ok?" Christian just nods at me but doesn't make any effort to move or do anything else.

I am shocked by his reaction to this man; this was the animal that scarred Christian for life by putting out cigarettes on him and who beat him and kicked him across rooms. Immediately I feel my anger rising, I want to find this man and I want to do the same to him.

I crouch in front of Christian, "I won't let him hurt you, he can't hurt you, do you understand me, and I won't let him hurt you ever again" I say to him.

He flings his arms around me and I feel him shaking, "I love you so much" he whispers.

"I know you do, and I love you too" I say.

"Now I'm just going to fetch Taylor and Welch and we can sort this out ok?" I say as I try and prise him off me.

He releases his hold on me and I go to call in Taylor and Welch, but he doesn't take his eyes off me as I move away, they both enter the room looking worried.

"How is he?" Taylor says quietly.

"Not good, give me a moment will you?" I say.

I turn to Luke, I am quickly writing on a scrap of paper, "Luke I need you to go to this address and bring Dr John Flynn here now, tell him it's an emergency and tell him Mrs Grey will compensate him for any loss but he is needed here right now this minute".

I hand Luke the piece of paper which I have scribbled Dr Flynn's address on, he nods and leaves. I walk over to Andrea she stands as soon as I approach.

"When Luke returns with another gentleman, please let them straight through, but nobody else, nobody, not even Ros," I say.

"Yes Mrs Grey" she replies, she hesitates, "Excuse me Mrs Grey is everything alright?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, but it will be," I say with a weak smile. I walk into Christian's office with Taylor and Welch and the sight breaks my heart. I quickly close the door so nobody will see in.

Christian is still sitting on his sofa but he has his knees drawn up now and he is rocking.

I turn to Taylor and Welch, "Whatever you see in here and whatever is said, does not leave these four walls" I say.

They both nod at me, "That's why we called you Mrs Grey, he has been like this ever since he saw that guy" Taylor says.

"Tell me what happened" I ask.

"Well, we had a meeting at SIP and when we left the SIP building we headed back to the car and Mr Grey glanced up to see a man loitering, he was lighting a cigarette, and he just froze and stared at the man, who looked up and he looked shocked at first and then he smiled but not a good smile and he took a long drag on his cigarette and he just walked away. I immediately got Welch to track him using city CCTV and find out who he is, do you have any idea who he could be Mrs Grey?" he asks.

I nod, "Let's sit down" I say, I glance at Christian who is still sitting rocking. I walk over to him and crouch in front of him.

"Christian, can I tell Taylor about that man, can I tell him what you told me so he can help me keep you safe from him?" I ask.

Christian nods at me but doesn't say a word; I stand and hold out my hand to him.

"Come and sit with me Christian," I say gently.

He obeys without a word, and walks like a child to the table and sits down beside me clutching my hand tightly.

"When Christian was four years old his birth mother died and he was taken to hospital he was malnourished and dehydrated but he also had many physical injuries he had broken bones, cuts and bruises but he also had a number of cigarette burns on his body. The injuries were caused by his birth mother's pimp who used to feed his mother the drugs she craved. Christian witnessed him abusing his mother physically and sexually, he saw them having sex and he saw him bring other men for her to have sex with. He abused Christian severely, he told me he was kicked across a room many times and beaten with a leather belt by this man and when he discovered Christian's mother dead he took it out on Christian, he beat him then he locked Christian in with her and left him with his dead mother's body, I have reason to believe from what Christian said to me - that was the man he saw today".

I stop at the shocked expressions on the two men in front of me, two men who as ex military men witnessed god knows what throughout their military careers are staring at me in disbelief. Welch even gasps and shakes his head.

There is a knock at the door and Luke enters with Dr Flynn, he takes one look at Christian and frowns.

"Hello Christian," he says gently.

Christian looks up at him without a word. It's almost as if he doesn't recognise him, and I am getting really worried now, so I turn to Taylor.

"Do you want to go into the conference room?" I say pointing at the door to my left, "I'll join you in a moment," I add.

They all head into the room and shut the door. I quickly outline the events and how I came over and how Christian has shut down and how he has been rocking himself in the foetal position on his sofa and not responding to anyone. As I am talking I see Christian has retreated back to the sofa and is lying down again curled into a ball. I tell him what he said and what Taylor told me. Dr Flynn nods but looks very worried. I glance around and nod to Christian.

"That is exactly how I found him when I arrived," I say.

Dr Flynn nods and touches my shoulder kindly.

"Ok leave him with me will you," he says. I nod and go to walk into the conference room and this produces the first real reaction from Christian.

"No, Ana stay, you said you'd never leave me," he cries.

I turn and he reaches out and grabs me, clinging to my arm, pleading with his eyes.

I drop into a crouch beside him and touch his face, "Christian, listen to me, Dr Flynn wants to talk to you and Taylor wants to talk to me, I will be just in here. Do you want me to leave the door open so you can see me?" I ask as I point to the conference room door.

He nods and lets me go; he watches me go into the conference room and adjusts his position so he can see me clearly.

"Ana?" he calls anxiously.

"I'm right here" I call. I turn to Taylor and Welch, "Ok guys tell me everything you know about this man" I say firmly.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

Welch pushes the folder towards me, it contains all the information he has gleaned on this man, since Taylor asked for him to be tracked. I am impressed if not also a little shocked with the amount of information he has managed to pull together in such a short amount of time. Taylor is also giving me an oral summary of the information I am currently reading.

In the space of a couple of hours he has discovered the man's name, roughly where he is living and where he previously lived and his criminal record. As I read through the information, I discover the man's name is Tony Garrett, he is originally from Detroit, but he left Detroit and came to Seattle five years ago and he currently appears to be living with a woman and a small boy. I feel dread wash over me at those words. He has a list of convictions of physical abuse, drug dealing and prostituting women as long as my arm.

I look up at Taylor and point to the papers, "Where _exactly_ does he live?" I ask carefully.

Taylor looks at Welch and then he looks back at me, he knows why I want to know.

"Mrs Grey I really don't think you should..." I hold my hand up and stop him.

"Taylor, did you listen to what I told you about what that man did to my husband when he was a defenceless child? Now you tell me that he is currently living here in Seattle with a woman and a small child, do you want another child to grow up as physically and emotionally scarred as him?" I point towards Christian's office.

Taylor shakes his head, "No, of course not, no child should be subjected to that".

I glance at Welch who has a very odd expression on his face and I wonder what he is thinking.

I stand up, I need to think and I start to pace the room, I need help and as I pace around and move away from the entrance to the conference room, I immediately hear a wail come from Christian's office.

"Ana, where are you?" I immediately walk back into the open doorway so Christian can see me.

"I'm right here, I'm talking with Taylor and Welch, I'm not going anywhere," I say reassuringly.

I see him immediately calm down again as he sees me, and I glance at Flynn and he shakes his head, he looks worried, this isn't good, the last thing we need is to have to have Christian sectioned or something.

I start to question my decision of leaving him alone with Flynn, as it is obvious he desperately wants me in there with him, and yet Flynn is the professional and he asked me to leave Christian with him. I just don't know what to do; I am so out of my depth. I think carefully and then the answer comes to me in a rush and I pull out my phone. I call the one person besides me who I know Christian will respond positively to, the woman who he told me had saved his life and who he owed everything to, the woman who he thought was an angel when he first met her… his mom. Christian appears to have regressed or something, and as such Grace is my only hope of bringing him back, so I dial her cell phone".

"Dr Trevelyan" she says quietly, her calm voice immediately soothes me and brings everything into sharp focus.

"Grace, I need you," I blurt out.

"Ana, what's wrong darling?" she asks immediately concerned.

I quickly outline what has happened and the state Christian is now in and she doesn't hesitate. "I'm on my way, thank you for calling me I will be there as soon as I can," she says and then she hangs up.

I glance at my watch, I know that I can't go back to work today so I call Luke in and ask him to go back to Cross Publishing and ask him to get Damien to step in and help me out with the workload, it seems the best thing to do, as I know he is a good editor and as he has just transferred to Seattle he doesn't have a client list of his own yet. I watch as Luke simply nods and leaves.

Then I grab my phone again and I call Gideon to inform him of what I have done. I know I could have called the seniors at the Washington office, but truth be known I really just want to hear Gideon's voice, as well as my excuse to tell him about the professional matters that I need to make him aware of, he is my friend and at this moment I really need my friend, so I dial his number and wait.

"Ana," he says warmly, that familiar rasping voice coming over the line and it immediately makes me feel comforted and not so alone.

"Gideon we have a bit of a problem here," I say.

I quickly outline everything that has happened and what I have done, I offer my rationalisation that it's not fair on the other editors to pick up my slack and as Damien doesn't have a client list as yet, he was the obvious choice to cover for me. Thankfully Gideon agrees with me on that and then he asks how Christian is, I tell him that it's not good and I describe how I found him and how John Flynn is with him now. I tell him what Welch has found out so far and how he going to continue digging.

"I'll get my people on it as well and I'll send a team out today to assist him," he says adamantly.

A warm sensation flows through me at his words, and although Gideon is the other side the country I really don't feel quite so alone and helpless now.

"Thank you Gideon, and I'm sorry I have let you down, you gave me a job and I have hardly been in it," I say gratefully.

"Ana, don't worry about that, of course you have to be with Christian, and you haven't left me in lurch at all, you have made sure your work is covered, and you have handled everything professionally so don't give it another thought," he says kindly.

"Thank you, I'll let you get on" I say.

"Keep me informed, and don't hesitate, if you need me, you phone me, do you understand?" he says.

"I will, are you both still going to come over for the weekend?" I ask, and I wonder if he can detect the almost desperate note in my voice.

"Yes of course we will come, plus if we can be any assistance it will be easier for us if we are there on the ground, try not to worry Ana and remember if you need anything, call me anytime," he says.

"Thank you" I repeat, I really am grateful for his help and reassurance.

I hang up and I hear Grace's voice, I frown as it is coming from outside the office, it sounds like she is shouting and she sounds angry.

"Let me through you silly girl, Mrs Grey has called me so of course I can enter my son's office," I hear her shout.

I have never heard Grace raise her voice like this before and it goes some way to show how worried she is.

I head out to find out what the problem is, I see Olivia refusing to let Grace pass, and it is only Grace's innate good manners that are preventing her from pushing Olivia out of the way. I look around for Andrea, but she is nowhere to be seen.

"Olivia, what the hell are you doing?" I shout.

Olivia turns and looks at me defiantly, "Andrea said nobody was to be allowed entry, nobody - not even Ros, she said it was your direct order," she says glaring at me.

I shake my head and roll my eyes, "to be fair... yes I did say that, and yes it was, but surely your common sense should tell you that when Dr Trevelyan Grey, the mother of the man who pays your wages, tells you that I have personally called her to come here, surely then that should make you realise I want her to come in?" I say sardonically.

At that moment Andrea returns and takes in the situation.

"What on earth has happened here? Is everything alright Mrs Grey?" she asks nervously.

I wave my hand at Olivia, "Olivia took my directive that nobody was to disturb us a little too literally and to the extreme, by refusing entry to Grace even after she had explained to her that I had called her and asked her to come," I say in an irritated tone.

Andrea glares at Olivia in exasperation, and then turns to us her expression changing to one of sincere apology.

"I do apologise Dr Trevelyan Grey, Mrs Grey," she says sincerely.

Olivia looks surprised at this, "But you said no-one was to be allowed entry, not even Ros, and that it was a direct order from her!" she says rudely, pointing at me.

My patience evaporates and my temper snaps and before Andrea can say anything else I turn to Olivia, "You are fired," I say to her.

Olivia takes a step back but she quickly recovers and now she looks angrily at me, "You don't have the right to fire me, you're not my boss, you don't even work here," she retorts.

Andrea spins on the spot at glares at her, "No, I am your immediate boss, and you _are_ fired Olivia, you take the definition of incompetence and stupidity to a whole new level, and this was the final straw, also you have no right to speak to Mrs Grey like that, didn't Mr Grey explain to you that Mrs Grey was to be treated with respect and courtesy at all times, the same respect that you show him?"

She waits and looks questioningly at Olivia and Olivia blanches but doesn't say a word, so Andrea continues, "if Mr Grey had heard the way you just spoke to Mrs Grey he would have been furious, and so for that alone you are finished in here, so go clear your desk now," she says.

Olivia gapes at her, but I need to get Grace inside to Christian, "Can you handle this please Andrea?" I ask her.

Andrea nods at me, "Certainly Mrs Grey and I do apologise for everything that has happened" she says again.

I smile at her, "Don't worry Andrea, it wasn't your fault" I say.

I turn and accompany Grace into Christian's office, the first thing I see is that the room is empty, neither Flynn nor Christian is there and then I hear my name being repeatedly shouted from the next room and Flynn repeatedly telling Christian to calm down, I realise what has happened.

"Shit, I left the room, he thinks I've left him," I say.

"Christian!" I call, and he comes hurtling in and his hair is all over the place where he has been running his hands through it and I can see that panic has totally consumed him.

"You left, you left," he mumbles as grabs me and holds me close, he is now clinging to me tightly.

I place my hands carefully on his shoulders and I am pleased when he doesn't flinch but he does slightly stiffen when he feels my touch.

"I'm right here Christian, I just went to meet your mom, look Christian your mom is here," I say, turning slightly to point at Grace, who is watching the events unfold with a concerned expression on her face.

"What are you doing here mom?" he asks.

Grace steps forward, I can tell she wants to hold him and she reaches out towards him a couple of times before she stops and withdraws her hand again.

"Ana called me darling," she says carefully, "She told me you were upset". Christian nods and she walks forward and hesitantly touches Christians arm.

Christian puts his head down, and he looks ashamed now, "I saw him mom, I saw the crack whores pimp, he is right here in Seattle, after all these years and I kind of lost it," he says.

I glance at Flynn and for the first time he nods his head and smiles a little, and that small gesture makes me sigh with relief that he has got through to him a little bit at least.

Grace smiles at him and steps closer, she is speaking to him as if he is a frightened wounded animal.

"I know darling, Ana told me, she was worried about you, I think you scared her with the way you were behaving, so she called me to come and help," Grace says kindly.

Christian frowns at that and fear immediately appears in his eyes, turns his head towards me, "I'm so sorry I scared you baby," he says quietly.

I quickly try to reassure him, as I hate that look, "That's ok, I was worried about you, I had never seen you like that before, I didn't know what to do," I say, I touch his face and he smiles at me.

"It just took me back you know, I saw him and I was that four year old again, waiting to be booted across a room or have cigarettes stubbed out on me and I... I got scared," he says, almost as if he is trying to offer some justification for the way he had behaved.

He stops talking, I see the fear and panic has gone now and it has been replaced by shame and self loathing, he has his head down and won't make eye contact with either of us.

"Christian look at me" I say sharply.

I grasp his face and make him look into my face. "You were four years old, the last time you saw that man, and every interaction you had with him was violent and cruel so it was obvious that you were going to have a reaction to it, because it brought back all sorts of horrific memories for you, that is not anything to be ashamed of and I won't have you thinking it is. All you did was react, you reacted as the four year old you were would have reacted, because you never really got over the abuse of that time, you just shut it out, and now seeing him again has opened it all up for you" I pause and Christian thinks about that and nods.

"That isn't weakness or anything to be ashamed of, Christian, you just need focus on the positives here, you are a grown man now and he can't hurt you anymore," I say and I watch as this realisation registers with him.

I plough on and remind him of the life he has now, the life he wants, "you were doing so well, you let me touch you now, I can touch you everywhere and you like it, remember this morning, think of that memory Christian, how we touched each other, how I put my hands on your chest and back and how much you enjoyed it, think of that time when you feel you are losing control and becoming the frightened four year old again".

I glance up at Flynn I have no idea if I am doing the right thing by saying what I am saying.

The huge smile he gives me, give me confidence to continue. "Remember what we were doing this morning, Christian, and remember why we were doing it," I say earnestly, but flushing a little as I realise I have just asked him to remember us being intimate in front of his mother and his shrink.

His face clouds suddenly as I say that.

"What?" I ask, as I see it, alarm bells ringing at this unexpected reaction.

He shakes his head, "No, tell me," I demand.

He looks at me bleakly, "How on earth can I be any kind of father with my issues, I am a grown man and I can't even face someone who I haven't seen since I was a child," he stops and shakes his head and I see the self loathing consume him once again.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, don't you fucking dare!" I snap, and my harsh tone makes his eyes dart up to meet mine again.

"Language" he says sharply.

"No Christian, you listen to me, there is no way I am letting you beat yourself up about this, you begged me about wanting to start a family, I threw my pills away so for all I know I could be on the way to being pregnant right now".

I know that is a long shot and I am probably not, but the chance is there no matter how slim and now Christian doubts becoming a parent again, I continue to berate him to try and snap him out of this negative mindset he has put himself in.

"Now, after we have started trying for a baby, you tell me you can't be a father? I won't let you do this to us again." I say and I pull away from him and this seems to jolt him.

"Shit, no, oh god baby I am so sorry, forgive me, I do want a family with you," he moans and pulls me back into his arms.

The relief at his words almost makes me sag, and I respond in a softer tone, as I wrap my arms around him once more.

"No, I won't forgive you Christian, because there is nothing to forgive, you will not blame yourself for any of this, you are better than that, you are loved and that man can't and won't hurt you again. I was talking to Welch and Taylor, that man is living in Seattle with a woman and a small child, I have set them on finding out where, so another child doesn't get treated like you did".

I stop and I see the gleam reappear in his eyes, hearing that another child could be facing the same situation he was in has focussed him, the life has come back and now he has a mission.

"I won't let another child go through what I did," he says firmly, his whole demeanour has now changed and once again standing in front of me is the confident CEO.

I smile at the transformation, "There he is! That's the Christian Grey I know," I say and kiss him, "Gideon is sending a team from New York to help Welch" I add.

Christian looks surprised at that, "You spoke to Gideon?" he asks.

I nod, "I had to, I had to leave work and delegate my work to Damien, so I called Gideon to tell him what I had done and why and he was really supportive, he also said if we needed anything to call him any time and he and Eva are still coming at the weekend".

I look at him knowingly, I am hoping that I can distract him from this with the arrangements of the proposal, "Oh and by the way, I fired Olivia," I say a little sheepishly.

I hear Grace snort with laughter at that, and Christian grins at me.

"Well, you saved me from doing it," he says with a shrug and then he turns to Grace.

"I'm sorry if I worried you mom," he says.

"Not at all, Ana called me for moral support, she was really worried about you, I'll head off if I am not needed here any longer," Grace steps towards Christian and she opens her arms in invitation and patiently waits.

After a moments hesitation Christian turns towards her and walks into them. "Thanks mom" he says quietly.

Grace kisses his cheek and then comes to me and hugs me tightly, "I'm sorry to have dragged you over here for nothing" I say to her.

Grace shakes her head, "Don't you dare, you did exactly the right thing" she says and with that she leaves. We turn to face John Flynn who is watching carefully.

"Ana, have you ever considered a career in the Mental Health field?" he says, smiling kindly at me.

I laugh, "No John, I'll leave that to you, one expensive charlatan is quite enough!" I say with a grin, and John throws his head back and laughs loudly.

John turns his attention to Christian, "Christian I suggest you take the rest of the day off" John says seriously.

To my surprise Christian doesn't argue and just nods. I turn to him taking charge once more.

"Call Taylor and tell him you are ready to go home, I'll be back in a moment, I'll go and speak to Ros to ask her step in for you," I say firmly.

I head out and pause at Andrea's desk she looks up immediately, Olivia is nowhere to be seen so I assume she is now gone.

"Mr Grey is not feeling well and so he is taking the rest of the day off, can you redirect all his calls to Ros, and cancel all his appointments. I'm just going to head down there now and fill her in" I say.

"Yes certainly Mrs Grey, is everything alright? I have never seen Mr Grey look so ill, when he came back from SIP this morning, Jason looked so worried about him as well, so, I wasn't surprised when you arrived, please give him my regards and I hope he gets well soon" she says.

"Thank you Andrea" I say, I pause before I leave, "Will you manage on your own now that Olivia has gone?" I ask.

Andrea snorts, "It will make my life easier, as I won't have to continually clear up the messes she makes, but don't worry about me, someone is coming up from Admin to cover until a suitable replacement can be found" she says reassuringly.

After I have finished talking to Andrea I quickly run down to Ros's office and knock, as I open the door she looks up and beams at me.

"Ana!" she exclaims.

Then the smile vanishes and she looks at me seriously, "How is he?" she asks, lowering her voice slightly.

I shake my head, "I'm taking him home, and so will you hold the fort for the rest of the day please?" I ask.

"Consider it done," she says immediately.

She hesitates a moment before she continues, "What happened? As soon as he saw that man outside SIP he seemed to crumble before my very eyes, I have never seen anything like it, and he never said a word all the way back and when we got here, he just took himself off to his office and slammed the door".

"Ros, I can't discuss it with you, not without Christian's permission, it's his story to tell if he wants to" I say and Ros nods.

"I understand" she says immediately, "Don't worry I'll handle everything here," she adds.

When we return to Escala, Christian is still very quiet, and he is following me around like a lost puppy, he won't let me out of his sight. He appears to be back to normal now though, and I am glad as I never want to see that Christian Grey again, it was scary and I just didn't know what to do for the best.

I can tell he is not really enjoying being at home doing nothing, so I suggest to him to go to his office and work on something, to take his mind off everything, he nods in agreement and walks way. I watch him go and let out a long breath, I am still worried about him, a few minutes later Taylor appears and looks around.

"Where is he?" he asks me quietly.

"In his study, I suggested he go and do some work" I reply, Taylor nods and walks towards me.

"We have discovered something regarding your request with your mother," he says.

I look surprised; I thought that had been forgotten after the events that unfolded this morning. I hadn't expected Welch to bother about my little request when he had been busy tracking the guy that had caused Christian's meltdown.

"Oh?" I say it's all I can manage.

"You look surprised Mrs Grey?" Taylor says with a grin.

"I am, I thought after everything else that happened this morning that would be the last thing on your mind" I say.

"You asked us to help you find your mother and we did it," he says with a shrug.

"And?" I ask.

"She never boarded the flight to Georgia, she checked in at Sea Tac and from the CCTV footage we acquired, it appears she _was_ going back to Georgia and heading to the departure lounge when she ran into someone, they went for a coffee and then she left the airport with him, rather than getting on the plane".

"Who did she leave with, do you have any idea?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am I do, and so do you, it was Jose Rodriquez; it would appear she has gone to Portland with him".

"What on earth would she want with Jose?" I ask in confusion.

"Erm..." Taylor begins, he glances around and gestures to the sofa he comes and sits beside me. "After your father's accident, when Miss Trammell pointed out that Jose had 'a thing' about you, Mr Grey insisted that we put a track on him to keep a discreet eye on him". I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Jose is just a friend, Jason" I insist.

"Mrs Grey..." Taylor pauses and glances behind him again whatever he is about to tell me I'm obviously not supposed to know.

"We have strong credible reason to believe that Mr Rodriguez has been stalking you. We have received items through the mail addressed to you which we have examined, and then disposed of, which have been traced back to him. We have seen him in the vicinity many times when you have been attending functions where it is publicly known you were attending, he has been seen taking covert photographs of you and he was seen in a car following you and Luke to Cross Publishing on a few occasions. Mr Grey is concerned he is planning something, but we believe he is just infatuated with you. Our concern is that those beliefs he has, may escalate should he speak with your mother and hear her views, for example that Mr Grey is keeping you from your family and controlling you and he may feel it is duty to rescue you or something worse". Taylor stops and stares at me.

I rub my face, I can't believe what I am hearing, "What sort of things did he send me?" I ask.

Taylor sighs, "There were numerous items, mainly underwear, there were several pairs of plain white cotton panties sent on various occasions always along with a pair of identical pink ones, there was a photograph of you, and I assume it was taken when you were at college, Miss Kavanagh was also in the photograph, and you both appeared to be in a bar, you were both laughing and looked happy, it was paired with a covert photograph of you with Mr Grey and you were both talking, it appeared to be when Mr Grey was attempting to win you back, when you weren't together, and you appeared to be upset. Then there was a box which contained nothing but Hershey candy bars, but the most disturbing one, was one where he sent a series of photographs of you which were taken when you were living at the apartment with Miss Kavanagh and you were in your bedroom undressing, your curtains were closed but there was a small gap and he was obviously close enough to be able to snap you through that gap".

Taylor looks at me I know straight away the significance of all these items, apart from the photos of me undressing; those are just creepy and freak me out a little.

"Well I have no idea about the photos of me undressing and quite frankly that has made me feel uncomfortable. The panties are an in joke, Kate did the washing once when we are at college and she put in all my panties and whites in a wash but she missed a red sock and everything came out pink, and we teased her endlessly about it. The Hershey bars were my favourite snack at college, Jose said that I used to live on them, I didn't of course, but whenever he saw me I always seemed to have one. As for the photo, I am guessing he was showing me how happy I was when I was a student and comparing that with how he perceived me to be with Christian, but what was the point of it?" I ask.

Taylor shakes his head, "I'm not sure, possibly to try and make you see what your life was like before, a nostalgia trip to try and persuade you to leave the life you now have".

"I would never leave Christian, I love him" I say firmly.

Taylor smiles, "I know, that is blatantly obvious, as is the way he feels about you, I am just concerned this could escalate now which is why I wanted to tell you. I am obliged to share this information with Mr Grey but I wanted to give you a heads up, as Mr Grey would probably insist you were not told, but my gut feeling on this is you need to know so you can be prepared should anything happen," he says.

"Thank you Jason" I say and touch his arm.

He looks embarrassed and stands, "No problem ma'am" he says.

"Jason, can I ask you something?" I ask he pauses and looks at me questioningly.

"Did I do the right thing today?" I ask.

He sits down again, "What do you mean?" he asks.

I shake my head sadly, "I felt so out of my depth, I had no idea what to do for the best, Christian didn't respond to me as he normally does and it threw me, he was so shut down I thought the best thing to do was call Dr Flynn as he knows how to handle that sort of thing, but did I let him down by not being with him and leaving him alone with John Flynn?"

Jason smiles at me, "Ana, I had no idea what to do this morning either, I had never seen him like that before, his thermonuclear tantrums I can deal with with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back... but that..." he pauses and shakes his head.

"That was something else entirely, which is why I called you, I know when you are around, he is calm and amenable and I thought you could bring him back somehow, and you did what you thought was right at the time, you called in the professionals, you didn't fail him".

"But I left him alone with Flynn, when he practically begged me to stay with him," I insist.

Taylor leans towards me, "Ana, John Flynn asked you specifically to leave him alone with him, so he could help him - you just followed the advice of the professional , you couldn't have done any more, you called in Flynn and you called in Dr Trevelyan Grey, and you did what you thought was right at the time, so don't beat yourself up about it, as far as I can see you handled things beautifully, you dealt with Mr Grey, you dealt with your own work making sure you were covered at Cross Publishing, you dealt with the issue's that caused Mr Grey's meltdown and " he pauses and grins, "you dealt with that idiot Olivia".

He stands to leave, "You dealt with everything that was thrown at you nobody could ask for anything more of you" he says and leaves me alone to think.

I decide to go to find Christian, as I head to his office I hear music playing and I stop and listen trying to identify what he is listening to.

I feel tears prickling at my eyelids. I open the door and see him lying flat across his sofa, his arm slung over his eyes, and the other one resting on his chest. As he hears me he lifts his arm and looks up at me.

"What song is that? I've never heard that one before," I ask.

"No, I heard it the other day and it made me think of how I feel about you, I downloaded it and today it feels appropriate, after my meltdown, I'm scared, I thought you had seen me at my worst, but today was another level, I have no idea what happened to me today and I'm scared that now you have seen it, you will think I am too broken, too much of a liability, that you will want to go, leave me and have the chance of a good life with someone normal who deserves you and can give you the life you deserve, not one where you are hounded by the press and tailed by security, I've done that to you I've..."

"Christian stop!" I say.

I walk over and kneel down in front of the sofa, he turns on to his side and props himself up onto his elbow and stares at me, and then he reaches for my face with his hand and caresses it. I grasp his hand tightly.

"I won't leave you, Christian, I love you too much, you need to stop this now, we love each other and we need to stand strong because something is brewing and we need to be rock solid, I need you to be strong Christian, I need you to be by my side, so whatever happens we face it together as one," he nods at that and it gives me the courage to continue.

"I want you to stop descending into a pit of self loathing and recrimination every time something happens, how can you think such things, I love you more than life itself Christian, I want to have a baby with you. Like I said earlier I could be pregnant right now, I want to share my life with you, but to do that I need you to be there for me, not doubting whether or not you are good enough for me, or if something happens that you are going to lose me, because I tell you right now, I aint going anywhere, there are only two things that will make me pack my bags and go without looking back and that is if you cheat on me or if you hit me in anger".

Christian is sitting bolt upright now, "Never" he whispers, "I could never cheat on you, you are my life, and as for hit you I couldn't hurt you intentionally I don't have it in me to, I lost you once that way, I am not going through that again," he says and reaches forward to pull me closer.

As he takes me into his arms he lifts me and pulls me on to his lap. "Talk to me Ana, you said something is brewing."

I sigh and tell him about Jose meeting my mother at the airport and her leaving with him, and Taylor's fears about what could happen.

"He told you about the mail and the surveillance footage?" Christian asks stiffly.

I pull away and look at him, "yes he did and I am really pissed with you for keeping it from me, if I am to be safe, I need to know the extent of the threats against me, Jose as far as I was concerned was a dear friend, but Taylor has made me see it could be much more sinister than that, you can't keep these things from me Christian, and before you fire him, Taylor is going to tell you about Jose being with my mother, but with everything else that has gone on today, he felt it best to speak to me first, especially considering it was me who asked him to find the whereabouts of my mom," I stop and stare him down.

I watch as he thinks about that and then capitulates with a nod, "Good point well made as usual Mrs Grey, why did you ask Taylor to find out where your mother was?" he asks.

I realise he doesn't know about the call from Bob and I sigh, "I got a call from Bob, she had called him and asked to go home to Georgia, he said yes, but she never arrived and he was worried, so he called me and asked if I had seen her, and so I called Taylor to see if he could find out anything and she was seen at the airport, she had obviously checked in as there was a record of her on the flight to Atlanta but she never took the flight, she met up with Jose and left the airport with him".

"I see" Christian says thoughtfully.

"So, if they are cooking something up together, if Jose is as infatuated with me as Taylor believes and then he gets an earful of mom's warped opinion of you, who knows what will happen," I say.

Christian pulls me to him even tighter "I'll protect you baby" he says quietly.

"I know you will" I say, "so, what the hell was that song?" I ask.

Christian laughs, "Haunt Me by Stone Sour" he says, "So will you?" he adds as he buries his nose into my hair.

"Will I what?" I ask.

"Haunt me?" he says.

I laugh, "Only if you do something stupid," I say with a grin.

Christian snorts, "Well I'll take that as a yes then, because I do something stupid regularly," he says wryly.

I shake my head at him, "Aah, you see, but there is stupid and then there is _stupid_, and you always do things for the right reasons, and for that I love you," I say and I plant a swift kiss on his lips.

He immediately deepens the kiss and before I know it I am beneath him on the sofa wondering how the hell it happened!

**Song: Haunt Me by Stone Sour **


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

When we eventually emerge from Christian's study and after we have showered and cleaned ourselves up, I realise I have to call Bob and tell him my mother never actually caught the flight to Georgia.

Christian comes with me and sits beside me as I call him.

"Hello" Bob says as he answers the call.

"Hi Bob it's Ana" I say as I mentally prepare how I am going to break the news to him.

In the end I decide to dive straight in and take the approach that Kate took when she told me about how my mom had behaved towards me when I married Christian. I'm not going to sugar coat it as there is no polite way to tell him that my self-centred mom changed her mind and decided not to bother returning to Georgia after she had begged him to take her back. I don't want to be the one to tell him this but then again Kate didn't want to have to tell me what my mother had done previously either, she managed it so, so can I.

"Bob, after you called I had Christian's security team look into where mom disappeared to… and it would seem she never boarded the flight in Seattle as security footage at the airport shows her checking in and on the way to the departure lounge she met up with someone and then left the airport with him, so basically she changed her mind and didn't bother to tell you" I say bitterly and then I stop and wait for his response to that.

"Oh… I see", is the stunned reply.

"I'm really sorry Bob," I say sincerely.

I hear a resigned sigh, "No, don't apologise Ana, It's not your fault and please thank your husband's team for checking things out for me and finding out what happened, it was good of them to go to the trouble" he pauses and sighs again.

"So, I guess this is goodbye then, I won't be taken for a ride. I knew she was always a selfish person but she begged me to take her back and then minutes later to completely disregard that and go off with someone else just shows exactly what sort of person she really is, I know she's your mom and I apologise if I have offended you but…" he trails off and I feel compelled to speak so I quickly jump in.

"Do not apologise to me Bob and you haven't offended me. I have lived with that sort of behaviour all my life, I have lost count of the times she has let me down so I know exactly what sort of person she is" I say.

There is a brief pause as he seems to consider what I have said. "I will start divorce proceedings immediately, which means I probably won't see you again, I just want you to know that I was proud to be your step dad, you are a good girl Ana and I wish you well whatever happens in your life," he says sincerely.

I swallow hard, and in that moment I wish I had got to know him better than I did, "Thank you Bob, and I'm really sorry she treated you so badly, but don't take it personally, she treats everyone including me like that" I say bitterly.

I hear a little snort at that, "I know, I berated her for not attending your college graduation, yes I'd hurt my ankle, but that shouldn't have stopped her going. If she really wanted to go she could have gone and I was furious when she had used me as an excuse not to, she just didn't want to bother" he says.

"I know the bottom line is she didn't care, but the really sad thing is I probably would have been more shocked if she had turned up. I expected her to cry off at the last moment, as it's what she has always done" I say and then I take a deep breath and decide to leave this conversation on a more positive note.

"Listen Bob, if you need anything any time don't hesitate to call me ok?" I say.

"Thank you Ana, I'll remember that" he says, "I'll let you get on now, you take care of yourself, goodbye Ana" he says.

"Bye Bob" I say and I hang up.

Christian looks carefully at me, "Are you ok?" he asks warily.

I nod, "Yes I am, I feel sorry for Bob as he is a good man and didn't deserve how she treated him, he said is starting divorce proceedings" I say.

Christian nods and wraps his arm around my shoulder. We are disturbed by my phone ringing; I glance at it and as I see the name on the screen my heart leaps and I smile and quickly answer.

"Hi dad!" I say brightly.

"Annie are you alright?" I hear Ray's voice filled with concern and worry.

An icy cold feeling washes over me and I am immediately on alert, "Yes, I'm fine why wouldn't I be?" I ask. Christian is watching me closely and so I quickly put the call on speaker so he can hear what is being said.

My dad doesn't beat around the bush and quickly explains the reason for his call.

"I got a call from Jose, he said that he is worried about you, he said he had tried to contact you several times and had received no response from you. He said he had spoken to Christian and he said he had refused to let him speak to you and he said that he was worried you were being controlled by Christian and that he was trying to separate you from your friends and family".

What the fuck?! I glance at Christian who is shaking his head in denial at the allegations being voiced.

I sigh, now I am really pissed, "Dad listen to me. I can assure you Jose hasn't tried to call me at all. However, I know what this is all about and it's a long story, but I think it would be best if we come and see you, and we will explain everything to you. I have been made aware of the fact that Jose has had a thing about me for a while. I always looked on him as a friend and nothing more. There was one occasion where he tried to kiss me when we were at a bar and I said no and tried to push him off but he wouldn't listen and kept trying to stick his tongue down my throat, and if Christian hadn't arrived and saw what was happening and stepped in, I'm not sure what would have happened. Taylor has eyes on him, as he believes some of the things he has been doing smack of being a stalker, and that he is infatuated with me… and there are other things which I really don't want to go into over the phone," I say as I recall the creepy photographs.

"I see, well this changes everything considerably" Ray says.

"Actually instead of you coming to me, could you or Christian send someone to bring me to you, I need to know what's going on, and I'm going stir crazy in this place?" he asks.

I turn to Christian who is already texting someone and moments later Ryan appears. I hear Christian tell Ryan to go to the rehab facility at the hospital and pick up my father.

I return my attention back to my stepfather, "Dad, Christian is sending a car for you now, and Ryan with be with you shortly ok?" I say.

"Ok, thank you" he replies. We end the call and I rest my head on Christian's shoulder.

A short while later my father walks into the apartment, he is making excellent progress and is walking well with his stick now, although he is still in considerable pain. He sees me and opens his arms and I walk into them.

"Hi daddy" I say as I help him to a seat.

Christian walks over and grasps Ray's hand before helping him steady himself as he sits down, Christian takes my fathers walking stick and places it out of the way.

"Thank you son," my father says then he looks at me, "Right then, tell me everything" he says firmly.

I nod and go and find Taylor and tell him what has happened, and ask him to fill in my dad on the details, he nods and a moment later he appears with a file with photographs of stills of the security cameras taken from the airport and Gail also appears with some drinks and snacks for us.

I take a deep breath and start my story. I tell how my mother had called and how she had behaved when we were out last Sunday and Taylor fills in the details from his perspective. I go on to tell how she said she was returning to Georgia but Bob called to say she had never arrived and how I had phoned Taylor to see if he could establish what had happened to my mother and how he had discovered she had been seen leaving the airport with none other than Jose.

Taylor then goes into detail about the packages Jose had sent me, and how it is protocol that all packages are screened for threats before we receive them because of Christian's high profile, and how Jose had always been seen around when I had been out anywhere, and he had been seen following my car to Cross Publishing. Taylor shares his concerns, how he believes Jose has an obsession with me, and his concerns that now that my mother is with him and feeding him untrue details of what she perceives to be Christian keeping me from my family, that things could escalate, and he points out that Jose seems to have started doing just that now by involving Ray. Ray sits with his mouth open, and when everyone has finished speaking he just shakes his head.

"I swear to you dad Christian hasn't done anything wrong, yes he protects me and he worries about my safety and yes he has a security team to help keep me safe, but he hasn't tried to separate me from my family and friends. I still see Kate, and my mother has separated herself with her behaviour, but I am always seeing you and talking to you, and would Christian have sent a car for you tonight if he was trying to separate me from you?"

I am getting angrier the more I think about things, and defensive of my husband.

Christian notices this, smiles at me and squeezes my leg, "Ray I promise you I have done nothing but be supportive of Ana's relationship with her family and friends," he says firmly.

Ray nods, "I believe you son" he says simply, "but having said that it would appear that we have a problem on our hands".

He pauses, almost as though he is working something out, then he looks at Christian again and continues, "Jose does have a history of obsessive behaviour, his father confided in me about previous girls he had taken a liking to and obsessed over until he was threatened with and sometimes got as far as being slapped with restraining orders. He told me because he was worried, when he met you Ana, as he didn't want that to happen to you, but as Jose knew I was an old buddy of his father and the fact you never gave him any indication that he was any more than a friend to you, whereas these other girls had been ex girlfriends, we both figured that you would be ok, but it would appear not, and now if he has Carla whispering in his ear and feeding that obsession, things could get nasty".

Taylor immediately pays attention to this revelation and leans forward, "Mr Steele, can you get us any information on these previous girlfriends Jose had for example dates and names?" he says.

Ray nods, but frowns slightly, "Jason how many times do I have to tell you call me Ray" he grumbles as he thumbs through his contact list and calls a number and I smile at his irritated reaction.

"I'll call Jose senior and see if he'll tell me," he adds as he lifts his phone to his ear.

A moment later he smiles, "Jose, how are you man? Good, good... listen... remember what you told me about young Jose, about his obsessive behaviour with girls he meets. I know you confided in me but it seems that he has been stalking my Annie and obviously her husband isn't too thrilled about it and neither am I for that matter... no... well I know that and you know that, and Annie never gave him any indication that he was anything other than a friend. So anyway, my reason for calling is, can you remember the names of the other girls he stalked, the reason I ask is Carla is with him for some unknown reason and if she is whispering in his ear things could get nasty, as she doesn't really get on with Ana's husband... yeah... long story... yeah... that's fine I'll wait."

Ray puts his hand over the phone and speak to us. "He is going to get his diaries" he says. A few moments later Ray nods and looks directly at Taylor who picks up a pen and notepad.

Ray listens to Jose senior and repeats what he is being told, and as he talks Taylor is scribbling everything that he says, "Ok then restraining orders placed on Jose 2 years ago, Tanya Harlow, Julie Bennett, Brandi Marriott, Melissa Torrance and Helen Burbage, 3 years ago restraining orders placed on Jose, Marie Jarvis, Leila Williams and Deanna Johnson. Thank you Jose, you have been very helpful". Ray looks up and I am shocked at the number of girls who felt so unsafe that they issued restraining orders against him.

I see Christian react and look up sharply and I see him look at Taylor when the last but one name is mentioned, and Taylor also reacts to it as well looking directly at Christian at the same time, unfortunately Ray sees it too.

"What was with the last but one girl on the list… erm, Leila Williams?" he says staring directly at Christian. At this point, Taylor gets up and excuses himself and discreetly leaves the room.

Christian glances at me and then looks down, I see the familiar shame cross his face, "Leila was... she was" he stammers I jump in to help him as I have guessed she must have been one of his subs.

"Christian, was she one of your ex's?" I ask gently.

He looks at me and nods, and then looks at Ray carefully.

Ray smiles kindly at him, "Well that's nothing to worry about son, everyone has a past, I don't think Annie will hold it against you for having a girlfriend who also knew Jose, and I'm not going to berate you for it".

I smile and grip Christian's hand. She was obviously one of his subs and he doesn't want Ray to know about that part of his life. So I am surprised when he continues to speak.

"I didn't really have girlfriends before Ana, they were... just... sexual partners," he says.

Ray smiles again, and waves his hand, "Hey Christian, all young men are allowed to sow some wild oats!"

We are sitting chatting and relaxing when Taylor returns and coughs discreetly, Christian turns towards him.

"Sir you have some visitors," he says trying to suppress a grin.

"Who is it?" Christian asks standing up.

"Us!" comes the reply as Eva and Gideon come striding in.

I am up on my feet and hugging Eva and I turn to Gideon who is embracing Christian and speaking quietly with him. He sees me and hugs me tightly.

"Hi" he says with a grin.

He spots Ray and quickly walks towards him and greets him warmly and then sits down beside him. Ray struggles to get up and Gideon immediately stands again to help him and before I can react, Christian is at his other side.

"I'll get going then now, thanks for putting me straight" Ray says.

"You don't have to leave on our account" Gideon says.

Ray shakes his head, "No I'm getting tired, I want to turn in so I should be getting back," he says with a grin.

"Then stay," Christian says immediately, "Take a spare room and we'll get you back to the rehab tomorrow morning," he says.

"Are you sure son?" Ray asks clearly tempted by the offer.

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it" Christian says firmly, then reaching for Ray's stick, he helps him climb the stairs to the guest room. I watch them go, I smile as I watch Christian caring for my father and helping him, but all the while letting my father keep his dignity. A few moments later Christian returns and heads to our bedroom and then comes out with a pair of pyjamas and takes them up to Ray.

Eventually he comes down and sits beside me, "he is in bed now," he says.

"Thank you" I say, "my dad would have been mortified if I had offered to help him".

Christian shrugs off my thanks dismissively and turns his attention to Gideon and Eva.

"So what brings you here two days early?" Christian asks, looking at Gideon questioningly.

"After Ana phoned me and told me what had happened, we dropped everything and flew out to see if we could be any help, my team have already arrived and they have made themselves known to Welch and offered their services to him... how are you now?" Gideon looks at Christian closely as he asks this.

Christian cocks his head to one side, slightly embarrassed as he responds to that, "Better than this morning, I had the mother of all meltdowns and made quite the show of myself" he says.

"It's been quite a day" I say, Christian wraps his arm around me and hugs me tightly.

"You can say that again baby" he says, he looks at Gideon's questioning look and proceeds to tell him about the reason why Ray is here and the situation with Jose and Carla. Gideon shakes his head and Eva looks stunned.

"I knew it, I said he had the hots for you Ana, but stalking, that's not cool," she says.

I nod in agreement, "Tell me about it, Ray called Jose Senior and got a long list of girls he has stalked before who took out restraining orders on him, I think Taylor is going to try and track them down and approach them to see what happened" I say.

"May I have a copy of the list and perhaps my team can help him track them down?" Gideon asks.

Christian calls Taylor and asks for the list of girls Jose stalked, Taylor pulls out his notebook and hands it to Christian, who gives it Gideon to read.

"Fuck" Gideon exclaims, and we all turn and look at him.

"What is it baby?" Eva asks him and she looks down at the list of names.

"Deanna Johnson," Gideon replies and looks at her knowingly.

Eva's mouth drops open in shock, "you are fucking kidding me?" she says.

"What?" Christian and I say together.

Eva turns and looks at us, "Deanna Johnson is the name of a reporter who ironically, has been stalking Gideon. She slept with him in the past and can't handle casual sex and so she has been trying repeatedly to get to him and get dirt on him, and she has been hounding me in the process, I wonder if it is the same person?" she says.

Gideon quickly notes down the names and text's them to Raul with a short message. "Well considering all the other links we have between us it wouldn't surprise me," he says without looking up from his phone.

As Christian, Eva and Gideon sit and talk I am thinking, I go through the events of today, my mind is racing and I feel the need to do something, I stand up and walk away and I go into our bedroom and start pacing thinking and working things out. I can see only one way out as far as Jose and my mother is concerned, and its something Christian isn't going to like. I head back out and walk into him in the corridor.

"Are you ok baby? I was just looking for you," Christian says giving me a concerned look. I nod confidently and pull him back into the great room where Eva and Gideon are still sitting.

"Sit down," I say pointing to the seat. Christian sits down his eyebrows raised at my decisive tone as I walk past him and out into the security office. Luke and Taylor are there and they both stand when I enter.

"Hi guys can you come out a moment, I have had an idea I want to run by everyone and I need your opinion" I say.

They both nod and follow me out to the great room, they take a seat on the sofa as I pace around getting my thoughts in some sort of order.

"Right, ok, I have an idea and I want to run it past everyone. My mother thinks Christian is trying to control me and keep me from my family, and now it appears she has enlisted Jose, now Jose was my friend, or so I thought, until Jason told me about the weird stuff he has been sending me and the fact he has been stalking me. He has also been telling my father lies, saying he has tried to contact me and not able to, now first of all before we go any further I need to know - has he tried to contact me and been barred from doing so?" I stop and stare around the room. Both Jason and Luke shake their heads, but Christian looks down at the ground, and my heart sinks as I see his reaction.

I sigh and rub my eyes, "Christian, what did you do?" I ask, in resigned tone.

His head sweeps up and his grey eyes meet mine, "he only called once to talk to you and I was surprised he called me rather than you and told him you were unavailable, but I wasn't stopping him from talking to you, you were unavailable. It was the night you went out with Eva while we were in New York when we returned from honeymoon, and I was with Gideon at our New York apartment".

I recall that night and nod, I had switched off my own cell phone that night as we had been given the emergency ones to use and I remember how panicked Christian was when he couldn't contact me when it all kicked off with Nathan. I return my attention back to Christian.

"He asked me to tell you he had called, but then with everything that went down that night with Nathan Barker I forgot, I'm sorry baby, I don't like the guy but I didn't not tell you on purpose I just forgot," he says earnestly and I nod, believing him and accepting his explanation.

"Ok, but there was no other time apart from that one?" I ask and Christian shakes his head.

"No" he says firmly.

I nod, "Ok good, well now I have established that I am going to tell you what I am going to do, I am going to visit him" I state and I hold my hand up to silence Christian who immediately opens his mouth to protest.

"Let me finish, I am going to go and visit him, I am not supposed to know my mother is with him, so I will have the element of surprise right there. I want to confront him about the stuff he sent me and about what he said to my father, I want to put him straight and to tell him to stay out of my life, and if I get the chance to tell my mother the same thing as well while I am there, then all well and good".

I look around the room and wait for the reaction, and I don't have to wait long.

"Baby I don't like this," Christian says standing and walking towards me, "What if he does something?" he adds.

I look up at Christian, "What can he do? I will hold all the cards as he isn't expecting me, and I'm not about to go in there unprepared. I was thinking of going with Kate as she has known Jose as long as I have and obviously I will take Luke with me, but he won't come in".

I see the conflict going on inside Christian and he looks at Jason, "What do you think Taylor?" he asks.

I hold my breath but I needn't worry as Jason nods in total agreement.

"Personally, I think it's a damn good idea. They are not high risk perps, just damned annoying and as such they take our attention and resources from other security risks which could prove to be a higher priority. If Mrs Grey can close it down it's one less security issue to worry about, and in my opinion, I really don't think either of them have it in them to harm her" he says. He looks at me and gives me a rare full smile.

Christian paces around his hands going to his hair as he tries to rationalise everything.

"Luke will go with you?" he asks me, and I nod.

"Of course" I say.

He stops pacing and stares at me, I can tell he is struggling with this and then with a huge sigh he finally speaks.

"Ok, but please be careful," he says, I fling my arms around him and kiss him repeatedly.

"Thank you," I whisper in his ear.

"I still don't like it, so don't make me regret my decision," he replies.

I immediately call Kate and tell her everything that Jose has done and how my mother is now possibly staying with him. She agrees immediately to come with me and suggests the very next day as she is off work for the rest of this week. I agree as I want to strike quickly to put an end to this once and for all, not to mention because I want to do it while I know there is a chance that my mother is there as well.

When I finish my call to Kate I head back into the great room. "Sorted" I say with a grin, "Kate is up for it, which I knew she would be but the thing is she wants to go tomorrow" I glance at Gideon apologetically, "which means I need to take the day off".

Gideon laughs and waves his hand dismissively. "Ana after your call today, I didn't expect you to be back in the rest of the week, before I left New York I called Seattle and gave instructions for Damien to provide cover until Monday".

"Thank you" I say gratefully then I look at Eva next, "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come with me, but he knows Kate and it seems more natural to take her with me," I say.

Eva shakes her head, "You don't have to explain, it is obvious you would take Kate with you, if you were going to take anyone, plus if I went when I am supposed to be living in New York it would look odd. But I couldn't go anyway as I am going to be busy checking out our new Seattle apartment!" she says with a grin.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that, is it done, is it ready?" I ask excitedly.

Eva nods, "It's gorgeous, and I'm sorry Christian but its loads nicer than Escala" she says with a giggle.

Christian laughs "Well, I can't wait to come and see it, and if it is so much nicer than Escala I may have to buy it from Gideon, as I can't have my best friend having a better place than me!"

"Why not come round tomorrow, and we can hear all about Ana's visit to Portland?" Gideon says.

"Perfect!" Christian replies, and then he turns to me, "Actually, I will fly you down to Portland in Charlie Tango, Taylor can come with me and I can visit WSU while I am there see how they are getting on with the grant I gave them".

I smile, I know Christian would want to be involved somehow and would want to be in the area, not stuck back here in Seattle worrying so visiting the university has given him the perfect excuse.

The next day its all systems go, before Ryan takes my dad back to the rehab centre at the hospital, I go through with him what I am going to do today.

He listens carefully and asks a number of intelligent questions as to how I am going to stay safe, I assure him I will be fine and that I won't be alone.

"Annie, I wish I could come with you, there are a few choice words I would like to say to young Jose myself for lying to me and for making such a nuisance of himself, and if Carla is there too that would be the icing on the cake as I would love to give her a piece of my mind for the way she has treated you" he says, finally satisfied that I will be fine.

He leans towards me and hugs me tightly and wishes me luck. I savour the moment as Ray isn't a really touchy feely kind of person and gestures like this are rare. Christian helps walk Ray to the elevator and I see them talking together, and I see Christian nodding sincerely and I wonder what is going on so when Christian returns and pulls me into his arms I ask him.

"What was all that about with my dad?" I ask.

Christian sighs, "He was just warning me that if ever he heard anything about the way I treat you that turned out to be true, no amount of security would stop him," Christian says soberly.

I roll my eyes and laugh, but Christian shakes his head at me. "No baby, its no more than I would expect, and no more than I would deserve if I ever treated you badly".

He holds me close and buries his nose into my hair, we stand like that just drinking each other in until we are disturbed by Taylor who tells us that Kate and Elliot have arrived.

Kate comes marching in looking like she is going into battle, and I can't help but grin at her fierce look.

"Hey Steele, I am so looking forward to this, after you have had your say, can I tell your mom what I think of her, I have so wanted to for years?" she asks eagerly.

I laugh, "We'll see, I don't want to end up in a point scoring situation, I just want to firmly put them in their places and put a stop their games," I say firmly.

Kate nods, "my lips are sealed until you say I can let rip," she says, and then she runs her fingers over her lips as though she is zipping them closed.

I see Elliot with a load of papers and plans under his arm and watch as he just dumps them on the coffee table.

"There you go bro, all the plans for the work you want on the house, as I said it's all pretty straight forward and if I can get the whole crew on it at the beginning of October, I don't see any reason why you can't be in by Christmas".

Christian rifles through the papers and then looks up at Elliot, "Thanks, I'll go through them later, are you off to the site now?" he asks.

Elliot nods, "I am, as I have a small crew there now, doing the preliminary work and all the essential work".

With that he gives me a warm hug and a peck on the cheek and he wishes me luck for today, then he gives Kate a heated look which makes me blush and he pulls her into a hug and gives her a rather passionate kiss, before he eventually pulls away. Christian grins at him and walks away with him to show him out.

A moment later Christian returns looking anxious again, "Ok are we ready?" he asks, I nod as I grab my jacket and we all head out.

The journey is pretty straight forward, I take my usual seat in the front of Charlie Tango with Christian, and Jason is in the back with Kate. Luke has already left, he was long gone first thing this morning as he was going to Portland by car so he is there waiting for us when we land.

When we arrive I feel the adrenaline start to flow, my anger is bubbling just below the surface and I am trying to control it, but I am feeling like a coiled spring. Christian hugs me tightly and kisses me repeatedly before he finally lets me go.

"Don't say or do anything you will regret," he says as he releases me. I can see the worry in his eyes as he turns to leave with Taylor.

I nod but don't say a word.

"Ok let's do this" I say as I climb into the waiting SUV.

As we pull up at Jose's place I see my mother going inside, and Kate nudges me as she sees her.

"Well, that's pretty conclusive, so it looks like we will get two for one then!" I say as I watch the door close.

Kate is going to record what is said on a small recorder and I smile as I recall seeing it, as it is the one I used when I interviewed Christian for her when I first met him, all those months ago but I put that out of my mind as we leave the car. Luke climbs out and hands me a small cell phone, if anything goes down where I feel unsafe, I am to press the speed dial and Luke will come to my aid. I feel this is all a little overkill, but it made Christian feel better about it so I am happy to go along with it.

"Ready?" I ask Kate and she nods at me. I quickly slip the phone into my jeans pocket and we walk towards the door, Kate knocks and I stand out of the way.

The door slowly opens and I hear Jose exclaim when he sees Kate. "Katie! It's so good to see you, come in, are you alone?" he asks.

At these words I step into his line of sight, "No Jose, she's not".

I am happy at the look of confusion and then panic on his face and before he can react I step over the threshold, and push past him.

"Well are you going to invite me in Jose?" I ask as I simply barge my way in.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

We step inside and move into the sitting room, Jose follows us in and as I stand there my mother comes in unaware that I am here she is talking happily to Jose, but she stops dead when she sees me and goes deathly white. I turn and see the uncomfortable look on Jose's face and the reality hits me, oh my god she isn't just staying with Jose, she is _with_ Jose. I look at Kate and see the moment she comes to the same realisation.

I turn to Jose, "Well Jose, you wanted to speak to me so here I am, you didn't have to resort to telling my father lies to get my attention, so what do you want?" I ask.

"Ana, I was worried about you," he whines.

"I heard that you had eloped and married Grey I tried to contact you and couldn't and so I called him and he told me I couldn't speak to you. He is trying to keep your family and friends away from you he isn't right for you".

I go cold at those words, I remember when Elena said the very same words about me when she saw us at the trial and shouted to Christian, telling him I wasn't right for him.

I hold up my hand to silence him, then I hold up one finger as though I am counting, "Jose, one - its none of your god damned business who I am seeing or who I decide to spend my life with, you lost the right to have any say in my life when you started stalking me and sending creepy parcels to me". I pause and hold up a second finger.

"Two - yes I did marry Christian, I married him because I love him with all my heart and we are happy, if you don't like that then tough, get over it". I hold up a third finger.

"Three - yes I know full well that you rang Christian wanting to speak to me, he wasn't keeping you from me, you couldn't speak to me that particular night because I wasn't fucking there! We were in New York and I was on a girl's night out with Kate and my other friend Eva, and I had switched off my cell phone. Christian told me you had called but to be perfectly honest with you, I didn't want to speak to you after the disgusting things you had sent me" I know that is a slight variation on the truth but he doesn't need to know that, I pause again and I see Jose flush slightly.

"Why did you take photographs of me undressing in my room when I lived with Kate? What part of that is anything other than totally wrong and totally fucking perverted? What made you think I would want cotton panties through the mail?" I lean closer to him and whisper in his ear "My husband buys me silk, they are much nicer".

I pull away and stop and stare at Jose questioningly but he is speechless, as is my mother. She is staring at him with a horrified expression on her face. I acknowledge her reaction with a nod and then gesture towards her.

"She's a bit old for you isn't she? What's the matter, couldn't get the girl so you go for the mother?" I spit at him. I see by the look on his face I have hit the nail on the head, unfortunately so does my mother.

I turn to Carla and shake my head, "Jose has a track record of obsessing about girls, and he has a mile long list of restraining orders against him from girls he has stalked. You do have a knack of picking them don't you Carla?!" I watch as she just stands opening and shutting her mouth like a goldfish, but I continue with my tirade.

"The decent men you leave high and dry though, Ray and Bob didn't deserve the way you treated them, oh and by the way just so you know Bob is filing for divorce as he didn't take too kindly to waiting at the airport for you and you not turning up". I hear her gasp at this but I ignore it.

"Right then, I am going to say this once and I am not going to say it again, so I suggest you both listen and you both listen well. I love my husband, Christian loves me, he does not control me and he does not separate me from my family and friends. However, what he does do is protect me from people who want to hurt me. Jose you have stalked me, and sent disgusting things in the mail to me, told lies about me and Christian to my father, all these things hurt me and that upset my husband and so he protected me from you" I turn towards my mother who is just staring at me wide eyed.

"Carla, you have hurt me my entire life. You always picked yourself first and you don't have a maternal bone in your body. I always thought it was me, that I did something wrong but Carla you are the one to blame. You make the choices in life which have repercussions and the fact that I don't need your scraps anymore and I am happy and settled burns you with jealousy, as you liked how you just kept me on a string, giving it a little yank every now and again to make me feel guilty or to throw me a scrap of attention. Well no more Carla, in Christian I have the most wonderful husband in the world, and in Ray I have the most wonderful father in the world. In Grace I have the most wonderful mother in law in the world, who has shown me how a mother is supposed to behave, I also now have an extended family, a father in law, and a brother and sister in law, and I have my _real_ friends".

I glance at Kate as I say this and wave my hand towards her, "I have Kate who has stood by my side since college and I have Gideon and Eva, who when I called them yesterday needing help, dropped everything and flew to Seattle from New York. So I have no room in my life for people who don't really care about me, who don't really want to be there and who don't really give a damn".

I stop speaking and look at Jose and my mother who are both standing looking completely astounded. I am not surprised, they have never heard me stand up for myself so completely and so decisively. I take a deep breath and bring my little speech to a close.

"Now I am going to leave and I genuinely wish you happiness, with whatever you both choose to do with your lives. Please, do not _ever_ contact me again because I don't need you and I don't want you in my life, unless you truly want to be there and I really don't think you do".

I turn to walk away and then stop and hold up my finger as if I have remembered something.

"Oh, and just one more thing. I have not been brainwashed or lied to, or controlled by Christian. I worked all this out by myself, in fact Christian wants me to have a relationship with you both and he advised me not to say or do anything I would possibly regret today but I don't regret cutting either of you out of my life, because neither of you deserve to be there". With that I turn and go to leave.

"NO" Jose roars and he rushes towards me, and goes to grab me.

Everything happens at once, my mother screams, Kate yells and I just react. I grab Jose's arm and twist it in a direction it's really not supposed to go. I hear a loud crack and he howls in pain. I yank my hand free and press speed dial one and seconds later the door bursts open and Luke enters with his gun drawn. He takes in the room and pushes it away again when he sees Jose howling in pain on the floor and he smirks at him before looking at me questioningly.

"I think I broke his arm," I say sheepishly.

"I'm sure he deserved it Mrs Grey" he says.

He pulls up Jose and checks his arm out, "It's not broken, it's dislocated, Luke looks at it and then giving Jose an evil grin he tells him to stand still then holding his arm he yanks it, Jose howls in pain again but his arm is now looking better.

My mother is motionless she hasn't said a word or made a sound apart from the scream she let out when Jose grabbed me and she is just looking at me as if she has no idea who I am.

I look around one final time, "Right Kate, Luke and I are going now, if either of you dare do anything or say anything again I won't be so reasonable next time," and with that I turn to leave.

"Ana please, I love you" my mother calls pitifully.

I stop and snort loudly at that and then I turn and give her a small shake of my head, and a derisive look.

"No you don't" I whisper, and without another word I leave.

Kate wraps her arm around me when we get outside.

"Too much?" I ask her.

Kate shakes her head, "No way, you were magnificent!"

I quickly send a text to Christian.

_**All done, all good, love you xx**_

His response is instant.

_**Good, I love you baby xx**_

When we all get back to Seattle Kate plays the recording of what happened, Taylor and Christian listen carefully and I see them both smile.

Christian looks afraid and then angry when he hears the kafuffle when Jose launched at me, "What did he do, did he hurt you?" he asks anxiously.

Kate laughs loudly at that, "More like Ana hurt him, we turned to leave and he tried to stop us he grabbed Ana's arm and she dislocated his for him, Luke had to pop it back in for him" she says proudly.

"What do you think? Admittedly I stretched the truth a little in places but I think I got across what I wanted to say?" I say looking from Christian to Jason and back again.

"You did very well Mrs Grey; I do think you got your message across loud and clear. It remains to be seen if you have shut it down completely but in my opinion I don't think you will be hearing from Jose again any time soon, but I'm sure your mother will be in touch again at some point".

I snort, "Yeah, when she wants something" I say bitterly.

My phone rings and I answer it, I am surprised when I hear Bob's voice.

"Hi Bob what's wrong?" I ask.

"Hi Ana, I just thought I'd warn you, Carla just called me, she begged me to forgive her and I said no and told her I was filing for a divorce. She said she had nowhere to go, I told her that was not my problem. So I am just giving you a heads up in case she tries to worm her way in with you and Christian".

I laugh, "I doubt she will call me Bob, but thanks for letting me know," I say.

After Kate leaves we get ready to go to Gideon and Eva's new apartment, it is literally just down the road from us and when we arrive Christian goes to the desk and the young security guard beams at him.

"Hello Mr Grey, Mr Cross is expecting you so please go on up, you will need this, but in future you won't have to check in here when you visit, as you and Mrs Grey have been placed on the approved visitors list".

I watch as he hands Christian a sealed envelope with 'Christian' written on the front in Gideon's distinctive handwriting. Christian thanks him and we step into the elevator. Christian opens the envelope and he reads the piece of paper and then taps in a code and the elevator takes us directly up to the penthouse. The doors open into an expansive lobby and standing there are Gideon and Eva grinning at us.

Christian looks around, "Hmm very nice," he says and he looks at Eva, "but Escala is better," he says and he winks at her.

Eva nods, "I'll give you that, your lobby is better but you don't live the lobby, you wait till you get inside here," she says and she grasps my hand and pulls me towards a main front door.

"I like this" I say, as I take it in.

"It's more secure than Escala, you have a lockable front door you don't exit the elevator directly into the apartment, because that is how it seems at Escala," I say, and I see Christian nod in agreement.

I gasp as I walk in, it's huge and tastefully decorated in warm colours, unlike Escala which is cold and like an art gallery, this feels like a home.

"I love it" I say, "How did you pull all this together so quickly?" I ask surprised at just how homely everything looks.

Gideon laughs, "When you have the name Cross, things get done quickly. You will learn that now you have the name Grey" he says.

I sit on a large comfortable sofa with Eva as Gideon takes Christian to show him his office and security room.

"So how did it go?"Eva asks.

I go through the events of the day and tell her everything that happened, "So I doubt I will be hearing from Jose again or my mother, until she wants something" I say with a shrug.

Eva looks at me sympathetically and shakes her head, "It's sad, I'd be devastated if my mother was like that, she drives me to distraction, but I know I can always count on her".

I nod "but I have my dad for that, I know he is there and always has my best interests at heart, and now I have Grace as well, she has been more of a mother to me in the short time I have known her than my own mother has ever been" I say.

"That's nice but still also quite sad at the same time" Eva says.

Something seems off with Eva tonight and I can't place what it is, "Are you ok?" I ask.

Eva sighs, "I don't know Ana, Gideon was asking about getting married, he has been dropping hints for weeks, and I kept telling him we weren't ready but I have been thinking about it and now I am getting used to the idea, but guess what he has stopped mentioning it, so I don't know what to do now?"

She looks at me and I am desperately trying to keep my face neutral.

"Well, I suggest you leave things until you both get back to New York and then sit him down and talk to him about it, and just see what he says, just tell him you are warming to the idea and that you want to discuss it with him," I say.

I watch as she smiles and nods, "Yeah I'll do that, thanks Ana," she says gratefully.

She seems to brighten considerably after that and I am glad she has taken my advice, even though it was pointless, and after the weekend totally irrelevant.

"So, I have to ask you, has Gideon said anything to you about Saturday?" Eva asks brightly, and I swallow hard wondering what she means, as it obviously can't be the proposal she is talking about. I try and play it cool and let out a little laugh.

"Erm... no, unless he is planning on doing something spectacular for my birthday," I say with a grin, knowing full well he isn't, as he doesn't know when my birthday is.

Eva's eyes widen at that, "it's your birthday on Saturday?" she asks and I nod.

I had been totally delighted that Gideon had chosen my birthday to propose to Eva, Christian had originally wanted to make it a massive double celebration but I had told him that I didn't want to usurp their special moment and after all, we would all be celebrating altogether afterwards and that was enough for me.

Eva shakes her head and laughs, "I don't fucking believe all the links and coincidences between us all!" she exclaims.

I stare at her wondering what she means, "it's Gideon's birthday on Saturday too, but obviously he hasn't told you that," she explains.

"Nooo!" I say, totally amazed by this revelation, and my mind starts working as I quickly wonder what we can pull together to celebrate that fact, a fact which he had neglected to tell us.

"It is, but he doesn't really bother about his birthday, he said he has never really acknowledged it, which is kind of sad when you think about it, but also explains why he didn't tell you. I just wanted to make sure, that is why I was phishing, I wanted to know if he had said anything. Anyway, less of the weird links and connections, and Gideon being a birthday party pooper, do you have any news for me apart from all the shit that has been shovelled your way the past few days?" Eva asks.

I laugh, "Erm... Christian and I have decided to start trying for a baby," I say quietly.

"Oh" Eva says in surprise, "Are you ready? I mean with what you went through and everything?" she says.

I nod, "it means a lot to both of us, I figured out all the pros and cons before and I am in a totally different situation this time around, hopefully I won't miscarry again and we will be parents or I will at least be pregnant by this time next year!"

"Well I hope so too, as you both deserve it" Eva says kindly.

We carry on chatting and after what seems like an eternity Christian and Gideon reappear. I am guessing they have been talking about the plans for the proposal, I know Christian has been working hard arranging everything.

I remember Eva's words about Gideon's birthday and I stand up and I march up to him and stand in front of him with my hands on my hips. Gideon looks at me in surprise and so does Christian. Eva just bursts out laughing at my behaviour, before coming to join me.

"So Gideon, when were you going to tell us it is your birthday on Saturday?" I ask as I lean forward and poke him in the chest. Christian's head whips around and he stares wide eyed at his friend.

"It's your birthday?" Christian gasps.

Gideon flushes slightly but doesn't say anything but he raises his eyebrows and gives Eva an accusing look.

Eva pipes up at this point, "Hey, Ana has no room to talk, as guess who else is celebrating their birthday on Saturday?" she says and she gestures towards me with her thumb.

It's Gideon's turn now to look amazed and he fixes his blue eyed gaze firmly on me, "It's your birthday on Saturday?" he asks and all I can do is nod.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he says and I burst out laughing, and raise my eyebrows at him, giving him a 'right back at you' look.

He glances briefly at Eva and then returns his gaze to me, "Well now, it looks like Saturday is going to be a massive celebration all round then," he says.

I give him a hard stare and decide to change the subject, "so, where's the kitchen in this place?" I ask.

Gideon laughs, "This way" he says nodding his head towards a door.

Eva walks up to Christian and grasps his hand, "come and see the view from the guestrooms" she says, and pulls Christian away.

I turn to Gideon as he leads me into the kitchen.

"Wow" I say as I take in the huge kitchen.

"Yeah its something else isn't it," Gideon says proudly, he turns towards me, "I can't believe we share the same birthday" he says.

I shake my head, "no, but I suppose with all the other links between us, something like this would be inevitable".

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asks me again.

I shrug, "I didn't want to upstage you, I didn't want to steal your thunder, you are asking Eva to marry you, I think that trumps my birthday!" I say with a grin and nudge him with my shoulder.

When he doesn't say anything, I turn towards him and he looks at me and I see the fear and apprehension about his decision to ask Eva to marry him.

"What if she says no Ana? I don't think I could stand it if she rejected me," he says.

I smile at him, "She won't, she loves you, trust me on this she wants to marry you," I say and pat his cheek playfully.

Gideon grasps my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. I try and lighten the heavy atmosphere that has fallen over us.

"Besides, she won't say no, it's your birthday!" I add with a grin. I see a reluctant smile pull at his lips as I say that, but he doesn't let go of my hand.

I watch as he tries to shake off the negative thoughts he is having and for a moment I think he has managed it.

"You do realise I am not going to let this occasion go unmarked, we will celebrate in style, my birthday, your birthday and my engagement to Eva" he says confidently.

I roll my eyes and sigh, "Alright, if you insist" I say sarcastically and I look up at him hoping to see an amused smile on his face, but instead he is just looking at me intently.

"What is it Gideon?" I ask gently, I am still sensing something isn't quite right here.

"You are a very special woman Ana and Christian is a very lucky man. I want what he has, I want that happiness that radiates from him when he sees you, I want that with Eva, since she came into my life I felt complete, like there was a missing part of me and now its there and I am whole, I want everything, I want marriage, babies the whole nine yards, I want to grow old with her and watch our grandchildren play". I watch his eyes glisten as he says this.

"You will" I whisper to him.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

**(GIDEON)**

_Saturday Morning..._

I awaken in our new apartment in Seattle and I feel full of nervous energy. I think about what Ana said to me, how Eva loves me and how certain she was that Eva will say yes. She sounded so confident about that, so sure and so certain then I realise, the girls must have been discussing marriage and Eva must have told her that she wants to take the next step with me.

I feel suddenly in no doubt that I am doing the right thing and that Eva will say yes. I glance at the clock. It's nearly 8:30am, I am lying in bed and thinking how I wish Eva could wake up with me, I really need to do something about these nightmares and the things they make me do. I have been talking with Christian about it, and once again he has urged me to speak to Dr Flynn, Christian has a lot of faith in him and I'm sure I would be safe, but I have an understandable lingering fear and distrust of therapists. I am distracted as the door opens and Eva peeps in she smiles at me and I am immediately hard as stone, I open my arms and she runs to me and clambers on to the bed and throws herself on me.

"Good morning Angel," I whisper in her ear and nuzzle her neck gently.

"Good morning Ace," she replies, and she shuffles until she is straddling me. I harden even more and I am desperate to be inside her and my hands move restlessly over her body.

"Happy birthday!" she whispers to me and then she kisses me softly, I smile and hold her tightly.

"Thank you Angel," I say with a small smile.

This is the reason I want to propose to her today, I want to have just one birthday in my life which I have a good memory of, one which I can look back on with fondness as being a good day, as all my adult life birthdays seem to have become an amalgam of me completely ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist. Admittedly, I have had a few birthdays where I have spent time with friends but they have been few and far between and I don't even want to think about my childhood birthdays, before my father died they _could_ be considered happy.

As soon as my mother moved on with Chris and got her new family I became an irrelevance to her, but even before that my mother never made much of my day, when my father was alive he always tried to make it special, if he was there but more often than not he wasn't there as he was at work making money but my mother never really cared, yes the date of my birth was acknowledged but that is all. I was shocked when I discovered I shared my birthday with Ana, and I am beyond touched she was prepared to not bother with any celebration for her birthday, deferring to my plans to get engaged.

My attention is brought back to the here and now as Eva suddenly moves and rummages in a pocket of the robe she is wearing. I watch her carefully as she produces a small tube of lotion and she shows it to me. I stare at it and then at Eva questioningly, as I don't understand where this is going.

"You know how you like being inside me?" she says carefully, not taking her eyes from me.

I nod, and pull her closer, "More than anything," I reply.

"Well... I'd also like to be inside you," she says carefully, she waits while I take that in.

I realise what she is saying and I feel panic surge through me and my hands drop away, I shake my head furiously.

"Eva... I can't... please, no" I stammer, but Eva smiles at me and presses a kiss to my lips.

"Gideon, listen to me and please let me try, I'll stop if it gets too much for you, but just listen to me, you help to erase Nathan's touch for me, you make me feel beautiful and clean, let me try and help you, let me try and erase Hugh's touch or at least give you some good memories of that part of your body" she looks at me with such love that I desperately want to agree.

I think about what she has said, the last time anyone went near my ass was when I was examined after I had told my mother I was raped, and the result of that, when my mother was lied to, made me feel violated all over again. I don't know if I can do this, but then I think about Eva, she was repeatedly raped, yet she lets me touch her and make love to her. I know she won't hurt me, she loves me, and she just wants to show me pleasure not pain.

I grip her hands tightly, as I swiftly come to my decision, "Ok" I say.

Eva smiles at me and kisses me sweetly.

"Just say stop and I will stop ok?" she says reassuringly.

I nod and I kick the quilt off and roll on to my side taking Eva with me, we are side by side and our hands are roaming freely all over each other, she plants sweet kisses on me all the way down my front and I shiver in anticipation. Her hands move slowly south and she grips my rigid cock, I gasp as she strokes it and then takes it in her mouth as she does this her hand moves under my balls I immediately flinch violently and snap my legs shut, as unpleasant memories surge through my mind and I grip her tightly urging her away from me.

"No, please don't, I can't" I beg.

She immediately stops and speaks soothingly to me, "it's ok baby, it's ok, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm going to love you" she says earnestly.

She looks at me and waits and after a moment I nod, I close my eyes and try and relax as she tries again, I try to control my breathing, she can tell I am not comfortable with this and she swings herself around.

"Let's do it together," she says.

I immediately grip her hips and bring her down on my face and start sucking and lapping at her clit, I hear her gasp, but it works and it takes my mind off what she is doing to me and she moves her hand down again underneath my balls, all the while sucking on my cock.

Her free hand is searching for the lotion, I grab it and lube up my finger before handing it to her. I want this. I'm afraid, but I really want this and as her finger caresses my back passage I push my finger into hers, she gasps and her back arches, this excites me and I start to move, I move my finger while licking her clit. Then I feel it, I feel her slowly enter me, I feel her finger going... there, I let out an involuntary guttural howl the like I've never heard before and didn't even know I was capable of making and I freeze, I screw my eyes shut tight as all manner of memories cascade through my head and I am momentarily filled with complete panic.

"Please Eva, stop, no, don't" I gasp.

She pauses and speaks gently to me, "It's ok, I'm there, I'm inside you, and you are doing so well baby, remember I love you and am not going to hurt you" she says gently, I breathe deeply and concentrate on her words.

"Do you want me to move now?" she asks me.

I nod my head, "Yes" I whisper.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes" I say again, I can't focus my brain to say anything else but I do want this, I really do want this more than anything.

"Ok, just remember I'm not going to hurt you" she reiterates.

She slowly starts to move her finger hesitantly at first she keeps pausing and asking if I am ok, I tell her I am and she continues setting a gentle steady rhythm and as she does so, I start to actually enjoy the sensation, there is no pain and she being gentle and steady and it feels so good. She continues to suck on my cock as she plunges her finger in and out, she rhythmically runs it over my prostate gland and as she does so she presses, and the sensation is unreal.

"Eva please," I say I don't know what I am pleading for, more, or for her to stop.

I want her to carry on I want this so badly. I start to writhe, not in pain but in ecstasy, I moan and my hips start bucking uncontrollably, I feel Eva start to shake and tighten and I know she is going to come shortly, I carry on licking and touching her and she comes all over my face. I stop and I concentrate on my pleasure as Eva continues to give me the sexual experience of my life. I close my eyes and I grip the sheet, I'm so close and I have never been so aroused in my life my cock feels so hard and sensitive that when I do come, it's going to blow my god damn head off.

Eva presses inside me just as she sucks on my cock and I come loudly and violently. I scream out Eva's name and I rip the sheet I am gripping, I am seeing stars literally, I feel light headed and dizzy and I have never experienced anything like it.

I hear Eva choke and pull away from me but I am still coming, it seems never ending and I watch as she turns herself around. She is staring at me anxiously, she pulls me into her arms and I cling to her.

"Thank you" I whisper and then I sob uncontrollably in the crook of her neck.

I am totally wiped out, we head silently to the shower and wash each other gently and reverently, Eva is a complete mess. I came so violently she couldn't cope and pulled away and she is now literally covered in my semen. I find this so arousing, but for the first time since I met her I just don't have it in me to do anything more, as that was literally the orgasm of my life.

I feel so mellow now, and I decide that I want to do that again at some point. I feel Eva has banished some demons, I understand now what she meant when she said I erased Nathan's touch, I feel as though I have been released from something that was controlling me.

After a late breakfast we are ready to leave. Christian and Ana are coming to collect us to go to their new house. After the revelations about my shared birthday with Ana, Christian and I agreed that we will celebrate those as well today.

Christian has assured me the beach looks amazing. I am drawn from my thoughts as our friends arrive. We are all dressed simply in jeans and sweaters it's a cold September day yet thankfully sunny. Ana walks up to me and standing on her tip toes she kisses my cheek and gives me a hug.

"Happy birthday Gideon," she says quietly.

I squeeze her tightly and I return the kiss, "and happy birthday to you too" I reply.

Christian gives me a knowing look as he slaps me on the back.

"Ready?" he asks, I know he is referring to more than if I am ready to leave.

I nod confidently. I turn and look at Eva she is chattering nineteen to the dozen with Ana and I can't take my eyes off her, she must sense me staring as she looks at me and gives me a beautiful smile. My heart skips and I walk over and grasp her hand.

"Let's go" I say firmly.

We climb into Christian's SUV and Taylor follows in another one with Angus and Luke. I wanted Angus there to witness my proposal as he is much more than simply my driver and security. Angus has known me all my life and I look on him as family, the only family I really have apart from Eva. I sit in the front with Christian and Ana and Eva are in the back. When I get my first glimpse of the house, I am taken aback, it is magnificent. But it isn't something I would expect to be Christian's taste, I remember him saying he wanted to demolish it and rebuild yet Ana loved this house, and I can see why.

As we come to a halt Eva is staring open mouthed at it.

"What do you think?" Christian says with a self satisfied grin.

"Wow" Eva says and I nod in agreement.

"I think wow is just about adequate," I say and Christian laughs.

I see Elliot appear he comes towards us and greets us warmly he grips Eva and spins her around, I feel my jealously spike but I control it as Elliot doesn't mean any harm, and then he does the same with Ana and he wishes her a happy birthday she squeals and slaps his arm.

We head inside and Elliot finds us all hard hats and gives us a tour showing what work is needed and is being done. Ana is telling Eva how she envisions everything and Christian just smiles indulgently at her. This house is going to be what Ana wants, and what Ana wants Ana will get. I can't say anything though as I am exactly the same with Eva, I find it incredibly hard to say no to her.

Christian takes us and shows us the view and Eva gasps, "Is there a beach down there?" she asks.

Christian nods, "There is, do you want to go and see?" he asks and he glances at me.

Eva nods and Christian leads us down the garden to the beach beyond. I grip Eva's hand as we get closer and I see Christian turn and grasp Ana's hand, I continue to stride forward and I suck in a sharp breath when I see what he has done for us. There is a huge comfortable sofa under a gazebo, there are natural wind breaks made out of wood and plants around it and thousands of flowers there is a row of lights making a path to the gazebo, and lights dotted all around it, it looks stunning. Christian looks at me anxiously and I nod, its perfect.

I grip Eva's hand and lead her to the Gazebo and urge her to sit down, as she does so music starts to play, quietly in the background.

I fall to my knees in front of Eva and grip her hands.

"Eva, Christian and I have been planning this which is why I have been working late at the office; there wasn't a problem at work. I was planning this, because I love you Eva, I need you, I want you, say you will marry me, say you will be my wife and stay with me always" I stop and I stare at her. She stares right back at me, I can tell she is overwhelmed .

"Gideon... I" she starts and my heart sinks, she is going to turn me down.

"Please Eva, the answer is yes, you love me, remember?" I say anxiously.

She smiles "Yes Gideon, I will marry you" she says, I fling my arms around her and it occurs to me I forgot the ring.

"Shit" I say as I pull away from her and rummage in my jeans pocket, she stares at me in confusion.

I pull out the ring box and shrug in apology, "I forgot this bit" I say in embarrassment.

She giggles and kisses my cheek, "That's ok, I'll still say yes" she says, and then her eyes bulge and her mouth drops open as I open the box.

"Holy shit Gideon" she gasps, and I smile with satisfaction. I have a moments doubt as I think about the previous owner of the ring, but I push it out of my mind.

I take out the ring and slip it on her finger and as I do so I see a flash and I see Christian taking photographs, he is grinning insanely. I hear a round of applause and I see Angus, Taylor and Luke clapping and smiling widely.

Ana can't control herself any longer and runs up she flings her arms around us both and kisses me and Eva and then she inspects Eva's ring.

"Eva it's beautiful" she says and then she hugs her again.

Christian walks over and shakes my hand, "Congratulations, you won't regret it, marriage is the way to go" I see Ana look up at him lovingly and grip his arm, he wraps his arm protectively around her and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"Shall we?" he says and gestures for us to move behind the screens, as we move behind them I see two comfortable looking cane sofas and a small table with a bottle of champagne and four glasses and more flowers and lights.

"You have to celebrate these things" he says with a shrug and proceeds to open the bottle. He pours out the champagne and proposes a toast.

"To our closest friends on this day, when they have made the best decision of their lives, I hope you both will be as happy as I am with Ana, knowing that you have found the other part of you, to Gideon and Eva".

"Gideon and Eva!" Ana replies and we all clink glasses.

I look around for Angus I don't see him, he was here when I proposed but he slipped quietly away afterwards and I suddenly need him to be part of this, I pull my phone out and text him, a few moments later he appears and I refill my glass and hand it to him.

"I want you to share in this moment with me" I say, Angus smiles at me and hugs me, but politely refuses the champagne.

"It does me good to see you so happy lad" He whispers in my ear, and then he turns to Eva and says something to her.

I glance at Eva and she is crying a little, I wrap my arm around her.

"Are you happy Angel?" I ask.

She nods, "Very" she replies and then she stares at Ana and frowns slightly, it appears she is remembering something or thinking about things, suddenly she points at Ana accusingly.

"You knew – you knew all about this and you let me whine to you the other night about how I thought he had gone off the idea of getting married! Oh Mrs Grey you are in so much trouble!"Eva bursts out laughing and Ana grins.

"What could I do, I gave the best advice I could knowing it would never be needed" she says.

We leave Christian's new house and head back into Seattle. He has booked us a reservation at a restaurant, and this is where we are going to celebrate our birthdays as well as the engagement.

When we arrive everyone is in high spirits as we all climb out of the SUV, then suddenly I see Taylor fix his gaze on someone or something, Ana sees Taylor's reaction too and she glances at Christian who is oblivious. Taylor quickly herds us all inside and Luke quickly pulls me to one side and whispers in my ear.

"Sir, Taylor saw Tony Garrett, the man who Mr Grey knows... the one from his childhood before he was adopted" I nod a guessed as much.

"I take it Christian didn't see him?" I say.

"No sir" he replies, and he looks relieved at that.

I didn't see Christian's meltdown but I have heard enough about it to know it was incredibly disturbing.

"Tell Taylor not to mention anything to Christian tonight, it won't help anyone if he reacts badly in public" I say.

Luke nods and walks over to Taylor and whispers in his ear, Taylor glances towards me and nods almost imperceptibly. We are led to a private dining room and we take our seats at a table and we are given our menus. Ana glances at me and I smile encouragingly at her, she doesn't say anything but looks down at her menu.

After a delicious meal, and yet another toast to our happiness Christian looks around the table, "well after that we only have two more things to celebrate today" he glances around holds up a hand.

Moments later an enormous cake is wheeled out and I look at Christian who is grinning inanely.

"Seriously?" I ask as I look at the elaborate cake, I don't say any more as there is suddenly a chorus of happy birthday, I look around in surprise and see Grace, Carrick, Kate, Elliot and Mia.

I assume they are all here for Ana, so I am quite surprised when Grace comes up to me, I stand as she approaches me and I have to swallow hard as she envelopes me in a warm affectionate hug.

"Happy birthday Gideon," she says and it is nearly my undoing, the genuine warmth and kindness she has just shown me and it reminds me that my own mother hasn't even called me today.

Everyone else crowds around me and wishes me a happy birthday and then after they have all sung happy birthday to both Ana and me and then congratulated Eva and I on our engagement they all leave as quickly as they arrived, leaving behind a number of gifts for both Ana and for me. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and I know that I can say with a matter of complete certainty that this has been the best birthday ever.

"Well, what would you like to do now?" Christian asks.

Eva looks up and looks directly at me, I recognise the look in her eyes and I feel my cock twitch, she wants me, alone. I look at Christian knowingly.

"Christian I just want to thank you for today, for making my proposal to Eva absolutely perfect, I couldn't have wished for a better setting. We both have fond memories of beaches and they are special places for us and you have helped make today wonderful for us, and to you Ana for sharing your birthday with me and to you both for making this the best birthday I have ever had, but for now I think I'd like to bring the day to a close".

I see realisation dawn on Christian's face and he nods. "It was my pleasure, and if I am not mistaken Gideon would like some time alone with his fiancée?" he raises his eyebrows and I can't help myself and I throw my head back and laugh heartily.

"My friend you know me so well, I hope you are not offended by my desire to bring this wonderful day to an end?" I say when I finally pull myself together.

Christian shakes his head and laughs and turns to Ana, "Not at all I would be... no correction I am exactly the same. Ana, I think that is our cue to make ourselves scarce!"

I see Ana blush and she turns and hugs Eva warmly and whispers something in her ear. Eva glances at me and giggles.

Christian pays the bill and gathering up the gifts we leave, as we do so I notice Taylor is on high alert. I step alongside him and whisper in his ear.

"Taylor, any further info on this man, do we know why he is in Seattle?"

Taylor just shakes his head, "No Sir, and believe me we have tried, the team you sent to assist Welch have been unable to uncover anything, which if you ask me is worrying".

I nod in agreement, I feel impotent, this is my friend, a man who is as emotionally damaged as I am, so if there is anything I can do to help I want to do it and I don't care what it costs. I will never get my justice as Hugh is dead, I got a small token of justice when Sybil was convicted and jailed, but this man did unthinkably violent things to a defenceless toddler.

I step away when I see Christian watching us carefully.

"Keep me informed" I say and Taylor just nods. I turn my attention to Christian who is now frowning.

"Thank you for today, you made my proposal to Eva perfect." I say to my closest friend.

I see his face soften and he nods, but quite tellingly he doesn't say a word. He knows something is going on.

When we arrive back at our apartment I climb out of the car and open Eva's door, I notice Ana has also emerged and she comes around and hugs me. As I bend to embrace her she puts her mouth near to my ear and whispers into it.

"Taylor saw Tony Garrett tonight didn't he?" she asks.

I nod but don't say anything as Christian is now out of the car and watching us closely.

"Shit" she says, "I thought that was what had happened, when I saw his reaction".

"Thanks Ana" I say loudly and brightly and she realises immediately that Christian is now here.

She pulls away from me and I watch her glance at Christian and then she deliberately turns towards Eva and hugs her and congratulates her once more. When Eva pulls away and walks over to Christian and distracts him Ana returns to me.

"I'm really happy for you Gideon, you and Eva" she pauses and smiles at me, "I told you there was someone out there for you and you found her".

I remember Ana's words which I thought at the time were just well meaning nonsense from a friend trying to make me feel better about myself, I look at Eva who is still talking to Christian.

"I love her" I say simply.

Ana snorts which draws my attention back to her and she elbows me, "Durr, I think we all know that much!"

She grins at me which makes me smile, then she pats my arm, "anyway, I'll let you two get in, oh and for the record, I really enjoyed sharing my birthday with you" she says.

I kiss her cheek and thank her, when Christian appears at her side and wraps his arm around her he is still on edge, and I can tell he is wondering what is happening, but I don't want to spoil today, so I shake his hand and smile at him.

"Thank you for everything today my friend," I say and I watch as he nods, and grasping my hand he pulls me into a hug.

"My pleasure" he replies.

**(ANA)**

I climb into the seat vacated by Gideon and put my hand on Christian's lap and squeeze his knee. Before I can say anything though he turns towards me and asks the question I have been dreading.

"What's going on Ana, do you know what Gideon and Taylor were talking about?" he asks looking at me steadily.

My heart sinks and I sigh and nod, "Yes I do, when we arrived at the restaurant, Taylor saw Tony Garrett, and he was worried in case you spotted him. Gideon noticed Taylor's reaction and he was finding out what had spooked him. I also saw Taylor's reaction and I figured out for myself that he had probably seen that man and I was just getting confirmation of that from Gideon just now" I stop and wait for the response and I wonder how bad it's going to be.

To my great surprise Christian just nods and starts the car and pulls out and drives the short distance to Escala. He doesn't say a word as he exits the car and comes around my side and opens my door and offers me his hand to help me out. We travel up the elevator in silence and when we arrive he simply lets go of my hand and walks into his study and shuts the door. A moment later Taylor appears and he looks at me questioningly.

"What happened?" he asks.

I quickly run through what I told Christian, his really odd behaviour and where he is now. Taylor nods at me and with a deep breath walks towards Christian's study. I shake my head I am totally confused and quite frankly a little bit pissed, why isn't he out here talking this through with me?

I go to his study and carefully open the door, he is in deep discussion with Taylor and looks up at me but he simply shakes his head.

"Not now" he says curtly.

This irritates me even more, why is he behaving like this? I decide I want no part of this behaviour, and I quickly send a text to Kate asking her if I can come over, she replies almost immediately I read the text and then go in search of Luke. I find him in the security office and he stands as soon as I enter.

"Luke, will you take me to Kate's apartment please?" I ask.

He nods and picks his coat up. We leave the apartment and when we are in the elevator I turn and speak to him.

"Thanks for doing this" I say.

"No problem Mrs Grey" he says.

We get in the SUV and he drives me the short distance to Kate's apartment.

"Do you want to come in as well, I dragged you out here I don't want to be responsible for you having to sit out here in the car?" I say.

Luke smiles and climbs out of the car and opens my door. "Thank you Mrs Grey" he says.

As we are walking up the path, I hear someone call to me. I turn and see a middle aged man, with messy greasy dark brown hair which is peppered with grey, he is wearing dirty jeans and a t shirt with a hole in it and a thick jacket which is open and looks too big for him. He has a lit cigarette in his dirty fingers.

"Can I help you?" I ask politely.

"Are you Christian Grey's wife?" the man asks uncertainly, glancing at Luke as he says it.

Luke steps in front of me and I see him reaching for his gun.

I put my hand on Luke's arm, "It depends who is asking? Who are you and what is it to you who I am?" I say.

He laughs, and draws on the cigarette he is holding.

"Feisty aren't you? I'm actually quite surprised he went for you, not much submission in you is there?" I glare at the man wondering who he is but the answer comes with his next sentence.

"Give the little shit a message for me will you... tell him you can take the boy out of the slum's of Detroit but you can't take the slum out of the boy, he is more like me than he would care to admit to himself or anyone, he has tried so hard to remove himself from his humble beginnings and he has done very well, but I think I deserve a bit of commission for my part in making him the man he is today, not to mention compensation for the fact his junkie mother went and died, she lost me half my income".

I stare at him and the anger I have had building inside me since I knew about this man explodes from me in a rush, I push Luke out of the way and grab the man's cigarette and I press it into his hand, I watch as he yelps in pain.

"Mrs Grey!" Luke yells and pulls me away.

"Hurts doesn't it?" I spit at the man who is now clutching his burnt hand, how do you think that felt on a four year old boy's back and chest.

"You fucking bitch" he says glaring at me.

I shake myself free from Luke, the adrenalin is coursing through me and I kick the man hard in his balls, he doubles over in agony and as he does so, I kick him again in the ribs, he falls to the floor and in a move similar to the one I did on Nathan Barker I stamp on the man making sure this time I target his ribcage, as I remember how Christian told me he had, had his ribs broken by this man.

"That was for the four year old who couldn't defend himself against you," I say as I allow Luke to lead me away. I watch as the man struggles to his feet wheezing loudly and then disappears into the night.

"I'm sorry Luke" I whisper as he leads me to the front door.

"Don't worry about it, that piece of shit deserved it," he says tightly.

I smile gratefully, but I know I have probably just made his and Taylor's job a little harder.

When we get into Kate's apartment I see Luke making a call and I know he is probably telling Jason what I have done. I tell Kate what happened and she gapes at me.

"Shit Ana, what if he had attacked you?!" she says.

"I took him by surprise, he wasn't expecting anything like that" I say.

Kate looks at me carefully, "Anyway Steele, what's wrong, why are you here, shouldn't you be at home with your husband celebrating what is left of your birthday?" she asks.

I sigh and tell her everything about Christian's meltdown a few days ago, about the events of earlier and how Christian has been behaving since, Kate shakes her head.

"Ana, this was the man who made him the fucked up person he is, I know Elena Lincoln did her bit to him as well, but he was the one who made Christian scared of being touched and caused all the issues she took advantage of, it's no wonder he is acting strangely".

I stare at her, not quite believing what I am hearing. Kate defending Christian is something to behold.

"I know, I just... I don't know how to handle it, how to handle him when he acts this way, I can normally calm him and bring him around, his anger and his tantrums I can deal with, but I just have no idea what to do when he acts like this, he just shut me out Kate. I just needed to talk to you, you are my best friend and oldest friend, and I just wanted to share".

Kate leans forward and hugs me. "I'm always here for you Steele" she says.

I hear a cough and turn to look at Luke.

"Mr Grey is on his way over, T said he is erm... rather angry," he looks at me apologetically.

"Oh well that's just great!" I say sarcastically.

Just as I say this I hear the intercom buzz, Kate goes to answer it and immediately pulls the handset away from her ear.

I can hear Christian's angry voice clearly as he yells into the intercom.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR KATE AND LET ME IN" I feel my anger start to rise again as I grab the handset from her.

"Christian Grey calm down, if you want to come in you ask in a civil manner, and until you do you can damn well stay out there" I say firmly.

Kate stifles a giggle and takes the handset from me and waits, there is complete silence – I am guessing Christian is shocked that I have refused to let him in, I hear him a moment later speak in a quieter but clipped tone.

"I apologise for shouting at you Kate, please open the door and let me in" Kate looks at me and I nod. Kate presses the button and then a moment later I hear a knock at the door. Kate opens the door and Christian stalks in followed by a very worried looking Taylor and Christian glares at me angrily.

I fold my arms and raise my eyebrows and glare right back at him.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" he growls at me.

"I'm not playing at anything Christian, what about you? You were the one who shut down and didn't say a fucking word and when we got back to the apartment, you didn't sit down and talk things through with me, like an adult, no, you ran off to your study to sulk instead. So, what am I playing at? Let's see, after you completely blanked me I was understandably feeling a little confused, so I decided to come over and talk to my friend and when I got here I was confronted by your birth mother's pimp who gave me a message for you, and when he bad mouthed you I got so angry I ripped the cigarette from his fingers and stubbed it out on his hand, to see how he liked being used as an ashtray, and then I kicked him in the balls and stamped on his ribs in the hope I broke a couple and then I came up here and talked to Kate, I'm pretty sure while I was talking to Kate, Luke was telling Jason about what I had done to that man, then you arrived, so that is what I am playing at Christian, any questions?!" I stop and watch as he goes deathly white.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he whispers.

My mouth drops open and I stare in disbelief. "I think that's a bit rich coming from you of all people" I snap and I immediately regret it as I see the hurt expression on his face and he takes a step back.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that" I say straight away. I step forward and reach out to him but Christian holds his hands up and turns and leaves without a word. I stare after him, shit what have I done? I look at Kate.

She gives me a sympathetic look, "Don't worry he'll be ok, he loves you, everyone says things in the heat of the moment, he will realise that when he calms down" she says.

I shake my head, "No he won't, he's always told me he was fifty shades of fucked up and I always told him I loved him anyway, he will take that as I don't love him and want him anymore, that I've had enough".

As I say this I realise with a sudden clarity exactly why Christian behaved the way he did tonight, he is terrified that I will leave him, after his mother of all meltdowns previously his number one concern was that I would leave him, so _that_ is why he shut down and _that _is why locked himself in his office, he was afraid and he was scared he was going to have another meltdown and he didn't want me to see it in case I left and what did I do, I walked out and left him and came here, and now I just threw in his face that it was because of the way he behaved.

I turn to Kate "you have no idea of the self loathing he has, and I have just confirmed everything he that he has ever thought about himself". I look at Luke who is looking at me sympathetically.

"Where has he gone can you get hold of Jason and find out?" I ask desperately.

He nods and pulls his phone out, I listen to the conversation. "T, where are you and the boss heading?... Mrs Grey wants to know, she is worried about him... I see... I will... yes... ok T... yes I'll tell her" he hangs up and I wait holding my breath.

"Erm, it appears Mr Grey jumped into the car and took off at speed, T took our car and is following him, he said for you to stay here until he gets in touch".

I nod, "Ok, how did Taylor manage to drive our car you have the keys?" I ask.

"Taylor has a set for the entire fleet of cars ma'am" Luke replies.

I nod, I turn to Kate and she opens her arms and I walk into them and sob on her shoulder.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

I lift my head up off of Kate's shoulder and I sniff loudly. I need to pull myself together and think, the answer comes to me in a rush.

"Kate can I borrow your car?" I ask.

Kate nods and immediately reaches for her car keys which are hanging on a nearby hook. She hands them to me with a smile.

"Thank you" I say gratefully, I turn to Luke, "Luke can you trace Christian's cell phone and track him down with it?" I ask, surely he can manage that after all they have managed to track me via mine.

Luke looks hesitant but nods, "Mrs Grey, T said..." he begins.

"Luke I have to make this right" I say firmly, "Now, are you going to help me?" I add.

I see him thinking carefully and eventually he nods reluctantly. "Please, let me call T first and tell him what you are planning to do" he says.

I nod, I don't want him to get into trouble with Taylor for my actions, I watch him disappear into another room to make the call. A few moments later he returns and looks at me.

"Ok let's go" he says.

I turn to Kate and hug her, "Thank you for this I will get your car back to you as soon as I can" I say.

She waves her hand dismissively and we take our leave.

I jump into the driving seat and Luke climbs in beside me and he gives me directions of where to head. I put my foot down and speed off into the night.

I realise where we are heading as soon as we get off the interstate and hit the winding residential roads. Christian has gone to the new house. When we eventually arrive, I key in the number I saw Christian tap in previously and the gate opens, I drive in and park next to the two abandoned SUV's.

"Where are they?" I ask looking around. Luke picks his phone up and calls Taylor once more.

"T we have arrived, where's the boss?" he asks. I see him listen and he looks at me, when he hangs up I wait.

"Well?" I ask as he pushes his phone into his pocket.

"The beach" he says.

I take off before the words have finished coming out of his mouth, I run down through the meadow and towards the shining water of the sound in the distance. My lungs feel like they are going to explode but I keep going. I stop when I reach the beach and I look around frantically, I am panting with the exertion and I don't see anyone to start with, and then I see Taylor. He is watching a hunched figure down by the water's edge and as I walk closer I see Taylor is standing back and Christian is sitting with his knees drawn up and his head on his arms and he is sobbing bitterly. He is totally unaware of Taylor's presence and Taylor is just watching from his position a discreet distance away. He turns to look at me and as he sees me approaching, he steps back further, Luke goes to stand with him as I carefully walk towards my husband.

I don't say a word, as I kneel down next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I feel him stiffen and he ignores me, he doesn't even lift his head when I gently say his name.

"Christian" I whisper, there is no response.

"Christian, please look at me. I'm so sorry Christian, I should never have said that to you, I'm sorry please forgive me, it was cruel and wrong".

I wait hoping for a reaction but there is nothing.

"Christian please" I beg.

"You said you'd never leave me" he whispers his head still tucked in his folded arms on his knees.

"I didn't leave you, I just went to see Kate," I try and reason with him. "Do you want me to stay now or do you want to be alone?" I ask.

"I don't know" he replies.

"Christian, please know that I love you but I don't know what to do when you behave like this, I know it's not your fault but when you shut me out I have no idea what to do for you, I thought I was doing the right thing tonight, leaving you alone and giving you space to get over it, I was obviously wrong, and I know what I said to you at Kate's was totally unacceptable. I swear I didn't mean it, it was said in the heat of the moment, I wasn't thinking, I love you Christian".

I am almost begging but still there is no response from him.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask desperately, I start to pull away from him, as I do so I see terrified grey eyes look at me.

"Don't leave me" he gasps.

"I will never leave you Christian, I promised you that" I say, I shuffle to my feet hoping he will stand with me but unfortunately Christian takes this as me moving away.

"Ana no, please don't leave me" he wails and his hands go to his hair, he stares at me wildly and he turns and the next thing I realise he is on his knees in front of me I stare at him wondering what he is doing.

I reach for him and put my hands on his shoulders, "Christian calm down I'm not leaving, I am just standing up, my legs were going to sleep I had to move them".

I am trying to reason with him but he isn't listening he has completely shut down again I wonder what he is doing and then I notice his stance, it looks oddly familiar. He is on his knees with his hands on his lap and his head down; he is completely still and quiet. Then it hits me he has gone into a submissive stance, I have no idea what to do, what is he expecting me to do?

"Christian look at me" I say, and his head instantly sweeps up and he gazes blankly at me.

"Christian speak to me" I say, as a cold feeling of dread fills me.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks.

Shit, this is not good. I have no idea what to do; I don't want to dominate him, as I hate that whole Dominant/submissive thing.

"Christian please stand up" I say gently and I hold out my hand to him.

He takes my hand and in one fluid movement he is on his feet, but he still doesn't say a word, he is totally motionless, I grasp his hand and lead him to the car, Taylor and Luke are following a discreet distance away. I open the passenger door of Kate's car and motion for him to get in, he does so obediently and I go to climb into the driver's seat. I glance back at Taylor and Luke and they silently take an SUV each and we leave the house.

When we arrive back in Seattle I pull into the car park at Escala, I climb out and give Luke the keys to Kate's car.

"Can you take it back to Kate for me please?" I ask.

He nods and waits, I frown and then glancing back at the car I realise Christian is still sitting inside, he hasn't moved.

"Oh Jesus Christ" I sigh and roll my eyes before I go around to his side and open the door.

"Come on" I say gently and he steps out and takes my hand, we head inside in silence and when we reach the apartment I gesture to the sofa, and he sits down without a word. I sit down beside him and take his hand in mine.

"Christian talk to me please" I say.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks again.

I look carefully at him. I feel bad using this situation to get the answers I want but I can see no other way to do it.

I take a deep breath, "I want you to talk to me, tell me what you are thinking, what your fears are, what you feel and what you want. I want to know if you still want me. I want to know what's going on in your head Christian, I want to understand so I can try and help you".

I stop and wait, still clutching his hand tightly, a pair of desolate grey eyes stares back at me, I continue to wait in silence eventually after what seems like an eternity Christian takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

"I was afraid, I was out of control. I saw Gideon talking to Taylor and I had a feeling something was going on and nobody was telling me anything, and I felt I was being shut out. Then when you told me the reason you were all talking I was really terrified, the fear I felt when I saw him the other day hit me again and I realised then why nobody had said anything to me and that made me feel ashamed because people were afraid of how I would react if knew so then I went to hide because I felt so ashamed and I pushed you away and you left me. You have no idea how panicked I was when I came out of my office and found you had gone. Taylor got a call from Sawyer saying you were at Kate's and he told me you had been confronted by... him, when I heard that I went into a blind panic I didn't want him to hurt you but I was too afraid to confront him, and I felt ashamed of myself that I put my feelings and fears before your safety and I was angry with myself and him for confronting you. I had all these... feelings and they just consumed me. I didn't know what to do, so I came to you, I'm sorry I shouted at Kate I shouldn't have done that, and then you said what you said, and it was true all of it, and I just had to go. I had let you down, you had confronted that animal and I wasn't there to protect you and you had confronted him and shown more courage than I did, I felt useless and I just had to get away. I went to our house and sat on the beach, I heard Taylor arrive then you came. I don't deserve you, you shouldn't have married me. I'm no good for you, you deserve more than me, but although I know I should let you go, I am too much of a coward not to mention too selfish to do it, the fear I feel inside me if you did leave me overwhelms me. I need you more than I need my own existence, but that makes me feel ashamed because I am so selfish" he stops and his head droops.

My head is spinning from everything he has just told me, I think carefully and I touch his face, his head rises and he looks at me uncertainly, I smile at him.

"What am I going to do with you?" I say gently.

"Christian, I need you to listen to me and believe me, first of all what happened to you as a four year old?" I ask.

Christian looks at me but doesn't say anything, so I answer my own question.

"You were physically abused by a drug addicted pimp, you were kicked across rooms, punched, kicked, had your bones broken and had cigarettes stubbed out on you, am I correct?" I wait and he nods at me, so I continue.

"So that happened when you were four years old, and its safe to say those memories stayed with you am I right?" he nods again, I can see he is gradually returning to me and listening carefully to what I am saying, so I press on.

"So, it is also safe to say when you saw that man again for the first time since you were four it brought back terrible hideous memories?" Christian nods again, "Right, when you were four years old did you feel afraid and helpless?"

"Yes I did" he says speaking for the first time.

"Of course you did, and those were the perfectly natural feelings you experienced when you saw that man again for the first time since that time when you were four years old. That doesn't make you weak, or a coward, that makes you a normal traumatised man. When I saw Morton for the first time when I was taken that day, I froze. I know self defence, I can shoot a gun and throw a knife but I froze, because I was reliving the abuse he previously put me through, it's totally normal".

I pause and I watch him consider this, I take a deep breath and continue, "Then you discovered I had left, and I'm so sorry I went to Kate's, I didn't know what to do, I should have stayed, I should have waited and helped you, but I was at a loss I didn't know what to do for the best, and I made a mistake by going, can you forgive me for making that mistake?" I wait and I see his eyes soften and he nods.

"Of course I can I..." I hold my hand up to stop him and I continue to speak.

"Thank you, then your normal coping mechanisms kicked in and you became angry, because that is what you do, you came after me because that is what you do, you cursed and threw your weight about because that is what you do, and I reacted to it, because that is what I do, and I shouldn't have done, and it made me angry and it shouldn't have done. To be fair, that piece of shit had just goaded me and made me so angry and I was still coming down from the adrenalin rush of that, but I shouldn't have said what I said to you, it was cruel and it was totally wrong, do you forgive me for that?" I stop and I wait again.

He nods "Of course I do" he says, he pulls his hand out of mine and he touches my face.

"Ok, well, we both made mistakes, but the way you reacted to that man was not one of them, that was a totally normal reaction and nothing to be ashamed of and it was completely acceptable, do you understand me?" I wait and he nods at me.

"Good, so then if that is the case, and we forgive each other for the mistakes we both made, how do you feel now?" I ask and wait.

I see him think about my question, he looks at me and smiles widely, "relieved, happy that you still want me and that you are not leaving me" he stops as I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Ok, you are not going to leave me because you promised me that you would never leave me" he says.

"And why am I never going to leave you?" I ask.

"Because you love me" he replies and when he says that he flings his arms around me. "Thank you Ana thank you for making me see things clearly" he says.

"You are welcome, but remember I can't help you see things clearly, if you don't talk to me and tell me how you are feeling. You need to talk to me so we can discuss it and work it out, because I am not making a habit out of driving around Seattle and the North West tracking you down to sort things out!" I grin at him.

"Good point well made as always" he says, "I really don't deserve you" he adds.

"Ah ah ah" I chastise and look at him. "What have I said about your self loathing, that is something I won't tolerate Christian, you have to stop thinking that way. You are worth loving, you are worth my love, so now repeat after me, my name is Christian Trevelyan Grey" I stop and wait.

"My name is Christian Trevelyan Grey" he says in an amused voice.

"I am a good man and I am worthy of love" I say.

"I am a good man and I am worthy of love" he repeats.

"I am worthy of the love of my wife, and I deserve to be her husband" I say.

"I..." he stops.

"Go on!" I encourage.

"I am worthy of the love of my wife, and I deserve to be her husband" he says.

"I deserve a happy and fulfilled life and a family of my own and my hopes and dreams to be fulfilled" I say.

"I deserve a happy and fulfilled life and a family of my own and my hopes and dreams to be fulfilled" he replies, he touches my stomach with his fingertips as he says this.

"And I promise to stop having all these negative thoughts about myself and if they do pop into my head I won't brood and I will discuss it with my wife" I say.

"And I promise to stop having all these negative thoughts about myself and..." he pauses

"...if they do pop into my head I won't brood and will discuss it with my wife" I prompt.

"...if they do pop into my head I won't brood and will discuss it with my wife" he says.

I nod my head, "Promise?" I ask.

He smiles and wraps his arms around me, "I promise baby" he says.

We sit in each others arms for a while and I just relish being with him and us being quiet and holding each other, no interruptions and no sexual activity, just being together. We are inevitably disturbed by his phone buzzing, he reaches into his pocket and pulls it out and looks at the screen a huge grin crosses his face and he answers it, putting it on speaker so I can hear it too.

"Gideon my friend, did you get your rocks off?" Christian asks irreverently.

"Christian!" I exclaim, I slap his arm and stare at him, unable to believe he actually just said that.

I hear a laugh come from the phone, "Ah that would be telling, but lets just say I am feeling pretty mellow at the moment," Gideon says.

"Guy's please, too much information!" I protest.

"Hi Ana, sorry – behave Christian!" Gideon says in a mock stern voice which is completely lost when he laughs again.

"What do you want Gideon? Or are you just ringing to brag about your sex life," Christian asks.

I hear Gideon snort with laughter again, "No not at all, I rang because Eva wants to know what that song was – the one you had playing quietly in the background when I proposed to her, she said she liked it and to be honest I wasn't really paying that much attention to it but obviously I'm not going to tell her that".

I roll my eyes as Christian chuckles and then speaks, "It was called A Better Man and it was by Thunder, a British rock band from the early 1990's I have no idea if they are still going or not, but after we talked I listened to it and it felt right, for you guys from my point of view, the reason I know that is because it is exactly how I feel about Ana," he says.

"Do you have it there at all?" Gideon asks.

"Yeah I have the song downloaded on my ipod, hang on" Christian replies and reaches for his ipod and the docking station, he places them on the table in front of us and scrolls through the songs on his ipod.

"Here, I have it" he replies and starts to play it, I listen to it as well, as I thought it was a lovely song from what I heard this afternoon.

"That's a beautiful song" I whisper to Christian when it has finished.

Christian nods "and it is also how I feel since I met you" he says earnestly.

I swallow hard and we wait for Gideon to respond.

"Thank you guys that song is beautiful, I'm going to download it for Eva, so it's by a band named Thunder and it's called A Better Man – that's right isn't it?"

Christian confirms that it is and after a few more words, Gideon is gone.

We sit for a few more moments and then Christian sighs, "I suppose I'd better go and have that briefing with Taylor" he says, "I'd love to know why that pimp has come back into my life after all these years".

I look down "He wants money" I say quietly.

Christian looks at me, "What did he say to you baby?" he asks.

I grasp his hand and relive what he said to me, I see Christian start to get uncomfortable and I grip his hand tighter as I see his anger rising.

"Shit" he says eventually and runs his hand through this hair when I have finished talking, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that because of me" he says.

"Christian stop it" I say firmly.

He looks at me and smiles, "Sorry baby" he whispers and kisses my forehead, "I'll go and talk to Taylor see what we can do" and with that he stands and I watch him leave.

The next day Gideon and Eva head back to New York, we go to the airport to see them off and the talk is of when we will meet up again. The plan is we are heading to New York to spend Thanksgiving with them, and then hopefully we should be in our new home for Christmas and they are returning to Seattle and celebrating Christmas with us there. I see Gideon and Christian are genuinely excited about these plans and it occurs to me that they both were so closed off and solitary and that these family orientated times were probably not pleasant experiences for them. I put this to Eva and she confirmed my suspicions and we plot to make this year the best thanksgiving and Christmas they have ever had.

I decide to head to work to catch up on a few things, Christian protests saying that it's Sunday, but I am feeling beyond guilty about taking so much time off recently. Thankfully he understands and we swing past Cross Publishing on the way back from the airport. I quickly clear the outstanding work which Damien had left for me and I feel much happier that I won't be coming in on the back foot tomorrow morning.

"Do you feel better now baby?" Christian says with amusement as he watches me sigh and push the complete pile of paperwork into the filing tray for my assistant to put away.

I nod, "Yes I do, I don't want to take advantage of our relationship with Gideon, I don't want people to think that because I am friends with him I can get away with things".

"Nobody could question your work ethic baby" Christian says kindly. I smile at him and stand up.

"Thank you Christian that means a lot, ok I'm done shall we go and get some lunch, I'm starving" I say with a grin.

Christian doesn't need telling twice and we leave and head back to Escala where I prepare us a light lunch. The rest of the day is quiet and uneventful. After our talk, Christian seems much more relaxed and forthcoming, I think he finally realises that being open and honest about his feelings is not a weakness and will only make us stronger as a couple.

I call my dad for a chat, which is brief and I get the impression he is watching the TV. I am delighted when he tells me that he has been told that his progress has been so good he will be discharged in time for Thanksgiving. I realise with a jolt that this year will be the first year I won't be spending Thanksgiving with my dad and I feel suddenly sad, Christian notices my demeanour change and frowns. I hang up and he grasps my hand pulling me close.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks.

I shake my head, "My dad said he should be discharged in time for Thanksgiving, and I won't be in Seattle to spend it with him, it will be the first year I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my father and it feels a bit like the end of an era".

Christian looks at me carefully, "I'm sure we can work something out" he says and strokes my back lovingly.

"What about your family?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "My parents are going to their place in Montana, and Elliot is spending Thanksgiving with Kate and the Kavanagh's. I have no idea what Mia is doing. She will probably go with my parents".

"What did you do previous years?" I ask, genuinely curious as to how he spent his time over this holiday.

He looks down and shakes his head, "I didn't celebrate it, I spent my time at the office working, it was just another day for me and obviously because it is a weekday my sub wouldn't be part of the equation either so I just carried on as normal. Christmas was much the same and my sub would be with her family that day. I always went for Christmas lunch with my parents but left as soon as I possibly could.

I stare at him, shocked that he dismissed so completely two of the most family orientated times of the year, he looks at me and smiles.

"But this year is going to be different" he says and kisses me.

**Song: A Better Man by Thunder**


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

_Two months later, the day before Thanksgiving..._

It is stupid o clock in the early hours of the morning and I sigh as I look at the pregnancy test in my hand. It's negative, just like last month. I open the bathroom door and face Christian who is looking at me expectantly. I shake my head sadly. His eyes soften and he pulls me into his arms.

"Never mind baby" he says.

I know its not the end of the world, but considering how I managed to get pregnant before when I was on birth control, I assumed not actually doing anything to prevent pregnancy would make it a foregone conclusion.

"Are you ready to leave for New York?" Christian asks, changing the subject.

"Yes I am" I say brightening slightly at the thought of spending Thanksgiving in New York with Gideon and Eva.

I am looking forward to this trip (even though it means getting up at a stupid hour to leave so we arrive in New York at a reasonable time to spend near enough a whole day there). The last couple of months have been very productive at Cross Publishing and I am eager to discuss it with Gideon in person. I have signed three authors and one in particular has been very successful, within days of his debut novel going on sale, Marcus Kline has made it into the best sellers list, writing under the pen name Thomas Williamson his book about the backstage antics of a fictional rock band is riveting.

The lead singer's relationship with a young groupie who suddenly leaves him and his longing to discover where she has gone only to discover she is now seeing the owner of his record label is compelling reading. Marcus is an interesting character very open and warm it is a pleasure to work with him. I wish the same could be said for my other two, Temperamental Artistic Temperament doesn't begin to describe the second of the three. Janet Peebles is a diva and is rapidly making me regret signing her, her entire life is one drama and she is constantly missing deadlines and I am seriously getting to the point of terminating her contract. I am going to discuss her with Gideon while I am in New York. The third author is a strange man, David Grange, a young author and very intense young man. Very quiet and reserved. I like him but Christian can't stand him, he brings out all Christian's insecurities and despite me saying I don't find him attractive he is completely jealous of him.

"Ana are you listening to me?" I am pulled from my thoughts and I gaze up at Christian.

"Sorry what did you say?" I ask going red with embarrassment.

"I said is everything packed?" he says irritably.

"Yes it is, Gail and I did it yesterday" I say.

He nods, "You are miles away baby, don't let that negative test upset you" he says gently and strokes his hand through my hair.

"I won't" I say and I press a small kiss to his lips. Christian pulls me closer and deepens the kiss. I push away from him.

"We don't have time for that, if we have to leave soon" I say.

Christian pouts at me and I laugh, "Wait till we are on the plane" I say and pat his cheek.

**oooOOOooo**

When we land in New York we are both thoroughly well fucked. I see Eva and Gideon waiting for us and as we walk towards them I see Eva looking at me in a strange way and she isn't as friendly as normal.

"Is everything ok?" I ask her.

"We need to talk" she says in a clipped tone.

I glance at Gideon who smiles at me and wraps his arm around me, "Don't worry about it it's not your fault," he says as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Ok what have I done?" I ask feeling worried now.

We climb into Gideon's car and Eva turns to me. "What is the real name of your new author the one who wrote Golden Girl?" She asks with no preamble.

"Erm... Marcus, Marcus Kline" I say warily.

Eva sighs "and there we go" she says bitterly.

"Eva what have I done exactly?" I ask.

Eva sighs, and begins to explain, "Marcus Kline is the younger brother of Brett Kline, the lead singer of Captive Heart... now called Six Ninths, and that story is based on my fuck buddy relationship with Brett. Brett is the Daniel of the story, and I am Sadie the groupie, and obviously the owner of the record label is Gideon".

My mouth drops open "Oh my god, I had no idea, I am so sorry Eva" I say, I feel sick, what the hell have I done?

Eva shakes her head, "It's just... It has highlighted a really wild period of my life that I am not proud off, I went totally off the rails for a time and Brett was part of that time. I was messed up and self destructing from what had happened to me... after Nathan" she says sadly.

I lean forward and grasp her hand. "I am so sorry Eva, tell me how I can make this right?" I say.

Gideon glances at us through the rear view mirror, "Don't stress about this Ana, you weren't to know, we will discuss this later and go through the contract you have offered him and see if we can do anything," he says.

I smile, and that makes me feel more hopeful, "Actually, I only gave him a single book deal as I am never prepared to offer anything more on a brand new un tried author and I always make sure we have a get out clause, to cancel that contract, which I need to talk to you about regarding another author I have signed who is severely pissing me off ".

Gideon smiles at me "You are a very smart woman Ana we will discuss this later" he says.

I turn to Eva, "I will make this right" I say firmly, and she smiles at me.

"I'm not angry with you Ana, not really, you weren't to know, I'm sorry if I was off with you when you arrived. It was just seeing myself in print like that and seeing what I was like at that time through someone else's eyes, it was uncomfortable" she says.

I nod at her. Christian breaks the silence which has settled upon us.

"So have you two set the date yet?" he asks.

"Aah yes I wanted to talk to you about that" Gideon replies, "we want a Christmas wedding and as we are supposed to be coming to you for Christmas we want just family and close friends, pretty much like what you had. I was wondering if you knew of anywhere in Seattle we could use?" he asks.

Christian smiles widely, "how about our new home on the sound, you can have your wedding there, it will be secure, private and the way Elliot is going his team are well ahead of schedule and they are on the final stages now of the renovation, he has reviewed his completion date to be the end of next week. We are moving in when we return from New York and it would be our honour to host your wedding".

He glances at me and I see him realise he should have run this past me first, but I also think this is an excellent idea, so I just nod and smile at him".

"Thank you Christian, that is a wonderful idea, what do you think Eva?" Gideon says.

"I love it!" she says firmly.

Gideon and Eva drive us to our apartment and then head off to work, as it is a work day. So, Christian and I are left to our own devices. I am meeting Gideon later at The Crossfire later this afternoon to update him on the Washington office and now it seems to try and sort out this mess with Marcus.

"What do you want to do baby?" Christian asks.

"I'd like to take some time to prepare for my meeting with Gideon" I say carefully, I know Christian wanted us to spend time together, but he nods in understanding.

"No problem, don't worry about that author, but perhaps you should do background checks on prospective authors?" he says.

I shake my head, "what good would that do? All it would have brought up in this case was his brother was Brett Kline lead singer of a band, I have never heard of, it wouldn't have brought up his brothers sex life" I say.

"No, but it could have brought up who his brother is and then that would be a small step to finding out the fact his brother's band is signed by Gideon's record company", he says thoughtfully, I nod, but I don't want to go down that route so I don't say anything. As I am thinking about authors my phone rings.

"Ana Grey" I say as I answer it.

I hear the polite quiet voice of David Grange, "Ana, how are you, I was wondering if I could arrange a meeting with you to discuss my progress with my novel?" he says.

"Hi David, no problem, call the office and speak to my assistant, and she will arrange something with you. I am in New York at the moment, but we can arrange something for when I return after Thanksgiving," I say.

"That would be wonderful, thank you so much" he says.

"No problem, talk to you soon David" I say.

"Goodbye Ana" he says.

"Bye" I reply and kill the call.

"Who was that?" I turn and see Christian staring at me.

I sigh, "Christian why are you asking, you know exactly who it was, and stop being so jealous" I say.

"I just don't like him" Christian says stubbornly.

I stand up walk towards him and wrap my arms around his neck.

"I know you don't, but please Christian, don't ruin this for me, it seems he is the only new author will have left if I have to let Marcus and Janet go".

Christian sighs. "I'm sorry Ana, I just don't like him" he says again. "How come he has your cell phone number?" he asks. I pull out the phone and show it to him.

"It's my work cell, which Gideon provides for all his editors, not my personal one. All my authors have this number" I say.

Christian nods but doesn't look convinced.

After a light lunch I head off to The Crossfire and my meeting with Gideon, as I enter the building someone calls my name.

"Excuse me, are you Anastasia Grey?" I turn and Luke immediately stiffens, taking a protective stance at the side of me.

"Who's asking?" I say looking at the tall willowy brunette in front of me.

The woman smiles and holds out a perfectly manicured hand to me, "Please forgive me, my name is Corrine Giroux" she says as if that should immediately mean something to me.

My mind is blank for a moment and then I realise who she is as the memory of the conversation in the car a while ago when Gideon called us to tell us who had been responsible for posting Nathan Barkers bail and her history with Gideon. I try and keep my face neutral and play dumb.

"Ok and you are?" I say.

She stares at me, thrown for a moment almost as if she was expecting me to know exactly who she is and who she was to Gideon and when it doesn't happen she looks quite insulted, what the hell is she expecting? Does she think Gideon talks of her fondly over dinner?!

I continue to look blankly at her and eventually she recovers and speaks, "I'm an old friend of Gideon's but he is apparently too busy to see me or even take or return my calls, and yet here you are, also close friend of his heading into the Crossfire and going up to his office," she cocks her head to one side as she says this and it hits me, she's jealous.

I turn fully to face her and I perceive Luke getting ready to restrain me, I give her a cold stare.

"Oh you are _that_ Corrine. Gideon's ex fiancée, the one who broke off the engagement and ran off to France with some guy, to try and make Gideon jealous but then realised Gideon wasn't going to come running after you and beg you to come back. So you married that poor unsuspecting French guy and inevitably your marriage fell apart because you didn't love him, but then again you didn't really love Gideon either, because you didn't really know him. You returned to New York and found out he was with Eva and so you plotted to get his attention, and to do this you decided to bail a convicted rapist who cornered Eva and myself at a club and who sexually assaulted me, oh and don't forget he then tried to shoot Gideon – the man who you profess to love and also possibly my husband who was with him at the time, did I forget anything?" I ask and I look at her with raised eye brows.

I appear to have rendered her speechless but I see the anger flash in her eyes and I smile.

"Now you are having a tantrum because I am here in the Crossfire with an appointment for a business meeting with Gideon, to bring him up to speed on the activity at Cross Publishing (Washington) where I am employed as an editor".

I stop and stare at her, her mouth hangs open but she quickly composes herself.

"Do you always travel to New York in person to update him on work?" she says sarcastically.

I snort loudly and a few people glance at me as they walk past.

"Durr, no" I say rudely "But on this occasion I decided arrange the meeting to see him in person as I am visiting New York with my husband, is that ok with you?" I ask sarcastically.

I watch as she flushes slightly and she is trying to maintain her dignity and not lose her temper.

"So you are in New York for Thanksgiving?" she asks politely.

I smile sweetly at her and nod, "We are, we are spending Thanksgiving here with Gideon and his fiancée, not that, that or anything I do is any of your damn business" I say bluntly.

I stop as I see her take a step back, her hand clutches her throat and I realise I may have gone too far, I quickly go through what I said and what could have caused that reaction, and it hits me, I said we were spending thanksgiving with Gideon and his fiancée, shit, hasn't Gideon announced the engagement yet? We haven't heard anything in Seattle about it but I hadn't really been looking for it so I just assumed the news hadn't reached us yet.

I hold myself together and continue, "So if you will excuse me you are going to make me late for my _business_ appointment with Gideon, good day to you MRS Giroux".

I spin on my heel and head towards the elevator, as soon as we are out of sight I call Gideon and tell him what I have done, and to my great relief he just roars with laughter.

"Oh god Ana you are priceless!" he says.

"So you are not angry with me?" I say.

"Not at all, ever since the engagement was announced she has been trying to get up here to speak to me and I am blocking her calls and refusing to see her".

I sigh with relief. "So you have announced the engagement?" I say.

"Yes, hasn't the news reached the west coast yet?" he says incredulously.

"Erm... No I don't think so, but I'm not sure, to be honest I really don't pay much attention" I say.

"Never mind, anyway where are you now Ana?" Gideon asks, just as he says this the elevator pings and the doors open.

"I am just exiting the elevator now, and waiting to be buzzed into Cross Industries" I say.

At that moment I am buzzed in and as I walk to the reception desk I see Gideon striding around the corner towards me, when he reaches me he grasps me and pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek, and without a word leads me away to his office.

"Ok Ana, let's get started," Gideon says as he closes his office door, he gestures to a seat on the large plush sofa and I sit arranging my files in front of me on the small table.

"So how is business in Seattle?" he says smiling at me as he sits next to me and casually crosses his legs.

"It's very good, I have retained Boyce who came with me from SIP and he looks set to hit the best sellers with his novel, of the other authors I brought with me from SIP we have had three top ten's and all the others have charted in the top twenty. But then the not so good news is the new authors, the three new ones I have signed since arriving at Cross Publishing have not exactly done wonders, although it is early days, but I am seriously considering terminating Janet Peebles, she is the biggest drama queen, she has consistently missed all her deadlines and her life is one long drama I have warned her verbally and I have given her two written warnings, so I just wanted to run it past you before I took the final step".

I look at Gideon and he nods, he is reading my report on her which lists everything that has happened.

"I agree, get rid, we don't need that sort thing" he says firmly.

I nod and make a note of what I have to do. I glance up again and he has lifted the file on Thomas Williamson aka. Marcus Kline, I blush and shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"I had no idea and I am so sorry about this" I start, but Gideon shakes his head.

"No Ana it was a business decision and a good one considering how well the book has sold. Considering the story is out there and selling, to terminate now would be counterproductive and damaging drawing more attention to the protagonists of the story. When you return to Seattle I suggest you set up a conference call with me and we can confront him to find out his angle there is no way he could have not known who you worked for, I mean the name Cross Publishing sort of gives it away, I need to know what he is trying to do, whether it is an attempt for his brother to gain access to Eva or something else, but that is what I propose and then we can take it from there, but for the time being leave things alone". I nod again and continue to make notes.

Gideon picks up the third file and I smile, Gideon catches my look and looks at me questioningly.

"That is David Grange and he is a dark horse I think, he brought me a manuscript which was the very bones of an idea, and yet it intrigued me, he intrigued me. He is a very intense and quiet man, painfully shy and so polite, I like him, as I say I find him intriguing but Christian can't stand him. For some reason he has taken an intense dislike to him and gets so jealous every time he calls or his name is even mentioned, he is totally irrational about it, David called me wanting to meet with me to discuss the progress of his book, Christian was there and he over reacted asking why he had my cell phone number and I had to point out it was my work cell which you supplied me with". I stop and shake my head at the memory.

Gideon studies me and he is clearly thinking things through, "So he is a gut feeling, you believe he can produce something big and ultimately sellable?"

I nod enthusiastically, "I do I can't explain it there is something, I can't put my finger on it but there is something, but if it helps it is the same sort of feeling I had with Boyce" I say.

Gideon smiles, "Well that's good enough for me for the time being, most of my early business successes were based on a gut feeling" he says as he throws the file onto the table.

"Now Corrine... I'm sorry you had to deal with her, I am refusing to see her or speak to her and she is hanging around like a bad smell," he stops and frowns, "She is really irritating me to be honest, I have given her no indication that I want her and yet she is practically stalking me".

I shrug, "she loves you" I say simply.

Gideon shakes his head, "How? She ended it with me, and married someone else?" he looks totally confused.

I smile, "You really have no idea do you? You are so like Christian, you have no idea how easy you are to love, but you think you are worthless, having said that; do you remember how I explained about her? Well it is my guess that she is trying to manipulate you and you need to nip it in the bud or she will become a problem for you and Eva".

Gideon nods at me. "So tomorrow, are you and Christian looking forward to it?" he asks changing the subject.

I nod, despite I suddenly think about Ray, and the fact I won't be spending thanksgiving with my stepfather, which sends a pang of pain through me, but don't say anything.

"Yes I am" I say cheerfully, "and I know Christian is. Did you know he never celebrated Thanksgiving before? Not since he has been an adult obviously, he just worked through, so this is the first time he will have observed it can you believe that?" I say.

Gideon puts his head down, "Yes I can Ana, because I was exactly the same, this will be the first Thanksgiving I have celebrated since I was a child, and I am looking forward to it immensely. I have also invited my sister Ireland, I hope you don't mind, she is only seventeen years old and we have been estranged for years because of what happened and how I left home. I didn't go home so she suffered. Eva has encouraged me to make an effort with her and get to know her and we are quite close now... she means the world to me, apart from Eva, you and Christian she is the only family I have.

I stare at him, I never thought he considered us family, good friends yes but family, I feel the urge to go and hug him so I do.

"Oh Gideon, you know you are such a good man, you deserve the best of everything" I kiss his head gently. He stands and hugs me tightly.

"It's all thanks to you I am in this good place now with Eva, talking with you and Christian and sharing... everything... you know, and listening to what you and Christian also went through, I believe we have this bond, a pretty fucked up one admittedly, but a bond all the same".

I nod, "Yeah, and Eva, her story was pretty horrific, with Nathan".

Gideon nods. "I really love her, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her" he says.

"I know, you have proved that" I say quietly.

**oooOOOooo**

_The Next Morning..._

"Ana are you ready?" I hear Christian yell as I come out of the bathroom.

"Yes dear" I say as I pick up my purse and walk out to meet him, I am still feeling a little strange not having Thanksgiving with Ray but he called me this morning and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving and assured me he was fine and he told me we would meet up soon.

"Are we walking to Gideon's apartment?" I ask looking at Christian hopefully.

"If you want to baby," he says with a grin.

He holds out his hand to me and I take it as we leave the apartment. We walk the short distance to Gideon's penthouse apartment and when we arrive we head straight up.

As the elevator doors open Gideon and Eva are both waiting for us, Eva hugs me and then Christian, she is practically bouncing with excitement, as we head inside.

We walk into the beautiful family room and I stop dead, sitting on the sofa in front of me is Ray, I look at Gideon and Christian who are both grinning inanely at me.

"Dad!" I gasp, Ray stands up and holds his arms open to me and I walk into them.

"Hey Annie, I got a call from Gideon inviting to come to New York to his fancy home and spend Thanksgiving with you all. Apparently that husband of yours and Gideon cooked it all up between them, Christian sent his plane for me and well… here I am. I hid out here last night so that I could surprise you when you arrived here today!"

I can tell Ray is overwhelmed by the fact he was in Montesano and then in New York in the blink of an eye and with so little effort, the way Gideon and Christian operate is enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed.

"I'm just so happy you are here" I say, and then I frown, "You rang me to wish me Happy Thanksgiving, when you were here all along!" I say.

Ray laughs, "Yeah, it was a good feeling pulling the wool over your eyes like that!" he says.

I turn to Gideon and hug him tightly, thanking him for inviting Ray and then to my husband who is staring at me with such love in his eyes I feel my breath catch. I walk into his waiting arms and hold him tightly.

"Thank you" I whisper to him.

"I don't ever want you to feel you have to choose between me and Ray, he is as much my family now as you are" he says.

I feel tears starting to form but I blink to stop them from falling. Our attention is drawn to the front door, which is opening. A very beautiful young girl with long black hair and blue eyes just like Gideon is standing there looking nervous, and pushing a key into her purse.

"Ireland" Gideon says warmly and he walks towards her. He puts his arm around her shoulder and leads her forward.

"Everyone this is my baby sister Ireland Vidal. Ireland these are my good friends, Christian and Ana Grey from Seattle, and this is Ray Steele Ana's father". Ireland looks around and smiles politely.

"Hi" she says quietly, and then she glances up at Gideon, "Mom said to say happy thanksgiving to you and she hopes you will call her at some point".

I see Gideon stiffen and his face closes down at these words, Ireland sees it too and she shakes her head sadly.

"Ireland I have been looking forward to meeting you" I say and step forward to break the uncomfortable silence which has settled on the room. Ireland is clearly oblivious to the reasons why Gideon is estranged from his mother and she doesn't understand why Gideon is refusing to contact her.

She smiles widely at me, "I've heard so much about you and Mr Grey from both Gideon and Eva," she says.

She looks at Christian and I see that familiar widening of the eyes and reaction every woman gets when they look at my too handsome for his own good husband. She steps forward and offers her hand to Christian.

"I'm so pleased to meet you Mr Grey" she says.

Christian accepts the handshake and grins at her, "Please call me Christian" he says warmly.

I watch as he kisses her politely on the cheek, I see her flush and she giggles and I smile, it seems Ireland has a crush on my husband.

Eva grasps her hand and walks towards Ray, "Ireland, this is Ana's dad Ray; he is a very wise man who will tell it to you straight". Ireland smiles shyly at my dad and whispers a nervous hello and Ray nods and smiles kindly at her.

"Pleased to meet you" he says.

"Ok what does everyone want to drink?" Gideon says to everyone.

**oooOOOooo**

I sit and watch the interaction going on between everyone, I am feeling completely stuffed it has been the best thanksgiving ever, it is normally just Ray and I and it was always a simple day for us, nothing compared to the scale of what we have just encountered.

I watch my husband in his element laughing and joking with Gideon they have been constantly bantering and trying to outdo each other all day, it's a joy to see them both so relaxed and happy. I see Eva is watching Gideon, and she glances at me and smiles and I know she is thinking much the same thing as I am.

I am watching Ray with Ireland, he is talking easily with her and it appears she is quite taken with him, as she has gravitated towards him at every possible opportunity. Talk inevitably veers towards the wedding and Christian tells Gideon that Elliot has excelled himself and the house is now done. Eva and Gideon excitedly tell us what they are hoping to have and ask us if that is ok, Christian simply waves his hand dismissively and tells them to consider it done.

The plan appears to be that I will fly out to New York for my dress fitting on the 18th December and returning with Gideon and Eva when they fly in on 20th December with Ireland, and the other guests will be flown to Seattle the day before the wedding on the 22nd December, 23rd is the wedding day and then the guests are being flown home on 24th to get them to their own Christmas celebrations back in New York.

Gideon, Eva and Ireland are spending Christmas day with us and then Gideon and Eva are flying out on the 26th to their honeymoon destination which Gideon is keeping a secret and Ireland is returning to New York. It sounds as though it has all been planned with military precision, but in reality there isn't many people who will be there. Gideon has insisted he wants a wedding like ours, just family and close friends. On Eva's side there will be her mother and step father from New York, and her father is being flown in from California, Gideon is inviting Ireland of course, Angus and Arnoldo Ricci.

"Are you not inviting your parents Gideon?" I ask carefully.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, my mother and Eva don't get along, she has never accepted she was wrong and Eva has made it crystal clear to her she was wrong in her actions and I refuse to chose between Eva and my mother, and so taking everything into consideration there is no way I would want my mother at my wedding." He stops and glances at Ireland who is listening to what he says. Ireland looks sad and puts her head down.

I stand up "Gideon lets go and get some more drinks" I say.

Gideon smiles and stands, he knows I want to talk to him privately, Eva nods at me, we have been talking about his refusal to have his mother at the wedding and she feels responsible for the situation with her actions, she told me of the blazing row she had had with his mother when she had basically called her a bad mother for not believing Gideon and supporting him.

We walk into the kitchen and I turn to face him, he is standing his arms folded and he has an amused look on his face.

"Ok Ana spit it out" he says.

I raise my eyebrows and look him straight in the eye.

"Gideon, did you see Ireland's reaction when you said those things about your mother? You forget she is her mother as well, and I know you don't want Ireland to know about what happened to you but she is confused, she feels stuck in the middle between you and your mother and its not right for a seventeen year old girl to be in that position".

"I know its not fucking right, but what do you expect me to do Ana? Tell her oh sorry Ireland the reason mom and I don't talk is because I was raped by a shrink as a kid, I told mom and she didn't believe me," we glare at each other until a small voice interrupts.

"Yes Gideon, you should have told me because I'm your sister" we both spin around and face the door where Ireland is standing staring at Gideon.

"Shit" I mutter, I watch as all the colour drains from Gideon's face and he grips the work surface.

"Ana could you leave me to speak with my brother please" she says.

I nod and walk past her as I do so she reaches for me and squeezes my arm, I reach out with my other hand and rub her shoulder.

Eva is beside herself when she realises what's happened and it takes me and Christian to calm her down and not go barging in to the kitchen. Ray is watching the events with a bemused look on his face.

"Eva let them talk, they need this" I say to her, she nods at me and sits down.

"I feel it is all my fault, if I hadn't come into his life and got him to make contact with Ireland and bring her back into his life and then if I hadn't had that argument with his mother none of this would have happened, and now I have spoilt thanksgiving for everyone".

Ray leans forward and pats her arm. "Listen Eva, I have no idea of the ins and outs of this, and I don't want to, it's not any of my business, but any fool can see how much Gideon loves you, you two are made for each other. You remind me of my Annie and Christian the way you two are with each other".

Eva smiles "thanks Ray you are a good man, I can see why Ana is such a good person now, it's because she had you as a role model".

Ray blushes with embarrassment and shakes his head.

We wait and eventually after what seems like a lifetime, Gideon and Ireland emerge from the kitchen, Gideon has his arm around Irelands shoulder and it is obvious they have both been crying.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

After Gideon and Ireland return, nobody knows what to say, eventually Ray breaks the silence when he stands up.

"I'll head back to your apartment Christian if it's ok with you", he says.

"Ray, please don't go" Gideon says urgently and steps forward grasping his arm, Ray looks carefully at Gideon and holds up his hands.

"Look I don't want to interfere, and it seems like there is some serious stuff going down here," Ray says.

"Actually Ray, I have a question which you may be able to answer for me?" Gideon says, he glances at me looking for permission, and I think I know what he is going to ask, I give a slight nod to indicate to him I am ok with whatever he is going to ask.

Gideon sits down and gestures for Ray to sit down beside him and he leans forward resting his elbows on his thighs and clasps his hands together, I watch as my dad sighs and sits down watching Gideon warily and waits for him to speak.

"Ray I know about what happened to Ana, when she went to live in Texas with her mother and Morton... when she told you, did you believe her instantly or did you need proof?" Gideon pauses and he glances at Ireland who is sitting with tears building in her eyes.

I freeze, I know what Gideon is doing but I just hope that he doesn't start going into detail, as my dad has no idea of the extent of what Morton did to me, I feel Christian wrap his arms around me offering me silent comfort but my attention is fixed on Ray.

Ray stares at Gideon as if he has been punched in the gut, "Wow, that's not something I had ever expected to be asked, erm..." he glances around the room uncomfortably.

I feel sorry for my dad I know he doesn't want to answer this so I try and help him.

"It's ok daddy, we all know each other's secrets, we bonded over them, except for Ireland, but I am happy for her to know if it helps her relationship with Gideon".

Ireland is staring at me now with wide eyes, and I walk towards her and give her a hug.

"It's ok Ireland, it was nowhere near as bad as what happened to your brother, and I am absolutely fine now" I say with a smile. Ireland nods at me, but moves a little closer as she waits to hear what my dad is going to say.

Ray looks at Gideon, and his eyes soften, he takes a deep breath as though he is thinking carefully, and eventually he speaks, he leans forward and mirrors Gideon's position with his hands clasped in front of him and his elbows on his knees.

"Listen son, I have no idea what to say to you, I remember you saying something about what had happened to you at that trial of those sick bastards who took Annie. I remember you saying when you gave your evidence that you had been abused... sexually... raped, is that what you are talking about... is that... am I right?"

Gideon nods. He doesn't say a word, but just sits and waits for Ray's response.

Ray looks like he is going to be sick, he shakes his head and closes his eyes briefly before opening them and looking straight at Gideon.

"Listen to me son, what happened to you, it wasn't your fault, it was the sick bastard whoever they were who did it to you, so in answer to your original question, of course I believed Annie, and I got her out of there as quickly as I could, proof didn't come into it, she didn't have to prove anything, it's what any decent parent does".

Gideon nods, he turns to Ireland, "See, Ray didn't need any proof, he unconditionally believed Ana, mom wanted proof and then she didn't get it, because that bastard paediatrician lied to protect his brother in law, so she believed him instead of her own son".

Gideon drops his head and he brings his arms up and covers his head with his arms, in an instant Eva is beside him and Christian is up and placing his hand on Gideon's shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"Gideon, I believe you baby, always remember that, I. Believe. You!" Eva says desperately trying to get him to look at her.

Ireland moves and squeezes herself in between Gideon and Ray, as she sits beside Gideon she pulls one of his arms gently, he lets her do it, and she places her small hand in his and strokes his hand, tears are pouring down her cheeks, Gideon turns his head to look at her and easing his hand out of hers he wraps his arm around her holding her tightly.

Ireland lifts her head and looks straight up into Gideon's concerned eyes, "Gideon, I believe you too" she says quietly.

Ray stands and moving in front of Gideon he places his hand on Gideon's shoulder and leans down to speak to him.

"Gideon listen to me, I have no idea what you went through and I don't want to know, but any idiot can see by just looking at you that something heinous did happen and I'm sorry that you got denied your justice, when the person who you should have been able to trust to look after you and believe you obviously didn't, I can't comment on that, but look around you son, look around you today, you have Eva, she loves the bones of you, and she's made it obvious she believes you, look at your sister here, she loves you too and now she knows the truth, she believes you too". Ray pauses and Gideon nods as he thinks about that.

"It's clear Annie and Christian know all about this, so that says to me that you told them and they believe you and they care about you, so what I say is concentrate on the love and belief you have in this room for you, you have it in spades right here - love and belief in you".

Gideon looks up and I see him look around the room at the anxious faces around him.

Ireland touches his arm which immediately pulls his complete attention back to her.

"Gideon, thank you for sharing this with me, and for trusting me with it, I won't tell anyone about it, but I do believe you big brother, I believe it happened to you and you were let down badly by our mom," Ireland says quietly still clinging on to his hand.

Gideon takes in a sharp breath at those words, and his nostrils flare, he is visibly shaken by Ireland's words, it's almost as if he can't understand or process the fact that someone else is taking his word so easily, after all, all he has known all his life is denial and disbelief, and in the space of a few months he has found four individuals who have unconditionally and unquestionably believe him.

Ireland turns to me, "I won't ever say anything about you either Ana" she says firmly, she turns back to Gideon.

"Erm… does dad know about what happened?" She asks.

Gideon shrugs, "I have no idea, I would assume so," he says dismissively.

"What about Christopher?" she asks, Gideon immediately stiffens and his face turns stony.

"Christopher knows and he lied to our mother and said nothing had gone on, even though he had heard me begging to be left alone when I was being assaulted," he says bitterly.

Ireland gasps and her hand shoots to her mouth, "Oh my god, I knew he had issues with you and was jealous of you, but how could he be so cruel?" she says.

Gideon turns to her and shrugs, "That's Christopher, he hates me pure and simple, but I don't want to ruin your relationship with him, I know you two are close and I don't want to be the one to come between you".

Ireland shakes her head adamantly, a fierce look appears in her eyes and she is outraged on Gideon's behalf, "No way Gideon, you are not to blame for any of this, you are the victim here" I smile as I see the fire in Ireland's eyes and the determination on her face.

Gideon nods and takes a deep breath, and he stands up, "Look this is thanksgiving, the first one I have celebrated since I was a child, and here I am totally ruining it, come on lets change the subject here" he says.

Ireland stands up and wraps her arms around his waist, "happy thanksgiving Gideon, and thank you for sharing with me, I understand now, and I won't talk about it again and I promise you I won't bug you to contact mom," Gideon wraps his arms around her and kisses her head.

"Happy thanksgiving Ireland" he says.

Gideon looks at Ray apologetically, and holds out his hand, "I apologise for putting you in such an awkward situation sir, that was wrong of me".

Ray shakes his head and accepts the outstretched hand, "No son, forget it, you needed that moment, and for what it's worth I believe you, as I say I don't know what happened and I don't want to, but I believe something bad happened to you".

"Thank you Ray, you have no idea what that means to me, and you are a very wise man" Gideon says.

**oooOOOooo**

The happy atmosphere is slowly restored after that and nothing more is said. The rest of the day is spent joking and laughing and playing corny games. We split into teams and play charades of all things, and the sight of Christian and Gideon slowly getting more and more drunk, not to mention more and more competitive, and trying desperately to mime some of the titles is hysterical, and Eva, Ireland and I cannot breathe for laughing so hard at them.

I am happy to see Ray join in and as well and enjoy himself as he deserves it, I was a little worried he would feel uncomfortable as he is such a quiet and private person but watching him participating fully makes me smile and my heart swell. I watch as both Gideon and Ireland are talking freely with him and have fully accepted him. Eventually though, we decide to call it a night, both Christian and Gideon are more than a little worse for wear, Ireland is staying with Gideon and Ray is returning to our apartment with us. We walk the short distance back to the apartment and Ray and I manage to sober Christian up enough to get him home.

Ray turns to Christian when we are inside.

"Thank you for fetching me today son, I was a little worried I'd feel out of place, with two billionaires but you know I have really enjoyed myself today, it's been really good".

Christian waves his hand, "don't mention it Ray" he slurs.

I roll my eyes at him, "Come on Christian lets get you to bed, I think you have had far too much to drink" I say as I pull him gently towards our bedroom.

I turn to my dad, "Thank you for coming dad, I didn't know anything about it, but when Gideon and Christian get together there is no telling what they get up to!"

Ray walks forward and hugs me, and he nods towards Christian who is swaying precariously, "Goodnight Annie, you have a good man as a husband, even if he is totally off his face at this moment, do you need any help getting him into bed, he's a big guy for you to manage alone?" he asks.

I nod, "Perhaps if you just help me get him into bed and I can take it from there" I say gratefully.

Between us Ray and I coax Christian into bed and as soon as his head hits the pillow he passes out and starts snoring loudly.

"He will have a sore head in the morning" Ray says looking down at him.

I grin, "Yes he will" I say, "Thanks daddy, I'll take it from here, you get off to bed" I say.

Ray kisses my cheek and disappears to his own room.

The next morning I am making breakfast and Ray is sitting at the table sipping some coffee when Christian wanders in looking like death. I hand him a mug of coffee and he just grunts and sits down at the table beside Ray.

Ray smiles and shakes his head and simply pushes a bottle of painkillers towards him, without a word. Christian takes them and takes some and takes a gulp of coffee.

"Thanks" he mutters, he glances at Ray and looks a little sheepish.

"Erm, I apologise if I did or said anything inappropriate last night, it's been a long while since I got myself in that sort of state," he says.

Ray grins and waves his hand, "Well I didn't expect to have to put my son in law to bed last night" he says calmly. I see Christian's face blanch, and he starts apologising profusely once more.

Ray laughs, "Relax, you didn't do or say anything inappropriate and you passed out pretty much as soon as you hit the bed, I just helped Annie get you there and she did the rest".

"Well, thank you sir" Christian says quietly.

I place an omelette in front of Christian and he goes white and looks like he is going to throw up.

"Thanks baby," he mutters as he stares at the plate.

Christian and I are spending a long weekend in New York, and on the Friday after driving Ray to the airport and seeing him off back to Montesano, we head to the Crossfire to drop in on Gideon and Eva. I had called Eva and she told me that Gideon, like Christian, was feeling pretty horrendous this morning and that she and Ireland had found it hysterical watching him suffering as he got ready for work.

We are waved straight up to the Crossfire offices and buzzed through, as we reach Gideon's office Scott smiles and rises from his seat.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, good to see you, Mr Cross is expecting you, you can go straight in" he says pointing towards the door.

I glance up and see Gideon pacing his office and talking, he looks towards us and smiles and beckons us in.

"Ok, don't worry Ireland... yes... of course you can... ok, bye... yes I love you too" he pulls the Bluetooth receiver from his ear and throws it on the table.

"Hi Gideon, how are you feeling today?" I ask innocently.

Gideon shakes his head and grins at me, he turns to Christian and points accusingly at him.

"You are a bad influence on me Grey, you and your brother, the only times I have woken up feeling like I have been hit by a bus are when I have been drinking with you two the previous day".

Christian laughs, "Well if it's any consolation to you I felt just as rough this morning, and I got no sympathy from my wife" he says.

Gideon shakes his head, "No Eva was pretty harsh as well, she told me as it was self inflicted she had no sympathy with me".

"Not on is it?!" Christian says, taking a shot look at me, I look back and raise my eyebrows at him.

As we are talking the office door opens and Eva arrives, Gideon immediately turns to her and takes her in his arms and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Hi" she says looking towards us, "Are we ready then?" she continues, looking up at Gideon.

"Sure" he replies and grabs his jacket, "Eva only gets an hour so it will be a quick lunch nearby," he explains.

"Fine" Christian replies easily.

We head downstairs and Angus is waiting for us outside at the kerb. As we move to get into the Bentley, I hear a voice call my name.

"Ana, Ana is that you?" I stop and look around, and I immediately feel Christian freeze against me.

"Oh hi" I say in surprise, seeing the tall figure in front of me.

I turn to Gideon and Eva, "Gideon, Eva this is one of my authors David Grange, David, this is Gideon Cross and Eva Trammell, and you know my husband Christian".

"Pleased to meet you" he says quietly, I see him looking very closely at Gideon and Gideon seems to be scrutinising him as well and then David turns to Christian.

"Mr Grey, how nice to see you again" he says offering his hand.

Christian accepts but says nothing just giving him a curt nod.

"What brings you to New York?" I ask.

David smiles at me, "I'm visiting family, my mother and my aunt live here so I came to visit them for Thanksgiving, I called the office and arranged a meeting to go over my novel as you suggested. Anyway, I won't keep you, it was nice meeting you" he says looking at Gideon and Eva again.

"Goodbye Ana, Mr Grey, Mr Cross, Miss Trammell" he says and with one final lingering glance at Gideon, he is gone.

"Pleasant young man" Gideon says, he looks at Christian who says nothing, but his impassive look tells me he is controlling himself, as he is as stiff as a ramrod.

After a very enjoyable lunch Gideon and Eva head back to the Crossfire and Christian takes me back to the apartment. He is still a little bit off after our encounter with David, and I decide I want to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

"Christian, what is wrong with you?" I ask when we get back inside.

"Nothing, kiss me," he says, grabbing me to him.

I push him away, "Christian, you have to stop this, I don't find David Grange remotely interesting or attractive, he is an author I work with nothing more, why are you so damn insecure about him?"

Christian sighs and shakes his head, "I don't know, there is something about him which makes me nervous, he gives off a bad vibe, and I don't want you working with him too closely" he looks at me and I can see he is as confused about his violent reaction to David as I am".

I sigh this is really starting to irritate me now. "Ok Christian we will go through this again. One, when I meet with him I am never alone, I always have Luke with me. Two, I _have_ to work with him, he is one of my authors it's my job, and finally three I can take care of myself, if you think that he is going to hurt me it's not going to happen. I have Luke with me and I am totally capable of defending myself" I wrap my arms around Christians neck and look into his eyes.

He leans forward and presses his forehead against mine, "I know it's irrational and I'm sorry, but I go on gut instinct to people and I just don't like him" he says, "please be careful when you are dealing with him" he says and kisses me.

As he does this I grip his head and the kiss deepens and his hands move down my back and he lifts me against him, I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to the bedroom. Within moments we are both naked and Christian is running his hands all over me.

As his mouth moves to my breast, I reach down between us and grasp him, he moans and thrusts into my hand, I grip him and stroke him, and Christian pulls me down in between his legs.

"Suck me baby," he demands and I grin and take him in my mouth, the sigh he emits makes me suck harder, I lick the sensitive underside and the crown and he pulls my head on to him.

"Suck me harder," he says, I glance up and see he has his eyes closed and he has his head thrown back enjoying what I am doing to him.

"Fuck I'm going to come," he says suddenly, he tries to pull me off but I resist and keep sucking harder, I feel him pulsating into my mouth and the warm salty fluid pours down my throat and I swallow reflexively and then lick him clean.

"Did you enjoy that" I say as I let him go.

"Baby... I... wow" he stammers, pulling himself together he looks at me with a glint in his eye, and grabbing me he throws me back on the bed and buries his head between my legs, I know he is going to show no mercy after my amorous attack on him.

After about two hours and several orgasms we are lying on the bed totally spent.

"I love you Ana, so fucking much it hurts," Christian says suddenly.

I turn and look at him, "ditto" I reply with a grin.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of the weekend follows pretty much in the same vane, lots of sex, and socialising with Gideon and Eva, we run into David again and he tells us he is on his way to the airport to fly back to Seattle. I see Gideon staring hard at him as he talks to us, I notice Gideon's hands are reflexively balling into fists and I wonder what has caused that reaction.

After he is gone I ask Gideon what the problem is, I wonder if he is having the same irrational dislike of the poor man that Christian seems to have. Gideon just tells me he is trying to place him as he has the feeling he knows him from somewhere and that he looks familiar, but he can't think where he knows him from. I look at him and I wonder if that is the entire truth as Gideon's reaction to him was more than a little bit off. The encounter is soon forgotten and we spend our final hours in New York enjoying ourselves with our friends.

After leaving New York late Sunday evening, I spend a lot of the flight fast asleep, with all the going out and socialising with Gideon and Eva and the large amount of sex when we were alone in the apartment I haven't had time to rest and I am absolutely shattered. I crash on the bed and am out for the count until I rouse with Christian gently waking me.

"Come on baby we are about to land," he says gently as he pulls me up into his arms. I moan sleepily and he carries me to the seat and fastens me in so we can land. I am in and out of consciousness and I perceive being carried from the plane to the car and then arriving back at Escala and being carried to bed, I don't say anything other than a handful of moans and before I know it I am fast asleep again. The next thing I know Christian is waking me again and the sun is pouring through the window.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily.

"Nearly 7:30, time to get up sleepy head!" he says grinning at me.

I feel so warm and comfortable I resist having to get up and pull the quilt over my head, the next thing I know Christian has crawled in the bed with me and is gently caressing my breast and pushing his stiff cock into my hip. I reach back and grasp it.

"Hmm what do we have here?" I mutter playfully.

I hear him gasp and then he thrusts his hips as I grip him, before we know it we are lost in each other again.


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

I am sitting in my office working hard and there is a tap at my door, "Come in" I call.

I look up and see Luke standing there looking at me. "What is it Luke?" I ask.

"Marcus Kline is here to see you" he says.

"Oh right, yes I was expecting him, I have a conference room set up ready for the call with Gideon" I stand and head out to the small reception.

"Marcus, thank you for coming in at such short notice. I have a conference call set up with Mr Cross in New York, as he wants to meet you" I say.

I see the uncomfortable look slide across his face. I wonder what it was that made him do what he has done. I don't feel any compassion towards him as he made me feel so bad for taking him on and publishing a novel which is basically Eva's sordid past, which she wanted to escape from. I take a long hard look at him as we walk into the conference room and I set up the screens on the laptops so we can both be seen on Gideon's laptop when he logs on, at this moment it is a blank screen.

"Erm, Ana, there is something that you should be aware of before we proceed with this call," Marcus says uncomfortably.

I turn and look at him, "What would that be?" I ask mildly.

"Erm" He stammers.

I lean towards him and cock my head to one side, "Let me help you" I say sharply.

"The novel you wrote, was about Eva Trammell and your brother Brett, Eva Trammell is Gideon's fiancée and you came to me to publish a book which could potentially embarrass Gideon and Eva, is that what you wanted to tell me?" I say glaring at him.

I see Gideon has logged on and heard every word I have just said and he is grinning widely at me, I see Eva appear beside him and she too smiles at me.

"Look at your screen" I say to Marcus, he looks down at the laptop in front of him and his face falls when he sees Gideon and Eva there.

"Hello Marc" Eva says in a clipped tone.

"Eva good to see you, you are looking well" Marcus says lamely.

"Why did you do it Marcus, does Brett know about it?" Eva asks.

"No he has no idea, which is why I used the pen name Thomas Williamson, so he wouldn't find out," he says.

"Then why? You don't want to hurt your brother, but what about me? What do you think this has done to me, not to mention to Gideon and Ana. You obviously did this on purpose you chose Cross Publishing on purpose and you chose Seattle because you thought you'd get it published under the radar and it worked didn't it?"

Marcus sighs, "I was paid to offer it to Ana, I was paid to make sure Cross Publishing published it, if the Seattle office didn't go for it the next stop would have been the LA office and then finally the Chicago office, but Ana took it straight away" he glances at me.

"Who paid you?" Gideon asks speaking for the first time, "who is behind this?" he asks.

"Christopher Vidal" Marcus says quietly.

I hear Eva gasp and Gideon closes his eyes.

I recognise the name and quickly catch up to who that is, "That's your brother isn't it Gideon?" I ask, I am totally confused and I don't understand what is going on.

Gideon nods, "Yes my darling brother, who works for my step father at Vidal Records the label who has signed Brett Kline's band Sixth Ninths" he says bitterly, I watch him thinking things through and I glance at Eva who is also watching Gideon closely.

"This type of exercise would be totally up his street. But the question is why? I'd like to believe that he looking to generate hype for their new album, but this hurts Eva, and it's me he has the issues with and I won't allow any more collateral damage" Gideon says decisively.

Marcus looks horrified, "So, wait a moment… he wants this to come out, that the book is about Brett and Eva?" he asks.

Gideon nods, "undoubtedly" he says, "the new album is called Golden, and the first single is to be a song about his relationship with a girl who he meets at a gig and who leaves and he never sees again, so this book would tie in nicely especially as you called it Golden Girl".

Marcus' mouth drops open and he leans back in his chair, "Oh my god, I had no idea, I got Golden Girl from the nickname Brett had for Eva, but I never had any idea he had planned all this, he told me that his brother owned a publishing house and he thought I was a talented author and suggested I approach one of them to publish the manuscript I said I didn't want to hurt my brother and he suggested I publish it under a pen name and use one of the branch offices to protect his anonymity but he was playing me all along, I have been so stupid, what the fuck am I going to do?" he stares pleadingly at the screen.

I am totally speechless I feel responsible for taking him on but I say nothing and wait for Gideon to say something.

I see Gideon thinking carefully, "Ok, can you get yourself to New York, I will get Brett here and we can work this out between us if we can, catch it before the album is released. Ana if you could come out as well it would be helpful, so we can take care of things from the publishing angle, I'm sorry to do this to you as you have only just got back from your visit here over thanksgiving but I do believe it would be necessary for you to be here," he looks at me and I nod.

Christian isn't going to be happy about this but it can't be helped.

"Ok" I say, I will do whatever it takes to clear up this situation, I have no idea what Gideon is planning but he looks confident that it can be sorted. My attention is drawn to Marcus who is speaking.

"Mr Cross can I just say I will do whatever it takes to put this right" Marcus says desperately.

Gideon nods, "Ana, I need to know if there are any book signings and publicity stunts planned for this book?"

I think for a moment, "Erm, well it took us by complete surprise we were going to organise something but the speed it took off and got into the best sellers it just didn't need it, but we were planning something for the Christmas sales market shortly" I say.

Gideon shakes his head, "Well cancel it, don't proceed, any questions say the author wishes to remain anonymous, there are no pictures of him in the book and as far as anyone is concerned his name is Thomas Williamson," he says firmly.

I nod, "it shouldn't be hard, it is only at the planning stage at the moment and nothing firm had been established," I say.

Gideon smiles, "Good, I'll get in touch with Brett and organise a meeting, I'll call you later Ana with the details," he says.

"Does it need to be face to face, Gideon, couldn't we set up a conference call like this?" I ask, as I wonder if another trip to New York can be avoided.

Gideon thinks for a moment, "we could, but I feel Marcus needs to speak to his brother face to face and there is a certain sensitivity to this, I don't want to risk anything being eavesdropped on from either end, if we can contain it here in one room rather than two, it cuts that risk in half".

I nod, "Ok" I say.

Gideon looks at me kindly, "Look I know Christian isn't going to be too happy about this, do you want me to talk to him?" he asks gently.

I shake my head firmly, "No, that's not necessary I can do it" I say, "but you do realise he will insist on sending someone with me" I add.

"No problem" Gideon says.

"Right then are we done?" I ask carefully.

"Eva, do you need to say anything?" Gideon asks and Eva just shakes her head.

"Right, I think we are all done, I'll call you later with the details, bye for now" he says returning his attention to me.

"Ok bye Gideon, Eva" I say, the screen goes blank and I am left with a devastated looking Marcus.

"I swear I had no idea," he says looking helplessly at me, "I just thought he wanted to help".

I shake my head, "don't feel bad I felt terrible when Eva told me. I felt I had betrayed our friendship, but there is a lot of bad blood between Gideon and his brother, it's sad" I stop not wanting to give away anything else.

"I feel like I have been played," Marcus says, and he does look genuinely devastated by all this.

"I know, that's how I felt when I found out about who you were" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Christian is pacing and running his hands through his hair, I stare at him in shock, I knew he was not going to be happy about this, but this over reaction is something else.

"But Christian" I try to pacify him, I am trying desperately not to lose my temper, but he just isn't listening.

"I said NO" he snaps and swipes his hand "Enough, the subject is closed" he turns to walk away.

That does it and I jump to my feet, "Now you hang on a moment Mister," I stand behind him and put my hands on my hips, Christian turns at the tone of my voice and before he can retort I let fly.

"Who the hell do you think you are? How many times do we have to go through this? I am not your possession, this is part of my job and as part of my job I have got to go to New York and sort out this mess, with Gideon and Marcus, you have no say in this matter, you can stand there and protest all you like, but I am going. I need to go, I have to go and unless you can come up with a reasonable argument why I shouldn't, and I don't mean you just having a tantrum and saying I'm not going, because that is not a damn reason Christian, you need to be specific and just so you know, your paranoid insecurity is not a reason" I stop and wait for him to speak.

"I just don't want you to go" he says quietly.

I shake my head, "Not a good enough reason" I say and turn and leave the room.

I call Gideon and tell him about Christian's tantrum and that I will be flying out tomorrow, he offers to send a plane for me and I agree as I really don't want to fly commercial and I know that the mood Christian is in, he won't let me use the GEH jet.

Christian sulks in his office for the rest of the evening, and I end up going to bed alone, very early the next morning I am finishing packing the small case and I go to find my husband to try and make peace before I leave.

I find him eating his breakfast and he just glares at me as I approach him.

"I'm going then," I say.

I watch as he nods but says nothing. I sigh and press a small kiss to his forehead.

"Please don't hate me for this, it's my job I have to go," I whisper in his ear.

"I don't hate you," he replies.

"Then why are you behaving like a child?" I ask.

He turns and looks up at me, "Because I am fucking scared" he says.

I sit down and place my hand over his, "What are you scared about?" I ask gently.

I see him sigh and he is obviously debating on what to say, "Welch and Taylor have had information on a credible threat, someone wants to hurt us Ana and if you are in New York and something happens to you it will kill me," he says.

Everything immediately becomes clear and I stare at him, "Why didn't you tell me this last night?" I ask, slightly exasperated that all this unpleasantness could have been avoided, if he had only said something previously.

"Because I'm a fucking asshole," he says shaking his head.

I think quickly, "Look, listen to me, I am flying out on one of Gideon's jets, I have Luke with me and I am staying with Gideon and Eva at their place rather than alone in our apartment. I will be fine, I will call you as soon as I land and I will keep in touch with you and I'll let you know when I leave New York and when I arrive back in Seattle, I will be fine," I say encouragingly.

I see him processing this information, and I wait for him to speak, "Ok" he says quietly.

I sigh and let out a breath of relief. He drops his fork on his plate and stands pulling me to my feet and holding me tightly.

"Please be careful and don't let Sawyer out of your sight" he says.

"I promise, I'll be careful and Luke will be surgically attached to me," I say I touch his face and he leans into my touch.

"If anything happened to you" he says and closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"I know, and that goes for you too you know!" I say, "You keep Taylor close and don't get taking any unnecessary risks, I don't want to be worrying about you all the while I am in New York, ok?" I say.

"Deal" he says with a small shy smile, he kisses me gently on the lips and holds me tightly.

"Ok, I really have to go now," I say gently pushing him away.

"Have a good trip" he says and he leans in and kisses me again.

I return the kiss and grin at him, "I will see you tomorrow" I say I squeeze his arms gently and then pick up my case and head towards Luke who is waiting patiently for me.

**oooOOOooo**

I arrive in New York mid afternoon and the first thing I see is Angus waiting for us with the Bentley, Luke quickly loads the cases into it and Angus takes us to Gideon's apartment and lets us in to freshen up, as soon as we have arranged our belongings in the guest rooms we leave and Angus takes us to the Crossfire.

In the elevator I see Luke scanning his messages.

"Is everything ok?" I ask as I watch him, since Christian's disclosure this morning I am feeling a little on edge.

He lifts his head up and nods, "Yes Mrs Grey, Taylor has just messaged me; he and Mr Grey are taking Charlie Tango to Portland, as he is visiting WSU again".

I nod, I knew this was coming up and it makes sense that he visits while I am here in New York. I smile, Christian is really passionate about the work that the university is doing and he is determined to offer all the help he can. As we exit the elevator, Gideon is standing talking to three men in suits he turns when he sees me and smiles widely.

"Ana, good to see you, did you have a good flight?" he asks.

I nod, "I did, thank you, I thought I'd drop by, Angus let us into your apartment and we have taken over the guest rooms, are you sure you don't mind us staying with you?" I look carefully at him.

"Not at all" he says, he turns back to the three men who are standing looking uncomfortable.

"Gentlemen, let me introduce Mrs Anastasia Grey, she is an editor at Cross Publishing based at my Seattle office, we have a few issues with an author which necessitated her visit to New York, Ana these are my attorneys".

I nod and say a polite hello, and shake their offered hands.

As we are standing talking, the doors of the elevator open and a tall woman exits and she makes a beeline straight for me, she has an air of arrogant confidence about her, Luke is immediately on alert especially when Gideon scowls at her.

The three attorneys disappear into the waiting elevator car and I turn to face the woman as Gideon steps up beside me and speaks to her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he growls, with unbridled animosity.

She looks at Gideon and holds her hands up in surrender.

"I am not here to see you, I need to speak to Mrs Grey, I tried to call her, but I was told she was in New York seeing you, so I thought I'd drop by in person," she looks at Luke, and holds her hand out.

"You must be Luke Sawyer" she says confidently.

"Who exactly are you?" I ask.

"I do apologise" she says giving me her full attention and thrusting her hand out to me, "my name is Deanna Johnson and I am a freelance reporter, but don't panic because I am here on a private matter concerning a mutual friend of ours, Jose Rodriguez Junior" she says.

I accept the outstretched hand but gasp as soon as she mentions Jose. My mind wanders back to the list of women who he had stalked previously.

"You were an ex of his," I say quietly.

She nods, "I was, until his obsessive nature got to be way too much. I believe I have information which you need to see, I have been keeping tabs on him for my own sanity, and some interesting things have come to light, which I believe you should know about, and you too as Mrs Grey's security," Deanna says looking briefly at Luke.

I glance at Gideon who is still looking suspiciously at Deanna. She notices and holds out a folder to him.

"I'm trying to be genuine here, I really am, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with my issues with you. Jose Rodriguez is not a pleasant man and I feel it is my duty to warn Mrs Grey of the things I have discovered," she snaps.

Gideon stares at the folder and nods, "Alright, let's go to my office" he says.

"Thank you" Deanna replies gratefully.

We all sit down in Gideon's office, before we can say anything Deanna takes the folder, and puts it on the table, pushing it towards me.

Gideon holds up his hand, "Before we go any further what's in this for you Deanna and why are you doing this what are you hoping to gain from coming here today?" he asks suspiciously.

Deanna smiles and sighs, and gives Gideon a filthy look. "Gideon Cross, would you just listen to yourself! Just so you are aware, the world does not revolve around you, as much as you like to think it does. I have no malicious reason and nothing to gain from coming to see Mrs Grey, and it certainly isn't an ulterior motive just to try and get in the same room as you… I'm not that desperate" she spits derisively.

Gideon glares at her, "I wasn't suggesting it was, but forgive me if I am little cynical where you are concerned as my past experiences with you and your track record would immediately lead me to wonder if you had any nefarious motives" he replies with an equal harshness.

I hold up my hand "Look time out guys, I get it; you two can't stand each other. But can you just call a truce for a couple of minutes while Deanna tells me what she wants to tell me about Jose and I can look at what she wants to show me and then we can decide if she is the wicked witch of the west or not".

I see Deanna smile at me and she nods and I look at Gideon and I see the amusement on his face and he nods his head once.

"Good, right Deanna, now what do you want to tell me?" I say turning my full attention towards her.

Deanna takes a deep breath and turns her full attention to me "I have been keeping an eye on Jose since we split for my own sanity and peace of mind as I know what he is capable of. The man is unhinged and he believes that the person he is infatuated with belongs with him at all costs, no matter what that cost involves. He tried to kill my brother, who he believed was a new boyfriend when he tried to run him over in his pickup. I have found out some things which made me uncomfortable and point to the fact he has become just as infatuated with Mrs Grey as he did with me and I would never want anyone to go through what I did, when he lost the plot and was a full on psycho stalker so there is nothing in this for me other than a clean conscience that I did the right thing and hopefully prevented pain and heartache for someone who didn't deserve it".

I go cold at that thought and I look at Luke who is quickly texting and then at Gideon who is just watching Deanna suspiciously. After hearing that I can't help but wonder if the credible threat that Christian was so worked up about is related to whatever Deanna wants to tell me.

"Erm Deanna, could I just ask you to wait one moment, before you continue as I think there is someone else who needs to hear this. I pull my phone out and call Taylor but the call goes immediately to voicemail, and I look at Luke in surprise.

"Why is Jason's phone switched off?" I say, the panic rising inside me as Taylor _never_ switches his phone off.

Luke nods but doesn't seem concerned. "He and Mr Grey are flying to Portland today, so they are probably in the air at the moment and you know what Mr Grey is like with safety" he says.

I nod as I remember Christians visit to WSU in Portland and I calm down. Of course that is bound to be the explanation as Christian always insists on all cell phones being switched off on takeoff for safety reasons. I think for a moment and so then I decide to call Geoff Welch, as this needs to be passed on and if Taylor isn't available Welch is the next best bet as it would probably end up with him eventually as Christian's security advisor.

"Mrs Grey what can I do for you?" The kind voice of Geoff Welch comes over the line.

"Hi Geoff, erm, something has come up can you Facetime me on my phone please?" I say.

"Sure thing Mrs Grey" he says.

A few moments later and Geoff is in on the little meeting in Gideon's office. Deanna recaps what she has already said for his benefit and then proceeds to open the file in front of her.

"I have employed a private detective who keeps a discreet eye on Jose for me and monitors his whereabouts, and when it was reported to me that he was regularly visiting a character called Jack Hyde, I wondered who he was and so I did a bit of digging, and I came up with the sexual harassment complaint against Mrs Grey or Miss Steele as she was then, and then there was the fact Hyde had hit Mrs Grey's father in Portland in a road traffic accident. That got my suspicious reporter mind working overtime and my theory is, Hyde was meeting up with Jose, so what else would he be doing in Portland at that time?"

"But Jose didn't know Jack," I say in confusion.

Deanna smiles at me and continues. "My private detective friend spoke to Jose senior and he admitted that your father had spoken to him about your concerns about Jack Hyde and the sexual harassment complaint here in New York and Jose senior had mentioned it to his son in passing, so it is my assumption he reached out to Jack – as he visited New York a number of times while Jack was there," she pauses and looks at me meaningfully.

I feel sick, I look at Luke who is furiously making notes, and I see he has his phone recording this conversation.

"There is one more thing, there is a link between Jack Hyde and your husband, Mrs Grey" Deanna says.

"What… Jack and Christian? If it's the fact that Christian owns SIP now I know that, but I think Jack was fired before Christian officially bought them out," I say.

"Miss Johnson, please if I may" Welch interrupts.

"What's going on?" I ask feeling suddenly afraid.

"Mrs Grey, I believe Mr Grey told you there was a credible threat that had emerged recently," Welch says gently.

"Yes he did, he said he didn't want me come to New York because of it" I say.

"We have discovered that during Mr Grey's formative years after his mother died but before Mr & Dr Grey adopted him, he was briefly in the care of Michigan State Child Protection Services and was placed in a foster home and it has come to light that Jack Hyde was in the same foster home at the same time, and we have since discovered worrying material on Mr Hyde's home computer regarding a general fixation with the Grey family, and also he is still quite obsessed with you Mrs Grey," Welch stops and I feel myself wanting to be sick and I start to breathe heavily.

Gideon stand up and crouches beside me gripping my hand tightly. "Come on Ana, hold it together" he whispers in my ear.

I nod, "I'm sorry, may I have a drink of water please?" I ask.

Gideon nods and walks to the small bar and pulls out a bottle of chilled water and hands it to me.

"Does anyone else want anything?" he asks looking around the room, there is a chorus of no thank you and Gideon sits down again, but this time taking the seat next to me and having his presence closer calms me a little and as I drink my water the feelings of nausea start to recede.

I take a long drink of water, and then look towards Deanna again. "Ok so is that it?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, the latest photographs I have received from my private investigator show Jack is now out of prison again after the road accident and he was seen in a cafe in Seattle meeting up with Jose Rodriguez".

She pushes the photographs towards me, they look deep in conversation and papers are being passed between each other.

"Are you getting this?" I ask Welch and point my phone at the photographs. Luke takes them and looks at them carefully.

"May we have these?" he asks Deanna and she nods.

"Now I don't know what he is planning, but my gut tells me it isn't anything good, there was also a third man who came and sat with them, an older man – quite a bit older, and he seemed to know Hyde and was introduced to Jose," Deanna produces another photograph and I gasp in shock.

"Oh my god Luke, look it's him!" I exclaim, as I leap to my feet, pointing at the photograph.

As clear as day is Tony Garrett the pimp who terrorised Christian, shaking hands and smiling at Jack Hyde, in his other hand is a lit cigarette and I go cold as I see it.

I feel my anger rising, I pick up my phone and glare at Welch who has the grace to look embarrassed.

"My husband pays you to find things like this out and yet we are here with our fingers up our asses only finding this out now, can you explain to me why this is the case and why your team have so spectacularly failed?" I shout at my phone screen.

"Mrs Grey, I... I have no idea but believe me heads will roll" Welch says.

"Beginning with yours when my husband hears about this," I say grimly.

I turn to Luke, "Have you been able to get in touch with Taylor yet?" I ask, and Luke shakes his head.

"What time were they due to land in Portland?" I ask, I have a horrible sense of foreboding and I see Luke piecing things together from what we have now learnt. He calls up the itinerary on his phone and looks at his watch.

"According to this flight plan and the time of Mr Grey's appointment they should definitely be in Portland by now, Seattle time," he says and for the first time looks worried.

I turn to my phone, "Welch call WSU in Portland and see if Mr Grey arrived at the University" I say.

"Yes Ma'am" he replies and the screen goes blank.

I feel myself starting to cry.

"Come on Ana, stop jumping to conclusions" Gideon says gently and wraps his arm around me. Deanna looks horrified and just sits quietly. It suddenly occurs to me she is a reporter sitting here on the possibly the biggest scoop of her life if something has happened to Christian.

"Luke do you have any NDA's on you?" I ask.

He frowns and then glances at Deanna and understanding what I am getting at he nods.

"Yes Mrs Grey, we always carry a couple of copies around just in case," he says.

He pulls them from his inside pocket and pushes one towards me, I hand it to Deanna.

"I thank you for the information you have given us but I hope you realise none of what has been discussed here can leave this room, if the press get wind of this it could put my husband and myself and our family in danger, plus if anything _has_ happened to Christian, I really don't want a media scrum when I return to Seattle" I say.

Deanna smiles and nods, and simply signs the NDA without question.

"Not at all, I did say this was all a private matter, so for me it is all totally off the record, and I'd like to say that not all reporters are low life scum. Some of us have morals and scruples about what and when to report something".

I nod, "yes I know, my best friend is a journalist," I say as I think of Kate.

"Who is that?" Deanna asks.

"Kate Kavanagh" I reply.

Deanna's eyes widen slightly, "As in Kavanagh Media?" she asks.

I nod, "her father's company" I say.

We are interrupted by my phone ringing, I quickly answer.

"Welch talk to me" I say trying to sound calm and in control.

"I am so sorry Mrs Grey; but it appears that Mr Grey never arrived in Portland".


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

_I am so sorry Mrs Grey; it appears that Mr Grey never arrived in Portland._

The words echo around my head and I drop my phone as I feel my legs give way and I sink to my knees. I hear an involuntary anguished howl and I vaguely realise that it came from me. I am being bombarded with thoughts and emotions… Oh my god something has happened to Christian, Why isn't he at Portland? Please god let him be alright, where is he? Is he hurt? What has happened to him? Oh god Christian I love you.

After a moment I try and fight my way through the mass of overwhelming thoughts and emotions that are bombarding me and it is only then I realise that I am curled up in a ball on the floor of Gideon's office and that I am sobbing and screaming hysterically. Gideon and Luke are beside me, I realise that Luke has taken my phone and is now talking to Welch and that Gideon is crouched beside me and trying to help me to get up. I hear Gideon's voice and I latch on to it to try and give me strength and I force myself to stop screaming, but the tears just won't stop no matter how hard I try.

"Talk to me Ana," Gideon says, as he pulls me gently to my feet.

I take a deep breath "He... he never arrived in Portland, he and Taylor are missing" I gasp.

Oh my god Jason is with him Gail will be devastated and she is all alone in Seattle. I need to get home.

I grip Gideon's shirt and continue to sob into his chest as he wraps his arms around me and just holds me, he is rocking me gently from side to side like a child and letting me cry.

"We'll find him Ana, don't worry, we'll find him," he says confidently.

I cry for a few more moments and I feel myself slowing coming back together from my meltdown and it is then my thoughts slow down and I start to think rationally. The first rational thought I have is when I realise that I need to stop this and pull myself together as it's up to me; I need to find my husband and Jason. I take a huge sniff and push away from Gideon. I look at Luke and hold my hand out for my phone, he hands it to me without a word and he is looking at me warily and I am certain my out of character behaviour has worried him.

I turn my attention to the man on the other end of this phone call. "Welch, you'd better do what you have to do to find him, and so help me god if anything has happened to him or Jason, you will not believe the shit storm that I will rain down on you" I say in a harsh tone.

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says.

I hang up and think carefully. The only thought now going through my mind is that I need to get home to Seattle, so I turn apologetically to Gideon.

"Gideon I'm really sorry but I need to get back to Seattle, can you handle Marcus and Brett alone?"

Gideon waves his hand "Consider it done". He heads out of the office and a few moments later he returns smiling.

"It's all sorted, thankfully Marcus was delayed and he just called to say he was unable to fly out today as his flight was cancelled, so I have told him not to bother and I have cancelled the meeting. We can reschedule it for later, but this is far more important. Come on let's get you back to Seattle" he says holding out his hand to me.

I stand and turn towards Deanna, who is silently watching us all.

"Thank you Deanna" I say gratefully as I remember my manners and acknowledge the information she has given me, and the fact that there is another person in the room as I had totally disregarded the fact she was here at all.

"Not at all Mrs Grey, I hope you find Mr Grey soon and that everything works out ok" she says kindly.

"Thank you Deanna," Gideon says curtly.

You can still feel the tension and animosity between these two but Deanna nods at him and then leaves the office. As I watch her go I wonder briefly if she will honour the NDA, but quite frankly at this moment that is the least of my worries.

I have a sudden thought; I am having a bad feeling about Welch. I don't know what it is but he should've known about the threat surrounding Jose and Hyde and yet he appeared to be clueless. Not to mention the fact they were also seen talking to Tony Garratt. I wonder briefly if I am being too harsh and if that is the credible threat that Christian spoke of and the reason he didn't tell me exactly what it was, was because he didn't want to upset me any more regarding Jose. Christian has been very good since I went to see Jose and not once rubbed it in my face or once said 'I told you so' when it became apparent I had got it so wrong about my so called friend.

As much as I try and rationalise it I can't help the nagging doubt that I now have about Welch. Call it women's intuition or just learnt paranoia from being around Christian but something feels… off. I pause and look up at Gideon and he immediately gives me his full attention.

"What is it?" he asks me gently.

"Would it possible… can I borrow Raul to take with me back to Seattle as I really don't trust Welch anymore?" I ask warily.

Gideon smiles at me, "Don't worry I'm coming with you to Seattle and so is Raul and at this moment Raul is organising a team to fly out as well to assist Welch in finding them, we'll get to the bottom of this" he says reassuringly.

I glance at my watch it is nearly 5:10 in the afternoon, I quickly estimate that if we leave reasonably quickly and with the time difference we should be back in Seattle before midnight. My attention is drawn to Gideon's office door as it opens and Eva appears, she walks up to me and grips me tightly in a fierce hug.

"Ana, Gideon called me and told me what has happened, don't worry he will be fine, we will find him," she says.

I don't say anything I can't, so I just nod at her. She grips my shoulders and makes me look at her.

"Ana listen to me, Gideon is going with you to Seattle, and he is going to help you find Christian ok?" she says as she looks closely at me and I just nod again.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

I watch Eva embrace Gideon and say goodbye to him and tell him to have a safe flight and I hear her whisper that she will miss him. I watch as he promises her that he will keep her posted on developments and admit that he will miss her too. I feel quite guilty that I am taking him away from Eva and that she will be left alone here in New York, that leads me on to sudden think about Gail and wonder if she knows what is going on, so I quickly pull out my phone and call her.

"Hello Grey Residence" she says when she answers.

"Gail its Ana," I say trying to keep my voice even.

"Hello Ana, how's New York?" she says brightly and I realise immediately that she has no idea what is going on.

"Gail, I need you to listen to me, and I need you to stay calm. I am coming home, Christian and Jason are missing. They never made it to Portland this morning. There are other things you need to know but I will discuss them with you when I get back. I am just waiting for Gideon, he is flying out with me and he is bringing Raul with him to help us find them. Welch is allegedly on the case, but there have been some major gaps and lapses in the security".

"Oh god Ana, no" Gail sounds distraught and I immediately wonder if I have done the right thing in telling her.

"Listen to me Gail, I am on my way home, and I will talk to you as soon as I get back, I am going to call Welch and I'm going to get him to update you, and keep you in the loop of developments while I am in the air".

"Thank you Ana" she says "I'll see you later have a safe flight".

I hang up and call Welch, he is seriously pissing me off now, didn't he realise she had a right to know that her partner was missing.

"Mrs Grey, I'm sorry but I don't have anything to report yet" he says warily and a little defensively as he picks up the phone.

"Let me ask you something Geoff, you are married aren't you?" I say.

"I am Mrs Grey" he says warily and I can tell by his tone that he is wondering where I am going with this.

"If you had gone missing would you expect your wife to be informed and kept in the loop of what was going on?" I ask.

"Well, yes I would," he says.

"Right then, if that is the case why the hell was Gail Jones totally unaware of the current situation when I just called her?" I snap.

"I..." he begins, but I am on a roll.

"They may not be married but they are together, a fact you are fully aware of. They are a couple and she loves him. Jason Taylor is her partner for god's sake, so she deserves to know what we know. Now I am leaving New York shortly, I want you to pull your fucking finger out of your ass and you do everything you can to find my husband and her partner and you keep Gail fully updated of any developments while I am making my way home, do you understand me?" I say.

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says tightly.

I hang up without another word, I know that I am being rude but at this moment I just don't care, all I want is to find Christian.

"Ready?" Gideon asks, I nod and we head downstairs, and waiting for us is Raul and Angus.

Raul shakes my hand and informs me he has sent a team ahead to Seattle and they are in the air now. Angus tells me that he has picked up our luggage from the apartment and we are all ready to go. I feel tears prickling at my eyes but I am determined not to start crying again, I thank them both and I climb into the waiting Bentley. All the way to the airport Gideon is on the phone, coordinating things from our end and getting a search underway.

**oooOOOooo**

It is dark when we eventually arrive in Seattle, both Gideon and Raul have been working tirelessly throughout the trip doing everything they possibly can to help find Christian and Jason. Raul has spent the flight working on a laptop and liaising with the team he sent ahead. Raul has also made contact with Welch who it appears isn't thrilled about Gideon's team coming in and as he sees it taking over.

When we arrive at Escala, Gail is waiting anxiously for news. I walk towards her and hold her and we hug tightly and cry on each other's shoulder. Luke leads Raul into the security office and they set up a command centre there.

"Has Welch called you?" I ask as I eventually pull away from Gail. I wipe my eyes and I watch as Gail does the same.

She nods at me, "he did, and he apologised for not telling me and he said he is doing everything he can to find Mr Grey and Jason".

I am thankful for that much, "well he has Gideon's team to help him to do just that now" I say.

I look at her carefully, "we need to stay calm and keep positive, they will find them" I say looking at her carefully, Gail nods and even manages a weak smile.

My attention is drawn to the doorway as I see two figures walking into the apartment, it is James Fisher and Christopher Ryan two CPO's who Jason calls on for backup on occasions.

"Hi, what are you two doing here?" I ask.

"Mrs Grey, we have come to help we were made aware of the situation through our colleagues who work for Welch and we want to help you find T and the boss" they say. I smile at them and lead them to the security office; Luke glances at them and grins when he sees them. Raul looks round and straightens up.

"Raul this is Christopher Ryan and James Fisher, they have come to help. Jason hires them as extra CPO's occasionally," I explain.

Raul shakes their hands and introduces himself and quickly launches into a complex description of what he is doing and where the search should be co-ordinated from. I watch helplessly, and then something occurs to me.

"Luke, Christian told me that all the cars have tracking devices on them, does Charlie Tango have anything similar?" I ask hoping that I am not asking a stupid question.

Luke smiles, "It does Mrs Grey, but it appears to be damaged as we are not getting accurate readings from it, but we do have a rough idea of the area Mr Grey and T _should_ be, from what we are getting from it and we have a team on the ground and they are currently sweeping that entire area" he says kindly.

Gail appears with some drinks and food for the men and I leave them to it, I realise I need to call Grace.

I pick up my phone and dial the number.

"Hello, Dr Trevelyan speaking" she says.

"Grace it's Ana, something terrible has happened" I say.

"What's happened?" Grace asks.

"Christian was supposed to be flying to Portland today in Charlie Tango but he never made it, he never arrived, something has happened Grace, they can't find him" I hear my voice get choked with emotion.

"Oh my god no," Grace gasps the next thing I know I hear Carrick on the line.

"Ana? This is Carrick tell me, what's happened?" he asks.

I quickly recap everything I know and Carrick tells me they are on their way over to Escala.

I go and sit down on the sofa and I don't know how long I sit there just staring into space, I vaguely note Gideon pacing around as he talks on his phone but I don't pay any real attention. I am brought back to the here and now as my phone rings. I look down and see Jose's name on the screen and I frown as I remember the information Deanna gave me earlier.

"Hello" I say as I answer it.

"Ana how are you?" he asks, he sounds off and this immediately sets off a number of red flags in light of everything I have learnt about him today.

"Hello Jose I really don't have time to talk to you at the moment" I say sharply.

"Why what's wrong?" he asks.

There is definitely something not right about the tone of voice he is using, it is almost smug and in that moment I believe that he is involved in my husband's disappearance in some way.

I get up and walk into the security office and wave my hand to get Luke's attention, and then I quickly write down that Jose is on the phone and I press the speaker button so everyone in the room can hear the call.

"Ana, I just wanted to call and apologise for my actions previously, you are my friend and I crossed a line getting involved with your mother, I wasn't thinking clearly. I want to be your friend you need friends and I always want to be there for you… should anything happen".

In that moment I know he is involved, I look at Luke and he nods, letting me know he picked up on that remark. He is recording the conversation and encourages me to try and get him to say more.

"What do you mean by that Jose?" I ask.

"Mean by what?" he asks slightly defensively.

"Should anything happen, what could possibly happen that would necessitate me needing you after I specifically told you I wanted nothing to do with you?" I ask.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all, it's just if anything were to happen to your husband I would want you to know that you could always turn to me for comfort and support" he says. I feel an incredibly strange feeling which can only be described as ice cold rage. It is something I have never felt before and I feel it surge through me.

Luke puts his hand on my arm as he can see I am getting angry and he doesn't want me to lose it, but I won't as I am also feeling eerily calm.

"What are you saying Jose, you are talking in riddles?" I persist.

There is a silence and then I hear a voice in the background which I recognise, my head whips up to Luke and I mouth 'Jack Hyde' to him.

"Who is that there with you Jose?" I ask.

"Oh nobody important, just a friend" he says, and for the first time I hear nervousness in his tone.

I hear Jack ranting in the background but I can't hear clearly what he is saying so I ignore him and keep talking to Jose.

"Jose, I'm sorry but you are not making any sense at all, you are talking in riddles and to be honest I have no idea why you have called me, especially considering the last time we spoke I told you that I wanted nothing more to do with you. I would appreciate it if you would either get to the point of why you are calling or preferably just go away, as my husband will be home soon" I say.

I hear him laugh, "Are you sure about that Ana?" he says in a smug tone.

"Of course I am sure" I say with confidence that I don't feel, the reality is that laugh filled me with dread and I am now desperately close to breaking down completely but it is only the strange cold rage I am feeling towards this man that stops me from doing just that.

Jose's tone changes again, this time to something dark and more sinister, "Suppose he doesn't come home, what would you do Ana? What would you do?" he says.

I stare at the phone in shock and disgust at what Jose has just said. What on earth have they done? I look at Luke and he gestures for me to answer him.

I quickly pull myself together, "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response" I say sharply, "What stupid stunt are you trying to pull here Jose, are you drunk or something? If you think saying stupid things like that is going to endear me to you, you are clearly deranged and you still haven't answered with a reason as to why you are calling me".

"I'm sorry Ana I didn't mean that, I don't know what came over me, I miss you Ana I just want us to be how we used to be" he whines his demeanour now totally different.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it, calling me and practically threatening my husband's safety, by making stupid comments".

"Ana I just want you to know that should anything happen to... him, I will be there for you" Jose says.

"Him? He has a name Jose, and his name is Christian and I love him and nothing is going to happen to him" I say, hoping and praying that I am speaking the truth.

I hear Jack talking again in the background and I ask Jose again who it is.

"Just a friend" he says.

"Does this friend have a name Jose?" I ask.

"Of course he does its erm..." I hear Jack say something and there is a significant pause where he is obviously listening to Jack. "Sorry Ana its Jack, his name is Jack" he answers confidently.

"Hello Jack" I call down the phone, and wait for a response, but there is no reply.

"He didn't hear you Ana" Jose replies. Funny that, more like he knew if I heard his voice clearly I would recognise it, shame I already had.

"Oh well never mind Jose. Anyway is that all you wanted, because I need to go now and I am still no clearer as to why you called?" I say, I look questioningly at Luke and he nods in agreement that we are not going to get any more out of him and I am relieved as I just want this strange conversation to come to an end.

"Yeah sure Ana, I don't want to keep you" Jose says.

"Goodbye Jose and don't call me again" I say and hang up. I turn to Raul and Luke, "Do you think we could get anything useful from that?" I ask.

Luke nods, "Yes, I will try and enhance what Jack was saying in the background he was ranting a bit and he clearly said some things which could prove to be incriminating and in the context of what Jose was saying, I think it is clear they have something to do with the disappearance of Charlie Tango, plus we managed to get a trace on where they were calling from, and it is here in Seattle and quite close to Boeing Field" he says.

I am surprised by that as I assumed Jose still lived in Portland, think for a moment, "Do you think they did something to Charlie Tango?" I ask suddenly afraid.

Luke glances at Raul and its as if a light bulb goes off in his head, he turns to Ryan and Fisher.

"Guys, head over to Boeing field and pull all the security footage that you can get from the GEH hanger where Charlie Tango is kept and review it, it's a long shot as Mr Grey has tight security at the hanger but considering the lapses we have encountered during the past few hours its worth taking a look". Ryan and Fisher both nod and turn to leave.

Just as they get to the door Raul's phone rings and he quickly answers, as he does so Gideon bursts through the door, I had forgotten he was here, as I had left him in the great room on his phone.

At the same time both Raul and Gideon exclaim, "They've found them!"

I feel my legs give way once again and I grip the chair as Gideon rushes towards me and he grabs me around my waist to stop me falling.

"Get Gail" I whisper, and Gideon nods and he sits me down on a seat before he goes to the door and shouts her.

She appears looking pale and worried.

"They've been found" I say as tears pour down my cheeks.

I stand and walk unsteadily to Gail as she dissolves into tears and we hold on to each other, clinging to each other in mutual relief that the men we love have been found.

"Are they ok? Are they hurt?" Gail asks.

I turn to Raul who is still speaking and he looks grim. I feel my heart sink, please god let them be alive, and so I look pleadingly at Gideon.

Gideon shakes his head, "I don't know, I just got a text from Jez who was heading the search party saying that they had found them, and that they are alive," he says apologetically.

I jump on that one word, 'alive' they are alive, that is good enough for me and hope and positivity rise dramatically inside me.

"They are alive that's the main thing" Gail says gripping my arms tightly and I realise that she too has fixated on that one word.

I nod but I am watching Raul, he keeps glancing at me and Gail and I know there is something he is not telling us and the relief, hope and positivity I was feeling are now slowing ebbing. He eventually hangs up and looks at Luke and Gideon and I feel Gideon come to my side and wrap his arm around me and I see Luke move towards Gail.

"Mrs Grey, Mrs Jones I think you had both better sit down" Raul says quietly.

I reach out blindly and grip Gail's hand and we both sit down staring anxiously at Raul.

He crouches in front of us and places his hand on top of our joined ones as he does this I feel my heart beating out of my chest.

"They are alive, that's the main thing" he starts but then he pauses, "Mr Grey has sustained a serious back injury but he was conscious and lucid when they were found and he has spoken to various members of the rescue team. He has been airlifted to Portland hospital. It's not clear exactly how serious it is as yet but it appeared that he has no sensation from his waist down" I gasp in shock, but that shock is for Christian and how he will cope with the possibility of being confined to a wheelchair. It makes no difference to me or how I feel about him, but he is such a strong independent and athletic man, this will have a profound effect on his psyche and I wonder how he will cope. In that moment I vow that I will do everything I can to help him come to terms with whatever happens.

Raul now turns to Gail, "Jason Taylor is alive but he was unconscious when the team arrived, it appears that he has sustained a serious head injury along with other superficial injuries including what appeared to be a badly broken arm. He too has been air lifted to Portland hospital. Gail bursts into tears and I wrap my arms around her.

I see Luke glancing at the security cameras "Mrs Grey, Mr Grey's parents have arrived, and it appears Mr Grey's brother has also arrived. I nod and Luke goes to let them in. Moments later the door opens and Grace is beside us on her knees and wrapping her arms around us both.

"They are both strong fit men, they will be fine" she says after we have relayed the details but I can see she is trying to convince herself as much as us of this fact.

I see Carrick, Kate and Elliot walk over and greet Gideon and he introduces them to Raul. I hear Elliot tell Raul that the media seem to have gotten hold of the story and that there are a number of reporters starting to gather outside Escala. I pull away from Gail and Grace, it occurs to me the one person who _should_ be contacting me has yet again failed to do so, and so I pick up my phone.

"Mrs Grey how are you?" Welch asks when he answers.

"You are fired" I reply and hang up, everyone in the room is now staring at me in shock, my phone immediately rings and after glancing at the screen I answer with a curt 'what?'

"Mrs Grey, I... I... I" he stammers. I put my phone down on the table and place the call on speaker so I can shout and gesticulate at the phone because at this moment I am so damned angry.

"Welch, let me spell this out for you, YOU FAILED! You failed to see the threat from Jose, Jack Hyde and Tony Garrett, you failed to know that Charlie Tango was missing, you failed to know and tell me that my husband and Jason had been found and you failed to know how badly they were hurt. Now we need to find out how Charlie Tango crashed, Luke has sent Fisher and Ryan over to Boeing field to pull the security footage, because I received a call from Jose tonight making some very suspect comments about my husband and the call was traced to an apartment near to Boeing Field and Jack Hyde was with him at the time. Something else you failed to discover. So considering all your failings, I have taken the decision to fire you. As your breathtaking incompetence requires nothing less unless of course you can explain to me why I shouldn't fire you on the spot?" I stop ranting and I see Luke grinning at me from behind his hand.

"Well for starters Mrs Grey I was hired by your husband not you" he says curtly, this really pisses me off and I look at Luke for clarification on this and he looks shocked at the way Welch has just spoken to me and he steps forward.

"Geoff you do realise that you have just disrespected Mrs Grey in front of me and a room full of people, if you weren't fired before, you will be when Mr Grey hears about that, and you know damned well Mrs Grey's orders are to be followed as if it was the boss, Mr Grey made that clear right from the very start, so yes she does have the right to fire you, and to be honest with you when she listed everything that has happened I agree with her you really dropped the fucking ball on this one so it's no more than you deserve" Luke says with a dangerously mild tone.

There is a deathly silence and I gear myself up for round two. "You are relieved of your position effective immediately," I say coldly.

I hang up and I turn to Raul, "Can you recommend someone to replace Welch?" I ask nervously.

Raul smiles at me. "Don't worry, Luke and I will take command until Mr Grey is ready to employ someone else, and I know a few people who could do a better job of it than he did".

I smile and thank him. I see Luke contacting security to get Welch removed, and I turn and look around at the people in the room who are staring at me.

"Go Ana" Kate says with a grin, I smile despite my anxiousness.

"Ok, I need to get to Portland now" I say to the room at large, I look at Gail who looks up at me, "correction, we need to get to Portland – now!" I say reaching out for Gail's hand.

Gideon pulls out his phone and makes a call, when he hangs up he looks at me. "Ana I have secured us all a ride to Portland, the only thing is it's in a helicopter, do you feel ok with that?" he asks.

I swallow hard and then nod confidently. Elliot and Carrick say they will follow in the cars and along with Kate they leave to make their way out through the gathering media scrum and head off.

I turn to Luke, "I need accommodation for us all in Portland, wait – Grace will you be staying over in Portland?" I ask glancing at her.

She nods and I turn back to Luke "so that's accommodation for myself, for Gail, Gideon and Grace, and you and Raul."

Luke nods and pulls his phone out and makes the call, then we wait and about ten minutes later Gideon gets a text.

"Ok, our ride has arrived it's on the roof waiting, so at least you will get out without the media harassing you" he says.

I am out the office and grabbing my jacket before he has finished speaking, all I can think of now is getting to Christian. Gail has similar determination and she is close behind me. Luke and Raul secure the apartment and we make our way to the roof. I hear Luke on the phone to Ryan and he looks at me sympathetically, he places his hand on my arm.

"They've found something, they are bringing all the relevant footage back to Escala and they are going to work on it there" I feel my heart sink and I just nod.

"If they need any help, tell them to contact Barney from GEH, he's Christian's IT guy" I say.

Luke nods and relays this. We climb into the helicopter and for the first time I notice it has Cross Industries written on the side, I look at Gideon who just shrugs.

"Christian talked me into buying it – he said that he is going to teach me to fly the thing, it's kept at Boeing Field for now until that happens. I look inside and I see Stephan, Christian's pilot, I smile at him.

"Stephan thank you for doing this" I say.

"No problem Mrs Grey, I was heading out to meet up with the search team anyway, Mr Cross called me earlier after Charlie Tango had been located, to be on standby to go and help assess the damage with the salvage team" he says.

"Thank you" I say again.

We are soon in the sky and as we rise up into the air I glance down at the growing crowd of reporters outside Escala but I don't want to think about them, all I can focus on is Christian as we are heading through the night towards Portland. Gideon has gained special permission for us to drop off at the hospital and very soon we are landing in the hospital grounds. I grip Gail's hand and Grace wraps her arm around me as we are ushered towards the hospital by Luke and Raul. We see a few reporters starting to gather here and they get excited when they see us before they start towards us I turn to Gideon who doesn't appear to be following us.

"Are you not coming?" I ask, looking up at him.

Gideon shakes his head, "No Ana, I am going with Stephan to recover Charlie Tango and coordinate the salvage, so I will see you in the morning" he says, he kisses my cheek before he heads off with Stephan in his helicopter.

I look at the stampede of reporters coming towards us, Luke is one side and Raul is the other as reporters try and block our way into the hospital. I can feel my anger rising all I want to do is get to my husband, we ignore them and push our way into the hospital.

I see Luke on the phone calling in more security to help keep the reporters from gaining access to the hospital. He and Raul quickly exchange words and Luke comes with us while Raul stands guard preventing any reporters getting in.

I walk to the desk and speak to the young girl. "My name is Ana Grey I believe you have my husband here – Christian Grey and also Jason Taylor?" I say politely.

The girl nods and consults her computer screen.

"Mrs Grey?" I turn and see a tall blonde haired man walking towards us, Luke appears to know him as he smiles widely and holds his hand out.

Luke turns to me, "Mrs Grey this is Jez Hamilton, he was leading the search for Mr Grey and T, he works for Mr Cross".

"Pleased to meet you" I say.

I shake his hand politely, as he quickly goes into what has happened. He also tells me Welch was resisting the actions of Gideon's team from the moment they arrived and all Welch's security personnel could see he was not in full control of the situation and they were all anxious about locating Charlie Tango.

He tells me he took command on the ground and coordinated all the teams to locate Charlie Tango and bring back Christian and Jason. He tells me a salvage crew has been sent to retrieve Charlie Tango and that he has security stationed around the hospital to prevent unauthorised access to Christian or Jason. As he tells me this I wonder just how many men Gideon sent to Seattle to be able to do all this.

After my comprehensive debrief is complete I thank him politely and ask him if he has eaten and rested he smiles and nods assuring me he has.

"Ok, I need to see Christian, and Gail needs to see Jason" I say firmly.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

I am standing in front of a young doctor, he has given me details of Christian's injuries and I am about to go inside to see him. Gail has gone up to the ICU to be with Jason.

The words of the doctor are running through my head. _Mr Grey has sustained a spinal injury. Cord injuries usually fall into one of the following categories: Contusions, or bruising of the spinal cord, Compression injuries that place pressure on the cord, Lacerations or tearing, Central Cord Syndrome and complete severing which is very rare. How long the symptoms of spinal cord injury last, depends on the nature and extent of the injury. Minor bruising may go away over time, although full recovery sometimes takes weeks or even months. More serious injuries often will result in permanent loss of function. Treatment of spinal cord injuries involves a 'wait and see' approach. _

_Mr Grey does not appear to have severed his spinal cord but the spinal cord does not have to be severed for function to be lost. When a spinal injury occurs and for a while following, the spinal cord swells. Early recovery of at least some movement or sensation suggests that additional recovery is possible. Lost sensation or function lasting more than 6 months is unlikely to improve. _

_If the injury is minor, only time will reveal the extent of recovery. For those with major injuries, a complete recovery is highly unlikely, and treatment consists of providing supportive care, teaching new skills and developing coping strategies._

_Mr Grey is resting at the moment he has been given steroid medication to reduce swelling in the spinal cord caused by the injury. You also need to know that because traumatic injury to the spinal cord usually involves an injury to the bones and ligaments of the spine, surgery may be performed. The aim of some surgeries is to remove bone that is pressing on or into the spinal cord. A surgeon may also want to stabilise or realign the spine in the area of the spinal cord injury when the vertebrae or ligaments have been damaged but we will know more when the swelling has reduced and we will be performing a scan to see what exactly we are dealing with._

Grace is gripping my hand tightly as I open the door to the private room, I see Christian lying flat on the bed. His body is braced and he has a collar on to prevent any movement. He has his eyes closed and I can see he has been crying.

"I'll give you two a moment alone," Grace whispers and she lets go of my hand, I smile gratefully at her and enter the room.

"Christian?" I whisper as I walk closer.

His eyes fly open at the sound of my voice. "Ana? Is that you Ana?" he says quietly.

"Yes, I'm right here" I grasp his hand and I am relieved when he grips it tightly.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Something broke on Charlie Tango and the next thing I knew we were falling out of the sky, there was no way I could land safely, but somehow I managed it… well sort of, but it was a rough landing and we were thrown out of her, Taylor? How's Taylor?" Christian asks.

"He's alive, Gail is with him at the moment" I say.

I don't tell him he is in an induced coma due to brain swelling. I see Christian sigh with relief.

"Christian we need to talk" I say.

"Yes we do, don't worry baby I'll let you go. I'll call my attorneys and arrange a separation I can't expect you to stay with me like this I..." he starts, I quickly interrupt him.

"Don't you dare" I snap I can't believe he is even thinking such a thing.

"What?" he asks in confusion, and I realise that his negative thought process and natural assumption that he isn't worthy of my love, had convinced him that I wouldn't want him if he was no longer the man I had married.

I stand and getting on my tip toes so I can look him in the eye I lean over him, "Christian if you think I would be so shallow as to leave you because you can't walk... well I have never been so insulted in my life. We will get through this together. I grip his hand, and run my hand down his leg, he grips my hand tightly and his eyes widen.

"Ana did you just touch my leg?" he asks.

"Yes baby I did," I say, and my hand freezes.

"Do it again" he demands I do so, "Go lower" he says I run my hand all the way down his leg to his foot.

"I… I can feel it, it feels strange a bit like pins and needles but I can feel it" he says excitedly.

I lean over and kiss him, "I'll go and get someone, your mom is waiting outside to see you I'll send her in" I say.

I run outside and Grace stands up and looks at me in surprise.

"He has some sensation in his legs, I touched him and he felt it, I need to find someone" I say a huge smile on my face, the relief on Grace's is immediate; She goes in to him as I go to the nurses desk.

The nurses look up at me in surprise as I rush towards them.

"My husband, Christian Grey, I touched his leg and he felt it, he said it felt strange like pins and needles but he felt it" I blurt out, gripping the edge of the desk. I am certain by my demeanour that they must think I am some sort of crazy woman but I don't care.

"I'll page Dr Walker" one of the nurses says as she reaches for a phone.

"Thank you" I reply and return to Christian's room.

Grace is standing brushing her fingers through Christian's hair and gripping his hand she is talking to him and he is looking up at her.

"Christian the doctor is coming" I say.

"Ana come here where I can see you" Christian says.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Talk to me Ana, you said we needed to talk".

I sigh, "It can wait until the doctor has seen you, ok?" I say gently.

"No I want to know now" he demands his voice rising.

"Ok, don't get upset" I say I walk around to the other side of the bed and take his other hand.

"When I arrived in New York, Deanna Johnson approached me, she was an ex of Jose's and is a reporter, she was on that list that Jose Senior gave us – do you remember? She had slapped a restraining order on him? Anyway, she told me some pretty disturbing things about him and what he did to her as a result of that she has had a private investigator following him he came back with some pictures of Jose meeting Jack Hyde and...Tony Garrett in Seattle. Luke was having difficulty in contacting Taylor so I called Welch and he said you had never reached Portland. Gideon got me home and he came with me with Raul, he sent a team ahead to assist Welch, Welch has been a complete dick, he has failed at every turn and in the end I fired him and Luke also had a go at him. Luke and Raul are coordinating your security at the moment. Jose phoned me tonight and started making comments about you which got me suspicious, and we believe Jack was with him, Luke traced the call to an apartment near Boeing field, which got us thinking they had sabotaged Charlie Tango so Ryan and Fisher who had come in to offer their help in the search were sent to Boeing Field to check security footage and they have found something. I told them to call Barney to help them if they need to. Gideon got us here and Raul is downstairs as there is a number of media here, Carrick, Elliott and Kate are on their way here by car. Luke is outside and I'm sure he will brief you better than I have done, but that's basically what has happened," I stop and I see his mouth drop open.

"Ok, where is Gideon now?" Christian asks.

"He went to help with the salvage of Charlie Tango he left with Stephan after we arrived here" I reply.

I stop as the door opens and Dr Walker enters the room.

"Mr Grey, good evening, may I perform a few tests to establish how much sensation you have regained?"

"Yes" Christian replies, Grace and I move out of the way as the doctor moves towards Christian. He pulls the covers back and we both gasp at his badly bruised legs and body.

We watch as the doctor trails a pen down Christian's legs and on his feet, he feels it and describes what it feels like, this seems to be a positive thing as Dr Walker beams at him.

"Well Mr Grey, it appears you are an incredibly lucky man, and it would appear from this initial progress you should make a good recovery, so we will send you for a scan tomorrow and take it from there".

I start to cry with relief and fling my arms around Christian, I feel his arms embrace me.

"Hey come on baby" he says gently, then he pauses and pats my arm, "Ana will you do me a favour?" he asks seriously.

I immediately pull away and nod, "Of course I will" I say with complete confident certainty.

"Will you go and find Taylor and find out how he is please?" he asks me.

"Of course I will" I say, I kiss him carefully on the lips and leave him with Grace who resumes her seat at his side.

I walk up to the ICU and wait a nurse comes to me.

"Hello can I help you?" she asks.

"Yes I am here to see Mr Jason Taylor" I reply.

"Are you immediate family?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Not exactly" I reply.

"I'm afraid I can't let you in then, his partner is with him at the moment" she replies.

"Excuse me... erm Heather" I say glancing at her badge.

"But that man in there is _more_ than family to me. Jason Taylor would take a bullet for myself and my husband and his partner has been more of a mother to me than my own has so when you talk of family, the definition is slightly burred in this instance". I stop and see her reaction. I glance up and see Gail looking at me.

"Ana, come on in" she says glaring at the young nurse. I walk towards her and embrace her.

"How is Mr Grey?" Gail asks immediately.

I smile as I think of Christian, "He's good, he is starting to regain some sensation in his legs already so the prognosis is good" I say. I see Gail sigh with relief and we walk towards Jason, his head is bandaged and his arm is in a cast, he has wires and tubes coming out of everywhere.

"Oh my god" I whisper when I see him.

"It looks worse than what it is" Gail assures me.

"He is doing well, he has some swelling on his brain, but it is already starting to recede which is faster than they expected. They say because he is so strong and fit everything is in his favour. They are keeping him in a coma to allow his brain to heal, and they are taking him for a scan tomorrow and we will know more then" she says.

We both stand there and support each other, two women concerned about the welfare of the men we love and united in our worry.

I walk over to Jason and sit down and take his hand, "You need to get well soon Jason, Christian is fine, he is in much better shape than you are and you need to get well, there is no need to worry about security, Luke is doing a good job and he has help, Gideon has sent a team to help us and everyone is pulling together, all you need to concentrate on is getting well" I press a small kiss to his bandaged forehead.

"Mrs Grey may I go and see Mr Grey?" Gail asks.

I nod, "Of course you can, Grace is with him at the moment, and we are expecting Carrick and Elliott to arrive soon, but I'm sure he would be pleased to see you".

I quickly explain where he is and assure her I won't leave Jason while she is gone.

_Downstairs in Christian's room..._

**(CHRISTIAN)**

"Mom I need your help" I look at my mother and she smiles at me.

"Christian you know I would do anything I possibly could for you" she replies.

"Mom while I am in here, please take care of Ana for me, she will run herself into the ground, she won't leave, she won't eat, or sleep and she will try to take on everything. Don't try and stop her because she is stubborn and won't thank you for it, but please be there for her and make sure she takes care of herself as well," I look pleadingly into her face.

"Christian, you don't have to ask that, of course I will, and I'll make sure that Luke is aware as well".

We are distracted by a knock at the door, it opens and I hear Gail's voice.

"Mr Grey, I hope you don't mind, I just popped down to see how you are, Ana is sitting with Jason at the moment" she says.

"I'll leave you two a moment to talk" my mother releases my hand and stands to leave.

"Oh no Dr Trevelyan Grey don't leave on my account" Gail says immediately.

My mom smiles at Gail and assure her its fine.

"Gail come here a moment where I can see you properly" I say.

I hear Gail move closer and then she is standing in my line of sight, I am shocked by how she looks, she is pale and worried and the guilt nearly overwhelms me. She steps closer and looks down at me, and manages a weak forced smile. I look up into her face and I nearly break as see the pain etched into her face and eyes.

"I am so sorry Gail, how is Jason?" I ask.

"He's holding his own, he has a small amount of swelling on his brain and the doctors have induced a coma to keep him still while it subsides. But it is reducing all ready, and he is fighting".

"Good" I reply.

I was terrified that Taylor had died. I was conscious all the time we waited until help came; I kept talking to him but received no reply so I knew he was in a bad way if not dead and it nearly destroyed me.

"I'm sorry for all this Gail" I say again.

"No sir, don't say that, it's not your fault it's those sick bastards who seem to have it in for you and your family, they are the ones to blame. Excuse me for speaking out of turn sir, but Welch… something is going on there, he was almost obstructive instead of helping and don't be angry with Ana, I believe she was right for firing him. Luke and Gideon's man... erm Raul are handling everything at the moment and you are not to worry about anything. My sister Jean is going to come to Seattle and help me out while you and Jason are out of action – I hope that's alright? You met her a while ago".

"Gail you do whatever you need to do" I say, "I'll let you get back to Jason" I add.

Gail smiles at me and after hesitating a moment she touches my hand, "You are a good man, don't ever forget that" she says and then she is gone.

I think about what she has just said, and I am shocked, from what she said it seems as though she is fond of me, I would never have believed it. A few moments later and Ana returns. She looks tired; she has flown from Seattle to New York and back again in a day and whatever time it is now she must be exhausted.

"Hey baby" I say as she walks towards me and kisses me.

"Hi" she replies.

"What time is it baby?" I ask.

She looks at her watch and sighs, "Nearly 4am" she says I gasp she has been up all night.

"Ana you need to rest, please go home and sleep" I say firmly.

As I expected she shakes her head, "No I'm staying with you" she says stubbornly.

I grip her hand tightly, "Ana do I have to call Luke and get him to carry you out of here, go home, rest and get some sleep" I stop and snort, "I'm not going anywhere!" I add with a grin.

A weak smiles plays on her lips and I can see she is tempted but she doesn't want to leave me, just then my mother returns.

"Mom is that you?" I ask.

"Yes darling I'm right here," my mother says.

"Mom, please get Ana to go home and rest" I say firmly.

"Carrick, Elliot and Kate have arrived they want to see you so I'll take Ana back to the Heathman, we have rooms there for tonight" she says.

I watch as she takes Ana's hand and reluctantly Ana allows her to lead her out, but not before she wraps her arms around me and kisses me once more.

"Get some rest baby" I say in her ear and she nods at me.

**(ANA)**

I leave Christian's room and Luke immediately stands, he looks dead on his feet, and I immediately feel guilty about how tired he must be.

"Luke is anyone coming to relieve you?" I ask.

He nods, "yes Mrs Grey Jez is going to relieve me as soon as you are ready to head to the Heathman" he says.

"Come on then, let's go" I say.

I turn and glance briefly at Christian's door, before I go I head up to ICU and tell Gail we are going to the Heathman to rest, Gail tells me she is staying with Jason and I don't force her to leave, but I tell her to make sure she gets some rest at some point. We hug each other tightly and I head out with Luke. As soon as the reporters and assembled media lays eyes on me all hell breaks loose, Raul and numerous other security personnel some familiar and some I have never seen before hold them back as I step outside and I turn to Luke.

"I want to say something, they won't leave us alone otherwise," I say.

Luke doesn't look happy about it but nods and glances at Raul.

I step forward and wait while the media all shout questions and push to get closer. I don't say a word and they soon realise that I won't speak until they are quiet. There is an eerie calm and quiet which descends on the crowd and they all look at me expectantly.

"My name is Anastasia Grey and I have just been with my husband. Yesterday, Christian Grey and his Chief of Personal Security Jason Taylor were involved in a helicopter accident. Both men are alive and in a stable condition. They are both sleeping at the moment and are comfortable. I am now going to get some rest so I can return to hospital in daylight to be with my husband. We thank you all for your concern and ask that you respect our privacy at this time and allow Mr Grey and Mr Taylor the chance to recover in peace. I am not answering any questions so if you would excuse me, thank you".

I turn to Luke and he leads me to an SUV which Jez has acquired for us.

The media are yelling questions at me all the way to the car.

"How badly hurt is Mr Grey?"

"Is it true he is paralysed?"

"Is it true Jason Taylor is in a coma?"

"Was the helicopter sabotaged?"

I ignore them and climb into the car and close my eyes. The next thing I know Luke is shaking me gently.

"Mrs Grey we are here" he says.

He helps me out and into the Heathman, I am grateful for how he handles the check in and I am soon in the suite Christian was using when we first spent the night together. I am also surprised to see my suitcase waiting, the one which I last saw in New York when we arrived at Gideon's apartment. I climb into the shower and let the water just cascade over me, it feels surprisingly good. I dry myself and then flop onto the bed and that is it I am out like a light.

I awaken to the sun streaming in through the windows. I glance at my watch, on the bedside table its nearly 9:30, I stretch and climb out of bed, after an invigorating shower I get dressed and I am just pulling my hair into a ponytail as there is a knock at the door, I go and answer it and Luke is standing there waiting.

"Mrs Grey, how are you this morning?" he asks me.

"I'm fine, I feel better after that shower and sleep" I say, "How are you?" I ask as I open the door wider and gesture for him to come in. He steps inside and I can see by his expression that he has something important to tell me.

"I'm good, erm Mrs Grey I have some information for you, after you left the hospital last night Jez arranged for security to be attached to Mr Grey to stop the assembled media getting in and he flew to Seattle to Welch's office with Mr Cross and they have discovered a few things, and he wants to talk to you about them. He and Mr Cross said they will meet you here and accompany you to the hospital".

I nod in understanding, "where is Gideon now?" I ask.

"In the air at the moment returning to Portland" Luke replies.

I nod and wonder what they have found. "What about Charlie Tango?" I ask.

"She was found and is with the crash investigation team, it looks like sabotage and from the footage Ryan and Fisher have found… well, we know who it was," he says.

I nod, "Was it Jack and Jose?" I ask.

"Yes and no" Luke replies.

"It appears it was Jack Hyde and Tony Garrett who sabotaged Charlie Tango but Jose was there as he was seen in the vicinity so he was obviously a look out or something. I have Barney working on the phone conversation we recorded to try and get a better quality of what was said by the person in the background, he… Barney that is, has said that it appears that both Jack and Tony were there when Jose called you, as Barney has managed to pick out a third voice. He is sorting that and getting a transcribed script of everything that was said" Luke says.

I nod and I feel sick again, I don't want to believe that Jose would do this but the evidence is overwhelming at this point.

"I don't want them to know we are on to them, I want them to think we are clueless, Raul is handling that side of things at the moment" Luke says.

"Have I made things difficult by firing Welch?" I ask suddenly.

Luke grins at me, "Not at all Mrs Grey, its not easy especially with T out of action but I have called in the whole team and they are all right behind me, I have spoken to all of them and they have all expressed concern at how Welch has been handling things for a while, but they were too afraid to say anything, but now he has fucked up… sorry messed up so spectacularly they feel free to express those concerns without repercussions for their own positions".

I frown, "We need to change the protocol, we need to set in place a way the team can blow the whistle on anything they feel isn't right. Christian pays a lot of money for these people to keep him and his family safe so if they are not comfortable or happy they need to be" I say.

Luke nods, "I agree, I was shocked when I heard how worried some of them were, a couple even intimated that Welch was working against Mr Grey, but I can't see it myself" he says.

We head down to breakfast and everything Luke has said is going through my head. I see Grace and Gail sitting eating breakfast as I walk in. They both turn and smile at me.

"Ana did you sleep well?" Grace asks, and I smile at her obvious concern.

"I did, did you two manage to get any rest?" I ask.

They both nod and Gail answers "A little".

"Why are you eating down here? I thought you'd want to eat in your rooms?" I ask.

"We wanted to eat together" Gail says, and I nod as I sit down beside them.

"Have you eaten Mrs Grey?" Gail asks looking at me.

I smile, "I am about to," I say picking up the menu and looking at it.

I place my order and Luke places his and we sit and talk, it is almost surreal as under normal circumstances this would be pleasant.

We are just finishing when Gideon strides into the dining room. He looks worn out which immediately concerns me and I stand and walk into his arms.

"You look tired" I say and he smiles wearily at my obvious concern.

"I'm fine don't worry about me, what about Christian, how is he?" he asks me.

"He's ok" I say, I quickly tell him everything that had happened and he smiles.

"Good" he says and turns to Gail.

"How's Jason?" he asks her.

"He's holding his own" she replies and Gideon nods. He pulls me to one side and whispers in my ear.

"Ana I need to talk to you, Jez is with me and we need to discuss some things we found at Welch's office at Grey House and the decisions I had to take as a result of that, I'm sorry I didn't get chance to discuss it with you but speed was of the essence," he says.

I nod wondering what on earth has happened; I look up at him as I am more concerned about him at this moment, "Have you had any sleep?" I ask as I look at him carefully.

He nods, "I slept a little on the drive to Seattle, I chose to travel by road so I could grab a couple of hours or so sleep and I grabbed an hour after we finished up at Grey House before we headed back here, but don't worry about me as I don't sleep a lot under normal circumstances".

I hug him tightly, "You are a good man Gideon, and you didn't have to do any of this but I am truly grateful that you did" I say, I am touched by how he has totally gone out of his way for myself and Christian.

He stares at me in surprise, "Ana, you and Christian are my family, you two believed me and gave me friendship not to mention a life worth living, you made me realise I was worth something," he says.

I don't know what to say to that so I turn to Gail and Grace, "I'm needed by security. Will I'll see you both at the hospital?" I ask.

They both nod, I press my hand to Gail's shoulder and give Grace a brief hug before leaving with Gideon and Luke.

I am surprised when Gideon leads me to a conference room, I walk in and stop dead in my tracks as I am shocked by what I see, the room is packed full of men. It appears that Welch's entire team are there and as one they all stand and break into spontaneous applause. I look around and I also see Ryan and Fisher. Raul and Jez stand up and they both have grim expressions but they both give me a smile and gesture for me to sit down and join them.

I feel the need to say something so as Raul opens his mouth to speak I raise my hand to stop him. I look around the room at the large group of men all giving me their undivided attention.

"Gentlemen, I am honoured that you are all here today and that you all give your time and personal safety to protect myself and my husband. I feel ashamed that I don't know a lot of you and I want to make the effort while you are all here to speak with each of you individually before I leave to see my husband, so I can tell him what a magnificent team he has".

I watch all the men smile at me. "I do have one question who is at the hospital protecting my husband and Jason?" I look around and Jez speaks.

"Mr Cross had another team fly in from New York in the early hours and they have taken over at the hospital along with the security of Grey House while we are all here and when we have finished we are all going to get some sleep and then be ready to face whatever happens next".

I nod, "Ok thank you, so let me have it, tell me the worst" I say with a sense of resignation.

Raul quickly outlines that I am to be told everything that has been discovered and in the past few hours and the first to stand up are Fisher and Ryan they pull a screen down and start a feed from a hidden laptop and on the screen appears footage of the GEH hanger at Boeing Field, and there large as life are Jose, Jack and Tony I watch as Jack and Tony slip in undetected. Where the hell is security? The building looks to be totally unprotected. I watch with my mouth open as Ryan taps something and the footage switches to cameras inside and I see them at the rear of Charlie Tango and they are clearly trying to avoid the security cameras from capturing their faces.

"Mrs Grey can you confirm that those three people are Jose Rodriguez, Jack Hyde and Tony Garrett?" Raul asks.

I nod, "yes" I say quietly and I shake my head in disgust at what I am seeing. "Where the hell was the security my husband pays for?" I ask coldly.

A tall older man at the end of the table nervously raises his hand, "I can answer that ma'am, my name is Joseph Barnett and I have worked at Boeing Field ever since Mr Grey purchased Charlie Tango. I was one of the original security staff assigned to the hanger and Welch has slowly decreased security there significantly over the past few years. At the time this happened he insisted on having a training exercise. We tried to tell him that the hanger would be left totally unprotected for a period of two hours but he said that everything would be fine. We were all worried, but what could we do?" he says.

"Thank you Joseph, that is very worrying, are you getting all this Luke?" I ask. I turn to Luke and see him scribbling furiously, he nods but says nothing.

I turn my attention back to Joseph, "How many of you here work at the hanger at Boeing Field?" I see a group of 7 men raise their hands warily, and I look at them all carefully I am surprised there are so few.

"You all felt the same way about the decrease in security and lack of protection on the night of the so called training?"

They all nod and another man stands up to speak, "Mrs Grey, excuse me for saying this but something has been going on with Welch for a good long while. He has been steadily decreasing the amount of security everywhere. We have all been pushed to the limits at times, feeling we could not do our duties properly, we all feel mortified about what has happened with the boss".

He stops and there is a general murmuring of agreement around the table and nodding.

I think about this and I realise that they are all serious concerned for their own jobs but this does not seem to me to be them pushing Welch under the bus to cover themselves, they all are genuinely concerned by how he has been running things, or not as the case appears to be.

"Gentlemen I can assure you that things are going to change significantly. Welch has been relieved of his duties. I lost patience with him and fired him last night. What I would like is a full report, from each and every one of you, detailing the failings and issues which you feel need addressing so that nothing like this happens again. I trust you all to be totally honest and open; you all may speak freely and without any concern for your employment. Until Welch is replaced you will be under the command of Raul Huerta who is with us on loan from Mr Gideon Cross".

I wave my hand towards Raul and Gideon who both sit stoically at the table.

"Luke Sawyer will be in charge of personal protection while Jason Taylor is recovering, so any liaison between GEH security and Personal security should be addressed to these two gentlemen". There is another series of nods.

"How are these gentlemen getting back to Seattle?" I ask.

"Don't worry Mrs Grey I have arranged transportation for them" Raul says with a smile.

He picks up a sheet of paper and stands up doing a roll call as he does so each man called stands up and he is given his duties for the day, after they have all rested. I wait by the door so I can personally greet each one and speak with them as they leave the room.

When the room has cleared, only myself, Raul, Gideon and Luke remain, we gather around the table and Raul sighs as he pushes a file towards me.

"What's this?" I ask as I pull it closer.

I open the folder and see a poor copy of several documents regarding Christian's childhood. I frown wondering why on earth this is being shown to me and then I see something has been highlighted and my eyes travel to it and I read.

It is a police report of when Christian and his dead mother were found in the apartment and it lists the names of participating police officers who were present when. I gasp as I see the name Geoffrey Welch, my head whips up to Raul as I point at the name. He nods and then hands me a memorandum which I quickly read. It appears that when Tony Garrett called in Ella's death he did so directly to the private phone of Geoff Welch not by calling 911 and it was Welch who raised the alarm after the 'tip off'.

I continue to read and go through the file looking at different pieces of paperwork which are mainly correspondence between Welch and Garratt and the more I read the more I realise just how deeply involved Welch was with Garratt. My mouth goes dry as I see one letter where Garratt points out to Welch that he is family and so it is his duty to help him. I point at this and look at Raul.

"What does he mean by this?" I quickly quote part of a letter, " 'you are my family so you have no choice but to be in this with me as if it wasn't for me you'd be in the shit up to your neck' what does he mean by that?" I ask.

Raul takes a deep breath, "Geoff Welch was a young police officer in Detroit and was none other than Tony Garrett's half brother, a fact which his brother exploited on many occasions to keep himself and his less than legal activities away from the attention of the police department".

I read and re read it, "So what are you saying? Welch has been waiting and watching my husband all these years and then got a job as his security officer just so he could get his brother access to him?" I stare at Raul who nods.

"It would appear so" he says.

"But why, it all seems so far fetched I don't understand why?" I say.

Raul pushes another piece of paper towards me, from what I read it looks like a police internal investigation where there appears to be rumours that Welch was a dirty cop, nothing was ever proved but there appeared to be quite a bit of circumstantial evidence against him. Things start to make sense, but not enough for me to understand why Welch would go so far.

I put this to Raul and yet another piece of paper is pushed towards me. In this one, which is yet another internal investigation where I read that there had been an incident of an unarmed man being shot and killed in a stairwell. It appeared it was Welch but he had got off on the testimony of an eye witness, and that eye witness was Tony Garrett.

"Surely this evidence should have been disallowed with him being related to Welch?" I ask in confusion.

"You would have thought so, but with the different surnames and the fact they don't look alike they could easily have kept that fact to themselves," Raul says.

"So how does all this concern Christian?" I ask, still confused as why my husband has been drawn into this.

"I have no idea, but my theory is extortion, all this has been buried and it's only because Welch was stupid enough to leave this paperwork in his office that I was able piece everything together. So I think they cooked this up between them to extract money from your husband. Everyone said how things have been cut back and cut back yet Welch has been claiming for more than he has actually been using for a while, we are working on discovering what he has done with it, but at this moment it is our belief that it was sent to Garratt. My best guess at this moment is things just got a bit out of hand and then Hyde and Rodriguez got involved with their own agendas and everything just spiralled out of control.

I shake my head, unable to believe what I am hearing, then I remember what Garratt said when I confronted him that night outside Kate's, he had said that he believed Christian owed him because his mother had died which had reduced his income. I tell Raul about that encounter and he listens carefully.

"Well that certainly enlightens us even more. If Garratt had this belief it would figure that he would want someone on the inside to help him and who would be better than his baby brother who he can easily blackmail to do his bidding due to his own dodgy issues that he is fully aware of". Raul says.

I shake my head sadly, "Christian trusted Welch, this will destroy him" I say.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

I look at Luke helplessly and he looks sympathetically back at me, I shake my head as I can't believe what I have just been told.

"I want to be the one to tell him," I say looking at Gideon and Raul.

They both nod at me and I can't help wondering if that was their plan all along. We talk for a few more moments and then Gideon stands and holds his hand out to me.

"Come on let's go and see him," he says.

We arrive at the hospital and I head to Christians room, gearing myself up for what is going to be a tough conversation. I stop dead when I walk in the door and find the room completely empty. A pang of worry goes through me when I see the empty room; I glance at my watch and am shocked to see it is nearly 11am. I turn around and walk out to the nurse's station to ask where he is.

"My husband, Christian Grey, he isn't in his room?" I ask, pointing vaguely towards the room and I look at the nurses questioningly.

"Good Morning Mrs Grey, he was taken for a scan about an hour ago, he should be back any time" and as she says this elevator doors open and there is my husband still lying flat on a bed being pushed through the doors. As I look at him I notice that he is no longer braced, so this must mean they don't think he will be in any danger if he moves.

"Christian!" I exclaim and I run towards him, "thank you!" I call over my shoulder towards the nurses as I make my way to his side, when I reach him I grasp his hand in mine and kiss his knuckles.

"I'm so sorry I am late this morning" I say apologetically.

"Don't apologise baby, you must have been exhausted after yesterday, you flew from Seattle to New York and back to Seattle and then didn't leave here until almost dawn, I wasn't expecting you before this afternoon" he says.

"But I wanted to be with you when you went for your scan" I whine.

"Well, it's all done and the doctor should be here soon with the results" Christian says, he turns slightly towards me and points at his head, "but look, they took that damn brace off so I can move my head a little and look at you properly".

I smile at him "I can see that" I say simply.

"Hey buddy how's it going?" Gideon says as he touches Christian's shoulder.

"Gideon, I just want to thank you so much for sending your team here to help out and also for being there for Ana". Christian says.

Gideon swipes his hand dismissively, "Don't mention it, it was the very least I could do. We are going to brief you when we get back to your room as we have quite a bit to tell you, but I warn you, not all of it is good" Gideon says.

We follow the bed back into the room and as the orderlies leave, a nurse enters and does Christian's observations. She smiles and says everything is absolutely fine. When she leaves, Christian holds out his hand.

"Ana come here where I can see you" he says, I immediately walk and grasp his hand and kiss him gently on the lips.

"Baby we need to talk to you," I say, I look into his grey eyes which are filled with love and concern.

"What is it Ana? Gideon said it's not good news," he says.

I take a deep breath and I glance at Gideon as I work out how I am going to destroy my husband when there is a knock at the door. I take my eyes off Christian to see Dr Walker coming in towards us.

"Dr Walker, good to see you" I say brightly.

"Hello Mrs Grey", he says politely, he looks at Gideon and frowns slightly.

"Don't worry about him, this is our very good friend Gideon Cross" I say introducing Gideon to Dr Walker.

I see Dr Walker's eyebrows raise and he offers his hand to Gideon. Then quickly returning his attention back to Christian he begins to speak.

"Well, I have some excellent news Mr Grey, as the increased sensation you are feeling suggested, there is no physical damage whatsoever to your spinal cord, so it would appear the loss of sensation and movement was from when you were thrown from the helicopter, and your spinal cord got bruised from the impact. We have established this morning that, the sensation you first felt last night when Mrs Grey touched your leg is significantly improving, so my recommendations are to refer you for physiotherapy to help regain movement and strength in your lower body. You still need to be aware that your body is very damaged and to know your limitations and take your time but I don't see why you shouldn't make a significant, if not full recovery".

I see Christian smile and look very relieved.

"Thank you Doctor Walker" he says gratefully.

Dr Walker smiles and bids us goodbye and I kiss Christian again. The relief is huge and I feel as though one weight has been lifted.

"That's brilliant news Christian, you will be back up on your feet again in no time," I say.

Christian nods but he seems distracted, he is looking at me closely. "Baby what is it, you look so worried, talk to me, what is it you need to tell me" he says.

I sigh again and sit on Christian's bed so I am closer to him and able to look him in the eye without him having to move his head too much. I glance at Gideon again looking for moral support and he comes and sits beside the bed in the chair.

"Christian, Charlie Tango has been taken to the flight investigators, and they have concluded that it was sabotage," I say gently.

I see Christians mouth drop open and he looks shocked.

"There's more... we already knew that and we know who it was. Ryan and Fisher have trawled through hours of CCTV footage at Boeing Field and found three men hanging around the GEH Hanger, then two of those men broke in and tampered with Charlie Tango" I say.

Christian doesn't say a word at this piece of information, he is just gazing intently at me with that damned impassive look on his face so I continue, and I take a deep breath and squeeze his hand.

"Christian it was Jack Hyde, Jose and Tony Garrett" I say.

"FUCK" he shouts, and then I see him close his eyes in obvious pain as the involuntary movement he made when he shouted out, clearly hurt him.

"Christian please keep calm, and stay still, don't hurt yourself" I beg, and I watch as he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry baby, go on" he says.

I watch Gideon put his hand out and place it on Christian's shoulder and I know he will try and physically restrain Christian when he react badly to what I am about to say. I grip his hand even tighter and take a deep breath, here goes.

"There's more, I'm so sorry Christian. Gideon and Raul have found evidence to suggest they were working with Welch, and Raul has uncovered the fact the Welch is Tony Garrett's half brother".

I stop and watch Christian's reaction. He immediately goes from anger to lost and confused as he just stares at me, so I do the only thing I can think of and I wrap my arms around him.

"Welch?" he asks, almost as if he doesn't believe what I have just said.

"I'm so sorry Christian, I know you trusted Welch this must be so hard for you, I fired him and I am glad I did now considering what has come out" I say.

I stop and wait, his reaction is unnerving me and I glance at Gideon who looks equally concerned by Christian's reaction, as he is totally silent and I can't place the emotion on his face. Then it hits me he's hurt, hurt because he feels betrayed.

"But I trusted him," Christian says quietly, and he just stares up at the ceiling with an impassive look on his face.

This is definitely not the reaction I was expecting, I was expecting shouting and anger, and a meltdown of screaming and the mother of all tantrums but this is far worse, Christian has once again retreated inside himself.

Gideon looks at me and then leans forward.

"Christian, I had to make some swift on the spot decisions my friend, I will go through with you what we have done between us since the crash," he says.

I look up at Gideon and remember him telling me that he wanted to tell me about the decisions he had made, but he didn't get around to doing so I watch and listen as he begins to speak.

"After Ana fired Welch on the night of the crash, Raul and I went to Grey House and with Barney's help we have blocked his computer access to GEH and to Taylor's personal security, on a physical level, we have changed all the locks and pass codes so he no longer has any way of entering GEH property. All the security personnel have now been issued with new upgraded pass cards. We have totally upgraded all the servers and their security, in case he tries to hack into them. Raul has basically ditched all the security protocol implemented by Welch and is in the process of implementing his own, starting from scratch. That way if Welch tries to figure out a way of getting to you through the security system he put in place, he can't because there isn't any trace of it. Some of your security team went to Welch's private address and removed all GEH property from there, and I have placed a tail on him 24/7 to report back on whether or not he is behaving or there is something more sinister going on".

Christian lies perfectly still and just takes all this in he doesn't say a word and then he looks at me.

I stroke his head pushing his copper hair back with my fingers.

"Christian, you need to know that the majority of the staff have hinted that something has been going wrong for a while and that Welch has been cutting back on security and cutting corners. They tried to raise these concerns but they were afraid for their jobs, so I have promised them that a whistle blowing procedure will be implemented so that they can report anything which they feel needs to be said without fear of retribution. I have asked for full reports from the team who were charged with protecting the GEH hanger and I think you should read them before you decided to do anything rash because it wasn't their fault and I believe they tried to stop Welch," I say.

I stop and look at my husband who has been taking in everything Gideon and I have said. The silence is lengthy and just as Christian goes to break it there is quiet knock at the door.

"Good morning Mr Grey," a young nurse says nervously as she steps into the room.

"I can't stay long, my name is Zoe and I am from ICU, Mrs Gail Jones has asked me to come and tell you that Mr Taylor has regained consciousness. The swelling was greatly reduced this morning and so the decision was taken to reverse the chemically induced coma, and Mr Taylor awoke a few moments ago".

I gasp and I start to cry.

"Thank you" I stammer as the nurse leaves the room, I look up at Gideon, "I'll leave you two to talk while I go up and see Jason," I say.

"I won't be long" I say to Christian and kiss him on lips and then leave the room.

**oooOOOooo**

I open the door to the ICU and see Gail sitting beside Jason holding his hand and he is looking up at her, they both turn to look at me as I walk towards them and Gail beams at me, she releases Jason's hand and stands, I hug her tightly and then turn my attention to Jason.

"Welcome back Jason," I say quietly and lean down and hug him.

"Thank you Mrs Grey" he replies with a small grin, "How is Mr Grey?" he asks anxiously.

I hold my hand up, "Don't you worry about Christian, you concentrate on getting yourself well, he is absolutely fine," I say.

"Mrs Grey I need to know what's going on" Jason says, he is pleading with me to talk to him, I glance at Gail and she sighs.

"I tried to tell him everything is under control and everyone is safe but he wouldn't listen, I'll let you two talk a moment so you can fill him in while I go down and visit with Mr Grey" she says.

"Thanks Gail, Gideon is down there with him at the moment but I'm sure he will be pleased to see you" I say.

I sit down beside Jason, and grip his hand. "Well where do I start, I'll tell you everything I have been told and I'll get Raul and Luke to come up and brief you in depth when you are a little stronger," I say.

Jason frowns at me, "Raul? That's Gideon Cross's security man, why is he involved?" he asks in confusion.

I nod "Oh Jason let me tell you what's happened" I say, "Well, Raul is here on loan from Gideon, he is handling GEH security, Luke has stepped up and is handling personal security – basically what you do, and he will stay on until you are well enough to take over again," I say.

"What's happened to Welch, to necessitate Raul being here?" Jason asks.

"I kind of fired him," I say hesitantly.

"Would you care to explain why you would do that?" he asks and although he is obviously concerned by this development he is also a little bit amused by my confession.

"It's a long sorry story and it is pretty unbelievable really, basically I fired him because it appeared to me at the time he had continually fucked up completely throughout the whole day. First of all it appeared that he had no idea you and Christian never made it to Portland and he had no idea you were missing then he continually failed to keep us updated and he failed to tell Gail anything at all, he was totally clueless, the final straw came when he failed to tell us you had both been found, it was Raul who told us, so I lost my temper with him and I fired him" I shrug and Jason's smile gets wider.

I look at Jason seriously, "But since then, we have discovered a few disturbing things which have made my decision the best one I have ever made, he wasn't clueless at all it seems he was wilfully obstructing us;" I stop and take a deep breath.

"It would appear that Charlie Tango was sabotaged, by Jack Hyde, Jose and Tony Garrett, they managed to gain access to the hanger, after Welch organised a training exercise, a few of the men raised concerns that the hanger would be left unprotected but Welch brushed them off. But it would also appear that Welch did it on purpose and was working with those three men, Raul has unearthed information which he found in Welch's office that he is Tony Garrett's half brother. I have spoken to a number of the security team and they all said that Welch hasn't been doing a very good job for a while and some so far as hinted that he was trying to leave Christian vulnerable on purpose. It would also appear he has been siphoning off money, he has been claiming for a full security team while in reality he's been cutting back. Raul is still working on his motives for that. Raul and Gideon have literally stripped out all of Welch's protocol and started from scratch and physically made it impossible for him to gain access to GEH". I pause and Jason is just staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

I let him take all that in before I continue, "Gideon has flown in a couple of teams of his to help out, I don't know whether they are all still here or not, but on the night of the crash they were necessary, firstly to locate and find you as nobody knew where you were, then as the truth unfolded, everyone was working through the night to get everything implemented, as well as guarding you and Christian and salvaging Charlie Tango. Luke is being an absolute diamond, he has stepped up and you would be so proud of him, Ryan and Fisher came as soon as they heard Charlie Tango was missing and gave up their days off and offered their services and Luke has them assigned to Personal security at the moment, It's all a mess, Christian knows about Welch and he is devastated, I have never seen such a reaction from him, I was expecting him to shout and curse but he just seemed to shut down, plus he is so worried about you as well, but I've been worried too and as for Gail... well!"

I stop as I realise I am severely rambling and look carefully at Jason, it appears he has taken in everything I have said. He shakes his head almost in disbelief.

"A few of the men at the hanger came to me and said they were concerned about Welch and his judgement, and I just brushed them off, I can't believe I didn't listen to them," he says.

I squeeze his hand, "Don't blame yourself, I have asked Raul and Luke to set up a whistle blowing system so that nothing like this can happen again," I say, Jason nods and smiles.

"You are a very smart woman Mrs Grey, you say you spoke to the team?" he asks.

I nod, "yeah Luke called the whole team in after you were found, Gideon had brought his people in to take care of everything in Seattle and then this morning before they left to get rest he had them all brought to the Heathman and Raul briefed them and I was invited to the meeting, they all clapped when I walked in and a few of them said how worried they had been, but they were worried about their jobs, I have asked all of them to give a full report of everything they thought was wrong, so we can learn from the mistakes".

"Who headed the salvage of Charlie Tango?" Jason asks.

"Erm... Jez, Jez something, I forget his surname, but he is one of Gideon's men, he seemed very nice when I met him, I think he also led the search for you and Christian" I say.

"Jez Hamilton," Jason says.

"Yes that's right, Jez Hamilton" I confirm.

Jason nods, "He's a top man, as is Raul, I just need to get myself out of here and back to work so I can help them. I can't believe Welch would betray the boss like that, you know with hindsight his reaction the day the boss first saw Garrett was almost as if he knew, and I thought that he seemed to get the information on him exceedingly swiftly, not to mention the amount of information he managed to get, we know how now, but why, what was the point of it?" he asks.

"We are still trying to find that one out, and how Garrett got in with Jack and Jose. Raul got information that Welch was on the team of police officers who found Christian with his dead mother, and that when Garratt called in the death of Christian's mother it was Welch he called, he also found evidence that Welch was a dirty cop, and killed an unarmed man but got off on the testimony of an eye witness who was none other than his half brother, but apart from that I don't know" I say.

"I'm sure Raul will find out, that man is like a dog with a bone, he won't give up until he has discovered every last detail" Jason says confidently.

We are distracted by footsteps, and see Gail has returned.

"Ana, Mr Grey is asking for you" she says.

I nod and turn my attention back to Jason, "I have to go, you concentrate on getting yourself well, I'm sure Luke will pop up to see you at some point and when you are up to it Raul will come in and brief you properly, but for now just concentrate on you, and getting well again" I say.

"Yes Mrs Grey and thank you" Jason says.

I turn and give Gail a swift hug before returning downstairs to Christian.

I walk into Christian's room and my mouth drops open in shock, as I see Christian sitting in a wheelchair.

"What?"I start, as he grins widely at me, who would have thought just sitting up would improve his mood so much.

"I'm going for my first physio" he says holding his hand out to me, "as there is no injury as such to worry about aggravating, the good doctor thinks physio will do me the world of good to help me get me back on my feet again, but first I want you to take me to see Jason" he says.

I smile at him, "Of course I will" I say.

I glance at Gideon who is busy texting. He lifts his head up and smiles.

"Are you coming or do you have things to do?" I ask.

"I'll come," he says as he slides his phone into his pocket.

As I push Christian into the ICU, I see the young nurse who came to tell us Jason was awake blush furiously and as we approach the bed and Gail gasps in surprise.

"Mr Grey what are you doing here?" she exclaims and Jason looks up and grins at Christian.

"I am on my way to physio, but I made a slight detour, how are you Jason?" Christian asks, it doesn't escape me that he called him Jason rather than Taylor.

"I'm doing well sir, hopefully should be out of here soon and back on the job" he glances at Gail who glares at him furiously.

"No you won't, you are not doing anything until you are totally 100%, Luke is perfectly capable of handling things and beside Gail would never forgive me if I let you go back to work before you were ready!" Christian says with a grin.

Jason glances at Gail, "Sir are you aware of the situation?" he says looking at Christian meaningfully.

Christian nods, "yes, Ana has brought me up to speed on everything, Raul is handling everything at the moment and liaising with Sawyer so hopefully we should have a plan of action soon," he says.

I see Jason smile and nod his understanding. "How are you sir?" he asks.

"I'm good, no physical damage, so I'm guessing when the bruising goes so will the paralysis, I have some sensation in my legs when they are touched but moving them is still a problem – hence the physio," Christian explains.

"Jason do you want me to send Raul in to keep you in the loop with developments? Gideon asks suddenly.

Jason nods, "If you would please, I'd be very grateful".

Gideon nods, "No problem and I'll get Luke to come in and brief you once a day on personal security, he has everything in hand but I'm sure you'd like to be kept abreast of anything which occurs".

"I would, thank you Mr Cross" Jason says gratefully.

"No problem" Gideon replies and pulls his phone out and sends a text.

After a few more moments I take Christian down to the physio accompanied by Gideon.

"Ana, why don't you go and see if you can get an update from Raul, find out if anything else is happening?" Christian asks once we are inside and he looks up at Gideon as he says this.

I move to his side and crouch beside him, as I get the distinct feeling he is trying to get rid of me.

"Are you sure Christian, I can stay with you if you want me to?" I ask.

"No baby you go, I... I'd sooner you didn't see me struggling," he says and he lowers his eyes.

So he is trying to get rid of me, because he doesn't want me to see him unable to move about unaided.

"Christian, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you got hurt and you are getting treatment" I say firmly.

"I know baby," he says quietly and kisses my cheek as I bend over and hug him tightly.

I reluctantly leave Christian to the physio and Gideon comes with me.

"You don't seriously think he would've been happy with you there seeing him struggle to move do you?" Gideon asks me kindly.

"No, I guess not" I say, I look up at Gideon and he smiles kindly at me, "Gideon, can you take me somewhere where I can Facetime Raul please? I might as well try and get an update seeing as I've been sent away" I ask a little bitterly.

Gideon nods, "sure, he contacted me a few minutes ago actually, as he's here in Portland at the moment and he said he has some news for you," he says with a small smile.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I say.

Luke is at the hospital with Christian and I have Ryan tailing me, it feels strange not having Luke with me, but with Jason out of action and Christian vulnerable, Luke is the next best thing for him. Gideon drives me back to the Heathman and waiting in the foyer is Raul working furiously on his laptop. He looks up as we enter and quickly stands.

"Mrs Grey, thank you for coming, I have some information for you, you will be pleased to know with the information we have, we managed to secure an arrest for Mr Hyde and Mr Rodriguez, they have both been arrested and are in custody as we speak, but Mr Garrett is still at large. Mr Rodriguez has sung like the proverbial canary, he claims that he wasn't totally comfortable with the sabotage plan, but went along with it in the hopes he could gain entry back into your life should the worst have happened," he says.

I feel sick and shake my head, "how could he even think such a thing" I mutter.

Raul looks at me carefully before he speaks again, "He sent you this, it was passed on to me by the arresting officer, and apparently he was quite insistent that you receive it".

Raul holds out an envelope with my name written on it, I stare at it in disbelief, my first instinct is to tear it up without reading it but I don't, I owe it to Christian and Jason to read it in case he says anything that can help us get hold of Tony Garrett.

I tear open the envelope with trembling fingers and begin to read.

_Dear Ana_

_I am writing to you, to apologise. I have been involved with something terrible and I am so ashamed I don't know where to begin to explain. _

_I realise by doing this I am going to lose what ever friendship we had but it is all I deserve in the circumstances. My confession is, I first met up with Jack Hyde quite a while ago. Kate told me about what went down in New York between you two and I was furious that he tried to attack you, I loved you and I wanted to kill him, but when I talked to him I realised it wasn't you he was after, it was your husband – although you weren't with him at the time, that man was pursuing you and Hyde realised that you meant something to him and so he wanted to take it away from him. So it was his fault Jack attacked you._

_Jack Hyde and your husband go way back, he told me they were in a foster home together in Detroit and that when the Grey family came looking to adopt, your husband stole away his chance of getting out of that place, when they picked him. He has held a grudge ever since and when you got with him he felt history was repeating itself, that man took away his parents and the chance of a good home and then years later he took away a woman he was interested in – namely you and then eventually his job as well. _

_I agreed to help him get back at your husband, I was so angry I wasn't thinking straight, I wanted to hurt you for choosing him over me so when he was released and it coincided with your father coming to visit my dad, the plan came together in my mind. I am not proud of myself Ana, and I know what I did was despicable but I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, I wasn't thinking straight. I realised how far I had crossed the line when I saw you at the hospital, surrounded by your friends and him, and I realised I had lost you for ever and it destroyed me. I have confessed everything I did and I have told the police everything I know about the plot with Hyde regarding the helicopter._

_I don't know who Tony Garrett is, but Hyde turned up with him one day and assured me that he had the power to bring Christian Grey to his knees, so I agreed to help them. In my mind it was a win, win situation for me. They got their own revenge on him and in the process I had a chance of getting you back, if something happened to him I could step in and be the friend you needed. But against the odds he survived and now that you know I was involved you will never want me. So I am telling you all this, hopefully in a small way to made some amends for the pain and distress I have caused you and to say goodbye, I realise now you love him and nobody will ever come close to him in your mind. I just hope he realises what a wonderful woman he has and treats you the way you deserve to be loved._

_Goodbye Ana and I hope that although I don't deserve it you will find it in your heart one day to forgive what I did._

_Jose x_

I am shocked to the core. I read and re-read the letter and then hand it to Gideon, he quickly scans through it and his mouth drops open, he stares at me before wrapping his arms around me as I quietly sob.

"Shit" he mutters after he has finished reading it.

"Quite" I say, "He can't even mention Christian by name even when he is writing about him" I add sadly.

Gideon hands the letter to Raul and he quickly reads it. When he has finished he asks if he can have a copy, I agree but request I have the original back as I need to show it to Christian. He disappears for a few moments and then returns with the letter and a copy. He hands me the original and smiles sympathetically at me.

"Do you have any other news?" I ask with a hint of trepidation.

Raul sighs and opens his laptop and shows me a photograph showing Welch and Garrett talking in a cafe, I frown.

"When was this taken?" I ask.

"Yesterday" he replies, "the tail we have on Welch took it, it appears Welch is wanting out of the arrangement now that he has lost his job, but Garrett wasn't having any of it, we could have had him arrested at this point but my gut tells me they are planning something and we want as much evidence as possible on them, so there will be no question of them being out of your lives for good, but I need your consent on this Mrs Grey. I will give the word if you want him picked up now and to end this, but it is my suspicion we can get much more on him, but it's your call?" Raul looks at me expectantly.

I nod my head, "as long as you can guarantee my husbands safety and my family's safety then do what you have to do" I say firmly.

Raul nods. "You have my word Mrs Grey" he says grimly and offers his hand to me I shake it wondering if I have done the right thing. I feel the need to get back to Christian and discuss everything with him.

As Gideon and I are leaving the conference room, I hear someone call out my name. I turn and to my surprise see Eva walking towards us. She hugs me briefly before throwing herself at Gideon, and I watch as he devours her mouth. When they eventually break apart I feel the sparks between them and I feel guilty about keeping Gideon here and away from the woman he loves.

"Eva what are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well I wanted to see my fiancé and I wanted to come and support you and Christian. I felt bad not being here sooner, but now I am here and I have some news," she says with a grin she looks ready to burst as she grins at me.

I raise my eyebrows in question, "Well it would seem that I'm going to be a mommy" she stops and waits looking at me warily.

My mouth drops open and my eyes widen at that, "You're pregnant?!" I squeal.

Eva nods and grins at me, I fling my arms around her so happy for her and excited about getting some good news, when I so desperately need it.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

I need to get back to Christian, and Gideon senses it, he knows I want to talk to him and so he drives me back to the hospital. Eva accompanies us and she is talking nineteen to the dozen about the baby and how excited she is. My initial joy at hearing her news has worn off now as it has forcibly made me remember our loss and the fact I haven't been able to conceive since the miscarriage. I pretend to listen but in my mind I just want her to shut up. I don't say anything though, I don't begrudge her for a moment the happiness she is feeling and I know she and Gideon will make superb parents, it just makes me remember what we lost.

Christian and I still have to scatter our sons ashes we have talked about having a ceremony or something as well but I think the sooner we move into our new home and we can scatter his ashes as we plan to that will go a long way to helping us heal. We haven't a moment to stop and take stock, so much has happened these past few months its been one thing after another. As I go through everything that has happened I start to feel as though I can't breathe. I think of everything that has happened, everything we have been through and I just want to get out. I feel the car closing in on me and I start clawing wildly at the handle. Gideon glances across at me; I am panting and pulling at my collar and seatbelt. He hastily pulls over and as soon as the car stops I leap out, I am hyperventilating and he is immediately beside me and pulls me into his arms.

"Ana talk to me what's going on are you ok?" he asks.

I shake my head "Can't breathe," I gasp.

Eva comes to me and grasps my hand, looking carefully at me. "Ana breathe with me, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, control it and calm down" she says.

I nod and do as she says. I grip her arms and I start to feel better, Ryan is hovering looking concerned and I see him pull out his phone and I know he is calling Luke.

"Don't you dare!" I gasp glaring at him.

"But, Mrs Grey" he protests.

"I said no; if you tell Luke he will tell Christian and then Christian will worry and I don't want Christian to worry, do you understand me, touch that phone and I will fucking break it!" I snarl.

I hear Eva stifle a snort of laughter.

Ryan nods and gives me a small smile. Gideon tilts my head up to look at him.

"Ana, you have just had one hell of a panic attack, are you sure you are ok?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, "I'm fine, I'm sorry about that" I say.

I take a deep breath, "Shall we get to the hospital now?" I add climbing into the car.

I am feeling somewhat embarrassed about my meltdown and I just want to forget it, and I really don't want Christian finding out as he will only worry and that's the last thing he needs.

I concentrate my mind on the things Raul told me, and the one thing which he said which I found incredibly interesting, the fact Welch wanted out of the arrangement with his half brother. I start to piece things together. What if we have this all wrong, what if Garrett is blackmailing Welch or in some way forcing him to cooperate. I don't voice my thoughts as I need more evidence of this. I look at Gideon.

"Gideon, do you think that it would it be possible for me to meet and to talk to the guy who was tailing Welch when he met with Garrett?" I ask casually.

Gideon nods, "I don't see any reason why not, I'll call Raul and arrange something for you" he says.

I can see he is relieved I am now behaving like my normal self.

We arrive at the hospital and head to Christian's room; he has returned from his physio and is back in bed but sitting up. I walk in and he beams at me and he places his laptop aside. I stare at it as I can't believe he is working already.

He holds out his arms to me, "Ana baby, come and look at what I can do" he says excitedly.

I walk towards him and he throws back the covers and I watch him concentrate hard, he is staring at his legs and then I see his feet move slightly, he beams at me again.

"Did you see that?" he asks.

"I did Christian, that's wonderful" I say and I hug him tightly.

Gideon and Eva walk in and Christian greets them enthusiastically.

"Eva how wonderful to see you, how are you?" he says.

Eva walks towards the bed, and wraps her arms around him, "Christian, it's so good to see you, I'm fine, what the hell do you think you were doing eh, I mean if you wanted us to come and visit you all you had to do was invite us, you didn't have to pull a stunt like this?!" she nudges him and Christian laughs.

"Well you know me always the one for the big gestures" he says playing along.

Eva looks up at Gideon and he nods at her, she sits down beside Christian on the edge of his bed, "I have news" she says.

"Oh yes?" Christian asks.

Eva looks up at Gideon again and he steps towards her and wraps his arm around her shoulders.

"Gideon and I are having a baby" she says.

Christian's reaction is immediate, his face lights up and he holds his arms open to Eva, "Oh that's wonderful news I am so pleased for you both, congratulations" he says.

After he hugs Eva once more he holds out his hand and he shakes Gideon's hand warmly.

"You never said a word" he says, looking at Gideon accusingly.

"No, Eva wanted to make the announcement" he says, "and who was I to steal her thunder" he adds as he looks lovingly at her.

Christian sighs, "I'm glad you are both here actually, as we need to discuss your wedding, with me stuck in here I am going to miss it and..." he is interrupted by Gideon who holds up his hand.

"Wait, Eva and I have talked about this, and we have decided to postponed it... for now, we still want to marry at your beach, and we obviously want the best man to be able to stand up with us and so we have postponed it, and as soon as you are well enough just give us the word, and we will set a mutually acceptable date" Gideon says.

"Are you sure my friend?" Christian asks, and I can see he feels bad about this, but Gideon nods firmly.

"I am" he replies.

"We are still going to be spending Christmas with you and Ana though, you can't get rid of us that easily!" he adds with a grin.

I wonder what this Christmas will be like, it will be our first Christmas as husband and wife, my mother is god knows where, Christian and Jason are both in hospital and we have people who want to hurt my husband. I suddenly feel anxious again and unable to breathe, I go really light headed, and the next thing I know I am sitting in a chair with Eva pushing a glass of water into my hand.

"What happened?" I ask looking at the worried faces around me.

"Baby are you ok, you fainted?" Christian asks.

I nod, "yes I'm sorry, I think I'm letting everything get to me a little bit," I say quietly.

I remember the letter in my purse from Jose and I want to talk to Christian, I glance up at Gideon and it's as if he reads my thoughts, he pulls at Eva gently.

"Angel, lets leave Christian and Ana alone for a while," he says.

She nods and we say our goodbyes as I watch them leave. As soon as they are gone, Christian starts questioning me asking me if I have eaten and generally being totally overbearing.

"Christian, I just had a panic attack that's all, with everything that's going on at the moment I think it all got to me, especially after the letter I got this morning" I say as I pull it from my purse and hand it him.

He frowns as he takes it from me and quickly reads it, his reaction is immediate and he pulls out his phone and calls Luke in, and as soon as he appears he thrusts the letter at him.

"Read this" he demands, and I can see he is furious.

I watch Luke's reaction as he quickly reads the letter, when he has finished he looks up.

"I was aware of it sir, Raul called me a few moments ago and told me of it, he said Mrs Grey was on her way back here with it, and I was going to ask her to let me see it after she had visited with you," he stops and looks at Christian warily.

I see Christian calm immediately and he nods, "So am I correct in assuming that this piece of shit is in custody?" he asks tightly as he waves the letter in the air.

Luke nods, "Yes sir, and Jack Hyde, Raul is still working on Garrett," he says, he glances at me and I am guessing he has been briefed by Raul on what decision I made, I turn to Christian and take his hand.

"Christian, Raul asked me if I wanted Garrett picking up now, or to tail Welch a little longer and to try and get more evidence on them both, I chose the latter as I want as much evidence we can get on them so they can't hurt us again".

I look carefully at Christian to watch his reaction, and to my relief he slowly nods his head and smiles at me.

"You are a very smart woman," he says as he runs his fingers down my cheek, I close my eyes and I lean into his touch, savouring this intimate gesture between us.

The moment is broken when Luke speaks again, "Is that all sir?" he asks, I open my eyes and glance at Luke and see his relieved expression that Christian didn't throw a tantrum over my decision to let Garratt stay at large.

"Yes thank you Sawyer" Christian says, and I watch Luke quietly slip from the room.

I feel the need to be close to Christian, so I slip my shoes off and climb on to the bed, with an enormous amount of effort he levers his body up with his arms, and manages to move slightly so I can join him. I lie in his arms and he pulls me close. I close my eyes drinking in his scent and I sigh contentedly, and then I feel him kiss the top of my head, I run my hands down his body and I feel him tense so I stop immediately.

"What is it?" I ask and I look up into his face, and he looks at me sadly.

"I don't know if..." he stops and I know immediately what he is trying to say, he doesn't know if he can get an erection, and the fact he might not be able to, is clearly worrying him.

I smile reassuringly at him, "Well, let me just have a little play here and see what happens ok?"

I pause and watch his reaction carefully, I can tell he wants me to do this but he is completely stuck in his head that if he can't get an erection then this is some kind of disaster and I can understand why, because I know Christian. For a long time it was how he expressed himself and how he communicated and even now that he has learnt to it's ok to talk and how a full successful relationship is built on more than just sex, it is no secret that he is still a very sexually orientated man so it is only natural for him to be terrified if that part of him no longer operates correctly.

I watch as he starts to breathe deeply and then he looks at me with a bleak expression, "but what if it doesn't… work?" he whispers so quietly I barely hear it.

I smile at him, "It's no big deal if nothing happens," I say then I stop and wait for his permission to continue.

I see him think a moment and then nod. My hand slowly moves south until I find what I am looking for nestled in his boxers. I slide my hand inside and slowly caress him I watch his reaction as I do so, I hold my breath that he feels something, and then I see a change on his face.

"I... I can feel it" he says incredulously, I continue to caress him carefully and I watch as pleasure consumes him, he grows and stiffens in my hand and he closes his eyes and his breathing changes as I continue to stroke him.

"Baby... that feels, oh god!" he gasps.

I smile, and I pull myself from his arms and straddle him, he lifts himself up with his arms and I pull down his boxer shorts and I smile as his erection springs free.

I lean down and take him in my mouth, it's odd doing this and him not moving as he normally loves to move with me and fuck my mouth but I know for now it's down to me to do all the work and so I proceed to give him the blow job of his life.

As I feel him come, I swallow and take everything he has to give me, I gently milk him while watching him enjoying what I am doing. I pull away and lick him clean and gently replace his boxer shorts before lowering myself back into his waiting arms.

"Oh baby that was indescribable, thank you" he says.

"Well it's good to know that all your bits still work properly" I say with a giggle.

"I love that sound" Christian murmurs and pulls me closer.

I run my fingers over his chest, "Maybe later we could..." I say looking at him hopefully.

I see a smile cross his lips, "its a date baby" he says and kisses my forehead.

The rest of the afternoon I stay with Christian and we talk like we have never talked before, I decide to tell him about my panic attack in Gideon's car, partly because I am not totally convinced that someone else won't tell him and I want him to hear it from me. I assure him I am fine and that it was nothing to worry about and I regret saying anything when I see the pain on his face.

"Please Christian don't worry about it" I say "I'm fine now" I add.

He strokes my hair gently and then buries his nose in it and inhales deeply.

"We have had an interesting time lately haven't we, it has been one thing after another, its no wonder you had a reaction to it, as there is only so much a person can take. I'm so sorry I have brought so much pain and worry into your life" he stops and moves away from me.

Alarm bells start ringing at his bleak tone and I look up at him and I catch his gaze briefly before he lowers his head and avoids eye contact with me.

"No, stop it, you have brought me nothing but love, I won't have you blaming yourself for the actions of other people" I say sharply.

"But the drama that follows me... I never wanted you to get hurt by it" he looks at me sadly.

"I have you Christian, that more than makes up for everything else" I say and kiss him softly on the lips, I feel his arms tighten around me and he deepens the kiss practically consuming me.

When we finally break apart, gasping for breath, he grins and strokes my hair. "I love you so much Mrs Grey" he whispers.

"I love you too" I reply.

I stay with Christian until late, I am practically falling asleep, I we have talked more these past few hours than we have ever done before and it feels good, I feel closer to him than ever before. We also made love, which was amazing. I climbed on top of him and straddled him doing all the work, but it was worth it for his reaction when he came.

I helped him do his exercises from the physio and I manipulated his legs moving them and bending them, I followed his instructions carefully to make sure I was doing it right. We were interrupted at one point by the doctor doing his rounds and he looked surprised to see me manipulating Christian's legs.

"May I ask what is going on here?" Dr Walker said as he walked on me with Christians left leg in my arms.

"I'm helping him do his exercises, the ones he did with the physio" I reply with a grin.

"I see, well carry on" he replies with an amused look crossing his face. He waves his hand as he speaks and then after talking with Christian for a few moments regarding some more tests he had run and which came back as expected he leaves the room.

After he leaves I giggle and Christian looks questioningly at me.

"What if he had walked in on us when we were... you know?" I say.

Christian thinks about that and then snorts loudly, "Well, put it like this, I don't think you could have gotten away with saying you were helping me with my physio exercises in that instance" he replies wryly.

When I have finished I climb on to the bed with Christian and curl up under his arm and I let out a big sigh.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks.

"Nothing, I'm just tired" I reply.

As soon as I say this, he picks up his phone and calls Ryan to come and fetch me and take me back to the Heathman. I try to protest but he won't hear a word of it.

"Listen baby, I need you healthy. You need your rest and I will be fine here, please baby, just go, I don't want you to go but I need you to go for yourself and for your wellbeing, so please give me that" he says earnestly.

The look he gives me melts me and I smile and nod at him.

"Ok" I say and I kiss him gently on the lips.

"Thank you" he replies before deepening the kiss and pulling me close.

I pull away when we hear a knock at the door, and I know its Ryan come to take me home. As he enters he nods at Christian and smiles at me.

"Ready Mrs Grey?" he asks politely.

I nod, "Ryan, who is on the night shift with Christian?" I ask.

"Jez, ma'am, he took over from Lukey about half an hour ago, and will be here until Luke arrives again in the morning," Ryan says.

I turn to Christian and pull him towards me once more. "Ok get some sleep, and don't sit up all night working, or I _will_ take your laptop away!" I say firmly.

Christian grins at me and nods, "Ok" he says with more than a little amusement in his voice.

"I mean it," I say raising my eyebrows at him.

"Goodnight baby, go and get some rest," he replies kissing me once again.

I walk into Jez as we leave the hospital.

"Mrs Grey" he says nodding at me.

"Hi Jez is everything ok?"

"It is, oh by the way, I have a message for you from Raul. He is going to call you in the morning to arrange a time for you meet with Paul Sanders, that's our guy who has been tailing Welch and who was there when he met with Garrett".

"Ok thank you" I reply and after saying goodnight to Jez I leave with Ryan.

**oooOOOooo**

Raul is as good as his word, I am sitting in my room eating breakfast when my phone rings, I answer and hear Raul's polite voice at the other end.

"Good morning Mrs Grey, how are you this morning?"

"Good morning Raul, I'm very well thank you" I reply brightly.

"That's good to hear, I have arranged for you to meet with Paul Sanders he was the operative tailing Welch the other day when he met with Garrett. He is going to be in Portland at about 10am and will meet with you and Luke at a place of your choice," he says.

"Thank you very much, can I get back to you on that, as I think Luke is at the hospital with Christian" I say.

"Sure thing Mrs Grey" he replies and we talk a few moments longer and then hang up.

I quickly call Luke to find out where he is and where we can meet up with Paul Sanders.

"Hi Luke, I have just spoken to Raul and Paul Sanders is willing to meet with us today he is in Portland from 10am onwards, where do you want to meet him?" I ask.

"Don't worry Mrs Grey, I will call Raul and arrange everything, and arrange a suitable place for us all to talk in private, Fisher is your CPO today, and Ryan will be covering Mr Grey while I am meeting Sanders with you" he says efficiently.

"Thank you Luke" I say gratefully.

When I am ready to go, I head to Gail's room, and as I reach the door she is just leaving, she smiles at me and hugs me tightly.

"Good morning Ana, are you on your way to the hospital?" she asks.

I nod, "yes I am, and perhaps we could ride together?" I say.

"That's very kind of you I'd love to" Gail replies.

"Oh by the way, Grace went back to Seattle last night. She stopped by your room but you were not there, she called Mr Grey and he said you had just left. Mr Cross had arranged for her to fly back to Seattle and so she had to leave, so she asked me to tell you she had gone and that she will call you at some point today," she adds.

"Oh alright, thanks" I say.

We make our way downstairs and Fisher holds the door of the SUV open for us. There is still a small media presence, but nothing on the scale that there was when the news broke, they continue to shout the same questions at me which I continue to studiously ignore.

"When we get to the hospital Luke is waiting for us and Gail heads off to see Jason, she is excited today as he is well enough to be transferred from the ICU to a normal room. I am hoping to get up to see him myself when he is settled. Luke ushers me into a small office he has procured for us. Sitting inside is a young man with startlingly blonde hair and blue eyes, he stands as I walk in and offers his hand to me.

"Mrs Grey, I'm pleased to meet you," he says politely.

"Good morning, please sit down" I say gesturing to the seat he has just vacated. I sit down next to him and lean towards him.

"Mr Sanders can you tell me what was said between Welch and Garrett?" I ask hopefully.

He nods and pulls a device out of his pocket, "I can do better than that Mrs Grey, I have a recording of what was said, we managed to plant a bug on Welch, and we got everything that was said, I have taken the liberty of transcribing the conversation for you as well so you can read it at your leisure," he says handing me some papers.

"Thank you very much" I say, I don't ask how they managed to bug Welch as I really don't want to know. I watch Sanders fumble with the device and then I hear Welch's familiar voice.

"Well it's done, what the hell did you do to that helicopter? The fucking thing fell from the sky, you were supposed to just tamper with it a little, not rip stuff off".

I hear a chesty cough and then a throaty laugh in response and then a gravelly voice which is dripping with smugness replies. "Relax little bro, if a job is worth doing its worth doing well, and Hyde decided that he wanted a good job doing, what is his problem with your boss? He fucking loathes him, he has him in his sights and it won't be pretty, he makes me look like the good guy, I mean I just want the fucker's money!" I go cold at that but try not to make any reaction and I continue to listen carefully.

The next thing I hear is Welch sighing. "He blames Grey for the state of his life, he was in a foster home with him in Detroit and never got over the fact the Grey's didn't adopt him, he's unstable. But the thing is he had a mother so there was no way he was going to get adopted by anyone" Welch explains.

There is a brief silence before Garrett speaks again but when he does what he says makes me go cold. "Yeah, he's one crazy fucker and he's got a thing about her as well".

"Who? Mrs Grey?" Welch asks.

Garrett lets out a small laugh at that, "Yeah, she's a feisty spitfire, fucking fit though, wouldn't mind doing her, the bitch burnt me with my own ciggy and asked me if it hurt, so she must know what I did to the little shit when he got in the way back in the day". I feel my anger rising at the nonchalant way he just says that, he put out lit cigarettes on my husband when he was child and he thinks it's no big deal. I ball my hands into fists and I try and control my rising temper.

"What?! So you were the one who scarred him, he has burn marks all over his chest and back, are you telling me that really was you?" Welch exclaims loudly, and that surprises me, I wasn't expecting that, he seems as shocked and disgusted as I was to hear about it.

Garratt snorts and quickly fires back at him defensively. "Yeah it was me, what about it? Little shit used to get on my nerves, that runt was always trailing after his mother when I wanted to fuck her, or when she was supposed to be earning me money". Once again I try and keep myself calm when all I want to do is run out of here; track Garratt down and fucking kill him.

"But he was a baby! How could you do that to an innocent child?" Welch says with a satisfying level of disgust.

"Very easily, do you want me to show you?" Garratt snaps, and I realise he doesn't like being called to account for his actions.

I hear a deep sigh and I wait as there seems to be a long silence before anyone speaks, when they do it is Welch.

"Look, I've been fired I can't help you anymore, and to be honest I wasn't expecting this go as far as it has. Jason Taylor is in a fucking coma and that guy is bonafide hero, he doesn't deserve to get hurt, and to be honest you have made me feel ill saying what you did. Ok Grey is a prize prick, but you helped make him that way with what you did to him" he says. I almost fist pump at that, yeah you tell him.

"Oh my fucking heart bleeds! Call it all collateral damage, like the kid you shot that day eh!" Garratt fires back.

"Well you can't blackmail me anymore about that, as I don't have a job for you to ruin for me, I've been fired, so as of this moment I quit, I am not being a part of this anymore" Welch retorts angrily. I was right, he was being blackmailed into helping his brother, and it explains why he so willingly gave us all the information on Garratt after that first time Christian saw him.

I hear a thud and Sanders explains that Garratt had thumped his fist down on the table.

Then I hear Garratt's voice and he is angry at what Welch has said. "Oh yes you are, and you are in it up to your fucking neck. I'm telling you now if I go down you are going with me and I want his money - I want what's due to me from that little shit. His mother cost me in coke and fucking died before she had worked off her debt, he got in the way and cost me money when she was supposed to be earning it for me so now he is Mr big shot billionaire I want a part of it, and I will get what I want". I sit with my mouth open at that, well at least now we know.

"Well I can't help you anymore, I was fired, what part of that don't you understand?" Welch says sarcastically, I can tell he is getting fed up now.

There is another long silence and the Garratt speaks again and it appears he isn't giving up. "So you keep saying, little Mrs Grey gave you your marching orders eh, well you always were an annoying shit, a bit like him really, you my friend are going to help me get until I tell you that you are finished do you understand me?"

I hear Welch sigh "What do I have to do now?" he says with a tone of utter resignation.

There is another brief silence as Garratt must be working out exactly what he is going to do next. "Well, it seems the little shit loves his wife, and she loves him, so she should be worth a fair few bucks for her safe return, should she go missing" he says and I go cold at that and I look up at Luke and he nods and gives a reassuring smile. I quickly return my attention back to the recording as I hear a loud laugh.

"Are you kidding? He's fucking paranoid about her safety, no fucker can get anywhere near her, she has more security than the damn president!" Welch exclaims when he has stopped laughing.

"Well you'll just have to get creative then, you know the security protocol, get around it" Garratt insists.

"No way, she has done nothing to you, this is getting way out of hand now, you went too far with the sabotage and I won't be a party to kidnapping, just because she fell in love with Grey doesn't mean she deserves that, I won't do it" Welch says with a determined finality.

I hear another thump so I am guessing Garratt has hit the table once more. "You will, besides it will give me pleasure having her, it will show those two amateurs how a real man does things, that Spanish retard whining on about how much he loved her and how she should be his and not with Grey, and Hyde well he's just a fucking fruit loop. You should never have introduced me to them, I knew they would be trouble and fuck up my plans but at least they have taken the fall and the heat off of me and so I can slide in under the radar while everything is in chaos and snatch that bitch right from under their fucking noses" he rants and my mouth drops open as I hear him.

"I don't want to hear any more of this shit, I won't do it, I won't be a part of this, and you are on your own" Welch says with a determined sense of finality.

I watch as Paul Sanders turns off the device. "At this point Welch stood up and left, so that was the end of the recording, I left shortly afterwards," he says.

I sit back in my seat, and my heart is pounding, I was right, he was forcing Welch to do his bidding. I look at Luke who now looks as ashen as I do.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

"You are welcome ma'am; I've taken the liberty of producing a copy for you. Raul has the original, and don't worry Mrs Grey, because you have a ring of steel around you. You are not aware of it, but Raul has you covered, so rest assured that there is no way that fucker will get anywhere near you, you are completely safe" Sanders says reassuringly.

I manage a small genuine smile when I hear this, "Thank you" I say again, but I don't say anything else as I don't have anything else I can say.

I watch as Saunders stands and I shake his hand and watch him as he leaves the room, I turn to Luke and Garratt's words are swirling around in my head and it makes my decision so easy.

"Tell Raul to take that bastard down," I say harshly, "I think we have all the evidence we need here to convict him".

"Yes ma'am" he replies and gets on his phone straight away. I hear him relaying my message to Raul and the next thing he is offering me his phone.

"Mrs Grey, Raul wants to talk to you" he says. I reach for Luke's phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello" I say.

"Mrs Grey, I think that is an excellent idea, I will execute this straight away, and you have no need for any concern there is no way he will be able to get anywhere near you, you have my personal guarantee on that" Raul says proudly.

"Thank you" I say, once again unable to say anything more.

I hand Luke his phone back, "I'm going up to see Jason before I go to Christian" I say, I am feeling a little unnerved by the conversation I have just listened to.

"That's fine Mrs Grey" he says.

I walk into Jason's room and see him sitting talking, he looks towards me and his smile fades as he sees me.

"Ana?" he asks Gail looks around and she looks concerned.

I walk towards her and fall into her arms and sob. "Ana come on talk to me what's happened is Mr Grey ill?" she asks.

"I'm sorry Gail, you don't need this, but I just needed a hug, and I look on you as a surrogate mom and I didn't have anyone else to turn to, I don't know if I should tell Christian," I am rambling and Gail leads me to a seat.

"Ana what's happened? Has something happened to Mr Grey?" Gail asks, gripping my hand. Jason is leaning forward and looking expectantly at me. I begin to feel so bad for involving him when he is supposed to be recuperating.

I shake my head and hand Jason the transcribed sheets of conversation, and the flash drive, he plugs the flash drive into his laptop and clicks on the file, once again the voices of Welch and Garrett fill my ears, I watch as Jason listens to it while reading the paperwork. I see him stiffen and then go deathly white. I glance at Gail and she looks horrified at what she has heard. He pauses it and picks his phone up.

"Luke it's me, who do you have on Mrs Grey?" I see him listening and the colour slowly returns to his face. "Ok you do realise that you should have told me about this... I see, oh right... I understand, bye Luke".

Jason looks up at me, "Ana, look at me, you are safe and so is Mr Grey, nothing is going to happen to either of you".

I nod at him, it hasn't escaped my notice that he called me Ana, something he has studiously avoided doing ever since we first met. I glance at Gail who is still looking from Jason to me with a horrified expression on her face.

"I'm so sorry Jason, you are recovering as well I should never have shown this to you" I say between sniffs and sobs.

"No, you did the right thing, now wash your face and go down and see your husband, and you need to tell him about this, it will be better coming from you, you know how he gets," Jason smiles at me and strokes my arm encouragingly.

"Thank you" I say gratefully and I turn to leave. As I reach the door I stop, "I'm really glad you are getting better Jason, and I'm sorry".

I reach Christian's room and he is staring at his laptop screen, I clear my throat as I walk in and he raises his head to look at me, and he smiles widely.

"Hi baby, come here" he says pushing his laptop to one side and holding his arms open to me. I walk into his arms and immediately feel safe and loved. I cling to him and bury my face into his chest.

"Ana, what's wrong?" he asks.

I shake my head and say nothing. "Ana talk to me" he says a little more sternly.

"I met with Paul Sanders today and listened to a conversation between Welch and Garrett, it appears Garrett was blackmailing Welch with revealing the details about the shooting he was involved in and he was wanting Welch to get involved with another attack on you... us" I stop.

"What was it?" Christian asks.

"He wants money, the way he sees it, your mother died before she had worked off her debt to him for the drugs he gave her and so he sees it that you owe him, and he wanted Welch to help him abduct... me" I stop as I feel Christian's arms tighten around me.

"Don't worry, Welch refused to help him, and Raul has assured me there is no possible way he will get anywhere near us, I have told Raul to end it and bring him in, the evidence we have is pretty convincing, they were talking about Charlie Tango and Jose and Jack are mentioned as well so its all pretty damning".

"You will stay with me today" Christian says firmly.

"That was my plan anyway," I say as I nuzzle closer to him.

We are disturbed by a knock at the door and a middle aged man appears. Christian grins at him.

"Are you ready for today's torture... erm I mean physiotherapy Mr Grey?" the doctor says smiling at him. I realise this must be the Physio, I stand up and offer my hand.

"Hello, I'm Mrs Grey, I have been helping Christian with his exercises, I was wondering if I could sit in and watch today so I can see where I can help?" I ask.

"Pleased to meet you Mrs Grey and you are very welcome to join us, are you ready then Mr Grey?" he says, but makes no effort to help him. He just pushes the wheelchair he has brought in with him towards Christian and watches carefully. I rush to help him, but Christian puts his hand up.

"No baby, I have to do this myself, if you could just steady the chair for me I'll do the rest myself" he says.

I nod and watch him heave himself out of the bed, and pull his legs over the side before transferring to the wheelchair".

"Ok let's go!" Christian says pointing at the door, and I grin, still the control freak giving out his orders.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

I am watching Christian being put through his paces and it breaks my heart to see him struggling, at one point he is grimacing with the effort and he looks across helplessly at me. I give him a reassuring look and I stand and walk towards him.

"Come on Christian you can do this, where is that single minded confident CEO I married?" I whisper in his ear and I rub his arm encouragingly.

I watch as determination washes over him and a steely expression appears in his eyes and then we all see something remarkable, he moves his leg. He looks as astonished as we are as he was clearly not expecting it.

"Did you see that baby?" he gasps.

"I did, now do it again" I demand.

Once again his leg moves, not a lot but it was movement and I see a smile on the physio's face.

"Well I think you need to take over his physio, as you seem to be getting better results than me!" he says.

"That is because she is my reason to live," Christian says quietly.

I fight to hold back the tears trying to escape and I look at him, "Well, you had better do that again then" I say firmly.

Christian grins and I watch him slowly move his legs. After a gruelling session we return to his room and Christian is on a high after his achievements. I push Christian into the shower and he manoeuvres himself in and sits on the bench to clean himself. I stand and wait, watching to make sure he is ok before helping him dry himself and getting him back to bed.

We are sitting talking when there is a knock at the door and when it opens we see Gail pushing Jason into the room.

Christian's face lights up when he sees him. "Taylor, well you are a sight for sore eyes, it's good to see you" he says.

"You too sir," Jason replies.

"How are you?" Christian asks seriously.

"I'm good, give it a few more days then I am out of here" he says.

"No you are not!" Gail says slapping him on the shoulder.

I giggle, Jason Taylor burly security ex military man who could kill someone with his bare hands is brought into line by a woman half his size. Then I think about Christian and I, and I realise for the first time that I am the one who holds the power in our relationship too.

"Sir, are you aware of conversation between Garrett and Welch?" Jason asks looking swiftly at me.

Christian nods, "Ana briefly told me about it" he says stiffly.

Jason hands him the flash drive and the papers I gave him earlier, and Christian plugs it into his laptop and listens and reads the papers, his expression impassive. When it has finished, Christian looks at me and I see the fear in his eyes.

"Don't worry Christian," I say trying to calm him, "Raul assured me we will be fine and he is bringing Garrett in" I say, hoping that I am right.

As we sit there discussing the conversation my phone rings, I glance at it and it is a number I don't recognise. I let it go to voicemail and am surprised when I see that a message has been left. I retrieve it and I gasp when I hear Welch's voice coming to me.

"Mrs Grey, this is Geoff Welch here, I implore you not to hang up before you finish listening to this message, you are in danger. Tony Garrett is determined to abduct you in an attempt to extort money from Mr Grey. I know this because... because he is my brother, and he is also behind the Charlie Tango incident. I cannot stand by and watch him do this, he is unstable. Please take notice of this message and inform the security team to be on high alert, he is planning to abduct you from the hospital this evening when you leave to go the Heathman, please believe me on this and thank you for listening to it and goodbye" the line goes dead and I am rigid with anxiety.

"Baby? What is it?" Christian asks.

"Erm... what?" I say returning to planet earth I look at him and he is staring at me.

"Baby what's happened, who was that?" he asks.

"Welch" I say shortly and hand him my phone.

He calls up the phone message and listens to it, almost immediately he grabs his phone and calls Raul and shouts Luke who must have been just outside as he immediately enters the room. Raul has obviously answered his phone, because the next thing Christian is demanding more security and answers as to why Garrett hasn't been picked up yet.

I figure that Raul is patiently explaining things to him, as I see him calm and quieten. I hold out my hand and gesture to him that I want his phone, he tells Raul that I want to speak and he puts me on the line.

"Raul, hi it's Ana I have received a message from Welch warning me about Garrett, he is planning to try and take me when I leave the hospital tonight" I say.

"Yes Mrs Grey we have received the same message, I was just telling Mr Grey that security has been upgraded and we are ready to take him, we need him to think we are oblivious and we need to catch him in the act".

"Ok, so I am kind of like bait" I say quietly.

"NO!" Christian bellows, I put my hand out and squeeze his arm, as he leans forward waving his arms and gesturing wildly for his phone. I put the call on speaker so he can hear and I push his hand away.

"RAUL I WILL NOT HAVE MY WIFE USED AS BAIT" Christian shouts at his phone.

"Mr Grey, I assure you she will be safe and in our sights at all times, it is the only way to apprehend the subject," Raul replies calmly.

I decide to step in, "It's ok Raul, I will do it".

I glare at Christian daring him to say anything else, I hear him growl and he throws his hands up in the air in despair.

"Raul, Jason Taylor here, can you explain me to the plan of action?" he says calmly, I know he is doing this to try and calm Christian down and reassure him.

"Hello Jason, how are you? I hope you are recovering well" Raul says politely.

"I am thank you" Jason responds.

"Well, the plan is Mrs Grey is to continue with her nightly routine of leaving the hospital around the time she normally does. I have twenty Cross Industries security personnel at present stationed around the hospital blending in as visitors. They are in constant contact with Sawyer and Fisher who is Mrs Grey's CPO today. Ryan is also on the ground posing as press control, stationed outside the hospital, this amount will be doubled tonight, and outside the hospital I will have fifteen GEH security personnel, strategically placed around the grounds. I will also personally be on the ground tonight co-ordinating the operation". He stops speaking and I look at Jason's expression, he looks impressed and nods at Christian.

Christian rubs his face with his hand, "Raul, you personally guarantee my wife's safety?" he says.

"I do Mr Grey," Raul says confidently.

Christian looks at me and I raise my eyebrows at him and he sighs.

"Fine" he says shortly, "But I swear to god if anything, anything at all happens to my wife, I will personally make you pay, do you understand me?" he growls.

"I do sir" Raul says calmly.

I wrap my arms around Christian's neck and he pulls me away and looks straight at me.

"No fucking heroics Anastasia, do you understand me, you do exactly what the security team tells you and you do not deviate from it for any reason, I'm not happy about this at all, so you will do exactly as you are told and you will ring me as soon as you are safely back in the Heathman do you understand me?"

I nod at him, it hasn't escaped my notice that he has used my full name, "yes Christian" I say.

He looks pacified by my response and nods, and then turns his attention to Luke.

"Leave Fisher here with me, I want you with Ana, and you are not to let her out of your sight, please Luke keep her safe," he says almost pleading and we all noticed that he called Luke by his first name.

Luke nods confidently, "Yes sir, I informed Raul you would probably want to switch CPO's if you agreed to this, and Raul has been working on the assumption I will be Mrs Grey's CPO tonight".

Christian nods "Ok that's all Sawyer thank you" he says and Luke leaves the room.

"What do you think Taylor, does all this sound doable to you?" Christian asks Jason.

I see him think a moment before he answers, "Mr Grey, Raul Huerta is the best, if he is confident and says nothing will go wrong, you can believe him, he will have every eventuality covered and if he is on the ground personally, I can't see how it will fail" Jason says.

I look at him and I believe that he is speaking the truth and not just pacifying Christian and telling him what he wants to hear.

**oooOOOooo**

All too soon the time for me to leave arrives. Christian is beside himself and is snapping at everyone around him. I wrap my arms around him and whisper into his ear.

"Calm down! Everything is going to be fine, just trust your team and Gideon's teams to do this," I say and I kiss him.

He clings to me as if his life depends on it, "I'll try its just you are my world Ana and I won't survive if anything happens to you, please listen to them baby, and don't do anything stupid!" he looks at me, the fear and worry is clearly etched on his face.

I stroke his cheek and he leans into my touch, "I'll be good" I whisper to him.

There is a knock at the door and Raul enters with Luke.

"Are you ready Mrs Grey?" he asks politely.

I take a deep breath and nod. He smiles at me and walks over he has something in his hand.

"I'd like you to wear this please," he says handing me a tiny box.

I look at it suspiciously, "What is it?" I ask.

"State of the art, recording device and tracker in one, one of Mr Cross's subsidiary companies have been developing it," Raul explains.

I nod and watch as he attaches it under the collar of my jacket; he speaks into his sleeve and then presses an earpiece to his ear. Then he leans towards me and speaks to me.

"Testing, testing, one, two, three, are you getting this Mike, over?" he says.

He presses the earpiece and listens and then smiles widely.

"We are up and running Mrs Grey, ok when you are ready to leave just go as you normally would ok, Luke will be with you and you will be absolutely fine," Raul assures me.

I nod and turn to Christian who looks absolutely petrified.

"I'm going then, ok?" I say to him, he nods at me wordlessly.

As I reach the door I turn and give him a big smile and blow him a kiss, "I'll call you when I get to the Heathman" I say.

Christian nods again and as I go out of the door I hear him call me.

"Ana wait," he shouts.

I go back inside, "Yes?" I say.

"I love you baby, so fucking much, thank you for doing this for me, please stay safe and call me as soon as you get to the Heathman," he says.

I smile, "I love you too Christian, and just remember after tonight it will all be over," I say and without another word I leave the room. I look up at Luke and he gives me a reassuring nod.

"Ready?" he asks.

"As I'll ever be" I reply and with a deep breath I leave the hospital with Luke at my side.

I can't help but look at people I pass as I leave the hospital, wondering if they are real visitors or part of Gideon's security team.

As we leave the hospital I am surprised to note that there are no press waiting for us which I am pleased about. Luke escorts me to the waiting SUV. As he does so I see movement in the bushes to my left, and then I see Garrett making his way slowly towards us, I turn to Luke.

"To our left, in the bushes do you see him?" I say nervously.

"I do Mrs Grey don't worry, if you've seen him and I've seen him, then everyone else has as well," he says reassuringly.

"I'm glad there's no media here tonight, they are the last thing we need in the mix" I say.

"Mr Cross set up a diversion for them in Portland, something far more newsworthy than you leaving the hospital and saying nothing to them!" Luke says with a grin.

As we reach the SUV Garrett pounces. He tries to take out Luke but he is ready for him and sends Garratt crashing into the side of the SUV, but then I hear a noise and Luke sinks to the ground. Garrett turns to me and grabs me.

"What did you do to him?" I ask.

"Knocked him out, he'll be fine" he says.

"Now Mrs Grey, are you going to come quietly or do I have knock you out as well?" he says he is so close to my ear I want to cringe.

I see movement all around and I know the security teams are closing in. I feel something being pressed into my side and I realise he must have a gun or something. I pull my mind back from my wandering thoughts. I feel Garrett is inching us towards the SUV I quickly realise that I need to keep him out of the car so I try distraction.

"Why, what do you want with me?" I ask.

I am fighting to keep calm, all I can smell is stale cigarettes and sweat and I want to throw up. I control my breathing and try to keep a clear head, as he moves us again I manage to manoeuvre my arms so one is free of his grasp. I am actually quite surprised by how weak he actually is and how easy it was for me to free my arm. My mind starts formulating a plan to free myself completely, I think of Christian's words about not being a hero but I need to do this, and he is struggling to keep a firm hold on me. He's a big man when it comes to torturing little kids but he can't even keep a firm hold on me without struggling. I don't struggle but with every movement he makes, I twist a little, releasing myself a little more.

"You are my ticket to a new life, I figure that little shit will pay a lot of good money to get you back, so you are coming with me until he pays up, while you are with me I'll enjoy sampling you. I took his mother so I will enjoy taking his wife as well" he says with a grin.

I feel him pushing up against me he is aroused and it makes angry, I won't be a victim again. All the memories of Morton crash through my mind and my anger bubbles to the surface. I work out what I am going to do, I have one free arm I watch his reaction and I notice he has become distracted by something. I look and he is watching the bushes and I figure he has spotted some of the security closing in, his grip on me loosens some more and I grab my chance.

I am filled with anger and I picture him torturing Christian as a toddler and it gives me the rush of adrenalin I need. It fuels my strength and with lightning speed I grab the hand with the gun in which is pushed into my side and I bring my foot back and stamp on his foot with my stiletto. He yelps in pain and because he isn't expecting it. I jab his hand into his own thigh and squeeze his hand so tightly digging my nails in that he pulls the trigger. There is a loud bang and then a roar of pain. His grip leaves me completely and I shake myself free of him and yank the gun from his hand.

"You fucking piece of shit" I scream as I wave the gun at him.

I am pointing the gun straight at him and he is petrified now all his bravado has gone and he is pleading with me not to shoot him. He has his hand clasped over his leg where he is bleeding profusely.

I take a moment to really look at him and I wish Christian could see him like this so pathetic, pleading with me, "You are nothing but a nasty coward, you are no man at all, as soon as someone stands up to you, you fall apart. You terrorised my husband when he was a small child because he couldn't fight back – did it make you feel like a big man, torturing a defenceless child? You are nothing but a weak vile bully, I should just pull this trigger right now you worthless piece of shit".

I glance down and see that Luke is coming around and reaching for his weapon, the security teams are rushing towards us. It feels like it has taken forever for them to appear but in reality everything has happened in a matter of seconds.

I take a step back and the security team fall on Garrett and drag him to his feet, he is glaring at me as he is practically carried away, I turn my attention to Luke and help him to his feet.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"Fine" he replies but he looks a little pale.

I check him where he was hit and I shake my head and insist he goes to get checked out, Raul approaches us, I give him the gun and he hands it back to someone, who places it in a plastic bag.

"Everything ok?" he asks looking worried, I nod at him.

"I'm fine, but take Luke to get checked out, he got hit with the butt of that gun and he blacked out for a moment" I say.

Raul nods and leads Luke away, I don't notice but turn to see Ryan standing by my side, I smile at him and I realise I don't want to go back to the hotel, I want to be with my husband.

"Are you ready to go Mrs Grey?" Ryan asks, he looks surprised when I shake my head.

"No I want to see Christian" I say.

He nods and leads me back into the hospital.

"When Luke got whacked and he grabbed you, Raul nearly had a coronary," Ryan says quietly.

"I bet he did" I reply. "I bet he nearly had another one when I struggled with Garrett and the gun went off" I add with a grin.

"You're not kidding, every fucking... I mean every single one of us nearly had a coronary when that gun went off," he says soberly.

We reach Christians room and I open the door quietly, I pause as I hear voices.

"I'm sure everything is fine sir, she will call you as soon as she reaches the Heathman, and my guess is she is on route now".

I smile as I recognise Jason's voice trying to calm Christian. I take a deep breath and walk in through the door, Christian is sitting in bed with his head in his hands and Jason is sitting in a wheelchair beside him. They both look around and see me and their expressions are one of surprise, then shock, relief and finally confusion.

"Ana? Are you ok, what happened, why are you here?" Christian immediately goes on alert as I walk towards him.

"I wanted to tell you in person, that Garrett has been caught and taken away and that I am absolutely fine" I say.

I walk towards the bed and kick my shoes off, and climb on to the bed beside him and wrap my arms around him.

Christian pulls me towards him so he can see me and I see him run his hands all over me and look me over as though he is checking me for injury. Taylor pulls out his phone and sends a text.

"I guess that is my cue to get out of here" he says with a grin.

A moment later Gail appears and wishes us both goodnight and wheels Taylor away. As soon as he is gone, Christian lets out a huge sigh of relief and holds me to him.

"What happened, did everything go according to plan, he didn't touch you did he?" he asks.

"It's all over, that's all you need to know," I say.

Christian pulls me away from him and looks hard at me, "Ana what happened?" he asks curtly.

I sigh, "Everything was going to plan until Garrett pulled out a gun and whacked Luke with the butt of it and knocked him out, he grabbed me and threatened to knock me out but I kept my cool and managed to move a little so my arm was free and when he was distracted, I grabbed his hand with the gun and jabbed it into his leg and squeezed so hard and dug my nails in that he pulled the trigger and shot himself in the leg. He let me go, I grabbed the gun and held him at gunpoint. You should've seen him Christian he was pathetic, I threatened to shoot him and he was pleading with me not to hurt him. He was pounced on by the team, Raul came and took Luke to be checked over and Ryan escorted me back here to you" I say, I watch as I see the anger building as I am explaining everything and when I finish I wait for the explosion that I know is coming.

He doesn't disappoint and when it comes it is quite impressive. "WHAT THE FUCK?! I TOLD YOU - NO FUCKING HEROICS ANA!" he shouts.

There is a knock at the door and I am saved from responding when Raul appears, "Mrs Grey I have come to retrieve the device" he says warily.

I'm fully aware that he hasn't made eye contact with Christian and I am certain he heard Christian's outburst a moment ago. I just nod and point to my jacket which I put on a nearby chair. He pulls the device from behind the collar and pushes it into his pocket.

"Thank you" he says, he finally looks sheepishly at Christian who is glaring back at him.

"Garrett is in custody sir" he says quietly.

"Good, but things didn't quite go according to plan did they?" Christian snaps.

I watch Raul and I am quite impressed how he is now standing his ground and how confidently he responds. "No sir, it didn't, but Mrs Grey kept a cool clear head and brought everything back into our control, you should be very proud of her Mr Grey, she is an exceptional woman," he says.

I smile; I am really impressed now as this has completely deflated Christian and taken all the anger out of him. "I know she is, why do you think I married her," Christian says but still in a clipped tone. I know the anger is still there under the surface and he is trying to control it.

"I'll say goodnight to you both" Raul says I can tell he is clearly anxious to get out of the room.

"Thank you Raul" I say as he moves away.

"No thank you Mrs Grey" Raul replies and with a polite nod leaves us.

Christian looks at me the his mood has switched again, the anger is gone and fear and anguish are evident in his eyes and when he speaks it is also clear in his tone of voice, "Ana, what if he had shot you and killed you" he says.

He is still thinking about this scenario and all the what if's, I shake my head and put my finger on his lips.

"But he didn't, he was far too weak, I was surprised how easily I could overpower him" I say.

"But Ana" Christian begins.

"Shhh, I'm here, nothing happened, Garrett has been captured and now I am here with you" I say.

I lean towards him and kiss him to stop him from saying anything more, I hear him groan and he pulls me to him and deepens the kiss.

I turn and straddle Christians lap and I see his eyebrows raise, leaning towards him I rest my hands on his chest and he takes a deep breath and pulls me even closer.

"I want you" I whisper in his ear. I know that I am shamelessly distracting him with sex but it seems to work.

"Take me then" he whispers back.

I don't need telling twice and within moments I have him exposed to me and I am smothering his entire body with kisses. Pulling away I peel off my clothes and then hovering over him I gently lower myself onto his waiting erection.

I gasp as he enters me and I hold on to his shoulders steadying myself as I begin to move. Christian wraps his arms around me and starts kissing and caressing my exposed breast, I increase the pace and moan as I feel him stroking that spot inside me which drives me wild. We continue until I feel Christian start to stiffen and then he grabs my hips as he holds me down on him and I feel him spurting and emptying himself deep inside me. He lets out a loud groan and I start moving again milking him he moans again and it sends me over the edge and I feel myself tighten around him.

"Oh baby" Christian gasps as he holds me close, "Thank you" he mutters.

He buries his head into my shoulder and then I realise that I feel his tears on my shoulder.

"Christian what is it?" I ask.

"You... you are an amazing woman, you did something my own mother didn't do, you protected me from him, he could have hurt you or even killed you, but you put me first and protected me... I ... I ... I don't know what to say to you. I am having all sorts of feelings, it's overwhelming, and I have never felt so loved and cherished in my life. I just can't get my head around the fact that you did that for me, but I am also still very pissed that you put yourself in danger" I look at him and see the confusion on his face and I stroke his cheek.

Ok so the distraction of sex didn't work as well as I thought. I need to stop him over-thinking this.

"Why do you think I did it Christian?" I ask gently.

He doesn't answer me immediately so I answer it for him, "Because I love you, because you are everything to me," I say as I cup his face forcing him to look straight at me, "and besides, I knew I could take him down," I add with a grin.

"Oh Ana" he moans and pulls me close. I glance down at his erection between us and giggle.

"Up for round two?" I ask with a wicked grin and I am gifted with his full HD smile that's enough of an answer for me and soon we are lost in each other again.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

I wake up to a nurse entering the room and I pull the sheet around me, both Christian and I are totally naked and I spent the night sleeping with him in his hospital bed. Christian is still fast asleep wrapped around me. The nurse looks a little surprised to see me and she stares at me with raised eyebrows.

"Erm... I wasn't expecting to find you here Mrs Grey" she says.

"No, I decided to stay the night with my husband" I explain, whilst wishing the floor would open up and swallow me.

I feel Christian rousing and he opens his eyes looking at me and then at the nurse who is looking equally embarrassed as I am.

"Good morning" he mumbles, he rubs his eyes and yawns.

"I'll come back in a short while to do your obs Mr Grey" the nurse replies and hurriedly leaves.

"Obs?" I ask looking at Christian questioningly.

"Observations" Christian explains, "temperature, blood pressure and other pointless things" he says with a grin.

"Oh" I reply.

I quickly get up and get dressed and I am just brushing my hair when there is a knock at the door and Gideon pokes his head in.

"Here you are!" he exclaims.

"I was worried when I turned up at your hotel room this morning to find it empty and the staff said you didn't return last night, I had all sorts of scenarios running through my head, until I called Raul and got the low down, we got him then?!" he says grinning at Christian.

"Thanks to my wife's quick thinking and calm and collected actions," Christian replies.

Gideon nods and looks serious, "Yes, Raul told me, that there was a bit of a moment there," he says.

"I'm still pissed with her, he had a fucking gun" Christian says frowning at me.

"Not as pissed as Raul was, the whole team freaked when that gun went off" Gideon says.

"They said they had never been so happy or relieved than when they heard you screaming at Garrett," he adds, grinning at me.

"He was so weak" I say shaking my head.

We are interrupted by a knock at the door and Gail pokes her head around it.

"Good morning Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, oh good morning Mr Cross" she says looking at us all, she steps into the room, "I am here just to let you know Jason is being discharged today, but he has been advised to take it easy for the next couple of weeks or so" she says looking directly at Christian.

He takes the message she is trying to give him, and smiles, "Gail don't worry, I'll make sure neither of you are working for the next fortnight, you just pick wherever you want to go and let me know and the jet will take you, and I mean it Gail anywhere in the world you want to go for a good long vacation and it's on me. It's the very least I can do," he says.

Gail looks stunned, "I couldn't possibly..." she starts.

"Yes you can, and yes you will Gail," Christian says firmly.

With that she smiles and thanks us profusely before leaving us alone. Gideon tells us he too has to leave, as he and Eva are flying back to New York now Garrett has been caught but he promises they will look in before they leave.

I'm sorry to hear that they are going but it is understandable and I am grateful for everything he has done for us. He told me that Raul and Jez are staying on until Welch's replacement can be found. He also tells us that Jez is looking to relocate to the West Coast to be nearer his mother who lives in Scappoose, Oregon. As soon as we are told this I know that Christian will offer him a position with GEH. I can't help but wonder about Welch. I fired him out of anger but he was the one who tipped us off about Garrett's plans, and I decide I need to talk to Christian about what will happen to him. He did betray Christian badly which resulted in the Charlie Tango crash and that can't be overlooked. I look at Christian and make a mental note to discuss this with him later.

I have made some decisions the past few days as well regarding my future, I haven't had time to discuss it with Christian but as I have both Gideon and Christian in front of me I decide to voice them now.

"Erm, Gideon I need to discuss my future with you at Cross Publishing" I say.

Gideon looks at me questioningly and I see Christian still and stare intently at me. I nod and grasp Christian's hand.

"Ana, don't worry about your job, Damien is filling in and doing a good job, you come back when you are ready" Gideon says kindly.

I shake my head. "No Gideon, it's not fair, nobody else would get the considerations I have received from you and I don't want to be treated any differently, you have done so much for me in the relatively short time you have known me so I have decided reluctantly to hand in my notice" I say.

Christian whips his head around and stares at me, he doesn't say a word, but I know what he is thinking.

Gideon shakes his head, "No Ana please reconsider, you are an excellent editor I have had nothing but praise and positive feedback about your work" he says.

I shake my head, "No Gideon, please give my position to Damien he will work hard and do you proud" I say.

There is a short silence as Gideon thinks about what I have said.

"Ok, I reluctantly accept your resignation but I'm not happy about it" Gideon says.

"Thank you" I reply and smile at him. I stand and hug him tightly. "You are such a good man Gideon, you deserve to have the best employees available, and I just can't give you that dedication at the moment" I say.

"I can understand that" he says.

I pull away from him and touch his face, "Thank you Gideon" I say sincerely.

Gideon glances at his watch, "Look guys I have to go, I have a few things I need to do before my flight".

"Have a safe flight my friend and we will see you both at Christmas" Christian says.

Gideon nods "You will, and we are looking forward to it, even though Eva and I have decided to postpone the wedding until after the baby is born" he says.

I feel a pang of regret when Gideon mentions the baby, and as Christian grips my hand I shake it off mentally scolding myself for my selfish thoughts. This is a joyous time for our best friends and I won't spoil it with my dark thoughts about our lost baby.

Gideon shakes Christian's hand and pulls me into another crushing hug and says goodbye to us, before leaving us alone.

As he leaves Gail and Taylor enter, Jason has a huge grin on his face clearly ecstatic about being discharged and Gail is beaming brightly too.

"We just came to say we are going home," Gail says.

"We are being abandoned by everyone," Christian says with a grin.

Jason looks questioningly at Christian. "Gideon and Eva are flying back to New York today" I explain.

"Oh, I see" Jason says.

He looks at Christian, "Erm...your wonderful offer to fly us wherever we want to go for a two week vacation, well I am really touched and grateful for your offer sir, and Gail and I have decided where we would like to go".

He reaches up and grasps Gail's hand which is resting on his shoulder. "If it's ok with you sir, we'd like to visit the Great Lakes and Niagara Falls" Jason asks looking hopefully at Christian.

Christian looks at him in surprise, "Consider it done" he says with a wave of his hand, "Are you sure that is where you really want to go? I am offering you the world, anywhere in the world" he says.

Gail nods, "I have always wanted to see Niagara Falls and Jason and I were talking and he said he has wanted to visit the Great Lakes so it was obvious where we would choose, and while we are there… we have decided to get married," she says.

I squeal in delight and hug Gail tightly, "Congratulations! Oh my God Jason finally proposed!" I say.

Gail smiles and nods and Jason looks totally embarrassed, as I fling my arms around him too.

"I think what happened put everything into perspective for us" she says.

I suddenly notice the ring on her finger and pull her hand towards me, "Oh Gail it's beautiful" I say as I examine the tasteful diamond ring.

I return my attention to Jason who is being congratulated warmly by Christian and I hug him once more.

"So you finally decided to make an honest woman of her?!" Christian says as he shakes Jason's hand.

"Yes sir I did – although I have asked before but she has turned me down, but I think after what happened, it made us both realise that we did actually really want to do this, and what better place to get married than the place we have both always wanted to see," he says.

"Well if that is what you want then it's yours" Christian says firmly.

"Let me know the dates and I will ensure the jet is available for you and I will arrange everything for you" he adds.

"Yes sir" Jason says, "And thank you so much" he adds.

"It's the least I can do" Christian says quietly.

He looks at Jason directly in the eye, "Congratulations to you both, I hope you will be as happy in your marriage as I am in mine".

Jason nods, "Thank you sir, and I hope so too, but I don't think there is another man on earth, who is as happy in his marriage as you are," he says politely.

Gail thanks us both profusely and then they both take their leave, but only after I give them a couple more hugs each. As they are leaving, the young nurse who came in earlier returns to do Christian's observations.

After she leaves and we have eaten, Christian looks at me and I know he is going to want to discuss my decision to leave Cross Publishing.

"Ana are you planning on getting another job?" he asks carefully.

I nod, "Yes but not yet, you need me at the moment, and I plan to be beside you every step of the way while you recover" I say smiling at him.

I see the emotion flood Christians face at my words, he still finds it hard to grasp that he is my world and I would do anything for him.

He inhales sharply and then swallows, "Do you have any idea where you will work and what you will do once I am back on my feet?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No but I will find something," I say.

"You could always come and work for me at Grey Publishing?" he asks carefully.

I smile at him, "I'll think about it" I say and his answering smile is spectacular.

I decide that I am going to stay at the hospital with Christian from now on, he tried to persuade me to go back to the Heathman, he argued that he doesn't feel comfortable with me not getting my rest here, saying he would prefer me to be at the Heathman so I can get a proper night's sleep. I ignore him of course, and I leave with Ryan to get my belongings and close my account at the Heathman.

"You do know you don't have to do that personally, Ryan or Sawyer could do it for you" Christian says with amusement.

"I know, but you know I like to do things for myself, I am a very independent person" I retort.

"And don't I know it!" Christian mutters.

When I return from the Heathman, another bed has been brought into the room and placed next to Christian's bed and Christian is talking to Jez who is sitting beside him. They both turn as I enter the room.

"Hi Jez" I say.

"Mrs Grey" he answers with a nod and gets to his feet and offers me his hand.

"Ana, Jez has agreed to accept the position of Chief GEH Security Advisor" Christian says smiling widely.

"That's great!" I say, and I turn to Jez "Welcome aboard" I say.

"Thank you very much Mrs Grey, this is a huge opportunity for me, and I will be able to get to my mother quickly if needs be" he says.

I look at him carefully, "is your mother ill?" I ask warily, not wanting to pry.

He hesitates, then nods sadly, "she has bowel cancer, she is a trooper and doesn't complain, but being based in New York its been hard for me to support her in the way I should have, and my sister has been left with the lions share of the care, but she has her own family, so it's been hard," he says.

I see Christian thinking and he reaches for his phone and dials a number, "Mom, hi, give me the name of the best bowel cancer consultant in the North west" he says.

I see him reach for a pen and scribble down a name and number, "Thanks mom, I'm fine, improving every day... yes... that would be great, ok bye mom" he hangs up and then dials the number on the paper and waits.

"Hello, this is Christian Grey, I need an appointment ASAP with Dr Harding... I am prepared to pay whatever it costs... yes, the name of course" he glances at Jez who is sitting with his mouth hanging open.

"Erm... Marjory, Marjory Hamilton" he says.

Christian relays this to the person the phone and quickly jots down details of an appointment. He thanks the person and hangs up, then he thrusts the piece of paper at Jez.

"Here is an appointment with Dr Harding, its here and its tomorrow at 2pm, don't worry about the cost of the consultation, or whatever the cost of the treatment will be, get your mother here tomorrow for the appointment" he says.

"I... I don't know what to say" Jez says with a totally bewildered look on his face.

I laugh, "Get used to it Jez, this is how Christian operates," I say.

"Thank you sir" he says staring at the piece of paper in his hand.

"Don't mention it," Christian says.

**oooOOOooo**

**(GIDEON)**

_One week later…_

We have been back in New York just over a week now and I am taking a rare moment to sit and do nothing, the TV is on but I'm not watching it. It is late evening and I am sitting staring into space thinking of everything that has happened recently, I can't begin to process it all and I know if I try, my head will explode.

My overwhelming emotion at the moment is relief, for so many things, the main one being that fucking bastard Garrett is caught and that my best friend in the whole world is recovering and looks as though he will make a full recovery.

I am in constant communication with Seattle as Raul is still there on loan to the Greys while Jason Taylor gets back on his feet, but he should be coming back to New York soon as I've also lost Jez Hamilton to Christian, but I was always going to lose him anyway as he needed to get back to the west coast for his family. I'm just glad my best friend has given him Welch's job as it is no more than he deserved after his outstanding work leading the team who located the crash site, recovered the helicopter and then co-ordinated the rescue of Christian and Jason, and then immediately switching between close protection and general security and basically being where he was needed.

I think about Christian and Ana and smile. 'Best friend' who would have thought I would ever say that about anyone, I have always been such a solitary man, I have friends but there aren't that many of them, but who would've thought that the person aside from Eva who I would become closest to would be Christian Grey, especially considering when we first met we were essentially competing over the same woman.

I had always admired him from afar, him being a self made multi billionaire, building his company from the ground up at a ridiculously young age, just like me, but the pain and anguish that man has endured throughout his life – who would have thought we had that in common.

It took him a long time to figure out he was actually abused by Sybil... Elena whatever her fucking name was but he got there in the end. It is astounding the links between us but our strong friendship is built on more than our mutual shitty pasts, he seems to understand me on a deeper level, he gets me more than even my own family ever have, and I get him. I think about Ana and an unconscious smile plays on my lips. She slipped through my fingers, but I would never have held her, it was obvious she loved him even when she was running from him. I also feel ashamed how I shamelessly tried to manipulate her when she was so obviously vulnerable after Christian found out about the baby, it was not one of my proudest moments. Thinking of Ana also makes me sad as it also reminds me that I have lost a damn good editor, she was very good at what she did. It also reminds me that I still have to fix this damn Marcus and Brett Kline fiasco, and now Ana won't be there either to help me.

Six Ninths are in New York on their tour shortly, so I may just get them both in the same room and hash it out once and for all, all I know is that I will fight until my last fucking breath but its not going to come out about Eva being the girl in that story.

These thoughts send me looking in the direction of Eva, I glance down at her, she is asleep on the sofa her head on my lap, my hand unconsciously sifts through her beautiful blonde hair, she is so tired a lot of the time now, and she has started feeling nauseous with the pregnancy.

A baby! I was astounded when she told me but thankfully I held it together, more or less. She was terrified I would be furious and that it would end us, but actually I am quite excited. At least I didn't react the way Christian did when Ana told him. He confided in me that he regrets that reaction every day, especially since she lost the baby. I shake my head, no matter how much I tell him otherwise he still holds himself ultimately responsible for that loss, as the way he sees it he drove Ana away with his behaviour and put her on Sybil's radar and he wholeheartedly believes that it was the stress of the kidnap and what Sybil did to Ana that caused her to miscarry a couple of months down the line. He told me that they are planning to scatter the baby's ashes on the beach at their new house on the sound, I was surprised that they had them, but I think that's a beautiful idea.

I return to thoughts of Eva and my own child and I start indulging in fantasies of Eva and myself walking on a beach with our child, playing in the sand and paddling in the sea.

My mind goes back to when she told me...

_"Eva where are you?" I shout urgently, I have just burst through the doors of our Seattle apartment and I want to get inside my fiancée, now! _

_I have been entertaining these thoughts since she text me, telling me she had flown to Seattle, and more importantly, was waiting for me here in our apartment. _

_I had no idea she was planning this. She had flown out to be with me while I helped Christian and Ana with everything that has been going on since the crash, and she wanted to surprise me._

_She appears in the doorway, and as soon as she sees me she runs into my arms and clings to me, my arms go around her and I press her flush against me, I hold her a little too tightly as I have missed her so much._

"_God I've missed you Angel" I whisper as I pepper her with kisses. _

_Some would say we need each other to an unhealthy degree, and it is true, in the first month or so of our relationship we drained each other with our issues and constant neediness and we came close to not making it, but now, now she has agreed to become my wife and we are solid._

_I drink her in and savour this moment of reunion but then I feel it, she is in my arms clinging to me as much as I am clinging to her, but something is amiss as she is totally rigid, and I know that something is bothering her._

_I gently pull her from me and look at her, I immediately see she has been crying and her face is pale and a sliver of fear runs through me, something is very wrong._

_"Angel what's wrong?" I ask._

_She swallows hard and leads me to the sofa, "I think you'd better sit down," she says._

_My mind is now working overtime and thinking of all sorts of scenarios as to what on earth has happened and why she is so obviously distressed._

"_Eva talk to me" I demand, I inwardly cringe at the harshness of my tone but she is scaring me now._

"_I have something I need to tell you it's the real reason why I have flown out to see you and I'm worried about how you are going to take it" she says as she sits down, I sit beside her and reach for her hand, blind panic now careering through me._

_I am breathing heavily and I feel my heart pumping faster, 'she's leaving me' is the only thing I can come up with at this moment._

_"Tell me" I say, she grips my hand tightly and takes a deep breath._

_"I'm pregnant" she whispers. _

_Oh thank god, she's not leaving me, wait… what?! Pregnant?! Holy shit I didn't expect that, I stare at her in shock, I am totally lost for words and sit staring at her stupidly, she is watching me carefully and almost immediately I see the hurt expression in her eyes._

_I watch her as she takes a deep breath and pats my hand, "Don't worry Gideon, I'll take care of it" she says and goes to stand and walk away._

_Wait, what the fuck is she saying? There is no god damn fucking way she is aborting my baby, I reach for her and grip her hand and pull her back towards me. _

_"Eva, what do you mean take care of it?" I snap._

_She stares at me questioningly, "What do you think I mean? I will take care of the baby alone, you don't have to be involved if you don't want to be, but I swear Gideon I didn't do it on purpose, in fact I can't understand how it happened," she says._

_The relief is palpable, "Stop now!" I demand, holding up my hand._

_Eva opens her mouth and I interrupt her "Eva stop talking, you don't have to do anything alone, of course I want to be involved," I say and I pull her into my arms, as I do so I finally feel her relax. _

_"I'm going to be a daddy," I say proudly. _

_Holy shit I am going to be a daddy, I am going to be someone's father, my hand moves instinctively and protectively towards Eva's stomach and I caress it gently._

_Eva's reaction to that is immediate, she bursts into tears, I stare at her in shock and then realise that this must be the pregnancy hormones thing. I hold her tightly and she sobs into my shirt…_

I am pulled from my memory as Eva rouses, she rubs her eyes and stretches.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in bed Angel?" I ask her gently.

She shakes her head, "No, I just needed a power nap" she says with a grin.

**oooOOOooo**

I am in the office, and I am on fire today I have powered through everything that has needed to be done and it feels good, I take a moment to stand and stretch, and I psych myself up for the next appointment of the day.

Marcus Kline is due in shortly and I have been informed that Brett Kline is on his way here. Ana bless her heart wants to be involved so she can explain to Marcus that she has resigned from Cross publishing, so she is going to be with us on video link from the Portland hospital where she is still with Christian. I have called in Damien as well, as he has inherited all Ana's authors.

He has become almost devoted to us after we agreed to help him when Morton and Sybil were jailed, he has made massive progress with John Flynn and he has become one of my most loyal and hard working employees determined to make amends for his part in the kidnap. He was shocked and seemed upset when I told him Ana had resigned, I explained he would be taking over her stable of authors and he agreed willingly.

There is a knock at the door and Scott appears, "Brett Kline is here" he says and I nod, moments later the tattooed musician enters my office and shakes my hand.

"Mr Cross can I ask what all this is about?" he says calmly.

"All in good time, we are just waiting on the other participants of this meeting" I say.

Damien is the next to arrive and then Ana pops up on video link from the West coast, Damien greets her warmly when he sees her on the screen and then finally Marcus arrives. Brett looks at him in confusion as he stands and embraces him.

"Bro what are you doing here?" he asks.

Marcus sits down and starts wringing his hands.

"I have written a book Brett, it's called Golden Girl about a musician and a girl he meets who captures his heart and then she disappears, it's been a hit".

He stops and realisation dawns on Brett's face.

"It's about me and Eva" he says quietly.

Marcus nods, "I was played bro, when Christopher Vidal flew out and came to see you that night at the apartment about the tour, he saw the manuscript and read through it, like an idiot I told him it was about you and Eva, and also that he probably knew her as she was dating his brother now, he didn't say anything about it, but after I said that he encouraged me to get it published, he offered me money to 'help me' do it and like an idiot I took it, he said I was talented and it was a good story, and said his brother owned a publishing house. But after talking with Mr Cross, I believe he just wants it to get out that it's about you and Eva, I'm so sorry bro" he says.

I feel for Marcus, he was manipulated by my brother, he is a talented writer and Ana was right to sign him but Christopher's motives were only to hurt me and also possibly to gain publicity and hype for the band, but I won't have Eva hurt.

I see a smile cross Brett's face, "No harm done bro, it will be good publicity for the new album," he says.

I can't believe what he is saying and I feel my anger rising at his selfish comment.

"No it won't, Eva doesn't want it coming out who the protagonists are based on, and if you have a shred of decency you will honour her wishes, that is why you are here, we need to work this out so that we can come up with a solution that benefits everyone" I say sharply.

Marcus nods, "He's right Brett, she was so upset when she found out," he says.

"You've seen her?" Brett asks, I immediately pay attention to the interest he is showing in my fiancée.

Marcus nods, "She is engaged to Mr Cross now, and when it all came out about who the story was about, she joined in the first meeting," he says.

The words hit Brett hard and he glares at me, and I nod in confirmation.

"How is she?" he asks carefully.

"She's wonderful," I say warmly thinking of my fiancée, and as I do so I feel myself harden.

Brett stands and paces around the room, I can't help but notice how restless he has become when he found out about Eva and I.

"My brother uses people, and he does things which hurt people in his vain attempts to destroy me," I say as an attempt to offer some sort of explanation.

I get the distinct impression Kline isn't listening to what I am saying which is confirmed by what he says next.

"Why isn't she here, we could ask her for her permission to release the information, you can't buy that sort of publicity not only for my brothers book sales but also for our new album, it's a win, win" he argues.

"I said NO, this is Eva's past and she doesn't want this coming out" I say firmly.

Brett looks at me carefully, "I don't believe you, and I won't believe it until I hear it from her" he says and folds his arms.

"Brett honestly its true she doesn't want this" Marcus says.

He appears to be shocked at his brother's attitude, and I am beginning to wonder if he just wants to see Eva again. If he wants her he is going about it the wrong way, she won't stand for this sort of behaviour. I sigh, running through my options to try and resolve this situation. Ana who has been quiet up to this point interrupts and speaks directly to Brett.

"Excuse me if I may say something," she says hesitantly, all eyes look towards the monitor where she is looking at us.

"Go ahead Ana" I say.

"Eva does not want it made public knowledge that this was her, and if you think anything of her at all you will honour those wishes, I have never seen anyone so upset as she was" she says.

Brett snorts and shakes his head, "With all due respect Mrs Grey, this is really none of your business" he says rudely.

Oh bad move Kline, I see Ana's eyes flash with anger and I know immediately she is going to rip him a new one.

"Erm, with all due respect Mr Kline, you need to stop being so damned arrogant and selfish, stop thinking from between your legs and do the decent thing. If you had any real feelings for Eva at all you would honour her wishes, also if you have any respect for your brother at all you would see he feels bad about this, and doesn't want anyone to get hurt by it, so stop using this as some kind of PR exercise for your band and use your musical talent to promote yourself, not your past relationships".

Everyone is staring at Ana in silence, Brett is taken aback with the outburst and I see Damien stifle a smirk, but Ana isn't done yet.

"Damien, I trust you to handle this with tact, I know you will do the right thing despite outside influences," she glares at Brett again.

"Gideon, I need to go now, but I would like to state on record that I am very sorry for my part in this, if I hadn't taken on Marcus and published the book none of this would have happened, but I believe we should respect Eva's wishes not to be outed as the girl from the story".

Marcus looks at Ana and then at me.

"Mr Cross, when the first run is complete I want the story pulled out of print, Eva doesn't deserve this, and if my brother is not prepared to honour that, then I will have to do whatever I can to stop it happening, and if that means taking my book out of print, then so be it," he says.

Brett stares at Marcus, but Damien speaks, "Marcus, that would only draw more attention to the book and make it more desirable, my opinion is that we should let it run its course, without the usual PR dedicated to publications, and get some legal paperwork in place to prevent the identities of the characters real life alter ego's being revealed, that way Marcus gets his book published and it is a damn good story, and he does deserve it, but Eva's privacy is also protected, what do you think?"

I think carefully and I believe that this could work. I glance at Marcus who is nodding furiously with a look of clear relief on his face, Brett on the other hand looks furious. I decide to move quickly.

"Splendid, I'll get my attorneys have something in place by the end of the day and Marcus can sign it while he is here in New York, is that acceptable to everyone?"

I glance around and see the nods, with the exception of Brett Kline, I glare at him.

"Brett, you need to get on board with this, and you also need to remember who holds controlling interest of your record label".

I don't like using this against him, but when it comes to Eva there is nothing I wouldn't do.

"I don't have a lot of choice do I!" he snaps.

"Good it's decided then" I say firmly and rise from my seat.

Marcus steps forward and shakes my hand warmly and Damien excuses himself to get back to work, he is working from the New York office today and flying back to Seattle tomorrow. Marcus whispers something in Brett's ear and he nods at him, Marcus slaps him on the back and they embrace before Marcus excuses himself and leaves, leaving just myself and Brett in the room. He stares at me thoughtfully.

"I do love her you know, I always have" he says to me, I swallow hard as I feel his words burn my insides.

"She is with me now," I say tightly.

"Yeah, maybe so but perhaps I could remind her of what we once had" he says with a sneer and with that he turns and leaves.

I sit down heavily in my seat, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I try to tell myself Eva loves me and is having my baby, but she told me all about Brett and what their fuck buddy relationship was like. It was intense and unhealthy, but she also admitted there was a great deal of chemistry between them, I feel panicked enough that I need reassurance of her commitment to me, I need to speak to her, so I call her.

"Mark Garrity's office Eva Trammell speaking" she says, and I immediately feel myself calm at her voice.

"Angel" I say.

"Hi" she replies, "What can I do for you?" she adds.

"We have sorted out the issue with the book, your privacy is secure, Marcus agreed to having a gagging order placed on the book, so that the people who are at the heart of the story cannot be named, Brett wasn't happy about it, when he discovered the facts, he wanted to make it public for PR for the band and the album" I say.

I don't feel guilty for essentially tattling on Kline, I know full well that this is low, but I need her to know what Brett was doing, also if he is going to play dirty so can I.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

"He wanted to do what?" Eva gasps after a moment.

I explain what happened at the meeting, and I assure her that I am doing every god damn thing I can to stop the link being made to Marcus's book, Brett's song and her.

"I need to see him" she says firmly, "You can arrange that for me can't you?" she asks.

"I can" I say uncertainly, panic now surging through me that my tactics have backfired.

"Please Gideon, I need to tell him face to face, try to appeal to his better nature and if that doesn't work, rip him a new one," she says.

"Ok, I'll see what I can do" I say carefully.

My mind starts to work overtime, what if she gets feelings for him when she sees him again, I can't risk that, I need to plan this carefully.

The day thankfully comes to an end and I have never been so desperate to be with Eva. Today's events have unsettled me, I need to talk to Eva and establish what exactly her feelings are towards Kline, all my insecurities are shouting at me at the moment, telling me that he will take her from me, and I just can't let that happen.

Just after 5pm, my office door opens and there she is, she smiles at me and in a moment I am on my feet and taking her in my arms.

"Come here Angel" I demand and pull her towards me.

I rest my hand protectively on her stomach. "How are you feeling today, you've not been too sick have you?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No I'm good, it seems to pass by about 9.30/10am and after that I am absolutely fine".

She stares at me as I hold her tightly, clinging to her as if my life depended on her, which I realise it does.

"Gideon is something bothering you?" she asks carefully.

I sigh, "Angel, I am worried" I admit.

She leads me over to the sofa, and she pulls me down next to her, she is looking at me carefully, her face full of concern.

"What are you worried about, the baby is fine if that is what you worrying about, sickness is normal".

"No it's not the baby" I say quickly.

"What then?" she replies.

"Kline, I worry about his feelings towards you, and I am concerned that he will persuade you that he is better for you than I am, which wouldn't be hard to do, I mean you can't even spend the whole night with me with my nightmares and..."

She puts her finger on my lips and interrupts me.

"Just stop! Hold it right there Gideon, I love you and I am carrying your baby. What I had with Brett wasn't anything like what I have with you, I was in a bad place and it was unhealthy and obsessive. I was searching for something, something which I never found until I met you. You have nothing to worry about Gideon, I am yours, irrevocably yours".

"Marry me then, tomorrow?" I say suddenly, the idea just popped into my head and suddenly it seems like the best idea in the world, so I am running with it.

She stares at me in shock, the way she is looking at me I know she thinks I am crazy, and thinking about what I have just said, I can understand how she has come to that conclusion.

"But what about our wedding in Seattle at Christian and Ana's place, on the beach?" she asks.

"We will still do that, I mean let's get married just for us, tomorrow, nobody else involved just you and me. We will take Angus with us to act as witness and we just elope, what do you say?" I ask getting more excited by the second as the idea takes hold and builds rapidly in my mind.

I grip her by the arms staring into her eyes, willing her to agree to my insane idea.

She stares right back at me, looking at me as if I am crazy. "Do you mean fly to Vegas and just do it?" she asks.

I nod, "that's exactly what I mean," I say.

She considers my request and then smiles at me, "Ok" she says.

I feel my heart leap and I pull my phone out and call Angus.

"Angus I want a flight to Vegas ASAP, Eva and I are eloping, and you are coming too, to act as witness" I say.

There is shocked silence for a moment then he replies with his familiar amused Scottish lilt, "Aye lad, I'll sort it" he says.

"Thank you" I reply and pushing my phone into my pocket I pull Eva into my arms and kiss her aggressively, she responds and I pull away with a groan.

"As much as I want to take you right now at this moment, we have to get home and pack if we are flying to Vegas shortly".

She nods at me and takes my offered hand. I can't believe we are doing this, but it feels right, just me and Eva - the only people who matter. My only regret is that Christian is in the hospital as I would have asked him and Ana to fly out and stand as witnesses for us, but it can't be helped, but we can always stop off in Seattle before returning back to New York.

**oooOOOooo**

We are in the sky flying to Vegas, I am as excited as a child on Christmas Eve, I am practically bouncing with joy, I had previously text Christian and told him what we were doing, and he sent back his congratulations and he obviously told Ana, as a few moments after receiving his congratulatory text, my phone rang with an excited Ana on the other end.

"Hi Gideon, so you and Eva are eloping then?" she says, laughing down the line.

"We are, I'm just sorry you and Christian couldn't be there with us to stand up and be our witnesses, but we plan to do it again for all our friends and family, if the offer to use your beach is still open?" I ask.

"Of course it is, you don't need to ask that" Ana replies, "Is Eva there?" she asks.

"She is but she is sleeping at the moment, she gets tired so easily at the moment with the pregnancy" I say.

"Well enjoy yourselves, whereabouts in Vegas are you doing the wedding?" she asks.

"The Excelsior" I say, "It's one of mine, so I can have complete control over all the plans and proceedings" I add.

Ana laughs, "You sound just like Christian, you do realise that you are both a couple of control freaks" she teases.

We talk for a while longer and then she tells me she has to go. She wishes us luck and then hangs up. I glance at Angus, who is sitting with a mug of tea in his hand smiling at me.

"That wee lass has had quite the effect on you hasn't she?" he says quietly.

I nod and smile as I think about Eva. "I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life before," I admit quietly.

"Any fool can see that" he says.

"Just make sure you treat her right" he adds in his best concerned father tone.

I love Angus like a son loves a father, he has always been there for me, when nobody else ever was over the years, and I know he has also developed a deep affection for Eva, his words of warning to me confirm that fact.

"I intend to, I will protect her with my own life, Eva and our child" I say firmly.

"How are the plans coming along?" I ask.

Angus takes another sip of his tea and grins wryly at me, "Davis Monroe nearly wet himself with excitement when I told him what you wanted, and that it was all going to be happening at the Excelsior," he says.

"He assured me it is his honour as hotel manager to get everything ready for you both" he adds.

I nod; even though this has been a spur of the moment decision and done quickly I want it to be perfect for Eva, as she deserves nothing less.

This is the wedding I want, private and just the two people who matter most, the next one I will leave to her to have exactly as she wants. I listen to Angus reel off all the plans which are in place and it never ceases to amaze me what can achieved when you have money and a name which inspires people to do what you want them to do.

**oooOOOooo**

I am lying on the sofa staring at the ceiling and I am doubting myself. I am over-thinking my decision and wondering if I am doing the right thing. I mean look at me, here I am sleeping on a sofa because it's not safe for me to sleep with my fiancée.

I stand and stretch and walk quietly into the bedroom of the suite we are occupying, I lean against the doorframe and just take a moment to gaze at Eva, my heart feels as though it is going to burst with the love I feel for her when I look at her, I feel myself harden and I push my hand into my boxer briefs and adjust myself.

Eva is still fast asleep as I carefully slide into the bed beside her and wrap my arm around her. I smile as she moans and rouses and rolls towards me.

"Good morning Angel" I whisper and kiss her forehead gently as she opens her eyes and looks at me.

"Good morning Ace" she replies and pulls me close.

"Are you ready to marry me today?" I ask.

"I am but first I need to go and throw up" she says quickly, suddenly pushing me away and rushing to the bathroom.

I follow her and hold her hair while she throws up. I stroke her back gently as she heaves. I hate to see her being ill, I know it is natural and normal to suffer from morning sickness but it doesn't help when I see her suffering.

This makes up my mind that I doing the right thing though, I want to give my child a stable home. I will work to overcome my demons, and try to be the best god damn husband and father there is.

Eva finally emerges after a shower and brushing her teeth and she smiles at me, I hand her a mug of steaming coffee, which she gratefully accepts.

"Feeling better now?" I ask.

"Much better thank you" she replies as she takes a sip of the coffee. I watch her grimace slightly and I smile, she really isn't keen on the decaffeinated coffee, I personally can't tell the difference apart from the fact I don't get the obvious caffeine hit, but to me the taste is identical to normal coffee.

My phone rings and it is Angus, he outlines the plans and tells me that someone is going to be coming up to the suite with Eva's dress shortly.

I relay the message and Eva is practically bouncing with anticipation, she picked the dress last night as soon as we arrived and it was quickly sent to be altered to fit her and she picked the flowers she wanted in the bouquet.

"You had better get the hell out of here, its bad luck to see me in my dress before the ceremony" she says firmly.

I laugh, "Ok, I'll get ready in Angus' room if you want to observe that tradition" I say and I gather my things and make the move, as I'm about to leave Eva calls to me.

"Gideon" she shouts, and I pause and turn and face her, "I love you" she says.

I feel my heart leap and I take a sharp intake of breath, "I love you too" I reply hoarsely.

I see the reaction on her face to those words, I know that I don't say 'I love you' often enough to her, as I maintain that they are inadequate for the way I feel about her, but I realise from the reaction she gives when I do say it that I really should say it more often.

I can't stop myself, I turn and back to her and take her in my arms once more and kiss her tenderly, before she pushes me away.

"Go on, get the hell out of here" she says gently.

I reluctantly leave her and go down the corridor to Angus' room and knock, he opens the door and stares at me.

"What's wrong lad?" he asks.

"Eva threw me out, she doesn't want me to see the dress" I explain, and I see a smile cross Angus' face.

"Well, you'd better come in then, and get ready in here" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

Nerves are beginning to set in, we are in the private room set aside for weddings, I am standing here with the minister, Angus and Davis Monroe, Davis has agreed to be my second witness, a job which has filled him with obvious pride. He has practically fallen over himself to make sure everything is in place for me.

Angus can see I am getting agitated and anxious and he puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Walk with me lad," he says quietly. I nod and go with him.

"Gideon will you calm down lad, she loves you and she is having your baby. Don't ruin this with your self doubts" Angus says to me.

I nod unable to speak with the huge lump which has just manifested itself in my throat.

"But I will say this to you, I am only going to say it once and I will never mention it again. That wee lass is as broken as you are and I know you have helped to heal her as much as she has healed you. I have heard her say as much, but all you have to do is look at her to know it; so you listen to me lad and listen good, you break her again in any way and I will tan your hide myself, you are not too big or too old for me to do that," he says waving his finger at me.

I grin at him, "I'll remember that, but I have no intention of hurting her ever" I say with a sense of finality.

Angus nods at me and smiles slapping me on the arm.

"I'm glad to hear it, now calm down as she will be here soon and it will be wonderful!" he says.

We walk back towards the minister who is talking to Davis. They appear to know each other well. I am guessing he is the minister who is called upon to perform all the weddings at the Excelsior. I glance at my watch, five minutes to go, I quickly text Christian.

_**I am in Vegas waiting for Eva to join me to marry me, any words of advice? **_

The reply is almost instant;

_**No not really, just enjoy every moment, you love her and she loves you - congrats my friend!**_

I smile at the response; I intend to enjoy this as this is exactly what I wanted. Just myself and Eva, I have no issues with not having my family here; the only people who I am missing are Ana and Christian. I look at my phone and have a sudden brainwave, I quickly text Christian again.

_**Is Ana there with you?**_

_**She is, why?**_

_**Facetime me and you two can be a part of this, you are the only people I regret not having here.**_

Moments later and Angus is holding my phone and Christian and Ana are the other end watching the proceedings. We have just managed to set everything up when the door opens and Eva appears. I gasp as I see her. She looks breathtaking as she walks towards me.

"Angel, you look... wow" I say, I pull myself together, and discreetly adjust myself to try and hide the rock hard erection I now have.

I point at my phone, "Look Christian and Ana are joining us via Facetime" I say.

Eva's face breaks into an even bigger grin and she calls hello towards my phone and waves wildly.

Ana's voice comes down the line, "Hi Eva you look beautiful" she calls.

"Thank you" Eva calls back.

"Shall we begin" the minister says.

I glance at my phone once more.

"The ceremony is starting now" I say, and I see Christian nod and pull Ana closer so that they are both in view in the small screen.

The ceremony is a blur, we are using standard vows but I have promised Eva I will write my own for when we do this again.

Eva has opted _not_ to obey me, I am not surprised and didn't and wouldn't expect her to.

When the minister pronounces us husband and wife, I grab her and kiss her passionately. We totally forget everyone around us, Eva responds with equal abandon, twisting her hands in my hair and practically eating me. I hear a small cough and we remember ourselves and pull apart panting and gasping for breath.

"Hey keep it clean, and save something for the wedding night Gideon" Christian calls facetiously.

I turn and without thinking I flip him off. Eva smacks my arm and blushes nodding towards the minister who has also just witnessed my gesture.

"Sorry" I mutter, remembering the other people in the room, as I hear Christian roaring with laughter down the phone.

I take my phone from Angus, "Ok did you get all that?" I say.

"We did, and thank you for including us" Ana says.

"Ana, before you go, we are not telling anyone we are married so we'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything either" Eva says.

"Understood" Christian replies.

"You can count on us Eva" Ana says smiling at us, "We are so pleased for you both" she adds.

My attention is drawn to Angus who is talking on his phone then he glances at me, a concerned expression on his face.

"I have to go guys, see you both soon" I say.

"Bye Gideon" they both call back, I kill the link and look at Angus.

"The press have got wind of this, someone talked" he says.

"Shit" I mutter.

Angus smiles at me, "I had prepared for this eventuality, if I may?" he says.

"What's the plan?" I ask.

Angus shrugs, "It's quite simple, we confirm. We release a statement to the effect that you two married in a private ceremony, just the two of you, but another public event will be held for friends and family at a later date. That way, we take the speculation out of it, there will be a public wedding later for them to cover and there also won't be the feeding frenzy when you announce the baby as you will be already married, what do you think?" Angus asks.

I nod, "Do it, but let Eva contact her parents first," I say as I glance at Eva.

I hand Eva my phone and she calls her father.

"Hi daddy" she says, "I'm good, are you ok?... good... listen daddy, I have something to tell you, now don't go mad, Gideon and I got married, today, we wanted it to be just us, no press nothing, just for us, but that meant we had to leave you guys out, but we are doing it all again at a later date, you know what the press is like, Gideon is so high profile and... yes he is ... Ok I'll put you on to him, but please daddy be nice, ok I'm handing you over".

She hands me my phone, "my dad wants to talk to you" she says.

I nod and take a deep breath, "Mr Reyes Sir" I say carefully and politely.

"My daughter tells me you got married today?" he says calmly, but I can hear an undercurrent of tension and animosity in his voice.

"That is correct sir, I felt it was the right thing to do, I love your daughter with all my heart" I say.

I stop and wait, the silence goes on for a while.

"She is my daughter, I expected to be there" he says tightly.

"I can understand that sir, and you have every right to feel the way that you do" I wait, holding my breath as the last thing I need is for this to turn ugly.

I think quickly and as the silence spreads out between us, inspiration hits me and I speak again, "we wanted a ceremony which wouldn't be tainted with the media, I am sure you can appreciate that I am a high profile figure and attract media attention as a result, I wanted Eva to have a wedding which was private and intimate, I admit it was a sudden decision, but I swear to you sir, my intentions were and always will be the best when it comes to Eva".

There is another silence and then a deep sigh reaches my ears, "Ok, I guess I can understand that, you are a pretty high profile guy and anything you do makes the evening news so getting married would turn into a bit of a circus, you promise me you will do what is best by my daughter and promise me you will love her and protect her with your life?" he asks me.

My answer is swift and certain, "Definitely, there is no question about that, you have my word" I say.

"You ever, ever do anything which negatively impacts on her, you hurt her in any way whatsoever, I will find you and you will not be able to hide behind your wealth, because I will destroy you" he says.

"I understand, and would expect nothing less, but I assure you it will never happen, you have my word," I say sincerely.

There is another long silence and then he speaks again, "Well, then you have my blessing and congratulations to you both".

"Thank you sir that means a lot" I say with relief.

"Tell Eva I will call her and talk to her later as I've just got a call" he says, and I can hear his police radio in the background.

"I will" I say.

I hang up and hand Eva the phone and relay to her what her father said, she smiles with relief and then she calls her mother. That call isn't quite so straight forward, Monica predictably bursts into tears and she thinks Eva doesn't love her anymore. I roll my eyes as Eva tries to explain and then eventually in desperation she hands the phone to me to try and calm her mother down.

I do so with the promise she can help organise the second wedding as long as she follows Eva's wishes. I let out a long breath as I hang up and Eva grins at me.

"I also need to tell Cary" Eva says and I stiffen at the mention of Eva's friend. I nod and hand over my phone once more. That call doesn't go to plan either as all I hear down the line from that asshole is him telling Eva that it's too soon and it will never work, and the fact I can hear him means he is shouting at her. I feel my hands balling into fists but I try and rein it in. I feel Angus place his hand on my shoulder and I realise he must have noticed my reaction.

As far as I am concerned Cary Taylor is fucking liability and I have no idea why Eva feels so obliged to him, the man continually self destructs and Eva ends up being the one picking up the pieces. My mind flies back to the time we walked into her apartment and Taylor was hosting a fucking orgy in Eva's front room and one of the participants was so out of his fucking mind on drugs that he propositioned Eva to join them. Needless to say that evening didn't end well and from that moment on my opinion of Cary Taylor has not improved.

My attention moves back to Eva who is ending the call with Cary. "All done?" I ask brightly and she gives me a weak smile, and I know immediately that fucker has now got Eva doubting her decisions again.

"Yep all done, are you calling your mother?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No" I say shortly and push my phone in my pocket.

I turn to Angus. "Ok release the statement" I say.

I am determined to wipe out whatever shit Cary Taylor put into Eva's mind and I take her to the restaurant for meal. After a delicious meal in a private dining room at the hotel we return to our hotel room. As we reach the door, I pick Eva up and carry her over the threshold of the room, she giggles and slaps me, calling me silly. I kick the door shut with my foot and carry her straight through to the bedroom. Laying her on the bed I slowly start to undress her, she grins up at me.

"Did you just call your husband silly Mrs Cross?" I ask teasing her.

Her smile gets wider, "Yep" she says nodding at me.

I am unfastening my shirt and I unzip my trousers pushing them and my boxer's shorts down I climb on top of her and start kissing her breasts. I hear her moan and she shuffles and wraps her legs around me.

"What are you going to do about it?" she taunts, and I grin at her as she goads me.

I raise my eyebrows at her, "what aren't I going to do to you!" I say I grasp her breast in my hand and kneed it. My mouth moves down her body and she shivers under my touch, I reach my goal and push her legs further apart as my tongue starts to explore her, I slide my finger inside her and I feel her warmth and she is oh so wet, I touch her clit with my tongue and she shivers again.

"I want you Gideon" she moans.

She tries to urge me closer and pull me back up on top of her.

"You want me Angel?" I whisper in her ear, as I settle on top of her again.

"Oh god yes" she gasps and urges me closer thrusting her hips up to meet me. I grasp myself and direct my dick towards her.

"Then take me" I say, and with one swift thrust I am inside her. She gasps at the sensation and I pause, "did I hurt you?" I ask, immediately afraid.

She shakes her head, "No, I want you" she says.

"Open your eyes Eva and look at me" I say as I smother her neck and breasts with kisses.

She opens her eyes and I see her love and trust in me and it overwhelms me. I thrust hard grunting with the effort of every thrust. She meets me, this is raw but it we are still making love. I feel her body responding to mine and she grips my hips digging her nails into my flesh, the feeling drives me wild and I thrust harder then suddenly I feel her tensing around me and she shudders and comes. I power through her orgasm chasing my own and I feel it and it bursts and I spill my seed into her. I rest my head on her shoulder panting and collecting myself.

"I'm not done with you yet" I growl in her ear, and I flip her over on to her stomach, I urge her on to her knees and enter her again. For the rest of the afternoon we carry on like this until we are both a sticky, exhausted sweaty mess.

We take a bath together and then I let Eva rest and sleep for a while to recover.


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

Eva is sleeping peacefully and I am sitting watching her, my heart feels like its going to explode with love and happiness. I have not felt this happy and content... ever.

I decide to text Ireland to tell her I am married, as I do so I start to feel a little regret now that she wasn't there either to see me marry.

_**Hi, before you hear the public statement in the media – I'm married, talk to you soon.**_

I press send and wait and on cue my phone starts to buzz, I quickly answer it with a smile.

"Hi Ireland" I say.

"Gideon, you got married and didn't invite me?" she yells at me so loudly that I pull the phone away from my ear.

"Calm down Ireland, yes I got married but nobody was there, it was just the two of us because we eloped. I needed the commitment and the vows but we are going to do it again for everyone else. Eva's parents weren't here, we wanted something just for us which wasn't going to be a three ring circus with the media," I explain.

"I get that" Ireland says after a pause, "so that means I have a sister now?" she asks excitedly.

"Yes I guess it does" I say, smiling at her enthusiasm.

"Great, I always wanted a sister, can I talk to her?" she asks.

"She's sleeping at the moment".

"Sleeping, why is she sleeping it's your wedding night?" Ireland asks.

I sigh, "I'm going to tell you something Ireland but you are not to tell anyone, as nobody else except Christian and Ana know about it, and you are certainly not to tell mother or Christopher, do you understand me?" I say firmly and perhaps a little sharper than I intended.

"Of course, I won't say a word, especially not to Christopher" she says and that comment makes me feel uncomfortable.

Ireland and Christopher were always very close until she found out about how he lied to our mother about the abuse I suffered and since then because of me that relationship has deteriorated and I do feel guilty about it, not for Christopher but for Ireland.

I put that out of my mind and return to Ireland's question about Eva, "Eva's sleeping because she is tired and she is tired because she is pregnant, she is having my baby, I'm going to be a father" I say.

A tightness grips me and emotion floods me, its still so new and I am still getting used to it myself, but I feel so proud of the fact I am going to be someone's father.

Ireland gasps "Wow, I have gained a sister and am to become an aunty all in one day, congratulations to you both. Are you going to tell mom about being married? Or let her find out via the public statement?"

"I'm not going to call her, please don't tell her about the baby, it's still very early days and we don't want anyone to know about that yet, please Ireland, promise me" I beg.

"I won't, I said I won't. My lips are sealed and I understand why you don't want her to know about the wedding. You know that she hates Eva with a passion, so you also know she will probably lose it and probably call you and chew you out over it when she does find out," Ireland warns me.

"I know, but I don't care" I say abruptly.

"Ok, well I've warned you and I won't say anything about the baby, but congratulations to you both big brother, hey when you do it again - get married I mean, can I be a bridesmaid?" she asks.

"Sure, I'll tell Eva" I say.

"Ok I'll let you go, as technically you are on your honeymoon at the moment. So congrats and I love you big bro".

With that, and before I can respond, she kills the call and the emotion brings a lump to my throat, I never in a million years thought I could ever be close to my seventeen year old sister, and yet she is the only member of my family I feel any connection with. I snort as I think about that. I feel closer to Christian and look on him more as a brother than I do Christopher, yet Ireland… I have developed a deep affection for her and... love for her, it dawns on me, I _love_ my little sister and that feeling overwhelms me.

As I am thinking about this fact, Eva opens her eyes and stretches, she looks up and her face breaks into a beautiful smile as she sees me watching her. My breath catches once more and I swallow deeply.

"Did you have a good sleep Angel?" I ask.

I can feel myself getting hard again and I try to fight it, she's pregnant for gods sake she doesn't need my dick inside her every second of the day. I need to try and exercise some self control. Which is harder than it sounds, I am an animal with her, all I have to do is think about my wife and I immediately get hard, shit even just thinking of her now as my wife is making me hard as well.

"I did thank you" she says "I'm starving now though" she adds rubbing her tummy.

I stand and hold my hand out to her. She takes it and climbs out of bed and walks into my arms.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to eat in the room or head out to a restaurant or something, or eat downstairs?" I ask.

"Hmm, I think I'd like to stay here with you, just the two of us in our own little bubble" she says.

"Consider it done" I say and I reach for the room service menu.

"Has the statement been released yet?" she asks looking at me carefully.

"I don't know" I reply with a shrug, "I would assume so" I add. I look carefully at her, "Why?" I ask.

"I just wondered, I mean you didn't tell your mom nor Ireland, are you really going to let them find out via the media?" she says.

I shrug, "I've told Ireland, I called her and we had a chat while you were asleep, which reminds me, she sends you her congratulations and says she always wanted a sister and she wants to be a bridesmaid the next time we marry" I say with a grin and Eva laughs.

"That's fine, I was going to ask her to be a bridesmaid anyway" she says.

"She also knows about the baby, I told her" I say carefully, and place my hand on her stomach as I say it.

She smiles at me, and rubs my arms, "That's ok, Ireland is important to you, I'm surprised it has taken you so long to tell her, and besides I told Cary" she says.

I try not to think about that, as it still rankles with me that he was the first to know about our baby. When Eva had discovered that she was pregnant while I was in Seattle with Christian and Ana, she had turned to Cary and he had persuaded her to fly out to tell me in person. To be fair to him he was the one who encouraged her to fly out and tell me so I suppose that is something in his favour, but it doesn't negate all the other asinine stunts he has pulled in the past where Eva has then felt obliged to pick up the pieces, plus the fact the reason he had this moment of maturity is probably due to the fact he is going to be a father himself as that is the latest drama in his life. The stupid fucker was seeing a really nice guy called Trey who was good for him and who I hoped would eventually replace Eva as his go to person. But the idiot decided to fuck around with a woman on the side and get her pregnant so needless to say his life has totally imploded again, and I am just afraid that Eva will feel the need to intervene once more.

I am pulled from my brooding about Cary Taylor as Eva wraps her arm around me and I hold her close and kiss her passionately and she immediately responds just as she always does with an equal fervour.

We order room service and some drinks and spend a lazy evening in our room just enjoying each other's company.

"Gideon" Eva asks suddenly.

"Hmm" I reply lazily.

"Are we going to Seattle before heading back to New York?" she asks.

"We can if you want to Angel" I say.

"Well I'd love to see Ana and just have a girly time just the two of us" she says.

"Fine, but remember Ana is pretty preoccupied with Christian at the moment now he has moved to the rehab she may not want to go out on the town and leave him for any length of time" I say.

"I know, that's why I want to do it. I mean, I think she is running herself into the ground for him, she has given up everything for him, she has given up her job which she loves, she is almost giving up her life as well, she is with him 24/7 working on getting him back on his feet. I mean it's all very noble and devoted but she needs a break and I don't think she is getting one. Did you know that she sleeps in his room at the rehab with him now? She started doing that when he was at the hospital in Portland, she gave up her hotel room and moved into his hospital room, but now there is no excuse as she could quite easily go home now he is in Seattle but she won't. It's not healthy and she can't keep going on like that. She needs some time for her but as far as I can see she isn't getting any at the moment… did you see her? I was shocked when we Facetimed them earlier, we have only been back in New York just over a week and I could see the change in her appearance in that short time".

I nod in agreement, truth be known I am worried about Ana as well, she has become almost obsessed with getting Christian walking and well again, and I was a little taken aback by her appearance. I know Christian is worried about her as well, he confided to me that he is concerned about her well being and state of mind he said he has suggested a few times she takes a break and leaves the hospital but she just won't do it. So he is working with her and working hard to regain full use of his legs.

As if my thinking about our friends is an omen, my phone buzzes and I look to see a text from Ana.

_**Brilliant news, Christian moved his legs by himself – back on his feet in no time! **_

I smile and show the text to Eva, as I am doing so another comes through from Ana.

_**I'm so sorry; I disturbed you, on your wedding evening.**_

I quickly text a reply; _**don't ever apologise for sending us wonderful news**_.

I decide to broach the subject of an evening out with Eva, I glance at Eva and it's as if she reads my mind, "ask her about a night out" she hisses at me as she shuffles closer to me.

I nod and prepare to send another text.

_**We are stopping off in Seattle to see you both before returning to NY – Eva wants a girl's night out do you want to go? I will sit with Christian.**_

I show Eva and she nods enthusiastically and I hit send, there is quite a delay before my phone buzzes with her response.

_**That would be nice, thank you**_

I smile and show Eva the text.

My phone buzzes again I glance at it and it is a text this time from Christian; _**Thanks for that Ana needs this.**_

I respond immediately; _**No problem my friend.**_

"You do know she only agreed because of the way you worded it and that you said you would sit with Christian" Eva says and she gives me a grateful grin "you are a very manipulative man Mr Cross" she says teasingly and flings her arms around my neck.

I laugh as I catch her and pull her close to me. We are interrupted by my phone buzzing insistently I curse under my breath before I grab it and without looking to see who it is I answer it.

"Cross" I snap irritably.

"How could you Gideon?" my mother's voice comes to me and I go cold.

I grip Eva tightly towards me almost using her as a shield against the words I know will be spoken between us and I feel myself stiffen at the sound of her voice.

"What do you want mother?" I ask coldly.

As I say this I feel Eva grip tighten on me, in that small gesture she is offering me all the love she feels for me and I take it and it gives me strength.

"Come on I've not got all night, say what you want to say and then leave me alone, you are interrupting my wedding night".

I know I am being cruel, but I can't help it. This woman didn't believe me when I went to her begging for help, she believed the word of a stranger rather than her own son, not that I ever felt like her son, I was always more of an inconvenience that she had to endure.

"Gideon, what have you done? How could you marry without having your family present, and her of all people, you have no idea what she is like. She is using you Gideon, she is just after your money and Christopher tells me she is involved with that singer – Brett Kline. Did you know that Gideon? She doesn't want you, she doesn't love you, why would she? She is using you she just wants and loves your money not you".

I close my eyes at her cutting words, she believes my brothers words unconditionally despite the fact they are all lies. Anger rushes through me at this thought and holding Eva to me and gripping my phone tightly I prepare my retort.

"STOP TALKING NOW" I shout.

Eva jumps at my raised voice and immediately I press a kiss to her forehead and stroke her arm, my concern for her paramount above all else. When I am satisfied she is ok I return my attention to my mother.

"You have no idea what you are talking about, Eva does love me and if she wanted my money, I'd give her every god damn cent. Yes I know she _was_ involved with Brett Kline, but she is with me now and she loves me, she wants me, and it's none of your damn business if I am married and you lost any right you had to be informed let alone be present, when you turned your back on me when I went to you for help. You had got your new life and your new family. You discarded everything that was associated with my father and your life with him, including me".

There is a brief silence and then she responds with a question, "Please don't tell me you gave her my ring?" she asks coldly.

I laugh bitterly, "I gave her _my_ ring mother, the one you gave to me, the one you threw out along with me when you got your new ring, your new husband, your new life and your new family".

I stop as I see Eva staring at the ring on her finger. A sudden panic fills me as I see her staring at it.

"Eva wears _my_ ring because she loves me" I say as I keep my eyes fixed on my wife.

I keep looking at Eva as I say these words, waiting for her reaction and her answering nod and smile fills me with relief and she holds me even tighter and it gives me the courage to continue to purge myself of all the resentment I have hoarded over the years.

"So don't you dare try and lay any claim on it or me, you made your choice mother, you chose your new life and pushed everything to do with your old life under the carpet and away so it didn't taint the wonderful new life you had. Eva believes me mother, she believes me unconditionally, she is healing me, and she loves me unconditionally, for the first time in my entire life I am happy and content, and Eva has made me that way, you will not taint my new life, that is why I didn't tell you".

I hang up and throw my phone on the bed, and turn to Eva and bury my head into her shoulder and sob.

"Hush, its ok" she says gently.

I feel her running her hand over my shoulders consoling me, offering me comfort. What the hell am I doing? This is my wedding night, I shouldn't be behaving like this, I pull away and stand up straight, towering over Eva.

"I'm sorry about that" I say, at glance at her and I see she is running her finger absently over the ring.

"Please tell me you don't mind that I gave you my mother's ring?" I ask.

She shakes her head, and holds up her hand, "No Gideon, this ring represents a time for you when you were happy and so as such I am proud to wear it" she says.

"I'm sorry" I say again.

"Don't be, that's what I am here for, I am your wife Gideon and it's my job and my honour to offer you comfort in your times of need and you needed me, you still need me so stop trying to put on a brave face and let me do my job as your wife to comfort you".

She pulls me towards her again and I relax and wrapping my arms about her I drop to my knees in front of her and press my head against her breast, she presses a kiss to my forehead and wraps her arms around me, my arms go around her waist.

"That's it, let it all out and let it all go," she whispers to me and those words release the valve which has kept all my emotions in check for all these years and I do just that, I just let go. I let it all out the pain I have carried around with me for years and I sob uncontrollably on my wife's breast.

"Do you feel better now?" Eva asks me when I eventually pull away from her.

I nod, I do feel better and I feel like I have been released. I remember Christian saying something similar when Sybil was convicted and jailed and when he told Grace and Carrick about his abuse. I don't feel weighed down by my past anymore, it's still there I can't change that, but finally confronting my mother with the hurt she inflicted on me by not believing me, for not loving me enough, has released me from some of the torment and resentment I was dragging around with me like an anchor.

I look into the face of my wife, the one person who loves me unconditionally, who makes me realise I am worth loving and who believes me. As I look at her I see the concern and love for me in her eyes and it almost floors me, that this woman feels that way about me.

"I'm ok" I whisper hoarsely.

"Good" she says and tenderly caresses my face, I lean into her touch and close my eyes, I live for her touch, I feel myself getting hard and Eva feels it too and her hand reaches for me.

"It would be a shame to waste this" she whispers in my ear. That is all I needed to hear and I grasp her by the shoulders and lever her on to the bed.

"Wait" Eva says suddenly, I stop immediately and remove myself from her, she gets up and goes to her toiletry bag and produces a small bottle. She shows it to me.

I see her take a deep breath she sits down the bed and pulls me down next to her holding my hand tightly.

"Baby, remember what we did, when I put myself inside you when I made you feel so good, on the day you proposed to me, you said you enjoyed it and would like to do it again some time, well I would like to give you that again, now, it seems only fitting we do it again on the day we get married, what do you say?

I think about what she said and slowly I nod my head. "Promise me you will stop if I say" I ask.

Eva nods her head, "Of course I will, always, I will never hurt you or do anything you don't want me to - look lets do this together ok, just like last time" she says.

I watch her undress and I remove my clothes, keeping my eyes on her, she leads me to the bed and I lay down, but as she straddles me panic shoots through me again, I focus on the last time we did this and how much I enjoyed it and how it felt so good, but the fact Eva is on top of me and I feel restrained is too much and it panics me.

"No not like this - side by side, like last time" I say.

We move so we are side by side, "it's ok baby, I'm going to make you feel so good" Eva whispers as she takes my cock in her hand, I close my eyes and feel her take me in her mouth, as she does this her hand moves under my ball sack and I twitch uncontrollably.

"Shhh its ok, I'm not going to hurt you" she says.

This is Eva, she loves me, she won't hurt me, she loves me, she won't hurt me, we have done this before and it was good. I keep saying this over and over as I start to touch her. I watch her reaching and searching for the lotion, I pass it to her lubricating my finger before I hand it over. I feel her finger touch me there, and my heart rate increases, she waits until I push out for her and she gently inserts her finger.

"It's ok I'm inside you now, you are doing so well, I'm going to start moving now ok?" Eva says.

"Ok" I reply but my voice doesn't sound like my own when I say it.

I insert my finger into Eva's butt and she gasps and arches her back, she then moves and takes my cock in her mouth again, I mirror her actions by sucking on her clit.

She starts to move her finger and I remember the last time we did this and the feeling is exquisite, I concentrate on this feeling and slowly all the old bad memories start to retreat from my mind. She touches that spot inside me which makes me want to come more than anything and I groan, my hips bucking wildly my dick is so hard it hurts and we continue like this for a few more moments until the urge I have to come overwhelms me and I come violently in Eva's mouth.

I hear her choke and I know just like before she is having difficulty taking all I am giving her, once again it nearly blows my head off and my orgasm makes me see stars literally, and once again she has given me one hell of a memory, one which I can call on when the dark ones invade my mind.

I continue to stroke Eva and suck gently I feel her orgasm building and she comes as she does so she presses that sweet spot inside me and to my surprise I come again spurting uncontrollably. I withdraw my finger from Eva and she slowly withdraws hers from me, she turns herself around and looks at me carefully, I am totally spent. I grab her and pull her into my arms.

"Thank you Eva" I whisper to her holding her to me, and once again tears start to fall.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day as we are in the air en route to Seattle Eva is working quietly on her laptop. I watch her and I voice an idea which I have been thinking about for sometime.

"Eva" I say.

"Hmmm" she replies still engrossed in her work.

"How would you feel if I offered you a job at Cross Industries?" I stop as I see her freeze, her head whips up and her eyes meet mine.

"But I have a job, one which I love" she replies.

"I know, and you are very good at it which is why I want you working with me" I say.

Eva smiles at me, "That's very kind of you, but I don't want to be thought of as getting my job just because I'm fucking the boss" she says.

Anger surges through me at that flippant and offensive comment, "Don't say it like that, you are my wife, and I want you by my side at Cross Industries" I say sharply.

Eva looks at me her eyebrows raised, she is clearly startled at my tone of voice, "Ok, what position do you have in mind?" she asks warily.

I move and sit beside her, "You have a flair for advertising and PR so I'd like to place you in that environment, but as my wife I want you by my side and involved with top level decisions, I believe you could handle it and you would bring a fresh perspective to the table," I stop and watch her reaction carefully.

"Gideon I... I don't know what to say, all my instincts are saying it would be a bad idea, I mean if we are not on the same page, you know how we fight so it wouldn't be a good atmosphere and then we'd be bringing it home, I'm not sure" she stops, shaking her head.

I lean forward, reaching for her hand, "Eva, you challenge me, you make me see things in different ways and ways which I have never even considered, you would be an asset, I can see nothing but positives in this, you and I are adults and I'm sure we can leave work at the office so it doesn't interfere with our private life so just consider it, please".

I stop and wait for her response to that. I see her thinking about it which gives me hope that she isn't going to dismiss it out of hand.

"Ok, let me think about it" she says.

I nod my agreement, this is more than I had expected, I had totally expected her to refuse so the fact she is actually thinking about it is more than I could have wished for, but I intend to have Eva with me at Cross Industries by the time we marry again.

When we land at Sea Tac in Seattle, Sawyer is waiting for us with a car and standing at his side is Raul, I greet them both warmly.

"How's Jason?" I ask and Luke smiles.

"He's good sir, he appears to be making a full recovery and he and Gail are having the time of their lives visiting the Great Lakes and Niagara Falls, and he is a very happy man now that Gail has made an honest one of him," he says.

"That's excellent news" I say, then I turn to Raul, "Anything to report?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No Sir, apart from the fact Welch seems to have fallen off the face of the earth, but we are trying to locate him. Once Garratt was out of the picture we pulled the tail on him. He sent a signed and witnessed confession of everything which has happened which implicates Hyde, Garrett and Rodriguez and he explains his part in allowing them to gain access to Charlie Tango and explains his relationship with Garrett and how he was being coerced into cooperating. That along with all the evidence we have should be enough when the case goes to trial, but obviously it would be better if he did testify when the time comes".

"Well keep searching, how's the reorganisation of the Grey Security system going?" I ask.

"Everything is in place now sir, Luke and Jez have worked their asses off getting the new protocol implemented and fine tuned, Taylor has been kept in the loop with the changes and Luke here has been briefing the men, who are all on board with the changes. I have to say Welch was a liability with some of the things he did, if it wasn't for Jason and Luke and the rest of the Personal Protection team, my guess is what happened with Charlie Tango would have happened much sooner, but there is no way anyone is breaching security now, it's as tight as a drum".

"Good, so you are coming back to New York with us then?" I say with a grin.

Raul nods, "yes sir, I think my work here is done. Although we do seem to have one minor issue at present".

"Oh?" I ask wondering what it could be.

Raul nods, "yes, it's the author who Mrs Grey signed up when she worked for Cross Publishing. David Grange, he keeps trying to get access to Mrs Grey. We haven't said anything to Mr Grey as of yet, as... well, he has enough on his plate and Luke tells me he has an irrational dislike of this man. Anyway, Grange appears to be harmless enough. I have researched the hell out of him and the only thing which could be an issue is the fact that there is no record anywhere of David Grange before 2000 which is a worry that he isn't who he claims to be. We have informed Damien to bring him in and have a chat with him and he said he has tried but so far Grange has blown him off every single time. He hasn't kept any of the appointments Damien and the team have set up for him," he says.

I think about that and my mind goes back to that man when he turned up in New York at thanksgiving and coincidentally appeared where Ana was and now hearing this red flags are not only being raised but are waving wildly. I quickly think things through.

"Ok, I agree that Christian should be kept in the dark for now but Ana needs to know about this, if this man is a threat she needs to be aware of it for her own protection. Perhaps I could be the one to broach the subject and maybe break it to Christian as well as it would be better coming from me, as I can make sound like no big deal and then hopefully he won't get too worked up about it" I say.

Both Luke and Raul nod in agreement and I see the relief on their faces and I realise they didn't want to have to tell Christian this. I feel Eva shiver and I immediately wrap my arm tighter around her.

"I'm sorry, you're getting cold Angel, come on lets get in the car" I say and open the car door, "Ok thanks guys, take us to our apartment and give us an hour or so and I'll call Angus when I'm ready to head to the rehab".


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr and Mrs Cross" Christian exclaims as we walk into the room.

I take a moment to look around Christian's room at the rehab centre. He has made such stunning progress he has been moved here for intense therapy to regain the full use of his legs and walk again. I see a wheelchair, a set of crutches and a body brace and it makes me realise what a fight my best friend is waging to regain his independence.

I look at Christian and he looks well, really well but I wish the same could be said for Ana I am shocked seeing her in person. She looks tired and in the short time we have been gone she appears to have lost a lot weight which considering how thin and petite she was originally it was weight she could ill afford to lose.

Eva walks over and kisses Christian's cheek and hugs Ana tightly. I can see that my Angel is shocked by Ana's appearance as well. Eva displays the ring on her finger and Ana smiles at her.

"How are you both?" I ask grinning at Christian, and I watch as Christian glances at Ana and I can tell he is concerned about her.

"I'm fine" he says tellingly as he looks again at Ana. She looks back at him and then to us, and she plasters a big fake smile on her face.

"I'm good and happy that Christian is doing so well" she says brightly. Eva doesn't hold back and lets Ana have it bluntly and directly.

"Bullshit, you are not _good_ at all because you look like shit Ana. You look beyond tired and you have lost a load of weight – weight you can't afford to lose. You look anorexic and you look ill. So what the fuck is going on? Don't lie and try to don't fob us off because we are not fucking idiots we can see with our own eyes that you are not fucking good – now just talk to us," she says folding her arms, I see Christian hide a smirk behind his hand as Ana glares at Eva.

I quickly jump in and try and smooth things over, "Ana she's right, she's just saying what we are all thinking. Admittedly, I probably wouldn't have said it quite like that, but you really don't look well, so what's going on because you are worrying us?" I say.

Ana looks up at me and to my shock tears appear in her eyes. Christian immediately reacts and leaning forward he reaches for her and pulls her towards him and wraps his arms around her as she dissolves into tears.

"I'm sorry," she says as she tries to pull herself together.

"The problem is she hasn't taken a break, despite me begging her to get herself away from here just for a while and spend some time just on her but she won't do it, she has been with me 24/7 since I moved here and she is beyond breaking point, and it's killing me to see her like this, I'm worried sick about her" Christian says sadly.

"Right that's sorted then. You are coming with me," Eva says firmly as she marches forward and grasps Ana by the hand. Christian releases her immediately and smiles widely at Eva, and he even pushes Ana towards her.

"What?" Ana replies looking startled.

"You and me - Spa day, a load of pampering. Then lunch, followed by more pampering and then a girls night out to let your hair down, relax and chill out" Eva states firmly, then she turns and looks up at me and I can't help but grin at her fierce uncompromising expression.

"Gideon, sort it now!" she demands.

I immediately take my phone out and make a few calls within moments a day of pampering has been booked for Eva and Ana. Christian quickly pulls out his wallet and tries to hand me his credit card to pay for the spa but I wave him away.

"This is on me," I say firmly.

"But" Ana begins, but I hold my hand up to stop her excuses.

I just know she is going to say something about not being able to leave Christian, I had told her I would sit with him when it was planned for her to have a girls night out, and she had accepted that but now plans have been altered for an entire day, she is trying to make some excuse to back out.

"Don't worry about Christian, I will stay with him while you are gone, and I'll accompany him to his physio sessions, we'll have a great time won't we buddy?" I say and Christian beams at me.

"You can count on it" he says.

Ana looks from me to Christian and back to me again, "well, if you're sure?" she says hesitantly.

Christian holds out his hand and Ana doesn't hesitate as she goes straight to him. "Baby, you need this, go and have a fun day with Eva and relax. I promise you I'll be fine here with Gideon," he says.

"Ok" she says eventually and she leans down and kisses him sweetly on the lips. I watch as his hand cups her nape and he deepens the kiss, Eva glances at me and smiles at me knowingly.

"Right come on" Eva says after a moment.

Christian lets Ana go as Eva walks over and grabs her hand and moments later, Eva has dragged Ana out of the room. I look at Christian and smile, and he returns it with a grateful one.

"Thank you for that, she really needed to get out here, she has literally run herself into the ground, and I was getting to the point of thinking I would have to get Luke to carry her out of here" he says sadly.

"She loves you, and wants to be by your side to help you recover," I say as I sit down beside him.

"Yes but killing herself isn't the way to do it" Christian replies.

He looks at me as though he is assessing me, "So what's new? And how do you like being a married man?" he adds with a grin.

I smile as I think of my wife, "I fucking love it, Eva is the best thing that ever happened to me, it feels right being married and now it's all legal and official, I feel I have a hold on her which she will have to struggle to break because I will do all I can to stop her breaking it," I say.

Christian nods knowingly, "I know exactly what you mean" he says quietly. "How the hell did two supremely fucked up men like us manage to get wives like the women we have?" he adds.

I laugh, "One of the great unsolved mysteries of the world my friend," I say as I slap him on the shoulder.

We sit and talk and Christian shows me his progress. He moves his legs slightly and with a lot of effort manages to bend his knees a little. He is in a relaxed and good mood and I decide to broach the subject of David Grange, I think before I speak so not to send him into a meltdown.

"Christian, do you remember that author Ana signed when she worked for me? Erm... David Grange?" I ask casually.

I watch as Christian stiffens and his face darkens at the very mention of him and he nods silently, I realise immediately from his reaction that I am going to have to tread carefully with this.

"What was it about him you disliked so much?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "I don't know, nothing I could put my finger on but he seemed very needy he was always phoning Ana and asking her advice. He asked a lot about you as well but Ana knocked that one on the head, saying she wasn't in a position to discuss you just because she worked for you and had a personal friendship with you outside work. I have gut instincts about people and he just set off all my internal alarms, there was just something not right about him. Something fake, for want of a better word but Ana said I was just being irrational and I do admit he made me over react a few times and over protect Ana, which she hates. Why do you ask?" He asks looking at me carefully.

I sigh, here goes "I was talking to Raul and Luke earlier and it appears he is trying to gain access to Ana. He has been informed that she no longer works at Cross Publishing and he has had several appointments made for him to visit with Damien, who took on all Ana's authors when she resigned but he has blown them all off. I just wanted to let you know. Ana is going to be briefed by Luke about it so she is aware that if he approaches her, she is to report it but other than that I can't see what else we can do for the time being. He hasn't been threatening or anything, and my feeling is he is just a little smitten with Ana and doesn't like that she has left Cross Publishing and possibly he is looking to see if she has moved on elsewhere, where he can follow her". I stop as I see Christian getting more and more agitated.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Listen, if I thought there was any real issue here I would put a tail on him. We have researched the hell out of him and there isn't as much as a parking ticket. Raul did say that there wasn't any record of him before 2000," I raise my hand to stop Christian butting in, "but that's not to say it's anything sinister" I say even though in my gut I know that probably isn't right.

I watch as Christian rakes his hand through his hair, I can see he is over-thinking this and as a result he is over reacting and I watch as he pulls out his phone.

"Christian calm down, who are you calling?" I ask.

"Ana, I need to know she is alright," I roll my eyes and quickly pull his phone from his hand and he glares at me.

"Gideon! What the fuck are you doing?" he snaps.

I give him an exasperated look, "If you call her, she will hear you are upset and come straight back here, do you want that? You wanted her to get away from this place and to relax and chill out, if you call her in a state she will cancel everything and come back here".

I glare back at him and then move his phone out of his reach.

He sags and sighs, rubbing his hand over his forehead, "of course I want her to relax and enjoy herself but I also need her to be fucking safe," he says.

I roll my eyes at him, "And she is, Luke is with them and Angus is driving them, and he may be older but he is lethal. Nothing will happen to her, I guarantee it. Shit do you think I would allow your wife and my wife out without adequate protection? Come on Christian get a grip," I say a little more sharply than I intended.

He shakes his head sadly, "If anything happened to her my life would be over," he says quietly.

I put my hand on his shoulder and gently squeeze as I know exactly what he is saying and I quickly voice that empathy I am feeling. "I know exactly what you mean my friend because I feel the same way about Eva, it's like I need her to breathe" I say.

Christian looks at me and smiles sadly, "We are so fucked up," he says.

I nod as I am in total agreement with him on that one.

"We are," I agree, "but we are the happiest fucked up bastards in the world because of those two women and nothing and nobody will harm them while we draw breath, so just calm the fuck down".

We sit in companionable silence for a few moments until we are disturbed by a knock at the door. A young man enters the room and looks surprised to see me; I quickly stand and hold out my hand.

"Gideon Cross" I say politely, and the man's eyes widen slightly as he recognises the name and he shakes my hand and introduces himself as a physiotherapist who has come to collect Christian for his session.

"Will Mrs Grey be joining us?" he asks looking around hopefully.

"No not today, I am joining you instead as we both felt Mrs Grey needed a break, so my wife has taken her out and they are having a girly day," I say with a smile as I think about Eva.

I swear I see a tinge of disappointment on the man's face. I glance at Christian and I see he has noticed as well. The man fetches the wheelchair and places it at the side of the bed, and waits with the body brace and crutches in his hand. I immediately put my hand out to help Christian get into the chair, but he holds his hand up to me.

"Thank you, but no this all part of the therapy, I need to do this myself," he says.

I watch as he struggles to get into the chair and my heart breaks for him, this strong independent man reduced to this. I push the thoughts from my mind as I know they won't help anyone, Christian doesn't need my sympathy so I do what I do best, I act like an asshole.

"Come on, we don't have all fucking day Christian, shift yourself" I say.

Christian looks up at me and grins as he manoeuvres himself into the chair; I watch as he focuses and bends his knees, bringing his feet up onto the footrest of the wheelchair, he looks at me proudly when he has done this.

"Did you see that, I lifted my legs up without having to use my arms to move them," he says.

"I did" I say hoarsely, I can't say anything more and I can't bring myself to make another smart ass comment.

"Ready then Mr Grey?" the young physio says.

"As I'll ever be" Christian replies and we head out of the room.

Watching Christian working in his gruelling physio session leaves me awestruck at his single minded determination. He is a machine as he forces his body to cooperate. I make myself useful and help out with some of the exercises he is doing, and I also get involved as he walks with the brace on making sure he doesn't fall as he hesitantly walks again.

As we are resting he turns to me, "Gideon, I need you to help me, I need you to challenge me," he says and I look at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I need you to work with me, and get my competitive streak showing, I need you to beat me, to make me work harder" he says.

"I don't understand?" I say, as I wonder what he is suggesting.

He sighs and then starts to explain, "I need to walk, and I need to be back where I was before the accident. I have by all accounts made astounding progress and that has mainly been down to my single minded determination but I need something more to take me to the next level. I am so close I can almost taste it, so I need you to motivate me and get me to that next level by beating me, I need you to race me" he says.

"Race you?" I ask still unsure of what he is suggesting.

"I need to pit myself against you. You will obviously win as you can walk unaided whereas I can't. I don't like losing at anything so it will kick in all my competitive instincts and it will motivate me to do better and my theory is that it will help me reach that next level, please Gideon help me do this" he looks at me almost pleading with me to agree.

I can't refuse him after hearing that but I also don't want him to do something which could possibly harm him.

"Is that a good idea? I don't want you to push yourself too far?" I ask, voicing those concerns as I realise what it is he is asking me to do.

He shakes his head, "No I need this, I am so close and I need the competition. I need to fight against something or someone, it's in my nature to be competitive and to be the best, please Gideon I need this" he says. I understand immediately what he is saying as I am exactly the same.

I nod my head, "Ok, but I don't want your wife kicking my ass if you hurt yourself" I say.

Christian laughs, "Get in line buddy, as it would be mine she kicks first" he says.

"Ok let's do this" I say as I stand up.

Christian levers himself to his feet and he moves slowly towards the two parallel bars. I position myself at the next set of bars and Christian calls to the physio to remove the brace, I stare at him as if he is mental, he can't fucking do that!

After some intense discussion the physio eventually does as he asks and Christian turns to me, "Ok race you" he says.

I'm really not sure about this now but I do as he asks and I stroll towards the end of the parallel bars before Christian has even got going.

"Come on what's keeping you Grey?" I taunt as I watch him struggling, whilst hanging on to the bars.

"Fuck off Cross" Christian pants back at me as he drags his body along.

The physio walking with him is watching him closely, at the moment most of the work is being done by his arms at first but then gradually I see him gaining more control over his legs and very slowly they start to move. I see the moment the physio sees this and a massive smile fills his face and he encourages Christian and offers him advice.

I watch and I can see his movements getting more and more coordinated as he progresses, and I realise what he meant, when he finally reaches the end I look at him.

"Race you back again?" I say, and I am surprised by the amount of emotion evident in my voice.

"You're on" he replies, I look and see the steely determination in his eyes.

We carry on like this for god knows how long, everyone in the room has stopped and is watching us, me strolling effortlessly from one end to the other, encouraging Christian to do the same and taunting him to move quicker and Christian refusing to give in but with every step he takes his movements become stronger and more fluid as his body cooperates.

Eventually his session comes to an end and we return to his room. I expect him to want to rest but as soon as the physio leaves Christian is pulling himself up to his feet, "hand me those crutches, when Ana gets back I need to be able to walk" he says.

"Don't hurt yourself man," I warn as I hand him the crutches.

"Shut up and just fucking help me" he says with a look of sheer determination.

"You got it buddy" I reply.

By the time Christian finally calls it a day, he is walking – in a fashion, with the crutches. Admittedly it takes him a long time to take each step but his balance is incredible not to mention his determination. I have to say I am speechless with the progress he has made, with the determination he has shown and with the sheer physical endurance. He is one fit man, and I think this has been part of the reason behind his extraordinary progress, his singled minded determination has played a huge part but also the fact he could physically keep going longer than most people.

**oooOOOooo**

It's nearly 8:30 in the evening when Christian receives a text. I can see he is getting agitated about Ana's absence and he grabs his phone and opens the message a huge smile crossing his face as he does so.

"Is that from Ana?" I ask.

He nods, "It is, she is telling me she has had a wonderful day with Eva and they on their way back as Eva is getting tired".

I immediately pull my phone out and text Eva; _**How are you Angel?**_

Her reply is almost instant; _**I'm fine – just tired and Ana is anxious to get back to Christian, I'm surprised she lasted this long.**_

Christian is sitting in the chair when Eva and Ana arrive. Luke walks into the room with them and nods at Christian. I watch the silent interaction between the two, Christian raises his eyebrows in question and Luke simply smiles and nods. I see relief wash over Christian and I realise that nothing untoward has happened during the day.

I pull Eva into my arms and kiss her gently on the forehead, my hand travels down her body to her stomach which I touch protectively.

My attention is drawn to Christian as he prepares to show Ana what he has achieved today. At this moment she is on his lap and he is kissing her passionately, then I hear him speak.

"Baby, can you fetch me my sweater please, I'm a little chilly?" he asks pointing across the room to a sweater. Ana immediately gets to her feet and walks across the room towards it. As soon as she stands up and turns her back on him he also stands and with the aid of the crutches slowly walks behind her, Eva gasps and I quietly shush her. As Ana turns and Christian is standing behind her she drops the sweater in shock.

"Christian what are you doing? Wait... you walked! Shit you walked!" she squeals and flings her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him over.

"I did baby and tomorrow I am going to walk to my physio sessions" he says firmly.

Ana watches him walk slowly back to the chair and when he is comfortable she climbs into his lap and he wraps his arms around her and I take this as our cue to leave.

"Come on Angel its time for us to go" I say,

I suddenly remember the conversation about David Grange.

"Oh by the way Ana did Luke talk to you about David Grange?" I ask.

She nods, "He did and I have no idea what he is playing at so what I am going to do is arrange to meet him with Damien but not say anything to him, and find out what he plans to do. If he wants to be a published author he can't behave like this, he has so much potential. It's silly if he is going to throw it all away because he can't deal with change".

"Let me know where and when you meet him so we can coordinate adequate security, just in case" I say and Ana nods.

"Of course, how long are you two staying in Seattle?" she asks.

I sigh, "Unfortunately it was a whistle stop visit, we are heading back to New York now tonight, as Eva needs to get back to work, but we will be back a couple of weeks or so for Christmas".

Ana nods in acceptance but she looks sad then she looks towards Eva and smiles gratefully. "Thank you for today Eva, I needed it more than I realised" she says.

Eva leaves me and hugs her tightly. "You are more than welcome, you need to take care of yourself Ana".

I nod in agreement; hopefully now Christian is visibly on the mend and she can see the progress he is making she will take more time for herself. I hug Ana tightly and slap Christian on the shoulder.

"Well we'll see you both in a few weeks time" I say, but at this moment I don't want to leave at all.

**oooOOOooo**

I awaken on the plane just as we are entering New York airspace, I get up from the sofa and stretch and make my way into Eva who is still sleeping peacefully in the bedroom. I climb in beside her and she rouses and turns to me.

"Good morning Angel" I whisper and kiss her gently.

"Mmm morning Ace" she replies and returns the kiss before pushing me away quickly and rushing to the bathroom. I follow her and hold her hair back as she is sick. When she is done I lead her back into the bedroom and tell her to sit quietly while I go and make her a mug of coffee.

When I return she is just out the shower and drying herself.

"Gideon I need to discuss something with you" she says looking carefully at me.

"Ok" I say, as I am trying to hide the panic that is beginning to rise, as I wonder what she is going to say.

I wait while she gets dried and dressed, and then she sits down beside me clutching her coffee mug.

"If you think we could keep work and home life separate... I'd like to... to come and work at Cross Industries, if that's ok?" she says quietly.

I fling my arms around her and relief washes over me, I am overjoyed at what she has just said.

"Of course its ok, Angel you have just made me so happy," I exclaim and kiss her repeatedly.

She giggles at me and kisses me back.

"What made you decide?" I ask.

"I talked it over with Ana; she is in the same position with Christian. He wants her to work at Grey Publishing, and so we sat and went through all the pro's and cons and there were more pro's than cons, and so as long as you can guarantee that if I do come and work with you that I will proceed or fail on my own merits and you won't use your influence to help me… then I will gladly come and work with you" she says.

"You have my word Angel" I reply.

"Alright then, I'll hand my notice in today, so you'd better get a position sorted out for me!" she says with a grin.

"I'll get right on it!" I say, reaching for my phone.

**oooOOOooo**

_Back in Seattle..._

**(ANA)**

"I can't believe what you did yesterday, with Gideon" I say looking at Christian, he has told me about his physio session and getting Gideon to work with him.

I nearly died of shock last night when I turned around and he was standing behind me, I am so happy he is on the mend hopefully now there maybe a chance he can come home and we can spend Christmas at home. I was hoping that we'd be spending our first Christmas in our new home on the sound. I know that Grace, Kate, Elliot and Mia have been co-ordinating with the security team about getting the house furnished and ready for us and I can't thank them enough for everything they have done while I have been here with Christian.

I am not feeling so good this morning. I feel sick and tired, I have been feeling sick for a couple of days now, I know haven't been eating properly and I also know I haven't been taking care of myself – which Eva had so bluntly pointed out but I have just been too preoccupied with Christian.

Thankfully the feeling passes and Christian and I settle down for breakfast and as I sip my tea I glance at the calendar on the wall, it's December 14th... hang on my period was due last week, I pull my phone towards me and check my calendar, I am over a week late. I feel sick and tired, could I be pregnant? I don't say anything but make a mental note to get a pregnancy test today. I see Christian watching me.

"Everything OK baby?" he asks.

I smile, "yes everything's fine. I was just surprised that it's December 14th already, its less than a fortnight till Christmas, do you think you would be able to come home for Christmas and we can spend it at our home on the sound?" I ask.

"I don't see why not, I can actually walk now without the brace albeit only for very short distances but I have my brace and crutches and we have help" he says. "I will still probably have to keep coming back for out-patient appointments but that's no big deal" he adds.

"When do Gail and Jason get back?" I ask.

"Tomorrow" he replies.

I finish my breakfast and then look at my watch. "Erm... I have to run a few errands, will you be ok till I get back?" I ask carefully.

Christian looks at me in surprise, "Of course I will baby, I'm glad you feel you can go out and spend a little time on you," he says.

I smile at him, "Eva ripped me a new one yesterday and told me to stop being so stupid, and she kind of had a point" I say.

Christian laughs "You can rely on Eva to say it as it is!" he says, "make sure you take Sawyer with you" he adds.

I nod and kiss him before leaving the room.

Luke is waiting outside. "Hi" I say with smile. He stands immediately.

"Good morning Mrs Grey I have just arrived, Fisher has gone home and there is nothing to report" he says.

I nod in response, "Erm, I need to nip out today to do a few errands, Christian said I'm to take you with me, but who will be with Christian?" I ask.

I watch Luke pull his phone from his pocket and text someone, moments later Ryan appears and Luke greets him.

"Morning Chris… Mr Grey has requested that I am accompanying Mrs Grey today while she leaves the rehab so until I return you are on boss watch" Luke says and then he flushes slightly at what he has just said, I don't say anything but smile at him.

"No problem Lukey" Ryan says with a nod and slight grin and then he enters Christian's room to let him know he is here.

"Ready then?" I ask Luke.

He nods and we walk away down the corridor.

I head to the pharmacy and I notice Luke's eyebrows rise when I purchase two pregnancy tests. Then I ask him to take me to the house on the sound. When I arrive I find Kate and Grace there decorating a huge Christmas tree and I gasp when I see it.

"Ana darling" Grace says and walks towards me.

"Hi Ana" Kate says with a grin as she continues to decorate the tree.

I hug Grace tightly, "it's beautiful" I say.

Kate walks over to us, "Christian called Elliot last night and asked him to get the house decorated for Christmas as he is hoping to come home and celebrate here, but I think he wanted it to be a surprise for you, so look surprised," she says with a laugh.

"Well great minds think alike I was here to decide where I wanted decorations, but as you have taken care of everything for me, I'll get back to Christian" I say.

"Do like it Ana?" Kate asks.

I see the anxious looks on Kate and Grace's face and I smile widely, "I love it" I say simply. "Thank you both for doing this" I add hugging them both tightly.

When I get back to the rehab, I walk into Christian's room and it is empty, so I take the time to go to the bathroom and I unwrap the pregnancy tests I have a number of emotions flowing through me, I can't help but think of the last time I was in this position and Christian's subsequent reaction, then I feel the familiar surge of guilt when I remember how that pregnancy ended. I try and shake off all these negative emotions because things are different this time as we were actively trying for a baby.

As I am waiting for tests to produce the result I hear a noise in the bedroom area. The next thing I know the bathroom door opens and Christian comes in on his crutches, he freezes and looks startled at me when he sees me and then his gaze goes down to the pregnancy test on the side and I hear his sharp intake of breath and the look on his face turns to one of hope.

"I… I just got back, I realised this morning I was nearly a week late and I thought..." I stop and put my head down and wait for Christian's reaction.

"Hey, come here" he says and holds his arms open to me.

I walk into his arms and he wraps them around me tightly. "If you are, I am ecstatic if you are not then... well we keep trying!" he says with a salacious grin.

I slap his arm and return my attention to the tests, surely it's time now. I look at them and gasp, positive, both of them. Tears stream down my cheeks as I show Christian the tests.

"Oh baby come here" he holds me and is kissing me passionately, his hand is splayed across my stomach and he breaks the kiss and stares at my stomach in awe and gently stroke it.

"You have made me the happiest man in the world, you have given me the greatest gift a woman can give – a child" he stops and the love is shining in his eyes.

I can't help but think of our lost child and the guilt consumes me once more. I see Christian notice my expression.

"What's wrong baby, you are happy about this aren't you?" he asks in concern.

I nod adamantly, "I am, I just can't help thinking about our baby I lost" I stop and the tears start to fall again.

Christian pulls me close and holds me in his arms. "Ana how many times and in how many different ways do I have to tell you that wasn't your fault? It was nature's way and the chances of that happening again are negligible. Please baby, I don't want you worrying about that. You do need to take care of yourself better than you have been doing and eat properly and make sure you get your rest and..." I place my finger on his lips to stop him.

"I know" I say simply and smile at him.

"Thank you Ana" he says.

"Christian, if we do manage to get out of here and go home for Christmas, could we… could we scatter our sons ashes as we planned to… on the beach?" I ask.

Christian nods at me, "of course we can" he says simply.

We head out to the other room and I watch as Christian calls Gideon. I smile I know he is bursting to tell someone about the baby, even though it is really far too soon.

"Gideon my friend, good flight?... good, good, listen I have news, you are not the only one who is going to be a father next year... yeah, we found out about 2 minutes ago you are the first person we have told... yeah, she's fine... we are going to tell my parents and Ray and I'll tell Elliot and Mia but nothing official yet... no, that's a good idea… yeah we'll do that…yeah they will… ok my friend, I'll talk to you soon, I'll tell her... bye" he kills the call and looks at me.

"Gideon is thrilled for us, he suggested we announce the pregnancy at the same time, send the media into a meltdown" he says with an evil chuckle, moments later and my phone pings at me I check my messages.

_**CONGRATULATIONS! OMG Ana we are pregnant at the same time, Gideon just told me, love to you both xx**_

I giggle and show Christian the text, he reads it and laughs loudly. I take the phone and respond to Eva's text.

_**Thank you - we are thrilled, c u at Xmas xx**_


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

"I really don't like this Ana, I'm not happy about you doing this" Christian says with his arms folded glaring at me as I pick up my purse.

"I will be fine Christian, I have Luke with me and Damien will be there and I'm sure you and Gideon have arranged other security to be in place just in case," I say trying to pacify my over protective husband.

Ever since I arranged a meeting with Damien and David Grange, Christian has been in a tailspin. I cannot understand what his irrational dislike about this man is. I also get the impression from Gideon that he doesn't like him very much either. Admittedly he is a bit... well... strange, but he has bags of potential to be an excellent author. I also admit his reluctance to deal with Damien is a bit creepy, but today he will have no choice. I am meeting him and taking Damien with me. Gideon is here as well, after Christian had a complete meltdown and Gideon promised to be on hand if needed. I went crazy at Christian for dragging Gideon back across the country to Seattle again.

I glance at Luke who is stoically standing saying nothing and giving nothing away. I walk up to Christian and kiss him gently on the lips; he grabs me and deepens the kiss. When he pulls away he presses his forehead to mine.

"Please baby be careful, it's not just you now" he places his hand on my stomach and I smile at him, I put my hand on his cheek.

"Christian, I will be absolutely fine. I am not about to risk the life of our baby for anything," I say quietly. He holds me tighter for a moment and then releases me.

"Ok, just stay close to Luke and Gideon and call me when you are finished," he says.

"I will Christian, and please try not to worry" I say.

I leave, taking one last look at my husband who has that lost look of fear and anxiety in his eyes which kills me. As we leave Jez appears. I had arranged for Jez to come and sit with Christian so he could have access to goings on and not feel pushed out, honestly its ridiculous the protocol which has been put in place for this one meeting. Raul is here he flew in with Gideon and is on the ground liaising with Luke and two other plain clothed security operatives and reporting back to Jez who will relay what is going on to Christian and hopefully keep him calm. As we are leaving I see Jason strolling in as well.

"What you are doing here?" I ask in surprise.

"Attempting to keep your husband calm and relaxed, Jez won't be able to handle it if he goes thermo nuclear, he doesn't know what he's like when he completely loses it as he has never witnessed it. I however, have vast experience of it," Jason says with a grin.

I snort, "Good luck with that" then I lose my smile and I look at him carefully, "Are you sure you are up to it?" I ask seriously then with another grin after glancing at his simple gold wedding band I add, "I don't want your wife kicking my ass if you over do it?"

Jason smiles at me and shakes his head, "Ana, I am going insane being tied to the office. I need to be out doing something, and at the minute this is all I am cleared to do, so if I can be of use then I will do it," he says.

I fling my arms around him, "You are a good man Jason, and Christian will be pleased to see you". I say he returns the hug stiffly but doesn't say anything.

Raul meets us outside, and texts Jez telling him that we are leaving the hospital now. I glance at him and he shrugs.

"So, my every move is going to be reported back to Christian?" I ask sarcastically.

"Pretty much" Raul replies with a grin. I shake my head and tut loudly.

When we arrive at the Cross Publishing office where Gideon is waiting and he embraces me tightly.

I return the hug and place a small kiss on his cheek, "Hi, I am so sorry that you have been dragged back to Seattle again," I say.

Gideon laughs, "Well we were due to fly out the day after tomorrow anyway for Christmas so I just arrived early, its no big deal. Eva is coming out as planned on the 24th as she is working her notice and that is her last day. She is leaving work at lunchtime and so should be here early evening on Christmas Eve, so we can all spend the evening together" he says.

"Besides, Christian was so worried, I hated to hear him so worked up about this so it was the least I could do – he'd do the same for me," he says confidently and I know that to be true. Christian and Gideon are closer than brothers.

"Ana its great to see you, how is Mr Grey?" I turn and see Damien who has just arrived.

"Hello Damien, I'm very well and Christian is wonderful thank you, he is going home later today, in fact after this visit we are leaving the rehab centre and going home at last," I say.

Damien smiles widely, "That's brilliant news, is he walking now?" he asks.

"Yes, only just he still needs crutches and a brace to walk any distance so he isn't totally mobile but he is getting there" I say.

"Anyway how are you Damien?" I ask. I look at him he looks well and I know he has been working hard with John Flynn.

"That's really good news, and as for me I'm in a good place now" he says then his smile fades and he looks seriously at me, " I'm sorry you have do this, I have reached out to David so many times and he has blown me off every single time, he won't even talk to me" he says.

I sigh, "I know, hopefully we will find out what his problem is when he arrives" I say.

Gideon leaves us and goes to sit with Raul who is watching from a distance. Luke sits beside me and Damien sits the other and we wait. Moments later I see David arrive he stops dead when he sees Damien and Damien looks like he has seen a ghost.

"You!" he gasps.

I look at Damien and back at David who is rooted to the spot glaring at Damien.

"David, Damien, will one of you please tell me what is going on?" I ask sharply.

David looks like he is going to turn around and leave, so I stand up, "Just hold it right there mister, you plant your ass down here and explain yourself. I have had to arrange this today and there are many other things I could be doing right now" I shout.

David stares at me and obediently sits down at the table. "What like spending Christmas with a murderer" he spits as he catches sight of Gideon across the room.

My mouth drops open and I glance at Gideon, thoughts of Nathan Barker fly through my mind but surely he can't have anything to do with that? Gideon doesn't give any indication to what he is thinking about as he rises from his seat and walks over and sits down beside Luke, frowning at David.

"What are you talking about?" I ask in confusion.

"Yeah David, what are you talking about and why don't you tell her who you really are," Damien says sarcastically.

"Him" David says pointing at Gideon, ignoring Damien's comment completely.

"He was responsible for my father's death" he says with pure hatred in his eyes, Gideon looks shocked and bewildered.

"Ok I have no idea what that means, but now tell her your real name" Damien replies.

David glares at Damien and then turns to me, "he was the one responsible for my father's death - he committed suicide. I came to you because I knew you were personal friends with him and I wanted to get close to him to find out what he did and why he made my father commit suicide. When you left Cross Publishing I thought I'd lost my chance and I was working on a new plan to get access to him, but I need to know why," he stops speaking and just glowers at everyone.

"Who the fuck are you?" Gideon growls.

David stares at Gideon, "My name is Gareth Somerton, my father was Hugh Somerton" he says.

I see Gideon gasp and his face goes deathly white. The name rings bells and then it hits me, Hugh, Hugh was the name of the man who raped Gideon when he was a child, but how does Damien come into this? I look at Damien.

"How do you know him?" I ask.

"My mother knew his father when she lived in New York and after he died, she kept an eye on him over the years as he grew up, no matter where we moved to she kept a check on what he was doing and how he was growing up" he says bitterly.

"I bet she did!" I say before I can stop myself.

I turn to David, Gareth or whatever his name is. I stand and I press my hand on Gideon's he looks at me and I look questioningly at him, silently asking for his permission to speak. Gideon looks so shattered at this moment he simply nods and gestures with his free hand for me to continue. I let go of his hand and lean across the table, my hands now balled into fists. Anger is coursing through me and Luke shifts uncomfortably and glances at Raul who is texting furiously.

"So let's get this straight, you came to me under false pretences to gain access to my employer and my friend?" I say quietly.

David nods defiantly and opens his mouth to speak, but I raise my hand and he shuts his mouth again.

"You want to know about your father, you really want to know the reason he committed suicide, you want to know the truth?" I say harshly.

He nods but looks a little more wary now, he glances at Gideon who is still looking absolutely shell shocked.

"Well I hope you can handle the truth Gareth because your father was a sick, twisted and perverted man and what I am about to tell you, you are not going to like" I say.

I glance at Gideon one more time and he nods almost imperceptibly, I return my gaze to David and lean closer, I see him swallow and glance nervously at Luke.

"Your father was a sick, nasty, filthy paedophile" I spit at him I see him balk at the words.

He shakes his head, he is staring at me, but I continue regardless of his feelings because he has hurt my friend and that makes me mad really, really mad. I walk around the table so I am leaning over him and he shrinks away from me.

"Your father was hired to help Gideon with therapy to get over his fathers suicide and issues he was going through when he was a child. However, instead of helping him your father sexually abused him and repeatedly raped him. When Gideon was in a position to do something about it, the statute of limitations had run out for him but he didn't want what he went through to happen to any other child so he confronted your father and he told him that he would set up an unlimited fund to help any further victims of his to gain justice and that he was not to lay a hand on another child. He also discovered your father was in a paedophile ring in New York and he put all his efforts into exposing and destroying it. Damien's mother, who kept an eye on you over the years was also a paedophile and predator, and she was probably grooming you for their special brand of sickness as they were both in the same paedophile ring, we have documented proof to back up these claims, so you should be thanking Gideon because it is my opinion that if your father had stayed alive you could have been another victim of his and ended up like this wonderful man here". I point at Gideon and he offers me a weak smile in return.

"But... I... I... but" David stammers clearly shocked at what I have just said.

"What? There is no 'but' and there is no valid excuse available here. That is the full unvarnished and ugly truth about your father. You have no right to judge this man after what your father put him through when he was a child, and not to mention what other members of your family did when they compounded that abuse by lying to his mother and making her disbelieve him. He is more of a man than you will ever be, you nasty scheming lying toe rag".

I stop and return to my seat, I reach for Gideon and I am thankful when he responds to me, I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly. I pull away and glancing at Damien who nods at me I turn my attention back to David.

"Consider your contract with Cross publishing terminated and get out, I never want to see your face again".

I look away and hear him walk out of the room. I glance over at Raul who is still texting he looks up at me and smiles.

"Raul can you make sure there is someone keeping tabs on him I don't think he is finished yet, when he gets over the shock I am pretty convinced he will reappear again," I say.

Raul nods, "yes Mrs Grey I am doing that at the moment, erm... your husband is requesting that you and Mr Cross return to the rehab centre as soon as possible" he adds.

I grin at Raul, "Do you mean Christian is demanding we get back there right now?" I say.

Raul's mouth twitches and he nods sheepishly.

I turn my attention back to Gideon, I touch his hand and he looks at me, he looks completely shattered.

"Come on lets go" I say gently to him.

He nods and quietly we leave the room and Cross Publishing, I hug Damien tightly as we leave and I wish him a merry Christmas.

Before we get to the car to go back to the rehab centre I grab Gideon's arm and pull him to a halt.

"Hang on guys I need to pee" I say as I look at Luke, Raul and Gideon.

They all nod and stand waiting for me outside the ladies bathroom.

Once I am inside I pull my phone out, my first call is to Christian and he answers on the first ring.

"Baby are you ok?" he asks anxiously.

"Christian I'm fine, just shut up and listen to me. Gideon is in a bad way, David turned out to be Hugh's son" I say.

"Yes I know Raul told us that much, so I guessed he would be. I have called Eva and told her and she is leaving New York as soon as she can," he says.

I smile and my love for this man increases tenfold.

"You are a wonderful man you do know that don't you? I was just about to call Eva myself, but you knew, thank you" I say.

"I think you should call her as well, as I was unable to give her any information, only the basic details that were being relayed to us from Raul and she will be beside herself until someone tells her how Gideon is" Christian replies.

"Ok I will, we are on our way back now, are you ready to leave the rehab?" I ask.

"I am, I've signed all the discharge papers so I am just waiting for you now" he replies.

"Ok I'm on my way" I say firmly.

I hang up and quickly call Eva, and she answers quickly.

"Ana? How is he?" she asks as a way of greeting.

"Hi Eva, he's not too good, we are heading to pick Christian up and going home, but please try and not worry about him, we will take care of him till you arrive," I promise.

"Thank you, I appreciate that, I have just finished everything I need to do here and I am in the car heading to the airport now. I should be in the air within the hour, so having said that I should be with you by this evening. Don't come and meet me, I'll head straight to the house on the sound and surprise him," she says.

"Ok I'll tell Christian, is Angus travelling with you?" I ask.

"He is, he is like a father to Gideon and so I'm sure he'll need him too" she says.

"I'll get Gail to get a room ready for him at the house" I say.

"Thank you" Eva replies, "Listen, I have just arrived at the airport, so I need to go, I'll see you later… and Ana, please take care of him for me till I get there" she says.

"Don't worry I will, bye Eva" I say.

I kill the call and finish what I have to do and then head out. The group of men turn and look at me and Luke has a concerned expression on his face probably because I have been so long.

"Ok are we ready to roll?" I say.

They all nod, "Excuse me Mrs Grey are you ok?" Luke says.

I smile at him reassuringly, "I am, everything is fine" I say.

We head to the rehab and pick up Christian and after a detour to Escala to pick up our sons precious ashes we go to our home on the sound. The drive is quiet and most of the journey is spent with Christian and Gideon talking quietly. We are all crammed into the back of the SUV, Gideon is in the middle, Christian is one side and I am the other. Christian has his hand on Gideon's shoulder and is talking to him earnestly. I am sitting on his other side holding his hand tightly. Luke is driving and Raul is beside him in the front, following us is Jez bringing Jason home.

When we arrive we gasp at the house, Gail is waiting for us and the foyer looks like Santa's grotto. It's absolutely beautiful.

"Welcome home Mr Grey" Gail says smiling widely.

"Thank you Gail" Christian replies as he walks slowly and carefully into the house.

I pull Gail to one side, "Gail, Eva is on her way here as we speak, and she is bringing Angus with her, I'll help you prepare a bedroom for him," I say quietly.

"That's fine Mrs Grey, and actually it's already done as Mrs Cross called me to make me aware that she was arriving tonight and to ask if it was ok if Angus came too. I have prepared a room for him in the staff wing. Mr and Mrs Cross's room is ready for them as well. I've given them the large guest suite on the same corridor as your room, the one which you specifically intended for them" she says.

"Thank you Gail, and the house looks beautiful" I say.

Gail laughs, "Yes, Dr Grey, Miss Kavanagh and Miss Grey had the time of their lives decorating it up, although there were numerous differences of opinion, I had to step in as referee a number of times" she says with a grin.

I leave Gail and head in search of Christian and Gideon I find them in the Great Room. I watch them silently, Christian hands Gideon a generous glass of bourbon and sits down beside him. They are talking quietly and I see Gideon nodding. I make a point of announcing my entry and go and sit beside Gideon, he glances at me and tosses back his drink, I take the glass from him and set it on the table.

"Gideon look at me" I say firmly, he turns his head and fixes his beautiful blue eyes on me.

"You need to snap out of this because you have done nothing wrong. Whatever David, Gareth or whoever he is thinks is irrelevant. He grew up without a father, a fact which I'm sure you can sympathise with and relate to, your father also took his own life and he also had his reasons for doing so but..." I am interrupted as Gideon speaks.

"My father chose to die rather than face the consequences of his actions which included jail time" he says looking at me.

I nod in agreement with that, "Yes he did and so did Hugh, you told him not to lay a hand on another child and if he did you would set up an unlimited fund for them to get justice – he had clearly violated other children and chose to kill himself rather than face the risk of them coming forward and getting justice, you also exposed him as not only a paedophile but a member of a twisted and sick group of paedophiles when you exposed the paedophile ring in New York. He was a twisted sick man who refused to take responsibility for his actions and you are not to blame for that. David is the innocent victim, growing up without a father, as were you but you unfortunately came into contact with Hugh... It's like saying it's your fathers fault you got raped, if he hadn't killed himself, your mother wouldn't have moved on and your life wouldn't have been turned upside-down and you wouldn't have needed therapy and as a result you would never have met Hugh. Shit happens Gideon, and you are not to blame for the decision Hugh took to end his life, that was his decision because he couldn't face the consequences of his previous decisions and crimes".

I stop and look at Gideon carefully and I watch as he processes what I have said and I see his shoulders relax.

"You are right of course Ana, it was all a bit of shock that's all" he says.

I wrap my arms around him, "Of course it was anyone could see that. It was a shock to everyone in the room but for you it must have been like a kick in the gut" I say kindly.

I see Gideon take a deep breath and sigh, he scrubs his face with his hands and looks at me and then at Christian.

"Thanks guys" he says quietly.

Christian slaps him on the shoulder "Anytime" he says.

I hug him tightly, "You are more than welcome" I whisper in his ear.

After some lunch we go down the beach. I am clutching the small urn with the ashes of our dead son. Christian is wearing his brace and is slowly walking beside me. Gideon is on my other side, and when we reach the beach I pause and look around, I see an area where the sand turns into a grassy bank and there are an assortment of bushes, I point.

"Over there" I say and make my way over and look up at Christian.

"What do you think?" I ask him and he smiles at me.

"It's perfect baby, plus we have this bush as a physical reminder of where we laid our son to rest" he says.

I look at Gideon and he smiles reassuringly at me. I fall into a crouch and with shaking hands I open the urn and gently tip out the ashes and watch as they mix with the sand. I feel tears pricking at my eyelids as I do so and I whisper a quiet simple message as the ashes are scattered.

"Goodbye my sweet boy and I'm sorry" I say.

I stand up and look for Christian who immediately is by my side and holding me in his arms, "are you ok?" he asks me and I nod.

"Yes I am, I met my son and now I have finally said goodbye to him" I say.

"What about you?" I ask as I look up at him he is giving nothing away by his expression.

Christian looks at me and just smiles at me, but as our eyes meet I can see the sadness and pain in his and I hold him tightly determined to give him as much comfort as I can. He responds by placing his hand on my stomach, a simple gesture but the message is clear, we have said goodbye now we look to the future.

**oooOOOooo**

Christian and I make a point of keeping Gideon busy all afternoon and I watch as Gideon helps Christian with his physio exercises. The surface of the sandy beach makes it harder for Christian to walk and it is making him have to work harder to achieve the results he needs, I watch as Gideon appeals to Christian's competitive nature and challenges him to race across the beach.

Christian carefully removes the brace while Gideon and Luke find two appropriate markers, there is a rock further down the beach and Gideon points to it suggesting that should be the finish point Christian nods and Gideon looks around for a start point, an almost convenient rock quite near to us is spotted and agreed as the starting point and both Christian and Gideon move towards it. I glance at Luke and he shakes his head at the antics of the two men and he reaches into his pocket and sends a text.

"Baby can you start us off?" Christian calls, I nod and I quickly walk over.

"Ok, no running Mr Cross" I say and Gideon grins at me, "on your marks, get set, GO" I shout and watch as Gideon strolls confidently across the sand.

Christian is clearly struggling in the sand especially without his brace on but the determined glint in his eyes says to me he is enjoying this challenge, plus I am pretty sure Gideon is the only person alive he would allow see him at such a disadvantage not to mention to beat him in direct competition.

I hear a familiar voice call out to Christian and I turn to see Jason strolling purposefully towards him.

"Come on Sir you can do it" he calls and Christian turns and grins at him.

This gives him a morale boost and he starts to move a little faster with Jason at his side, encouraging him along. Tears start to fill my eyes and as I stand with Gideon at the finish point, he notices and silently wraps his arm around me. When Christian reaches the finish point he is breathing heavily and Gideon releases me. I fling my arms around him, he lets go of his crutches and holds me tightly. The wind blows and I shiver suddenly, Christian immediately notices.

"Are you cold baby? Come on lets go back to the house" he says with concern.

Gideon reaches for the abandoned crutches and hands them to Christian and after Christian gets his brace back on we slowly make our way back to the house. When we eventually get back we go to the pool, it is warm and humid in there and I see an idea forming in Christian's head.

"Gideon did you bring your swim shorts?" he asks.

"Well you told me to bring them so yes I did" Gideon retorts.

Christian smiles widely, "then I challenge you to a race across the pool – swimming stroke of your choice" he says his eyes glinting.

"Christian you should rest" I say, but my remark falls on deaf ears.

"You're on" Gideon says, I just shake my head and settle down in the pool area with Luke as the two men go and change. When they return to the pool, Jason also appears and he sits down beside me.

"The boss has a good chance of winning this one, and he knows it" Jason says to me as we watch Christian carefully getting into the pool.

Gideon goes further down the pool and runs and jumps bringing his knees up and creating an enormous splash as he hits the water, he emerges from the water and then he and Christian splash each other like children, before they both swim to the deep end of the pool.

"Baby are you going to start us off again?" Christian calls.

I roll my eyes and stand and make my way down the pool side. I raise my hand, "On your marks, get set... GO!" I shout, and sweep my arm down.

As I do so I watch and see both Luke and Jason standing and yelling. It's close but Christian does it as he reaches the end and touches first, a cheer erupts from Luke and Jason and they are both jumping up and down, clapping and cheering like children.

I make my way to Christian and leaning down I kiss him on the head, "Well done" I whisper, I see the joy and satisfaction in his eyes, Gideon swims over and shakes his hand.

"Well done my friend – a worthy win" he says, then with a grin he adds, "Best of three?"

Christian nods and they go again, this time Gideon wins by a hairs breath and its down to the final run, which Christian just wins. I know this isn't over and the two men continue to swim, challenging each other and I smile as I watch them. Christian is helping Gideon take his mind off events of today and Gideon his helping Christian with his mobility and I realise they are both helping me take my mind off our final goodbye to our son. As I sit and watch a voice whispers in my ear.

"Hi," I turn and see Eva standing beside me.

"Hi" Good flight?" I ask standing and hugging her, she nods and then turns her attention to the pool.

"They look like they are enjoying themselves" she says.

"Oh yes it's been one long pissing contest though, it's testosterone central in there" I say with a laugh. I explain what they are doing and how long they have been doing it and Eva shakes her head.

"They will be all pruny when they eventually get out" she says.

We sit and wait to see how long it takes the two men to notice Eva has arrived. Christian notices first and nudges Gideon and points, I watch Gideon still and then he swims powerfully across the pool and climbs out.

"Angel! What are you doing here?" he says.

She stands and he goes to hug her. She squeals pushing him away and an evil glint appears in his eyes as he grabs her, soaking her and he plants a wet soggy kiss on her lips.

She giggles, "You needed me Ace so I came. I have finished everything I needed to do and got the first flight I could out of New York, but it appears you are having so much fun here I could have stayed where I was" she says.

"Never, I always need you" Gideon replies and nuzzles her neck.

Christian exits the pool and grabbing his crutches makes his way slowly towards us.

"Let's get changed and we will go and eat, I happen to know Gail has made Lasagne" he says, Gideon whips his head up and releases Eva immediately, we all laugh at his instant reaction.

"Nice to know that I rank below your love of Gail's Lasagne" Eva says sarcastically.

"Angel there is no competition, I love you with all my heart, but a man has to have his priorities in life" he says with equal sarcasm.

We all laugh as Eva shoves him, as she does so he grabs her and then he slips and the next thing we know they are both in the pool.

"GIDEON!" Eva squeals as she is splashing around in the water, Jason, Luke and I all rush forward and offer her assistance to help her out the pool, while Christian just stands there laughing.

Gideon also emerges with a sheepish and anxious expression on his face. "Are you ok Angel? I didn't actually mean for that to happen" he says.

Eva shakes her head at him, "I'll deal with you later" she says but there is a grin on her face as she says it. Luke hands her a huge towel which she wraps herself in and we all head out to get changed.


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER 43

_Two days later… _

_(Christmas Day)_

**(ANA)**

I am wide awake and I have been awake for a while, morning sickness has afflicted me again, but I'm feeling better now though and now I have brushed my teeth and had a shower and I have returned to bed to wait for my husband to wake up.

Today is our first Christmas day together, the first of many, this time last year, I was living with Kate and I spent Christmas day with Ray in Montesano, just the two of us it was a quiet and simple day enjoying each other's company.

I couldn't get much further from last year if I tried and if I am honest I am quite nervous about it, I decided that I wanted to cook Christmas dinner for everyone and although I love cooking I am wondering if I have been a little bit too ambitious, as cooking for one or two people is slightly different to cooking for a house full.

Christian can't understand why I wanted to do it and he insisted that Gail help me. She assured me she didn't mind, but I only agreed to that as long as she had the rest of the day off and she and Jason joined us as guests rather than employees and much to my surprise Christian had agreed to that.

Ray is coming of course, as is Grace, Carrick, Elliot, Mia and Kate. Gideon and Eva are here already and Gideon is flying in Ireland today to join us and we are also meeting Eva's father Victor today for the first time as Gideon is flying him in from California and Angus is also joining us. So, to put it bluntly we will have a house full. I have never been around so many people at Christmas in my life and I am more than a little daunted by the prospect.

I run my hand over my stomach, this time next year both Eva and I will have our own children to share the day as well. That thought makes my heart leap. There will be people missing though, Luke is spending Christmas with his family and is due back the day after tomorrow, and of course my mother, although to be fair I can't actually remember the last Christmas I celebrated with her. Eva had told me that this will be the first year for a while that she won't be spending Christmas with her friend Cary, she has told me all about her best friend and how much he means to her, but going on what I have been told about him I can't help but wonder if he thinks as much of Eva as she does of him. He had also been invited to join us, but had refused, preferring to stay in New York instead. I had also asked about her mother, but she had told me that her mother and step father were spending Christmas in the Caribbean.

I take a moment to look at the man beside me who is sleeping peacefully. He told me last night that he never looked forward to Christmas like he is doing this year; he spent the day with his family out of duty rather than desire and left at the earliest opportunity. Whoever he was seeing at the time would be spending the day with her family and so he spent the majority of the day working and alone. I found his admission heartbreakingly sad and I am determined that this year will be the best Christmas ever, not only for me and Christian but also for Carrick and Grace.

Grace has told me how much Christian has changed since he has been with me and she told me she feels she finally has her son, the one she always knew that Christian could be. I know she also still feels an enormous amount of guilt for not seeing what Elena did to him as a teenager and choosing to only see the fact he had stopped brawling and getting expelled from school as a positive thing, but not looking closely into the reasons _why_ it had happened. I run my fingers through Christian's hair and he stirs opening his eyes, he looks up at me and smiles.

"Good morning baby, Merry Christmas" he says.

"Merry Christmas to you too" I reply and I lean down and press a small kiss to his lips.

In one swift movement I am pinned underneath him and he is pushing my legs apart with his thigh. I can feel him between us, he is totally rock hard and I giggle. He looks at me with his eyebrows raised in question.

"I love that sound, but why are you giggling?" he asks.

"It's just the speed that you go from fast asleep to Woo hoo!" I say playfully.

"Woo hoo?" he says amusement filling his expression and then glances down at himself. "Yes I suppose you're right" he concedes and then he proceeds to wish me a very Merry Christmas!

_Meanwhile, in the guest suite down the hall..._

**(EVA)**

It's Christmas day and I am lying here fighting a wave of nausea, in the end I give up and go to the en-suite bathroom and heave into the toilet, when I am done I quickly brush my teeth and return to the bedroom, and the empty bed and I sigh as I climb back in.

I find it incredible and very touching that Christian and Ana have designed a bedroom suite specifically for us to stay in. It is basically two bedrooms separated by a bathroom. I run my hand over my stomach, one day I hope to sleep with my husband. He has come so far in such a short amount of time. He has finally admitted his past and is beginning to accept the fact that not one part of it is his fault and he is also beginning to realise he is worth loving.

I lie down in the bed and sigh, this is our first Christmas together and hopefully the first of many. I am astonished how he has not only let me so completely into the solitary world he occupied, but how he has also so willingly accepted Christian and Ana. I smile when I think of the friendship we share and I think back to when I first met Ana, I was crazy jealous of her as she had been the first woman who Gideon had admitted to having any real feelings for, but now I am grateful to her that she awakened that side of him and got him to re-evaluate his life, so he was ready for me and accepted me into it. I am so glad he has Christian as a friend, I know he looks on Christian almost as a brother, which considering his relationship with Christopher is a beautiful thing. They are so alike and have both suffered so much in their pasts its astonishing how well they have turned out despite everything they have gone through.

It's going to be a huge day today, Christian's parents and siblings are coming, and Ana's father and Ireland are flying in as well. Christian and Ana also kindly invited my mom and Stanton but they politely declined as they are spending Christmas in the Caribbean but my dad is going to be here. If I am totally honest I am glad my mother isn't coming I love her dearly and I know she only has my best interests at heart but I do feel suffocated by her at times. Needless to say Ana's mother isn't going to be here today, now there is a piece of work; I still can't get over her attitude when Christian and Ana got married. Carla Adams is one selfish woman. She actually reminds me a lot of Gideon's mother Elizabeth who is another complete piece of work and someone who clearly has not got something important maternally. I'd have my mother and her boatload of neuroses any day of the week, I'm just glad Ana has Grace, but I think she leans on Gail a lot as well.

I take a moment and think of my friend Cary. He has been such a massive part of my life for so long but at last he has his own life now. After his stupidity with Tatiana, things inevitably didn't work out, which was hardly surprising as she was a complete bitch and she just disappeared one day, but that whole experience was a wake-up call for Cary though with the knowledge that he was going to become a father and he got his shit together and turned his life around, he has decided to make a go of things with Trey who is good for him and thankfully Trey forgave him and surprisingly it seems to be working out. He now lives with Trey and they appear to be settled, although I do find it slightly hypocritical after the way he reacted when I told him I had married Gideon and he repeatedly told me it was too soon and everything had happened too quickly. He had been invited to Seattle but had refused stating he wanted a quiet Christmas with Trey and I can't fault that, we both have come a long way from the people we were when we met in therapy.

As I lie here thinking about things, I feel a prickle down my spine and turn to see Gideon appearing and sliding into bed beside me.

"Merry Christmas Angel" he whispers in my ear and kisses me, he places his hand on my stomach and then leans forward and presses a kiss on it, "and merry Christmas to you too" he whispers to my tummy.

I wrap my arms around him, "Merry Christmas Ace" I say and I push suggestively against him.

A huge smile crosses his lips and he lowers himself down on top of me taking his weight on his arms. He runs his hands under my nightshirt and moans as he reaches my breast, I run my hand down the front of him and inside his boxer shorts, he gasps and thrusts himself into my hands, he is so aroused and I tease him running my fingers over the head of his cock he shivers and thrusts into my hand once more and it doesn't take long before we are lost in each other.

_A while later..._

**(ANA)**

"Good morning Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, Merry Christmas," Gail smiles as she turns to look at us.

"Good morning Gail, and Merry Christmas to you too erm, may I ask what you are doing?" Christian asks staring at her as she bustles around the kitchen.

Gail smiles, "Mrs Grey and I are going to be preparing the Christmas dinner together so I came over early to get some of the prep done and well while I was here I thought I might as well start breakfast" she says.

"Gail, apart from your help with dinner, today is your day off, where is Jason?" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"I'm here" comes a voice from inside the pantry and Jason appears with a screwdriver in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Christian asks looking at the screwdriver.

"One of the shelves your brother put up was catching the door a little when it shut so I just moved it slightly". Jason replies.

"I'm sorry sir but it was bugging me," Gail says blushing slightly.

"Don't apologise Gail, you should have said something, and I would have got Elliot in to fix it" Christian says immediately going and inspecting the pantry. "Is anything else not correct?" he adds.

Gail shakes her head, "No sir just that, that's why I didn't like to say anything as it was so small" she says.

I hear voices and Gideon and Eva appear, "Good morning everyone and a very Merry Christmas to you all" Gideon says brightly.

"Indeed" Christian says "and the same to you my friend".

We sit down and enjoy a good breakfast and wait for our guests to arrive. The first to arrive is my dad, he appears with a small bag which I know contains presents for us and I run to embrace him.

"Daddy!" I squeal as I fling my arms around him.

"Merry Christmas Annie, how are you and my grandbaby?" he asks looking at me with such love I feel my breath catch.

"We're fine daddy" I say and kiss him on the cheek.

Christian slowly walks forward and balancing his crutch offers his hand to Ray, "Hello Ray good to see you, and Merry Christmas" he says warmly.

"Hello son, and the same to you and it's good to see you back on your feet" Ray replies accepting Christians hand shake.

Gideon and Eva appear and greet Ray warmly, I think he is a little overwhelmed by Eva's hug but graciously accepts it. Next to arrive is Grace, Carrick and Mia. Grace hugs us all as Carrick struggles in with armfuls of presents. Mia is her usual bubbly self and whirls around the room like a tornado. Elliot and Kate arrive next and I am pleased to see my friend. Elliot picks me up and swings me around in his usual exuberant greeting, Christian glares at him, which he totally ignores.

"Be careful Elliot, remember she is pregnant" Christian growls at him.

"Oh come on little bro lighten up I'm not going to hurt her," Elliot says with a grin and wanders over to Ray and they start discussing carpentry.

Ireland arrives and makes a beeline for Gideon who hugs her tightly, she smiles around at everyone and Christian introduces her to the people she hasn't met before. The final person to arrive is Eva's father, Victor, he walks in and he looks every inch the California cop.

Eva squeals when she sees him and runs to him and he embraces her tightly whispering in her ear. I can see they are very close and Gideon walks over and shakes his hand, and wishes him a Merry Christmas. Christian makes his way over slowly to greet them and Gideon introduces him and I hear Victor thanking him for inviting him.

Christian introduces him to everyone in the room and I notice Victor gravitates towards Ray, and soon from the body language and gestures Ray is making, they are talking fishing, and from Victor's animated body language and odd snippets I am picking up he is talking hunting.

Christian gets everyone's attention and he holds out his hand to me, I don't hesitate and I walk to his side and he wraps his arm around me tightly, I feel a slight tremor in his hands and I realise he is nervous about today. I wrap my arm around him tightly and gently squeeze, offering support and encouragement.

"Don't worry I'm not going to say much, I just want to say thank you all for coming and agreeing to spend Christmas with us and welcome everyone to our new home," he pauses and glances at me lovingly, "This is our first Christmas and I am delighted that you all could be here to share it with us, a special word goes out to Victor and Ireland, Gideon and Eva's family who have also agreed to spend the day with us, and flown in especially, you are more than welcome".

Christian turns to Gideon, "Gideon and Eva mean an awful lot to Ana and I and so it was never in doubt that they would be spending their first Christmas together here with us which also means that their family would also be welcome here. This year has been a one of great change for me, this wonderful woman at my side came into my life and despite my stupidity at the beginning of our relationship, I managed to persuade her to give me another chance, and now she is my wife and we are expecting a baby. Not only that she has brought two people into my life who I consider to be my closest friends - Gideon and Eva, and being with Ana has also given me Ray, the best father in law anyone could wish for. I just want to thank you baby for changing my life and changing me and making me a better man," he leans down and kisses me and I feel tears forming which I try to fight.

"I love you Christian," I whisper to him.

"Ok bro, enough of the sap, or I am going to need a bucket" Elliot calls out and everyone laughs.

"Elliot, behave!" Grace says sharply and I see Christian grin at his older brother getting chastised.

"Ok shall we turn our attention to the gifts" I say looking at the huge mountain of presents under the tree, which is a slightly smaller one than the one in the hallway. Mia squeals and claps her hands and Ireland's eyes also light up. I see Victor and Ray look a little uncomfortable, I leave Christian's side and walk over to Eva and whisper in her ear.

"I think my dad and Victor are feeling a little overwhelmed by all this" I say.

"Yeah, come on let's go and reassure them" she says.

We walk over and sit with our fathers, Eva links her arm in Victors and kisses his cheek and I do the same for Ray.

I see Gideon and Christian look at each other and something passes between them, I wonder what they are planning and I know it's something they haven't discussed with us as they both give us a glance as they talk. Eventually Christian speaks.

"Erm, ok then, first of all Gideon and I have something to say, Ray, Victor, Gideon and I weren't sure what to get you, I mean you both have given us your the most precious thing in the world in the shape of our wives and we could never think of anything which could adequately show our appreciation of your acceptance of us in your daughter's lives, so we got our heads together and we decided that we would like to get together and give you a hunting and fishing weekend in Aspen at a time of your choice, but we were also hoping that we could join you, so we will organise the logistics and timing at a later date. I know Gideon and Victor are keen on hunting whereas Ray and I are more into fishing but I believe a men's weekend incorporating both activities would be enjoyable for us all".

He stops and looks anxiously at Ray and Victor who are sitting with their mouths open, but before they can respond, Gideon speaks.

"We have also bought you some new equipment, fishing for Ray and hunting for Victor, they are from both of us, as we felt it was the best way to do it".

I watch as Gideon steps forward and he hands over a box to Victor and then he turns to help Christian who is awkwardly handing a box to Ray and they both look nervously at the two older men waiting for their reaction.

Victor is the first one to speak, "I won't lie when I say I was worried when you swept up my little girl, and I'm sure Ray will understand what I am about to say, you two are very erm... wealthy and that can be a little intimidating but I am grateful for the way you – Gideon, have shown me the respect I deserve as Eva's father and I will say that I am slowing warming to you and I think this weekend would be a really good idea for me to get to know you better". I see Ray nod in agreement and he takes his turn to speak.

"My Annie is the most important person in my life, and I can relate to everything Victor has just said, I have been lucky to be able to get to know you Christian a little more than perhaps Victor has with Gideon, but hell, I'm not about to turn down a weekend of fishing and hunting!"

Everyone laughs and Victor and Ray thank Gideon and Christian for their kind gifts. Eva and I stare at our husbands with love and pride at the very thoughtful and appropriate gifts. We can tell they put a lot of thought and effort into them so that the two men didn't feel like the poor relations. I look around and I notice that Jason has vanished, he and Gail were supposed to be here as guests today and not on duty.

The present opening continues and Ray is overwhelmed at Elliot's gift of a contract for Ray to be sub contracted to Grey Construction for carpentry work. He still retains his independence but also has the security of knowing that when he doesn't have any commission work he will have the chance of other work available. We are all in high spirits when suddenly Taylor reappears and coughs discreetly.

We all turn and Christian raises his eyebrows in question.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but Mrs Adams is at the gate".

My mother is here! Shit after our last meeting this is the last thing I want, I shake my head furiously tears appearing. Ray immediately stands and grasps me by the shoulders.

"Hold it together Annie, if you don't want her here she won't be allowed in, she can't get in and hurt you if you don't want her here" he says.

Christian holds out his hand to me and I move to his side and he wraps his arm around me, "Why is she here? For years I have wanted her in my life and she has constantly let me down, now I have moved on she turns up uninvited, why does she do this?" I ask as I look up at him.

"Annie do you want her here?" Ray asks again.

I shake my head "No" I say.

"Ok, in which case Christian and I will go and tell her to sling her hook," he says he turns to Christian, "ready son?" he asks.

"I am Ray" he replies firmly and with that he releases me.

I watch as the two most important men in my life slowly leave the room with Jason. Eva and Grace come over and envelope me in love and comfort.

"Ok sorry about that everyone, shall we continue" I say brightly as I plaster a big fake smile on my face.

The atmosphere in the room has plummeted I am shaking as I watch Christian and Ray leave to meet Carla. I start to worry about Christian walking to the gatehouse as it is a fair way away and he doesn't have his body brace on. But I am distracted by Grace who has immediately wrapped me in her arms and is rocking me gently. Eva and Kate are beside me and whispering reassuring things to me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Gail handing me a mug of tea, she smiles and it's my undoing I take the mug from her and hand it to Eva and fling my arms around Gail and sob. She holds me.

"Shush Ana, its ok, Mr Grey and Mr Steele will handle it, if you don't want to see her nobody here will make you" she says gently.

I nod and pull away, I look around the room, everyone is staring and there is an eerie silence. I pull myself together quickly.

"I'm sorry about that" I say and I smile at everyone, this time a weak but genuine one. I see Victor and Ireland watching silently and I feel the need to apologise to them, as I'm sure they were not expecting this when they agreed to spend Christmas with us.

Gideon walks over and holds out his arms to me, I walk into them and he comforts me gently rocking me from side to side.

"Don't you dare apologise" Kate says fiercely, "How that woman has the nerve to turn up here after what she has done..." she trails off and shakes her head.

"She's right Ana, and if she thinks she's getting to you against your will she has to get through every single person in this room not to mention Ray and Christian" Gideon says.

I smile as I see everyone nodding at Gideon's words, I feel loved and protected and its lovely feeling, these people my friends, the family I have married into and my stepfather these are all people who I am not related to by blood but who are standing with me and prepared to protect me from the only person in my life who I am related to and who has continually hurt me, the irony of this fact is not lost on me.

I haven't heard from my mother since that day at Jose's house, I have been in touch with Bob over the past few months, when he had heard about Christian's accident he had called me asked how Christian was and offered his sympathy and said if he could do anything he would fly out and help, which had touched me greatly. He had also been in touch recently and sent Christian and I a Christmas card and he had called to tell me that he was now officially divorced from my mother. I had assured him that I would like to stay in touch with him as a friend and he had said he would like that. As I am thinking about him I hear my phone buzzing. I glance around and see it on the table, Gideon who is closest picks it up and hands it to me. I look at it and see it is Christian. I take a deep breath and answer.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask.

I hear heavy breathing and I realise that he has probably overdone it walking all the way to the gatehouse.

"Baby, I know you don't want to speak to her, but your mother doesn't believe it and she says that she won't leave until she has spoken to you, you are on speaker baby, so whatever you say she will hear and she will know we are not forcing you to say something you don't want to" he says.

"Never mind about her Christian are you alright, you sound in pain?" I ask.

I hear a small chuckle, "I'm fine baby it was just a bit further than I thought to the gatehouse" he says.

"I'm coming to get you" I say, "Make sure she is gone by the time I get there" I add.

"So you don't want to speak to your mother?" he asks.

"No, I don't want to speak to her, I don't want to see her and I don't want her in my life, I made that clear the last time we spoke when she was shacked up with Jose" I spit, the venom dripping from my words.

"Ana, how can you do this to me?" I hear my mother wail.

I freeze at the sound of my mother's voice, I look around the room and at that moment I know I have to face her or she won't go and will succeed in spoiling our Christmas, I know I have to cut the tie to her once and for all so I look around at everyone and I find Gideon.

"I'm going to go out and I'm going speak to her, would you mind... will you come with me?" I ask him hesitantly.

The reaction is immediate and I am shocked when not only Gideon agrees, but as one, everyone who is sitting stands and those who are standing step forward, Gail grips my hand.

"I'd like to come as well Ana if that's ok?" she asks carefully.

I smile and I nod, I turn my attention back to my phone, "I am coming out Christian, keep her there" I say.

"Ok baby, whatever you want" he says.

I hang up and I quickly run to our room and grab Christian's body brace and then I make my way out to the gatehouse. Taylor looks up and smirks as he sees the crowd of people walking towards him. he nudges Christian who turns and beams at me and my posse. I see him whisper in Ray's ear and he turns and walks towards me holding out his arms to me. I walk into them, and he hugs me tightly

"Are you sure you want to do this Annie?" he asks.

I nod, "I need to, I want her out of my life" I say. Ray nods and grasps my hand leading me forward. Christian doesn't move and I notice immediately he is leaning heavily on his crutches and he has beads of sweat on his forehead and he is trembling slightly, he looks to be in quite a bit of pain, I immediately walk towards him and ignoring my mother completely I wrap my arm around him.

"For god's sake Christian, you've completely overdone it " I say and I put his body brace down at the side of him.

"As I said, the walk to the gatehouse was a little further than I anticipated" he says.

I look around, there doesn't appear to be any chairs in here, I turn to Jason, "Jason can you find Christian something to sit down on" I demand.

He nods and quickly disappears into another room, he returns with a stool and an apologetic expression on his face.

"This is the best I could do" he says.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian says and carefully with my assistance lowers himself on to the stool.

"Are you sure you are ok?" I ask and he nods at me, "make sure you put your brace on before we go back" I say and he nods again.

I reach for his hand and I grip it tightly as I finally focus my attention on my mother who is staring at us in silence. As my gaze falls on her, I feel the crowd of people around me move forwards almost as if they are providing a protective wall around me.

"What do you want?" I ask icily.

"Ana, please, I'm your mother, its Christmas day" she whines.

I shake my head and snort derisively.

"Since when has that bothered you? I can think of many Christmases where I would have loved to have seen you, but you were too busy with your own life," I say.

She stares at me, her mouth hanging open, but before she can say another word, I speak again.

"You systematically neglected me emotionally my whole life, you were never any kind of mother and I forgave you time after time, desperate for some sort of relationship with you, and time after time you let me down, do you see these people?" I say gesturing around me.

"Not one person here is related to me by blood but they have all been there for me, and they all unconditionally love me and want what's best for me".

I release Christian hand, I am getting warmed up now and Christian can sense it, and he releases me but watches me carefully.

I put my hand on his shoulder as I continue, "My husband was in an accident and for a time, he was unable to walk and for a time we didn't know if he would regain that ability, I got a call from Bob – do you remember Bob? As soon as he heard about it, he called out of concern for my husband and he offered to help in any way he could and yet he doesn't even know Christian, and has never met him but he offered me his support and kindness nonetheless".

I pull Gideon and Eva forward, "this is Gideon and Eva, these two people dropped everything to be by my side after the accident and they continue to support us. In fact everyone in this room rallied and offered help and support throughout what was a complete nightmare. Everyone except one person and that person was you, you didn't even bother to pick up the damn phone to see how I was doing, or to ask how Christian was".

I move towards Grace and Gail and pull them both forward, "Do you see these two women? This is Gail and Grace, Grace is definition of a good mother. Not one of her children are related to her by blood but she is their mother and nobody could or would dare to ever question otherwise, and since I have been with Christian she has welcomed me and treated me like another daughter and this lady…" I grasp Gail's hand and smile at her, "this lady to you is the hired help, the billionaire's servant, but to me she is another surrogate mother, since I came into Christian's life she has advised me, helped me, comforted me and supported me and I know without question that if I called either Gail or Grace needing help they would be by my side as soon as humanly possible".

I pause again, and take a deep breath, "I know without any question my husband would do anything for me, I know my friends and extended family would do anything for me and finally there is Ray, who is not just my stepfather. He is, always has been and always will be my daddy. He took me on when he didn't have to, he has stood by my side and raised me to be the person I am today, he is my parent, he is my rock, and he is my daddy".

I stop and point to Taylor, "This man here protects me and my husband, he would take a bullet for us, he keeps us safe but I look on him as something much more than our security. Jason Taylor has assumed the role of a favourite uncle to me, to you he is security – the goon squad, paid help and someone to insult and scream at when he won't let you have your own way but to me he is family, my family. All these people are my family because they have earned that place and that right not through any blood link or legal ceremony but by their actions - the way they are there for me and by the way that I know that I can rely on them".

I stop speaking for a moment and then turn a derisive look at my mother, "Then there is you Carla, you are the only person here who is related to me by blood, you gave birth to me but that is where the connection ends. I have never been able to rely on you for anything, as a child it was Ray who raised me, Ray who attended school plays, parent's evenings and graduations, it was Ray who picked up the pieces when that man..."

I stop unable to say the words, Ray immediately wraps his arm around me and Christian struggles to his feet and also puts his arm around me so I am cocooned by them both and I feel Gideon step closer behind me and place his hand on my shoulder, I shake my head. The warmth of the three men surrounding me giving me the strength to continue, I clear my throat and look her in the eye.

"I put myself through college, you were invited numerous times to come and visit but you didn't come once. I was ill with appendicitis and nearly died when my appendix burst and Kate called you but you didn't care, you didn't even call once to see how I was or to find out if I were alive or dead. Kate also called Ray when that happened and he dropped everything and drove to be with me. I had to call you and tell you I was ok and out of hospital after I was discharged". I hear Grace gasp at this.

"You said you were pleased when I lost my baby and you refused to come to my wedding despite being begged to attend by practically every person in this room, what was it you said – 'I am Christian's problem now'. You turned up at the trial but only because you were ordered to by the court to give evidence, and what did you do, you ended up flirting at Morton. It was sickening, and then you got your claws into my friend and told him lies about my husband which made him do stupid and obsessive things. You are the only person in this room who is related to me by blood and I am ashamed of that fact, because you are the only one in this room who has systematically and continually hurt me, all you have done my entire life is hurt me, well no more Carla. I want nothing to do with you anymore, you are _not_ my family I have my family right here" I wave my hand around me.

"You didn't want me; I was your _mistake_ as you never failed once to tell me, now I don't want you. Please leave Carla and never contact me again" I turn to leave and stop, I turn back to her, "If you don't do as I ask I will ask my father in law to pursue legal means to keep you away" I add coldly and I glance at Carrick who smiles and nods at me.

I hear Carla gasp, "Ana please" she says

"Goodbye Carla" I say and I watch as Taylor escorts her from the property. I turn my attention to Christian, who with some help from Gideon is now in his brace.

"Are you ok walking back up to the house?" I ask and he nods and smiles at me.

Moments later Taylor joins us, "She's gone but she asked me to give you this" he holds a small package in his hand wrapped in Christmas paper. I shake my head.

"I don't want it" I say firmly. I see Christian quietly take it from Taylor and slip it into his pocket.

When we eventually get back to the house Gail goes and prepares some drinks and I go into the kitchen with her, I check the dinner which is cooking nicely and Gail smiles at me.

"Thank you for what you said about me Ana, I didn't realise I meant that much to you" she says.

I walk over to her and hug her, "Gail I meant every word" I say firmly. "The dinner is cooking nicely come and join in, today is your day off and you are a guest as well" I say as I take the tray from her.

We return to the great room and everyone turns and surges towards the tray of drinks.

"Ok shall we return to the presents?" I say brightly.


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER 44

**(GIDEON)**

"Ok shall we return to the presents?" Ana's says.

She has plastered a huge bright grin on her face and she is desperately trying to pretend the events of the past few moments haven't happened. I watch as everyone gathers around and helps her do just this.

I wonder what her mother has bought her, I saw Carla give the gift to Taylor and he tried to give it to Ana but she refused it but then Christian took it and put it in his pocket. I don't think he should push it if she doesn't want to open it .

My attention is drawn to Eva who is squealing in delight at the gift for us from Christian and Ana, because we postponed our wedding here at the house but still married, Christian decided to send us away on holiday, with an open ended visit to anywhere in the world on him and Ana, it's a lovely gesture and something I could easily have done myself but the fact our friends have done this for both of us has touched me greatly and he has assured me that when we decide to do the public wedding this beautiful house and grounds is at our disposal.

They bought Kate and Mia jewellery from Cartier and he got Elliot a VIP box to all the mariners' games for the season. There was a gasp of shock when he handed Carrick and Grace their present, they frowned at the plain white envelope and Carrick opened it to reveal a photograph of a beautiful sailing boat and a set of keys and his face had lit up as brightly as the Christmas tree in the corner.

"That will be at your boathouse when you return home" Christian says with a grin, as Carrick is practically drooling over the photograph.

"Just look at that Grace" he keeps saying, pointing at the picture.

Grace is crying and hugs Christian and Ana tightly thanking them profusely.

Next Christian hands a small box to Taylor and gives an apologetic smile to Gail who immediately glares at him as Taylor's face breaks into a huge grin.

"Thank you so much sir, how did you know?" he says he holds up something like an engine part and stares at it almost reverently. Christian raises his eyebrows at him and he laughs.

"What is it?" Eva asks as she stares blankly at the hunk of metal that Taylor is currently cradling like a baby.

Taylor glances at her, "I am restoring and rebuilding a classic motorcycle in my spare time and I needed a specific part and I was unable to get one anywhere and I was beginning to think I would have to make one from scratch, but this is the part I needed and now I have it, thank you so much sir, Mrs Grey" Taylor says, then he glances at Gail and kisses her and she smiles reluctantly and Christian stands and hands over a box to Gail, she takes it and thanks him politely.

Ana grins as she opens it and gasps, inside is a Gucci handbag, "I saw you looking at it when we went to Nieman's I could see you liked it so I got it for you" Ana says with a shrug.

Gail walks forward and hugs Ana tightly thanking her. It's an emotional moment, the bond between these two women is clear to see. Eva brings the presents we bought for everyone, Christian and I decided that the joint effort for the two fathers in law was the best idea as they wouldn't appreciate anything too extravagant, which just left everyone else. Eva has got Kate and Mia an all expenses paid spa day which by the looks on their faces and the loud exclamations they are totally thrilled about.

Christian told me that Elliot needed some kind of building equipment, I have no idea what it is and what it is for, but Christian was adamant that if I got this for Elliot he would be overjoyed. So I did and as I hand the box over he opens it, his eyes bulge and his jaw drops and then he turns to me and shaking my hand he repeatedly thanks me.

I then gave Grace and Carrick their gift, which is an all expenses paid visit to New York including a visit to a Broadway show of their choice. Christian told me it was their 40th wedding anniversary coming up in the New Year so we decided that this would be an appropriate gift. I have bought Ireland a car and I presented her with the key telling her the car is waiting for her back home in New York, this had prompted her to fling herself at me and kiss me repeatedly, and that then prompted Christian and Ana to give her their gift, which is a box of top of the range car accessories. We gave Gail and Jason a gift certificate for Nieman's and I am shocked when Gail stands and gives me a gift. She is grinning as she hands me an envelope. I thank her as I take it wondering what on earth she has got me, I open it to reveal a small photograph of a dish of one of Gail's wonderful lasagne and I frown in confusion.

Gail's grin gets even wider at my obvious confusion, "That lasagne along with four more are in my freezer for you to take back to your apartment when you leave" she explains. I feel a grin explode across my face and I hug Gail tightly and kiss her cheek as she laughs.

"That is the best gift ever" I exclaim and everyone laughs.

What they don't realise is I am totally sincere, compared to the other gifts being given today, this one has the least monetary value but Gail went to the trouble to actually make something... something for me, something which I love and that means more to me than anything.

Eventually all the gifts are opened and Mia suddenly looks up, "Hey Christian what did you get Ana, and Gideon what did you get Eva?" she says.

I look at Christian and he nods and struggling to his feet he glances at Carrick who pulls an envelope out of his pocket and he hands it to his son. I walk over and stand beside him and Carrick hands a similar envelope to me.

"Ana" Christian says.

"Eva" I say.

We look at each other and I gesture for Christian to explain. He takes a deep breath and for the first time I see anxiety in his eyes.

"You gave up a promising career you adored at Cross Publishing for me, to take care of me after my accident and I know how much you loved that job and I wanted to make things right" he pauses and glances at me, as I take a deep breath and speak.

"Eva, you have also left a job you loved to come and stand beside me and work with me at Cross Industries," I say.

Christian steps forward and offers the envelope to Ana she takes it and opens it, she gasps and her eyes fly up to meet Christian's.

"Christian! This is too much" she says in shock.

"It's all yours baby, you can be the editor and do the job you have always wanted to do, but although its part of Grey Enterprise Holdings – it's your name on the company deeds, you own Grey Publishing – formerly known as SIP, baby" he says with a grin.

"You are so over the top" Ana whispers and I grin as I see Christian just shrug.

At least he doesn't deny it, but he does look worried as Ana just stands frozen and stares at the paperwork which Carrick has prepared. Then she steps forward and flings her arms around Christian and I see him sag with relief so I think he was expecting it to go either way.

Now it's my turn, and I offer Eva the contract which my attorneys had prepared and I had given Carrick to hold until today.

Eva opens it and she gasps, I have given her a senior managerial position in my Advertising & PR Department at Cross Industries and I have made her joint CEO of Cross Industries, in my absence she has the authority to run my company, she stares at the paperwork.

"Gideon, I... I..." she says shaking her head.

"You can Angel, you can do this" I say gently, I intend to mentor her so she feels totally comfortable with this responsibility.

"I can't run Cross Industries" she squeaks.

"You can Angel because I will help you, you won't be left to do anything you feel unsure of but we are a team, you are my wife and I love you, the Cross in Cross industries refers to both of us" I say.

Eva thinks for a moment and then grins, "Ok" she says and wraps her arms around me. "Thank you" she whispers in my ear.

As everyone gets over the surprised shock of what Christian and I have done, Mia suddenly realises that Ana and Eva haven't given us anything, and announces the fact loudly.

Ana clears her throat and glances at Eva who nods. They both blush furiously I look at Christian who is immediately intrigued.

"Well... Eva and I had a little problem when it came to getting a Christmas gift for our husbands, I mean what do you get men who own everything and who have the resources to get what they want with a snap of their fingers" she says holding up her hands in a gesture of questioning.

Eva takes over at this point and continues with the explanation. "So Ana and I put our heads together and realised we had already given our husbands a very special gift, we are both carrying their babies, sooo..." she pauses and glances at Ana they both look a little bit worried and I wonder what they have done.

I look at Christian and go and stand with him, if anyone is going to over react it will be him, if I don't approve I will control my emotions until we are in private.

"What have our wives been planning Christian?" I ask to try and add a little levity to the situation, as Christian looks at me clearly agitated I implore him with my eyes not to over react.

He smiles and turns to Ana, "Baby what have you been doing?" he asks quietly.

Eva pulls an envelope from her pocket and Ana does the same and they hand them over to us at the same time. We open them and we both gasp in unison as we turn to look at each other.

They have booked photographic sessions with a female photographer to take nude photographs of them at various points throughout their pregnancies, they have all the relevant paperwork and signed NDA's to pacify our over protective and jealous natures and they have arranged for the final shoot to include us and then after they have given birth a final sitting to have a family portrait done.

I am speechless and I can see Christian is as well, Eva and Ana are looking at us anxiously for some sort of reaction and we provide them with the reaction they are hoping for as we simultaneously envelope our wives in our arms and kiss them.

We realise everyone is still waiting to know and I clear my throat, "Erm Ana and Eva have arranged for a photographer to take some family portraits" I say and leave it at that.

Christian nods and I hear him whisper thank you into Ana's ear. Both Ana and Eva relax and I know they were seriously worried about our reactions and my guess is they would have given us our gifts in private had Mia not said anything.

After a superb dinner and a quiet afternoon chatting and playing silly games people start to leave. Carrick is itching to get home to see the yacht which Christian has bought him and Grace and Mia leave with him. Elliot and Kate are the next ones to leave, and then Jason and Gail head out to their quarters.

Eventually it is just the four of us, along with Ireland, Ray and Victor. Ray and Victor have hit it off and spent most of the day discussing fishing, and weapons. They are animated and appear to be having the time of their lives and they are in their own little world talking. Both Ana and Eva have fallen asleep, which just leaves me, Christian and Ireland.

I hear a phone ringing and see Ireland answer it she glances at me and holds out the phone.

"Gideon it's mom, she wants to wish you a merry Christmas" she says clearly uncomfortable, I am furious I don't want Ireland being put in the middle of our estrangement. I sigh and take the phone from her.

"Mother" I say sharply, I hear her gasp as I'm sure she wasn't expecting me to take her call.

"Gideon, darling I just called to wish you a merry Christmas" she says.

"Thank you, but I won't have you using Ireland to get to me; if you want me you call me on my phone in future".

I hang up before she can say another word and hand Ireland her phone back. I see her smirk as she takes it.

Eva and Ana awaken and Ana apologises for sleeping, Christian rests his hand on her stomach and tells her that it's all fine.

"When are you going to announce the pregnancy?" Ireland asks suddenly, I see Ray and Victor look up at the question clearly interested to find out the answer.

I glance at Christian, and he shrugs. "We were thinking of announcing it simultaneously and then stand back and watch the media go into meltdown" I say.

Ray and Victor both laugh at this plan, "We are going to wait until Ana reaches 12 weeks which will be towards the end January I think?" I look at Ana for confirmation and I see her quickly doing a count. She nods.

"Roughly" she says.

After a hugely enjoyable day Eva and I reluctantly go to leave, Christian offers to put us all up for the night but I want to get my wife back to our apartment and have my way with her. Ray has gone to bed and I can see Victor is getting drowsy and he has to fly back to California tomorrow. We stand to leave and I realise that today I have really enjoyed myself, I have been surrounded by my friends and family and I loved every moment of it I look at Christian.

"It's not too bad is it?" I say to him.

"What?" he asks.

"This being happy, being with people who love you and who you love and... just belonging" I say. I feel Eva squeeze me tightly and I pull her closer.

"No, I think I could just about cope doing it again" he replies with a grin.

Ana slaps him and he laughs pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "No, it's been a good day" he says seriously.

We both look at our wives the two women who have brought so much into our lives and given us both a life worth living.

**(ANA)**

It's been a lovely day and finally Eva, Gideon and Eva's father are leaving, Victor shakes Christian's hand and thanks him for inviting him, and then he goes outside and waits in the car while Gideon and Eva say goodbye. I move out of Christian's hold and hug Eva tightly. I am pleased and relieved that our husbands were happy with the gift that we have arranged. Gideon kisses my cheek and wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you for today, I really enjoyed myself" he whispers in my ear. I know he is a little overwhelmed by today, he has just said as much to Christian, so I pat his cheek and grin at him.

"You are very welcome" I say, Christian walks towards us and pulls me gently from Gideon's arms.

"Gideon, will you stop fondling my wife, and go and fondle your own" he says waving him away from me.

We both laugh and then Gideon and Christian embrace slapping each other on the back.

"Oh come on! Enough of the bromance guys!" Eva says as she turns and sees them.

**oooOOOooo**

I am standing in our great room which seems unnaturally quiet and empty now everyone has gone. Ray has gone to bed and Gail and Jason are spending some alone time in their own apartment. Jason was disappointed not to have Sophie for Christmas this year but her mother has agreed to allow her to stay for New Year, which both Jason and Gail are looking forward to. Christian is on the phone in his study, he is talking to Carrick who has called and is waxing lyrical about the yacht, I wander around the great room and I spot an unopened gift sitting on the table I walk over wondering why it got left and then I see it is the gift my mother gave Jason to give me. I pick it up and look at it and I go cold. I put it back down again and just stare at it.

"Why don't you open it baby?"

I turn and see Christian watching me from the doorway, he is leaning against the doorframe, I notice immediately he has removed his brace and his crutches are leaning against the wall at the side of him. He has changed out of his jeans into a pair of comfortable sweats and an old t shirt but he still looks as hot as always.

I shake my head, "I want nothing to do with her, I have made that crystal clear and I can't understand why she gave this to Jason" I say.

"Because despite everything she does to hurt you, there is possibly a small part of her which loves you" Christian says carefully.

I snort derisively "I don't think so; she never loved me not really. I was just an annoyance who got in her way and who ruined her life".

I stop as Christian pushes away from the doorframe and grasping his crutches he makes his way slowly across the room towards me.

"Ana, please don't speak like that, your mother made those decisions, she was the one who got herself pregnant with the help of your father of course and she was the one who decided to go through with the pregnancy and had you - which incidentally I am incredibly grateful she did, they were her life choices Ana you didn't have any say in the matter. You didn't ask to be born any more than I did. I didn't ask to have a mother who was a crack whore, who allowed Tony fucking Garrett to abuse me and I see that now and you have helped me see it and now I am trying to get you to accept it as well".

I rest my head on his chest and he plants a small kiss in my hair and then buries his nose into my hair. I glance at the gift again and then I look up at him.

"Will you open it?" I ask him.

"Do you want me to?" he asks, looking at me in surprise.

I think for a moment, "yes, I do because I trust you to protect me from her so if it's something which is going to upset me I trust you to take it away and not let me see it, but I trust your judgement and if you think it's ok then..." I stop and shrug.

"Ana, why don't we open it together?" he says picking it up and handing it to me.

I take it from him and we sit down on the sofa. He sits beside me and wraps his arm around me securing me to his side as I turn it over in my hand. My hands are shaking and don't like the way this is making me feel, I have made the decision to be finished with her and this is just dredging up things again.

"Annie whatever is in there, remember that she can't hurt you ever again" I look up and see Ray is standing in front of me.

"I thought you had gone to bed?" I say in surprise.

He shrugs, "I just woke up, maybe I just needed a drink or maybe my subconscious knew my baby girl needed me" he says with a smile and comes and sits down on my other side as I decide to open it.

I fumble with the paper and unwrap it. It's a small box and I open it to reveal a smaller box inside I pause for a moment and then I take it out, it's a jewellery box I frown at it and open it to reveal a small ring, it's a gold ring with a small flower design on it and in the centre is a small stone, it looks quite old, I stare at it in confusion and a creeping sense of deja vous, it seems vaguely familiar but I can't think where from. I look up at Christian who shrugs. I turn to Ray who is staring at it with recognition and fury in his eyes. I worry when I see the look on his face, which rapidly turns into panic as I see his fists clench.

"Dad what is it?" I ask, but Ray shakes his head, I can see he doesn't want tell me, I feel Christian stiffen and I know he is now worried as well.

"Tell me" I demand staring at my father intently. He sighs and looks at me apologetically, but I still see the latent fury in his eyes.

"It's the ring Morton gave her when she ran off with him" he says tightly.

"No" I gasp and I drop it on the floor as if it has burnt me, the suppressed memories flooding my mind, the memories of her wearing it. "How could she?" I say, tears start to fall and Christian immediately pulls me into his lap and holds me tightly.

"Daddy please get rid of it" I beg.

Ray nods and silently reaches down and picks it up he then stands and walks away depositing it in the trash when this is done he returns to us and strokes my arm and grasps my hand.

"I'm so sorry Ana" Christian keeps repeating to me, he is whispering it in my ear and I know he feels bad about persuading me to open it.

"It's not your fault Christian, you wanted to believe she had a modicum of goodness inside her" I say and touch his cheek then I turn to Ray, "Why?" I ask.

Ray sighs, he rubs his eyes with his fingers restlessly.

"She knew full well that she wasn't getting in here today, not after the way you previously parted, and then when you said what you did to her and she knew without a doubt that your relationship was irrevocably destroyed, so she obviously decided to try and have the final say one way or another, she just wanted to hurt you Ana. She would have found some way to pass that ring on for you if you had gone out to her today or not. What she wanted was to be the centre of attention even if she wasn't here. She was hoping you would open it in front of everyone, and she knew I would recognise it even if you didn't, she just wanted to try and destroy your first Christmas with everyone, and so basically it was an act of revenge. She was having a shit Christmas and she wanted you to feel the same way".

Christian shakes his head, and looks furious that she had duped him into thinking she was doing something nice.

"Would Carrick put in place some sort of legal work to stop her from contacting me again?" I ask looking hopefully at Christian.

"I'm not sure baby, we can ask him, and he can see what he can come up with for you if it makes you feel any better" he says.

I nod at him and snuggle further into his chest, he responds by gripping me tighter.

"Annie, are you ok? I am going to go back to bed now" Ray says.

I ease away from Christian and hug my father tightly. "Thank you dad" I say.

"I'll always be here for you Annie" he says quietly, before he pulls away and leaves Christian and me alone.

"I can't believe she did that" I say to Christian as he holds me silently.

"I know it was cruel" he says coldly. I can tell by the tone of his voice he is controlling his emotions tightly. He is furious about what Carla has done to me once again. I also know he will do everything within his considerable power to prevent her getting anywhere near me again and will use every resource he has to make sure she doesn't hurt me again.

I touch my stomach "You know I could never treat my own child as badly as Carla has treated me all my life" I say quietly.

Christian squeezes me gently and places his hand on top of mine.

"I know baby and that is because you are a beautiful person, you are selfless, kind, loving and giving, all qualities which Carla wouldn't know if they hit her in the face. You are the person you are because of Ray's influence in your life, please don't dwell on this baby because you don't need her, you have cut her from your life; you have so much now you don't need her and she knows this. You have Ray, you have my mother who adores you and who is more than delighted to fill the position of mother figure for you and be there to provide maternal support to you, and I know you are close to Gail as well, who you look upon as a maternal figure and although I wasn't comfortable with that at the start I accept it now, then you have Elliot and Mia who both love you and have taken you into their lives and hearts as their new sister, you have Kate".

I see his expression change slightly as he says Kate's name and I smile.

"She is protective towards you and a good friend to you, and don't forget you have Gideon and Eva who are the best friends anyone could have in their corner. You have an abundance of support, friends and family who are willing to stand beside you and support you and you even have Bob, who although not close to you, still keeps in touch with you and thinks of you affectionately – what does Carla have? Nothing, that's what, she doesn't even have Bob anymore through her own stupidity".

He stops and pushes my hair away from my face as he stares intently into my eyes.

"You forgot the one person who means the most to me in the whole world" I say quietly.

"Who?" he asks.

"You, you doughnut!" I say with a grin and wrap my arms around his neck.

He laughs and returns my hug. I feel him start to get hard between us and I glance down at the protruding bulge in his sweats.

He looks embarrassed, "Ignore it baby, it will go away eventually" he says.

I push my hand down the front of his sweats and grasp his hot hard cock and run my fingers over the head. I smile as he takes in a sharp breath and his eyes heat.

"What if I don't want to ignore it?" I whisper in his ear.

His reaction to that is immediate and his hands are all over me. He touches me reverently and sweetly, showing me how much he loves me, then he slowly undresses me and then himself, and starts planting sweet kisses all down my body. He takes my breast in his mouth and sucks gently. I groan and pull him closer as he continues his journey south I shiver and before I can stop I release a small sob, he freezes and stops immediately.

"Baby, what is it? If you don't want to just say and I'll just hold you" he says the concern in his voice and in his eyes is overwhelming, before I can stop it a tear trickles down my cheek. I shake my head, I need to explain myself and quickly.

"No, I'm just overwhelmed, the way you touch me like you worship me, and the way I can feel your love, I have never felt so cherished, needed and wanted in my life and this..." I gesture to my tearstained face, "this is happiness" I say.

Christian smiles his sweet shy smile and pulls me into his arms and kisses me softly as he gently eases himself into me. I gasp at the feel of him, slowly entering me, and then he starts to move, not fast, he sets a slow and steady pace, he is making sweet love to me to show me how much I mean to him in every way.

I gasp at each thrust and meet his moves with my hips, and I grip his hair in my hands pulling him closer to me, as he pulls me closer I wrap my arms around his buttocks and urge him deeper, he moans and thrusts harder and deeper, still maintaining the slow sensuous pace.

"You are my everything Ana" he whispers in my ear and the words wash over me making me forget everything else.

I slowly start to feel myself building, towards my orgasm and Christian feels it too and he carefully picks up the pace a little, not much but enough to trigger the familiar shuddering and warmth deep inside me, I know he is close and has been controlling himself until I was close so we could climax together.

"Come for me Ana, give it to me" he whispers and just like that his words cause me to lose my control and I come.

I grip him tightly and after a couple more thrusts he stills and I feel him empty himself deep inside me. He doesn't pull out immediately but lies on top of me holding me close still planting sweet kisses in my hair, I hold him tightly and press small kisses on the scars on this chest and I feel him shiver and moan, neither of us wants to break this moment or the contact and intimacy we have just experienced. What we have just done has been one of the most beautiful moments we have ever shared.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

"Good morning Gail," I walk into the kitchen where Gail is busy making some coffee.

"Good morning Ana," she answers turning towards me with a huge smile on her face.

She pauses and looks at me carefully.

"Erm I found a box with a ring in it in the trash when I was emptying it this morning, I wasn't sure what to do, so I left it on the side?"

She points to the ring box over on the work surface.

I sit down at the table, "it was meant to be there, that was my Christmas gift from my darling mother," I say sarcastically.

Gail looks confused, she too is automatically thinking that my mother was being nice so I enlighten her about the events of last night.

"I found the unopened gift after everyone had gone last night and Christian persuaded me to open it, his theory that she trying to be nice was compelling enough for me to once again give her the benefit of the doubt. My father was also with me when I opened it and it turned out not to be a nice gesture at all, it was just a careful plan to try and ruin my first Christmas with Christian".

I pause as I think about what I am about to say, "That ring she gave me, was the ring which Stephen Morton gave her when she left my father, she knew that even if I didn't remember it or recognise it that Ray would, it was a calculated plan to try and upset me and ruin my Christmas by making me remember… that man".

I stop, the pain I am feeling making my throat tighten. Gail gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.

"Oh Ana that is just cruel" she says, she immediately comes towards me with her arms open and I stand and walk into them.

"Yes I know, that is why it is in the trash, because I asked Ray to put it there and I just want to forget it ever came and pretend that my mother doesn't exist" I say.

Gail pulls away from me and I know she is going to return the ring to the trash.

As I am sitting drinking my tea, Christian appears and balancing on his crutches he carefully pours himself a coffee, he presses a kiss to my head and sits down beside me.

"Good morning baby, what would you like to do today?" he asks.

I shrug as I take a gulp of tea. Christian looks at me and frowns.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks.

"Nothing" I reply, "Gail found the ring when she was emptying the trash and she asked me about it and ..." I stop and shake my head.

Christian immediately stands putting his coffee down and pulls me to my feet and he wraps me in his arms. I stand soaking him in and I immediately feel better.

"Oh good morning Sir, what would you like for breakfast?" Gail has reappeared and is bustling around the kitchen.

"Good morning Gail, I'd like an omelette please" Christian replies politely.

"Certainly sir, what about you Mrs Grey?" she adds. It doesn't escape me that when Christian is around Gail calls me Mrs Grey but when we are alone I am Ana, I want this to stop.

"Gail, Christian is happy for you to call me Ana, so please call me Ana" I say and squeeze him as a warning not to contradict me. Gail looks at Christian and then at me and Christian smiles encouragingly and speaks.

"I am totally fine with that Gail. You and Ana have a special relationship and I am grateful for the support that you offer my wife, so if Ana feels more comfortable with the familiarity then I am fine with it too and... If you want to, you can call me Christian, after all you have worked for me for many years and I think we can drop the formalities in the privacy of our home" he says.

Gail looks surprised and shocked, "Very well, that will take some getting used to but thank you sir... I mean Christian... oh I'm not sure about that it doesn't seem right" she says and then smiles at him and Christian returns it with his own high definition smile.

"Whatever you feel comfortable with Gail" he says.

Gail nods and walks away.

"That was really nice, but I think you are still going to be Mr Grey and Sir" I whisper in his ear.

After breakfast we are deciding what we are going to do, Ray is staying with us for a few days but he is pottering round the extensive carpentry workshop Christian has had installed at the back of the house and I know we won't see him for the rest of the day once he gets in there.

I hear Christians phone buzzing. He looks at the screen and frowns before he quickly answers.

"Grey" he says and I watch as he listens and he glances at me before his face falls into that impenetrable impassive mask.

"Ok thank you for letting me know" he says in his most curt clipped CEO tone.

He kills the call and then looks at me and from his expression I know it's not good news.

"The date for the trial has been set for the beginning of February for the Charlie Tango sabotage; Rodriguez is pleading guilty and offering evidence for a reduced sentence. Hyde and Garrett are pleading not guilty but the evidence against them along their history is enough for a conviction".

He looks at me and pulls me close, "I don't want you to worry about this baby" he says.

"I just want those fuckers to be put away and out of our lives" I say fiercely.

"Watch your mouth Mrs Grey, but I quite agree" Christian replies.

"Erm excuse me sir" we turn to see Jason standing there.

"What is it?" Christian asks.

"Mr and Mrs Cross are here" he replies.

We are both surprised as we were expecting them to be flying back to New York today with Ireland. We walk into the great room and moments later Gideon and Eva stride in. Gideon has a grim expression on his face and Eva also looks worried.

"What's wrong?" Christian asks immediately.

"I think you both had better sit down" Eva says gently.

We all sit down and Gideon looks at Eva who takes up the explanation.

"We were on our way to the airport last night for my dad to return to California, and my dad mentioned that he had a niggling suspicion that he knew Carla from somewhere, he said he would run her name through a search to see what came up, and he has just emailed Gideon with what he found" she says.

She glances at Gideon who rubs his forehead, he leans forward and reaching for me he grasps my hands.

"Ana, your mother isn't what she seems" he says awkwardly.

I let out a derisive snort, "I already know that" I say sarcastically, as I think about that damned ring once more. Gideon looks slightly confused by that remark so I quickly apologise.

"Sorry Gideon, it's just something she did yesterday, for a very brief moment we thought she was being nice when in reality she was just looking to hurt me" I say bitterly.

Gideon still looks confused and glances at Christian who holds up his hand, "Long story we'll explain in a moment, you were saying…" he urges.

Gideon nods, "When you left your mother in Texas and went home to Ray, you were under the impression she left Morton shortly afterwards and went to Las Vegas where she met Bob Adams and then they moved to Georgia" he pauses and I nod slowly.

Gideon shakes his head, "That is incorrect… Both Carla and Morton moved to California for a while after you returned to Montesano, and according to Victor they clocked up quite a rap sheet of offences between them and Morton was arrested several times after neighbours called the police after hearing the disturbances between him and your mother. There were also drugs offences, Carla was found in possession of cannabis she said that Morton had forced her to buy it for him, and she was displaying evidence of domestic violence. But the worst offence, she was booked for was for prostitution she was picked up selling herself Ana, I am so sorry".

Gideon grips my hands and I shake my head I can't believe my own mother had done such a thing. I realise Gideon is talking again and my attention returns to him.

"Eventually Carla saw sense and left him moving out of state and went to settle in Vegas which is where she met Bob" he says.

"Well she is dead to me now anyway, so what she did is no concern of mine" I say tightly.

Gideon smiles sympathetically at me before he continues, "I have instructed my team to search all state police records around the country and to bury anything that they find on your mother, you don't need this and if the press get wind of it they won't let it go" he says.

He looks at Christian, "I'll forward the email Victor sent me to you so you can set your team on this as well" he says and Christian nods.

"Thanks Gideon, I appreciate that" Christian says gratefully.

I nod, "Yes thank you Gideon and thank you for letting me know. As I say as far as I am concerned she is dead to me".

I stand and leave Christian and Gideon and they watch me go, I see worried looks on both their faces, Eva stands to follow me but I shake my head at her, I hear Christian explaining to them about the ring and the history behind it as I go into Christian's office to call Carrick.

"Grey residence" I hear Grace's kind voice and I feel the tears starting to form.

"Hello Grace its Ana, could I possibly talk to Carrick please?" I ask.

"Hello Ana darling, of course you can, is everything alright?" I can hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm fine thank you Grace" I say but don't elaborate further, she asks me to hang on and moments later I hear Carrick.

"Hello Ana what can I do for you?" he says kindly.

"It's my mother, Eva's father has found information that she made quite a nuisance of herself in California before she met and married Bob, and Gideon and Christian's teams are now checking other police files to find out if she has a record anywhere else. It is clear all she wants to do is hurt me and I want her out of my life. I want legalities in place to prevent her from having anything to do with me ever again, is this possible and if so can you help me do it?" I pause and wait for his response and there is a silence for a moment.

"Ana, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry you have had to endure this, let me look into it and see what I can do for you, you have my word that I will do whatever I can to prevent her getting access to you again," he says.

"Thank you Carrick, I appreciate your help" I say.

"Ana you are our family now, you know that don't you? The way you have helped and changed our son for the better, I will do everything in my power to help you," Carrick says earnestly.

"Thank you Carrick" I say, I feel touched by his words and after speaking for a few more moments I hang up and head back out, everyone stops talking as I enter the room and stare at me.

"Don't stop talking on my account" I say brightly.

I turn to Christian, "I've just called Carrick and he is going to do everything he can to prevent my mother coming near me again" I say.

Christian nods as I sit down beside him and I reach for his hand which he willingly gives me, "What are you talking about?" I ask.

"The trial" Gideon replies shortly.

"Oh" I say "But surely we have a good case for conviction?" I say looking between Gideon and Christian.

Christian wraps his arm around me, "Yes baby we do" he says with a reassuring smile.

We talk a while longer and Gideon and Eva decide to spend the rest of the day with us and fly back out to New York tonight which raises my mood considerably. After a delicious lunch, we head out and decide to go for a walk along the beach. We show Eva where we scattered our son's ashes. Gideon has his arm around Eva and Christian is walking beside me leaning on his crutches but I have my hand tucked loosely through his arm, we are just walking and chatting easily, its nice it feels normal, no security tailing us, no issues or drama just chilling with our friends.

As we are heading back to the house, Christians phone buzzes and I roll my eyes, this is about the fifth time someone has called him. Gideon's phone has been buzzing frequently too, reminding us that these two men despite their age are not ordinary men, but run extensive empires and are two of the most powerful businessmen in the world.

"Grey" Christian snaps.

He pauses to listen while leaning on his crutches, as he does so he glances at me.

"Yes, right, I see... No I'll tell her, yes… yes… I understand that, thank you" he hangs up and turns to me and he pulls me close with one arm and grips my shoulders tightly, while he leans on his crutches with his other, both Gideon and Eva stop and wait quietly. From the change in Christian's demeanour to the way he holding me tightly we have all realised that whatever was said in that call is obviously not good.

"Ana, baby… that was Seattle's Chief of Police… I'm so sorry baby... but... it's your mother... Carla... she's been found dead in Seattle".

I gasp, and I feel suddenly dizzy. I grip Christian's arms and he tries to grab me to prevent me from falling, but he drops his crutches and Gideon quickly steps forward and sweeps me up into his arms without a moment's hesitation. Eva goes to help Christian retrieve his crutches, and silently we all make our way back to the house.

"Dead?" I ask as I sit down in the kitchen, Gail brings me a mug of hot tea and Christian and Gideon are sitting either side of me.

"Yes baby, and they need you to identify the body," Christian says apologetically.

I shake my head violently, "No please, no," I say.

"Let me fetch Ray," Gideon says and he squeezes my knee and rises to leave.

Moments later he returns with Ray who is also looking worried.

"Daddy" I gasp and fling myself into his arms.

"It's ok Annie, I'm here baby girl" he says.

"They want me to identify her body" I sob.

"I know, Gideon has filled me in. I'll go with you Annie, you have to do it as her next of kin but I'll be there with you and so will Christian" Ray says firmly but kindly.

I nod slowly, I know I have to do this but I really don't want to.

"I'll go and get my coat" I whisper. As I leave the room I hear Christian speak.

"She doesn't need this, all this stress it can't be good for her or the baby".

I close my eyes, he is terrified that I am going to lose the baby just like I lost our son and I feel the guilt of that worry. I have to say I'm not happy with all the things that have been dropped on us today, the trial, the revelations about my mother which could potentially embarrass the entire Grey family if they get out and now this. I absently grab my jacket and return to the great room where Christian immediately moves towards me and pulls me close.

I see Taylor is standing waiting as well, he has a sympathetic expression on his face and also Gail is there, she walks forward and grips my hand. She looks as though she has something she really wants to say so I give her my full attention.

"Ana, this is your closure, I know it sounds harsh and cold" she stops and looks down, as Jason puts his hand on her arm to quieten her.

"Gail!" he says in warning.

I look up, "No Jason she's right, I wanted her out of my life and I have got my wish. I'm not sure how I feel about that at the moment though, but I'll go and identify her body and say my goodbyes" I stop and look at Gail, "will you come with me please?" I ask.

Gail nods, "Of course I will" she says firmly.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am worried as Taylor drives us to the hospital to identify the body, my grip on Ana's hand is tight and she is quiet and still, too still. My baby is in shock, damn Carla, that woman has been nothing but trouble in Ana's life, and even in death she is causing her pain.

I glance at Gail who is sitting on Ana's other side and holding her other hand and quietly whispering into Ana's ear and then my attention turns to Ray who is sitting in the front with Taylor and who keeps glancing at Ana through the rear view window. We are all worried about her. I am terrified that this stress will trigger a miscarriage if that were to happen it would not only destroy Ana but I fear what it would do to our relationship, I would never blame Ana but I know I would blame Carla and I fear that unconsciously I would take it out on Ana.

I must stop thinking like this, I must think positively. I must be strong for Ana and not let my fears consume me. Nothing is going to go wrong, Ana is _not_ going to lose our baby and I am going to be the supportive, loving and protective husband my wife needs and deserves.

I look once again at Gail. I am going to encourage this relationship, Ana needs a mother figure in her life, my mother loves Ana like a daughter but Gail is on hand and lives with us and I know Ana trusts her and respects her opinion. Plus Gail was born to be a mother her nurturing and caring nature, was one of the reasons I employed her in the first place, she was an employee and I was a heartless and closed off bastard but knowing she was there taking care of me albeit as an employee was a source of comfort for me and I appreciated it, so I know why Ana feels so drawn to her.

Then there is Ray, my gaze falls on the man in the front of the car, he loves Ana with all his heart and he is the only person who I genuinely fear, as I know my wealth doesn't intimidate him or impress him, all he cares about is Ana and if anything were to happen to her nothing I have would protect me, he would destroy me and not think twice about it. My respect for this man is huge and I would never do anything to jeopardise Ana's relationship with him.

We arrive at the hospital and are quickly shown through to a private room where the Chief of Seattle police is waiting for us and he has a grim expression on his face. I know the only reason he is here in person is because of me and who I am and I know that this is something which makes Ana uncomfortable, but I am grateful that my wealth and status can provide my wife with the best treatment, which is what she deserves.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey" he says as he walks towards us his hand extended. "My deepest condolences on your loss Mrs Grey" he adds. Ana just nods but doesn't say a word.

He looks at the other people present and I quickly introduce them.

"This is Ray Steele, Ana's father, this is Gail Taylor Ana's close friend and confidant and Jason Taylor our Chief of Personal Security who you already know" I say and he greets them all politely.

"Ok if you could come with me please Mrs Grey" he says gesturing towards a door, Ana immediately looks at me and I step forward and manoeuvring my crutch I grasp her hand, Ana turns and speaks for the first time.

"I'd like everyone to come in with me if that is ok?" she asks her voice shaking a little.

"Of course Mrs Grey that's no problem at all" he says kindly.

We go in and the atmosphere is so thick and heavy, its oppressive. We see a table with a body covered by a sheet as we walk closer Ana's body stiffens and I wrap my arm around her to offer a small amount of support. As we gather around the top of the table a woman walks forward and waits I see Ana take a deep breath and then nod. The sheet is removed from the corpse on the table and I feel Ana's body sag and give way.

I shoot a panicked glance at Ray and he and Jason rush forward to grab her before she collapses to the ground and Gail grabs a seat and we lower Ana on to it, Ray crouches beside her and Gail brings me a chair and I gratefully lower myself into it and take Ana's hand in mine as she dissolves into tears.

"That's her" she stammers between sobs and the sheet is returned.

Ray and Jason practically carry Ana out of the room and the Chief gestures us into another one, I frown, and wonder that is happening now.

"What's going on? Can't you see my wife is distressed?" I snap.

The Chief looks at me sympathetically, "I'm sorry sir, if there was any other way believe me I would do it, but there was a letter on the body addressed to Mrs Grey and we need her read it and tell us who wrote it" he says.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope and places it on the table in front of Ana. She stares at it and shakes her head.

"I don't want to, please don't make me read it Christian" she looks up at me her eyes begging me to do something.

I think for a moment and an idea pops into my head, "What about if Ray or I read it?" I ask and glance questioningly at the Chief. Ray immediately makes the decision and leans to pick up the letter.

"I'll read it Annie, I know your mother's handwriting anywhere and looking at this envelope it's hers, is that acceptable to you?" he asks glaring at the chief.

The Chief nods, "Perfectly, I just didn't have the authority to give the letter to anyone other than Mrs Grey, you do understand that don't you?" he says looking from me to Ray and back again.

We all nod, I can tell the poor man is feeling totally out of his depth here. I pull Ana close as Ray tears open the envelope I watch him carefully as his eyes narrow and pure rage engulfs his features.

"That fucking bitch" he says, we are all shocked at such a response. The usually taciturn Ray is oozing with anger.

"Daddy what is it?" Ana asks and reaches for the letter.

Ray shakes his head, "No Annie, you are not to read this do you understand me, you will not read this" his fist curls around the sheet of paper and crushes it into his hand.

I see Ana stiffen and straighten, suddenly defiant and strong. "I can't promise that daddy, whatever she has said it clearly isn't good, but it's meant for me to read so I've changed my mind I want to read it" she says holding out her hand for the letter.

I know this stubborn look on Ana's face, she will read that letter one way or another.

I take the letter from Ray, I am worried and want to make sure it contains nothing that will unnecessarily hurt her but I have a feeling whatever is contained in this letter is really, really bad.

"May I read it first baby?" I ask she thinks for a moment and then nods.

"Yes" she says.

I look down at the scrawled handwriting and begin to read.

_Dear Ana_

_Well, I never thought it would end like this, you want me out of your life well now you have your wish. If you are reading this letter someone has found my body and passed it on to you. You have your fancy new life and your rich husband, well I hope to god you can hang on to them. Ray won't always be around and one day you will end up like me, when Christian gets bored of you and you will be just how I am now, alone._

_Goodbye Ana and I hope you can live with yourself knowing what you said killed your mother, at least you will have something to talk about with your precious husband - his mother died too from an overdose I was told. Well seems like a reasonable way to go. There, my final gift to you, I give you something you will have something in common with him._

_Have a nice life, but what I really hope is you will be haunted every day of your life for what you have done to me and how you have treated me and made me lose my will to live._

_Goodbye for ever_

_Mom_

I stare at the rambling letter and I am totally speechless, never in my wildest imagination would I expect anything so cruel, this is a suicide note where she is laying the blame of her impending death squarely on Ana and I know without shadow of a doubt that I don't want Ana to read this it will destroy her. I am still debating what to do when Ana pulls it from my hand.

"Baby please don't read it I beg you" I say pleading with her, but she ignores me, holding her hand up to stop me from taking back the letter and she begins to read.

I watch her carefully, and much to my surprise I don't see desolation but do see anger I see the anger in her eyes as her head whips up, the pain and tears have gone and there is a hard steel like glint in her eyes.

"This is bullshit - I am not responsible for her decisions, she did this to herself" she exclaims loudly and then she screws up the letter and throws it on the table.

"Will you take me home now please Christian?" she asks me quietly.

"Sure" I reply and stand holding out my hand to her.

I marvel at her as she walks from the room, considering how Ray and Jason had to practically carry her in, she stalks out with a sense of controlled pride and I realise whatever tiny bit of compassion and love Ana had for her mother was extinguished by the contents of that letter and it hasn't destroyed her it has made her stronger.

When we get outside she turns to me.

"Christian, as I am her next of kin will I be the one called upon to arrange her funeral and everything?" she asks.

I nod, "I would assume so baby, after all she had nobody else" I say carefully.

She shakes her head, "She knew what she was doing didn't she?" she mutters bitterly. "I don't want to go to her funeral" she says.

I nod and I reach out for her and pull her close, "That's fine baby and nobody will make you. If you don't want to organise anything I will sort it all out if you wish?" I ask carefully.

Ana smiles at me and wraps her small arms around my waist and puts her head on my chest.

"You are so good to me Christian, I don't know what I did to deserve you" she says.

"Baby, I ask myself the same question about you. If you want me to handle it, consider it done" I say.

"Thank you Christian" she says her head still buried into my chest.

We head back to the house where Gideon and Eva are waiting for us anxiously, once again they have delayed their departure for us, am in bewildered awe of the friendship these two people have shown myself and Ana.

"Is everything ok?" Gideon asks looking from Ana to me.

I shake my head but Ana smiles brightly, "Everything is fine Gideon, my mother decided to kill herself and from the suicide note she left it appears she chose a drugs overdose so that I'd have something in common with my husband and she blamed me for the fact she did it".

Gideon stares at her in shock and Eva immediately pulls Ana into a fierce hug.

"I'm fine, I really am" Ana protests as she finally pushes away from Eva.

"I know it wasn't my fault, I know it was her decision to do what she did, my mother never took any responsibility for anything she did throughout her life, and so her death also had to be someone else's fault. I feel a sense of release now, I am free of her, I will never be worrying whether she will show up and try and hurt me or my family and friends because perversely she has given me the ultimate gift she has freed me".

Gideon steps forward and hugs Ana tightly "You are a remarkable woman Ana and I am proud that you consider me your friend" Gideon says.

Ana pats his cheek, "Right back at you, you are the best friend anyone could wish for, but at this moment shouldn't you two be on your honeymoon?"

Gideon smiles "it's fine we have plenty of time, but we will be leaving soon. Will you two join us for New Year in New York?"

"You can count on it my friend" I say warmly.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

**(EVA) **

"Angel, you are miles away what are you thinking about?"

I glance up at my husband and smile, we are in one of his jets and we are flying East. I really didn't want to leave Seattle, but Gideon has prepared some sort of surprise for me for our honeymoon, although he has assured me this isn't our _proper_ honeymoon as he wants to take me away for at least a month for that and as it is, we won't even be away for a week, as we will back in New York in just under a week for New Year with Christian and Ana.

I shake my head and sigh, "I'm sorry I was just thinking about Ana. Is it really bad of me to be glad Carla is dead? I know you shouldn't be glad that someone has died but that woman was no mother to Ana. She was purely self centred and had no maternal instincts at all. I mean I have issues with my mom, but everything my mom does however misguided, comes from a good place and is through love and I always know she has my best interests at heart; whereas Ana didn't have that ever with Carla". I stop and look at Gideon and he nods in agreement with me.

"I know, all I can think is thank god she had Ray in her life as she was growing up. It's down to him that she turned out to be the wonderful woman she is today, and at least now she also has an extensive support network around her, with all the Grey's. They have totally taken her under their wing and she has us of course. I just hope that all this stress doesn't have an adverse effect on her and the baby as I dread to think what would happen if she suffered another miscarriage," he says soberly.

I nod in solemn agreement and go cold with that thought, the way Christian completely broke the last time, it was heart breaking to witness and I'm not certain either of them are totally over that period, I mean how could they be?

"They have the Charlie Tango trial coming up as well soon, that's more stress for them. Are we flying out to support them during that?" I ask.

Gideon nods again, "Yes, I have to go as I am giving evidence. I am an essential witness for the prosecution as I was there from the moment it was discovered Christian and Jason were missing and also it was my security team who were involved in the search and who eventually found them. Plus I was there when it was all uncovered about Welch. Raul and Jez are going to have to give evidence as well," he says.

I sit and think how our friendship with Ana and Christian has evolved over the relatively short period of time I have known them. I think back to how jealous I was when I first met Ana, Gideon had been totally honest with me when we got together and had told me that he previously had feelings for her and how he had been fully prepared to take her and the baby on when Christian had taken the news of Ana's pregnancy so badly and she had left him. He told me how he had given her the job in New York and got her a place to live, but he had assured me that she never saw him that way and they were just good friends but I do wonder in my more insecure moments whether or not he still harbours feelings for Ana.

"Gideon, do you ever regret that Ana picked Christian over you?" I ask, the words spilling out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

I watch his reaction to my question closely and I see the shock, he wasn't expecting that and he is wondering where this line of questioning has suddenly come from.

His head swings towards me and he looks at me incredulously, "Angel you know that it's you I love, and only you, I only see Ana as a friend now… you know that" he says emphatically.

I shake my head, I wasn't actually asking for him to reassure me on this occasion, "I know that but you are not answering my question Gideon. When Ana went back to Christian, were you disappointed?" I ask.

I watch him thinking over my question and slowly he shakes his head.

"No, because if I were to be totally honest it was always an inevitability and to be fair in the end I regretted manipulating her into moving to New York, which is why I pulled out all the stops to help her transfer to the Washington office when she decided to return to Seattle with Christian".

I lean forward totally invested in this conversation now, he has never really talked about this before, not in such depth, only saying that he met Ana after she had left Christian and he had taken her under his wing and he harboured the notion that they would end up together.

"You manipulated her?" I ask. I am surprised when his face fills with shame and he nods.

"I did, I caught her at a vulnerable time and I exploited it, I saw an opportunity and I took it without questioning whether or not it was the right thing to do. We had previously met by chance in New York – as you already know, and I'd felt a connection with her, it was something I'd _never _experienced before so I pursued her. I pursued her all the way back to Seattle and I arrived as she had just literally found out she was pregnant – it was literally only moments before I knocked on her door. I was there when she told Christian and he'd had a tantrum, denied paternity and walked out on her. She was reeling from that and I was there and I saw the opportunity to use the situation to my advantage and I used her vulnerability at the prospect of being a single mother against her. I told her I could offer her a good job and security for her and her child. You also need to know that Ana's motivation was entirely that when she accepted my offer. At first I entertained the notion that once I got her to New York I could get her to forget about Christian and she would be with me, and I even offered to take care of her and raise the child as my own, but I was kidding myself as she made it clear that we were just friends and nothing more and she was only coming to New York for the job. It was obvious that her heart belonged to Christian".

"Even though he was behaving like an asshole?" I say incredulously.

Gideon snorts, "Yeah even though he was behaving like an asshole. To be fair though she didn't think of me romantically and she was always very clear with me that we were just friends and that Christian would always have a place in her life, in fact they reconciled before she even left Seattle but with the threat of Sybil we all agreed it would be safer for her to carry on with her plans to move to New York until we had built a strong enough case against Sybil to bring her down, unfortunately it turned out that she wasn't safer in New York, and I will always feel a massive level of responsibility for the repercussions of that". He pauses his face darkening as he is remembering that time.

I stare at him and reach for him, "Are you saying that you blame yourself for the miscarriage Ana suffered?" I ask.

Gideon nods, "Yes I do, I know logically I am not responsible, however if I hadn't pursued her and put the idea of a fresh start in New York into her head she wouldn't have been there and she would never have met Damien and been taken by him and delivered into the hands of Morton and Sybil Hanson, she wouldn't have been beaten with cane and nearly raped by Morton and she wouldn't have suffered pain and bleeding afterwards".

"But despite that, the hospital in New York gave her the all clear, they said the baby was unharmed?" I say.

Gideon nods, "they did and they said it again when she continued to get pains and cramping and Christian took her back. So did the hospital in Seattle when she continued to get pains and twinges, and Christian continued to take her back. But the fact remains she only started getting those pains and twinges _after_ she was taken and tortured by Sybil and Morton and if she hadn't been in New York she wouldn't have been taken; so I will have to live with the fact there is that possibility… that element of doubt that my decision to manipulate Ana into coming to New York cost Ana and Christian their child".

I shake my head at him, I had no idea he felt this way. "Gideon you have to stop thinking like this, Ana and Christian don't blame you" I say.

I watch him smile bitterly, "No they don't, because they both completely blame themselves for it for different reasons. Christian blames himself for existing so he naturally blames himself for putting Ana on Sybil's radar and Ana blames herself because she feels she was negligent when she stopped telling Christian about the pains she was getting because the was embarrassed because the hospital always gave them the all clear and because she wanted to prevent the pain it caused him, so they are too busy blaming themselves to even consider the role I played" he says sadly.

"Did you love Ana?" I ask, slightly afraid of how he is going to answer that.

He looks back at me and smiles, "Yes… I believe I did, but you have to remember something else Angel, before I met Ana I was a closed off and a totally isolated solitary person, but she somehow managed to get past all my defences. She broke down my walls, hell she blasted the god damn things away and she showed me that what I had been through wasn't my fault and that I was worth something as a person. She made me feel as though I had a place in the world. She has done exactly the same thing for Christian but the difference is _she_ loves him totally and completely, but me she loves only as a friend. But she did something more for me though, much more - she prepared me, she made me capable to give and receive love and make me believe I was worthy of it… in short she made me able to love you and accept your love and let you in. She made me realise and understand that I was worth loving, so for that alone you could say I will _always_ love her, not in a sexual or romantic way. I owe her a debt of gratitude that I will never ever be able to repay," he pauses and looks at me carefully as though he is gauging my response to all that.

I am shocked at that, I never knew that he credited Ana with making such a monumental change in his life and after hearing all that I realise that his relationship with her is far more complex than I could ever have imagined but strangely enough it also gives me the reassurances I needed and any lingering insecurity I had about his feelings for Ana vanish in that moment. I return my attention back to him as he is speaking again.

"Plus finding out we were all linked by the monsters who abused us all, has given us _all_ an unbreakable bond which is stronger and deeper than any conventional friendship, I will never forget that day we sat there in Ana and Kate's apartment. We sat and told each other what we had each been through, we had just discovered the link between Christian and I with Sybil and we just opened up. It was liberating and horrific in equal part but it forged a relationship between us which is unbreakable, as that day we released all our fears and inner demons, we let everything out – then Christian told his parents for the first time; and we, Ana and I, supported him while he did it. I spoke of everything that had happened to me for the first time in years and for the first time _ever _ I was unconditionally believed, which for me was momentous and Ana made us both realise we weren't to blame for any of it. I will never forget that day, that day was the turning point for all of us..."

I watch as he trails off and I see him remembering.

He looks at me and smiles, "Eva, listen to me, you have nothing to worry about. I look on Ana as a sister. I don't think of her romantically at all. I have no regrets that she chose Christian, she is the other half of his soul".

He reaches over and grasps my hand, "just as you, are the other half of mine," he adds as he squeezes my hand tightly.

I fling my arms around him and kiss him fiercely. "I love you so much Gideon" I say.

"And I love you Angel" he replies.

His hand travels down and touches my stomach protectively, and he smiles. "I can feel our baby, you have a small bump forming" he says and immediately he lifts up my shirt and gazes at my tiny barely there bump reverently.

"Look at that, evidence of my baby growing inside you," he says brushing his fingers over the almost insignificant swell of my stomach. He crouches and presses a small kiss to my stomach and carefully replaces my shirt.

I decide to try and change the subject as things have got far too heavy, "Where are we going?" I ask.

Gideon rises to his feet and pulls me towards him, "That Mrs Cross, is a surprise, I hope you will like it, but I am confident you will" he says.

"Oh come on Gideon give me a clue?" I persist.

"You will see soon enough" he says and refuses to say any more.

When we finally land, we leave the plane and Angus is waiting for us with the Bentley, I frown was it close enough for Angus to drive to from New York? I am still clueless as to where we are and where we are going, but I follow my husband my excitement rising.

When we eventually reach our destination Gideon tells me to close my eyes as he helps me out of the Bentley, I do as he asks and he pulls me forward, I feel him standing behind me and he places his hands on my shoulders and then whispers in my ear.

"Open your eyes Angel" he whispers.

I do so and see a beautiful beach house, I gasp and step forward, gazing at the house and the beach and everything, it is perfect.

"It's perfect" I say staring at it.

"So you like it Angel?" he asks carefully.

"I love it" I say.

"That's good, because it's yours," he says.

I spin around and stare at him and he grins at me.

"This is my wedding gift to you Angel, bought this place for us to get away from the city, but it's all in your name it belongs to you" he says.

"I... I... I don't know what to say!" I say, I am completely speechless, "Thank you" I stammer as I fling my arms around him.

I pull away and look at Gideon "Just out of interest… Where exactly are we?" I ask.

He laughs, "The Outer Banks Angel" he says.

I stare at him, "North Carolina?" I ask.

He nods, "that's right, and it's all yours".

I walk slowly towards the house taking everything in, we go inside and it is breathtakingly lovely, although it is rustic on the outside it is modern on the inside. The walls are painted white and the furniture is white and the only colour is coming from the rugs on the varnished wooden floor and the cushions. I look towards the huge window which looks out on to the ocean and I take in a sharp breath as the view is breath taking.

Gideon leads me upstairs and the master suite is just as beautiful, again the colour scheme is white, it is a completely open space and the bed which dominates the space is huge and it is covered with white satin and again the only colour is the hardwood floor, rugs and cushions on a sofa in the corner. It reminds me of a bridal suite and I know that is the look Gideon was going for, considering we are on our honeymoon. He has had flowers arranged all around the room, mainly white ones. Roses, lilies and tulips with just an odd coloured one here and there amongst the white and I note that the flowers match the colour of the cushions and rugs. I turn to face him and he is looking at me anxiously. I smile at him and the anxiety melts away, replaced with love and relief.

He reaches for me and strokes my face with his fingers, "take your clothes off Angel, and I will run us a bath," he whispers and he kisses my lips softly.

"Ok" I say, I am totally mesmerised by him, I watch him disappear through a door and I walk over to the window and look out, it is so perfect ... and mine. I can't believe this I am in awe of my husband at this moment for finding this place which is perfect in itself and then managing to improve on perfection.

I turn as I hear him returning, and I gasp he is completely naked and very aroused, "You are wearing too many clothes Mrs Cross" he says.

I walk towards him, "Well why don't you rectify that" I say with a grin.

"Gladly" he replies.

I reach my hand down between us and grasp his cock in my hand and he shivers and moans with desire I feel his excitement rising as he pulls my clothes off, I let go of him and help him remove all my clothing until I am as naked as he is, he stares at me and his hands reach for my breasts and he pulls gently on my nipples his eyes travel to my stomach and his hands travel downwards and brush my bump.

"Your body is changing, your breasts are bigger and fuller and even more beautiful and this..." he touches my bump again, "this, I love more than anything, because this is the first physical evidence I have as proof of the new life inside you that our love for each other has created". I see the unbridled intensity of his gaze as his eyes are fixed on my stomach.

I stare at him and I realise this baby means so much to him, he lost his own family as a small boy when his father committed suicide and then he was estranged from the family and the new life his mother had made for herself, living for years alone and isolated from everyone, and now I realise that he sees this baby as his chance of having his own family, something which he can care for and belong to. The fact that I am the one giving him this precious gift makes me feel suddenly afraid.

"Angel what is it?" he asks, I realise that he must have seen something on my face, as these thoughts went through my mind.

"Nothing, I was just feeling a little overwhelmed by everything," I say and I smile at him.

"Come with me," he says gently and leads me by the hand into the bathroom, I gasp as I see the huge bath in the middle of the room surrounded by lit candles of all sizes.

I turn "So much for not having romance in your repertoire," I say remembering the words he had said to me back when we first met.

He laughs and pushes the hair from my face, "Angel you have changed me, since you have been in my life, I have done things which I would never have dreamed of doing previously and for that I love you", he says earnestly.

I swallow deeply as he leads me to the bath and helps me in climbing in behind me and pulling me to his chest and running his hands over my body.

After spending a romantic and erotic bath together, where we both had several orgasms and most of the water in the bath ended up on the floor, Gideon leads me to the bedroom. I lie down on the bed and he climbs on beside me.

"I love you so much," he whispers in my ear.

I smile, "You are getting very good at saying those words," I say.

He gives me an amused snort, "They are still inadequate for the way I feel about you," he replies.

I watch as Gideon's hand moves and gently stroke's my tiny bump and I smile at the obsessive way he always has to keep touching it and caressing it. Suddenly he moves and positions himself between my legs. His mouth presses a kiss to my stomach and then gradually works its way south. I moan with desire knowing what his intentions are and I open my legs wider for him to gain easy access to me.

I glance down and see his arousal and it never ceases to amaze me how he can be constantly aroused despite the fact he has been active for hours and already had several orgasms. I am just as bad as I am desperate to feel him inside me again and I urge him closer grasping his behind and making my intentions clear. Gideon lowers himself down on top of me but is careful to take his weight on his arms. He pushes his fingers inside me and he moans his eyes glittering with excitement and I look at him questioningly.

"I can feel it, I can feel my semen inside you, and knowing that I left it there, that I marked you with my seed, I find it very arousing" he murmurs.

Listening to him explain that suddenly sounds the most erotic thing in the world. I don't reply I just pull him closer and kiss him.

I feel him shift and then gently insert himself into me, I gasp at the familiar full feeling and then he slowly starts to move, making sweet gentle love to me.

**oooOOOooo**

The days fly past and they follow the same routine, making love – a lot. There isn't a room in this beach house where we haven't had sex, when Gideon hasn't been inside me we have been walking along the beach, it is beautiful and so peaceful.

Gideon told me the beach is private and totally secure. I think he harbours a desire to make love on the beach at some point, but that will have to wait until the summer as it is far too cold to even consider such a thing at the moment. Gideon has given me his complete attention, I have asked him a few times if he has been keeping abreast of work and he nodded assuring me he is in contact with his team at Cross Industries but he only calls them when I am sleeping so his time with me is totally uninterrupted.

The only thing that makes me sad is the fact he leaves me at night, but he still refuses to sleep the entire night with me. Since we have been here he has woken me with his nightmares twice, it breaks my heart to hear him reliving his past trauma in his dreams. I am watching him now he is thrashing about and screaming in pain, his back arching and he is masturbating – if it can be called that, he is gripping his cock brutally and I feel helpless, but he has attacked me before when I have tried to help him and wake him and he has made me promise not to try and wake him, as he doesn't want to hurt me. So I just sit and watch with tears falling, until I can't bear it any longer.

"GIDEON, WAKE UP!" I shout, there is no response and he continues to call out in gut wrenching cries.

"GIDEON, PLEASE WAKE UP!" I try again and he stills suddenly so I call again.

"GIDEON, WAKE UP, GIDEON I'M HERE YOU'RE SAFE" I stand and switch the light on and off several times before I hesitantly walk closer constantly shouting his name, eventually he opens his eyes and responds to me.

"Eva" he gasps hoarsely, he looks around and then down at himself and shame engulfs his face.

I know I am now safe to touch him, so I walk towards him take him in my arms.

"I'm here, you're safe, talk to me baby" I whisper as he pulls me into his arms.

This is our routine when he wakes up, he tells me what he remembers of his dream. It appears to be helping as we talk through it and I assure him none of it is his fault and that it wasn't real it was just a dream and that he is now safe and loved. As I hold him, his sweat drenched body shaking in my arms he talks through his dream and I listen and comfort him, I feel him relax and slowly return to sleep. I gently remove myself from his arms and return to my own bed and sigh, wondering if I will ever get to sleep with my husband.

Eventually our time at the beach house comes to an end. I am sad because I have loved being here with Gideon, but I am also excited about going home to New York and celebrating New Year with Christian and Ana.

"We can come here whenever you like" Gideon says as we drive away from the beach house and I glance back at it.

I nod, "I can't wait to bring our child here and play on the beach with him or her" I say and I watch Gideon's face soften as he thinks of that scenario and he holds me tighter to him.

"I can't wait for that either," he says quietly.

We make it to the airport and as we are flying north to New York, Gideon is going through some contracts which he needs to check which have been sent down for him to sign. While he is busy working I check my calendar on my phone and notice that we have a hospital appointment coming up shortly.

"We have our hospital appointment when we return to New York, and we will have our scan" I say randomly.

Gideon immediately lifts his head up and smiles and I see the excitement in his eyes, "Will we be able to see the sex of the baby?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I doubt it yet it's too early" I say.

Before we know it we are landing in New York and back at the Penthouse. I look around the familiar room and flop down on the sofa. I am glad to be home, I love New York and feel most at home and comfortable in this buzzing vibrant city. I glance at the clock, its nearly 9 o clock in the evening and Gideon has been holed up in his study ever since we got back, so feeling at a loose end I pick my phone up and call Ana.

"Hello," I hear Ana's voice and I smile.

"Hi Ana, are you ready for New Year!?" I say brightly.

"Eva! How was your honeymoon?" Ana asks.

"Fabulous! You'll never guess what, Gideon bought a beach house down in the Outer Banks, it's gorgeous, and he gave it to me as a wedding present can you believe him!?" I say.

"He sounds as over the top as Christian" Ana says laughing, "Did you take plenty of photographs?" she adds.

"I did, I'm telling you Ana, you'd love it there, and it is so peaceful. When we have had the babies we will all have to go down there and spend some time there, what do you say?" I ask.

I visualise Christian and Gideon playing the proud fathers on the beach with their children and Ana and I watching.

"That sounds a wonderful idea" Ana says.

"What time are you two arriving tomorrow?" I ask.

"I'm not sure, Christian has been busy finalising some business deals and he said we should be flying out early tomorrow morning, I hope its not too early, but he said he is planning on landing in New York shortly after lunchtime," she says.

"Ok, I am looking forward to New Year, its hard to think this time last year I was in California with my dad, so much has happened in such a short space of time. Moving to New York, my job, meeting Gideon, marrying Gideon, leaving my job and now facing the New Year a partner in Cross Industries and facing motherhood, its enough to blow your mind" I say.

"I know what you are saying, this time last year I had never even heard of Christian Grey, and if Kate hadn't got the flu I wouldn't be where I am now. I met Christian at the beginning of the year and since then it's been a complete whirlwind. I just hope that once this trial is over we can get a bit of peace and time to catch our breath," Ana says with a sigh.

I am a little concerned by her tone of voice, she sounds almost sad.

"Ana, are you happy with Christian, and your life?" I ask.

There is a slightly ominous silence for a moment, "I am, but it's all been a bit overwhelming at times, you have to remember I wasn't used to all the trappings of his extensive wealth – Dad and I, well, we didn't have much, but we managed. I put myself through college and then suddenly Christian Grey crashed into my life and showed me a life which was beyond anything I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams," she says.

"Yeah, I suppose it was a bit much, I had the advantage that my mom has always been married to multi millionaires and so I grew up around money, and so I know a bit about the lifestyle but I know what you are saying" I say, "anyway, I'll see you tomorrow" I add trying to add a little levity.

"Yeah I'm really looking forward to it Eva, see you tomorrow" Ana says.

"Goodnight Ana" I say and she says goodnight to me and I kill the call.

I am more than a little concerned about Ana's melancholy, and I go in search of Gideon, he is still in his office. I push open the door and he raises his head and smiles at me.

"Angel am I neglecting you?" he says and he pushes his chair back and pats the desk in front of him. I immediately walk over and hop up on the desk and he moves his chair towards me and wraps his strong arms around my waist and buries his head in my lap.

I tell him about the phone call with Ana and my concerns about what she said, he listens to me and frowns.

"She has gone through a momentous year, to say the least, as she said this time last year she was living with Kate and oblivious to the fact Christian even existed. Then in the space of a year look at what she has gone through, she met Christian, who by his own admission is fifty shades of fucked up, she left him, she went through that business with Jack Hyde, met me, discovered she was pregnant with Christian's baby, reconciled with Christian, moved to New York, got kidnapped and attacked by a childhood abuser, moved back to Seattle, suffered a miscarriage, got married, went through the horror of seeing the man she loved get seriously hurt in a crash and then discover she is pregnant again, and then her mother who has periodically popped up causing trouble kills herself and leaves her a message telling her it's her fault, by any stretch of the imagination its a wonder she's not a basket case," he says.

I nod, "When you put it like that, it just goes to show what an exceptionally strong person she is, and look at what she is now facing – she has to bury her mother and she is facing a trial of the people who sabotaged Charlie Tango, and one of those people was supposedly a friend," I say.

Gideon nods again, "although, I think she has handed over her mother's burial to Christian, after reading that letter I don't think she has it in her to make the arrangements, and whether or not she even actually attends remains to be seen," he says.

"I can't believe how humble her beginnings were, we talked about our childhoods when we went on that spa day, and she told me how Ray was her rock, but how she described everything, it sounded like they hardly had two cents to rub together, but what shines through is she was so happy, she never felt she was missing out on anything, and when you contrast that to my mothers attitude where she isn't happy unless that involves huge sums of money to spend, and happiness is measured in dollar signs, it just seems so shallow and pointless," I stop and Gideon looks up at me.

"She is a remarkable woman and if she is struggling, we need to make sure we are there for her, and Christian because, if Ana isn't happy he will be struggling too".

"Definitely" I agree, "Ana says Christian is hoping to be here just after lunchtime tomorrow are we going to the airport to meet them?" I ask.

Gideon nods, "We are, I have to go into the office first thing but I shouldn't be too long" he says.

As we are sitting there my phone buzzes and I reach for it, Gideon lifts himself up and watches me as I answer it.

"Hello" I say warily as the number is unfamiliar.

"Eva, how are you baby?" I nearly drop the phone at the sound of the smooth voice of Brett Kline.

"Brett, what a surprise, how are you?" I say brightly trying to hide my sudden rush of panic at the way Gideon has stiffened, I reach for Gideon's hand and squeeze it reassuringly.

"Eva, we are on tour at the moment and we are doing a gig in New Jersey, and I'd really like to see you" he says.

"I don't think that would be a good idea Brett, I am with Gideon now and he is the owner of your record label" I say.

"Eva, I need to talk to you about something and I have something to show you, but I really want to see you as well – come on baby, it'll be like old times at Pete's" he says.

I think quickly, wondering what on earth he could possibly want to talk to me about, then I remember the book Marcus wrote, Gideon told me he wasn't happy about my decision to want to keep the identity of the characters secret, he wanted to use it for publicity for the band. Gideon also told me that he suspected Christopher was behind the move in an attempt to hurt him.

"Ok Brett – I'll meet you but not alone, I will bring my husband with me and depending on the date we will invite our friends to come too" I say.

I know this won't go down well and as I wait as silence spreads out between us I smile.

"I need to talk to you alone Eva, I need to discuss something important with you," he persists.

I begin to lose patience, "if this is about the book your brother wrote, I won't reconsider I do not want it made public and that's it" I snap.

"No it's not that, I've accepted that, the band are releasing Golden as their next single, and I want to use some backstage footage which Sam took of us for the video, nothing explicit I assure you, although there are some pretty raw moments between us which also got caught".

"What?!" I gasp, the blood is rushing through my ears and I am unable to hear anything else. I stare at Gideon and he immediately senses my distress and pulls the phone from my hand.

"What the fuck is going on Kline?" he snaps, he presses the speaker button so I can also hear what Brett says.

"I was just telling Eva about some fantastic old footage I have of her and I which was captured backstage and we are hoping to use some of the less... explicit parts as part of the forthcoming Golden video" he says smugly.

"Over my dead fucking body" Gideon snarls.

"We'll see," Brett says and then hangs up.

I stare at Gideon in shock and panic, I did some pretty raw things with Brett at a time where I had no self respect and I was in a bad place. I start hyperventilating and I reach out frantically for my husband.

Gideon immediately responds and pulls me into his arms, "I won't let this happen Angel, trust me, he won't get away with this" he says.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER 47

"Eva, are you ready, we need to go if we are going to get to the airport in time to meet Christian and Ana?!" Gideon calls me and I make my way out of the bedroom, pushing my phone into my purse.

"Yes, I'm coming" I say.

I am scattered and distracted after my conversation last night with Brett and Gideon senses it, he pulls me into his arms and just holds me tightly, he rests his chin on the top of my head.

"It'll be ok Angel, I won't let him hurt you, you do know that don't you?" he says earnestly.

I sigh and wrap my arms around him soaking him in and letting the feel of him against me calm and comfort me.

"I know" I say quietly. That is one certainty I do have, that my husband loves me and he while he draws breath he will protect me and do his best to prevent anyone from hurting me.

Gideon presses a kiss to the top of my head and gently eases away from me, I know we need to go, but at this moment I just want to be selfish and prolong the moment of him holding me and making all the bad things disappear, so I cling to him harder.

"Just a moment longer Ace" I whisper.

He nods and his arms go back around me and we stand in silence just holding each other, no words are necessary and just feeling his hard warm body against mine soothes and calms me. I unwrap myself and look up at him and his gorgeous blue eyes look down into mine and they are filled with concern for me.

"I'm ok now" I say and smile reassuringly at him.

He searches my expression and nods, and without a word he holds his hand out to me. I take it and bring it up to my lips and press a small kiss on his wedding ring. We travel down the elevator in silence and as we cross the lobby. I see Raul waiting for us outside beside the Bentley, and it's good to see him again, he handed over the security of GEH to Jez and Luke at Christmas and returned to us a couple of days ago after well earned break. He hands the keys to Gideon and then climbs into the Merc parked behind the Bentley.

"When does Angus get back?" I ask.

Angus has gone to Scotland to celebrate Hogmanay, he still has family there including a brother and Gideon had gladly sent him on a Cross Industries jet.

"Erm, he flies back on 3rd January," Gideon replies as he pulls into the New York traffic.

We arrive at the airport just as the GEH jet is taxiing to a halt and I see Gideon smile at the sight of it, I reach over and grip his knee and he places his hand on top of mine and rubs his thumb over my knuckles. It's snowing and bitterly cold, so we wait inside the car until the doors of the plane open, and we step out as the familiar shapes of Christian and Ana step out of the plane.

Ana hugs me tightly and I frown as she is very pale and quiet, in fact to me she looks quite ill. I glance at Christian who is still making his way steadily down the steps when he eventually reaches us Gideon embraces him warmly. I hug Christian and give him a small kiss on the cheek which he returns and Gideon envelopes Ana in a huge hug.

I can tell he is also worried about how ill she looks. As we climb into the car, I watch Luke leave with Raul and I know he is going to drop off Christian and Ana's cases at their apartment before meeting up with us later. The drive back to our apartment is a quiet one, in contrast to previous car journeys there is no banter between Christian and Gideon and both Ana and I remain silent.

When we arrive at the penthouse, Gideon and Christian disappear to Gideon's office and I sit with Ana, I look at her for a moment before I speak.

"Ana what's wrong, you look like shit?" I say bluntly.

Her eyebrows raise and she looks at me, "I could ask you the same question, you don't exactly look the best either?" she retorts.

The comment is what I needed and I snort with laughter and I see a smile play reluctantly on Ana's lips and then she giggles.

"I'm sorry, it was my mother's funeral was yesterday" she explains, "I went and I'm wishing now that I hadn't because I just felt resentful. Christian and Ray were both there, not for her but for me and I felt guilty that I put them through it. Christian was wonderful though, he had arranged everything and it was beautiful... far better than she deserved," she stops and looks down at her fingers knotting in her lap.

I wrap my arm around her, "Oh Ana don't dwell on it, she's gone now. I know it sounds harsh, but you are free of her, you can look to the future without the worry of her making an appearance and stirring up trouble," I stop, wondering if I have gone too far, but Ana returns my hug.

"Thank you, Christian has said much the same thing and so has Ray. Kate has put it in even more forthright terms" she says and she grins at the memory.

"I am starting to believe it, but it was my mother you know, I _should_ be grieving for her but I feel nothing other than a blessed relief that I don't have to deal with her anymore" she adds.

She turns and stares at me, "so that's me sorted, now, what's up with you?" she says firmly and grips my hand encouragingly.

I shake my head "Oh Ana, it's a fucking mess. I got a call from Brett Kline last night, he wants to see me, and he dropped on me that there is some kind of sex tape of us which was recorded without my knowledge, which... get this, he also wants to use parts of for the video of their latest song, I have no idea what it contains, but he said it was footage taken backstage at Pete's bar and if that's the case, it will be bad, and I mean really bad. I wasn't in a good place and I was pretty wild and I had no self respect at all and I did things with Brett which I regret totally now. I just wonder if he is doing this out of spite because I put my foot down about the book. I also got the impression from what he said that he still wants me, which isn't going to happen. I have told him I'm with Gideon, but it didn't seem to faze him. Gideon is understandably furious about it all, plus he is also convinced that Christopher could be behind it to try and score points - as you know how they don't get on. So the long and short of it is, as much as I don't want to I have to see him as I want to know what footage he has exactly and what he is going to do. The band is on tour and he wants to meet up when they play New Jersey, whenever that is. I'm sure Gideon would know I mean he controls their label, but Brett wants to see me alone". I stop and Ana is staring at me her mouth hanging open in shock.

"The fucking bastard, does he realise that if you had no idea you were being filmed, that is illegal and you are within your rights to press charges? Also, if anyone else is captured on it – he would need their permission to use the footage too. Also, does he realise antagonising Gideon is not a smart move on his part? He is the man with the money who holds his livelihood in his hand and who could easily drop the band and if Brett pursues this, and quite frankly after everything you have just said, I think he should".

I look at my friend who suddenly looks totally different from the pale and ill woman who sat before me a few moments ago. She is now full of indignant rage, her own worries and thoughts forgotten now that her friend needs her help. Ana stands and starts pacing as she is working things out in her head; I smile as I watch the transformation in her as she has clearly learnt that mannerism from Christian.

She turns and fixes me with her gaze, "I'll come with you when you visit him, I don't think Gideon should as he is too close to the situation, but you need someone with you," she says firmly. She pauses and continues to think and then she turns her head and shouts loudly.

"CHRISTIAN, GIDEON GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE NOW!" she calls.

Moments later our husbands stroll into the room. Christian looks surprised but also relieved and pleased to see feisty Ana and they both come and sit down and Ana swings round to face them.

"Has Gideon told you about what has happened?" she asks. Christian stares up at her questioningly and shakes his head.

"Brett fucking Kline" she spits.

"Aah" Christian says in acknowledgement "yes he has baby why?" he says.

"Because, when Eva goes to see him I am going with her. Legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on and I don't think Gideon should go as he is too close to the situation" she blurts out and then stops looking at Christian almost daring him to contradict her.

Christian glances at Gideon, "Gideon and I have been discussing it and what we should do, we have been looking at a few scenarios, but I agree with you baby someone should go with Eva, and if you want to go with her then I won't stop you. What we need to do is find out how many copies of this tape there are, where they are and who has them. I agree with you that there is no way Kline will tell you that, if Gideon is there. I have called Barney and he is already working on searching for soft copies online. We have given him a list of places to search – you know the various obvious online sources and hopefully from those points track down any forwarded copies. If you could get any more information out of Kline about where any more copies are that would help Barney considerably. We obviously need to know if there are hard copies anywhere as well and we need to find out where they are and as I say Kline would be more inclined to provide that information if Gideon isn't around".

Ana stares at him and smiles widely, she turns to me, "See Eva, we can do this they won't be able to do this to you" she says confidently.

I smile back and nod, I am shocked that in the space of half an hour there is a workable plan in operation and wheels have already been set in motion to put a stop to this.

"Thank you I'm speechless, and I do feel much better now" I say gratefully, but Christian just waves his hand dismissively.

"Gideon when is the Jersey gig as that is when Brett suggested we meet?" I ask looking at my husband.

"The day after tomorrow" he replies stiffly.

I turn towards Ana and look at her questioningly.

"That doesn't give us long but we can do this" Ana says firmly, then she looks at Christian "Christian I know you won't be happy about this, but Luke should stay back and not accompany us to the meeting with Brett either" she says warily.

Christian immediately stiffens and shakes his head emphatically, "No, absolutely not, Luke goes with you or you don't go Ana" he says firmly.

Ana sighs and rolls her eyes which makes Christian frown, but then she leans forward and speaks to him gently.

"I'm not disputing that Christian, I just think he should stay in the car with Raul, before Raul returned to Gideon he worked closely with him and they work well together, so it wouldn't be a problem. Plus do you seriously think Brett would say anything with Christian Grey's security breathing down his neck? We need to make him feel he has the upper hand, give him the illusion of control" Ana says firmly, and she gives me a little glance and smirk as she says it.

From that gesture I am certain she has adopted that tactic with Christian many times, let him think he has the upper hand and giving him the illusion of control.

Christian looks helplessly at Gideon almost pleading with him to come to his aid, but Gideon just grins and holds his hands up.

"You have to admit she has a point" he says.

I watch Christian thinking things over, he is clearly not happy about this and torn between helping us and refusing to let Ana participate, eventually he seems to arrive at some conclusion.

"Ok, but you carry an emergency cell, you record the conversations, so security in the car can listen in and any hint of trouble you call them in do you understand me?" he says.

Ana flings her arms around Christian and hugs him tightly, "Thank you" she says.

Christian shakes his head, "I'm not happy about this, why am I unable to say no to you?" he grumbles.

Gideon snorts at that remark, "One of life's mysteries my friend, I am totally unable to say no to Eva as well".

We discuss things further for a while and I am feeling much happier now, it's true what they say that a problem shared is a problem halved and now, my husband and our best friends are involved and helping us I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

I feel even more confident when Luke and Raul arrive. Gideon and Christian quickly brief them on the situation and the plan we have cobbled together and they offer their input and things are tweaked and polished until we have a plan which everyone is happy with. When it becomes clear we have everything sorted as much as it can be and that we are happy with what we have decided, we choose to put this to one side for the rest of the day and enjoy the remainder of New Years Eve together.

**oooOOOooo**

New Years Eve was lovely, and having Christian and Ana with us made the evening perfect, after we had put aside the Brett Kline matter we settled down and concentrated on enjoying ourselves. Of course Ana and I weren't drinking, but Gideon and Christian managed to get through numerous bottles of beer. Ana and I took pleasure watching our husbands relax and enjoying themselves and acting their age.

"When do you have your next scan Eva?" Ana asks me suddenly.

"Erm, January 4th, that is our 12 week scan, have you had your first scan yet?" I ask.

Ana nods, "yes, we went a couple of days after Christmas. Dr Green said I was about 6/7 weeks pregnant, which makes me due around the end of August/beginning of September".

I nod, "I am due mid July, Gideon is desperate to find out the sex of the baby, he hasn't given anything away and to be honest I don't think he really minds if it's a boy or a girl but he just wants to know".

Ana smiles sadly, "Christian is just anxious for me to carry the baby to term and not have another miscarriage, but I think deep down he would love a son" she says.

Our conversation is interrupted by our husbands who come over and pull us to our feet to dance with them. Ana giggles as Christian holds out his hand to her and as she stands he pulls her awkwardly into his arms whilst leaning on his crutches for support and then he just sways with her, I am in awe of this man, how he has got himself mobile in such a short amount of time. He now refuses point blank to use his body brace for the majority of the time, unless he has any distance to walk. He is still using crutches though and probably will do for a considerable time to come. My thoughts are interrupted by my husband whispering in my ear.

"I love you Angel" he slurs, and I smile, this man who found it so hard to say those words and still maintains that they are inadequate for how he feels about me.

"I love you too" I say.

I look over at the clock it's nearly midnight. "Hey guys it's nearly midnight!" I call.

We venture out on to the rooftop garden, it's bitterly cold and there are flurries of snow falling but the view over New York is spectacular, you can see for miles. We look towards the direction of Times Square in the distance, and both Gideon and Christian pull out their cell phones, keeping an eye on the time, then at midnight we see fireworks exploding in the sky.

I see Christian take Ana in his arms, "Happy new year baby" he says to her as he devours her, Gideon turns to me and runs his fingers down my cheek.

"Happy New Year Angel, you have made me so happy it has been the most enjoyable New Years Eve I have ever had, and I am looking forward to the coming year with you and our baby".

He touches my bump and then reaches in and kisses me so sweetly. I moan and deepen the kiss and Gideon immediately responds pulling me close. When we eventually break apart we hug Christian and Ana and then the four of us stand and watch the spectacular firework display over the New York skyline.

**oooOOOooo**

Gideon is standing next to me holding my hand as Raul attaches a small receiver under my collar, I glance across at Ana and Luke is attaching one to her as well as Christian paces around running his hands through his hair.

"This brings back memories" Ana says with a grin, and she glances at Christian and then Raul who shakes his head.

"Not a memory I wish to relive Mrs Grey" he says wryly, "I still have nightmares about when that gun went off!" he says.

"Are you sure you want to do this Angel?" Gideon asks me as he stares at me anxiously.

I turn and stroke his cheek and he leans into my touch.

"I have to, I need that tape gone. I have Ana with me and you guys will be listening in and we have security on standby, as far as I can see nothing can go wrong".

I try to sound confident but inside I just want to vomit, the thought of a tape out there showing what a slut I was makes me cringe, and its something I need to get rid of. It all became real this morning when Gideon handed us the Vidal Records all access passes. I can tell he wants to come with me, but he knows his presence will only inflame an already volatile situation.

I look at Ana again, she has a look of gritty determination in her eyes and when she catches my gaze she smiles encouragingly at me. Christian has stopped pacing now, probably because it is too much effort for him to continue to do so and now he is leaning heavily on his crutches and gripping them so tightly his knuckles are white. He is now a mask of impassiveness and we all know he is holding on to his emotions, the only thing that gives him away is those fisted hands gripping his crutches.

Raul and Luke double check the receivers and when they are happy they hand us the emergency cell phones.

"Ready?" Raul asks politely.

"As I'll ever be" I mutter.

Ana walks over and links her arm in mine and rubs her hand down my arm encouragingly. We head down to the cars, we are travelling with Raul in the Bentley while following behind is Luke with our worried husbands. In the end they decided to accompany us but will wait outside with the security, after giving us a solemn promise they wouldn't come charging in and interfere in any way.

"Wait" Ana says as I go to get in the Bentley.

I let out a snort of laughter and she grins widely as she pulls a roll of Duct Tape out of her purse and waves it at me before she walks over to the Merc and handing it to an astonished Luke.

"If either of them moves an inch from the car you are to use this on them!" she says.

Both Gideon and Christian smile and Luke laughs. It has given some much needed light heartedness to the situation. Ana returns and climbs into the Bentley beside me.

"Do you think they will stay out of it?" I ask her.

She shakes her head, "I'm sure they will try because they promised us that they would, but in reality I don't think they will be able to help themselves. You know what they are like, but I hope they do, because they will only make things worse if they come charging in all guns blazing".

Raul glances at us through the rear view mirror, and I realise that our husbands have just heard everything we have said, with the receivers we are wearing.

The drive to New Jersey is quite pleasant, there isn't a lot of traffic and we make good time. We pull up at the venue and Ana reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

"Just stand your ground, get the information we need and then we can leave," she says.

I nod, taking a deep breath I smile at her.

"Come on lets do this thing" I say with more confidence than I feel inside.

Raul gives us a final quick briefing and then he turns to Ana, "Mr Grey said no heroics," he says.

Ana grins and speaks into the receiver, "Message received and understood Christian" she pauses and rolls her eyes, "but I doubt Brett Kline will be armed," she adds sarcastically.

We head inside and I see the groupies waiting patiently. I cringe as I remember how I used to be just like them. We turn a corner and I see him, his platinum tipped spikes and heavily tattooed arms are achingly familiar to me and it stops me dead and I take in a sharp breath as I stare at him.

"Eva?" Ana says gently and tugs on my hand.

"I... I can't do this," I stammer.

Ana embraces me and whispers in my ear.

"Eva you can, do you want this coming out? If it hits the internet it will go viral in minutes, we need to stop this, because once it's out there it can't be contained again, and what happens a few years down the line when your child goes on the internet and stumbles across it, do you want that?"

I go cold at the thought and it gives me the encouragement I need to see this through.

"You're right, come on lets go," I say.

"Ok, come on, we find out how many hard copies there are, how many soft copies, what they want to do with them and as soon as we have that information we get the hell out and let Barney and security do the rest," she says to me.

I take a deep breath and we walk up to Brett. He hasn't seen us as he has with his back to us and is talking to fellow band member Darrin who smiles when he sees us coming, he recognises me and nods towards us.

Brett turns and immediately his eyes rake me over gleaming with lust. I feel sick to the stomach as I remember how I lived for him to look at me like that once.

"Eva you came" he says and reaches for me to hug me and kiss me, but I put my arm out to stop him and he looks hurt.

"Brett this is my friend Ana, she agreed to come with me as moral support" I say introducing her.

"Pleased to meet you in person Ana," he says politely noting the wedding ring on her finger as he shakes her hand.

"We met via video link when that thing came up with Marc's book" he explains quickly to me, then he turns back to Ana, "and I apologise for the way I spoke to you that day, it was out of line" he says, and Ana nods in acknowledgement. I watch as he glances at my left hand and a gasp leaves his mouth.

"You really did marry him?" he says in shock.

"I really did" I say and pull my shirt down tightly so my small bump becomes visible and he gasps again as his eyes fall on it but he doesn't say anything.

"Is there somewhere where we can talk in private?" I ask, as I am trying to remain calm and businesslike.

"Erm, yeah sure come this way everything is ready even though I wasn't sure that you'd show up" he says. I am watching him and he seems oddly nervous now and I wonder why.

He leads us to a small side room, and as he opens the door I see two men sitting inside. I recognise both of them. I turn to Ana and for the benefit of the receiver as well as Ana I introduce them.

"Ana this is Sam Yimara, he has been with the band since the early days, and he always fancied himself as the bands videographer," I look at him suspiciously; "I am guessing it was you who set up the cameras which caught the footage?" I add and he smiles smugly and nods his head.

I realise I am going to have say something as he didn't speak.

"I thought so, but what you fail to realise is I didn't give my permission to be filmed and I didn't have any idea I was being filmed which violates numerous privacy laws, and so now I know about this I could sue you" I smile sweetly at him as his smug grin vanishes and the colour drains from his face.

I stop and turn my attention to the second man who is sitting quietly and also looking incredibly smug. I look at Ana and wave my hand at the man, my anger starting rise at the sight of him.

"Ana this is Christopher Vidal, he is Gideon's brother and works for Vidal Records and my guess is he just wants this to come out to try and hurt Gideon, because he never got over his childish sibling rivalry or the fact Gideon is a better person all round than he will ever be," I say tightly.

Christopher's smug expression slips slightly at my words, but he quickly recovers. "Sit down Eva the sooner we get this sorted the better it will be for everyone, we want to use the footage, you want it buried so we both have to compromise, so sit down and lets compromise" he says in a commanding voice.

I glance at Ana who is becoming angrier and angrier, I sit down and Ana sits beside me. Brett opens his mouth to speak but I hold my hand up.

"Before we start how many copies are there out there?" I ask.

Brett sits down and smiles at me, "Just four hard copies. I have a hard copy, Sam has the original video and a copy on flash drive and we have one here for you," he places a flash drive on to the table and I stare at it as if it going to bite me, and I nod my head.

"Is that the truth?" I ask.

All three men nod. "Ok" I say and reach for the flash drive.

Sam pushes a laptop towards me for me to plug it in and view the video. Brett smiles encouragingly at me.

"It's honestly not that bad Eva, it's a little raw in places but that's what it was like with us" I nod and plug in the flash drive.

Immediately I see there are more people caught on this than just me and Brett and that makes me feel more positive. I go cold as I watch a younger me and Brett appear on the screen, I watch as I fall to my knees and open his trousers. I stop it unable to watch any more, tears start falling from my eyes.

"No, I can't" I say.

Ana leans forward and grips my hand, she pulls the flash drive out and pushes it into her pocket. She turns to the three men who are staring at us.

"Do you have permission from the other people caught on this film?" she asks mildly and Sam and Christopher's smug expressions slip a little more, but Christopher quickly recovers.

"A little editing can rectify that" he says, but he doesn't sound totally convincing.

I look between them all, Christopher looks slightly uncomfortable at this turn of events, and he is probably wondering about the repercussions of Gideon finding out he is involved. Sam Yimara still looks slightly more confident but after what Ana said he isn't as smug as he was, but Brett looks concerned, he comes around the table and tries to hug me. I hold out my hand and push him back and I shake my head.

"Don't come near me, I can't believe you actually think its ok to use this stuff. I was young and stupid and there are reasons why I was behaving like I was and it had nothing to do with you and I am ashamed of that girl and I am _not_ that girl anymore" I stop, tears flowing freely now.

I want Gideon at this moment more than anything. Ana puts her arm around me and quietly offers me comfort and I cling to her. I see Brett move and I turn and look at him. He is watching with obvious concern and he looks at Christopher and shakes his head.

"I won't do it" he says firmly, as he gestures towards me. "It's obvious she doesn't want this and I won't use her like this, not for something as trivial as publicity for the band, I love her too much. Marcus was right, you tried to tell me he had been pressured and gagged by Gideon, but he was telling the truth, Eva doesn't want any of this".

"You are failing to see the potential in the marketing story, Golden the single, telling the story of the girl you had a lost, the book your brother wrote detailing that story and then the video showing the story, it will be killer" Christopher pushes.

"I SAID NO" Brett shouts and slams his fist down on the table, "can't you see she doesn't want this, I won't do that to her, why are you so keen to do this, it can't be for the band what is your angle on this?"

I look up at Christopher through my tears, "it's to try and humiliate Gideon, to get one over on his brother, he hates Gideon and always has. He hates the fact Gideon has the majority share of Vidal records when in reality he did it to prevent the company from folding. He sees Gideon as a rival someone to beat at all costs, he hates the fact his brother is richer and more successful than he is, he hates the fact people approach him to try and get an introduction to his brother. He is quite simply the spoilt brat who can't stand the fact his brother is better in every way and more successful than he is and in his pathetic warped hatred of his brother, he tries to destroy anything, everything and everyone Gideon has," I spit at him.

"You fucking bitch!" Christopher screams "You know nothing, he got all the attention growing up, he threw tantrums and everyone jumped and ran around after him, I got pushed out because of him, even mom got sick of him and his antics" he cries.

Ana stands up and slaps her hand on the table. "Stop it and calm down" she says firmly she turns to Brett, "so am I correct in assuming that you are not going to pursue this any further?" she asks and Brett nods firmly.

"No way, I had no idea Eva was so against it he tried to assure me she would be up for it" he says. Ana nods and turns to Sam Yimara, "what about you, taking into consideration the legalities of what you did, what is your stance?" we all turn to look at Sam who smiles.

"I'm sure I could be persuaded to sell you the hard copies in my possession for a decent price" he says. I see Brett scowl and he lurches forward and punches Sam in the face.

"You will not profit from it," he snarls, he reaches into Sam's inside pocket and pulls out another flash drive and drops it on the floor stamping on it smashing it. He turns to Eva.

"Eva, Sam has an original video of the footage, you have a hard copy and I have one" he reaches into his pocket and throws the drive on to the table. "I have just destroyed that one. That is all the hard copies. Sam has a soft copy on his home computer system apart from that I have no idea who else has one then he glances at Christopher who shuffles in his seat.

"My guess he has a copy" Brett says nodding towards Christopher, "I'm sorry Eva I really am, Marc tried to tell me you didn't want this but I wouldn't listen but now I know, I swear I won't mention it again" he says.

"Well I might as well go then, you have just made the biggest mistake of your life Kline" Christopher says and strolls out of the room.

Moments later we hear raised voices in the hall way and Christopher comes crashing back through the door, flying across the room into a heap in the corner, his nose is clearly broken and bleeding profusely. In the doorway is a furious Gideon he stalks in and he pulls me to my feet and holds me tightly. A few moments later Christian appears and walks straight to Ana. I just break down and sob into his chest and cling to him as if he is a life raft.

"You made the right decision Kline," Gideon growls, "I will ensure your single gets the appropriate publicity and the band gets all advantages to be successful as long as you assure me you will not pursue my wife and you will never ever speak of this tape again".

Brett nods, "You have my word Mr Cross" he says.

Gideon looks at Sam "as for you, you piece of shit, you will be hearing from my attorneys, attempted blackmail should be enough for starters" he says.

Sam snorts "What proof do you have Cross?" he says.

Ana steps forward and lifts the collar of her coat, and smiles as Sam pales.

"Game over asshole," she whispers to him sarcastically.


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

"What the fuck is that?" Sam splutters, trying to regain some sort of control.

I look at him and smile, "the same as this".

I lift my collar and show him the receiver I have pinned to me. "Everything all of you have said has been caught and recorded, and my husband was listening outside to everything, every damn word," I look over to Christopher who is desperately trying to stop his broken nose from bleeding.

"Which also explains the reason why you are in a heap over there with a bleeding nose, you see my husband doesn't take kindly to people calling me a fucking bitch. I'm also guessing your dad probably wouldn't be too impressed either, should he get to hear some of the things you have said today, and for what you have been trying to do".

I stop and smirk at him and watch as he too pales at my words.

I turn back to Sam, "as for you, do you realise what deep shit you are in? Filming without permission, invasion of privacy not only mine but all the other people in that video who had no idea they were being filmed, not to mention attempted extortion and blackmail when I made it clear I did not want the footage shown".

I am feeling stronger now Gideon is beside me, the warmth from his body leaching into mine is giving me the confidence to stand up to these men. I walk over to Sam and he cowers away. I look at him derisively.

"Look at you, you worthless piece of shit, here's what you are going to do Sam you are going to get every last copy of that damn video and you are going to give them to me – oh, and just so we are clear, I am not going pay you for them. You have until the end of this week to do that and if all the hard copies are not in my possession by that point along with a written and signed affidavit that no hard or soft copies of this video exist I will sue the fucking pants off you, my husband has a team of expensive lawyers so it is in your best interests to do as I say, oh and if you do as I say and then other copies come to light later I will sue the fucking pants off you".

I stop and wait for a response staring at him with my eyebrows raised in question. Sam nods at me but doesn't say a word. I turn to Brett, and I sigh and I offer him a small smile.

"I'm sorry Brett; I'm not the girl I was then. I would like to stay friends, but I love my husband" I turn and reach for Gideon and he immediately wraps his arm protectively around me.

Brett nods sadly, "I understand, and I'm sorry," he points at Christopher, "he told me you would be fine about it, if I knew how upset you really were I'd never have even contemplated it".

He pauses and then he steps towards me, "I love you Eva, I always have. Why did you go? You just left?" he reaches for me and I take a step back, holding out my hand to stop him coming any closer.

"Don't Brett please, its ancient history, we were just fuck buddies nothing more, if I wasn't there to put out you'd have picked someone else to screw so don't try and make it into something it wasn't" I say.

His eyes harden and he shakes his head adamantly, "No Eva, you're wrong. You were special to me, you still are, I love you," he insists and he tries to step towards me again, he stops as Gideon takes a threatening step forward, I reach out and hold on to Gideon's arm and squeeze his hand gently.

"Gideon" I say carefully.

Brett sighs and shakes his head, "I don't have any choice do I?" he says sadly, and with that he turns and goes to walks out the door, as he reaches it he stops and turns.

"Not now, but sometime in the future I'd like to see you Eva, just to talk and maybe you can explain why you just went, because I'd like to know... just for closure, as I'll always be wondering," he stops and looks hopefully at me.

I nod, "Ok, I'll call you, we'll have lunch or something and we can talk" I say.

I realise I owe him that much, he has been decent about all of this, so it's the least I can do. I feel Gideon stiffen at my words and I stroke his arm reassuringly. Brett smiles and leaves the room a little happier, I look up at Gideon.

"I owe him that much" I say, and after considering my words he nods once curtly.

I turn to Sam, "You can go now as well asshole, and remember what I said" I say.

Sam nods at me and taking a shot look at Gideon scrambles to his feet and leaves quickly. I turn my attention now to face Christopher. My anger starts to rise as I look at him. I let go of Gideon and move out of his hold as I cross the room and stand over Christopher who is huddled on the floor, blood still dripping from his nose.

I nudge him with my toe, "Get up you fucking reptile," I sneer.

He glares at me and doesn't move so I reach down and grab him by the jacket, "I said fucking get up!" I say sharply.

Gideon steps forward and Christopher quickly struggles to his feet glaring at Gideon.

"You broke my nose" he whines.

Gideon snorts, "Be thankful it wasn't your neck" he says.

"I know all about you Christopher," I say moving closer to him.

I have waited for this moment and I am now going to enjoy it.

"You were also a child when unspeakable things happened to your brother" Gideon takes a step forward and speaks interrupting my flow.

"Angel" he says with a note of warning in his voice.

I turn and smile reassuringly at him, "It's ok baby, trust me" I say.

I turn back to Christopher and continue my tirade, "as I was saying, you were a child so as such you can't be held totally responsible for what you did at that time. But the fact you lied to your mother about what you heard and saw just because you were jealous of your brother was wrong, sibling rivalry as children is understandable, but what is totally unforgivable is the way you have refused to grow up and put aside that rivalry and instead you let it fester and the bitterness grow into such hatred that you are also prepared to destroy anyone who comes into contact with Gideon and you made a huge mistake thinking I would let you".

I step closer so I am right in his face and I poke him hard in the chest, "you made the biggest mistake of your life when you tried to use me to hurt Gideon, one which you will now live to regret – trust me!"

I have a plan forming in my mind to once and for all stop the bitterness within this family and help Gideon to heal, either that or it will completely blow them apart for good. But either way my plan is to give Gideon the closure he deserves.

We arrive back in New York and as we are making our way to the elevator Christian's phone buzzes.

"Grey" he says sharply as he answers.

We all look towards him, "that's brilliant news, thank you Barney... yes... right... ok... well keep searching, thank you bye Barney".

Christian smiles widely and looks at us all. "Barney has accessed Christopher Vidal's computer and there was a soft copy on his work PC and in his cloud storage and from there he has managed to trace back to their sources – namely Sam Yimara, and he deleted them from there as well, he has accessed Christopher Vidal's home PC and also wiped that clear of the footage. He is currently in the process of tacking down all soft copies which Yimara and Kline have forwarded elsewhere.

"How did he manage that?" Gideon asks in astonishment.

Christian smiles, "It's best not to ask those sorts of questions," he says.

When we step into the apartment I turn to Gideon, "I need to make a call" I say.

He nods at me and I leave him with Christian and Ana and head into the bedroom. I pull out my phone and call Raul. He answers almost immediately.

"Raul, it's Eva, I need to talk to you," I say urgently, the plan is forming in my mind.

"Mrs Cross, may I say you did very well in there, I will be stopping by to collect the receivers from yourself and Mrs Grey later," he says.

"Thank you Raul, I need you to do something for me please," I say.

"Of course Mrs Cross what do you need?" he answers.

"The rant Christopher had about Gideon, and when he insulted me, I want a copy of it please" I say firmly.

"Certainly Mrs Cross, may I ask why?" he says.

"You may, I am going to confront his mother with it let her see what a low life asswipe her younger son is, and make her realise it was sibling rivalry and that she needs to take her part of the blame for that, also I need to borrow a receiver as I want to record a conversation with someone else as part of this," I say.

"Who are you planning to confront Mrs Cross?" Raul asks carefully.

I pause and sigh, "Gideon doesn't know about this, I want to do this for him for him, to get his closure" I stop and wait.

"Mrs Cross am I right in assuming from what you have said that you are asking me to help you and not make Mr Cross aware of your intentions?" he asks.

"I am, I will tell him when it's done, and hopefully he will get the result he needs," I say cryptically.

There is a silence for a moment and then Raul speaks again, "Alright Mrs Cross I will help you on the understanding that you will inform Mr Cross of your intentions, as I cannot in good conscience keep things from him," he says.

"Thank you Raul, I understand that and I take full responsibility, I need the receiver for a conversation I plan to have with a Dr Terry Lucas" I say.

"I see Mrs Cross, I take it you are not going to tell me why?" he asks.

"No, it's not my story to tell, but you will become aware of the detail when I confront him but I trust you to keep anything you hear at that point to yourself" I say.

"You have my word Mrs Cross" Raul says.

"Thank you Raul, I'll be in touch to organise a time" I say.

Raul gives me his agreement and understanding and I kill the call. My mind is working overtime piecing things together and I go out to the main room and catch Ana's attention and she follows me to the kitchen. I quickly go through my intended plan and ask her if she would be prepared to help me, and she agrees immediately.

"Are you going to tell Gideon about this?" she asks.

"Yes when I've done it" I say.

"I need to try and get some sort of confession from Lucas, but even if I don't I could perhaps get some useful snippet which will make his mother realise she was lied to".

I stop and I smack my hand down on the work surface, "He deserves his closure Ana, and until he gets it there is no way he will heal".

Tears start to fill my eyes, "I love him so much Ana, and it kills me that I can't sleep with him at night, his nightmares happen far too regularly, but if he gets this closure and some sort of acknowledgement from his mother, it can only help, can't it?" I look at Ana and she smiles at me.

"I would have thought so, but you have to remember he has lived with this so long on his own, and lived with the denial and disbelief, it's all he's known, you need to do this carefully or it could have the opposite effect and backfire spectacularly and you don't want or need that. But I will help you in any way I can" she says, she steps forward and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you Ana" I say feeling confident again that I am doing the right thing. "Come on let's get back or they will be wondering what we are doing in here" I say.

I hardly get the words out of my mouth when the kitchen door opens and Gideon and Christian both appear.

"What are you two up to in here?" Gideon asks, walking towards me and wrapping his arm around me.

I look up at him, "I was just talking to Ana" I say.

"About what?" he asks.

"Just stuff" I say evasively and wrap my arms around him.

We head back out to the sitting room and a short while later Raul appears to take the receivers away. I look meaningfully at him and then smile and he nods in response. Ana thanks him as he takes her receiver and he nods in acknowledgement to her.

As we sit chatting, I turn to Christian and ask a question, which I am surprised I hadn't thought of before.

"How long are you two staying in New York for?" I ask.

Christian looks at Ana, "I'm not sure, I need to head back to Seattle soon as I am going back to work and I have a couple of large acquisitions which need my attention, so probably tomorrow," he says.

"Oh" I look at Ana in disappointment, she realises that I am thinking about my trip to see Dr Lucas, and she turns to Christian.

"Christian, could I stay here until next weekend, as Eva and I had plans?" she asks.

Christian doesn't look happy about that idea and looks at Ana, he is shaking his head before he even opens his mouth, "Baby, I'm not happy about leaving you here in New York," he says.

Gideon looks up and speaks, "She is welcome to stay here with us if you are uncomfortable about her being at your apartment alone, it would be good for her to relax a little with Eva and enjoy herself, it's been a very trying time recently for her" he looks at Christian meaningfully and Christian thinks about this.

I could kiss my husband for saying that, as he unwittingly is helping our plans and both Ana and I hold our breath as Christian consider what he said. Eventually he seems to come to a decision and he looks directly at Ana and speaks.

"You will stay here, and Luke stays in New York with you," he says firmly.

Ana squeals and flings her arms around him, "Thank you" she says then looks at me triumphantly and I grin back at her.

Ok then time to put Operation Lucas on go!

**oooOOOooo**

**(ANA)**

The airport is cold and wintry, and my husband is clinging to me. I am trying to reason with him that I will be coming home at the weekend in just three days time.

Eva went through with me what she wants to do, and the people she wants to confront. I am actually looking forward to meeting Gideon's mother, with my experience with my own piss poor excuse of a mother I am interested to see if she has any shred of decency at all.

But at this moment I am concentrating on getting my husband back to Seattle.

"I really don't want to leave you here Ana" Christian says as he refuses to release me.

"Christian please, it's three days. Eva starts her new job on Monday at Cross Industries, I start at Grey Publishing, we have the trial coming up next month and before we know it Eva will have her baby then our baby will be born, so this is probably the last time we will get in a while to just spend some girly time together, you aren't going to deny me that are you?"

I know I'm trying to make him feel guilty and I know it's a low blow but it works.

"Of course not baby. I'm just a selfish man and I want you with me" Christian replies with a guilty expression on his face, which makes me feel bad for saying what I said.

I touch his face and press a kiss to his lips, "Look I'll call you regularly, and we can Facetime whenever you want, just let me have this time," I say.

Christian smiles and nods at me and then leans in and kisses me soundly, "I'll miss you" he says.

"I know, and I'll miss you too but look you need to go now, or you will miss your take off slot and I need to get back into the city as I am meeting Eva after she and Gideon are finished at the hospital, having their scan".

Christian nods at me and kisses me again, "Keep Luke close and stay out of trouble," he says.

"I'll do my best" I say with a grin, and I watch him as he turns from me and slowly climbs the steps of the plane.

When he reaches the top he turns and balancing on his crutches waves to me, and I blow him a kiss, he blows one back and then he is gone. The doors of the plane close and the steps are removed. I wait until the plane has taken off before I return to the car where Luke is standing waiting.

"Ready Mrs Grey?" he says I nod and he opens the door to the car and I climb in as soon as we are both in the car Luke turns and faces me.

"Raul has told me you are planning on helping Mrs Cross with something she has planned".

I nod at him but don't say anything, but my heart sinks, I know he will tell Christian, Christian will tell Gideon and Eva's plans will be destroyed.

"I'm not involved so there is nothing to worry about. She wants to get closure for Gideon for the things which happened to him, please don't tell Christian," I beg.

Luke looks carefully at me, "Raul has assured me that he believes there is no significant danger in what Mrs Cross has planned from what she has told him. So as long as you can assure me the same, I am prepared to play it by ear and as long as I get the final veto, so if I feel you are in any danger I will make the call and I will pull you out and I will expect you to obey me. If we have that understanding, then I will be happy not to inform Mr Grey of your plans, until they have been completed".

He stops and stares at me and I know this is the best and only deal I am going to get, so I agree, I am also fully aware that Luke is risking his job by making this concession.

"I totally understand Luke and I thank you, but I really don't think that there will be any issues with this" I say.

"What exactly is Mrs Cross planning to do?" he asks.

I hesitate, thinking how I can tell him without giving away Gideon's story which I promised I would keep confidential, I know Taylor knows of some of it but I don't think Luke knows.

"Eva wants to confront people who have wronged Gideon – including his mother and I am just there for moral support as I know the details of _how_ they wronged him, details which I can't go into as I was told in confidence" I stop and look at Luke and he smiles at me.

"Ok, we will leave it at that for now as long as we understand each other Ana. Any hint of trouble and I am pulling you out immediately," he says firmly.

"I understand" I say.

_Meanwhile, across town at the hospital..._

**(EVA)**

"Gideon please relax, stop worrying" I say as my husband paces around the doctors office.

We are waiting for our doctor to arrive, she has been delayed but eventually the doors open and she arrives beaming at us.

"I'm sorry about the delay, babies don't tend to stick to schedules and come when they feel like it" she says.

We quickly go through the formalities and she checks everything is in order Gideon watches as all the usual tests and examinations are done and I am proclaimed to be in rude health, then we go through to the ultrasound room. I hop up on to the bed and Gideon sits down beside me. He grips my hand tightly and waits.

"Excuse me Doctor, when is the earliest you will be able to tell the sex of the baby?" Gideon asks.

She smiles at him, "Well its too early at present, this is your 12 week scan, normally if you are lucky the earliest is around 14 weeks but I generally don't like to commit myself until 18 weeks".

Gideon nods but I can see he is clearly disappointed.

"So I take it you are planning on finding out what you are having before the birth?" she says glancing between us.

I nod and Gideon beams, "We are, I don't mind what sex the baby is, I just want to know," he says.

He squeezes my hand and waits for the scan to begin.

The doctor runs the wand over my small bump and our baby appears on the screen and I gasp, before it was just a small blob, now it is clearly human shaped, Gideon stares fixed at the screen a look of awe on his face.

"Would you look at that" he whispers, "that's our baby Angel".

He leans closer and just stares mesmerised, his reaction is incredibly moving as he is so invested in this.

"I would like a picture of that" he says, and the doctor nods and freezes the screen.

She prints off a picture and hands it to Gideon, he pours over it and touches it reverently.

"My child" he whispers.

Then he shakes his head, almost in disbelief at the concept. His attention is drawn back to the doctor who is taking measurements and checking things out.

"Is everything alright?" Gideon asks anxiously, the doctor looks up and smiles.

"Everything is absolutely fine, as far as I can see everything is as it should be for this stage, congratulations.

We finish up and make another appointment I have also been given a picture and I slip it into my purse and I look at Gideon who is still clutching his precious picture and staring awestruck at it. When we get outside Angus is waiting and Gideon wastes no time in showing off his picture to him.

"Would you look at that Angus, that is my child" he says proudly, thrusting the scan photograph at Angus.

Angus takes the picture and smiles, "Well isn't that the finest thing you ever did see" he says as he looks at the small grainy picture.

He hands it back to Gideon and slaps him on the shoulder and whispers something to him which I don't catch but Gideon smiles widely and tears appear in his eyes.

Angus takes Gideon to the Crossfire and drops him off and before he climbs out, he turns and pulls me into his lap and kisses me soundly.

"What are your plans now Angel?" he asks.

I glance at my watch again, "I am meeting up with Ana" I say with a grin.

He nods and kisses me again, "I'll see you later then" he says.

We say our goodbyes and then Angus drives me to a small cafe near Bryant Park where I am meeting Ana. I thank Angus for the ride and watch as he pulls away before walking inside to Ana. She has already arrived and Luke is sitting a few feet away with Raul.

We embrace, and greet each other enthusiastically.

"How did it go?" Ana asks keeping her question vague.

I smile, "Very well, all is well and as it should be" I answer equally vaguely, the last thing we want is to be overheard and news of the pregnancy to be leaked to the media.

We head back to the Penthouse where we can talk freely and discuss things in private. When we arrive Luke and Raul disappear and Ana and I sit down and we discuss what the plan of action is.

"Right then" I say taking charge, "Firstly we are going to Dr Lucas's office I have secured us an appointment and we will see what we can drag out of him, that will be all for today as if we get anything I will need that to confront Gideon's mom, so if we manage it we will perhaps go there tomorrow and then we tell Gideon what we have done, he will tell Christian and possibly world war three will ensue," I say dryly.

Ana giggles, "It will be fine, I need to ask though what if you don't get anything from Dr Lucas?" she asks.

"Oh he'll talk, he will be desperate to tell me what an asshole Gideon is for sleeping with his wife, so I'm hoping I use that to get him to slip up and tell us what we really want to know," I say.

"What?" Ana asks the shock evident on her face at this piece of information.

I quickly outline the story Gideon told me about the whole sorry situation with Dr Terry Lucas.

"Yes, well when Gideon found out that Lucas had lied to his mother he got his revenge by sleeping with his wife, but my guess is that sleeping with her was also some sort of warped revenge against Hugh as well, as she was his sister," I say soberly.

My mind goes back to the evening when Gideon had told me all about it along with the reasons why, it had been not long into our relationship, I had told him all my secrets he had listened and then told me he understood more than I realised, I had wondered what he meant and I will never forget what he said.

My mind wanders back to that evening shortly after we had met...

_"So that's my story, not a pleasant one, but one you need to be aware of" I say looking warily at Gideon who looks absolutely stunned._

_"Where is Nathan now?" he asks._

_I shake my head, "I don't know and to be quite honest I'd like to keep it that way, I'm not sure what I'd do if he found me again, and that's why I like to keep under the radar" I say looking at Gideon._

_He reaches for me and pulls me into his lap._

_"Angel, you have me now to protect you, I swear I won't let him anywhere near you" he says fiercely. I turn and capture his mouth with mine and kiss him sweetly._

_"Thank you that means a lot" I say._

_"I know what its like to go through something so heinous" he stops and looks at me, I turn so I am facing him._

_"What?!" I ask in shocked surprise, I look at him and he looks down clearly ashamed, I touch his face, "Look at me, what happened to you Gideon?" I ask carefully._

_He shakes his head and shuts his eyes._

_"Hey, it's ok" I say and wrap my arms tightly around him, offering comfort. I feel his arms snake around my waist and he grips me tightly he takes a deep breath and to my surprise he begins to speak._

_"My father committed suicide when I was a child, my mother quickly remarried and built herself a new life, one which I didn't feel a part of, she married Chris Vidal and quickly got pregnant with my brother Christopher, I just didn't have a place there. I was a reminder of her old life, I was in the way" he stops and rests his head on my shoulder. He takes another deep breath before continuing._

_"I was confused, angry and sad, my whole life, everything I knew had gone and I had been thrust into this new life, so I acted out. I'd have these epic tantrums, I'd throw things and generally behave like a brat" he stops and I can tell he is ashamed of himself._

_"You were hurting, and you were a child so it was the only way you could express that hurt, don't beat yourself up about it" I say gently._

_Gideon nods against me and then after a moment speaks again._

_"When Christopher started copying me, Chris and my mother decided to put me into therapy, a therapist and her assistant came to the house to see me. By this point my mother was pregnant with Ireland, and she was having a rough time with the pregnancy, and trying to deal with two out of control boys. The therapist ended up spending more time with her than me and I was left with her assistant more and more often. He said the reason I was behaving like I was… was because I was going through puberty and he said I needed to masturbate to release the feelings I was having, he said he'd show me how do it... he said I wasn't doing it right, and that he'd show me how to do it, so I let him touch me" he stops talking and I feel him going rigid from the memory of that time._

_"Oh my god, Gideon, he groomed you into thinking it was ok and then he abused you!" I gasp._

_He nods, "it got worse, he started touching me elsewhere and pushing his fingers inside my ass then... one day... he... raped me"._

_The shocked silence fills the room, "Oh baby come here" I say as I feel his tears on my shoulder, I run my hands reassuringly down his back as he clings to me._

_"It's ok, I'm here, and you're safe," I say soothingly._

_Gideon looks up and straight into my eyes, "Do you believe me?" he asks almost incredulously._

_I stare at him, "Of course I believe you" I say, slightly offended he should think I wouldn't after telling him about my past._

_I see the hope and relief on his face as he stares at me._

_"What is it?" I ask._

"_The only other people I've ever told are my mother, Christian and Ana, Angus and Christian's parents and they only know because it came out when we telling them something which had happened to Christian. I now have more people who believe me than who don't" he says looking at me incredulously._

_"What! Who didn't believe you?" I ask thinking that what sort of friends would doubt him._

_"My mother didn't believe me, I told her and she spoke to my brother, he had heard things but he denied everything and said nothing had happened, she took me to a paediatric doctor, who lied to her and told her nothing had happened to me and she believed him, but it turned out that he was covering for the assistant who raped me, as he was his brother in law. My mother and I are estranged and have been since that time. When I confided in Ana and Christian I was overwhelmed when they believed me… and now… and now you believe me too"._

_I cup his face with my hands and look into his eyes, "I believe you Gideon" I say firmly I see tears welling up in his eyes and he squeezes me tightly to him. He looks up at me and before I can stop myself I say the words which have been desperate to come out for a while now._

_"I love you" I whisper to him._

_I see him take a sharp breath in and he stares at me, not saying a word. "It's ok, you don't have to say anything or do anything, I just wanted to let you know how I feel" I say._

_"Thank you, I don't deserve that love though" he says sadly,_

_I stare at him, "Why?" I ask._

_He looks uncomfortable and looks down "I got my revenge on Dr Lucas a few years ago, he was at some charity function with his wife, I saw her and she reminded me of Hugh in looks and mannerisms, I made a play for her I flirted with her because I wanted him to feel as bad as I had done. Anne – that's his wife, she was easy and I soon had her begging for it… and I fucked her. I played her and when she was ready to leave Lucas for me, I sent her back to him" he says, still not making eye contact with me._

_"Oh Gideon" I say sadly..._

"Eva, are you listening to me?" I hear Ana's voice and am pulled from my thoughts back to the present.

"Sorry Ana what did you say?" I ask.

She grins at me, "I said, so when we are going to speak to Dr Liar?" she says.


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER 49

"I said so when we are going to speak to Dr Liar?" Ana says grinning at me, "You said today, when today?"

"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere then... erm... yes, the appointment is at two o clock" I say.

As I say this Raul appears with the receivers and hands them to me.

"Here you go Mrs Cross, I hope you get what you need," he says.

"Thank you Raul, would you mind driving us over to Dr Lucas' office?" I ask.

He nods, "Certainly".

He turns to Ana, "Mrs Grey, Luke Sawyer will be travelling with us and listening in to the proceedings while you are both inside" he says and Ana nods with a resigned look on her face.

Raul leaves and Ana turns to me, "I'm sorry Eva, but Raul told Luke and it was the only way I could stop Luke telling Christian what we were doing. We agreed that he listens in and if he thinks there is any danger he pulls me out," she looks apologetically at me and I smile at her.

"Don't worry Ana, I can understand why you agreed, if he had told Christian he would have been turning the plane around not to mention on the phone straight away to Gideon and we all know what would have happened then". I shake my head at the thought.

We have some lunch and I show Ana the scan picture, as we talk about babies our conversation inevitably veers towards Dr Lucas and how he could lie about something as serious as the rape of a child.

"It makes me feel sick to even think about it" Ana says.

"Gideon was traumatised enough as it was with the death of his father, but then to be subjected to that, and then disbelieved and called a liar when he asked for help, it makes me so angry, that man should be struck off and have his licence revoked, he shouldn't be allowed to practice".

"I know, we need to know how we are going to approach this, if we go in all guns blazing he will just clam up and throw us out," I say.

Ana looks at me her mind clearly working, "How about we go in as though we are checking out paediatricians I mean we are both pregnant we need to make sure the health professional we pick for our children is someone fit to hold the post" the way she looks at me as she says this gets my mind working.

"Oh Ana that's a brilliant idea, I can feel a plan coming together" I say.

_Meanwhile, across town at the Crossfire..._

**(GIDEON)**

I can't stop staring at the picture the doctor gave me this morning; I want to shout from the rooftops that my wife is pregnant and that I am going to be a father. I take a photo of the scan picture and send it with a short message to Christian.

_**Hi, let me introduce you to my child!**_

I smile as I send it, I don't expect a response as I know he is still in the air on his way home to Seattle. I should be working but all I can do is sit and stare at the picture, I can't believe I helped to make a life, I am going to be someone's father.

The thought is terrifying but also thrilling and I hope I will be a good father. Eva will be a wonderful mother I just know it, I will just try and not fuck things up, which is how I generally approach everything these days to do with my personal life.

I am surprised when my phone buzzes and I see it's a response from Christian.

_**I am so happy for you**_

I smile and text a reply.

_**Thank you, it was a totally surreal experience, seeing that new life on the screen and knowing I helped to make it.**_

The response comes back after a slight delay.

_**I know I felt the same.**_

Shit, I'm so fucking stupid, here I am crowing about seeing my child and Christian has already been through this, but never actually got the child at the end of it, I feel terrible now and I quickly type an apologetic response.

_**I am a stupid fuck, I am so sorry.**_

_**No don't be, Ana and I have a second chance at parenthood, we will never forget our son but we have to look forward, don't apologise, you deserve this.**_

I try and push my guilt aside and decide to change the subject and get on to a more neutral topic.

_**How come you are texting? I thought you were in the air, flying home to Seattle?**_

_**Stop off in Chicago, looking at a company I am thinking of buying.**_

_**I see, I'll let you get on then.**_

_**Talk to you soon my friend and congratulations!**_

I tuck my phone into my pocket and decide to try and drag my attention away from this remarkable picture and actually do some work today.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

I am pinning the receiver to Ana and she is pinning one to me and we look at each other, this is it. We are actually going to do this.

"Ready?" Ana says.

I nod, as we turn I see Luke and Raul waiting.

"Ready ladies?" Luke says and he grins at us.

I return the grin and we all head out.

Ana and I go over our plan and when we pull up outside Dr Lucas's office we look at each other, this is it.

Luke turns and speaks to Ana as we go to leave the car.

"I will be listening in here Mrs Grey, any hint of trouble and I am coming in and fetching you out, understand?" he says firmly.

"Understood" Ana replies with a nod.

We enter the building and present ourselves at the desk, we are booked in and told to take a seat.

"Ok we pretend we know nothing" I whisper and Ana nods.

We are called and we stand, look at each other and enter Dr Lucas' office.

As we walk in Dr Lucas stands and he immediately is on his guard, he knows who I am and he is clearly wary. Ana takes the lead and walks towards him her hand outstretched.

"Good morning Dr Lucas, my name is Anastasia Grey and this is my good friend Eva Cross, we are both in the process of searching out a reputable paediatrician for Eva" she pauses and flashes a confident smile at him, it does the trick and he lowers his guard slightly.

"Mrs Grey pleased to meet you, may I ask why you are involved?" he says.

Ana nods, "Oh just moral support, and as my mother in law is a paediatrician I know the sort of questions to ask" she replies innocently.

"Oh, may I ask who your mother in law is?" Dr Lucas asks carefully.

"You may, my mother in law is Dr Trevelyan in Seattle, she is the adoptive mother of my husband Christian and a wonderful woman" she stops, looking closely at Dr Lucas' reaction, I too watch and he seems to pale at that name.

"So you are _that_ Anastasia Grey and your husband is Christian Grey, I thought you looked familiar" Dr Lucas says.

He is clearly nervous by this revelation and gestures for us to sit down, but he remains standing. I take a seat and Ana sits beside me. She looks at me innocently and I try hard not to laugh she is killing it.

"What do you want to ask Eva?" she says.

I look at Ana, we have planned this and I hope it doesn't look too contrived.

"I'm not sure what to ask to be honest" I say.

I think for a moment and go with my gut on what to say next it's not what we had planned but I feel it is the right thing to say, "but I'm not feeling a very friendly vibe from Dr Lucas" I add and chance a look at Dr Lucas, and he sighs and sits down.

"I'm sorry ladies, but there are some things you should know before we continue, I am not comfortable with this as there is... history between myself and your husband" he looks at Eva as he says this.

"Oh?" I ask hoping I look clueless as to what it could be.

He sighs and rubs his forehead, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mrs Cross, but I don't believe your husband is a good man, he... has done some morally questionable things in the past" he stops.

I have to stop myself from snorting at that remark, as nothing is more morally questionable than covering up child abuse.

Ana leans forward, "Dr Lucas, are you saying that because you have a problem with Gideon Cross from the past, you are unwilling to take his wife as a patient now?"

She stares at him, "because unless it was something criminally wrong, personal opinions of people shouldn't come into it and Eva shouldn't be judged on her husband or his past".

Dr Lucas smiles, "I'm sorry Mrs Grey, but what Gideon Cross did was morally wrong, he slept with my wife".

Ana gasps and puts her hand up to her throat, I have to cover my face with my hand as I want to laugh, as she is giving a performance worthy of an Oscar. I lower my head to compose myself and Ana carries on the conversation pushing for answers.

"When? Why?... Oh my gosh that's terrible, how awful for you, but surely Dr Lucas your wife is as responsible as Gideon, he can't take all the blame for it, if your wife was a willing participant?" She stops and Dr Lucas looks uncomfortable.

"Unless you are telling me Gideon Cross..."

His head whips up in shock at the insinuation and then he shakes his head firmly quickly denying it, "No no, not at all it was all totally consensual, but you have to understand, why he did it. I believe that he did it to get back at me, he used my wife to get revenge on me," he says, I watch him and he is clearly losing his self control and is regretting saying that.

I look up, this is it if we can get this, if we can prove he lied, but surely he won't admit it. I lean forward. "What happened between you and my husband to make him want to seek revenge?" I ask.

Dr Lucas shakes his head, "That is not up for discussion, it was a long time ago" he says. We were anticipating this and Ana stands up.

"If that is the case Dr Lucas, then you shouldn't have any issues with taking Eva as a patient now, if it is ancient history, it should have no impact on your role as a paediatrician now, should it?" she asks.

Dr Lucas starts pacing, "Look I don't think I will be able to take you as a patient Mrs Cross, I'm sorry but the last thing I want is your husband coming in here and raking up ancient history, I think it would be best if you leave," he stops and gestures towards the door.

I stand up now, I'm close I can feel it, "I want to know what happened between you and my husband before I leave, why did my husband feel the need to get revenge on you, what did you do to him to make him think you had wronged him so badly, as to sleep with your wife?" I ask.

Dr Lucas shakes his head, "I'm not at liberty to discuss that, due to patient confidentiality" he stops.

Ana leaps in, and jumps on that, "So Gideon was a patient of yours?" she asks.

"Yes... no, his mother brought him to me but he wasn't a patient of mine" he says now seriously anxious and agitated.

We are so close I can taste it, a little more pushing and we will have this. "Please I must ask you to leave, I have said too much as it is, and I am bound by patient confidentiality to say anything more" he gestures towards the door again.

Ana cocks her head to one side and leans on the table, "Dr Lucas, if Gideon Cross wasn't a patient of yours then you are not bound by patient confidentiality, you are clearly hiding something which is worrying to me, you say Gideon's mother brought him to see you, which says to me she needed your opinion on something am I right?"

He nods so Ana quickly confirms that nod for the receiver, "Ok Dr Lucas you have just nodded at me so my theory here is you made a mistake with a diagnosis of something, is that why Gideon is upset with you?" she asks mildly.

"No, I did not make a mistake, I am a good physician I do not make mistakes," he snaps arrogantly, and with this Ana goes in for the kill.

"Well in that case, if Gideon's mother came to you for a consultation and if you did not make a mistake, then the only other reason I could see why Gideon would be upset enough for revenge, upset enough to sleep with your wife is if you mislead or lied to his mother about a diagnosis?" she stops, and Dr Lucas goes deathly white and sits down with a thud.

"Get out" he growls.

I speak up now, I stand and glare at him, "Your expression and the fact every last ounce of colour has drained from your face tells me we have just hit the nail on the head, what did you do Dr Lucas, what did you lie about?" I ask.

"I said Get. Out!" he says firmly and quietly.

"Not until you tell me" I persist.

Ana leans forward, "Let me help you here Dr Lucas, let me jog your memory. Gideon's mother came to you, to find out if her son had been raped by your brother in law, and you lied to cover up for him didn't you?"

She raises her eyebrows and the look of shock on his face at this has me reaching for my phone, his guilt is written all over his face and I quickly snap a photograph capturing that guilt.

"How did you know about that...? I mean GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW BEFORE I CALL SECURITY!" he yells standing up again.

"Now now Dr Lucas that is no way to talk to a pregnant woman," I say, "we are going now, we have what we came for, you have confirmed your guilt by your reactions, you lied to protect your family, you refused to acknowledge the crime of a child being abused and raped to shield your brother in law, totally disregarding the Hippocratic Oathof the medical profession and you have the bare faced cheek to say what Gideon did was morally questionable, what you did was morally and criminally reprehensible" I spit at him.

Ana turns to leave and stops and walks back and leans down to Dr Lucas.

"After careful consideration I don't think I will be advising Eva to become your patient, someone who is an accessory to such a diabolical crime as child abuse and rape should never hold the position you do, and I'm sure my mother in law would be interested to hear about what we have discovered about you and that's just for starters".

Dr Lucas laughs, "You'll never be able to prove anything happened as it was so long ago, I shredded the original reports on the injuries Cross sustained from the rape at the time, and it's my word against yours. The Statute of Limitations ran out years ago, you don't have a chance of proving anything, my brother in law is now dead so everything you threaten to do will be futile," he sneers.

I smile sweetly at him, "Thank you Dr Lucas, you have just confirmed your guilt completely, we will be in touch, goodbye" he looks stunned at me as Ana and I turn and leave.

When we get outside we high five each other and hug each other tightly.

"I can't believe he said that, we got it, I can't believe it – we did it" I gasp in disbelief.

Ana nods, "I know, ok Gideon's mother next?" she glances at her watch, "I'm on a roll now, shall we get it all done today!?" She asks.

I look at my watch as we reach the car, "if Raul can get the information we need ready in time, I have to say I'm up for it".

As we climb in the car, Raul and Luke stare at us with open mouths, I look at them both.

"It goes without saying what you have heard does not leave this car," I say.

Raul and Luke both nod "Mrs Cross, Mrs Grey, I have to say, you were both magnificent!" Raul says with clear admiration in his voice.

"Thank you Raul, can you get us a working copy of this footage and a copy of the photograph I took along with the date and time printed on it to match the date and time on the footage?" I ask.

"You can count on it, I'll have it with you within the hour," he says confidently.

"Thank you Raul, when you have it, would you take us to Duchess County to Vidal Manor please?" I ask.

"Certainly Mrs Cross" he replies.

**oooOOOooo**

Forty minutes later Raul is as good as his word and he hands over a copy of the conversation with Dr Lucas and the photograph and also a copy of the conversation with Christopher we previously captured along with transcribed versions of each conversation.

We head out to confront Gideon's mother and I am looking forward to this. I have only met her once and I'm pretty sure she doesn't approve of me, so I am going to take great pleasure in this.

When we arrive Ana stares at the house, "Impressive" she says as we climb out of the car.

As we walk towards the house, the front door opens and Chris Vidal senior greets us warmly.

"Eva what a lovely surprise, is Gideon with you?" he asks looking past me.

"No he's not, this is my friend Ana Grey, Christian's wife. May we come in Chris we'd like to speak to your wife if that is alright?" I say politely.

Chris shakes Ana's hand and beams at us both.

"Certainly come on in, may I get you both a drink?" he says, he is clearly happy about us being here which is more than can be said for Elizabeth Vidal as she stalks out of a side room.

Chris turns to face her. "Elizabeth, Eva has come to visit us and this is her friend Ana Grey, her husband is Gideon's friend Christian from Seattle".

I see Elizabeth's eyes widen as she recognises Ana and her demeanour changes on a dime, she beams at us and is warm and welcoming.

"What a lovely surprise please come in," she says and leads us towards a room to the right.

We follow her in and Ana shoots me a look, she noticed the change in attitude how it went from arctic to gushing and over friendly in the space of a few seconds.

Elizabeth gracefully sits down in a seat and smiles at us again.

"So Eva, please tell me why the surprise visit, not that I am not pleased to see you of course, and it is lovely that you brought your friend. Why didn't Gideon accompany you?" she asks.

This is the opening I need and I answer her with the bluntness of a sledgehammer.

"Gideon isn't here because he doesn't know I am here and even if he did, he wouldn't come here after what happened to him, he doesn't like this house because it holds too many bad memories for him" I stare her down and watch as she goes rigid.

"I'm sorry dear, you have lost me I have no idea what you are talking about, you must be mistaken," she says, but there is a tremor in her voice which tells me she knows exactly what I am talking about.

I can't hold my emotions any longer and I push to my feet.

"Oh come off it Elizabeth, you know exactly what I am talking about, I am talking about the fact your son was repeatedly raped in this house and you did nothing about it. You took the word of a lying paediatrician who covered up the abuse and the word of your younger son who was so consumed with sibling rivalry and too young to realise that he was lying about something so important".

I pause for breath and Elizabeth takes a shot look at Ana, and Ana steps in and speaks.

She waves her hand dismissively, "Oh don't worry about me, I know all about Gideon's past, he confided in me a while ago and was totally overwhelmed when I believed him unconditionally".

Ana stops speaking and looks at me to continue.

I throw the recordings and paperwork on the table in front of me, "these prove Gideon was telling the truth all those years ago and that you completely failed him, failed as a mother and as a decent human being," I say viciously.

"What the hell is going on here, Elizabeth is this true?"

Chris Vidal is standing in the doorway looking shell shocked he has obviously heard every word and it appears from his reaction that he was clueless about what had happened to his stepson.

"No it's not true, it was all lies. He was an attention seeking liar, the doctor said so" Elizabeth says, looking frantically towards Chris for reassurance.

My temper snaps and I jump to my feet again and leaning towards her I get right in her face and point at her, she shrinks back from me her eyes wide.

"You are lying, and so was Dr Lucas I have the proof right here. Have you any idea how this has affected him? He has nightmares, terrible nightmares, practically every night he relives the abuse, night after night he suffers and relives the memories of that time, he screams out in pain and his body arches off the bed and he is pleading to be left alone its heartbreaking to watch. He is scared to sleep in the same bed as me in case he hurts me when he relives what he went though, because he gets violent, trying to overpower his attacker in his sleep".

I stop and see the alarm on Elizabeth's face, I look at Chris and he looks shocked. I continue staring directly at Elizabeth.

"He was a child, and he was repeatedly violated and you did nothing, let me make this clear to you, you are not to blame for anything which happened before he told you but any abuse which happened after he asked for your help and you turned your back on him you are totally responsible for as you did not protect him," I say.

"Eva please, are you sure about this, Elizabeth loves Gideon?" Chris says desperately.

I turn to him and nod sadly.

"The therapist who was engaged to help him after his father committed suicide had an assistant and that assistant repeatedly abused and raped Gideon, when the therapist was busy with Elizabeth and Gideon was left alone with him. Gideon went to Elizabeth and told her what was happening to him and he asked for help, she took him to a paediatrician who happened to be related to the assistant and he covered up the abuse to shield his brother in law. Elizabeth believed him and not her own son, and Gideon has had to live with what happened to him alone since that time. He was amazed by our reactions when he told us what had happened him, as he never expected us to believe him. Ana and I got Dr Lucas' confession of guilt this morning when we went to his office" I say pointing again at the recordings on the table.

"I questioned Christopher, he said nothing happened" Elizabeth counters desperately trying to defend herself.

"Oh my god, listen to you", I shout in exasperation, "Christopher was a young child who was feeling pushed out by his older brother, in his immature mind he was under the opinion Gideon was getting all the attention, he was consumed with sibling rivalry and that recording there taken yesterday proves the animosity he holds towards Gideon to this day".

Chris walks towards the table and takes the recordings and scoops up the papers and disappears from the room without a word.

"What do you want from me?" Elizabeth asks in a small voice.

"To accept your guilt, to go to your son and apologise for disbelieving him and to tell him that you believe him," I say.

"What good will it do, he never answers calls from me. I leave him messages and he never returns them, he won't listen to me" she whines.

I shake my head at her, "You are the parent so you work it out, you make the god damned effort and you make him listen to you. You apologise sincerely and you make it good, and you tell him that you love him and that you believe him," I say.

"Why are you doing this, raking up the past like this, it is all in the past, ancient history?" she asks.

"Because it's not ancient history for Gideon when he relives that abuse every damn night, I love him, and he is my world. When he hurts I hurt, and I want him to stop hurting and you accepting you were wrong and apologising and making things right with him will help with that healing. It may be ancient history to you but Gideon suffers every day with the memory of what happened to him and I want him to be finally free of it," I say.

Elizabeth stares at me as though I am talking a foreign language.

"Ha love, I used to feel like that, I felt like that about Gideon's father and look where it got me, he was a swindler of gargantuan proportions and then killed himself instead of taking his punishment. I was left raising Gideon on my own, thank god Chris took us on, but Gideon did nothing but misbehave, he was such a naughty boy, and it got worse when I had Christopher".

She stops as I stare at her unable to believe what I am hearing.

"You have no fucking idea do you? What kind of mother are you? Have you any idea what it was like for Gideon? I have never met anyone so self centred, let me spell it out for you as anyone with half a brain can see why Gideon behaved the way he did. He was a child, and his father dies, everything he knows is taken away from him and his mother reinvents herself and remarries and starts a new family. Of course he acted out, he was grieving for his father, and everything that was familiar was wrenched away from him. He lost his family, he lost all sense of stability and he lost his home. He felt like he didn't belong in the new home you built, then when you eventually bothered to get him some help he is horrifically abused and you turn your back on him once again, can you not see how your actions and total lack of parental concern have affected him?"

Elizabeth shakes her head, her expression is stony, we are not getting anywhere, she won't accept any responsibility for this. I try again to make her see my point of view.

"He is a wonderful man, and I love him with all my heart, but he doesn't think he is worth loving and I am trying to change that, its astounding what he has achieved, and it is through his own hard work and cast iron will that he has become the man he is today, and you want to know why he has been so outstandingly successful – because he was looking for somewhere to belong, and his company gave him that place so he put his heart and soul into it".

I stop unable to say any more, tears are pouring down my cheeks and I dash them away angrily, as I watch Elizabeth's stunned expression.

Ana leans forward and looks at Elizabeth, "Mrs Vidal, you need to see this from Gideon's point of view, surely as his mother you can do that? He wasn't a naughty child, he was a scared, confused and grieving little boy, who had his whole world turned upside-down, and felt his family had been taken away from him, he had lost everything. Everything which gave him stability then he gets abused and you refuse to believe him and he feels like he has lost his family all over again. Can you imagine what that feels like? If you can't then you were clearly never cut out to be a mother and should never have had children. I am speaking from experience here, my mother was totally self-centred and thought only of her needs, and in a lot of ways you remind me of her" Ana says sadly.

She stops speaking and Elizabeth is just staring at us not saying a word. The silence that has settled upon us is disturbed by Chris Vidal's voice.

"I can't believe this. Elizabeth, I have just listened to these recordings and I am ashamed. I was clueless, why did you never tell me? That boy was raped Elizabeth, I am his god damned step father and you didn't think I deserved to know? When I married you I took on your son as well, it was my job to protect him and because you didn't see fit to tell me what was happening I failed in that fundamental parental role - what is wrong with you?"

Chris Vidal is shaking with rage, he walks into the room and hands me the recordings and paperwork.

"Thank you Eva, I swear to you that I had no idea. I am glad that you love him enough to bring this out into the open, and to try and get some sort of closure for him, where is Gideon now?" he asks.

"I'm here".

I jump at the familiar voice and as one we all turn to look towards the doorway where Gideon is standing, as I stare at him I see his hands are fisted and his eyes look wild. He is furious and all I can think is, oh shit!

"Gideon" I whisper.

He raises his hand "Don't say a fucking word Eva" he snaps.

Ana stands and fearlessly walks towards him, and she holds out her hand to him.

"Gideon please, we have proof. We went to Dr Lucas and we got proof he confessed to the fact he lied to your mother, and we are telling her that. We are telling her that she was lied to and we did it for you Gideon. Eva loves you so much and we both want to help you heal" she says, trying to reason with him.

Gideon turns and looks at her the look in his eyes is truly chilling, "Christian is on his way back to New York as we speak, and he isn't happy" he says coldly.

Ana stares at him, "Gideon please, listen to me" she says.

He shakes his head at her, "No Ana, what if something had happened, you knowingly put yourself in a stressful situation, after everything you have been through recently, what if something had happened to the baby? Do you really think I would have felt grateful for anything you managed to achieve if you had suffered a miscarriage as a result? It was selfish of you and selfish of Eva to ask you to help her" he says.

Ana puts her hands on her hips and glares at him, I can see she is getting pissed at his attitude, but I can see where this anger is coming from; it is coming from his lingering guilt that he was in some way responsible for the previous miscarriage.

Ana doesn't realise this and she is now firing back at him, "Now you hang on a moment, how dare you, we did this to help you, you need closure to heal. Eva wants to sleep in the same fucking bed as you at night, she wants you free from the nightmares that haunt you, and as your friend and Eva's friend I took the decision to help her, we got what we came for, we got his confession and we were not in any danger at any point so stop trying to turn things around just because you didn't know what we were doing and had no control, stop trying to lay a guilt trip on us".

Ana stops for breath and I step in to help her, I fire a low blow at him but hopefully one which will bring an end to this.

"Gideon please, stop this, you are the only one causing Ana stress at this moment" I say.

He stares at me furiously, as he knows what I am referring to, "Don't Eva, just don't, the same thing applies to you as well, you are carrying my child and I am furious that you choose to forget that fact while you are on your crusade, what if something had happened to you, to our child, you know the one we saw this morning on the scan?"

I stare at him in disbelief, "Gideon nothing happened, both Ana and I are fine our baby is fine, Ana and Christian's baby is fine" I say.

"No thanks to you and your hair brained scheme" he spits.

He steps forward and grabs my arm. "We're leaving, come on" he says coldly.

Chris steps forward and tries to touch Gideon, immediately Gideon steps away his hands in the air, "Don't" he warns.

Chris immediately steps back and holds up his hands in a sign of surrender.

"Ok, but Gideon, please don't be angry with them, what they did they did out of love for you, they want you healed. I am so sorry Gideon, I swear to god I didn't know, if I had I would have fought for you and got you justice for what happened to you," Chris is almost pleading with Gideon.

I watch as Gideon stares at him in disbelief.

"You didn't know?" he whispers and this seems to take all the rage from him in a rush.

Chris shakes his head sadly, "No, this is the first I have ever heard about what you suffered and continue to suffer. Please Gideon listen to me, and accept my apologies I am so sorry, I failed you, I love you like my own, you are an incredible man and I am proud to be your step father but at this moment all I can feel is shame that I failed you when you needed me most".

I hold my breath and Ana does the same and I watch as Gideon stares at Chris.

"You believe... you believe it happened?" he says so quietly it is barely audible.

Chris hesitantly steps forward and holds open his arms, "I do Gideon, I believe it happened, I believe that you went through hell, I believe you were raped and I am so, so sorry" he says firmly.

I watch as Gideon sags and his face crumples and he almost falls into Chris' arms and Chris although much smaller than Gideon holds him tightly and comforts him.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks and I grip Ana's hand she too is crying quietly as we watch this most poignant private moment.


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER 50

**(ANA)**

Eventually when we leave, Gideon appears to have calmed down but he is still very quiet, we head outside and I see the Bentley abandoned at an angle in the driveway, with the gravel scattered, he clearly drove himself here. Raul is looking down at the ground as we walk towards him and Luke is on the phone and by his expression he seems like is being ripped a new one by someone.

"Get in the car Eva" Gideon says and he holds the door open, "Ana" he adds.

He gestures to the Bentley, and I climb in beside Eva in the back. Gideon slides into the driver's seat without a word and he starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, I glance out of the window to see Luke and Raul follow in the car we arrived in.

The drive back to the city is silent and uncomfortable. I look at Eva and she shrugs at me. I thought after his moment with Chris, Gideon would be more amenable now, but he is still distant and cold towards us.

My main concern is the fact Christian is heading back to New York. I don't say a word but when we get back to the Penthouse, I venture to ask a question.

"How did you find out?" I ask.

Gideon looks at me coldly, "Christian called me, he was unable to contact you, you were not answering your phone, and it was going straight to voicemail. He was frantic because you had told him that he could call you anytime. I knew you were with Eva so I tracked her cell and saw you were at my mother's house. I called Raul and asked what was going on and he told me everything, I called Christian and told him and then set out to fetch you both. Christian said he was flying back to New York, he was in Chicago when he called so he won't be too long getting here, but I assure you Ana he wasn't a happy man".

I mentally kick myself for switching my phone off, I should have realised Christian would try and contact me if he was on the ground, I thought I'd be alright, as I had assumed he was heading straight back to Seattle and I'd be finished by the time he got in contact with me. I wonder briefly why he was in Chicago, but that is the least of my concerns at the moment.

I stare at Gideon and decide on my next move and I decide to go with defiance.

"I won't apologise for what we did" I say firmly, I look at Eva and she gives me a reassuring smile. "We did this for you Gideon, because we all love you and you deserve the closure" I add.

Gideon sighs and rubs his eyes, "I know but at what cost? Didn't you see the look on Chris' face? This is going to eat at him now that he does know, I have to say I was surprised he didn't know though. My mother just totally dismissed it completely" he says bitterly.

Eva steps towards him and wraps her arms around him.

"Which is why we did this, I had to show her she was wrong to do what she did, and I wanted her to see this and apologise for her actions, because I really think if you get that from your mother it will help, I really do," she says earnestly.

She gazes up at him, searching his expression, I am worried he is still totally rigid and not responding to her, eventually his arm snakes around her waist and he pulls her to him.

"Eva it's in the past and it's where it should stay," he says stubbornly.

Eva shakes her head, and she pushes away from him.

"No Gideon, it's not - the abuse itself may be in the past but its legacy is with you all the time, and affects you – it affects you every damn night when you scream out in agony in your sleep and anything that affects you affects me," she says trying to make him see our point of view.

As the silence spreads out between us, it is suddenly shattered by an angry Christian storming into the penthouse. We turn to see him struggling towards us on his crutches, his face like thunder and his eyes flashing with his fury.

"Ana what the fuck are you playing at?" he growls at me when he reaches me.

I straighten and fold my arms and stare him defiantly in the eye.

"Helping our friends" I say calmly.

I wait for the explosion which I know is just beneath the surface, as he is barely holding on to his self control.

"I couldn't reach you, and then Gideon told me where you were and what you were doing, what the fuck were you thinking?" he rants.

I stare at him incredulously, and I take a deep breath and then I let him have it.

"Christian will just calm down and stop ranting, nothing happened to us. We were perfectly safe at all times; there was never any danger for me or Eva. We confronted Dr Lucas and we got a confession from him about the way he had lied to Gideon's mother, then we went to see Gideon's mother and Eva confronted her with the evidence we'd gathered. Nothing could possibly happen to us. Raul and Luke were on hand and we had an understanding that if anything went wrong Luke would pull me out, he didn't do so which means there was no danger, are you following this so far?"

I pause for breath and Christian opens his mouth to speak and I hold up my hand.

"We did this to help Gideon. Eva wants to sleep with her husband at night, she is pregnant with his child, but she doesn't spend the entire night with him, which is a fundamental thing which married people normally take for granted. She loves him and wants to help heal him, and as they are our closest friends I had no reservations about helping her get what she needed to achieve what she wanted. The only problem here that I can see, is neither of you were aware of what we did, and therefore were not in absolute control, and _that_ is what is eating you. The fact we did this off our own bat and didn't include you two".

I stop and I really think Christian is going to explode, so when he speaks in an eerily quiet voice I am shocked.

"Get your things we are leaving" he says.

I shake my head and stand my ground.

"No we're not - not until we have talked all this through and you two realise that we are not helpless, and that just because we are both pregnant we don't need to be wrapped up in cotton wool. There was never any threat, never any danger, so just stop using that as an excuse because you are sulking because we managed to do something without your input!"

I stop and glare at Christian waiting for the next round but there appears to be a strange stand off. Neither Gideon nor Christian are prepared to back down and realise they have over reacted and Eva and I are still riding on the high of earlier and are determined not to back down.

"Ana, I need to get back to Seattle" Christian says quietly.

I stare at him and shrug "So go then" I say.

As I say this I see the hurt appear briefly in his eyes, which he quickly masks with an icy controlled coldness.

"I am not leaving New York without you Ana, you will be returning to Seattle with me today one way or another" he says.

I glare at him, "Are you threatening me?" I ask.

I know I am goading him, and I just want to hold him in my arms and tell him everything is fine but he is so distant at this moment I fear he will push me away if I try.

"No Ana, I would never threaten you, but I am going home to Seattle and you are coming with me, you have made your point, and you have done what you wanted to do now we are leaving so get your things or I will".

Christian stares at me, he has shut down and is giving me that damned impassive look.

"Christian please don't be like this, can't you see why we did what we did?" Eva asks and steps towards Christian, Gideon also steps forward.

"Christian, I'm not happy about any of this, anything could have happened to them, but I think we should concentrate on the fact they are both safe now," he says.

I realise he is now trying to defuse the volatile situation we are currently in. Gideon turns and stares at me and then at Eva.

"Do you see how we feel about what you did? I don't dispute you both did what you thought was right, and it was done with the best intentions and I thank you for that, but the fact you didn't tell us what you were planning, are you both trying to totally emasculate us?"

And there it is, the crux of this whole argument, I look at Eva, I knew it, this is what is getting to them the most, not what we did, but the fact they weren't involved in our plans".

I look at Gideon, "Would you or Christian have been happy to let us go through with what we did had you known about it?" I ask.

Gideon hesitates but Christian answers immediately, "No!" he states firmly.

I roll my eyes and gesture with my hands towards my stubborn husband, "and there you go!" I say, "and that is the reason we didn't tell you, you both would have either stopped us outright or got involved and meddled. Just because we are married to you doesn't give you the right behave like that" I say.

I am trying so hard to be reasonable but they just don't get it.

I walk away and go to the spare room I am occupying and go to gather my things together, I realise no matter how I protest I will probably end up leaving with Christian, but I am not going to go quietly, not until he accepts that what we did wasn't wrong.

As I am pulling all my things together the door opens and Christian appears, I turn and look at him, he is still distant and he is sulking about what has happened, he is such a control freak, I turn my back to him and gather my things.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me Ana" he growls at me.

I spin on the spot and hold up my hand to him.

"Christian I really don't want to speak to you right now, you are behaving like a child, and you have thrown your toys out of the pram just because I didn't tell you the real reason why I wanted to stay in New York".

He walks towards me and letting his crutches fall he grips my upper arms, glaring into my face.

"Ana I love you so much, so I indulge you. I have given up so much control for you. I am not sulking and I am insulted that you say such a thing. I am pissed, I am beyond angry. Can you just stop and imagine for one moment how I felt? You said I could contact you anytime, I do so and all I get is your fucking voicemail. I tried several times and each time the same thing, so what the fuck am I supposed to think? All sorts of scenarios were going through my mind. My imagination was running away with me and all the scenarios I was imagining involved you being hurt, and something bad happening to you and the baby, so I called Gideon to find out if he knew why you weren't answering, and when he had no idea either. That made things worse, so when he called me back a while later and told me what you and Eva had been doing, I was relieved that you were ok, but fucking pissed that you had knowingly put yourself in a stressful situation which could have had a negative effect on you and our baby". He pauses and it hits me just how worried he must have been when he couldn't reach me.

He continues in a slightly softer tone "You have already suffered one miscarriage Ana which I believe in part was due to the amount of stress you went through, I do not want to go through that again Ana. When you lost our son you know what it did to me, for gods sake it nearly destroyed you as well. We have been through so fucking much in such a short amount of time, it's enough to make the strongest person break. So against my better judgement I agreed to you staying behind and having some down time in New York with Eva, but then I discover you are using that time not to relax, but to confront people and put yourself at unnecessary risk. I reacted to it in the only way I know, but I reacted not because I am sulking because I wasn't informed, but because I was fucking scared that what you were doing could have a negative impact on you and our baby. Now, I am here I am taking charge and you are coming home with me today, we are leaving New York and we are flying home to Seattle today".

He stops speaking and is staring at me.

I am speechless, I feel guilty for making him feel that way and I realise I was so consumed with helping Eva and keeping Christian in the dark about it, that I failed to consider his feelings at all. I hesitantly take a step towards him, and wrap my arms around his waist. He is rigid when I touch him, but I slowly feel him relax and his arms go around my waist and he holds me to him tightly.

"Don't fight me Ana, I need... I need to keep you and our baby safe" he whispers.

"I'm sorry" I say and lift my head and kiss his chin, I feel him take a sharp breath in.

"Have you spoken to Luke yet?" I ask warily.

Christian shakes his head, "No, I was so pissed I knew if I did I would fire him on the spot, so I called Taylor and he called him" he says.

"You are not to fire him, we discussed everything, and you should know that he wasn't happy about not telling you, but we compromised and we had a solid plan and he told me if I didn't co-operate with it he would tell you, he did his job perfectly" I say firmly.

Christian nods his head but doesn't say a word and I know he will berate Luke and I feel guilty about that.

"Don't be too hard on him Christian. I trust Luke and he does a good job, and look how he's stepped up while Taylor has been recovering?" I say.

"I'm not going to fire him Ana, but I am going to give him a piece of my mind" he says eventually.

I rest my head against his chest, I guess that's the best I can hope for.

**(EVA)**

I stand and watch Ana disappear into the guest room where she is staying. I feel responsible for the discord between our friends and I don't like it. I take a shot look at Gideon and then at Christian who is trying to hold on to his temper, I sigh and I decide that I must try and make things right.

I walk up to Christian and wrap my arms around his waist and carefully rest my head against him. He freezes monetarily but I stay still and he slowly begins to relax.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked Ana to help me" I whisper.

I feel him stiffen again and then with a huge sigh he relaxes completely and he responds to my hug.

"Eva, I understand why you wanted to do this, hell it's admirable that you are prepared to fight the people who have wronged Gideon, and I am 100% in favour of what you did".

He looks at Gideon, "You have a remarkable wife, she wants you to get your closure on this to heal you and help free you from the nightmares which plague you. You can't be angry with her for that?" he smiles.

Gideon nods, "I know" he says.

"But if anything had happened - to either of them, Lucas is a piece of shit, he lied to my mother to protect his brother in law, and he holds a serious grudge against me for sleeping with his wife, there is no telling what he could have done".

I shake my head and turn to my husband.

"Gideon you really need to listen to the conversation and you will see straight away that there was never any danger, he was scared! When we went in there he was afraid and on his guard, he thought I was clueless and he was more afraid that you would be pissed because I had gone to see him, you need to listen to the conversation, and you will see" I protest.

Gideon shakes his head, "What you don't get Angel and the point you are missing completely, confronting him was a stressful thing to do, you went through a very stressful situation with Brett Kline only the day before, but we were all there to support you through it. Stress and pregnancy are not a good mix, Ana has already lost one baby, and we all agree it was due in part to the enormous and continual amount of stress she encountered throughout her early pregnancy. You are pregnant and I don't want to go through what Christian did previously and I'm damn sure neither Christian nor Ana want to lose another baby. I know you wouldn't be able to live with yourself and any personal closure and release I got from your actions would have paled into insignificance if something bad had happened to either of you".

He stops and stepping forward he pulls me close and from what he has just said tells me that his lingering guilt for what Ana previously though is colouring his mind right now.

"Eva, I am grateful for what you wanted to do, and for what you managed to achieve, but just fucking tell me next time before you go on one of your one woman crusades, have you any idea how helpless I felt when Christian called me and I hadn't got the first idea what was happening or where you were, you are my god damned wife, you need to tell me, you share with me, do you understand? I do not want to be left standing there with my dick in my hand".

I look up at him and nod. Then I turn to Christian.

"Go and talk to Ana but don't shout at her, you both are as stubborn as each other and I'm sorry" I say.

Christian nods and disappears down the corridor towards our guest bedroom. I return my attention back to my husband, he grips my chin with his hand.

"Don't ever do anything like that again" he says staring into my eyes.

I feel the dominant warning tone in his voice and I nod. He leads me over to the sofa and he puts his hand possessively on my bump.

"I don't give a shit about the past, I know you meant well Angel but I can't see how getting Lucas to confess and telling my mother what a disgrace she was can help anyone, all it has done is make Chris feel guilty because he had no idea what was happening at the time, did my mother actually say or do anything? No she didn't, because she won't admit she was wrong and she never will," he says.

I turn and look at him, I don't believe for one moment that he doesn't give a shit.

"Gideon how did you feel when Chris told you he was sorry and that he believed you?" I ask mildly.

Gideon takes a sharp breath in, and stares at a point across the room.

"To be totally honest with you, I'm not entirely sure. All I have ever known from my family is denial, shock I think was the main emotion, then I suppose I was grateful in a way, and when he held me... it... it felt... I don't know... it felt... nice, I don't know it was a mixture of emotions" he stops speaking and looks uncomfortable.

I touch his cheek and make him look at me, "and you say you don't give a shit? Who are you trying to convince of that?" I ask.

Gideon shakes his head but doesn't say a word.

A few moments later I hear the intercom, "Are you expecting anyone Gideon?" I ask sitting up.

He shakes his head, I pat his knee and pull myself up.

"I'll get it" I say and make my way over to the front door.

"Hello" I say.

"Mrs Cross I have a Mrs Vidal at the desk asking to come up, she claims to be Mr Cross's mother" the desk clerk says politely.

"Oh, ok I'll come down" I say.

I call back into Gideon, "Someone at the desk is asking for me I'll be right back" I shout.

"Ok" he calls and I head down.

As the elevator doors open the door I nearly drop through the floor when I see Elizabeth Vidal standing there, she is wringing her hands and she looks at me with a worried expression.

"Hello Eva" she says quietly, "may I come up, I'd like to speak to Gideon?" she adds nervously.

"Yes" I say, I have no idea what else to say.

I step aside to let her into the elevator, the ride up is awkward and silent she doesn't say a word and neither do I, I just pray that she is here to make things right with Gideon. I let us back into the apartment and she waits while I close the door and I gesture towards the sitting room, but she shakes her head.

"Maybe it would be better if you told him I was here, rather than me going in first" she says.

I nod my head, "Ok wait here" I say and move into the sitting room Gideon looks up at me.

"Who was it Angel?" he asks.

"Gideon, it's your mom she's here and she wants to talk to you" I say.

Gideon immediately stands looking at me with a lost expression on his face, I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him he is totally rigid, and I grip his hand tightly.

"It's ok baby" I say gently.

"Can you... Show her in" he says hesitantly.

I nod and rub my hand reassuringly down his back before going and fetching Elizabeth.

A moment later, Elizabeth Vidal walks into the sitting room. I stare at her willing her to admit her guilt and apologise. I walk over to Gideon and take his hand I feel him grip me as his mother walks closer and I press myself to his side, offering my silent support to him.

"Mother?" he says in a cold clipped tone.

Elizabeth is looking all around the penthouse, it is obvious she has never been here before, as her wide eyes take in every detail.

"Gideon, I came to talk to you I hope you don't mind?" she stammers nervously.

She glances at me, and it is clear she wants to talk to Gideon alone. I go to move away and to give them some privacy but Gideon grips me tightly.

"No, stay Eva" he says.

He turns to his mother, "Anything you want to say can be said in front of Eva, she is my wife, we have no secrets" he says and the glance he gives me makes me smirk at the irony of that statement after what happened today.

Elizabeth nods, "Why did you get married without your family, you got married alone without anyone with you?" she asks.

Gideon stares at her, "I had the people who mattered most to me there" he says stiffly and squeezes me a little closer to his side.

"Don't worry mother after Eva has had the baby we are doing it all again for family and friends at Christian and Ana's place in Seattle" he adds.

Elizabeth nods, she stares at me for a moment and I defiantly stare back, "I didn't even know you were pregnant Eva" she says in a tight voice.

"We haven't announced the fact yet, as soon as Ana reaches 12 weeks we are making a joint announcement, so not many people know and we want to keep it that way" I say.

I subconsciously touch my bump and I see Elizabeth's eyes follow my hand to my bump.

"What do you want? What are you doing here?" Gideon asks her sharply.

Elizabeth returns her attention back to her son, "I thought you should know, after your wife's little performance this afternoon Chris has moved out, he said he couldn't bare to look at me, knowing that I had turned my back on you," she says.

I frown, and I take a step forward, Gideon places his arm around me and pulls me close to him again.

I cock my head to the side and glaring at her I am unable to stay quiet, "Oh no Elizabeth that wasn't a performance, that was me telling you a few home truths and trying to get you to realise that what you did was wrong on so many levels".

Elizabeth glares at me and thrusts her hands out in question, "What was I supposed to do? I took him to a professional, and I trusted that professional's diagnosis, he said there was no physical proof of abuse," she says.

Gideon freezes, "I bled after each time he raped me" he whispers, I grasp his hand tightly.

"It's ok baby, you don't have to explain yourself, I believe you, and there was evidence, he admitted it because he said he destroyed the report which said you had evidence that proved you were raped".

Gideon takes in a sharp breath at that and I return my attention to Elizabeth.

"He was a child, he shouldn't have needed to provide physical proof, you should have unconditionally believed him and fought for him, you should have been there for him" I snarl at her.

"You are to blame, and there is no way you can shift that blame, you didn't even tell your husband, you didn't care about your son and what he had been through, you just wanted to keep up appearances and pretend everything was alright, and push the ugly truth under the carpet, that isn't what parenting is about, appearances are worth Jack shit. How you behave as a mother is more important, and you failed in every god damned way".

"What do you want me to do? I regret I listened to that doctor, I can't turn the clock back" Elizabeth says defensively.

"What you need to do is show a little humility, sincerely apologise to your son and tell him that you believe that he was repeatedly raped and sexually abused".

We all turn at the cool voice and see Christian and Ana standing there, Christian is leaning on his crutches and Ana is beside him her hand tucked in his arm and her bag in her other hand, I am relieved that they seem to have made up, but also sad to note that it seems she is leaving with Christian. I look questioningly at Ana and she nods at me.

Elizabeth stands with her mouth opening and closing, staring at Christian and Ana.

Christian takes a step forward, "I'm sorry to interrupt Gideon. Ana and I are going to head off now, I have a plane waiting for us and I really need to get back to Seattle".

Gideon nods and Christian hands one of his crutches to Ana then he holds out his hand to Gideon, Gideon steps forward and grasping his hand embraces Christian and slaps him on the shoulder, he looks towards me and I step forward and hug him and press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sorry Christian" I whisper and he shakes his head.

"Forget it" he replies and he plants a swift kiss to my cheek. I watch Gideon embrace Ana and whisper something in her ear, before he returns his attention back to Christian.

"I'll talk to you soon my friend. I'm sorry we won't be accompanying you to the airport" Gideon replies apologetically.

Christian waves his hand dismissively.

"You have more important things going on here, you need to get your closure, so make sure you get it" he says firmly and clearly looking directly at Elizabeth as he says this.

I fling my arms around Christian's neck once more and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you for that," I whisper in his ear.

He nods, "Look after him" he says to me and I return the nod.

"Goes without saying" I reply.

I hug Ana again and with a chorus of goodbyes, our friends leave and we are left alone with Elizabeth who has silently watched the exchanges.

After we have seen Ana and Christian out, I march up to Elizabeth and stare at her my hands on my hips.

"So what exactly was the purpose of your visit? If it was to try and make me feel guilty by telling me Chris has left you, then you failed, because I don't" I say.

"I... I... I came to talk to my son" Elizabeth says nervously, she looks at Gideon.

"Eva" he whispers as he holds out his hand to me and I immediately take it, and stand at his side waiting.

"I am sorry Gideon I should have believed you," Elizabeth says quietly but slightly haughtily.

I hear Gideon suck in a sharp breath and he grips me even tighter as he sways a little.

"It's ok baby, I've got you" I whisper and wrap my arm around him to steady him.

Elizabeth watches our interaction, and steps forward, and holds out her hands to him, Gideon stares at her.

"I have listened to the recording and realise now that you were telling the truth about being abused and raped" she says.

I watch in silence but something isn't right about this, she is doesn't seem genuine it's almost as though she is going through the motions, almost as though she doing this because she realises she has to rather than wants to and she is coming across as though she doesn't really believe what she is saying. There is just no sincerity in her words.

I really hope that her intentions are genuine as Gideon needs this to heal, I wonder if it because I am here, I wonder if she would be more forthcoming and genuine if I wasn't around. So as much as I don't want to, I make my excuses to leave.

"If you'll excuse me," I say carefully and I point towards the bathroom, Gideon nods and releases me.

I wonder what to do with myself now, I want to give Gideon the space to talk to his mom without me there in the hope she will open up. As I am debating what to do, my phone rings, I glance at the number and frown. It's not a number I am familiar with but it is here in New York.

"Hello?" I say carefully.

"You fucking bitch! Not content with ruining my plans for Six Ninths you now turn my family against me!"

Anger surges through me at Christopher Vidal's voice and I stand up and quite forgetting where I am I shout back down the phone to him and I don't hold back.

"YOU JUST WAIT A MOMENT ASS WIPE, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. YOU ARE A WARPED AND TWISTED PIECE OF SHIT WHO HAS TRIED SYSTEMATICALLY TO HURT YOUR BROTHER, BECAUSE OF SOME CHILDISH SENSE OF RIVALRY AND GRUDGE THAT YOU HOLD AGAINST HIM. HE IS MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU WILL EVER BE, AND WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED YOU HAVE BROUGHT EVERY LAST BIT OF IT ON YOURSELF, YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS GIDEON. YOU ARE A MANIPULATIVE, VINDICTIVE, LYING LOW LIFE WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE FIRST IDEA WHAT GIDEON WENT THROUGH AND CONTINUES TO GO THROUGH. IF YOUR FAMILY HAVE TURNED AGAINST YOU ALL I CAN SAY IS GOOD, BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS WHEN GIDEON WAS A CHILD HE FELT ALIENATED FROM HIS FAMILY. THAT MAN HAS LOST HIS FAMILY TWICE ONCE WHEN HIS FATHER DIED AND THEN WHEN YOU LIED AND MADE HIS MOTHER BELIEVE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED TO HIM, WHICH IS FUCKING LOW. IN FACT THAT IS THE LOWEST OF THE LOW, AND NOW YOU HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO BLAME ME, ALL I AM GUILTY OF IS POINTING OUT THE GOD DAMN TRUTH AND LETTING PEOPLE SEE WHAT A FUCKING LOW LIFE YOU ARE! WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED IS DOWN TO YOU CHRISTOPHER AND YOU DESERVE EVERY LAST GOD DAMNED SECOND OF IT, KARMA IS A BITCH AND YOU ARE FINALLY GETTING YOURS!"

I hang up on him and throw my phone on the bed, I am panting with exertion and glaring at my phone when I feel two strong arms around me, I turn and Gideon is there.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"Don't be" he replies.

"Where's your mom?" I ask.

"Gone" he says simply and dismissively.

I am immediately on alert wondering what was said after I had gone, but before I can ask Gideon speaks again.

"What was all that about?" Gideon asks me.

I shrug, "Christopher doesn't seem to like it because he has been found out and because of the type of person he is, he won't accept responsibility for his actions, he needs to find someone else to blame" I say.

Gideon is looking at me I see the worry in his eyes as he searches my face. I lift my hand up and stroke his cheek.

"I'm fine, honestly" I say.

He looks at me for a moment longer and then nods seemingly satisfied with my reply.

"What did he say to you?" he asks.

I laugh humourlessly, "He called me a fucking bitch again, and that I ruined his plans for Six Ninths and that I wasn't content with that so I have now turned his family against him" I say with a shrug, "and I guess you heard my reply," I add sheepishly.

"You could say that Angel" Gideon says with more than a little humour in his voice.


	51. Chapter 51

CHAPTER 51

_One month later in New York..._

_The early morning news, _

_"Good morning America and we have breaking news this morning, it seems the stork has been ultra busy recently, it has been announced this morning that Gideon Cross and his lovely wife Eva are expecting their first child! According to a statement released this morning, via Cross Industries, Cross the young multi billionaire (and son of disgraced financier the late Geoffrey Cross) who eloped with his socialite girlfriend (and step daughter of financial guru Richard Stanton) Eva Trammell late last year and married in secret are said to be thrilled and looking forward to the new addition to their family. But that's not all, not content with that over on the West Coast at exactly the same time, the good friend of Gideon Cross, multi billionaire Christian Grey and his wife Anastasia have also announced that they are to become parents. Their news was announced via The Public Relations Department at Grey Enterprise Holdings. Both statements were brief and to the point and very similarly worded, also both statements offered warmest congratulations and best wishes to the other couple. Now was this deliberate? An announcement from both couples at the same time, we think maybe it was, as it is common knowledge that Christian Grey and Gideon Cross are close friends and the two couples spend a lot of social time together either here in New York or across the other side of the continent in Seattle. This news has certainly created great interest within the media and especially since there has been speculation for some time that Eva Cross is pregnant, with her being seen increasingly wearing loser fitting clothing recently, and now it appears those speculations are indeed true._

_This of course isn't the first pregnancy for the Grey's, last year before the couple married Ana suffered a miscarriage, after being kidnapped by her former step father. The news of their loss came out during the trial where Mrs Grey blamed the miscarriage on the stress she suffered during that time. Let's hope history doesn't repeat itself as the couple are due in court again shortly for the trial of the trio who sabotaged Grey's helicopter causing it to crash and leaving Grey temporarily paralysed._

_We all wish both couples the best of luck"._

"Well there we go Angel its out there now!"

Gideon stands drinking his coffee a satisfied smirk on his face, his phone buzzes and he looks at the text and laughs.

"Christian has just text me, the media in Seattle has gone into meltdown, and they don't know who to approach first" he says with clear amusement.

I look over his arm and read the text and smile, "Pretty much the same as here then, they are all falling over themselves" I say.

Gideon turns and rubs my bump protectively, "When is our next hospital appointment?" he asks.

"Tomorrow, and before you ask, yes I would think we will be able to see the sex of the baby this time as long as he or she cooperates!" I say.

I watch as Gideon's face lights up at this news. I think he is driving the doctor insane, at every appointment he asks if it's possible to see what we are having. At 14 weeks the doctor was able to see but didn't want to commit so early, then at 16 weeks baby Cross didn't co-operate and disappointed Gideon again. Gideon has been demanding more appointments for me than other normal pregnant women get and had arrogantly told the hospital to just bill him personally if they had a problem with it.

I move away and rub my tummy, I have been feeling movement for a while but I just felt a solid kick for the first time.

"Gideon, come here quickly" I say.

He looks up at me anxiety written all over his face he places his coffee down on the table and strides over.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

I shake my head "Nothing, just give me your hand" I say and I grasp his hand pressing it against my bump, and as if to order the baby cooperates and kicks against Gideon's hand.

"Did you feel that?" I ask, searching his face.

Gideon is staring at my bump in wonder, and he nods but he doesn't say a word then suddenly he falls to his knees in front of me and lifts my top, so my stomach is exposed to him and he presses a kiss to my bump.

"Hello, are you going to give your daddy another kick" he says to my bump caressing it gently.

As if on demand the baby kicks again and a huge smile floods his face.

"It's amazing, it doesn't matter what else happens now today, this memory will see me through the day" he says and he presses another kiss on my bump before replacing my top and rising to his feet.

"Are you warm enough Angel?" Gideon asks when we leave the penthouse and I shiver pulling my jacket around me. It's February and bitterly cold. I nod and snuggle into him; he obliges me by wrapping his arm around me. We are suddenly besieged by paps and reporters, and Gideon leads me to the waiting Bentley and Angus shields us while we get in.

"Fucking parasites" he grumbles.

Once we are within the safety of the car he turns to me, "Are you ok?" he asks anxiously and I nod.

I was expecting this but it doesn't make it any easier when it's happening. The past month has been a bit of a nightmare ever since the press got wind of the fact I am now effectively Gideon's number two at Cross Industries.

We had Christopher's spitefulness to thank for that one, he had somehow found out about my position within Cross Industries and had joyfully leaked the information to the media and caused a maelstrom of press interest as to why Gideon Cross who had previously had an iron grip on his company that he had built from the ground up would suddenly be prepared to share that with anyone, but when the person he does share it with turns out to be his wife. Many questions were asked including many about his judgement to mix business with pleasure.

I have stepped into the role and to his credit Gideon has mentored me beautifully. I did have reservations to begin with, but knowing anything I wasn't sure of would be explained fully by either Gideon or his close friend and business attorney Arash my confidence grew, and now it is second nature.

Gideon has told me many times within this last month how proud he is of me. Apparently I bring fresh ideas to the table and with my advertising expertise I see solutions in different ways and offer a new perspective on things. I leave my husband to go to my office, as well as being Gideon's number two, my day to day job is within my comfort zone of the advertising department.

_Meanwhile in Seattle..._

**(ANA)**

_Local Seattle breakfast news..._

_"Good Morning Seattle, we are waking this morning to the news that the Christian Grey and his beautiful young wife Anastasia are to be parents. As you may remember from reports last year, the Grey's lost a child after Anastasia was kidnapped by Ana's former stepfather, Stephen Morton. We hope that all goes well this time round for our local golden couple. But that's not all folks, during that announcement news also reached us from the other side of the US that the Grey's good friends Gideon and Eva Cross have also announced the patter of tiny feet. It is clear the two couples intentionally simultaneously released the news as their statements also included congratulations for the other._

_We are heading over to New York where we can see pictures of Gideon Cross and his wife Eva can be seen leaving their Fifth Avenue Penthouse earlier this morning. As you can see there Mrs Cross has a clear pronounced pregnancy bump. Speculation of a pregnancy has been rumoured for a number of weeks after seeing Mrs Cross in increasingly looser fitting clothing as of late. _

_We have a correspondent outside Escala where Mr and Mrs Grey have been staying for the past week but as yet there doesn't appear to be any sightings of them"._

I am watching Christian, we don't normally have the TV on first thing in a morning but as we were announcing the pregnancy to the world along with Gideon and Eva we wanted to see the reaction. I smile when I hear they are camped out at Escala. They think we are in the city but we actually at our home on the coast. Christian text Gideon a short while ago letting him know the frenzy the media here have got itself into with the news.

Christian sees me looking at him and strolls over and pulls me into his arms.

"We gave them the slip this time but those parasites will soon catch up with us but don't worry baby, I won't let them hurt you or stress you" he says and he runs his hand over my tiny bump which is just becoming visible.

I kiss his cheek, "I know you won't" I say.

"I'm worried about the effect this damn trial is going to have on you as well" he says frowning.

I shake my head, "it's not going to have any negative effect on me, Gideon and Eva will be here to support us, and all I have to do is give my evidence of the night Charlie Tango crashed and the events that followed. I have to give the evidence Christian, I want those three put away, because they could have killed you and Jason" I say firmly.

Christian nods, "I know, I just worry" he says.

"Well don't worry, I'm fine, the security team have put together an airtight case and Raul has been brilliant, its nothing like that other business, and besides we have another week or so till we are in court so don't let it get to you" I say.

Christian shakes his head, "What would I do without you?" he whispers.

"You'll never have to find out" I reply and press a small kiss to his lips.

"So – are we working from home today Mrs Grey?" Christian asks looking at me carefully.

I raise my eyebrows, "you know damned well we can't do that, because your mind doesn't stay on business when we try and work from here" I say.

Christian laughs "No, you're right it doesn't," he replies his hands wandering all over my body as he pulls me close.

I gasp as I feel him rock hard against me and I run my hand down the front of his pants.

"Having said that, it would be a shame to waste this, we could be... a little late arriving at the office couldn't we?!" I say with a wicked grin.

"Oh Mrs Grey you don't need to ask" he says and leads me towards our bedroom.

When we get inside he shoves the door shut with his crutch and leads me towards the bed. Carefully undressing me he lowers me on to the bed and shrugs out of his shirt. I sit up and unzip his trousers watching as he springs free.

Christian lowers himself down on the bed beside me and starts gently caressing my breast.

"I love how your body changes with pregnancy" he says.

He lowers his head and then gently sucks and licks my nipples making me shiver.

"Just take me Christian" I whisper breathlessly. He shakes his head.

"No baby, I don't want to hurt you, we are doing this slowly" he says.

Slowly seductively he makes his way down my body kissing, nuzzling and touching, then he pushes between my legs and touches my clit I gasp and he gently pushes a finger inside me.

"Oh god Ana you are so wet and ready for me" he moans.

"I want you... badly" I whisper and urge him towards me".

He pulls me towards him and lowers himself down on top of me, careful to take his weight on his arms and gently he eases himself into me and pauses.

"Okay?" he asks anxiously, I nod trying to urge him closer.

"I'm fine Christian and I'm not made of glass, please make love to me" I whisper and with that he starts to move.

_The Next Day - In New York_

**(EVA)**

"Mr and Mrs Cross" the young nurse calls us and we head into the doctor's office, Gideon as usual is accompanying me and he is practically bouncing with anticipation.

"Good morning how are you Mrs Cross?" the doctor asks as we enter the room.

I answer her questions politely and the formalities of the check up are observed. Gideon watches closely as my checks are all done. We make our way to the ultrasound machine room and I lie down on the bed.

Gideon takes his place beside me but before he can open his mouth to speak the doctor smiles at him.

"Well let's see if Baby Cross is going to co-operate today and let dad know if they are a boy or a girl".

She does all the routine checks and measurements as Gideon and I watch then she freezes the screen suddenly.

"There we have it, baby Cross is being very co-operative today and showing us exactly what dad is eager to know," she says smiling and pointing, Gideon leans forwards staring helplessly at the screen.

"I don't see anything?" he says frowning at the screen.

"Which is right, there won't be anything to see as that there is a little girl, congratulations you have a baby daughter!" the doctor says with a grin.

I feel Gideon squeeze my hand almost to breaking point and I stare at his reaction, his eyes are fixed on the screen.

"Fuck me, I have a daughter," he says quietly just staring.

"Gideon are you ok?" I ask gently.

"It's a little girl" Gideon says he turns to me and his eyes are full of tears. "I... we have a daughter" he says.

I nod at him I am a little concerned by his reaction and the doctor has discreetly left us alone.

"Gideon, are you ok? You're not disappointed are you?" I ask.

Gideon stares at me. "No of course not, why? What would make you think that?" he says.

I shake my head, "Your reaction, you don't seem too... pleased," I mumble.

His face softens and he wraps his arms around me, "Angel, I'm fucking overjoyed, but I am also a little overwhelmed by it, a little girl, my daughter, our daughter, can you believe it Angel? We have made a little girl," he touches my face, "and she will be as beautiful and intelligent as her mother" he stops and thinks for a moment, he lets out a small chuckle and shakes his head, "fuck, I am so screwed, she will own me, just like you do!" he says with a grin.

We leave the hospital and Gideon is clutching another precious photograph. We have booked for a 3D scan for the next visit, but for now Gideon is more than happy with the small picture he has of his daughter. Once again he takes a photograph of it and sends it to Christian.

_**I have a daughter**_is the simple message he sends along with the picture.

The response from Christian is almost instantaneous.

_**Congratulations, but you do realise you are totally fucked, that little girl will own your soul!**_Gideon reads the message and laughs.

_**I have just said much the same thing - I already know I'm screwed!**_Gideon replies.

I feel my phone vibrating, and pull it out and smile at the message, it's from Ana so she was obviously with Christian when he got the message.

_**Congratulations Eva, wow a daughter xx**_

I quickly text back, letting her know how thrilled we both are. When we get outside Angus is waiting for us as usual and Gideon beams at him.

"It's a girl, a little baby girl, we are having a daughter" he says and shows Angus the latest scan picture.

"Congratulations lad," Angus says as he looks at the picture.

In the Bentley on our way to the Crossfire, Gideon sends the scan picture to Ireland and tells her the news and she soon calls back with a squeal so loud I can hear it and Gideon pulls his phone from his ear.

"Lower the volume Ireland," he growls at her, and then presses the speaker button so I can listen in, not that I had any difficulty hearing her initial squeal.

"Sorry, oh my god Gideon you are having a little girl, well Eva is but you know what I mean, oh I will be the best Aunty to her, I will take her shopping, it will be great!" Gideon laughs at her excitement.

"That won't be happening for a while Ireland, as generally speaking babies aren't too interested in shopping spree's" he teases gently.

"I meant when she gets older, obviously!" Ireland retorts. Then she gets serious for a moment, "Can I tell mom?" she asks.

Gideon sighs and I reach for his hand and grip it.

"If you want to" he says in a clipped tone, I shake my head sadly.

My instincts to the fact Elizabeth's apology was not genuine were spot on, they weren't genuine, she had only come that day to apologise, because she felt she had to, and her primary motive for it was not for Gideon's piece of mind but to get Chris to return to her. She had tried to assure us that she had been sincere in her apology and that she had meant every word, Gideon had told her that he believed that but it was obvious he had felt hurt once again by his mother. There was one good thing to come out of the whole mess, and that is Gideon is now much closer to his step father Chris has assured Gideon he will be there for him.

I am drawn from my thoughts and realise Gideon isn't talking to Ireland any more I listen and I smile when I realise he is talking to Chris and telling him about our news.

"A daughter eh? Well congratulations Gideon – to you and Eva, I am thrilled for you both, does your mother know yet?" Chris asks carefully.

I see Gideon stiffen, "I haven't told her personally, but Ireland knows so I'm sure she will know by the end of the day," he says rather coldly.

I hear Chris sigh, "Oh Gideon, I'm so sorry, but I am absolutely thrilled for you both" Chris says kindly.

"Thank you Chris, I appreciate that" Gideon says gratefully. I realise we have arrived at the Crossfire, Gideon wraps up his call to Chris and we head inside ready to face another day.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting in my office, a fabulous corner office not a cubicle but a proper office with walls and a door. I stare around me, never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider that I would be in the position I am now when I moved to New York last year. I rub my bump, and look at the wedding ring on my finger.

This time last year I was sending out my resume to companies around the US looking for work in advertising and when I got the job at Waters, Field and Leaman one of the most highly respected advertising companies in the country and I thought I'd hit the jackpot. Little did I know that, that move was just a stepping stone to even bigger things.

I think about my dad in California, Dr Travis who was my therapist in California and who helped put me back together after what Nathan did to me which leads me on think about my friend Cary Taylor. I haven't seen Cary for months since he moved away with Trey I tell myself that is how it is meant to be, that we are all moving on with our lives but it hurts a little that he has moved on quite so comprehensively. I suddenly feel emotional and I wipe a stray tear that has leaked out of my eye, and I reach for my phone.

Without hesitation I call my dad, and I wait as it rings out.

"Hello" I hear the familiar warm voice of my father and I am nearly undone as it comes to me down the line.

"Hi daddy" I say brightly dashing away another tear.

"Eva, how are you and how's that grandbaby of mine? I saw you on the breakfast news yesterday morning and it said your friend Ana is expecting as well?" he says.

"Yes she is, and we are all hoping she goes to term this time and doesn't miscarry again like the last time. I don't think Christian will cope if she has another miscarriage" I say as I rest my hand on my bump.

"They are nice people so I hope it goes well for them, will you pass on my congratulations to them?" my father asks.

I smile at his thoughtfulness, "I will daddy, listen I have some news. Gideon and I found out that we are having a little girl today, and I just wanted to share that news with you" I say.

There is a brief silence, and when my father speaks again his voice is hoarse with emotion, "A little girl eh? That's wonderful, it was the happiest day of my life the day your mother gave birth to you" he says, "Is Gideon happy?" he adds.

"He's over the moon, he is a little overwhelmed though, and also he said he's totally screwed now!" I giggle at the memory.

My father laughs, "If she is anything like you then yes he is, I'll give him a call and offer him some tips!" he says flippantly.

"I think he'd really like that" I say.

"I was joking Eva!" my father says.

"No, seriously dad, he would appreciate it, please call him and talk to him, this is between you and me, but he worries about what you think of him, he doesn't care what anyone else in the world thinks of him, but your opinion of him is different he cares what you think and I'm sure he'd love for you to call him" I say.

There is a silence for a moment and then my dad responds to that, "Ok, I'll call him, you know, I was worried when you two first got together as it was all so full on so quickly and then you married I was concerned with his wealth and everything, but he really seems to think the world of you and that's good enough for me. I guess I could tell him that as well when I call him, let him know everything is good, what do you think?" my father asks.

"That would be great daddy, but please don't tell him what I have told you" I say.

"I won't Eva don't worry about it, I need to call him anyway to arrange this weekend thing with Christian and Ray. It said on the news that there was going to be some kind of trial for that business with the helicopter. I was talking to Ray about it and he said it was all pretty open and shut, the evidence was staggering against the three men involved and he seems to think it should be all over pretty quickly and Ray thought it would be a good idea to go way for that weekend after it was all over, as he seemed to think Christian would appreciate it as well, to unwind after the trial, what do you think?"

"That sounds a wonderful idea, we could all go and Ana and I could chill out while you men go off doing your thing!" I say.

"Ray said he is looking forward to going hunting, he said Ana would enjoy that too, he said she is a crack shot with a gun?"

I snort with laughter, "I don't think that will happen, somehow I can't see Christian being too keen on Ana going shooting while she is pregnant!" I say.

"Well no, probably not," my father concedes, "but I like Ray and I have spoken to him a few times, he said he is going to the trial to support Ana… is it Ana or Annie, he always seems to call her Annie but everyone else refers to her as Ana?"

I smile at that, "Her full name is Anastasia but she hates it. Only Ray calls her Annie, everyone else calls her Ana, except for Christian who also calls her baby" I explain.

"Look I have to go dad, I need to get on with some work" I say eventually after we have chatted a while longer.

"Yes I need to go I am on duty in an hour so I have to get moving too! You take care of yourself Eva and I'll talk to you soon, I'll give Gideon a call and have a chat with him give him some tips on how to handle daughters who try and wrap their daddies around their little fingers!" he says teasing me.

I laugh, "You wouldn't have it any other way!" I retort.

"No you're right, I wouldn't, bye for now Eva" he says.

"Bye daddy and stay safe" I say.

"I will honey, bye".

The line goes dead and I feel my eyes filling with tears again. I look up to see my husband standing in front of me.

"Angel what's wrong?" he asks anxiously coming to me and crouching in front me, he places his hands on my lap, "Are you in pain?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No I was just talking to my dad, I told him we were having a girl and I'm just a bit emotional, must be the hormones" I say with a sniff.

Gideon looks relieved and wraps his arm around me. I push away from him. "What brings you here, what's up?" I ask.

"I came to see if my wife wanted to come with me and join me for lunch?" he says standing and offering his hand to me.

I stand take the offered hand, "I would love to" I say with a grin.

I quickly summarise the work I have completed this morning and the concepts that I have come up with for the forthcoming advertising campaigns for various Cross industries subsidiaries. Gideon quickly looks through them and smiles. He nods at me pride shining from his eyes.

"Very impressive - It was the best decision I ever made persuading you to come and work with me here" he says. He puts down the paperwork and pulls me close.

"Let's go to lunch Angel" he whispers and places a small kiss on my lips, before leading me from the room.

**oooOOOooo**

"So, when are we flying out to Seattle?" I ask between mouthfuls of food.

"Early next week" Gideon replies, "the trial starts next Wednesday and Raul has to testify because of the information we discovered on Welch, and his link with Garrett. I have to testify because I was there right from the outset from when it was discovered that they were missing I was there on the ground with the Salvage team when we recovered Charlie Tango, and was there when the engineers found the sabotage, and I was also there when everything else came out about Welch".

Gideon rubs his face, "I just worry about Ana, she has to testify and relive everything from Christian disappearing, firing Welch, the revelations about him, the footage from Boeing Field, the meeting she had with the team, the fact one of her closest friends was involved and then the fact that fucker Garrett wanted to take her to get money out of Christian and the fact he held her at gunpoint, having to go through all that, I just hope that the stress isn't too much," he says.

I nod; I still have the memory of Christian in total meltdown when Ana suffered the miscarriage before, lost and grieving over the sudden loss of his son and panic stricken that he was going to lose his wife as well. I believe he would have been much worse had we not been there, but as it was he was bad enough and he had to be sedated as he was so out of control. I want to get this train of thought out of my head and my mind returns to my conversation with my dad.

"When I was talking to my dad, he said he had been talking to Ray and they thought it would be a good idea to do that boy's weekend away thing after the trial is over" I say.

Gideon nods, "Yeah that sounds like a good idea, I was talking to Ray myself the other night, he is attending the trial – to support Christian and Ana, do you think he knows about the fact Hyde hitting him was deliberate and set up by Jose?"

"I don't know if Ana has told him" I say with a shrug.

Gideon shakes his head, "I just wish both Christian and I could catch a break and just have good things happen for a while" he says sadly.

He has finished his meal and looks so sad when he says that that I finish my last mouthful of food and then I reach for him and I grasp his hand and place it on my bump.

"Gideon remember feeling your daughter move and how happy that made you feel, just think of that thought, and when you saw her on the scan, we have the 3D scan coming up where you will see her again in more detail, you have your boys weekend coming up with Christian, Ray and my dad, Ana and I will be there even if we don't participate in the outdoor stuff and before we know it this little one will be out here in the big wide world and by the end of the year Ana and Christian will have their baby too, so there are lots of good things coming along, so focus on them," I kiss his cheek and he moves his head and captures my mouth with his and takes over the kiss, a slow deep moan coming from him as he devours my mouth.

He pulls away gasping, "I'm so fucking hard right now," he whispers.

I smile and glance down at the tell tale bulge straining against his zipper.

"Well this is a discreet corner, but I don't think you'd get away with fucking me on the table, so you need to think of something else" I say with amusement.

He grins at me, "How can I when you are right here. I can't think of anything other than you when you are right in front of me, although having said that I find it hard to think of anything other than you at any time these days, even when I am not with you" he says quietly and caresses my face gently.

I lean into his touch and my heart leaps at his words. "Oh you have got it bad!" I tease.

"You made me that way Mrs Cross," he retorts.

I press a kiss to his lips, "You'll have people saying you've lost your edge, that I've tamed you and made you soft" I say, continuing to tease him.

He shakes his head, "No my killer instinct is still there, I have my edge. It's just you have shown me that there is more to life, hell you have given me a life and it's now a life worth living, before I was just existing. I lived for my work, my company because I didn't know any better, but now I have a life worth living and I'll be damned if I'll let anyone take it away from me and I need you to know what you mean to me, what you have given me".

He pauses and then suddenly snorts with humourless laughter, "hell just let anyone try and take you or this life you have given me away and see how soft I am, I would destroy anyone who tried," he says ominously.

I am feeling so turned on at this moment by what he has said I stare at him, "Gideon take me home, now," I whisper.

He looks at his watch and smiles, then he pulls out his phone, "Scott cancel my 2pm through to 3pm and reschedule, something important has come up, I'll be back in the office for my 3.15, if that changes I'll notify you accordingly".

He hangs up and makes another call, "Angus, Mrs Cross and I are ready to leave, please bring the car round now".

He hangs up and motions to a waiter, who immediately attends to us. Gideon quickly pays the bill and grasping my hand we leave and Angus is outside waiting for us as we get outside.

When we arrive at the Penthouse Gideon practically drags me inside, he impatiently fidgets in the elevator on the way up and I smile. Gideon doesn't fidget as a rule but he just wants me as badly as I want him. When the elevator doors finally open he grasps my hand and drags me into the penthouse and straight to the bedroom. Before I know it I am naked and he is looming over me on the bed, his hands and mouth are all over me.

"Gideon" I say and I moan as his mouth encloses my breast and his teeth tug gently on my nipple, my hands grip his hair and tug as the sensation of him gently biting me shoots through me.

He leaves my breast and his mouth slowly moves south, gently leaving a trail of kisses down my body, his hands caress my bump and he pays particular attention to it kissing it and stroking it reverently, before moving between my legs. I take a sharp breath in as he plunges a finger inside me, and then before I can process what he is doing his mouth is on me, his tongue is probing and his teeth find my swollen clit and he gently nips it. I jump at the sensation and his tongue caresses where he has just nipped, I am desperate for him.

"Gideon please, I need you inside me" I gasp and try and urge him closer, I feel him smile against me.

"Not yet Angel," is his muffled response.

I am filled with sensation, his tongue, his fingers, he is relentless. I feel myself building this seems to go on for an eternity, he gently caresses and just does enough to make me desperate for him but not enough to make me come then just as I feel I can't take any more of it he changes pace and just as suddenly I am there and I am desperate for release and as I am about to orgasm he stops and moves suddenly and the next thing I know he pulls my hips and he plunges into me, the sudden over full feeling of him inside me sets me off and with an arch of my back and screaming out his name I explode around him, but he doesn't pause for a second he sets a relentless pace and I feel myself building once more, I match him move for move as he fucks me through my orgasm and making me build towards another even more intense one. He is now chasing his own release and his pace becomes more frenzied, there is desperation to his touch and I look up at him, he is grunting with every thrust and as I run my hands down his back digging my nails in as I come close to another orgasm I feel the dampness of sweat coating him.

"Gideon, I'm going to come again" I gasp.

"Do it Angel, come now" he demands and I do, I tighten around him gripping him tightly and I'm screaming out once again as I find my release and he lets out a roar as he comes violently inside me.

We are both a panting sweaty mess as he collapses beside me, pulling me close.

"Shit Angel that was incredible" he gasps.

"Just a bit" I say a little bit dazed.

As I lie there trying to re-gather my scrambled thought I feel the baby moving about, I reach for Gideon and place his hand on my bump so he can feel it.

"She's probably wondering what the hell was going on!" I giggle as Gideon stares at my stomach.

He smiles at my words and then suddenly it disappears and he looks seriously at me.

"I wasn't too rough was I?" He asks.

I shake my head, "No you were wonderful as always" I say and press a kiss to his nose.

I happen to glance down and am shocked to note that he is like stone once again between us.

"I can't believe you are ready to go again already!" I say.

He looks down and shrugs, "I'm always ready for you Angel, and you should know that by now!"


	52. Chapter 52

CHAPTER 52

_Four days later, early Monday morning..._

"Angel, come on wake up", I open my eyes to Gideon gently shaking me he smiles down at me and hands me a mug of steaming coffee.

"Here, drink this" he says as he offers me the coffee.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Early – it's all you need to know, but we need to get going or we will miss our flight slot" he says.

I nod and yawn before sipping the coffee gratefully, but then cringing at the taste; I really hate this decaffeinated stuff and will be glad when I can have my regular coffee again.

All too soon we are on our way to the airport, I have my head resting on Gideon's shoulder as the Bentley travels through the New York streets.

"You can sleep when we get on the plane Angel," he mutters to me and I nod.

We arrive in Seattle early it is only about 9am when we land and we go straight to our apartment. Gideon has called Christian and told him we have arrived and we are heading over to Grey House to meet up with Christian and Ana later. I love this Seattle apartment, much smaller than the New York Penthouse but still large by apartment standards. We take our time and then late morning I text Ana and tell her we are on our way as we leave the apartment, she doesn't reply and the reason becomes clear when we arrive at Grey House.

We head straight up to Christian's office and as we approach we hear the raised voices of Ana and Christian clearly having a blazing row. I look at Gideon and he returns my worried glance, with raised eyebrows.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE ANA YOU ARE PREGNANT" comes the agitated voice of Christian Grey his voice resounding along the corridor.

There is no-one around as we approach, they have either gone for an early lunch or are all in hiding, as we go closer Taylor appears and smiles ruefully at us.

"Sorry about this" he says nodding his head towards the shouting coming from Christian's office. "They have been at it all morning".

"Why? What's happened?" I ask.

Taylor hesitates and then pulls us to one side, "I'm really not supposed to say, but between you and me, strictly between you and me he is terrified Ana is going to suffer another miscarriage and as a result he has been driving her crazy. He is being totally irrational and overbearing about everything, I've never known him this bad," he shakes his head sadly and Gideon pats his shoulder.

"Thank you Taylor" he says.

I look at my husband, and I can see he is so out of his depth at this moment, he has no idea what to do for the best.

I realise someone has to step in and stop them and it becomes obvious to me at least that, that someone is going to be me. I glance at Gideon and then walk past Taylor and straight to Christian's office, Gideon stares at me panic stricken.

"Eva no, don't interfere" he says.

I shake my head at him, "Gideon, just listen to them, we have to do something," I say as the shouting intensifies.

I hear Ana's voice; she is clearly very distressed as her shouts reverberate from the room.

"CHRISTIAN WILL YOU STOP IT YOU ARE SUFFOCATING ME!"

I can't stand it and I take a deep breath and walk in, both Christian and Ana are standing in the middle of the floor both rigid with anger and frustration glaring at each other. I look from Christian to Ana and shake my head.

"Come on Ana come with me," I say gently I grasp her arm and as I do so she dissolves into tears and falls into my arms.

I wrap my arms around her and glare at Christian.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snap at him and I see the anger immediately vanish replaced with a myriad of emotions first shock then panic and then shame and guilt. He takes a step towards us and I hold my hand up.

"No, you stay right there, you calm down and you stop acting like an asshole. Come on Ana let's get out of here" I say and lead her to the door.

I glance up at Gideon who is staring at me warily, I meet his eyes, "Try and talk some sense into him before it's too late," I say sharply and giving Christian another filthy look Ana and I leave.

As we are leaving Grey House Luke appears and asks us where we want to go, I pull out my phone and quickly text Kate and Mia and see if they can meet up with us. I quickly get positive responses and we arrange to meet at a small restaurant close by for an early lunch.

As Ana and I are sitting talking and she has calmed down she tells me how overbearing Christian is being.

"It's awful Eva, he is unbearable. He is totally out of control. The trial is causing him stress and he is worried about the effect it is going to have on me, but what he doesn't realise is what he is doing is stressing me out even more. He won't let me go anywhere or do anything without either him or Luke with me he's driving me insane. In fact, I have come so close this week to throwing the towel in as I can't stand it anymore. I know he has issues, I know he panics about my safety and I have accepted that and made allowances for it but that has increased tenfold since I became pregnant especially after what happened last time but I can't and won't be controlled and leashed like some kind of pet dog. I'm his wife, an equal partner in this relationship, and if he doesn't start treating like that then well..." she stops and shrugs.

I gasp I have never seen Ana look so defeated, I grip her hand as she continues to speak.

"I've had enough! It's making me ill Eva, I am sick of fighting with him, it's ridiculous. My blood pressure is up, Dr Green was concerned on my last visit about it, and she said it was higher than it should be for this stage of pregnancy. I don't want to leave him, as it will destroy him. I try to be understanding as I know why he behaves the way he does but I just can't take it anymore".

She stops and the silence hangs over us, I look up and see Kate and Mia arrive, they too have worried expressions. I stand and hug them both.

"Hi thanks for joining us" I say brightly, they both sit down and Kate looks at Ana carefully.

"What's he done?" she says with no preamble.

I quickly outline what Gideon and I walked in on at Grey House and how I decided to get Ana out and leave Christian to talk to Gideon. Kate raises her eyebrows.

Mia shakes her head. "I knew something was going on last week, Christian is so scared Ana is going to have another miscarriage, that's what this is all about" she says.

"What he fails to realise is though that his attitude and what he is doing is causing more harm and stress than anything else that's happening at the moment" Kate says bluntly.

Ana nods in agreement. We order some lunch and throughout our time together, I see Ana slowly start to relax and smile genuinely. Kate and Mia talk about silly insignificant things, I show them a copy of the latest scan we had and the atmosphere is happy and relaxed. By the time Kate and Mia leave Ana looks like her old self.

All too soon Kate glances at her watch and sighs.

"I have to get back to work" she says sadly and finishes her drink with a single gulp, we all stand and Kate hugs Ana tightly and then turns to me.

"Take care of her" she whispers in my ear, I nod.

"I will, and I'll make Christian see sense" I vow firmly, which produces a wicked grin from Kate.

Mia also decides she has to go and she hugs us. Ana and I watch them leave and Ana sighs, the atmosphere has taken a nosedive at the departure of Kate and Mia and I need to think of something quickly.

I remember Ana and Christian are staying in the city at Escala because of the forthcoming trial so they are on the ground for the duration. As I think about this fact, an idea pops into my head and starts to formulate.

"Ana, lets go to Escala and pack a bag and come and stay with us for a couple of nights get some space and perspective on things" I suggest. I see her think for a moment and then she nods.

"Thank you, I'd like that," she says gratefully.

We head to Escala and Ana goes to the bedroom and pulls out a duffel bag and starts putting clothes in it.

Luke looks a little uncomfortable when he realises what we are doing. "Mrs Grey may I ask what you are doing?" he asks warily.

Ana smiles at him, "I'm not leaving Christian, if that is what you are worried about, but I am taking a little time out, I need space which is something Christian is very reluctant to give me at the moment, and if he won't give it to me then I am just going to take it," she says as carries on packing.

"Mrs Grey, you do realise that I need to tell T what you are doing and where you are going" Luke pleads as he watches Ana packing her overnight bag.

I can tell he is torn, between helping Ana get a little time to herself and having to deal with a pissed off Christian Grey.

Ana stands up and shakes her head. "No you don't Luke because I am going to tell him" she replies calmly, pulling out her phone.

I watch as she dials a number and waits. "Hi Jason, yes I'm fine. Listen I am at Escala at the moment I am packing some things as I am going to stay with Eva and Gideon at their apartment for a couple of days while they are in Seattle, to give Christian and I some space... no, well we are staying at Escala at the moment anyway with the trial and everything so I have enough things here... no I don't think I'll need anything from the house on the sound but thank you... yes, I know he won't like it, but I need to get away just for a short time, he's driving me insane Jason... yes I know... yes I know he will, but I'm not leaving him, I'm just giving myself some space to breathe... ok yes I know you will have to tell him... yes ok, well can you at least give me a head start? If he comes here he'll only try and stop me and we will end up fighting again... thank you Jason I appreciate that, ok thank you, bye Jason".

I watch as she hangs up and turns towards me, "Jason is giving us half an hour before he tells Christian what I am doing," she says and with that we quickly finish packing and head to our apartment.

When we arrive I show Ana to the guest room and she puts her bag down and takes off her coat, I look at her and notice a tiny barely there bump and I smile as I point at it. Her hands immediately close over it and she nods.

"Yes, every day I am finding I don't fit into something else" she says with a grin.

She looks longingly at the bed and I notice how tired she looks.

"Why don't you lie down and have a nap" I suggest and she nods.

"Thank you Eva, I think I will, I'm sorry I've not been very good company" she says.

I hug her tightly, "don't you dare, you just lie down and get some rest. I'm guessing we have about an hour at the most before Christian arrives, but don't worry I'll handle him, you just get some sleep".

Ana nods at me and kicks off her shoes and climbs on to the bed, within moments her breathing levels and she is sound asleep. I shake my head and stare at her, Luke walks up beside me.

"She needs this badly, he is driving her insane but I wouldn't like to be you when T tells him what you two have done," he says ominously.

I know exactly what is going to happen and I brace myself for Hurricane Christian.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I stare at Eva in shock, she has never spoken to me like that before, how fucking dare she?! Then before I can retort I stop and I see Ana sobbing in her arms and it hits me, she is right what the hell am I doing? I am being a total bastard to my wife.

I am letting all my insecurities and fears overwhelm me and I am making her life a total misery, it dawns on me that while I am terrified she is going to lose the baby, the irony is the way I am behaving is causing her stress which could potentially cause the very thing I am afraid of. I step forward and try to make things right but Eva stops me.

"No, you stay right there, you calm down and you stop acting like an asshole, come on Ana lets get out of here".

I watch helplessly as she leads my wife from my office, I feel helpless I hear Eva speak to Gideon who has appeared in the doorway.

"Try and talk some sense into him before it's too late" she says and turns to give me another filthy look which is nothing less than what I deserve after the way I have been behaving.

I watch Ana and Eva disappear with Sawyer and I feel like dirt. I look at Gideon who is staring at me, I can tell he is out of his depth here, he doesn't know what to say to me. I gesture towards the sofa and he walks over silently and sits down.

"I'm sorry you had to see and hear that," I say as a way to break the oppressive silence and hope to stimulate some sort of conversation between us. I am feeling lost now, my wife has gone, and I just have no idea what to do to make this better.

Gideon shrugs, "I have no idea what to say to you, but you do realise that sort of behaviour isn't right don't you?" he says.

I nod sadly, "I know, I'm just so fucking scared something is going to happen to Ana and the baby" I stop and run my hands through my hair, I feel myself getting agitated again and I stand up and grab my crutches.

"Christian just sit the fuck down and talk to me," Gideon says, I do as he says and I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head.

"What do you want to me to say, that I'm a fucking idiot who is a controlling overbearing fool," I say still staring at the floor.

"Well it's a start," he says trying to lighten the atmosphere, I stare at him for a moment, and the silence descends on us again.

Gideon stands up suddenly, "Look, let's get out of here, go for some lunch. Ana is with Eva and she will be fine, just talk to me, tell me what's going through your head".

He gestures towards the door and I stand and grab my jacket.

"Ok, thanks" I say and follow him out, Taylor is waiting for us and I know he is disgusted with the way I have been behaving recently, "Where did Ana and Eva go are they alright?" I ask.

Taylor nods and informs me that Eva has taken Ana out for lunch and she invited Kate and Mia along.

"Luke has told me that Mrs Grey is fine, she is relaxed and enjoying herself with Mrs Cross. Miss Kavanagh and Miss Grey have joined them as well" he says.

Great that's all I need, motor mouth Kavanagh sticking the boot in. I nod but I don't say anything as Gideon, Taylor and I head down the elevator in silence.

I am tempted to ask where the ladies have gone for lunch so we can join them, but thankfully I realise that would be a very bad idea before I open my mouth. If today has proved anything Ana wants space from me, she feels suffocated. Taylor said she is relaxed and happy with Eva, Kate and Mia; I will only destroy that happiness if I show up uninvited.

Gideon and I arrive at a small restaurant and we take a private seat and I glance at the menu to order.

"So, as my wife so elegantly put it, what the hell is wrong with you?" Gideon asks trying once again to lighten the atmosphere.

I sigh and rub my eyes. "I have no fucking idea, I can see myself doing these stupid things, I can see it but I just can't seem to stop myself. Ana is so pissed off with me, I have been keeping tabs on her movements which is nothing out of the ordinary, but I may have gone overboard a little when she had a meeting with an author and didn't tell me about it, and also when she went to see the prosecution team to go over some stuff for the trial and didn't ask me to go with her. I may have over reacted... slightly" I stop, recalling the situations in my mind and looking at them logically I cringe, "I behaved like a complete asshole" I say sadly.

Gideon raises his eyebrows, "Ok we've established you've behaved like an asshole, but now we have to find out why?" he stops and looks at me again.

I snort, "That's the million dollar question, you sound like Flynn you know" I say. Gideon smiles at me.

"I'm not sure what to say to that considering how I feel about shrinks" he says, I look up at him in surprise as I always thought he got on well with Flynn.

"Yes but Flynn has helped you hasn't he?" I say, as I know Gideon has video sessions with Flynn via Skype.

Gideon nods, "undoubtedly, but we are not talking about me" he says.

"No, we're not" I admit, I take a gulp of the glass of wine in front of me and then sigh, "I am just so fucking scared Gideon, everything that happened last year, and how Ana lost the baby, I can't go through it again, I just can't" I say.

Gideon nods, "But you do realise the way you are behaving is causing the very stress you are trying to avoid, you are putting Ana in the very position you don't want her to be in by behaving like..." he trails off.

"An asshole" I finish.

I nod, "I know and I can see that, as we were screaming at each other earlier and she told me I was suffocating her, I knew it was my fault, I knew I should stop and be more rational but I just don't have a clue how to. My fear takes over and I just become this totally irrational screaming idiot" I shake my head sadly, "If she loses our baby I will only have myself to blame for it" I say.

"Christian, you need to get a fucking grip and pull yourself together, Ana is a strong intelligent woman, and she is capable of making her own decisions. She knows what this baby means to you and she wouldn't do anything to jeopardise it, but the way you are carrying on you are pushing her away" Gideon says harshly.

I look up at him, fear streaking through me, I had never even considered that scenario. "You think she would leave me?" I ask hoarsely.

Gideon shrugs, "You tell me, would you stay with you at the moment?" he says.

I go cold at the thought, Ana is a strong independent woman who resents me smothering her, and I am going to lose her if I don't stop it. This realisation gives me the biggest wake up call I have ever had. I pull my phone out, I need to speak to Ana.

"What are you doing?" Gideon asks.

"I need to speak to Ana" I say.

He shakes his head, "No, you need to leave her the hell alone. Let her relax and give her some space, she loves you Christian, you just need to know when to back off and leave her be". He pulls my phone from my hand and pushes it into his pocket raising his eyebrows at me daring me to argue with him.

We finish our lunch we sit and talk about the forthcoming trial and everything else that is going on, Gideon shows me the latest scan picture he has, and I show him ours. I tell him that I can't wait until we find out what we are having; I know he will be a wonderful father but I can also see him being totally overprotective towards his daughter. Gideon asks me what I am hoping for I think carefully before I answer.

"I'll be just happy with healthy" I say diplomatically, and then I continue with the truth "but the thought that our baby could be a girl makes me break out in a cold sweat at times. I have no idea how I could ever be a father to a little girl with my past. I objectified women for so long, the thought of a girl - my daughter coming into contact with someone like me when she gets older ..." I stop and shake my head. "Let's just say I hope it's a boy for everyone's sanity".

Gideon nods, "I agree, I wasn't the best example of the male species either, I used women and did things I'm not proud of, and the thought of someone doing what I did and doing them to my daughter, takes me to a very dark place" he stops and shakes his head.

I don't know how long we sit there chatting and talking about nothing in particular but eventually we head back to Grey House. I wonder what Ana is doing a few times but resist the urge to call her. Gideon gave me back my phone when we left the restaurant but Ana hasn't called me.

About half an hour after we returned to Grey House, Taylor walks into the office.

"Erm excuse me sir, Mrs Grey called me," I immediately look up my attention fixed on Taylor.

"Is she ok, what's wrong?" I ask immediately panic stricken.

"She's fine sir, she asked me to let you know, she is staying with Mr and Mrs Cross for a while, and that she said she needed some space," he says.

I leap to my feet, she's leaving me. I turn to Gideon, who looks as shocked by this news as I do.

"Did you know about this?" I ask him sharply.

He shakes his head. "No I swear to god Christian I didn't" he says as he holds up his hands.

"Where is she?" I snap at Taylor.

"She is at Mr and Mrs Cross' apartment sir" he says.

"Take me there now" I demand as I reach for my crutches.

_Across town, at Gideon and Eva's apartment..._

**(EVA)**

Ana is still asleep and I am waiting for when Christian discovers where she is, I hear Luke walk in the room and he coughs.

"Erm, Mrs Cross, I just thought I'd let you know, T just text me, Mr Grey and Mr Cross are on their way over" he looks at me and from his expression I take it he is expecting that Christian is in a state.

"Ok thanks Luke, Ana is asleep, and I want to try and keep it that way" he nods and quickly sends a text.

A few moments later I hear voices in the hallway and then the door flies open and Christian comes in followed by Gideon, I immediately stand and Gideon looks questioningly at me from behind Christian.

"Where's my wife?" Christian snarls, looking around and gripping his crutches so tightly that it almost looks like he could crush them.

I glare at him, "Keep your fucking voice down, she is fast asleep in the guest room, she is exhausted, you are making her ill Christian" I say sharply.

"So you persuaded her to leave me" he retorts childishly.

I stare at him unable to believe what I am hearing, Gideon walks towards me and I put my hand up to stop him. I move towards Christian and get right in his face.

"Yes I did," I say calmly and I see the hurt and pain in his eyes, as he gasps at me and takes a step back but I continue before he can say anything. "I offered her our spare room just for a couple of days so she can get the space she is craving, so she can relax without you constantly breathing down her neck and suffocating her, so she can get some perspective and some peace and quiet".

I stop and I see my words have hit home. I pause for a moment before I continue in a slightly softer tone. I reach out and touch Christian's arm gently.

"Christian you are driving her insane, your fear that something is going to happen to her or the baby will be a self fulfilling prophecy if you don't stop it. You are stressing her out; do you know what she said to me?"

I pause and he shakes his head, I take a deep breath "she said and this is word for word - he's driving me insane, she said you're being unbearable, and she said she can't and won't be controlled and leashed like some kind of pet dog, and... and..." I stop.

"She said she's leaving me" Christian says in a small voice.

I shake my head, "No, but she thought about it, she said she had come close to throwing in the towel this week. She loves you Christian, but you have to lighten up and give her some space and let her breathe, or there will come a day when she _will_ say enough is enough. Christian I have never seen Ana so beaten down as she was today, you are making her ill and what you are doing and the stress you are causing is putting your child at risk".

I stop I glance at Gideon and he smiles reassuringly at me. I watch as Christian sits down on the sofa and puts his head in his hands. I sit down beside him and wrap my arm around his shoulder.

"Is she sleeping now?" he asks.

I nod, "She is" I say.

"May I go and see her, I won't wake her but I just need to see her?" he asks.

I nod and he stands and Gideon leads the way to the guest room. I follow and watch as Gideon opens the door. Ana is still curled up fast asleep; she looks so peaceful and Christian stands in the doorway just staring at her.

After a moment he turns away and closes the door quietly. It breaks my heart to see him looking so lost. I touch his arm offering a little comfort.

"She's not leaving you. I promise you, she loves you too much" I say.

He nods at me, "I'm going to book an emergency appointment with Flynn, I need to get myself under control" he glances back at the guest room, "Please take care of her" he says.

I nod, "Of course we will" I say. "I'll tell her you stopped by as well when she wakes up, she loves you Christian".

He nods sadly and sits down again on the sofa, pulling out his phone he makes a call, Gideon and I move away but I know that he is on the phone to John Flynn, when he is finished he stands goes to leave, "I got an appointment in 20 minutes so I need to go" he says.

I watch as Gideon shows him out. When Christian is gone, Gideon comes over and pulls me close, not a word is spoken between us but the tender way he is holding me speaks to me more than any words ever could.


	53. Chapter 53

CHAPTER 53

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am sitting in Escala alone, I had some extensive time with John Flynn today after my appalling behaviour this morning, and he has given me some tips and exercises to work on to try and help me deal with balancing Ana's independence with my need for total control.

He didn't need to tell me, to make me see how wrong I have been. I figured that one out all by myself. John said that was progress on my part, as previously I wouldn't have even considered what I was doing was unacceptable. He also said the fact I had accepted Ana's decision, and I had given her the space she wanted, was also progress on my part and a positive step. I however, don't see me accepting the fact that my wife needed to leave me as anything other than negative. I am grateful that Eva stepped in when she did, otherwise I dread to think what would have happened and how far out of control the situation could have got.

I throw back my bourbon and rest my head back and close my eyes. I am desperate to talk to Ana and apologise, not to mention beg her to come home but I will honour her wish to have space from me, as much as it destroys me inside to do so as it's no more than I deserve.

John said I need to think how I would feel if I was put in the position Ana was in. If someone was micromanaging me and going ape shit every time I stepped out of line. It made me think of what Gideon had said to me earlier, _'Would you stay with you?_' he had asked when I asked him if he thought Ana would leave me. I feel the dread and panic rising in me and my chest tightens at the thought that Ana _has_ had enough and that I have driven her away, again. Eva assured me that Ana loves me and isn't contemplating leaving me permanently, but just wants a little time to herself, but I can't help worrying that now she taken that step and has gone, she won't be back.

As I sit there in the muted light I think about my wonderful, beautiful wife, the woman who stole my heart and who told me that I was worth loving. I snort at that, worth loving? The way I treat her I'm worth shit, I don't deserve a damn thing.

She was the woman who broke down all my defences and walls, with her gentle kindness and love, and she was the first person I ever allowed, willingly, to touch me. I think of how she was willing to try to be my sub and participate in a lifestyle which is intense when she had no sexual experience at all, and how as a result I nearly lost her completely after she left when I hit her with the belt, and how realised at that point that I needed her more than my lifestyle and I fought to win her back. How time and again I've let her down, how I behaved so badly when she discovered she was pregnant with our son and even accused her of sleeping with Gideon. I eventually managed to win her back again only to let her down again when she lost our baby and I couldn't hold it together and ended up having to be sedated for my own safety when she needed me to be strong for her.

As I sit there reminiscing and wallowing in all my past stupidity I perceive movement out the corner of my eye and I lift my head up and I draw in a sharp breath as I see her standing there. At first I think I am seeing things, she isn't really there and it's just my imagination because I want her to come home so badly, but then she smiles at me.

I reach for my crutches and struggle to my feet and make my way towards her, as I do so she starts to walk towards me.

"Ana, baby I'm so sorry" I gasp.

I stop in front of her I want to take her in my arms and never let go but something stops me, I wait for her response and I grip my crutches tightly and fear cascades through me, is she here to tell me we are finished, is this is it, the end? My throat tightens and I feel like I can't breathe, as the pain at the thought of that surges through every part of me. I watch her closely, desperately trying to read her to find out if I have finally, completely destroyed us.

"Let's sit down," she says quietly.

I nod and immediately move back to where I was sitting before and Ana takes my crutches from me and places them down before she sits down beside me and takes my hand between her two and strokes it gently.

"Christian we really need to talk about this. I can't live like this anymore, you are suffocating me and I need space to breathe. The way you have been behaving has put me under a lot of stress and I won't put up with it anymore. I have always made allowances for you and your more overbearing side, because of your need for control due to your past issues, but you can't keep behaving like this, but what really hurts is the fact you seem to think that I don't care about our baby…"

I see her struggle and her voice cracks with emotion as she pauses what she is saying and I am shocked, I don't think that at all, I could _never_ think that, I know in my heart she will be an exemplary mother, she put our unborn son first when I behaved like an asshole before, so I have no doubts that the baby she is carrying is her number one priority, but then I stop and think and as I go through my behaviour recently, I realise how it must look from her point of view, I open my mouth to speak but quickly stop when I realise she has more to say, so I stay quiet until she has finished, she swallows hard and looks straight at me with a look of steely determination.

"You should know that I won't do anything to put our baby at risk, as the guilt I still carry from the loss of our first child makes me determined not to do anything to put this one at risk". She says almost accusingly.

I nod, I need to make this right, and I grip her hand tightly as I begin to speak.

"I know baby and I am so, so sorry, I had something like an epiphany when I saw you sobbing on Eva's shoulder, it made me realise what I'd put you though and let me tell you, you have no reason to feel guilty". I look at her earnestly, willing her to believe me.

"I went to see John Flynn for an emergency session and he has given me some exercises and things to work on, he said I should talk to you about it so you can tell me when I overstep the line, I promise you baby, I'll do whatever it takes to fix this, I will change, I will try and give you the space you need," I stare into her eyes, pleadingly, desperately.

I watch as she nods at me, and smiles at me. "Ok" she says quietly.

I sag with relief at that one simple word, at this moment that one word means she hasn't thrown in the towel and given up on me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly to me.

"Thank you baby, I swear to god I won't let you down again".

Ana pulls away and stares at me, "Christian you haven't let anyone down. You just let your insecurities get the better of you at times".

She strokes my cheek and I close my eyes and lean into her touch.

"Ana" I say, I need to know if she really was going to leave me.

"Hmmm," she replies and looks at me questioningly.

"Eva said you felt like throwing in the towel this week and that... you... you seriously thought about... leaving me".

I stop the words catching in my throat as I can't bear to say them and I fear what Ana's answer will be.

She looks down briefly and sighs and my heart sinks, then she looks up again and speaks.

"Christian, you have to realise you were driving me insane, the way you behaved when you found out I had been to see the prosecution team about the trial was totally ridiculous, I just went to sign some papers and go over the evidence with them a final time, but the way you over reacted anyone would think I had gone and confronted Garrett, Jack Hyde and Jose personally, then the way you over reacted even more about it when I pointed that out to you and wouldn't see reason, it was unbelievable. I was at a complete loss I had no idea what to say or do to make you see reason".

I nod and bow my head in shame, as I recall that day, that certainly wasn't one of my proudest moments.

Ana takes another deep breath and I look up at her once more, and by the look on her face I know what she is going to say next and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"What really pissed me off though was when I had that meeting with one of my authors, and I forgot to mention it," she begins.

Yep, there it is, that was even by my standards one of the stupidest things I have ever done.

"Christian, I was in a meeting with my author and I switched my phone off so I could give him my full attention, not to spite you or to ignore you. I was at work; I was in no danger, nothing bad had happened. Do you have any idea how I felt when you came charging in the way you did? You embarrassed me and my author and you embarrassed yourself. You made yourself look completely ridiculous, I felt so insulted because you make me feel like you don't trust me when you behave that way, and I really thought we had got beyond that".

I nod, I knew I had not only crossed the line that day but totally obliterated it. Taylor had tried to reason with me, when he had established that Ana was safe and just in a meeting, but I hadn't listened as I was so furious that she was ignoring my calls. Luke had just stared at me as if I was totally insane when I had bulldozed my way in and as for Ana, she was furious at the way I had totally humiliated her in front of one of her authors. The worst part was, I could see myself behaving like a complete deranged idiot and yet I just couldn't stop.

"I don't like it and won't be micromanaged Christian, and then after today's latest tantrum, which to be fair to you in the big scheme of things, considering what you have done recently, didn't even register on the stupidity scale; but for me that outburst you had was the final straw and yes, I did seriously consider saying enough is enough, but I didn't, and you know why I didn't?" she stops and looks carefully at me.

All I can think of, is her words that I had pushed her so far, that she was considering leaving me, I shake my head, I can't say anything to her, hearing her say out loud what I did, and what that did to her. I am just so appalled at myself for what I have put her though, I feel myself spiralling downwards until I realise she is speaking again, I lift my head and listen to what she is saying.

"I didn't, because I love you too much," she says.

She pulls the hand that she has been holding throughout towards her puts it on her stomach, on the tiny barely there bump and I feel my breath catch.

"We won't leave you Christian, I promise you that, but please for all our sakes, you have to stop and think and stop over reacting because what you are doing is stressing me beyond belief, not mention completely pissing me off and that in turn isn't good for our baby".

I nod soberly, the relief I am feeling is huge. She isn't leaving me; once again she has forgiven me. I look at her; really look at her and I wonder what on earth I have done to deserve this wonderful woman.

"I promise you baby I won't, I swear I will try and curb my over reaction to situations. Will you help me? Will you tell me if I am stepping out of line? John said we need to communicate about it and you need to tell me when you think I am over reacting, so I can modify my behaviour accordingly, but he also said you need to try and remember to let me know when you are going places and doing things so that I don't panic when I can't reach you".

I stop and wait and watch as Ana considers this and she nods.

"That's fine, I can do that and I admit sometimes I forget to mention things and I will work on that, but you also have to remember I have Luke with me the majority of the time so you would know immediately if there were any issues and I thought Luke reported to Jason my movements? Perhaps, before you start to panic you ask Jason if he knows what is happening, you always used to do that, but since I have been pregnant you seem to have lost all reason and you just immediately jump to conclusions".

"I know" I say in agreement, "I promise you that I will try harder," I add.

"That's all I ask, and besides if anything did happen, you would be the first person I would call – you do know that don't you?" she says.

I sigh, "I know" I say again this time more quietly.

Ana stands up and smiles at me. "Let's go to bed" she says holding out her hand to me.

I stare at her in astonishment, "I... I thought you were staying with Gideon and Eva? You wanted some space?" I stammer in confusion.

"I was, but I got my rest. I got my space and my peace and quiet, I've had time to think things through and talk things over with Eva and I decided that I needed to come home to you, to talk to you to sort things out and to let you know how much I love you," she stops and smiles at me.

I am immediately on my feet and pulling her into my arms.

"Oh Ana, I don't deserve you," I whisper to her.

Relief has surged through me and now I just want to hold her close, but she pushes away from me and looks at me straight in the eye.

"You do, never think that Christian. You are a good man and everything you do, you do out of love, it's just that you don't always go about things the right way," she says and presses a gentle kiss on my chin.

I lower my head and press my lips to hers, kissing her chastely on the lips but the passion bursts between us and I am soon kissing her passionately.

"Come," I whisper hoarsely and after reaching for my crutches, I lead her towards our bedroom.

"Oh I want to!" Ana replies with a wicked grin.

As we make our way to the bedroom, I feel myself getting harder by the second, I don't want to rush this though, I want to take it nice and slowly and seduce her properly, when we finally reach the bedroom, I close the door and turn towards my beautiful wife.

I step closer and press small kisses on her neck and she moans lifting her head so I get better access to her, I hesitantly remove my hands from my crutches and place them on her shoulders, then they move down her shoulders and towards the buttons on her shirt, I undo them one by one and gently ease the shirt off and down her arms, I undo the skirt she is wearing and pull it so it drops down and pools at her feet, and I press my hand against her stomach and caress her bump lovingly.

Ana's hands move to my hair and I hear her moan as my hands continue to explore, I am so hard now it hurts, but I ignore my discomfort and continue to try to seduce my wife, which is hard when I am also relying on my crutches most of the time to stay upright. I struggle as I try to pull down Ana's panties and she helps me and then steps out of them, she is now totally naked waiting for me, my eyes greedily takes in every inch of her and I nod towards the bed.

"Lie down baby" I whisper and as she turns I grasp my crutches once more and follow her to the bed.

"I think you are wearing too many clothes" she says to me and she stands up once more and reaches for my T shirt, I hold myself still as she peels it off and then reaches for the button on my jeans. I watch as she deftly unfastens them and pushes them down, I draw in a sharp breath as her hand brushes against my painfully hard dick she notices and touches it, I gasp I want her now.

"I want you" she whispers and her hands move over my back pulling me towards her, urging me closer, at one time I would never have tolerated this, but she has changed me, I love and crave her touch.

I know she wants me she is desperate for me, she breathing is fast and shallow but I intend to prolong this.

"Lie down on the bed baby" I say and she nods and does as I ask, I let go of my crutches and follow her down on to the bed.

I lie down beside her and move down her body pressing kisses on her stomach as I go, I reach the tiny bump and press a gentle kiss to it, and my breath catches as I do so. I move my hands over her body and I touch her, as reach between her legs she obediently parts them so I can get better access, and I push my fingers inside her, she arches her back and gasps, she is so ready for me. I have to use every ounce of self control I have not to just take her, fuck it, she wants me and I sure as hell want her.

I manoeuvre myself so I am between her legs whilst ensuring I am not lying my full weight on her, I grab myself and I position myself at her entrance and in one swift movement I am inside her, I sigh I love the moment I enter her, the feel of her around me and as I start to move slowly, she meets me thrust for thrust, this is where I belong, we are made for each other. I silently vow that I will never risk losing this woman again, I will do whatever it takes to make sure I never make her feel that she would be happier for us to be apart.

I feel her building beneath me, her gentle moans are getting louder and she is gripping me, her breathing is getting more ragged, I can feel my orgasm building too, I am in danger of chasing my release but we are so in tune with each other my release depends on hers and vice versa.

"Come for me Ana, give it to me" I breathe harshly into her ear and obediently I feel her tighten and quiver around me and she grips me tightly.

"CHRISTIAN" she calls out my name as she comes and that does it for me, I am exploding violently inside her, I stiffen at that moment and holding myself deep inside her, I call out, my eyes closed tight and my head is thrown back.

"FUCK, GOD DAMN IT ANA" I call.

I roll us and I pull her into my arms as I don't want there to be any distance between us, she clings to me moaning as she lies on top of me, our legs are tangled around each other and I'm still buried deep inside her.

"I love you" I whisper to her and she responds squeezing me tightly.

"I love you too Christian, so, so much" she whispers.

Those words soak into me and I know I will never again do anything to threaten what we have.

**oooOOOooo**

**(ANA)**

"Are you ready Ana?" I hear Christian calling me.

I walk confidently into the great room and smile at my husband who is standing there looking his usual gorgeous self. He has one hand shoved in the pockets of his suit trousers and the other is gripping one of his crutches as he is waiting patiently for me. Jason and Luke are hovering and they both nod at me as I walk in, pushing my phone into my purse.

"Ready?" he asks, reaching for his other crutch as I walk towards him, I nod and press a kiss to his cheek.

"As I'll ever be," I reply.

Today is the first day of the trial and I am quite nervous yet eager to get going and get things done and over with. I want this awful period of our lives finished and dealt with.

Christian nods at me and I wrap my arm around him as we make our way slowly out to the car. I watch as my husband grips his crutches as he walks. He has made astonishing progress and I know he has surprised all the doctors with just how well he has done, but I know Christian, and so I also know that it is all due to his stubborn single minded determination to get back on his feet. He now limps slightly as he walks and he gets tired really quickly so it takes us longer to walk anywhere, as he walks slower to pace himself for any distances he has to face, which is all a legacy from the Charlie Tango crash which is going to be dissected over the next few days but the fact that things could have been far worse, give me reason to be happy despite these inconveniences Christian now suffers and we hope eventually he will manage to walk unaided without his crutches, that is the ultimate goal.

As we climb into the Audi I take a hard look at Christian, he is showing the world his usual impassive expression not giving a clue as to how he is feeling inside, but the fact he is now gripping my hand overly tightly, tells me he is worried.

"What's wrong Christian?" I ask him gently.

He turns and looks at me, "Nothing I'm fine" he replies lightly.

I shake my head, "Christian, this is me you are talking to, I know you better than anyone else, you may have that blank mask of indifference on your face but something is worrying you, you are hanging on to me as if your life depends on it, now talk to me," I stop and wait.

I watch as his shoulders slump and he sighs, "I can't hide anything from you can I?" he says and smiles wryly at me.

I shake my head, "No you can't, now come on Grey spill," I say.

He sighs and he pinches the top of his nose between his eyes, "I'm fucking terrified Ana", he admits.

He turns his head towards me I see the fear in his eyes.

"I am going to be in the same room, not only with the men who have caused you such pain, but with the man who terrorised me as a child, and considering how I've reacted previously when I have seen him I'm scared how I will handle it," he stops and I lean towards him and wrap my arms around him.

"Christian, you will be absolutely fine, because he can't hurt you anymore" I say encouragingly.

I had actually thought about this fact myself, that day in his office when he first saw Garratt will be imprinted in my memory forever, which is why I have arranged for John Flynn to be waiting for us when we get to the court.

"Your family and friends are all going to be there to support you and John Flynn has cleared his schedule and will be there for you throughout the trial, and when I am not giving evidence, I will be right beside you too," I say.

Christian nods "You have thought of everything as usual" he says.

I shrug, "well, one of us has to," I say sarcastically.

Christian finally smiles genuinely, and he pulls me close, "God I love you so much" he whispers.

**oooOOOooo**

When we arrive at the courthouse, we are met by the prosecution team who brief us on the way they are going to call this.

"Right then, we are going to get the security detail to give their evidence first get the specifics out the way, show the footage we have and get everything out there and laid out, showing all the facts then we will have Mr Cross give his evidence, then you come in and tell your side Mr Grey, what you went through and what happened, and finally Mrs Grey you will take the stand and tell your recollections of that time and hopefully that will be the proverbial icing on the cake, the facts of the matter complete with the human impact of what happened – the defence have tried numerous times for a plea bargain, because they know they don't stand a chance," the young lawyer tells us confidently.

"Absolutely not," Christian says emphatically, The lawyer's face drops and I stare at him incredulously.

"Christian?" I ask.

He turns to me, "Ana I won't have you sitting through everything, listening to and reliving everything that happened before you take the stand, and I won't put you through that sort of stress". he stops and waves his hand emphatically to emphasise his point.

I close my eyes, here we go, I was expecting some sort of over protective meltdown despite Christian's promises that he wouldn't do this anymore.

I open my eyes and sigh, "Christian, look at me and listen to me," I say patiently, and as the lawyer stares at my husband in shock at his refusal to co-operate, Christian turns towards me.

"Please Christian don't do this, I will be fine, this is the best way to do things, he knows what he is doing so don't fight this, just listen to him" I say.

Christian stares at me and I know he is trying to control his himself. I wrap my arms around him and whisper a single word in his ear.

"Yellow" I whisper.

After we had talked things through we had agreed to use a safe word system for when I think Christian is letting his insecurities get the better of him, it's a terminology he understands and responds to. We agreed upon 'yellow' for when he is starting to lose it and let things get out of control and 'red' for when he needs to back down and shut the hell up.

He grips me tightly and I feel him take a deep breath, he buries his nose in my hair in inhales deeply.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok with this?" he asks eventually.

"Yes Christian, I will be fine" I say reassuringly.

He pulls away from me and turns to the lawyer, "Ok we'll do it your way, but if my wife gets distressed in any way at all, we stop and we change it," he says.

The lawyer nods, clearly relieved that he has Christian on board. He discusses a few more things and I look around and I see Raul, talking with Jez, Jason, Luke and several other members of the security team who are all going to give evidence, they are all dressed smartly and looking confident. As I look around the door opens and I gasp in shock at the person entering the room, Christian hears me and immediately turns to me and speaks.

"What is it baby, what's wrong?" he asks me anxiously.

I nod towards the door "Over there, look," I say.

Christian follows my gaze and I feel him stiffen as he sees Welch. I let go of Christian's hand and walk over to Geoff Welch, as I need to speak to him.

"Mrs Grey" he says politely, he offers me his hand I stare at him for a moment and then accept his outstretched hand.

"Welch" I say stiffly.

"I am a witness for the prosecution, I couldn't in all good conscience not come and speak in person even though I provided a statement," he explains.

I snort derisively, "It's a shame your conscience wasn't so influential, when you allowed those men access to Charlie Tango, and when you spectacularly failed to do the job my husband paid you to do," I say derisively.

I pause because the room has gone deathly quiet and everyone is staring in our direction and have heard everything I have said, I flush as I realise I was a bit louder than I had anticipated, I don't say anything more because I know if I do I will probably say something I will regret. I feel Christian behind me and he touches my arm.

"Come on baby" he whispers to me.

As I turn I see Gideon has joined us and is talking to the security team. I walk over to him and slip my arm around his waist, he turns and hugs me and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Hi Gideon" I say quietly.

"Hi, ready to do this thing?" he says with a smile.

I nod, "I am," I say confidently, "Where's Eva?" I ask looking around.

"She is already in the courtroom with Ray, Kate, Elliot, and Carrick," he says nodding towards the door. "I think Gail is here as well," he adds.

I smile and turn to Christian.

"You see? All the people who have come to support you? Just remember that when you feel unsure," I say quietly to him.

He smiles shyly at me and then nods in agreement.

A few moments later and we are told to go into the court room. As we walk through the doors I see all our family and friends sitting waiting quietly, I see John Flynn seated directly behind the chair where Christian will be sitting. As Christian sits down and fumbles with his crutches, John leans forward and pats his shoulder encouragingly.

I take my place beside Christian and I grasp his hand, he looks at me and smiles at me, but I see it is forced as it doesn't reach his eyes and they are filled with fear, but I return the smile and then glance around the court room on the opposite side I see Jose, Jack and Tony Garrett all sitting side by side with their defence team. I am forcibly reminded of Stephen Morton and Elena a few months ago and I shiver.

Christian's arm immediately goes around me, "Are you cold baby?" he asks anxiously.

I shake my head, "I'm fine" I reply.

I look up at him once more and I see all his emotions hidden as the impenetrable CEO mask fall into place.

The proceedings start with the opening speech from the Prosecution and before we know it the security team have all been questioned and their evidence has been shown and logged, the defence offered a half hearted cross examination of the evidence, but it was a complete waste of time as the highly trained security force, most of whom are ex military handled the questioning without batting an eyelid and made the defence look a little silly at times, plus the CCTV footage and written evidence all spoke for itself.

By the time a recess was called the only other person related to security to be questioned was Welch. We all trooped into a side room where refreshments and food were waiting for us. I wonder who had organised this, but then I spot Gail organising the catering team and I immediately have my answer.

All too soon we are back in the court room and the next person to be called is Welch. I feel Christian stiffen significantly as he watches him take the stand. I know this still hurts Christian, the betrayal of the man he trusted to keep him safe, wounded him deeply. I glance over to the three defendants and I see Tony Garrett glaring at Welch and I smile, it appears he also feels betrayed by Welch's actions.

Welch is sworn in and the prosecution begins their questioning.

"Mr Welch can you tell the court your job description of your last employment?"

Welch looks up and speaks clearly and confidently. "My name is Geoff Welch and I was Chief Security Advisor for Grey Enterprise Holdings, I reported directly to Mr Christian Grey, it was my responsibility to ensure the safety of Mr Grey and his family. I was also responsible for the security surrounding Mr Grey's properties and assets," he stops and glances at Christian sadly.

"Can you tell me why that employment ceased?" the lawyer asks.

Welch nods, "I was fired by Mrs Grey after she felt I had failed in my duty to be aware that Mr Grey had been involved in an incident where his helicopter had crashed, and I had failed to keep her and Mrs Taylor – the wife of Jason Taylor who was travelling with Mr Grey at the time, informed of events as they unfolded".

"Mr Welch was it an oversight on your part or were you being deliberately evasive when it came to informing Mrs Grey?" the lawyer asks.

Welch lowers his eyes and he looks genuinely remorseful, "I was being deliberately evasive, I was fully aware that Mr Grey and Mr Taylor had been involved in an accident, I knew that Charlie Tango – that was Mr Grey's helicopter, had crashed, I knew it had been sabotaged, and I knew who had sabotaged it, I knew all this because I had arranged it so that the helicopter was left unguarded and the perpetrators were able to gain access to it to tamper with it".

He stops speaking and you can hear a pin drop in the court room, the lawyer speaks again asking him another question.

"Who was it who gained access to the helicopter Mr Welch and do you see them in this courtroom?"

Welch nods, "Yes" he says, and points to Tony Garrett.

"The man in question is Tony Garrett, he asked me to do it," he says.

"Mr Welch, can you explain to the court why you would betray your employer in such a way?" the lawyer asks.

Welch nods, "Tony Garrett is my half brother, it's all a mess, a huge mess. It goes right back to when Mr Grey was a child in Detroit, I was one of the officers who arrived at the apartment Mr Grey shared with his biological mother when he was taken into the care of Child Services. My brother also knew Mr Grey and his mother, he was Mr Grey's mothers drug dealer, he gave her the crack cocaine she was addicted to, and made money off her by pimping her out for sexual favours. He was responsible for everything that was bad in Mr Grey's life when he was a child, before he was adopted. When Mr Grey's mother died of an overdose, he believed she owed him for the drugs he had given her" he pauses and licks his lips.

"Years passed and I gained employment with Mr Grey and I didn't even realise at first he was the small boy I had helped rescue from the apartment all those years previously. My brother got in touch with me, it appeared he had been following Mr Grey and he believed that now Mr Grey was a wealthy and successful man he owed him for the debt his mother had left and he believed he was entitled to Mr Grey's money. I went along with my brothers plans, I didn't have any choice as he was blackmailing me over an incident which had occurred back in Detroit where I had shot an unarmed boy, it had been his eye witness testimony that had got me out of trouble and he was using that as leverage over me" he pauses again and takes a drink of water.

"For the record, I had no idea that he would take things so far, and when he got involved with Jack Hyde and Jose Rodriguez and it became apparent how far he had gone, I wanted nothing more to do with his warped plan. By that point I had been relieved of my position within GEH by Mrs Grey and my brother approached me to help him get access to Mrs Grey. He had decided that he would attempt to kidnap Mrs Grey and hold her to ransom. I refused to help him and informed Mrs Grey of the potential threat he posed and of his plan. I deeply regret everything I was involved in and wish to put on record my sincere unreserved apology for my part in this entire sequence of events".

Welch stops and looks over towards me and to Christian. I look up and Christian is staring resolutely ahead no emotion showing on his face whatsoever, the way he is controlling himself and the way he is totally motionless is really quite eerie. It's like he has retreated to somewhere in his mind, but his grip on my hand and the fact I sense the tension rolling off him, tells me he is in turmoil inside and is doing everything he can to prevent his true emotions from showing.

"Thank you Mr Welch, can you explain the role Mr Hyde and Mr Rodriguez played in this situation?" the lawyer asks.

"I can, Mr Hyde, knows Mr Grey from way back as well. When Mr Grey was in the Child Services system, he was in foster care in Detroit for a short time before he was adopted by the Grey family, this was the period where the Grey's had made it clear they wanted to adopt him, and Child Services were trying to discover if Mr Grey had any living biological family, who would be willing to claim him. The foster parents Mr Grey was placed with were also taking care of a young boy who had been removed from his mother, due to her issues and that boy was Jack Hyde. It appeared from what we learned about him, he held an irrational grudge against Mr Grey due to the fact that, he believed the Grey's had over looked him in favour of Mr Grey when they were adopting, but what he failed to realise is, he was never actually up for adoption as his mother was working towards getting her life back on track and regaining custody of him. Later on in a twist of fate, Mrs Grey, who was then Miss Steele, became an employee of Mr Hyde at Seattle Independent Publishers and he became obsessed with her and she refused his unwanted sexual advances to the point of getting him fired for sexually assaulting her. He later discovered that Mr Grey was interested in her and she was interested in him and this rekindled his irrational grudge against Mr Grey which intensified after Mr Hyde discovered that Mr Grey had bought SIP. The way he saw it was, Mr Grey had stopped him getting a new home and family as a child and as an adult he had returned and taken away his job and the woman he was interested in.

"Objection, the witness is surmising how Mr Hyde felt about Mr Grey" the defence lawyer states.

Before the judge can speak, Welch turns and responds, "No I'm not, he told me that himself".

"Overruled" the judge says and the defence lawyer sits down again.

"What about Mr Rodriguez" the lawyer prompts.

Welch shakes his head and sigh's, "Mr Rodriguez was an old friend of Mrs Grey - then Miss Steele, and it appears that he wanted the relationship to progress and become more than just friends, which was not reciprocated. When Miss Steele married Mr Grey, Mr Rodriguez appeared to take the news quite badly, he made contact with Mr Hyde and they fuelled each others grudges and obsessions. Mr Rodriguez was simply drawn into the plans when Mr Hyde came into contact with my brother". Welch stops speaking.

"Thank you Mr Welch no further questions" the lawyer says, the defence lawyer stands up and stares at Welch.

"Mr Welch isn't it in fact true that you were the mastermind behind this entire plan and you seconded your half brother to help you?" he asks.

Welch shakes his head, "No, it is not and I can prove that – I recorded all my conversations with my brother where he blackmailed me into doing his bidding and where he tried to coerce me into getting involved with his kidnap plan, and I have given those recordings to the prosecution team".

We watch as the defence lawyer looks dumb struck for a moment, this has clearly came as a shock to him and it appears to have blown his defence case to pieces. We have shown all the CCTV evidence and messages which made our case compelling, but we were unable to use the covert footage we had gained of Welch talking with his brother, but it appears Welch was one step ahead on that and recorded the conversations himself and I didn't realise that they had been put forward as evidence. The defence lawyer looks frantically through his papers and blanches as he obviously sees evidence corroborating what Welch has just said.

He stares at the papers in front of him then looks up, "No further questions" he says.


	54. Chapter 54

CHAPTER 54

"No further questions," the defence lawyer states and sits down.

The judge looks around the room, and declares that this is a good point to leave proceedings for the day and he calls an adjournment until tomorrow. The courtroom is cleared and we all retire to our side room to confer with the lawyers. The fact they are all smiling widely says to me that this is going well.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, how are you?" the chief prosecutor says as he walks up to us his hand outstretched.

Christian accepts his handshake and nods at him.

"I think things went as well as could be expected" Christian says politely.

The lawyer beams at him, "Mr Grey, today exceeded expectations by a mile, the defence have no case. Tomorrow we have Mr Cross giving evidence of what happened; we have Mr Taylor's testimony of the crash and then you sir. Today was about getting the facts out there, about what they did, tomorrow we go for the human angle the consequences of their actions. Hopefully if things go well we will get Mrs Grey on the stand as well tomorrow. If not, she will be the final witness on day three before we give our closing statement. Then it will be the defence's turn, but as things stand at the moment I am expecting the defence to try and go for a plea bargain again, as they know they don't have a hope in hell".

I feel Christian grip me a little tighter as the lawyer says these things, and I know Christian is worried about me going on the stand, but I want this, I want them to know what their actions did.

"I can't wait" I say with a confident smile.

The lawyer turns and looks at me and returns my smile. I glance at Christian who still looks worried so I carefully place my hand on his chest directly over his heart.

"I need to do this; I need to tell the court what happened. I need to do it" I say firmly and I look directly into Christian's eyes as I say it.

I see him nod slowly, understanding the silent message I am sending him.

As we are talking our friends and family join us, Grace has arrived and she walks up to me and hugs me tightly.

"Ana darling how are you?" she asks, "I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner, I tried to get but we had an emergency at the hospital".

"Hi Grace, I'm fine and thank you for coming" I say as I return her hug.

Kate and Eva walk over and I am hugged again, and I watch as Eva turns and hugs Christian who is talking to Gideon and Carrick and whispers something in his ear. He smiles and nods at her and then looks at me.

The room eventually starts to clear. Kate and Elliott are the first ones to leave and they promise us they will be back tomorrow. Grace and Carrick leave when the lawyers go as Carrick has been in deep conversation with them, discussing the trial. I walk over to Gail and hug her tightly and thank her for organising the refreshments and food, but she waves it off and makes light of it.

"Jason is giving evidence tomorrow," I say quietly to her.

She nods, "I know, I'm not looking forward to hearing what he and Mr Grey went through that day," she says soberly.

Just at that moment Jason walks over, "Gail, Mr Grey has said we can head off if we want to, and to take the rest of the day off".

Gail smiles and she gives me another quick hug and I watch as they leave hand in hand. Eva and Gideon say goodbye soon after and eventually it's just myself, Christian and John Flynn left. John is in deep conversation with Christian, he has his hand on his shoulder and Christian is nodding. I have kept a discreet distance away to give them privacy and I decide to go and find Luke. I open the door and look outside and I find Luke is sitting waiting outside with Ryan and they immediately stand when they see me.

"Are you ready to leave Mrs Grey?" Luke asks politely.

I shake my head, "No not yet, Christian is talking with John at the moment. I'm thirsty though, is there anywhere we can go for a drink?" I ask.

Luke nods and offers to get me something. As I am about to open my mouth to answer, I feel a strong arm around my waist.

"Are you ready to go baby?" Christian says, I turn and smile at him.

"I am, but I'm really thirsty and I was asking Luke is he knows of anywhere we could go for a drink" I say.

Christian nods, "Why don't we just head back to Escala and have a drink there, I need to talk to you," he says.

"OK" I reply and we head off.

We arrive at Escala and as we enter the great room I kick my shoes off and throw my purse on the sofa.

"What did you want to talk about Christian?" I ask as I pour myself a glass of water.

Christian sits down on the sofa and pats the seat next to him. I walk over and join him and he immediately reaches for my hand and raises it his mouth and kisses my knuckles.

"I wanted to thank you for having the foresight to arrange for John Flynn to be at the court. It really helped, I felt myself getting more and more agitated today when I saw Garrett sitting there, and having John to talk to and process things with, when the day ended helped a lot".

I smile, "You are more than welcome, I would do anything and everything within my power to make you feel better you know that don't you?" I say.

I think for a moment then ask him something which I was wondering about, "what did Eva say to you today?" I ask as I recall the interaction.

Christian smiles, "she just said I did well today," he says, "I suppose, she was referring to the fact I didn't have a full on meltdown in the court room when I saw Garrett".

**oooOOOooo**

The next day we enter the court room ready to face the day's proceedings. We take our places and our family and friends are once again seated behind us. Gideon is the first up this morning when things begin. I glance around at Eva and smile as Gideon strides purposefully to the witness stand to face questioning. I grip Christian's hand tightly. Today he will hear what it was like for us when he went missing, and my guess is his reaction won't be a positive one.

The lawyer stands and gets ready to question Gideon and I take a good look at my friend as he stands there, his public mask firmly in place waiting to speak.

"Mr Cross, can you tell us in your own words the events of the day in question?"

Gideon nods and looks across at me and his impassive mask slips a little as he smiles at me.

"Mrs Grey was in New York with me at the time, along with Luke Sawyer her Close Protection Officer and during a meeting we were having, it became apparent that we needed to speak to Jason Taylor regarding an issue which had brought to our attention. Mr Sawyer and Mrs Grey tried repeatedly to contact Mr Taylor but were unable to do so. Both he and Mrs Grey found this highly unusual, however they were not overly concerned to begin with as Mr Taylor was accompanying Mr Grey to Portland in Charlie Tango – Mr Grey's helicopter and if they were in the air they would be out of contact as Mr Grey insists on all cell phones being switched off during flights. However, Mrs Grey became anxious when time elapsed and they were still unable to make contact with Mr Taylor and so Geoff Welch was contacted to discover if Mr Grey had arrived in Portland as expected. Mr Welch returned with the news that Mr Grey had never arrived at his destination, and that the helicopter was missing. As you can imagine, Mrs Grey immediately wanted to return to Seattle upon hearing this, and she became quite distressed".

I feel Christian grip my hand a little tighter as he listens to this.

"I immediately took charge of the situation, and liaising with Mr Sawyer and Raul Huerta who is one of my Senior Security Operatives I arranged a large team of my security detail to fly out to Seattle ahead of us, to help organise a search party and introduce themselves and liaise with Geoff Welch and his security team. I accompanied Mrs Grey to Seattle, while we are on route, Mr Sawyer and Mr Huerta and spent the flight co-ordinating a search for the helicopter, via email and cell phone. We arrived back in Seattle quite late – I am not certain of the exact time but I think it was around midnight or just after, and we went to Mrs Grey's home and set up a command post there, in Mr and Mrs Grey's home security office, and I was in constant communication with my team who were searching for the missing helicopter. It became apparent from conversations Mrs Grey had with Welch and experiences my team were having with him on the ground, that Welch was being evasive and was hindering the search. It was during this time Mr Ryan and Mr Fisher, two off duty security team members of Mr Grey's team, arrived and offered to help. Mrs Grey received a telephone call from Jose Rodriguez who started making strange comments which made her suspicious, the call was taped by the security team and Mr Rodriguez made comments regarding Mr Grey which suggested he knew about the disappearance of the helicopter".

I glance over to Jose as I remember that call, but he is sitting with his head down, not looking at anyone.

I'm not 100 per cent sure what was said between Mr Rodriguez and Mrs Grey, as I was in and out at the time, I was on my phone liaising with the rescue team, but I heard parts of the taped conversation later. Mrs Grey's team managed to enhance the call and it was established that Mr Hyde and Mr Garrett were also there when Mr Rodriguez placed the call as they were heard making comments in the background, and I believe they both mentioned Mr Grey by name. The comments Mr Rodriguez made, and from the location of the call, which he made to Mrs Grey made Mr Sawyer suspicious and he sent Mr Ryan and Mr Fisher to check out the hangar at Boeing Field where Charlie Tango was kept. They subsequently found the compelling evidence which was shown yesterday of the breach of security at the hangar. It was shortly after Mrs Grey's conversation with Mr Rodriguez that I got notification from the search team that Mr Grey and Mr Taylor had been found. It was just a text at that point telling me that they had been found and that they were alive. Mrs Grey hadn't heard anything from Geoff Welch and she called him, she was angry that she had to find out that her husband was safe, from someone other than the man whose job it was to ensure the safety of Mr Grey and she relieved him of his position at this point, due to what she saw as his incompetence in handling the situation".

I smile, as I vividly remember my moment when I told Welch he was fired.

"I arranged transportation for Mrs Grey and Mrs Taylor to go to Portland hospital, where Mr Grey and Mr Taylor had been taken and when we arrived I went with Stephan, Mr Grey's pilot, to join the salvage team in retrieving and securing Charlie Tango".

Gideon stops speaking and takes a drink of water, as he was talking I remembered all of what he was saying, the memories of that night etched into my brain. My attention is drawn back to Gideon as he starts speaking again, and I listen carefully interested to hear what happened after he left me at the hospital, as after that I didn't see him again until the next morning.

"Stephan and I flew to the crash site in my helicopter, and the salvage team briefed me on their findings and that they had suspicions that Charlie Tango had been sabotaged. I helped co-ordinate the salvage team and organised another team to fly out from New York to help, when I received a call from my security officer Raul Huerta who had gone to Welch's office at GEH to secure it after Mrs Grey had fired him, in case Mr Welch decided to try and access it. He informed me that he had found some interesting things regarding Mr Welch, and he requested I return to Seattle to discuss it with him. So, I left the crash site and flew back to Seattle, where I was briefed by Mr Huerta on his discoveries, and I took the decision there and then to put Mr Huerta in temporary charge of GEH security and we worked through the remainder of the night gathering the entire GEH security team and informing them of the change of leadership, and with the help of members of Mr Grey's team we secured all aspects of GEH security to prevent Mr Welch from gaining access, and implementing changes to improve security. I liaised with Mr Sawyer, and he informed me that he was at the Heathman Hotel with Mrs Grey, and that my man Jez Hamilton was at the hospital, supervising security there. When we had completed the procedures, I arranged to drive back to Portland to support Mrs Grey and I slept in the car for most of the journey. When I arrived, I met up with Mrs Grey and Mr Huerta had arranged for the entire GEH security team to be at a meeting at the Heathman hotel with Mrs Grey, where they informed her of their suspicions and concerns about Mr Welch. We briefed Mrs Grey on the developments and the information we had uncovered about Mr Welch and I then I accompanied Mrs Grey to the hospital to see Mr Grey".

The lawyer stands up, "Thank you Mr Cross for that detailed recollection of the events of that time, no further questions".

The defence lawyer stands up and looks at Gideon, "Mr Cross what exactly was the evidence you and your security team uncovered on Mr Welch?" he asks mildly.

Gideon stares at the lawyer with an icy expression, "The details of the information uncovered are part of public record now, and were fully disclosed to the court yesterday by the security team when they were questioned, they prove the link between Mr Welch and Tony Garrett and the reasons behind Mr Welch's poor decision to allow himself to be blackmailed by Mr Garrett, and leave Mr Grey's security vulnerable to attack," he stops speaking and glares at the lawyer, who swallows hard.

"Thank you Mr Cross no further questions" he says and sits down.

I wonder if this man is a proper lawyer, as he doesn't seem to have the first idea, either that or he knows the situation is hopeless and he is just making a show of looking as though he is doing something.

The next person up is Jason, as he is called I release Christian's hand and move to sit in the seat vacated by Jason, Christian turns and smiles apologetically at Gail. This is going to be hard for her and she needs support, as much as Christian to get through this.

Jason stands waiting for the lawyer to speak, he looks every inch the military man he once was. I wonder what he did when he was in the military, I've seen him in deep conversation with Ray at times, and I recall Welch's comments that were recorded saying he was a bona fide hero.

"Mr Taylor, can you tell the court in your own words the events of that day as you recall them". Our lawyer says to Jason calmly.

Jason nods and begins to speak.

"My name is Jason Taylor and I am the Chief Close Protection Officer for the Grey family, my primary assignment is Mr Grey, and I accompany him wherever he needs to go. My position was such that I made decisions regarding security, and liaised with Geoff Welch to get them implemented. I take my orders directly from Mr Grey and no-one else".

He pauses before for continuing, letting that point settle over the jury, he takes a sip of water at the side of him.

"On the day in question at 0900 hours, Mr Grey and I left Grey House in Seattle for Boeing Field to fly to Portland in Mr Grey's personal helicopter known as Charlie Tango. We left Boeing Field at approx 1015 hours and our estimated time of arrival in Portland was 1130 hours. As we were leaving Mr Grey received a message from Andrea – his personal assistant, to inform him that the University had called requesting to put back the meeting by one hour. Mr Grey asked me if I would like to see Mount St Helens as we had time to spare, as he had been made aware that the no flight zone had been lifted and I agreed, as I had never actually seen that particular landmark from the air before. The flight was light hearted and enjoyable. I commented to Mr Grey that it was a real privilege to see Mount St Helens and I thanked him for giving me that opportunity, then we made our way to Portland".

He stops and takes another drink and his face clouds this is it, this is the part neither Gail nor I want to really hear, I reach for Gail's hand and she looks at me knowing what is coming next.

"As we were flying in the vicinity of Silver Lake, all hell broke loose. Alarms started to go off and lights started flashing in the cockpit and it became clear very quickly that something was terminally wrong with the helicopter. I looked at Mr Grey and he said to me that I needed to brace myself for a crash landing, he was calm and collected and at no point did I lose confidence that he would get us down somehow".

Jason looks across at Christian as he says this and I see Christian nod, I lean forward and touch his shoulder and he reaches back and grasps my hand tightly for a moment.

"The helicopter was rapidly losing height and I don't know about Mr Grey, but I was absolutely terrified at that point, but I held it together so not to distract Mr Grey and I recall he spotted a clearing and he tried to guide the helicopter towards it, by this point we had lost all power and were rapidly plummeting to the ground. I heard Mr Grey mutter something about Mrs Grey and I closed my eyes and put myself in the crash position and braced myself for the impact. That is the last thing I remember, as the next thing I knew I was waking up in the ICU at Portland Hospital with my wife by my side".

Gail is silently crying and so am I, we are clinging to each other and Christian turns to look at us, regret and turmoil in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers to Gail, but Gail smiles at him and shakes her head.

"You have nothing to apologise for sir," she says politely.

The defence lawyer is staring at Jason clearly at a loss for something to say, he knows this is over it is obvious he wasn't expecting the personal nature of the testimony, but he pulls himself together to ask a question.

"Mr Taylor, before the helicopter left Boeing Field, were all the safety checks completed?" he asks.

Jason stares at the man with utter distain.

"Mr Grey is fanatical about safety, it is his primary concern in everything he does, so yes – the standard procedural safety checks were completed before he arrived, but he re-did them as he always does, but he wasn't expecting to have to check that the engines were in tact and not tampered with as that isn't part of any procedural standard check," he says sarcastically.

The lawyer looks suitably uncomfortable at these words. "No further questions" he says quietly.

Jason steps down from the stand and returns and as I stand to let him retake his seat, I hug him tightly and he looks surprised, but returns my hug stiffly. I go back and sit down next to Christian who is ramrod stiff. I know Jason's testimony has upset him and I whisper to our lawyer to request a break so Christian can gather himself before taking the stand. Our lawyer glances at Christian and nods.

He stands and the judge accepts our request for a recess, as we are leaving the courtroom I look at John Flynn meaningfully and he nods discreetly at me. When we reach the side room we have been occupying, there is once again food laid on for us. I go and fill a plate of food for myself and Christian and pour Christian a drink and then I take them over to him, he is in deep conversation with John, but he turns and smiles at me as he takes the plate from me.

"Thanks baby," he says quietly.

I rub his arm reassuringly and leave him to his conversation with John and I walk over to Gideon and he wraps his arm around me and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Gideon, I just want to thank you again for everything you did that day, I was sort of preoccupied with finding Christian, and I had no idea of the lengths you went to for us," I say as I look up at him.

His blue eyes soften and he smiles at me, "Ana, you don't have to thank me for anything, it was nothing, I was in a position to help and I did, do you seriously think I'd let you go through what you did alone when I had the resources to make things easier?" He says dismissively.

I shake my head, "I don't mean that, you worked through the night, you were there on the ground co-ordinating everything, when you could quite easily have been at home in New York sleeping" I say.

Gideon sighs, "Ana, I've explained this to you before, you and Christian are my family and I take care of my family," he says firmly with a tone of finality that says 'do not contradict me'.

I put down my plate and hug him tightly.

"Thank you" I whisper, his arms go around me and he returns the hug.

"You are welcome" he whispers.

I break away and go to Gail and Jason, I hug Jason again and turn to Gail, "how are you holding up?" I ask.

She smiles at me, "I'm fine Ana honestly, It wasn't pleasant listening to what happened, but Jason did what he had to do and I am so proud of him, and I don't blame Mr Grey for anything at all," she says, and she rests her head against Jason's shoulder.

Once again Welch's words come to mind, and before I can stop myself I am asking the question.

"Jason what did you do before working for Christian? Welch said you were a bona fide hero, and it seemed to be the fact that you had been hurt more than anything else which convinced him to pull out of his brother's plan," I say.

Jason goes red and looks uncomfortable, and the atmosphere is suddenly very oppressive around us, "I was in Special Forces Mrs Grey and as such I can't discuss what we did" he says flatly.

I nod "I'm sorry Jason, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that it was rude," I say quickly.

"Not at all Mrs Grey, you were interested, but I honestly can't tell you," he says, then he smiles "well I could, but then I would have to kill you and I don't think that would go down too well with Mr Grey, and I like my job" he adds flippantly.

I laugh and the atmosphere is light again.

We are all called back to the courtroom and I immediately look for Christian, he looks to be his normal self now, and I know that John has helped him through whatever issues he was having with what Jason had said.

"Ready?" I ask as I sidle up to him and slip my hand in his.

"I am" he says confidently.

He pauses and puts his hand on my shoulders.

"Baby, are you sure you will be ok with what I am going to say? It wasn't pretty and I'm not going to pull any punches, the lawyers want me to tell it as it was and as the events of that night rerun on a loop in my head I will have no problem recalling everything, but I don't want them in your head too" he says.

I step towards him and wrap my arms around his waist. "Christian stop worrying about me, I want to know. I need to know what you went through and I will be fine" I say quietly.

We go back into the courtroom and Christian pauses he presses a kiss to my lips and walking slowly and carefully he makes his way to the stand, while I sit down in my seat. Gail has come to sit beside me taking the seat Christian normally occupies to support me, like I did for her. This is going to be hard to listen to but I do need to hear what my husband went through that night.

I look around the court room and there is a sense of expectation in the room, Christian's testimony is the one everyone has been waiting for. The jury are fixed on him and I know that if Christian does this right we will be home and dry. I look at Christian who is leaning his crutches against the stand, and then he shuffles and grips the stand.

Our lawyer stands and faces Christian, "Mr Grey, first of all are you quite comfortable, do you need a seat, as you are still recovering from your injuries?"

Christian holds up his hand, "I'm fine" he says simply.

"Mr Grey, in your own words, can you describe the events of the day in question, for the court?" He asks.

Christian nods and takes a deep breath, his impassive mask is firmly in place and he begins to speak in his calm clear voice. I glance at John and he smiles and nods, this gives me confidence that Christian will get through this ok.

"My name is Christian Grey and on the day in question I was due to fly to Portland for a meeting at the University regarding a grant I was providing. My wife had left Seattle earlier that morning for New York and I was missing her".

He glances at me and his eyes soften slightly, he regains his composure and carries on.

"We – that is Jason Taylor and I, left Grey House for Boeing field. I undertook all the usual procedures, and as we were about to leave I received a text from Andrea, my PA that the people I was meeting with at the University had been in touch and asked to put back the meeting by one hour. I put to Taylor the idea of having a look at Mount St Helens, seeing as we had some time to kill. He seemed keen and I was eager to see it as well. The flight was going to plan, although I did feel something wasn't totally right with the helicopter, but I couldn't put my finger on what. She just didn't seem as responsive as normal. Anyway, we checked out Mount Saint Helens and then started to make our way to Portland it was when we were in the vicinity of Silver Lake all hell seemed to break loose, the cockpit was lighting up like a Christmas tree and I had alarms going off. It became apparent very quickly I had complete engine failure and that we were rapidly losing altitude. I won't lie, I was terrified. I had no idea if I was going to be able to land in one piece. I was flying low and all my instincts told me there was no way I was going to be able to bring her down safely, and so I called on all my experience as a pilot to try and get us down unharmed. I told Taylor to brace himself for a bumpy landing, but I didn't tell him that in reality I didn't think we were going to make it".

He stops and looks at me again, I am gripping Gail's hand and Christian searches my expression before continuing. He continues to look at me when he speaks again.

"All my thoughts were of my wife, I wanted to survive because of her and it gave me the strength to do what I had to do, to get us down safely," he pauses and returns his gaze to the lawyer.

"I decided the best thing to do and the only thing I could do was to try and treat my helicopter, the way I fly my glider and get her down that way, and the plan seemed to work as we approached the ground all my thoughts were of my wife and although she wasn't there I told her that I loved her and braced myself for the inevitable impact. We hit the ground hard and with the impact something broke which caused us both to be thrown clear. I heard Taylor moaning so I knew he was alive, but as I tried to stand and get to him to help him, I discovered I couldn't move my legs. I crawled towards him and I checked his pulse and discovered that he was alive but he appeared to be unconscious. I wasn't in any position to move him, so I took off my jacket and covered him with it to keep him warm, I took my phone and sent a SOS distress call and our location to Welch".

I gasp as he says this, and I turn to glare at Welch who puts his head down, unable to meet my gaze.

"I tried to move myself closer to Taylor so that we could conserve warmth and give us the best chance of survival and I waited as that is all I could do. I spent the hours waiting, talking to Taylor and reassuring him we would be found and everything would be ok, he didn't answer me but I kept checking him periodically and satisfied myself he was still alive. I occupied myself with thoughts of my wife to keep my morale up".

He pauses and takes a long drink of water, I notice his hand is shaking slightly and my heart is breaking for him having to relive this again. I can visualise him lying next to Taylor unable to move and just waiting, trying to stay positive and reassure himself that Taylor was alive. I realise that it must have brought back the terrible memories of when his mother lay dead on the floor in their apartment when he was a child and he lay beside her dead body for days until they were found.

Christian begins to speak again and I listen carefully.

"Eventually, a rescue team arrived, but I didn't recognise any of them. A man called Jez Hamilton introduced himself to me and he told me that he and the team had been sent by Gideon Cross and that he was in Seattle with my wife co-ordinating the rescue and salvage. I didn't question at the time why Gideon was in co-ordinating everything rather than Welch, I just assumed Ana had asked him to help, and he had taken charge. Taylor and I were airlifted to hospital and Hamilton assured me he would be joining me at the hospital as soon as he had co-ordinated the savage of Charlie Tango. We arrived at the hospital and Taylor was taken away and I was moved to a private room, they had put me in a brace so that I was unable to move and the enormity of what had happened began to hit me, I realised that there was a chance I'd be permanently paralysed and as much as I didn't want to think about it, so I started to make plans in my mind to divorce my wife as I couldn't in good conscience ask her to stay with me if I was going to be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life, she deserved better than that".

He looks across at me and I shake my head at him. He smiles slightly and carries on.

"But my wife had other ideas, she arrived at the hospital and told me in no uncertain terms that I was being stupid and that there was no way on earth she would allow me to even think such things, and from that moment on, she has been beside me and been my rock throughout the entire ordeal, and I couldn't have got through it without her. She gave me the will to get well and when it became apparent there was no permanent physical damage, it became my mission to get myself mobile again - for her, and I pushed myself to get back on my feet and she was at the forefront of my mind when I was going through the tough physio sessions".

I am looking at Christian as he says this and he is talking directly to me, he looks away suddenly.

"Ana told me the next day, of the information which had come to light about Welch and what Raul and his team had uncovered, and I won't lie I felt crushed that he had betrayed me, over the next few weeks, more and more came out and the extent of the sabotage became apparent, all of which has been shared with the court on the first day of this trial by my team and Gideon's team".

He stops. Oh that was good, he got in that fact, so that the defence had nowhere to go, he described the emotional and human side of the crash, but also added the facts for good measure reminding the jury again of the undeniable stack of evidence we have, and what they have already heard – my husband is one smart man.

"Thank you Mr Grey," our lawyer says he has a smug expression on his face as he hands over to the defence.

"No questions at this time," the defence says tightly.

Christian grabs his crutches and carefully steps down from the stand and slowly walks over to me, Gall stands and retakes her seat next to Jason and I can't help myself, I stand up and fling my arms around my husband. He responds to me by letting his crutches crash to the floor and holding me tightly for a moment, before we both remember where we are and I bend to retrieve his crutches and we sit down quietly.

Our lawyer stands up again and calls my name. I look at Christian and give him a reassuring smile before standing as I move away Christian keeps a grip on my hand until the last possible moment.

I walk confidently to the stand and wait to be spoken to. I am so ready for this, and I know I am perceived as the weak link, I won't have such an easy time with the defence as everyone else has because of my links with Jose and Jack and I am anticipating a rough ride.


	55. Chapter 55

CHAPTER 55

"Mrs Grey, if you could tell the court in your own words the events of that day as you recall them" our lawyer says kindly.

I nod and take a deep breath, "My name is Anastasia Grey and I am Christian Grey's wife, on the day in question I was in New York meeting with Gideon Cross helping with an issue with an author at Cross Publishing because at that point in time I was employed by Mr Cross as an editor at the Cross Publishing, Washington Office. When I arrived at the Crossfire building in New York I was met by a lady calling herself Deanna Johnson, she approached me as she wanted to talk to me about Jose Rodriguez".

I pause and look across at Jose who is sitting with his head down.

"Apparently, she was an ex girlfriend of Jose, and she had come to warn me about how unstable he is. She had a file of information on him as to what he is capable of. She had come up with links between Jose and Jack Hyde a former boss of mine who had sexually assaulted me before being fired from Seattle Independent Publishers where I worked at the time. It appeared that Jose and Jack had made contact and that there was a link between Jack and my husband going back to when they were both children in the Michigan State Child Protection Services foster system. There were also photographs in the file Deanna provided which showed Jack and Jose meeting with Tony Garrett. All the relevant details which Ms Johnson gave me have been supplied to the court and were shared on the first day".

I pause and let that hang there a moment, just like Christian and Gideon did, and giving the jury chance to process everything I have said.

"Anyway, it was during these revelations that Luke thought it prudent to include Jason as we both thought he should be in on the call to hear what Deanna had to say and he tried to call him it was at this point that we discovered that we were unable to make contact with Jason. We weren't too concerned at first, as we assumed that his phone was off due to the flight to Portland – Christian always insists that all cell phones are switched off when in the air for security reasons. So I called Welch and got him involved instead. By the end of the call with Welch we realised that Christian and Jason should really have arrived at Portland by that point and so I asked Welch to find out what had happened. He called me back a short time later to tell me that Charlie Tango was missing, and he didn't know what had happened to my husband. But after hearing Christian's testimony I believe that was lie as Christian had sent out an SOS to him and he had ignored it".

I pause as our lawyer stands up and speaks gently to me.

"If you could just concentrate on the events of the day Mrs Grey," he says.

I nod and mentally kick myself for my outburst, "I'm sorry" I say.

"No problem Mrs Grey, when you are ready please continue" he says.

"Where was I… oh yes, I got a call from Welch saying that Charlie Tango was missing and he didn't know what had happened to my husband".

I shoot Welch a filthy look as I say this, then continue.

"I told Gideon that I had to return to Seattle right away and he agreed, he was marvellous about everything," I look at Gideon and smile.

"He cancelled the meeting with the author and arranged everything for me to return, Raul – Gideon's security man was with us and they were constantly on the phone or on a laptop throughout the journey back and I can't thank Gideon enough for his support, or Raul. Before I left New York, I called Gail who is Jason Taylor's wife, and asked her if Welch had been in touch with her as I assumed he would, considering the fact her partner – as he was at that point, was also missing. However, she had no idea what was going on as Welch hadn't told her anything so I told her what I knew and then I called Welch again and tore him off a strip for not telling Gail what was going on. When we arrived in Seattle it was really late, and I went straight to Escala to see if Gail was ok and had heard anything from Welch. Shortly after I arrived, Christopher Ryan and James Fisher arrived as they had heard what was happening and although they were off duty came in to help. Raul and Gideon were liaising with the team that Gideon had sent ahead and trying to find out what the latest was. I realised I needed to call Grace and Carrick – that's Christian's parents, and tell them what was happening and shortly after that call I got a call from Jose, and I could hear Jack in the background. Luke Sawyer taped the call, which was played to the court on the first day and Jose said a number of weird things, asking me what I would do if Christian didn't come back which set alarm bells ringing and made me think he was involved in the crash. Luke sent Christopher Ryan and James Fisher to Boeing Field to pull the security footage and see if they could find out anything. I had just hung up from Jose, when word came through that Christian had been found and that he and Jason were both alive, but badly hurt and had been airlifted to hospital in Portland. Gideon arranged for me to fly to Portland hospital to be with Christian, and it was at that point it occurred to me that the one person who _should_ be contacting me and telling me Christian had been found hadn't done so. So I called Welch again and I lost my temper with him and fired him". I pause and give Welch another filthy look.

"He was rude to me and challenged my authority, but Luke Sawyer stepped in and basically told him that he was fired, he deserved it and to get over it. Gideon had called in Stephan – Christian's pilot who flew us to Portland, and then Gideon and Stephan left us to go and help with the salvage of Charlie Tango. Jez Hamilton arrived and introduced himself to me and Luke told me that Chris and James had found something on the security cameras at Boeing field, after that I was escorted up to see Christian and the doctor told me the extent of his injuries".

I stop and take a long drink of water I look up and meet Christian's eyes and he looks at me with concern. I smile reassuringly at him and continue.

"I told my husband that there was no way on earth I was going to leave him, no matter how injured he was, I told him I loved him and wasn't going anywhere, and eventually I got that fact through his thick skull" I look directly at Christian as I say this and I smirk at him and I see a small amused smile pull at his lips. Then I return my attention back to the lawyer.

"I spent some time with Christian and told him of everything that had happened and everything we knew up to that point. I remember that I touched his legs at some point and he told me that he could feel it, he could feel my touch even though he was unable to move his legs and a doctor came and ran some tests and we were told that based on that small amount of feeling he had the prognosis looked good. Christian asked me to go and find out how Jason was for him so I went up the ICU and found Jason. Gail was with him and he was in a coma, I spent some time with him while Gail went to see Christian. I went back down to Christian and he persuaded me that I needed to go and get some sleep as it was nearly 5am in the morning and I hadn't rested at all so I left the hospital and went to the Heathman hotel. We - that is Luke and I were accosted by the media as we left and I gave them a brief statement," I pause and take another small sip of the water next to me.

"The next day I was briefed by Raul, and he had arranged for all Christians security team to be present for a meeting they told me their concerns about how Welch had been running things or not as the case was. Raul also told me of what he had uncovered about Welch and the changes to the system that he and Gideon had implemented. Over the next few days more and more came out about what had been going on and it culminated in Tony Garrett trying to kidnap me from the hospital one night when I was leaving after visiting with Christian".

I stop and think, and then satisfied I have covered everything I look at the lawyer, "I think that's everything," I say quietly.

Our lawyer stands up, "Thank you Mrs Grey for that detailed account of what happened". I nod at him and brace myself as the defence lawyer gets to his feet.

"Mrs Grey can you tell me how you know the defendant Jack Hyde?" he asks.

I stare at him, "Yes I can, he was my boss. My first job out of college was as an intern at Seattle Independent Publishers, and part of that was being his assistant, he was a fiction editor at the company," I stop and wait for the next question I know what is coming.

"Tell me Mrs Grey isn't it true you had a relationship with Mr Hyde while in his employment?" the lawyer asks.

I shake my head, "No, it's not true. There was a publishing exhibition in New York and SIP had a stand there. Jack asked me to accompany him to New York for this – I had been warned of his reputation, and rumours about his previous conduct towards female members of staff, so I had forearmed myself with some self defence classes from my father, and I told my father where I was going. I also made sure I had a seat away from Jack on the plane and that my room at the hotel in New York was two floors below his. I did everything humanly possible to distance myself from Jack, but he still harassed me and tried to sexually assault me" I say.

"Yes this alleged assault can you explain to the court what actually happened?" the lawyer asks.

Our lawyer stands up "Objection irrelevant – this line of questioning isn't relevant to this case this is a separate incident which happened last year and was dealt with at the time".

"I am just trying to establish the history between the defendant and Mrs Grey" the lawyer says smugly.

The judge looks at him closely, "well make your point then, this line of questioning is going nowhere" he says harshly.

The defence lawyer nods. "Is it not true Mrs Grey that you were keeping Mr Hyde dangling while pursuing a relationship with both Mr Grey and Mr Cross at this time?" he asks.

Out the corner of my eye I see Christian try and struggle to his feet only to be dragged back down again by Carrick, John and Gideon. I shake my head and I feel my anger rising.

"No, Jack was my employer and he abused that position when he tried to sexually assault me, he tried to forcibly remove me from the restaurant and take me to a room at the hotel and he told me that he was and I quote 'going fuck me' and I was equally adamant that was not going to happen, so I defended myself accordingly and I caused quite a scene in the restaurant area of that hotel and struggled free. At that point I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. I had only just met Gideon Cross, very briefly, for the very first time the night before when I had literally walked into him as I was sight-seeing in New York, when he was leaving the Crossfire building. I did see him again that day though, because of the fact it was his hotel that the sexual attack took place in and he had been informed of the matter. He approached me because he wanted to help me, he knew my bosses boss - Jerry Roach, in Seattle, and informed him of the situation that had happened and he helped me deal with Jack. Christian and I... Christian and I were just friends at that point. We weren't in a relationship, although he was pursuing me pretty comprehensively".

I glance at Christian and smile at him.

"The details of the assault are all a matter of public record in New York" I add. I know I have omitted a few facts but I am happy that what I have said was the truth.

"If you could tell me the nature of your relationship with Jose Rodriguez now?" he says.

I sigh, "I thought Jose was a good friend, we met at university and I looked on him like a brother, I never had any romantic feelings towards him, and I thought he knew that our relationship was purely platonic," I say firmly.

"Come now Mrs Grey did you not notice that Mr Rodriguez held the notion of a romantic relationship with you?" he pushes.

"With hindsight yes, but we are all wiser with hindsight. I never felt about him that way, and never gave him any indication that I did. It appears he became obsessive as time went on, he and Jack were responsible for a car accident that my father was involved in when he was run off the road, and then recently, Jose started a relationship with my late mother and he admitted to me that if he couldn't have me, she was the next best thing. He stalked me and sent me disgusting gifts, and he sent me photographs which he had covertly taken. They were of me getting undressed in my apartment when I was at college. He was trying to get my attention and he generally behaved like a total creep," I say.

I watch as the colour drains from the lawyers face, it is clear he was unaware of all this and I hold my ground as I add, "and I can prove all I have just said, we have documentary evidence of everything," I say.

The lawyer pulls himself together and asks me the dumbest question of all, "and can you tell me your relationship with Mr Garrett?" he asks.

I give him an incredulous look before I let out an unladylike snort.

"That low life? Until a few months ago I was unaware he even existed, and I would have been happy to stay in that ignorance, but he is the man who tried to kidnap me to extort money from my husband and when I defended myself and was trying to get away from him, I shot him with his own gun in the leg so that is the extent of the relationship I have with him".

I watch the defence lawyer swallow hard but I continue un-fazed.

"Having said that, he is also the man who I despise with every fibre of my being. That is because he is also the man who tortured my husband when he was defenceless toddler. He was a pimp and drug dealer who had his claws into Christian's biological mother which has already been mentioned by Mr Welch in his testimony and when Christian the toddler got in his way he kicked him across rooms, punched him and stubbed lit cigarettes out on him".

I stop as the jury gasps at this and I realise what I have just done.

I turn to Christian who is staring at me, "Oh god, Christian I'm so sorry," I gasp.

He shakes his head, "No baby its fine" he answers quietly.

The defence lawyer looks at me like I have just hit him, "Do you have proof of these claims Mrs Grey?" he asks.

I feel the anger well up inside me once again and I let rip.

"Proof? He admitted it to his brother we have the recording of that conversation which I am sure our team would be willing play right now, but if you want real undeniable proof, my husband has the best proof of all on his body, he has 16 round cigarette burn scars on his back and chest, which that animal inflicted on him when he was a toddler, and he has his medical records, which describe in detail the horrific list of injuries he had when he was found with his dead mother, and when we first met I was unable to touch him as he suffered from severe Haphephobia as a result of that childhood trauma and abuse".

I stop and glare furiously at the defence lawyer who has the grace to look uncomfortable.

"No more questions Mrs Grey" he says quietly and he sits down shooting a filthy look at all three men beside him.

I feel sick I try and gauge Christian's mood and reaction to what I have just done, but he has that damned impassive mask in place and that makes me feel even worse.

I walk over to my seat and I collapse into Christian's arms, "I'm so sorry" I whisper again.

"Hush baby, its fine" he answers stiffly.

The sense of shock is still reverberating around the courtroom, Our lawyer quickly stands and capitalises on it, by giving his closing statement for the prosecution, when he has finished the judge adjourns, and states that the defence will present their case tomorrow.

We all move into the side room which we have been occupying since the trial started, I feel totally mortified, I have just broadcast some of my husbands most personal and darkest childhood experiences to a courtroom filled with press waiting to eat up every word.

I can feel Christian is tense as he walks beside me and I can't bring myself to speak or even look at him. As soon as we are in the sanctuary of the side room I turn to Christian with panic filling me. I take his hand but still don't look him in the eyes as I am afraid of what I will see there, I can imagine the disappointment and hurt that I too have betrayed him.

"Christian, I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me, that idiot got to me, he was saying that I was having a relationship with Jack and then he tried to make out that there was more between me and Jose, so when he started on the same tack with Garrett who I didn't even know until recently I just lost it, I'm sorry can you forgive me?"

The words tumble out of my mouth in a rush and I wait for Christian to respond. I stare at his hand which I am caressing gently with mine, and when he pulls it from my grasp my heart falters and I wait for the inevitable rage.

Instead I feel him pull me close and wrap his arms around me and kiss the top of my head.

"Ana look at me" he says quietly.

I look up and for the first time I realise we are totally alone, everyone has quietly melted away, I look into his beautiful grey eyes and I am shocked by what I see, I don't see reproach or hurt I see love.

"Ana, it's ok, really its fine, you nailed it baby. I know you didn't mean to say all those things, I saw your expression when you realised what you had done, you were mortified, but really it's absolutely fine I don't mind" he says to me.

"But, the press?" I begin.

Christian holds his hand up and shakes his head, "Fuck the press, they will make a big thing of it for a couple of days, and then something else will be more interesting and newsworthy" he shrugs dismissively.

"You really don't mind?" I ask.

"No baby, truth be known you have probably done us a favour, the defence start their case tomorrow, we can use this information in questioning to prove his motive, we have the recording Welch gave us which we can now use, and my mother is going to provide photographs which were taken of me when I was first taken to the ER, as a toddler which show my injuries in all their raw infected glory, this is helping baby and... this is giving me my closure against what that man did to me, and for that baby I thank you and I love you even more. You gave me closure with Elena and now this, there is nothing more left in my past now which can affect us, you have cleared out all the ghosts for me and I love you for it".

The tears are falling freely and I cling to Christian as he comforts me and runs his hand rhythmically up and down my back. After a moment or so has passed there is a knock at the door and Christian tells whoever it is to come in.

I look around and see Kate and Eva coming in, followed by Gideon and John Flynn and then everyone else who has been at the court supporting us follows. Kate and Eva both make a beeline for me asking me if I am ok, I nod and manage a smile and I sniff loudly and wipe away the remains of the tears on my damp cheek.

By the time we leave, everyone has assured me I did well and our lawyer is overjoyed at the turn of events today.

When we arrive back at Escala, Christian runs us a bath and we spend a long while relaxing in the warm water. Christian cares for me, gently washing me and kissing me and telling me how much he loves me.

There is nothing remotely sexual about it, this is Christian just loving and caring for me. He pays close attention to my small bump and when he has finished washing me he circles my stomach protectively with his hand, and we just lie there in silence.

When we both decide we have been in the water long enough, we are both pruny and Christian wraps a towel around me and carefully and almost reverently dries me, I do the same for him and it is nice, it's like we are affirming our love for each other.

When we are dry he leads me into the bedroom. I stand and watch him as he produces a brush and then he gestures towards a chair, I sit down and he slowly moves behind me and then leaning his crutches against the chair he carefully brushes my damp hair and then dries it. Hardly a word passes between us and when everything is done I slip my feet into a pair of flip flops.

"Are you hungry baby?" Christian asks suddenly.

I nod, "I am now, I wasn't but now I'm relaxed my appetite has returned" I admit.

"Come on then" he says and retrieving his crutches we head out to the kitchen, as I go to open the freezer he shakes his head and pulls out a chair and points at it.

"No baby, tonight I am taking care of you" he says.

I smile at the thought of Christian cooking, and a giggle escapes me, he turns and looks at me his eyebrows raised in question.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Nothing, well... the thought of you cooking is quite amusing!" I say.

"You wound me" he says with mock hurt and I giggle again.

He shuts the freezer door and walks towards me, "I love that sound" he says as he strokes his hand through my hair.

I open my legs and pull him closer and rest my head on his chest.

"And I love you, with all my heart" I say quietly.

After a moment Christian pulls away from me, "Food Mrs Grey, lets get back to the task in hand" he moves slowly back to the freezer and I watch him rummaging through it.

There isn't anything which he approves of and he moves to the fridge, I see his face light up as he reaches in and pulls out a large tub and looks at me questioningly.

"Mac and Cheese?" I ask.

Christian nods enthusiastically "yep, Gail said she had put some fresh Mac and Cheese in the fridge" he says.

"Ok" I say and Christian's answering smile is blinding.

I watch as he heats it up and carefully divides it into two bowls, I go to stand and help him as he is struggling coordinating his crutches and the food, but he shakes his head and point back at the chair, I sit down again and watch as he carefully brings me my bowl of food, after retrieving his own, he joins me on the seat next to me and there we sit in companionable silence eating our food.

"Where did the love of Mac and Cheese come from?" I ask.

Christian smiles a sad smile.

"It was the first thing I had to eat at the hospital, after I was found and taken there, it was the first thing I had eaten in god knows how long, apart from the frozen peas I had found in the freezer, and eaten when I was alone with my birth mother".

My heart lurches as he tells me that and I pause and gaze at him as he remembers.

"Grace and a nurse had bathed me and tended to my injuries – I had made the whole thing quite an ordeal for them as I recall, and Grace put me into the hospital bed, and while the nurse sat with me and read me a story to calm me down, Grace went to fetch me some food, she brought it to me and I was so hungry I ate it too fast and made myself sick. I was terrified I would be punched or slapped for it, so I jumped out and hid under the bed, but she was so calm and gentle, she told me not to worry and after she had coaxed me out, she cleaned me up and the nurse got some fresh bedding. Grace gave me a drink, and brought me another bowl full, and told me to take my time, that no-one was going to take it away, and to eat it slowly. I did, and it was the best thing I had ever tasted. When I was eventually adopted by Carrick and Grace and left the foster home, the first meal I had in my new home, with my new mom and dad was Mac Cheese, mom remembered I had enjoyed it and I have always enjoyed it since then, it has always been a favourite".

He stops talking and I can't say anything after hearing that and I stare at him, what he went through defies belief and to see him now and the man he has become, at this moment I don't think I could love him any more than I do.

Christian turns and looks at me, "Hey, it was a long time ago baby, don't get upset, please," he says concern filling his face, he puts down his now empty bowl and reaches for me.

"I'm not upset Christian, I'm just thinking how amazing you are," I say.

Christian snorts at me and stares at me as if I am crazy.

"You are Christian" I say resolutely, I put down my bowl and reach for him.

"I don't think I could love you more, and be more proud to call myself your wife, what you have accomplished after what you have been through in your life is astounding, and you should be so proud of yourself".

I watch as he shakes his head and turns away. He eases himself off the chair and reaches for his crutches. I know he has dismissed what I have said as he doesn't believe a word of it.

The next day there is a sense of apprehension in the court, and it appears to be coming from the defence side. Their lawyers look concerned, and then they ask for a discussion with our legal team. We wait and when our lawyers return they look smug.

"They know they are screwed" our lawyer says bluntly.

"He has been pushing for a plea bargain, but despite their lawyers advising them of this, all three want to take the stand and testify, and it appears that in doing so could seal their fate, but we can't be complacent because it could also convince the jury that none of them are the full ticket, and that could be a worry for us as we may not get the convictions we are hoping for if there is reasonable doubt to their sanity".

I go cold "so all this could be for nothing if the jury believe that they are nuts!" I gasp.

Our lawyer nods, "We need to prove that they knew exactly what they were doing, and it was all a cold calculated plan by three men coming together with assorted underlying motives," he says.

"But, you can do that?" I ask.

"I can do my best Mrs Grey, and I have things I can use, but I will need you and Mr Grey to give me some direction on this as we go along, as you know these characters better than I do".

Both Christian and I nod, "I can do that" I say firmly and Christian echoes my words.

The defence start with their opening statement which clearly doesn't hold water with the weight of evidence we have offered to this point.

Christian stares at the folder containing the photographs his mother provided, he won't let me look at them, and I wonder if it was a good idea to have them brought in. I'm not convinced we will be able to use them as its new evidence and the defence will object to that.

The first person to take the stand is Jose, I watch as he walks over and states his name. His behaviour and part in all this is still the one which hurts the most.

The defence lawyer speaks "Mr Rodriguez can you tell the court how you know Mr and Mrs Grey?" he asks.

Jose nods and opens his mouth to speak.

"I met Ana at WSU, she shared an apartment with Kate Kavanagh and we used to hang out, she was a good friend, we discovered our fathers were old army buddies and it brought us closer together, when she got with Grey I was worried, not about his wealth, as money had never interested Ana and she wasn't that sort of person to be influenced by it, but he seemed so controlling and I was worried he would swallow her up. I didn't want to see her hurt. She didn't listen to me, and I admit I may have crossed the line a few times in my concern for my friend".

He stops and waits for the next question, it is clear he has been coached by the defence to sound the concerned friend who crossed lines but with the best of intentions.

"What made you so worried, were there any particular reasons behind this concern?" the lawyer asks and Jose nods.

"Yes, we all went out for a drink a group of us from the college, Grey had been pursuing Ana, quite aggressively so, after she had interviewed him for the student newspaper for Kate, he had sent her gifts and things, then this particular night, we were all a little drunk not excessively so but you know we were enjoying ourselves and Ana drunk dialled him and he tracked her down by her cell phone and came to the bar to fetch her. He attacked me and practically demanded that she left with him," Jose says.

"Mr Grey attacked you?" the lawyer prompts.

"Yes he did" Jose says firmly.

"May I ask why and how he attacked you?" the lawyer asks, he is gaining more confidence by the second.

"Yes, as I said we were all a bit the worse for wear, and I stupidly made a pass at Ana, she said no and tried to push me away, and the next thing I know Grey was right there and he pulled me off her, I know I behaved badly that night and I don't condone my actions at all and I totally regret what I did, but I would never ever hurt Ana. We were both drunk, but the way he reacted wasn't right either".

Jose stops, I lean towards our lawyer and whisper in his ear.

"He's talking bullshit, Christian didn't lay a finger on him that night, he pulled me away from him and Jose was so wasted he almost fell over, also Jose left me with Christian that night when I started throwing up, he jumped back in disgust and then disappeared back inside, and it was Christian who took care of me and cleaned me up". I whisper.

Our lawyer nods and makes a quick note of this.

"When it became clear that Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele was embarking on a relationship with Mr Grey did you try and warn her or step in?" the lawyer asks.

Jose nods, "Yes, but I couldn't get near her, he had security surrounding her and I tried to call her numerous times but her number seemed to be disconnected, one night after I heard they had married, I called her and got Grey instead and he refused to let me speak to her, so I asked him to let her know I had called, but he didn't".

He stops and shakes his head sadly, I am disgusted by his performance.

Again, I lean towards our lawyer, "that's a damn lie, I wasn't there that night I was out with Eva and Kate so I wasn't there to speak to him and he damn well knows it. Also it was Christian he called not me, and yes it's true that Christian didn't tell me about the fact he called, but that was because he genuinely forgot about it. Also, he knows I changed my number, Gideon bought me a new phone as a present, and I sent out a round robin text to everyone informing them of my new number, and besides I wasn't actually in a relationship with Christian when I got my new phone – although he was still pursuing me at that point, so how could I be surrounded by his security?" I say, and I pull my phone out of my purse and call up the original round robin message which is still in my records and show it to him. Our lawyer nods again and makes more notes.

"Thank you Mr Rodriguez" his lawyer states and sits down looking satisfied if not relieved at how it went.

Our lawyer stands and looks carefully at Jose. "Mr Rodriguez, the night you say Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele was drunk – were you aware of the fact Miss Steele was drunk?" he asks.

Jose nods, "I was, but I was drunk too. I'm not proud of what I did, I tried to kiss her and she said no but Grey came charging in like a Neanderthal, anyone would think I was raping her the way he over reacted" Jose says.

"So in your opinion, you didn't think Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele was safe to be left with Mr Grey?" our lawyer asks.

"No I didn't" Jose answers firmly.

"Well if that is the case Mr Rodriguez, why was it when Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele began to vomit and was clearly in a vulnerable state, did you do just that? Is it not true Mr Rodriguez that you _did_ leave her alone with Mr Grey, the man who you say you had so many concerns about, and went back inside the club?" our lawyer asks mildly.

Jose looks dumbstruck, "I... I... I" he stammers.

"I would remind you, that you are under oath" our lawyer says.

Jose glances at me and then simply nods his head, "yes I did" he whispers.

"I'd like to move on now Mr Rodriguez, you have just stated that you tried numerous times to contact Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele and were unable to?" our lawyer says

"That's right" Jose answers, trying to pull himself together.

"Were you unaware that she had acquired a new cell phone and had a new number?" our lawyer asks.

"Erm, yes I was" Jose answers.

"So, you are telling me, you did not receive this text from Mrs Grey, then Miss Steele?"

Our lawyer picks up my phone and reads out the brief message and the list of people I sent it to. "I have a new cell phone number please amend your records, Ana - and this was sent to Kate, Ray, Christian, Jose and Mom," he looks at Jose questioningly.

Jose shuffles uncomfortably and doesn't say anything, but our lawyer continues. "Also the date this was sent, Miss Steele wasn't actually in a relationship with Mr Grey at this point they were merely friends, so how could she be surrounded by Mr Grey's security?"

"I must have been mistaken about the time line" Jose mumbles.

"Not to worry Mr Rodriguez, everyone makes mistakes" our lawyer says.

"Now Mr Rodriguez I'd like to ask you about a few things a little more recent, and relevant to this case - they are all linked, first of all the accident involving Mrs Grey's father Ray Steele, and the sabotage of Charlie Tango".

Jose nods, but pales considerably.

Our lawyer takes out a copy of the letter Jose sent me admitting to everything and begins to read it to the court, we had originally released this with all the other information at the beginning of the trial, but its contents were purposely glossed over when the security team gave their evidence as our team were concerned as to why Jose was actually standing trial when he had effectively confessed. So this will be interesting, to see not only Jose's reaction but that of the defence lawyers and Garrett and Hyde.

"I have here a letter which you sent to Mrs Grey after you were arrested over the sabotage of Charlie Tango when evidence put you at the scene, it is has been logged with the court and listed as evidence L4376, anyway this letter reads as follows:

_Dear Ana_

_I am writing to you to apologise, I have been involved with something terrible and I am so ashamed I don't know where to begin to explain. _

_I realise by doing this I am going to lose what ever friendship we had but it is all I deserve in the circumstances. My confession is that I first met up with Jack Hyde quite a while ago. Kate told me about what went down in New York between you two and I was furious that he tried to attack you, I loved you I wanted to kill him but when I talked to him I realised it wasn't you he was after, it was your husband – although you weren't with him at the time that man was pursuing you and Hyde realised that you meant something to him and he wanted to take it away from him._

_Jack Hyde and your husband go way back, he told me they were in a foster home together in Detroit and that when the Grey family came looking to adopt, your husband stole away his chance of getting out of that place, when they picked him. He has held a grudge ever since and when you got with him he felt history was repeating itself, he took away his parents and the chance of a good home and then years later he took away a woman he was interested in – namely you and then eventually his job as well. _

_I agreed to help him get back at your husband, I was so angry I wasn't thinking straight, I wanted to hurt you so when he was released and it coincided with your father coming to visit my dad, the plan came together in my mind. I am not proud of myself Ana, and I know what I did was despicable but I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, I wasn't thinking straight. I realised how far I had crossed the line when I saw you at the hospital, surrounded by your friends and him, and realised I had lost you for ever and it destroyed me. I have confessed everything I did and I have told the police everything I know about the plot with Hyde regarding the helicopter._

_I don't know who Tony Garrett is but Hyde turned up with him one day and assured me that he had the power to bring Christian Grey to his knees, so I agreed to help them. In my mind it was a win win situation for me, they got their revenge on him and in the process I had a chance of getting you back, if something happened to him I could step in and be the friend you needed. But against the odds he survived and you will never want me now, so I am telling you all this, hopefully in a small way to make some amends for the pain and distress I have caused you and to say goodbye, I realise now you love him and nobody will ever come close to him in your mind. I hope he realises what a wonderful woman he has and treats you the way you deserve to be loved._

_Goodbye Ana and I hope that although I don't deserve it you will find it in your heart one day to forgive what I did._

_Jose"_

Our lawyer stops speaking, the defence lawyer is looking distinctly ill and rifling through his papers to find his copy of the letter, he knows he has dropped the ball on this one. There is a deathly silence which has fallen over the courtroom, our lawyer waits and looks at Jose.

"Tell me Mr Rodriguez, do you remember sending this letter to Mrs Grey?"

Jose looks wildly around the room, he looks at me and his shoulders slump, "yes I did" he whispers.

"Thank you Mr Rodriguez and can you confirm that what you have written here is truthful account of events as you saw them?" Our lawyer asks.

Jose looks around the court room again and sighs "Yes its true, every last word," he says in a defeated tone.


	56. Chapter 56

CHAPTER 56

The stunned reaction to Jose's admission is broken by a venomous outburst from the defence benches.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU FUCKING SOLD US OUT, I TOLD HYDE YOU COULDN'T BE TRUSTED YOU RUINED EVERYTHING, I SPENT YEARS FOLLOWING THAT LITTLE SHIT PLANNING TO GET FROM HIM WHAT HE FUCKING OWED ME, AND YOU FUCK IT UP BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIS FUCKING WIFE, CHRIST I KNEW I SHOULD NEVER HAVE AGREED TO WORK WITH YOU OR HYDE, BUT AT LEAST HE KNEW HOW TO KEEP TO THE FUCKING PLAN!"

Tony Garrett is on his feet his face is purple and he is spitting as he rages at Jose.

Jack sits quietly but he too is glaring at Jose.

The defence team pull Garrett down desperately trying to shut him up and stop him from dropping himself in it any further.

"Thank you Mr Rodriguez - No more questions," our lawyer says smugly and sits down.

The judge looks at the defence, who are in obvious disarray trying to control Garrett, he is eventually led out of the court room so the trial can continue. Jack is up next and we have to prove that Jack is totally sane and just a twisted son of a bitch who held a massive grudge against Christian.

The defence lawyer stands it is obvious he is just going through the motions now, and has no heart in this whatsoever.

"Mr Hyde can you tell the court where and how you first met Christian Grey?" he asks in a flat voice.

Jack nods, "I first met Grey when I was eight years old, I was in foster care in Detroit and he was brought to where I was living, he was a scared little runt frightened of his own shadow and he had this stupid blanket which he took everywhere. I didn't pay that much attention to him to be honest, but it bugged me that he got so much attention from Mrs Collier when he came, and as a result she practically ignored me, because of him I'd been pushed aside, then one day these two people came to the house and I heard them talking to Mrs Collier about adoption, I went closer and I realised that this was my chance of getting out of there, but as soon as they set eyes on him that was it, they made a bee line for him I didn't stand a chance, I tried to talk to them and tell them I would be a better choice but they didn't listen, they said that the adoption was already going through, I was furious, he stole my family, he stole my chance, then years later I saw her".

He looks straight at me and points to me, "and I wanted her, she came for an interview at SIP and I fought to get her, she wasn't really qualified enough, but I had to have her so I fought for her and I got her, then once again he showed up in the picture it became clear he wanted her as well, and once again I was pushed out so I planned my revenge, twice he took away my chance of a family of my own and happiness and I wanted him to pay".

He stops and looks at the defence lawyer who is standing with his mouth open, it is obvious that was not what he was expecting Jack to say, he throws his hands up and sits down without another word.

Our lawyer stands up, "Mr Hyde, going back to your childhood and the time you first became acquainted with Mr Grey, isn't it true you were returned to your mother a few months after Mr Grey left the foster care home?"

Jack nods, "Yes I was," he says.

"So, is not also true that you were never in a position to be adopted? Mr Grey was an orphan and when Mr and Mrs Grey explained that the adoption was already going through, that wasn't because they didn't want you, but because they had already chosen Christian and adoption proceedings were indeed, already in progress?"

"Yes I know that, I'm not stupid but it stayed with me and made me feel worthless and unwanted and when he ruined my chances with Ana, it brought back all those feelings, that I had been set aside, that I was irrelevant" he says.

"Mr Hyde, are you aware that when you were pursuing Miss Steele, Mr Grey wasn't actually in a relationship with her and it was a pure coincidence that he was pursuing the same woman as you were?"

Again Jack nods, "Yes I know, but I fucking wanted her though, and I always got the women I wanted, always - even if they didn't stay with me, none of them ever stayed with me they all left, but she was the first one who resisted from the start, she said no and it pissed me off. I knew I had to force her to want me, but she still resisted and then I find out she said yes to him - what did he have that I didn't?" he asks.

With these words I suddenly see Jack in a whole new light; he is a damaged vulnerable little boy in a man's body. He was just looking for some security in life but he went about it the wrong way, by assaulting women who he came into contact with and which in turn made them leave, which he then saw as rejection and so the cycle continued and made him more insecure, bitter and dangerous.

I had in a way stopped that cycle by refusing to even consider having anything to do with him, but that had just made him all the more determined to have me. Then because I chose to be with Christian it dredged up all Jacks old feelings of being pushed out by Christian. Jack had been taken from his mother and he had formed a relationship with Mrs Collier, he had felt pushed out when Christian had arrived and then pushed aside when Christian was adopted by Carrick and Grace. He isn't insane, but he is very broken and he needs professional psychiatric help and counselling.

I grip Christian's hand and I wonder where the lawyer is going to go with this. I watch as he thinks for a moment his face grim, then he looks up and speaks.

"Mr Hyde, in the letter Mr Rodriguez sent to Mrs Grey he states you were involved in the Charlie Tango sabotage, and all the compelling evidence we have provided seems to back up that fact, did you participate in the sabotage of Charlie Tango?" he asks.

I stare at him, surely he's not expecting Jack to simply confess and then it hits me, that is exactly what he wants him to do, he too saw Jack for what he really is and he wants him to get the help he needs.

Jack looks at our lawyer, and shrugs, "I didn't participate, I was the one who wrecked that chopper, I was the one who made it fall out of the sky, I wanted her to feel the loss".

He stops and then he thumps his hand on the stand in front of him and his voice rises and he starts to rant, "if Grey had died she would be alone she would feel how I felt when she rejected me, and chose him. I wanted her to feel how I felt, and I needed her to know how I felt. I had tried that already, when I ran her father off the road. I wanted her to know and feel what Grey took away from me - he took away Mrs Collier and the Grey's he took away the life and family I should have had so I wanted her to know. That was her punishment for rejecting me but also a warning, I wanted to show her what he did to me by doing the same to her," he stops ranting and his eyes dart erratically around the room.

"No more questions" our lawyer says quietly.

I am shocked to the core by Jack's outburst, he is confused and broken and he desperately needs help and despite everything he has done to me and my family I feel sorry for him, as in some ways he is just like Christian. He has some deep seated issues which stem from his childhood and he is just as broken as Christian, is but the difference is he just hasn't lived with and dealt with his issues as well as Christian has, and they have manifested themselves in cruel and vindictive behaviour.

It is established that Garrett won't be taking the stand, his outburst which nailed his guilt appeared to be enough and the defence team are refusing to allow him to take the stand and incriminate himself even more, so the file of photographs remains closed and private and I am actually relieved about that.

The jury go through the motions of deliberation but swiftly return with their verdicts of guilty for all three men. Garrett is sentenced to a combined thirty years for attempted murder and attempted kidnap, along with other minor charges which the prosecution managed to attach, Jack Hyde is detained in a secure state psychiatric unit indefinitely and Jose gets twelve months for his involvement and just like that its all over, it almost feels like an anti climax after having it hanging over us for over three months.

"Are you happy with the outcome?" I ask Christian as we leave the court. I think I am happy with it, if not a little stunned by it all.

Christian doesn't answer me and I look around to see what has attracted his attention and I see Jez has appeared at the court, I'm surprised to see him here, he has had a lot on his plate recently, he has been invaluable to Christian since he took over from Welch and Raul handed over the reins to him and our security is now second to none. He works well with Jason and Luke and the feedback from Christian's team which I promised would be implemented is all positive.

We have supported him as well, his mother has been responding well to the treatment which Christian set up for her and it appears that the original prognosis wasn't as grim as was first thought. As I watch him, he is in deep conversation with Jason and Luke and they keep looking towards us then after appearing to consider something Jason shakes his head and says something. Jez nods and leaves, he walks past us and Christian speaks to him as he passes.

"Hamilton, good to see you, how's your mother?" he asks.

Jez stops and I see slight colour flush his cheeks, he glances quickly at Jason and then recovers.

"She's doing well sir, thank you for asking. Congratulations on the verdict sir and if you'll excuse me I need to get back" he says, and with that he is gone.

I smile, he always seems a little embarrassed by Christian's concern with regard to his personal life.

Christian's attention comes back to me "Sorry, what did you say baby?" he asks.

"I said, are you happy with the outcome?" I repeat.

He nods, "I am" he says but doesn't say anything else and I don't push him.

He pulls me close to his side and wraps his arm protectively around me as we face the gauntlet of the media outside. Kate has prepared a statement and she stands and reads it to the assembled media, she knows how to handle them.

We don't make any comment or answer any questions and head back to Escala. Gideon and Eva accompany us and we drop them off at their apartment, we have decided to have lunch together and then they are going to fly back to New York, and we don't try to talk them out of it.

Christian and I go and change, as I am getting into some more casual clothes I feel Christian coming up behind me he lets his crutches drop to the ground and wraps his arms around me and places his hands protectively on my bump.

"We look forward now," he says quietly but firmly.

I turn in his arms and look at him carefully.

I nod but don't say anything, it's almost as if an eerie calm has settled over Christian and I'm not sure how to handle it. He presses a kiss to my head and buries his nose in my hair inhales deeply and then he continues to speak.

"All that matters to me now is you and our baby, my past has been dealt with and your past has been dealt with. It's over – finished; now we move on. We have things to look forward to, we have our own little family to consider, and our child will never ever know the pain and suffering either one of us has felt, our child will be happy, healthy and will always know that that he..."

Christian pauses for a moment before he continues, "or she" he concedes.

"Is loved, and is the centre of our world and that they have two parents who will do everything humanly possible to ensure that security and happiness".

He stops and I nod unable to say anything, due to the huge lump in my throat.

When I can eventually speak again, I whisper in his ear, "You are going to be such a wonderful father," I say quietly.

Christian responds by just pulling me closer.

I don't know how long we stand there like that, but eventually I pull away, "we are supposed to be meeting Eva and Gideon for lunch" I say.

I barely get the words out when I hear voices down the corridor and I know either Luke or Jason have let them in.

We quickly finish getting changed and head out to the great room where Gideon and Eva are lounging on the sofa waiting for us, as we approach them they both stand up, Eva hugs me and looks carefully at me.

"Everything ok?" she whispers to me as she embraces me.

I nod, "Everything is perfect" I say quietly to her.

"Good, glad to hear it" she replies with a genuinely happy smile.

We go to a nearby restaurant, and although we choose to eat in a private side room, out the way of prying eyes and press intrusion, we have a light hearted and pleasant lunch.

"So what are your plans now?" Gideon asks as we are waiting for our lunch to arrive.

I look questioningly at Christian, as I have no idea what happens next, his words from earlier immediately spring to my mind and I repeat them.

"We look forward," I say still looking at my husband as I speak his words.

Christian nods, "professionally speaking I have a number of acquisitions in the pipeline, personally well..."

He reaches for my hand and squeezes it, "I am looking forward to the weekend away with you, Ray and Victor, I want that to happen sooner rather than later and I also want to take my wife away for a short vacation, just the two of us – or should I say three of us" he says.

His hand instinctively goes to my stomach as he says that.

"With our schedules it will probably be the last chance we will get before the baby is born, how about you two?" he looks at Gideon as he asks this.

"Pretty much the same idea actually, Eva and I are flying back to New York this afternoon. I too have a number of business irons in the fire at the moment and I am eager to return to oversee their conclusion. I am going to call Victor when we get home and arrange our weekend in Aspen, and I'll get back to you. Then I am planning to take my wife to the Outer Banks house for a vacation before she reaches the point where it will be unwise for her to fly. I think we all deserve some down time to just kick back, it's been one thing or another, and it's been constant, we all deserve some peace and quiet" he says.

Christian nods in agreement, "absolutely" he says.

"It's been one long roller coaster, I must say because its been so tumultuous and because so much has happened in such a short space of time, I am sitting here unable to quite believe that it is all finally finished and behind us, and I am almost waiting for something else to happen". he adds.

Then he turns to me and grips my hand tightly and looks at me with a look of such intense love it takes my breath away.

"But I wouldn't change a single moment, as I have also experienced the best moments of my life ever this past year," I feel emotional at Christian's words and Gideon nods before replying.

"I totally agree with you" he says, "this time last year it was just me and my work, I lived for Cross industries and I was just existing, I had no idea what it was like to actually live, then you and Ana came into my life, and then I met Eva. For the first time I had real friends who were just interested in me and not my wealth, influence and connections. I may be a multi billionaire, but I have only felt a truly rich man this past year, since you three have been in my life, and now the icing on the cake so to speak is that I am going to become a father and have my own family, something I had always dreamed of, but never thought could possibly happen, but Eva accepts me the way I am and I can't describe the feelings I have, knowing that Eva loves me and is giving me my dreams, and giving me a life worth living, despite me being the total fucked up mess I am".

Christian nods "Isn't that the truth" he says.

"Before Ana - for me, it was all about GEH, making money and the material things in life, I assumed that was all I had to offer anyone, and my previous erm... sexual partners consolidated that opinion for me, as they had no problem taking everything I offered. Then Ana came into my life and turned that on its head, she showed me that, that side of things was irrelevant, she had no interest in my wealth and went as far as refusing my gifts," he pauses and shakes his head.

"I couldn't handle that, it freaked me out, I just couldn't believe anyone would be remotely interested in just me, I still can't at times and I am terrified that one day she will wake up and realise what a huge mistake she has made by putting her love and trust in me".

"Never" I whisper, and I reach over and touch Christian's face. I look at Gideon and he is once again nodding in agreement.

"Absolutely – I have exactly the same fear about Eva" he says quietly and I watch as Eva offers him the same reassurance I am currently giving Christian.

I look at Eva and her expression mirrors mine, we always underestimate the effect our presence has had on these two men, men who publicly appear so strong, arrogant and in control, two multi billionaires who between them own the equivalent to a small country's economy and who command respect from everyone they come into contact with, and yet privately are so insecure and broken. Here they are bearing their souls and their insecurities and proclaiming how much we mean to them, so intimately and honestly, it's disarming.

We finish our lunch and we accompany Gideon and Eva to the airport, Gideon and Christian talk about the weekend in Aspen and how they want it to happen soon within the next few weeks or so. After numerous hugs and kisses we watch as they climb aboard Gideon's jet.

I feel a strange emotion akin to bereavement as I watch them go, its silly, as we will all be together again soon and it is right and proper that they go, after all they have their own lives to lead, and Gideon has his empire to run but our lives have been so entwined this past year and so many links established between us which defy all probability and we have spent so much time with them, it feels as though part of me is leaving too as I watch them go.


	57. Chapter 57

CHAPTER 57

_Three weeks later_…

**(EVA)**

I am standing staring out of the window at Christian's home in Aspen, taking in the beautiful view of the mountains. I am sipping a mug of coffee and Gideon is still sleeping, but for some unknown reason I am wide a wake despite it being early.

I turn away from the window, and go and look at what I believe is even more a far beautiful view, my sleeping husband. I have noticed that his night terrors have slowly receded the past few months, since he has been talking them through with me, he gets them but not with the frequency he did when we first got together. The fact he is talking about it more, is helping and he is slowly coming to terms with his horrific past.

I head downstairs to the living room area and I am surprised to see Ana sitting with a mug of tea on the sofa.

"Hi" I say quietly.

She looks up at me and smiles, "Hi, couldn't you sleep either?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No" I say simply.

I sit down beside Ana, "What have the men got planned for today?" I ask.

Ana takes another drink of her tea, "I think Christian is planning a fishing experience which no-one will forget, he and Ray were discussing it last night" she says with a grin.

I giggle, "Hunting really wasn't Christian's cup of tea was it?" I say as I recall the hunting expedition of the day before.

Ana shakes her head, "No, he doesn't like guns, he gets his views from Grace and Carrick, and he hates it that I am so at home around them, but Ray taught me to shoot and I enjoy it," she says.

"I thought he was going to have a seizure yesterday when he caught you with that rifle," I say with a grin.

Ana giggles at this and nods, "So did I, we had argued about it earlier and he had demanded I sit out, but you know me! I think my only saving grace was that Ray was there, not to mention you guys and Victor, and he didn't want to lose it in front of everyone".

I laugh as recall the hunting expedition of the previous day...

_I am watching Gideon and my father as they eagerly load the guns into the pick up truck. I am overjoyed to see them chatting easily with each other and bonding, this is the first chance they have really had to do this, it's good not only for my dad so see Gideon in a casual setting, but also for my husband as he is seriously lacking in the father figure department. _

_I am sitting this activity out and I assume Ana would be watching as well so I am shocked when I see her walking up with a baseball cap on her head carrying a large and impressive looking hunting rifle. Actually, I nearly die of shock and I look around for Christian as I'm certain he will also have something to say about it._

_"Ana, Christian is going to flip when he sees you with that" I say._

_She just grins at me, as Ray appears and gives Ana a few pointers which she listens patiently to and as they are talking Christian strolls up and as soon as he sees Ana with the gun in her hand he freezes._

_"Ana? Baby, what are you doing with that?" he asks mildly._

_"What do you think I am doing with it Christian, I am going hunting," Ana replies confidently._

_I glance at Gideon who is watching with interest and I see a small smile pull at his lips as Christian is obviously fighting every instinct he has to forbid Ana and tell her that no way on earth is she going hunting. _

_"Do you think that's a good idea?" he eventually asks stiffly._

_Ana nods, "I'll be fine Christian, my dad is here, you are here, I know what I am doing and I will be perfectly safe after all nobody here is going to shoot me!"_

_I watch as Christian struggles with this and looks helplessly at Ray for some sort of input, but Ray just slaps Christian on the back._

_"Listen son, if she was further along in the pregnancy I'd say no way, but she is fine and she knows how to handle the rifle, why don't you join us and have a go yourself, you never know you might enjoy it?"_

_I nearly burst out laughing at that and the expression on Christian's face. All credit to him though Christian nods in agreement but we can all tell he isn't happy about any of this. Ray quickly goes through the list of creatures which can legally be hunted at this time of year, Badger, Mink, Pine Marten, Gray Fox, Red Fox, Swift Fox, Raccoon, Ring-Tailed Cat, Striped Skunk, Western Spotted Skunk, Long-Tailed Weasel, Short-Tailed Weasel, Opossum, Muskrat, Bobcats, Black-tailed, white-tailed , and Gunnison's prairie dogs, Fox & pine squirrels, Cottontails, snowshoe hare, white-tailed & black-tailed jackrabbits all appear to be fair game, and eventually the hunting party head out. _

_I stay back out of the way observing the group and watch the proceedings with interest, my father is in his element, but he has always loved going hunting and being a cop he is comfortable around guns of all descriptions, and Gideon is better than I thought he would be. I am shocked at Ana though, she is a pro with a gun and she is clearly having the time of her life. Christian is awkward around the gun and I don't think he is having a good time, his morals regarding firearms are clear by the way he looks at the rifles with distain, but he patiently listens as Ray instructs him how to use it and to his credit he participates with good grace._

_It doesn't surprise me when Gideon and my father get their first hits and by the end of the day Gideon has bagged a skunk and a Raccoon, my father has also shot a raccoon but Ana out shoots them all, the list of casualties a long one, Ray stares at the dead animals with pride in his eyes._

_"That's my girl" he says as he hugs Ana tightly._

_Ray didn't actually shoot anything as he spent the most of the day coaching Christian. Needless to say Christian didn't manage to shoot anything either, but I could tell he was proud of Ana for her haul even though he didn't agree with the principal of hunting…_

I am brought back to the here and now as Ana speaks to me.

"Hello Eva?" she says waving at me.

"Oh sorry what did you say?" I say bringing my attention back to her.

"I said what are we going to do today, I'm not a fan of fishing?" She asks.

I shrug, "Neither am I, to be honest, I'd like just to stay here and watch some TV and perhaps read and relax", I suggest.

Ana nods, "That sounds like a plan - just vegetate, I can do that! Carmella has stocked the fridge and we have a good range of DVD's to watch".

We both giggle and then our attention is drawn to the door as it opens and our husbands enter the room.

"Here you both are!" Christian exclaims.

I watch him make his way slowly across the room, he is now walking with only one crutch and I am constantly in awe of the progress he is making.

Ana rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Where did you think we were Christian?" she says with a grin.

He leans down and kisses her, and Gideon wanders over and sits beside me planting kiss on my neck and he rubs his hand over my bump.

"Good morning Angel" he whispers in my ear.

Christian pours himself some coffee and sits down beside Ana, "So ladies what are your plans today?" he asks.

I look up at him, "Ana and I are going to veg out in front of the TV we are being couch potatoes today watching DVD's, reading and generally doing nothing at all" I say.

"Sounds like a plan!" Gideon says with a grin.

"Well we on the other hand are going fishing, I think Christian has something to prove after yesterday's activity," he adds.

Christian throws back his head and laughs, "I have to admit yesterday was a little, no, it was totally out of my comfort zone but it was an experience," he says.

"I loved it, it's been years since I went hunting with my dad," Ana says with a smile as she is remembers the previous days activity.

At that moment the door opens and Ray and my father come wandering in, they are in deep conversation about fishing. I glance at Ana and grin, and she shakes her head. Ray is in his element when the conversation turns to fishing. I am happy Ray and my dad have hit it off so well, they both have the same view on life and it is obvious that they have become firm friends.

We head into the kitchen where Carmella is preparing breakfast, it smells wonderful and my stomach growls. As we are eating breakfast I spot Jason Taylor he is walking around outside talking on his cell phone. I'm surprised I hadn't seen any security at all this trip until now.

"Oh there's Jason" I say.

Everyone turns and looks out the window, he sees everyone staring at him and he looks uncomfortable, both Ana and I wave and his face breaks into a smile and he nods and offers a small salute type wave back before continuing with his conversation.

"What security do you have here with us Christian?" Ray asks politely.

Christian shakes his head, "Just Taylor and Sawyer – but Taylor is here with Gail on semi vacation, he is determined to be back on active duty rather than confined to the office, so I said he could come with us this weekend, on the condition he brought Gail with him and didn't overdo it, ease himself back in slowly," he says.

After breakfast the men head out in the pick-up, the fishing equipment thrown in the back and Ana and I watch them go, Luke is accompanying them and Jason is staying here with us. Ana has gone to find Gail to invite her to join us in our day of vegetation.

We are half way through our third DVD, there are empty soda bottles and bowls of chips and popcorn are scattered everywhere and the atmosphere is light, when Jason appears he looks around the room with amusement at the scene.

"Jason, come and join us!" Ana cries and pats the sofa.

He shakes his head, "I think I will politely decline Mrs Grey" he says.

"Erm Mrs Grey I need to speak with you about something" he says.

Ana looks at him and nods and leaves the room with him. I watch them go, a sense of foreboding overwhelming me, I glance at Gail and she looks sad, and I wonder if she knows what Jason needs to speak to Ana about.

"Do you know what is happening Gail?" I ask.

She hesitates and then nods, "I do but I can't say anything" she says.

I nod and don't push her, I know Gail is very loyal to Christian and Ana, and although we are like family too there is still that line which neither she nor Jason will cross.

A moment later, Ana pokes her head around the door and she looks completely shell shocked.

"Eva" she says.

I am immediately on my feet and heading towards her, "Ana what's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head and takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen where Jason is sitting at the table his hands folded in front of him.

"Tell Eva what you have just told me, because this impacts on Gideon as well" Ana says, her voice is breaking with emotion and I worry about what on earth could be the cause of this.

Jason sighs, "I really didn't want to do this yet, but Jez was insistent that I approached the subject, as his mother is adamant she wants to say something".

He stops and I am confused, Jez? His mother? What on earth is going on here?

I sit down next to Ana and wait for Jason to continue.

He looks at me and begins to explain, "On the last day of the trial after the verdict Jez turned up at the court".

I remember that day and Ana does as well as she nods.

"He had been to see his mother, and she had disclosed some information which she wanted to pass on to Mr Grey, she said it was only fair that he knew after everything he had done for her. She said she had been sworn to secrecy years previously, but when it became apparent to her who Mr Grey was, she felt he needed to know the truth".

He stops and rubs his forehead with his hand.

"Jez said that his father used to work for Geoffrey Cross – Gideon's father, he was one of the people who blew the whistle on Geoffrey Cross for his illegal money dealings".

I lean back and gasp and Jason looks at me kindly.

"Gideon is fully aware of Jez's background. Anyway, apparently Geoffrey Cross had a brother – Joel Cross, who was equally corrupt and equally lacking in morals. He was a businessman in Detroit and Jez's mother claims, that she has evidence that proves he is Mr Grey's biological father, and she wants him to know this. I have to say; that neither Jez or I believe this could possibly be the case, as it's just too unbelievable and Jez has seen the evidence and although compelling he thinks it is pretty tenuous, but his mother is adamant that she wants Mr Grey to know".

It is like the world has stopped turning at this moment, I stare at Jason and then at Ana, this is unbelievable I have no idea what to say, just when we thought everything was out in the open and laid to rest this comes out of the blue.

"Is she sure?" is all I can think of to say.

Jason nods, "She is adamant, I have no idea how to approach this with the boss, I have tried to put it off as long as I can, but Jez says his mother is determined to tell Mr Grey the truth – she thinks she is doing him a favour, but I really can't see Mr Grey seeing it like that, and we need to prepare him for this, which is why I have chosen today, while Mr Grey is out of the way to bring it up to see how we can go about it".

I feel so sorry for both Jason and Ana at this moment, the door opens and Gail joins us.

"I'm sorry we kept this from you" she says to Ana, "and that Jason confided in me about something which he really shouldn't be discussing" she adds.

Ana shakes her head, "No, you are both like family, and I can see the awkward position Jason was in, its fine," Ana says.

I am worried about her at this moment she seems to have gone into shock.

"Ana are you ok?" I ask.

She looks at me and smiles, "I'm fine honestly, I'm just trying to figure out how to break this to Christian, and how he is going to take it, and then we have Gideon to think of and how he will take it, he says he views Christian as family, well if this is true it might appear that he actually is and who knows what effect that will have on him," she says.

This revelation has put somewhat of a dampener on our day and we spend the rest of our time alone before our husbands return, figuring out how we are going to break this shock to them. In the end it is decided we will sit them down together and tell them both at the same time.

I feel sorry for Jason being put in this position, he and Jez have both been put in an unenviable situation by Jez's mum. She obviously means well, but doesn't realise who she is dealing with. We tidy up and wait for our husbands to return. We have decided not to ask them to come back early as this break was meant to be a time for them to bond with our fathers, enjoy themselves and act their ages. So, we are going to let them have this time before we drop the bombshell on them.

_Meanwhile down by the river..._

**(CHRISTIAN)**

"Will you look at that?!"

I look over and see Victor hauling a huge fish out of the river, he looks extremely pleased with himself and Gideon is beaming, he is enjoying this.

Our naturally competitive natures came to play and we decided to turn today into a small competition. So Gideon teamed up with Victor and Ray and I are together and we are seeing who can catch the most fish.

As it stands at the moment, we are being trounced by Gideon and Victor, they have caught three to our one and Ray caught that.

"Have patience son," Ray says with an amused grin, "softly softly catchy monkey" he adds.

"I don't want to catch a god damn monkey I want a fish!" I say petulantly.

Gideon bursts out laughing at this.

I turn and see Luke with an amused expression on his face as he quietly stands with his own rod a few feet away.

"What about you Sawyer how many fish have you caught?" I shout.

Luke glances down into his container, "Enough" he answers with a grin.

I carefully walk over and my jaw drops as I see about seven fish in his container.

"It's no wonder we're struggling Ray, these fuckers are taking all the god damned fish!"

Ray laughs once again.

"How many does Luke have?" Gideon asks.

"About seven" I reply.

"Impressive!" Gideon shouts and Luke beams back at him.

"Ok Christian, come on son lets go down here a bit see if we can improve our chances". Ray says calmly.

Ray helps me collect my rods and we wade a little farther upstream, this is rather difficult for me and Ray is watching me carefully as I struggle walking I am leaning heavily on my crutch, I wonder if I would've been better bringing both but then I would've had more things to carry.

As we are walking away from the others Ray turns to me and speaks, "Thank you for inviting me I have really enjoyed myself this weekend" he says.

I stare at him in surprise, "Ray you don't have to thank me for anything" I say.

"You are a good man Christian, that's all I will say" Ray says and with that he falls silent and looks around.

"We'll stop here, are you ok son?" he asks as I sort myself out, I nod at him and assure him I am and then he hands my rods and we begin to fish.

"GREY!"

I hear my name being bellowed and turn to see Gideon taunting me with another fish which team Cross have caught, I laugh and shake my head as Gideon tosses it into his container.

"MAKE THE MOST OF IT CROSS - YOUR WINNING STREAK IS ABOUT TO END" I jeer.

The move upstream was a good idea and within minutes we are catching fish regularly. I make a point of rubbing in our change in fortune at every possible opportunity, Ray is a machine he is an outstanding fisherman and his years of experience are showing.

I thought I was good at this but he is awe inspiring to watch, as he catches fish after fish.

I glance at Luke and see he has stopped fishing and is on his phone, fear immediately streaks through me and I wonder if Ana is alright. I was not at all happy yesterday when she insisted on going hunting, we had 'discussed' it at length before we left and she had safe worded on me three times, two yellow's and a red, because she said I was being over bearing and totally irrational.

I have to confess when I saw how good she was I was shocked and incredibly proud of her, but that doesn't detract from the fact I can't stand guns and I really didn't enjoy yesterday's activity. Despite that though, seeing my wife hunting, well… it made me hard, watching her stalking through the countryside and comprehensively out hunting Gideon and Victor was the biggest turn on I have had in a long while.

My worry about her participating while being pregnant never left me though, although Ray assured me that if he didn't think she should have joined us he would have put a stop to it as he tried to reassure me she would be fine and no harm would come to her or my baby.

"Everything ok Luke?" I call anxiously as he pushes his phone into his pocket.

He glances up at me and for a moment I see an expression on his face I can't place, it looks like sympathy, but it's soon gone and he answers confidently.

"Everything is fine sir, I was just checking in with T. Mrs Grey and Mrs Cross are watching films and eating chips and popcorn, Gail has joined them and T is feeling like a spare part".

I nod relieved that all appears to be well, but I can't shake the feeling something is going on, since the trial ended everything should be relaxed and calm but I can't help but think something is happening.

Every time my thoughts take this turn I try and dismiss it, it is only because so much has happened, it's been one thing after another it's only natural to assume the worst, well it is for me. I have to stop this, I have to look forward positively now, there is nothing more which could possibly happen.

By the time we decide to call it a day, Ray and I win the fishing contest by two fish and Victor concedes defeat in a gentlemanly fashion, whereas Gideon cries foul and demands a rematch. We are all in high spirits as we return to the pick up with our haul. Ray glances at Luke's container of fish, and speaks up.

"You know by rights Luke here won, he was fishing alone and he caught as many as Gideon and Victor did as a team".

Luke goes bright red, "Thank you Mr Steele, but the difference is I wasn't competing," he says.

"No I won't have it" I shout in an obnoxiously loud voice, "I declare Luke Sawyer the winner and as he is my employee that makes Team Grey the undisputable champions," I grin widely at my childish logic and Gideon and Victor burst out laughing, while Ray and Luke just shake their heads.

"I think we have been shafted Gideon," Victor says.

"Yeah, you have to watch Grey, he spins everything to his advantage," Gideon teases.

We arrive back at the house and I leave the haul of fish with Carmella she stares at the fish and shouts Gail to help her, Gail appears and her mouth drops open.

"Are there any fish left in that river?" she asks.

I laugh at the comment "A few" I reply flippantly.

"Where's Ana?" I ask, I watch as Gail's face darkens for a moment but she recovers quickly.

"Mrs Grey and Mrs Cross are in the small sitting room sir" she says politely.

I frown at her reaction, "Is something wrong Gail?" I ask.

Gail shakes her head, "I don't think so sir" she replies evasively.

I am immediately on alert and go in search of Gideon, I find him helping Luke put the fishing equipment away.

"There you are, where did you disappear to?" Gideon asks with a grin.

"Something's wrong" I say with no preamble, Gideon's face drops and I look at Luke and he too has that same dark expression I saw on Gail's face.

"What the fuck is going on?" I ask him sharply.

Before he can answer the door opens and Ana appears.

"Here you are, did you have a good time?" she asks as she presses a kiss to my cheek, I immediately calm down. My eyes rake over her, she seems to be ok no sign of injury or anything, I start to think it is my imagination, but then she takes my hand and rubs her other hand up and down my arm and I am immediately on alert again, she always does this when she tells me something which she knows is going to upset me or when she is trying to reassure me.

"Ana what's wrong?" I ask.

She touches my face, "Christian, can you and Gideon come into the small sitting room please" she asks in a small voice.

It is clear she isn't going to say anything here, but she has something she needs to tell me and its something which she thinks I won't like, so I nod and obediently follow her. As she opens the door Eva is standing there and she walks up to Gideon and wraps her arms around him.

Gideon looks at me questioningly as he pulls Eva close. He looks down at her and kisses her forehead.

"What's going on Angel?" he asks her.

"Just... come with us, please" Eva replies.

All sorts of scenarios are going through my mind at this point, it can't be anything to do with the baby or Eva's pregnancy because they both look healthy and well and at this moment so I am at a loss to know what on earth could be the matter.

When we reach the sitting room I notice the sofas have been rearranged and Eva gestures for Gideon to sit down and she sits beside him and Ana and I take the sofa opposite.

"What's all this about Eva?" Gideon asks but Eva remains silent.

As we sit there the door opens and Jason enters and sits quietly in the corner, now I am really worried, if Jason is in on this or if Ana thinks she needs him here. I am trying to keep calm but it's getting harder by the minute, then Ana finally opens her mouth to speak.

"Christian, we have something to tell you, it's something which has totally come out of left field and not on our radar at all, but if it's true it not only affects you but also affects Gideon".

She pauses, whatever this is she is finding it hard so I sit quietly determined to give her time to tell me, she thinks I'm going to react badly so I need to prepare myself.

Ana grips my hand tightly as she continues to speak and as she does so I see Eva grasp Gideon's hand.

"Jason came to me today with some information which Jez told him about, he has been sitting on it for a few weeks as he wasn't sure how you would take it and after everything that we all have been through he thought it was unfair to dump this on you as well".

She pauses and lets me take that in, I nod in understanding I am with her so far, I glance at Gideon and he is just waiting for the next bit of the story.

Ana takes a deep breath, "You know Marjory Hamilton - Jez's mom, well she seems to think she knows something about you, which she wants to tell you" she stops and looks carefully at me.

I am totally confused but remain silent even though every part of me is screaming at her to just tell me.

Ana shuffles closer and grips my hand tightly and she takes a deep breath, "Christian, Mrs Hamilton seems to think she knows the identity of your birth father" she stops and I let those words sink in.

I shake my head furiously. No she can't, that's ridiculous what the fuck? How does this affect Gideon? What does he have to do with this other than he previously employed Jez? I stop myself from jumping to my feet and exclaiming the thoughts which are running through my head at this moment as Ana continues to explain.

"Her late husband used to work for Gideon's father, and he was one of the people who turned him in. Well, it appears that Geoffrey Cross – Gideon's father, had a brother called Joel who was a businessman in Detroit. Joel Cross wasn't a good person and Mrs Hamilton seems to believe that she has evidence which proves that he is your biological father. She has sat on this for years, but she also believes that she is doing the right thing now by telling you, she thinks it is only right you know the truth because of everything that you have done for her. She wants to see you in person Christian and she wants to talk to you and tell you what she knows".

Ana stops speaking and I can't process this I just can't believe it. I stare at Gideon who is looking dumb founded.

"Gideon. Are you ok?" I whisper to him.

He shakes his head slowly, "I don't know" he says simply.

I stand up I suddenly and grab my crutch, I feel claustrophobic.

"Christian?" Ana says warily and she reaches for my hand.

I hold up my hand, "I need some air" I say more sharply than I intended.

Ana nods, she is watching carefully. I look around at the people in this room, people who care about me and I can't bear to look at them at this moment.

"It can't be, what the fuck, it's not right, it can't be" I am rambling, Ana is reaching for me again but as she touches me I yank my hand out of her touch.

"FUCK THIS" I shout and I stalk out of the room slamming the door behind me.


	58. Chapter 58

CHAPTER 58

**(RAY)**

I am in the kitchen chatting with Luke and Victor, when I hear a commotion. I look up as I hear my son in law cursing. I stand and poke my head out of the door to see him slamming the door and storming into another room and slamming that door so hard the house shakes.

A moment later he emerges looking absolutely dreadful with a decanter of bourbon in one hand and his crutch in the other and without a word he leaves the house and disappears into the garden again slamming the door behind him. I look at Victor who shrugs and then at Luke who has a resigned look on his face, and I immediately know he has some idea of what has gone on.

"Do you know what that was about Luke?" I ask him quietly.

He nods, "I have a fair idea, but I really can't say anything" he says.

I nod, "Well in that case I will find out for myself" I say.

Victor stands and accompanies me into the small sitting room. As I open the door I see Annie crying, being comforted by Gail and Jason and I also see Gideon looking just as ill as Christian did and being comforted by Eva.

"Annie?" I whisper, she looks up at me.

"Oh Daddy" she moans and I immediately walk across the room to her and crouch in front of her, she rests her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her shoulder.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask to no-one in particular as I look around the room; Victor has settled himself next to Gideon and Eva and is staring at Gideon with obvious concern.

Gideon looks at me and sighs heavily, "You really couldn't make this shit up! It appears that someone has come forward claiming to know the identity of Christian's biological father, and it appears that if that person is correct then Christian's father would be my Uncle" he says flatly.

I close my eyes and shake my head sadly, hell is there anything else that is going to be thrown at that kid? Just when everything seemed to be sorted and it looked as though they could settle, kick back and look forward to the future the past rears its ugly head yet again and throws them another curveball.

"I see, and from the shouting and slamming of doors, I take it that Christian didn't take the news too well" I say.

Annie sobs harder and clings to me, and then she goes to stand up. "I need to find him" she says.

I shake my head at her, "You stay here Annie, I'll go and find him" I say quietly.

If he upset and volatile and is working his way through that decanter of bourbon she needs to stay the hell away for now. I rise to my feet and turn to leave, as I go I look at Gideon.

"Are you alright son, this must have been a shock for you as well?" I say.

He nods, "Just a bit Ray, but I'm going to get my team on this, discover the truth and find out the facts; Christian deserves that much, we both do" he says.

I smile at him and nod. This poor kid has had his fair share of shit flung at him through his life as well and he appears to have turned to his tried and tested coping mechanism of going into his CEO mode of organisation and demanding answers.

I pat his shoulder as I leave the room, Jason follows me and quickly outlines what happened and he tells me his regrets at not speaking up sooner and getting Ana to tell him. He assures me that the decisions he made, were done with the best intentions and I believe him. Jason Taylor is a top man and he cares about his employer more than he would ever admit.

I head out of the door I saw Christian leave through moments earlier and it leads me out into a large open area. I look around in the failing light and I spot him sitting under a tree with the now empty decanter and his crutch beside him and he has his head on his folded arms resting on his knees. I walk over to him and sit down beside him.

"Do you really think getting drunk is going help?" I ask him.

He looks up at me and shakes his head, "No, but it made me feel better for about ten seconds. Can't I just get one little fucking break" he says. I look at him he isn't totally stone drunk but he's not sober either.

He then realises who he is talking to and I see fear on his face, it seems to sober him up a bit.

"Ana? Shit, is she ok? What's happened is she alright? I shouted at her and left her, it's not her fault I need to tell her I'm sorry" he gasps.

He tries to stand but I put my hand on his arm and stop him.

"She's fine, she's upset and she's worried about you, they all are which is why I've come out to find you".

He snorts, "Because you're not!" he says.

I shake my head at him "Yes son I am, so enough with the pity party. I like you Christian - hell I've grown to love you like my own, but I am also going to tell you straight, that you have to stop behaving like this".

He turns and looks at me in surprise, I'm guessing not many people have ever spoken to him like this.

"I know where Ana gets her forthright attitude from now," he murmurs.

I smile at the mention of my little girl but then I return to the matter in hand.

"At this moment she is crying her eyes out, worried sick that you are going to do something stupid, do you think she needs that sort of stress?"

I know it's a low blow playing on his insecurities about the baby but it works, it makes him pull himself together and come out fighting. I watch as he processes what I say, I see fear and then self loathing on his face and then anger settles there.

"What the fuck was Taylor thinking? Why didn't he come to me himself, rather than burden my wife and Eva with this, they are both pregnant for fucks sake they don't need this, I'm going to have his balls for this".

I smile, "There he is!" I say.

Christian looks at me in surprise.

"They didn't tell you because they all care about you. Jason has been tying himself in knots wondering what to do for the best, he has been sitting on it for as long as he could and when it became apparent you needed to know they all thought it would be best coming from Ana because they know the calming effect she has on you. They all knew that if Jason had told you this, your reaction would have been ten times worse".

I watch as he thinks about this and I plough on.

"Christian, what is so upsetting about this for you?" I ask.

He shrugs, "I don't know, it was just a fucking shock. I never in a million years expected that, my biological father, sperm donor what ever you want to call him was an issue I had come to terms with years ago. I had accepted that it was something I would never know, and I was fine with that fact. I assumed it was one of the crack whore's 'clients'," he spits the word clients with distain.

"Now, just as I was thinking everything in my past was sorted and I was beginning to get my shit together – 28 fucking years I have been on this planet, and its only in this last year I have come to terms with everything that has happened to me and thought I had laid it all to rest, all of it every last bit and that is because of your daughter and the chance of a normal regular life she has offered me, but my fucked up past always has to fight back and come up with something else to screw it up but I won't let it - Grace is my mother and Carrick is my father" he says firmly.

"Not only that it's now fucking up my best friends head as well" he adds bitterly.

I shake my head, Christian has planted the blame for everything squarely on his shoulders, and where in reality, there is no blame to apportion.

I sigh, "Christian, how is any of this your fault?" I ask gently.

I see him think about it and when he realises he can't answer that, I continue to speak to him.

"Christian, you didn't ask to be born, you didn't ask to have that sick shit Garrett abuse you, you didn't ask to be molested when you were a teenager. Everything bad which has happened in your life has been because of other people's choices and decisions and this latest thing is one of them, but in this case it is an old lady who genuinely thinks she is doing the right thing. An old lady who would probably be dead by now if you hadn't stepped in and arranged help for her and is grateful that you did, and so in her mind she is repaying your kindness and generosity. She isn't doing this out of malice she is doing it because she thinks you deserve to know the truth". I wait a moment and watch as he thinks about that.

"Carrick Grey is my father" he says stubbornly.

I smile at him, "Yes, he is. You look upon Carrick and Grace as your parents and Elliot and Mia as your siblings and that is right and proper because they are your family, just as I look upon Annie as my baby girl but again there is no blood bond there. The only person who you share a blood bond with at this moment in time is that baby Annie is carrying, and if I were you because of that baby, I'd go and speak to that old lady and get as much information as you can. Check it out and find out the truth and turn it into a positive, this isn't information just for you, this is for future generations this gives your baby information about where they came from as well as you, and hell if it is true it gives you another blood relation, no, two more blood relations".

Christian is staring at me in confusion.

"It would make Gideon your cousin, and therefore the baby Eva is carrying also your cousin" I explain.

"Gideon looks upon you and Ana as family, wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if you both actually were family?" I say.

I watch as he considers this, he doesn't say anything so I plough on.

"I know this may all sound strange coming from me, after all as I say I have no biological tie to Annie but she is my daughter and I defy anyone to say otherwise, but the difference is Annie also knows who her biological father was and she has that information to pass on to her child in the future, but that doesn't stop me being her dad, no more than this will stop Carrick being your dad. It will just give you knowledge and you know better than anyone that knowledge is power, you will know where you come from should god forbid, any genealogical issues arise with your children in the future".

I stop speaking and let everything I have just said sink in.

"You talk a lot of sense Ray" Christian says eventually.

I nod, "Yeah I know I do, it's a gift" I say with a grin and I bump shoulders with him.

I get up and I pick up Christian's crutch and then hold my hand out my hand to him, "Come on lets go and get you sobered up" I say and after I have handed him his crutch I pick up the discarded decanter.

We walk back to the house in silence, as I reach for the door handle Christian stops me, "Thank you Ray" he says quietly, and I pat his shoulder.

"You're welcome son" I say.

We head inside and he goes to the kitchen and runs some cold water over his face. I hand him a towel and he rubs his face.

"I need to find my wife" he says sadly.

I nod at him, "I know you do, just promise me you'll think about what I said ok" I say and he nods at me.

The lost look in his eyes is killing me, and I realise now what Annie meant when she told me once that underneath the public persona, and strong ruthless powerful CEO there was a lost frightened little boy, and I believe that today I have just seen the _real _Christian Grey for the first time.

I watch him leave the room and as I wonder what to do next the door opens and Victor walks in.

"How is he?" he asks.

I shrug, "He's in shock, and he's lashing out, but when he stops and thinks about things rationally he'll be fine" I say confidently.

"How's Gideon, it must have been a shock for him too?" I ask.

Victor nods, "Yeah, I left him on the phone demanding that heaven and earth are moved to find out the truth, he seems to have shut down all his emotions on the matter and is just trying to fix things, Eva is with him".

I sit down at the table and Victor joins me.

For a few moments silence falls over us then Victor looks at me, "What was your reaction when Ana took up with Christian?" he asks.

I snort, "It wasn't the best moment, they had a really rocky start, I wasn't keen on him to be truthful, he seemed so cold, aloof and very controlling, he made all the right noises when we first met and for Annie's sake I was civil. A few weeks down the line she told me they had split up as they wanted different things, and to this day I think there was more to it than she told me, but I'm not going to pry. Then she found out she was pregnant, that was a shock I can tell you, she told Christian and the way he reacted, well I wanted to ring his neck, it was about that time she seemed to take up with Gideon".

Victor looks at me in surprise and I nod.

"Yeah, he helped her out when she was in New York and they became quite close for a while, but she always maintained they were just friends, and there was always something there between her and Christian, and so it didn't surprise me when they got back together and worked things out, then she went through all that shit last year and lost the baby, I thought that would finish them, but it seemed to make them stronger, and then the next thing I know he wants to marry her. As time has gone on he's grown on me. Annie always defends him, saying he's a good man and I've seen enough evidence of that to satisfy myself that she's right" I stop and Victor nods.

"I'm still not sure about Gideon, he's damned hard to read, it makes me wonder what he has to hide" he says.

"He's a good man too" I say "I had the chance to meet with him and talk to him when he and Annie were spending time together. If I'm honest he always struck me as more down to earth than Christian, he was good to Annie when Christian was having a tantrum about the baby – the first time. But any fool can see he is besotted with Eva, I think they are both complicated men, which is hardly surprising considering the shit they have gone through in their lives, but the way I see it is, they both love our daughters more than life itself and will do anything for them and for all their faults, a father can't ask more than that for his little girl can he?"

Victor nods, "No I suppose not, I can't believe this link between Gideon and Christian, you couldn't make this stuff up, who would have thought it eh?"

I let out a little snort, "No, it's like fate is having some kind of sick joke with them, it's ridiculous the amount of links between those four" I say.

Victor looks at me in surprise, "What are you talking about, there is more?" he asks.

I nod, "Do you not know? Its unreal, you really couldn't make this stuff up their lives have been entwined without them even knowing it, for years other people have bound them together with their choices and actions, Annie's mother left me and went off with a guy called Stephen Morton, she took Annie with her when she left and that... man abused my little girl, it turned out he was the step brother/half brother or something of Elena Lincoln, now she was a woman who sexually abused Christian when he was a teenager, but it also turned out she was buddies with a guy who abused Gideon when he was a kid, and she and Morton had a kid who worked for Gideon and who helped Elena and Morton kidnap Annie" I say, I look at Victor who is staring at me in shock.

"Shit" he says.

"Quite" I say, "then there were other minor links, Annie had a friend at University, Jose, he got a bit obsessed with her, and the person who warned her about him and what he could be like was an ex girlfriend of Jose's who also happened to know Gideon, and it turns out I was in the same Army unit as Jason Taylor – Christian's security guy albeit a few years apart.

"Really?!" he says.

I nod, "Yeah then there was Annie's mother – Annie told me that you had heard of her antics when she went to California after Annie came home to me".

Victor nods and I carry on "then there was that link between that sick bastard Nathan Barker who was Eva's step brother for a while and Christian's little sister Mia" I say.

"What are you talking about?" Victor asks.

I stare at him and my heart sinks, Annie mentioned this to me after she had shot the guy in case it got into the press about what she had done and she had told me all about who he was and what he was.

There is no way I can wriggle out of this so I tell Victor what I know, "Nathan Barker was Eva's step brother," I say and Victor nods, "Well he was by all accounts a sick and nasty piece of work, when they were kids he and his family lived in Bellevue near the Grey's, well apparently one day Nathan was at the Grey's place and Christian found him sexually abusing his kid sister Mia when she was about 8 or 9, Christian would have been about 15 years old and he beat him to a pulp" I pause not knowing if I should carry on with what else Annie told me.

"Erm, and you know about what he did to Eva don't you?" I ask carefully.

Victor looks at me and shakes his head and I go cold. "Shit I'm so sorry Victor, I assumed you knew, Annie told me because of what happened in that club they were at" I stop. I rub my forehead, hell how do you tell a man his daughter got raped.

"What club?" Victor asks.

"He came on to Eva and Annie and it all ended badly when Annie stamped on his balls and shot him in the wrist, she was protecting Eva and everything she did was in self defence as he was trying to feel her up and when he was being taken away he took one of the security guards guns" I say.

Victor nods "And what happened between Nathan Barker and my daughter to necessitate Ana having to protect her?" Victor asks coldly.

"Shit, you need to talk to Eva about this Victor I've said too much as it is, hell I thought you knew I swear to god I thought you knew" I stop.

Victor can see this is distressing me and he looks at me carefully, "Its ok Ray just tell me, I don't blame you".

I shake my head, "He raped her". I stop as I see the desolation and shock on Victors face, and it is killing me, I go to the cupboard and pull out a glass and fill it with water and put it in front of him although I am convinced he would prefer something stronger at this moment.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks after a moment.

I nod sadly, "Annie told me, he found Eva in New York and one night when Eva and Annie were at a club in New York shortly after Christian and Annie married he cornered them, and Annie protected Eva from him as she was petrified at seeing him again, Annie put herself between him and Eva and he tried to touch her, so she took him down, and when he was being taken away he tried to grab a gun from someone who was taking him away and Annie saw him and grabbed Raul's gun and shot him. He was taken to hospital but released the next day, but he was found dead in his hotel room later that day, he had been stabbed – turns out it was some Russian guy he had crossed who killed him in the end. Annie told me all about him because of what she had done to him and she knew if it got in the press about what she had done I'd worry so she told me what she'd done and in the process she told me the back story of his history with Eva, and when Eva told them about him, Christian realised it was the same person he had beaten up when he was a kid".

I am rambling and repeating myself and I know it, I am trying to justify how I can know these intimate things about his daughter when he has no idea.

"I swear to god Victor I have never breathed a word to anyone, I only mentioned it tonight because I honestly thought you knew".

I stand up, "Look I'll go and find Eva I think you need to talk to her" I say.

Victor nods but doesn't move, I squeeze his shoulder as I walk past him. I go out of the kitchen and I spot Eva and I call out to her.

"Eva" I call.

She smiles at me and walks over, "Hi Ray" she says, but her smile fades when she sees my face.

"I'm so sorry Eva, your dad is in the kitchen and you need to go and talk to him, I said something which I thought he knew about and he needs to talk to you about it" I say.

"What?" she asks.

"Nathan" I say and her hand goes to her mouth in shock.

"Oh my god no" she gasps, I see her start to tremble and I feel dreadful. I wrap my arm around her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Eva I thought he knew, we were talking about the links between you four and it just came up and I swear to god I didn't know that he didn't know, I thought he'd know, I'm so sorry Eva" I am practically begging.

Eva, god bless her, manages a small weak smile, even though it is clear she is on the verge of collapse.

"It's not your fault Ray, I'll go and talk to my dad now" she says and she gives me a brief shaky hug and then disappears into the kitchen.

**(TAYLOR)**

Well I can't believe the turmoil in this house at the moment, the boss is totally devastated by the news about his potential biological father which I knew he would be. I'm not sure what Ray said to him but when he came back in he went straight to Ana and they went up to their room and haven't been seen since.

Gideon was gutted too, he is following form and taking charge and organising everyone and everything – he was last seen on his phone demanding answers, in fact he has spent the rest of the evening on the phone talking to Raul and getting his team on this, and generally wanting to fix everything.

I'm pretty sure that something else which wasn't on my radar has happened, I'm not sure what went on, but after Ray came in with Christian he was talking with Victor in the kitchen and then he came out looking really upset and spoke to Eva and then Eva went into the kitchen and she was in there ages with her dad and there was what sounded like crying. Gideon went to look for Eva and he, Eva and Victor are still in the kitchen.

Luke has been overseeing things from the security room but the atmosphere in here tonight is not the best and I don't know about Luke or Gail but I just want to get back to Seattle.

I walk into the security room.

"What's the latest Lukey?" I ask.

He is staring at the security cameras intently.

"Well, the boss and Ana are off the radar now, they were talking for ages in the small sitting room after the boss returned with Ray and then they went up to their bedroom so I can guess what they are doing now even though there are no cameras in that room!"

He smiles but I'm not in the mood and shake my head, "Don't Luke not tonight, he was destroyed by that news, you didn't see his face when Ana told him, if that's his way of coping with it then let him get on with it".

Luke's smile fades "Sorry T" he says quietly.

"What about the others?" I ask.

Luke points at the kitchen security feed, I see Mr Reyes, Eva and Gideon, they all look upset and they appear to be in deep conversation about something, something tells me its not about the revelations tonight as the way Gideon is looking at Eva and how upset Mr Reyes looks I would lay money on it being something else – and if it is its none of our business.

"Give them some privacy Luke, turn off the feed I know we can't hear anything but we shouldn't be watching this, we have the outside feed so it won't compromise security to turn it off while they are in there".

He nods and taps something into the keyboard and immediately the camera in the kitchen is switched off.

"The boss didn't take it too well then?" Luke asks.

"That's the understatement of the year, actually he took it pretty much as I expected him to, I have no idea what Ray said to him though, as he came back in like a lamb".

"I like Ray" Luke says.

I nod, "yeah so do I, he talks sense and doesn't mess about, he's a good man and Ana is lucky she had his influence in her life!"

We sit there for a while longer then we hear the door opening quietly I turn and see Gideon standing there with Mr Reyes. I immediately stand and give them my undivided attention.

"Jason, Victor and I are heading down to Christian's gym if that's ok, we are going to have a work out, do a bit of sparring, if Christian want to know where we have gone".

I nod my head, "Very good sir, I'll let him know if he asks" I say.

"How is he?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I don't know sir, he came in with Mr Steele and went straight to find Mrs Grey then they talked for a while and then went up to their room" I say.

Gideon nods, "Well if he comes out just tell him, Victor and I both have some issues we need to work through at the moment and this seems to be the best way".

I look at him, there is sadness in his tone "Excuse me sir, are you alright?" I ask carefully.

He nods, "I'm fine, it was a shock but I'm focussing on the positives now, I have looked upon Christian as almost a brother for a while now, so if it turns out he is actually related to me in some way then that can only be a good thing for both of us and we are not to blame for what my fucked up uncle did, if it turns out he was Christian's father," he shrugs and I nod in agreement.

"Mr Reyes is upset about something as well?" I push gently.

Gideon nods; "yes he is" he says but doesn't elaborate further.

He pauses for a moment, "Do we know where Ray is?" he asks.

I look at Luke questioningly.

"He's in the small sitting room with your wife sir, and he doesn't look very happy either" Luke says after studying the feed.

Gideon nods, "I'll go and talk to him, perhaps he could join us in the gym" he says and with that he is gone.

I look at Luke and he shrugs, "Some serious shit went down here tonight T" he says.

"Didn't it just" I reply.

_Earlier In the kitchen..._

**(EVA)**

I hesitantly open the kitchen door and my heart breaks when I see my daddy sitting looking absolutely devastated.

"Daddy?" I whisper as tears are starting to burn my eyes.

"Eva, why didn't you tell me?" he gasps.

I move towards him and he stands and holds his arms open to me and I walk into them and dissolve into tears.

"I'm sorry daddy, I just didn't want you infected by him, he had managed to infect every other aspect of my life and destroyed my relationship with my mother I didn't want that to happen to us, I wanted someone in my life who didn't know what had happened and who wasn't affected by it".

"Ray knew" my dad says quietly.

"I know he did, well you see I told Ana, as you are probably aware by now we have all experienced things we shouldn't have, Ana's step father abused her, Gideon was... raped when he was a child and Christian well... the things that poor man endured as a toddler and then when that sick woman got her claws into him when he was a teenager..."

I stop, shaking my head, "well we all support each other we talked and discussed our experiences and its helped us all, and when Nathan reappeared it all came out about him as I was so petrified when I saw him, then he confronted us at that club and Ana stood up to him – well she had to tell Ray what happened and why she did what she did in case the press got hold of the fact she had shot a guy in a club, and she obviously told him the reasons why, Ray isn't just anyone though, don't be mad at him, as he would assume you knew".

My dad shakes his head, "No I'm not mad at him, the poor guy was mortified when he realised I had no idea, I'll talk to him later make things ok with him".

My dad pauses and then holds me closer. "Eva tell me everything tell me what he did to you".

I shake my head and cry harder, "No, I don't want to relive it not now, I fought so hard to be the person I am now, I don't want to go back I'm a different person now, I'm happily married and I'm expecting a baby... my first baby, a baby which was conceived with love not a product of rape" I touch my bump as I say this.

My dad looks at me at first horrified by the implications of what I said but he swallows hard, he is gripping me tightly a bit too tightly if I am honest but I don't say anything.

"That animal got you pregnant, how old were you?" he asks in a tight voice.

"Fourteen" I whisper, "Please daddy don't it's over it's finished, please don't make me relive it all I'm still the same person I was this morning" I stop and look up at him begging him to see my point of view.

I see the anguish in his eyes and written all over his face, but he nods at me, "Ok sweetheart I won't push you, in some ways I'm sorry that fucker is dead because I can't go after him myself and inflict some justice on him. At this moment I'm just feeling... hell I have no idea how I feel, I want to hit someone and hurt them until they feel as bad as I do" he says sadly.

"Perhaps I could help you with that," we turn and see Gideon standing just inside the door.

"Gideon" I gasp and leave my fathers arms and go to him he folds me into his arms and I feel better as soon as I feel him against me.

Gideon walks us back towards my father, "I am feeling pretty antsy at the moment and I am going to go to the gym, Eva said you are into martial arts we could perhaps do a little sparring together release what's eating us?"

My dad nods enthusiastically "I'd like that thank you Gideon" he says.

Gideon turns his attention to me, "Are you ok Angel?" he asks anxiously.

I nod "I am actually, it was a shock when Ray told me, but now its out there, as long as it doesn't affect what I have with my daddy, well I came to terms with it a long time ago, Nathan is dead, he can't hurt me anymore and I don't want what he did to affect the people I love".

I look at my dad when I say this.

"Your mother should have told me," he says stubbornly.

I shake my head, "mom was drowning in guilt and I could have got her to agree to anything at that time, and I asked her not to tell you" I stop and shrug, "I'm sorry I did that daddy, she wanted to tell you but I practically blackmailed her not to" I say.

"Daddy as I have just said and it is the honest truth - I am still the same person I was this morning when you didn't know, and before everything else that has happened to today happened, what I went through was bad, undoubtedly, but its ancient history now, our thoughts and energy should be concentrated on what Gideon and Christian are going through at this very moment in time" I say.

I feel Gideon pull me closer, "God I love you so much" he whispers in my ear.

My dad considers my words and reluctantly nods.

"Ok" he concedes, and turns to Gideon, "Are you up for a bit of a work out then?" he asks.

Gideon nods, "Sure, I'll let Taylor know we are heading down to Christian's gym".

"I'll go and find Ray and talk to him, let him know everything is ok" I say.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I walk with Ray back to the house, I feel ridiculous now for my outburst and my overwhelming thought at this moment is of my wife, Ana is always at the forefront of my mind but at this moment I just have a need to be with her, apologise once again for my appalling behaviour and reassure her. Ray has made me see sense and see the positives in this.

I open the sitting room door and she is sitting with Gail, her eyes are puffy and red and I feel guilty for making her feel bad. Gail looks at me and diplomatically retreats from the room.

"Thanks Gail" I say as she passes me, and I am surprised when she reaches out and touches my hand.

I go and sit next to Ana and I reach out and grasp her hand.

"Ana baby, I'm so sorry" I say.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Christian she says and smiles at me.

I nod, "yes I do baby, I have upset and worried you and stressed you, I behaved badly and I swore I'd never walk out on you again and what did I do, I did just that".

I look at her and she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close.

"Christian you were hit with something shocking which you weren't expecting, it threw you and you reacted to it. You have nothing to apologise for honestly, I'm just glad you are feeling ok now".

I stop and stare at her, my wonderful wife who forgives me so much.

"You are wonderful you do know that don't you?" I say.

"Yeah" she says with a giggle and it makes me smile that she can make a joke of this.

"Ray came out and talked some sense into me" I say.

"Did he?" she asks.

I nod, "yeah he said I should look at the positives from this, after all I consider Gideon family and he says that he considers me family too, and if it turns out we are actually related, well that can only be a good thing can't it?"

Ana nods but she doesn't say anything so I continue, "also he made a good point that it would be good information to have for the baby".

I put my hand on Ana's stomach as I say this.

"I mean we could find out if there are any genealogical issues our child could face in the future, and Ray said it would be nice for our child to know their genealogical history". I watch as Ana nods in agreement.

"That's true, I look on Ray as my daddy but I know where I came from and I think it's important for everyone to know that," she looks at me and I know she is referring to me as well as our baby.

"It's not something I had ever considered, I just always assumed it was one of the crack whore's clients and it would be something I would never know, I had come to terms with that fact and concentrated on the fact that Carrick and Grace were my parents, now there is a chance I could find out the truth... I don't know if I really want to know, but I will go and speak to Mrs Hamilton, Ray made me see she thinks she doing a good thing and its not meant with malice, but done with good intentions".

I look at Ana carefully, "Would you come with me baby, when I go to see her?" I ask.

She smiles at me, "Of course I will, and I think Gideon should be there too, as this does affect him?" she says.

I nod, "definitely" I say.

I watch and Ana looks at me carefully, "Are you really ok about this now?" she asks.

I think for a moment, "I think so" I say. I look at Ana, "Are you ok? I can't believe Taylor put this on you to tell me" I say.

Ana puts her finger on my lips and shakes her head.

"No, he told me what was happening and we agreed that it would be best coming from me, so don't get blaming Jason, just think of the situation he was in, he found this out the last day of the trial when Jez came to the court and he cared about you enough to sit on it because he thought you had been through enough, but apparently Mrs Hamilton is getting adamant that she wants to talk to you so he knew he had to tell you, but Jason cares about you more than you realise" she says.

I think about that for a moment and I realise I do feel grateful for Taylor for sparing me as long as he did. Ana looks at me and touches my shoulders.

"You are so tense still, lets go upstairs and I'll give you a massage".

I stare at her in panic I have never had a massage before and I'm not sure if I could tolerate that, she seems to see my concerns and fear.

"Just your shoulders and neck and then if you feel you could take some more well... we can take it from there" she says.

I think about it and suddenly I want his more than I have ever wanted anything in my life before.

"Ok" I say and I stand and grab my crutch, then I offer my other hand to Ana.

"Baby I really don't know what I'd do without you, you are my world you know that don't you?" I say quietly.

She pulls me close and stands on tiptoe and kisses me, but doesn't say a word, she doesn't have to, I just know. I take her by the hand and lead her to our room.

When we get inside I strip off my t shirt and lie down on the bed face down, Ana gets some lotion and straddles my back, I take a deep breath and she starts to gently massage my shoulders, it feels so good I can feel all the tension melting away out of my body I close my eyes and savour the sensation, I am enjoying this, but I know that nobody else could do this to me but Ana.

I moan as she continues then I feel her bending over me and she kisses my shoulders I moan again and I am getting really turned on.

"Baby I want to turn over and I don't want to hurt you, can you climb off" I say.

Ana obliges me and as I turn over she moves to the side of me, I grab her and pull her on top of me and kiss her wildly, then I roll again and I have her underneath me, I move my hands over her body pushing up her top.

"Oh baby" I moan.

"Christian I was supposed to be giving you a massage" She says looking up at me.

"I think I like this better" I say as I busy myself with her breasts.

I feel her move her hands down between us and she pushes one hand into my jeans and then grasps me, I gasp and I reach down and help her by unfastening my jeans. I am desperate to be inside her and as she continues to caress me I feel more and more desperate for her, until I can't stand it any longer, I move down her body and gently strip her, I feel her shiver and I stand up and remove my jeans and boxers.

"Oh Ana" I moan as I cover her body with small kisses and work my way down to my goal, she is so ready for me and I can't stand it any longer, I move myself so I am ready to enter her and I look her in the eye.

"Look at me baby, keep your eyes on me I want to see you" I whisper.

She nods and as she stares at me I thrust deeply inside her, she gasps and I still.

"Ok?" I ask her, I am worry that I'm going to hurt her, she nods and pulls me closer. That's all I need and I begin to move.

**(EVA)**

Gideon and my dad have gone to Christian's gym to work out, and I go in search of Ray, I find him alone in the sitting room he has a glass of something in front of him and he looks shattered.

"Hi Ray" I say as I walk towards him, he lifts his head up and looks at me warily.

"Don't feel bad Ray, I don't blame you, nobody does, if anything you did me a favour" I stop and smile at him.

"I swear to god Eva I thought he knew" he says.

"Ray please, it's not your fault, please don't beat yourself up about this, my dad isn't angry, it was just a shock" I say.

He nods, "Ok" he says, he is looking marginally better about it, I am about to say something else when the door opens and Gideon walks in accompanied by my father.

"Ray, we are heading down to the gym to have a work out, would you like to join us?" my father asks kindly.

I see Ray relax and the tension which was around his eyes and thrumming through his body is now dissipating.

He nods, "I'd love to" he says and stands he walks over to my father and shakes his hand warmly.

"Don't worry about it Ray, you weren't to know, Eva has explained everything and while I don't like what happened there is nothing I can do about it, and that is what is eating me now, so I am going to get into that gym and exercise and work things out that way". My dad says with a smile.

Gideon turns to me, "Are you coming to watch Angel?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, I'm going to sit here quietly and gather my thoughts," I say.

"I'll pop down in a bit" I add, Gideon nods and I watch as they all leave me alone.


	59. Chapter 59

CHAPTER 59

I don't know how long I sit in the sitting room by myself, but I jump when the door opens. I look up and see Christian and Ana coming towards me. Christian looks much happier and more relaxed now and I am glad.

"Hi, where are the others?" he asks looking around.

"Down in your gym, having a work-out" I say.

Christian looks surprised by this, and I let out a small snort.

"Tonight has been a night of revelations, Gideon is affected by this news as well and I think it's shaken him somewhat, as he has comprehensively put a wall up between him and most of his family, so this has forced him to acknowledge that part of his life which he tries so hard to ignore, and then my dad also got a bit of news tonight and he didn't take too well, and that has also affected Gideon," I say, and Christian looks at me sympathetically.

"Why, what happened?" he asks.

I sigh as I recall the totally gutted look my dad gave me when I first saw him after he had found out about Nathan.

"My dad was talking with Ray after you two came back in and they were discussing all the links between us all, after the revelations of tonight, because this link has the potential to be huge, and during that it came up in conversation about what happened with Nathan, to me and the way he also tried it on with Mia" I say.

Christian looks surprised, and then I see guilt and shame fill his face. "Oh I see, Eva I'm so sorry about this, this is all my fault" he says.

"No it's not!" both Ana and I say in unison, I watch as Ana grasps his hand and shakes her head at him.

"Christian you stop this right now" she says sharply.

I stand up and wrap my arms around Christian and I give him a reassuring squeeze.

"This isn't your fault; I'm actually seeing a lot of positives in this. Gideon considers you and Ana his family so there now actually might be a chance that you really are, as for what happened with my dad well…" I shrug dismissively, "it was only a matter of time, he was going to find out eventually, and I am quite impressed I have managed to keep him in the dark about it this long, the only thing that does worry me though is the part Gideon played in Nathan's death, as I never want that to come out".

Christian shakes his head, "We won't ever speak of that time, and he got what he deserved" he says firmly.

Ana nods in agreement, "he did" she says quietly.

I feel Christian pull away from me and I quickly release him and he turns to Ana, "I think I'll go down and join them in the gym, do you mind baby?" he asks.

Ana shakes her head "No, not at all, you go, I'll be fine here with Eva" she says and with that Christian leaves us alone.

After Christian has left us Ana comes and sits with me.

"I'm sorry my dad did that to you, I'm sure he must have thought Victor knew as he wouldn't do it maliciously," she says quietly.

I shake my head, "From what I can gather they were discussing our husbands and the links between us four and it just came up as one of the links, I know he didn't mean any harm by it, and he assumed my dad knew - which is a reasonable thing to assume, considering I went to live with him afterwards".

"Why didn't you tell your dad what had happened at the time? I mean he's a cop he could have done something?" Ana asks.

I shrug, "My mum was consumed with guilt over it and it turned her into an over protective over bearing stalker, you think Christian suffocates you at times, well he's got nothing on my mom and how she has behaved. I've found tracking devices in my stuff, I've had her calling me about a million times a day when she can't get hold of me, she is a nightmare at times," I say and I shake my head. "She's not so bad now that Nathan is dead and I'm married but she still has her moments," she adds.

Ana smiles sadly at me, "It's better having someone who cares about you rather than someone who doesn't give a damn. I would take Christian's over protectiveness any day over my mother's indifference, she didn't want me unless it suited her, a fact I am only seeing now she's gone," she says.

I look at Ana carefully before I ask my next question, "Are you sad she died, that she's now gone?" I ask.

I see her think for a moment and then she looks at me and slowly shakes her head, I see her hand going to her stomach and touching the small bump there.

"No, I'm not, does that make me a bad person? I said everything I needed to say to her at Christmas when she turned up, plus the fact it appears from what she said in her note, that was found with her body, she killed herself, whether she intended to or whether it was just manipulation and emotional blackmail that went tragically wrong I'll never know, but whatever it was it was unforgivable".

I nod and reach for Ana's hand, "You are not a bad person Ana, you are one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met" I say earnestly.

I watch as she gives me another sad smile, "When I knew I was going to be a mother, my whole outlook on life changed. The first time, I was expecting to do it alone at the beginning, and although I was in no way ready to be a mother, all my maternal instincts kicked in and I knew that, that life inside me came first no matter what, sadly it wasn't to be but all those same feelings are there now again, and whatever happens in my life or to Christian, my baby's wellbeing will come first, and that's something which I never had with my mom. She put herself, her needs and what she wanted first every time".

I stare at my friend, and I can't help myself, I hug her tightly.

"You always have me in your corner, and I think Grace and Gail both seem to have adopted you as their own," I say trying to lighten the atmosphere a little.

Ana nods and returns my hug, "And now Christian is going to find out where he actually came from," she says.

"So, he has agreed to speak to Mrs Hamilton?" I ask.

Ana nods, "He has, and he asked me if I'll go with him, and of course I will and I think he is going to ask Gideon to go as well, because after all this does also affect him" she says.

I nod, "yes, Gideon thought he probably would and he said he wanted to tag along to find out the details, and he said that if Christian didn't ask him he would ask him if he could go".

We sit talking and discussing the implications of this and we both decide that it can only be a good thing.

"Is this Joel Cross still alive?" Ana asks suddenly.

I shrug, "I don't know, Gideon says he vaguely remembers him from when he was a very young child, he said before his dad died, he used to visit and that he liked him. He said he used to play with him, but then from what Gideon remembers Joel had a huge fall out with Geoffrey Cross over something, shortly before it all came out about his dad's crooked deals, and he stopped coming to visit and he never saw him again".

"Oh I see, so he could still be alive and out there somewhere?" Ana says.

I nod, "very possibly" I say.

"Well if the information that Mrs Hamilton comes up with is plausible, Christian is going to want to track him down and find him for a DNA test to find out one way or the other he won't just leave it with knowing half a truth," Ana says.

_Down in the gym..._

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I walk into the gym and I see Ray working on the weights and Gideon and Victor are sparring viciously. There is almost a feral nature to the way they are beating on each other, I know Victor must be hurting, finding out his daughter got raped, that would destroy any man, and I am guessing that Gideon is feeling his helplessness. Victor can't get his revenge, as Gideon already got it for him but he can't tell him so. They are so engrossed in what they are doing they don't even notice me at first as I walk over to Ray who is concentrating on the weights, he looks up as he sees me approach.

"Christian is everything ok now son?" he asks as he pauses and sits up.

I nod, "I'm fine now, thanks Ray, you helped me put everything into perspective, and now I have a clear plan how I am going to proceed," I look over at Victor and Gideon.

"What's going on there?" I ask.

Ray shakes his head sadly, "Vic and I were talking after we got back and conversation got on to all the crazy links between you four, and I mentioned about Nathan and Eva and how he was linked to you with what he tried to do to Mia, I assumed that he knew about Eva, I feel so bad about it now though. He said that it doesn't matter but I just feel bad you know. I think he is working out some of the hurt he is feeling, and as for Gideon, I'm guessing he is feeling bad about what happened with you earlier, as after all it affects him as well," Ray shrugs and goes to return to his weights.

"Spar with me Ray, I obviously can't do any leg work at the moment and I'm a bit of a lame duck all round, but there are some things we can do. Ana said you had taught her self defence so you know the moves, spar with me, show me what you know," I say and hold out my hand gesturing to the mats.

He looks at me and a grin spreads across his face, "You know son there have been a few times where I wished I could kick your ass, are you telling me you are willingly giving me the chance to do just that?" he says.

"What did I do?" I ask looking at him in shock. Then it dawns on me, I'm guessing last year is the main one, when I freaked out about the baby and I put my head down in shame.

"I'm not proud of the man I was then Ray, I behaved badly and yes I do deserve an ass kicking for the way I behaved last year when Ana discovered she was pregnant, which is what I assume you are referring to, but I got my punishment for that, when Ana lost the baby," I say sadly.

I see Ray look at me with compassion, "I know you did son" he says quietly as he goes to say something else I interrupt him as I feel the need to say some more.

"Ray, I wasn't a good man, before I met Ana. I used women for sex, but when I met Ana she changed me, it was slow and I made so many god damned mistakes and she left me, but I managed to win her back and she gave me another chance, which I know I didn't deserve, and I swore to you on our wedding day I wouldn't blow it," I stare at him willing him to believe me.

"Christian, I'm sorry son but I disagree with you - you are a good man, you have always been a good man, but you have had so much shit thrown at you over the years that you just didn't see that good part of yourself. I was yanking your chain about wanting to give you an ass kicking, but Annie is right, you really do only always see the worst in yourself don't you? Let me tell you something son, Annie is a good judge of character, and she wouldn't stay with you if she didn't think there was something worth staying for, so just remember that," he says.

I feel the emotion choking me, "Let's spar" I say hoarsely.

Ray nods and we head over to the mats.

By the time we all leave the gym we are all tired and sweaty but in good spirits. It's amazing what some good training can do, Ray was careful with me and we ended up just boxing as I was unable to participate in anything more but Ray showed me some moves that I am going to try out on Claude when I restart my training again.

Ray and Victor are back to talking like they were before Ray's faux pas and there is no awkwardness lingering and Gideon and I are busy discussing what to do next about the revelations which came out tonight.

"I think I should call Jez and find out what his mother has been saying to him, and find out what she wants to do, I certainly think I should do her the courtesy of hearing her out, but we may be concerned about nothing, and there is nothing in it, but I want to find out one way or the other... primarily for the baby," I say firmly.

Gideon nods, and slaps me on the shoulder, "Well if it does turn out to be true, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for us either, after all it would make us cousins and as I consider you practically a brother anyway. I am closer to you than I am my own brother for god's sake," he stops and stares at me.

I can't help myself I turn and embrace him. "No it wouldn't" I say.

We all head for a shower and then we go in search of Ana and Eva. We find them in the sitting room drinking hot chocolate with Gail. They are looking at baby magazines and picking out nursery furniture that they like. They both look up as we walk in, I notice straight away that Ana's eyes go to Ray and Eva looks at Victor. I glance at Gideon and he raises his eyebrows he too had noticed this fact. As soon as they have established that everything is good with Ray and Victor their attention returns to us and they stand and walk towards us. Gail gets up to leave, but I put my hand out and stop her.

"Don't leave on our account Gail," I say, "What were you ladies doing?" I ask looking at the magazines strewn over the coffee table.

"Just looking at baby things" Ana replies flippantly, "Eva was showing me the nursery furniture she wanted," she adds.

I sense Ana tensing a little as she says this, and I hold her tightly and kiss her forehead. I am guessing she is a little reluctant to pick anything out as yet for our baby as she doesn't want to jinx it, she is coming up to the time of her pregnancy where she lost our son in a few weeks and I have noticed her demeanour change subtly recently whenever the baby is discussed in relation to buying things for him... or her. I am guessing Gail has noticed this as well which is why she made herself available for moral support. Another reason why I don't want her to feel she should leave now we have all arrived.

Eva excitedly shows Gideon the furniture she has settled on that she likes and Gideon glances at it and just nods in agreement. She flings her arms around his neck and kisses him thanking him. I can tell he doesn't have the first idea of what he has just agreed to buy, but as far as he is concerned Eva is happy and that is the main thing.

"Have you seen anything you like baby?" I ask carefully.

Ana shakes her head, "No, it's too soon," she says abruptly.

Bingo! I was right, I hold her tighter and kiss her again.

"That's fine baby, whenever you are ready" I whisper in her ear. I feel her relax at my words and she squeezes me.

"Thank you" she replies.

_Three weeks later – In New York_

**(GIDEON)**

I am sitting in my office taking a moment staring at the beautiful picture in front of me. Eva and I went for a 3D scan this morning and I saw my daughter – she is absolutely beautiful. I am in awe of this tiny little baby growing in my wife's belly not to mention in awe of my wife for giving me this precious gift.

My thoughts are interrupted by my intercom, and I hear Scott's voice ringing out in my office.

"Mr Cross – Mr Vidal Senior is here to see you," I pause and then ask him to show him in.

My office door opens and Chris stands there smiling at me. I can't believe how close we have become recently and how quickly our relationship has flourished. I also can't believe my mother kept him in the dark for all those years, I had been so sure she had told him and he had not believed me either. I'm genuinely sorry that me getting my closure, has meant the end of his marriage to my mother, when it became apparent that she only apologised and acknowledged her guilt to get him to return to her, but he left her anyway. She is now alone, she is now in the position I was in for years, alienated by her own family.

Christopher has been in therapy since everything came out, he was shocked when he heard about the full extent of everything that happened and he is slowly realising and coming to terms with the fact that I am not the enemy he once thought I was.

It's going to be a long path, after all he has hated me all his life but now he is working through the reasons. He hasn't explained any of them to me but I don't expect him to, we are not close enough for that, but having said that for the first time in our lives we seem to have a tentative relationship blossoming. It's still very early days and we are unsure of each other but the fact we can now be in the same room and stay civil is huge progress. I am still closer to Christian than I am Christopher but it's a start and one I am actually willing to encourage.

I smile as I remember Ana and Eva's feistiness which brought all this about, and how furious Christian and I were when we found out what they had done. Now of course we have nothing but grateful thanks that they went to the lengths they did for me.

Chris walks towards me and I stand, I am still holding the picture I was given, and his eyes travel towards it in my hand.

"Eva and I went for a 3D scan this morning and we got this," I explain as I offer the picture to him. He takes it from me and looks at it.

"She's beautiful Gideon," he says.

"She is," I say.

"She looks like you," he adds as he smiles and hands me the photograph back.

I asked him to come here this morning and I know he is wondering what I want as I have never actually asked him for anything before and I am surprised to realise how hard this is for me.

I go to sit down and gesture towards the seat in front of my desk then quickly change my mind and I usher us over to the sofa instead. I look down at my hands, shit why is this so fucking hard?

"Gideon what's wrong?" he asks carefully, as he tentatively puts out his hand and touches my arm.

"I was wondering... if you don't mind... I was wondering if... if you don't want to it doesn't matter but..." I know that I am rambling, I pause and Chris jumps in.

"Whatever you want to ask me, just ask," Chris says gently.

I look up at him and see nothing but compassion in his face and all the words come out in a rush. "Would you come with me to Seattle, when Christian and I go to speak to Marjory Hamilton? Christian wants me to be there for him and I want to know the details too for myself, Eva is coming but I'd really like you there too as a bit of moral support... if you don't mind? If you don't want to though I will understand," I say.

Chris smiles and holds up his hand to silence me, "Shut up Gideon, and stop talking. Of course I will, I am honoured you have asked me, I thought you'd ask Angus?" he says slowly.

I nod, "Angus will be there in the capacity of security to find out the details – I had thought of taking Raul but Angus felt a better choice, after consideration".

Chris takes a moment to really look at me and I can feel his eyes boring into me. "This has really knocked you sideways hasn't it?" he asks carefully and he leans forward towards me as he says it.

I think for a moment and then nod, "I won't deny it was a shock, there are so many fucking links between Christian, Ana, and myself that it's ridiculous, but this was never ever on my radar, but this isn't about me though, this is for Christian, to find out where he came from".

"Do you remember anything about your Uncle Joel and your father, after all you were very young when he died?" Chris asks carefully.

I sigh as I trawl my memory, "I vaguely remember my Uncle Joel, he used to visit us quite often when my father was alive and he used to play with me in the back yard, he would toss baseballs for me to catch, that's the only vivid memory I have of him, then I remember this one time he had this blazing row with my father. I remember it because it was so unexpected but they were really going at it, then he left and I never saw him again, it was shortly before it all came out about my dad's crooked deals, so in a way it was the first part of that entire period of loss, when my whole world imploded, my uncle went, my father went, then my mother moved on and I was…" I trail off and then I stop and quickly pull myself together.

"Anyway, Raul is trying to try and track him down as I don't know if he is alive or dead, as Christian will want DNA confirmation of any information we get. Having said that, I have said that I will offer my DNA. After all if my uncle is his father the link will be there showing us to be cousins and if we can't track him down or it turns out he is dead, my DNA will be the next best thing. Over the years I have discovered that Uncle Joel wasn't the best human being in the world – he was a womaniser and although he was a brilliant businessman he was flawed, and had some pretty significant faults. But if he is Christian's father, it would explain where Christian got his business brain from, as Joel was outstanding in that aspect of his life" I say.

"Do you have any pictures of him?" Chris asks.

I shake my head, "No, whether or not my mother has some I don't know, but after my father died she seemed to want to rid herself of everything to do with him and the Cross family, including me, so I don't know".

I watch as Chris looks at me sympathetically.

"I'll go and ask her for you if you like, it would be interesting to see if there is any resemblance between him and Christian. You so obviously resemble your mother with your black hair and blue eyes, there doesn't appear to be much of Geoffrey Cross in you, so it would be interesting to see if Christian resembles Joel Cross".

"Would you do that for me?" I ask.

"Of course I would Gideon, I like Christian and he deserves the chance to see who his possible father is, and you have been denied your paternal family all your life, which is wrong," he says.

We talk a while longer and then he gets up to leave, he has agreed to fly out to Seattle with us at the end of the week for the meeting with Marjory Hamilton and he is going to see my mother today to try and see if there are any photographs or anything which we can look at. I go to shake his hand as he stands to leave, and he looks at me carefully and as he takes my hand he pulls me close into a warm embrace. I hesitate for a moment before I accept it and wrap my arm around his shoulder.

**oooOOOooo**

Later that day I am back at the Penthouse with Eva, I watch her indulgently as she is planning the layout of the nursery. She is in her element deciding what she wants and where she wants it. I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is progressing, it is the first of April tomorrow and my angel is nearly 6 months pregnant, the way the time is going I may have to abandon my plans of taking her away before the baby is born, as it will soon be unwise for her to fly, and the safety of my wife and daughter is paramount.

I am drawn from my thoughts when I hear the intercom buzz.

Eva looks at me and I quickly go and answer it.

"Cross" I say abruptly and I hear the polite voice of Edward one of the staff who mans the desk downstairs.

"Hello Sir but I have a Mr Vidal Senior here to see you".

"Thank you, show him up" I say in a slightly softer tone.

"Certainly Sir," comes the response.

I hang up and return to Eva, "Chris is here to see me, will you be ok while I talk to him?" I ask.

Eva turns and nods at me, "Sure, I'm nearly done now anyway," she says.

A moment later I hear the front door and I go to answer it.

I open the front door and Chris is waiting, he is holding what appears to be a photograph album and my heart lurches as I lay eyes on it.

"I got this for you from your mother," he says as he offers it to me, I swallow hard and take it from him.

"Come in" I say and I step aside to let him in.

I sit down and he takes a seat beside me as I open the album. The flood of memories hits me as I see the photographs and I gasp.

"That is my father" I say as I point to a photograph of a younger me and my father building sandcastles on a beach. Chris leans in and looks.

"Well he has a reddish tinge to his hair, not quite as copper as Christian but if his brother has the same hair colour that is a point to consider," he says.

I nod, I am staring that the picture and the memories of that day are filling my mind, that was the last time I was happy when I was a child.

I point at the photograph, "This was the last holiday we went on, it was shortly after this that my father had his fall out with his brother and then all his illegal deals came out," I say.

I turn the page and I see a photograph of my mother standing between my father and Uncle Joel. They all look relaxed and happy as they pose with their arms around each other.

"That's him, that's Uncle Joel," I say pointing at the photograph, Chris looks and his eyebrows rise.

"Well looking at that, I would say that is very persuasive. Look at that copper hair and those piercing grey eyes, he doesn't resemble Christian in looks, but those eyes and the hair colouring are very familiar," he says.

I nod, I feel Eva come up behind me, "Who's that?" she asks as she leans down and wraps her arms around my neck.

I point, "My mother, my father and my Uncle Joel" I say.

"Does he remind you of anyone?" I ask as my finger lingers on Joel.

"Shit" she says as she looks, "That copper hair and those eyes, his face is a different shape and nose and mouth are different, but Christian could have inherited those traits from his birth mother, but that hair and those eyes – its uncanny," she says as she continues to study the photograph.

"They were very alike weren't they? Your uncle and your dad" she says.

I nod, "They were, in more ways than one. Neither of them were very good people," I say bitterly.

"Looking at this you can see exactly what parts you inherited from the Cross side and what you inherited from your mother, it's fascinating to look at," she says.

She comes and sits down she looks at me carefully and then point at the figures in the photograph.

"You have your mother's hair colouring and eyes, but your jaw line, nose and mouth are all Cross" she says with a grin.

She pats my face, and then kisses me.

"Thank you for letting me see this, can we get some copies of these before you have to give it back?" she asks.

I nod, "if you want to" I say dismissively.

Eva smiles at me, "Gideon whether you like it or not this is your family, and therefore it is our child's family, it would be nice to have a record of their ancestry to show them as they get older," she says.

I nod, "Pick whatever you want and I'll get the copies done, when does my mother want this back?" I ask Chris.

"She said you can keep it as long as you like," he says.

"We'll take it with us to Seattle so Christian can see them," I say and Eva nods, still engrossed in the photographs.


	60. Chapter 60

CHAPTER 60

_A few days later – At Sea Tac, Seattle…_

**(CHRISTIAN)**

It is early morning and I am at Seattle airport waiting for Gideon's jet to arrive. Taylor is with me, Ana is not with me, I left her at home sleeping. I am worried about her, she has started having nightmares about losing the baby, we are rapidly coming up to the point in the pregnancy where she lost our son and it is obviously playing on her mind and I blame myself, after all, I have constantly put my fears of her losing this baby on to her throughout the pregnancy, it's no wonder now the point the miscarriage happened is approaching she is getting jittery.

She refuses to even consider buying anything for the baby yet – that's not a problem, but her superstitions seem to be getting out of control. Both Gail and my mother have tried to talk to her about it she won't discuss it. I have spoken to John and asked his advice and he just said to patient with her and be there for her and support her, which of course is a given. We are going for our check up at the hospital later this morning and I am hoping to speak to Dr Green about this and see if she can give me some pointers.

I am drawn from my thoughts as my attention moves to the huge Cross Industries jet taxiing to a halt.

I climb out of the Audi and wait as the steps are brought over. Then slowly I head to the bottom of the steps and wait as the doors open, when I see my best friend in the world and potential cousin appear in the doorway, a smile automatically fills my face. He catches sight of me and raises his hand in greeting. I watch as he, Eva (who is getting bigger by the day) and Angus make their way down the steps, I glance towards the doorway once more as I see another figure emerge, and am surprised to see Chris Vidal.

"Christian, how the devil are you?" Gideon exclaims as he embraces me and slaps me on the back. I return the warm greeting.

"I'm well, you?" I ask.

Gideon smiles, "I'm good" he says firmly. I watch as he gestures toward Chris, "I asked Chris to accompany us, you don't mind do you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Not at all" I say.

I know this affected Gideon more than he is letting on and I am pleased to see he is leaning on Chris more now and allowing him into his life".

"You are looking well Eva" I say as I turn my attention to her, I reach out and hug her and press a polite kiss on her cheek.

"I'm feeling huge" she grumbles, "If I hadn't seen the scan with my own eyes, I would be thinking I was carrying a baby elephant around," she adds.

"That 3D scan was amazing, thank you for sharing it with me" I say as I remember the picture Gideon had text me.

We make our way to our house on the sound. Everyone is staying here with us rather than at their apartment in Seattle. When we arrive Ana is up and dressed and in the kitchen drinking a mug of tea.

"Hi," I whisper in her ear as I kiss her.

"Hi" she replies. She looks past me towards Gideon and Eva and her face breaks into a huge smile.

"Hi guys," she says as she stands up and walks over to Eva hugging her.

"Look at you, where has that suddenly come from?!" she exclaims as she looks at Eva's belly.

Eva laughs and pats her bump, "I know I'm a whale, it just appeared! It popped out suddenly in the past day or so".

But she smiles as she looks at Ana carefully, and points, "But look at you too, you are catching me up, that wasn't there when we were in Aspen," she says with a grin.

I watch as Ana's hand goes immediately to her own stomach, but she doesn't say anything for a moment.

"We are going for a check up in a short while at the hospital" she says quietly after a moment.

Gideon nods, "yes I know, while you and Christian are gone, we are going over the plan for tomorrow's visit with Taylor and Jez" he says. He pauses and then looks at Ana carefully, "Are you finding out the baby's sex today?" he asks carefully.

Ana looks at me but doesn't say anything. So I quickly step in, "I would like to, but I think we'll play it by ear when we get there," I say diplomatically.

Gideon and I head towards my study with Taylor and Angus and wait for Jez to arrive.

"Is Ana ok?" Gideon asks me quietly, once we are alone.

I shake my head, "I'm worried about her, we are coming up to the point in the pregnancy where she lost our son and I think its playing on her mind, she refuses to buy anything and she has started having nightmares about the miscarriage. I am trying to be supportive and understanding but I am so out of my depth, I don't know what to say or do for the best," I shake my head sadly.

Gideon looks sympathetically at me, "I have no idea what to say either, I don't know if Eva could give you any pointers," he suggests.

Almost as if saying her name conjured her up Eva walks into my study with a concerned expression on her face.

"Christian, what's going on with Ana? She has gone to get ready for the hospital appointment, but it's almost like she is just going through the motions" she looks at me questioningly and I sit down with a thud and tell her everything that has been happening and how I am at a loss to know what to do for the best.

Eva listens and then sits down next to me.

"Ana is a strong woman, exceptionally strong, but everyone has their breaking point and if you ask me I think Ana has reached hers. Look at what she has dealt with in the last year, you met her, you pursued her and you started a relationship, you do something stupid – your words and she leaves you, you stalk and harass her trying to get her back…"

I open my mouth to protest but she holds up her hand to stop me.

"Wait I've not finished" she says, so I shut my mouth again.

"While you are harassing and stalking her she has to deal with Jack's unwelcome advances in her job, and she meets Gideon, she finds out she is pregnant, and you freak out about it and she has Elena come and have a go at her about it. She goes to New York with Gideon and starts a new job, you two get back together and then she gets kidnapped by her former step father who it turns out is linked with Elena and she almost gets raped by him and assaulted by Elena, bearing in mind she is pregnant while this is happening so she is scared for her child as well as herself. She comes back to Seattle with you and relocates with her job; her father is in an accident which nearly kills him only it turns out that her friend from college who she looked upon as family and Jack Hyde are the ones responsible for it. She loses her baby, then you two marry – which was lovely by the way, the way you did that as a surprise for her," Eva pauses and smiles at the memory.

"Where was I? oh yes, then she has to endure the trial of Elena and Morton, then my past gets involved and she becomes involved with that, when Marcus Kline tries to cash on my relationship with his brother, using Ana in process. Nathan appeared and she dealt with him – very well I might add, then just when we think things are looking up, Tony Garrett appears and you go into a tailspin over it – which was totally understandable, then there was the Charlie Tango crash and all the stress and shit related to that. She discovers she is pregnant again while running herself ragged taking care of you and getting you back on your feet, all the while her mother keeps dropping in and out her life causing trouble and stirring things up and upsetting her, Ana deals with that only to have her mother kill herself and blame Ana for it in her suicide note. Then you ram down her throat at every possible opportunity that she is not to get stressed and you try to protect her from getting stressed and ironically in doing so suffocate her and make her even more stressed than if you had just left well alone".

I open my mouth again to protest and once again she holds her hand up.

"I'm not having a go Christian but you were overbearing and acting like an asshole, then there was the Charlie Tango trial and when that is finished, and we all think thank the fucking lord, we can now look forward to the future there isn't possibly anything else which can upset things or cause any trouble, what happens? Someone comes out the woodwork claiming that they know who your biological father is, and not only that if who the person is, is correct that makes you related to your best friend. You react to this news predictably, in the way you always do, which upsets and worries Ana. So now along with the worry about how you are going to cope with the visit to see Mrs Hamilton and how you are going to react, she is also dealing with the fact that she is coming up to the part of the pregnancy where she lost her first baby and she is fucking terrified that the same thing will happen again, but Ana being Ana doesn't say a damn thing, as she doesn't want to worry you and so she keeps it all to herself as she doesn't want to burden you with that because she knows you have enough on your plate with this latest thing finding out about your father".

Eva stops and looks at me I go to speak again and once again she stops me.

"Now Christian, that is Ana's life this past year in a nutshell, I would say she is way past breaking point and if she wasn't such an exceptionally strong person she would be a fucking basket case by now".

I think about everything that Eva has just said and I close my eyes, I have caused the majority of the issues which have plagued her over the last year, I am to blame for how my wife is feeling. Eva notices my reaction and speaks again.

"Stop it Christian, I'm not fucking blind, I can see what you are doing there. You are blaming yourself - you are not to blame. Shit happens, admittedly you and Ana have had far more than your fair share of shit over the past year, but you didn't ask for any of it and neither did she. So what you have to do is grow a pair and let her lean on you, she has reached breaking point which quite frankly anyone else would have reached far sooner".

There is a deathly quiet in the room, Taylor and Angus fell silent about half way through Eva's monologue and Gideon is staring at his wife with love and awe.

"How...?" I begin and stop.

Eva smiles, "You just need to listen to her Christian. Let her talk, let her tell you how petrified she is, and reassure her," Eva says.

I shake my head, "I try, but she is so committed to helping me with my issues she pushes her own aside and refuses to talk about it and she is a damn stubborn woman if she decides I'm not going to know something," I shake my head again.

I see Eva thinking for a moment, "you are both going to the hospital today, talk to Dr Green tell her how worried you are about Ana – let Ana see you are concerned, and I bet you any money she will open up... oh and another thing, I do know that she is worried that if this baby is a girl you won't be happy".

I stare at her, "What?! Of course I'll be happy, admittedly I'll be fucking terrified of being a father to a little girl but I'll be happy" I splutter.

Eva nods, "Well make sure you get that across loud and clear, especially if you find out the sex of the baby today," she says.

I nod and stand up my head is spinning from everything Eva has said to me, but I need to do this.

"Right I'm going then we'll talk later" I say to Gideon, I turn to Eva, "Thank you" I say quietly to her.

"You're welcome" she replies.

I walk out into the sitting room and Ana is gathering her things and pushing them into her purse she looks up at me as I walk in.

I stop and hold my arms open and she walks into them resting her head on my chest. I press a kiss to her head and bury my nose into her hair and inhale deeply.

"Talk to me baby" I whisper to her, I feel her stiffen and her arms tighten around me.

"I'm fine" she replies.

I sigh and take a deep breath, "No you're not baby, talk to me please, tell me what's going on in your head," I wait for her to say something but she just squeezes me a little tighter.

"Are we going to the hospital then?" she says eventually in an overly bright voice, I feel my heart sinking. Damn it no, she will talk to me.

"No Ana we're not, not until you talk to me and tell me everything that's worrying you, because at this moment in time I am fucking scared," I look her in the eye as I say this and I see her startled response, tears start to ooze from her eyes. I lead her over to the sofa and pull her on to my lap.

"Ana just talk, please, I'm begging you," I say desperately.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I've been having nightmares about the baby, and it sort of got to me a bit, I keep dreaming that I'm going to have another miscarriage and that we are going to lose this baby like I lost our son".

The tears are starting to fall freely now and I don't dare move or say anything she is talking and I don't want her to stop. "I know it's irrational and stupid, but I can't shake it and I'm sorry," she says, she is sobbing now and I hold her tightly to me.

"Ana it's not irrational and it's not stupid and you have no reason to apologise, what you are feeling is perfectly natural and totally reasonable considering what you have been through. You will be fine once we get past the 20 week point you are 19 weeks now, just two more weeks baby and you will see that everything will be fine, we are going to the hospital today and if you want to, we can discuss your worries with Dr Green?"

I watch as she thinks about this and slowly nods, I continue now I have her attention on this and I decide to lay to rest the other worry she has about the baby, one which she hasn't actually mentioned to me.

"We hopefully will find out today if we are having a little boy or a little girl and whatever is growing inside you, I will be ecstatic, because it will be our baby," I pause and kiss her gently once more.

"You have been through so much baby, this last year has been phenomenal the shit you have had to deal with, there are plenty of people who wouldn't still be standing with half of what you have dealt with, and yet you are still hanging in there, standing by my side and supporting me. Well let me support you, talk to me and tell me all your worries," I wait for her to speak.

I hear her sniff and take a deep sigh, "I was just thinking when the trial ended that was it, no more we could finally relax and look forward and then this thing with Gideon's uncle came up, I can't take much more Christian, I really can't" she stops.

"Baby, if you are not ok with this I will cancel the meeting with Mrs Hamilton and we forget it ever happened, you are the most important thing in my life, hell you are my life" I say firmly.

Ana sits up and shakes her head, "No you misunderstand me, I really want to know the truth I'm just worried about how you are going to take it," she says looking at me carefully.

I realise she is expecting me to lose it, but I'm actually quite together about it now I have sorted through it all and processed everything, so I shake my head.

"No I'm in a really positive place about this; I'm not interested in Joel Cross or pursuing any sort of relationship with him. Carrick Grey is my dad. I have spoken to mom and dad about this and talked at length with John, and the only reason I am finding out the truth is for information for our baby, and strangely for my relationship with Gideon, I find that I really want to be his cousin, the idea of having him as my family is appealing, so I'm not going to freak out, I've done that already, when I first got the news, I'm ready now".

I look into my wife's face and she smiles at me. "So, I'm worrying about nothing then" she says with a sniff.

I shrug, "Pretty much" I say flippantly.

She giggles and my heart leaps, that's what I needed to hear. As reach for my crutch and I go to get up she grips my arm to stop me and looks carefully at me, "What is it baby?" I ask.

"What you said about the baby… you will be happy whether it's a boy or a girl?" she asks carefully.

I nod, "I will be happy whatever our baby turns out to be. I won't lie to you, I am fucking terrified at the prospect of being a father to a little girl, and if she is anything like you I know that I will be royally screwed, because I find it so hard to say no to you so imagine what I will be like with a daughter as well!"

Ana smiles at me a relieved and full happy smile, "Thank you Christian" she says quietly.

"No problem baby, now is there anything else you want to tell me before we go?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I'm still nervous I just have this fear something bad is going to happen and I am going to lose this baby" she says sadly.

"Ana, you lost our first baby, it was devastating and one of the worst things that has ever happened to me and to you, but because it happened once does not mean its going to automatically happen again, and you need to stop thinking like that or you are going to drive yourself crazy. I know I'm to blame for how you are feeling, as I have kept ramming into your head my fears about you losing the baby and I'm so sorry for doing that, so what we both need to do is look forward and be positive. We are having a baby, nothing bad is going to happen and in a few months you are going to break my hand and scream abuse at me when you give birth and we are going to be parents and its going to be wonderful, ok?"

I look at her and wait for her reaction to that.

Her face breaks into a huge smile, "Yes, yes we are" she says confidently and adamantly.

She wraps her arms around my neck and presses a kiss to my lips. "I love you so much Christian" she says.

"And I love you too" I reply. "Shall we go then?" I ask tentatively.

Ana nods and slides off my knee, I search her face and I am satisfied with what I see, she looks genuinely much happier now.

When we arrive at the hospital I am on pins and needles. I wasn't lying when I said I'd be ecstatic about whatever the baby turned out to be, but I am petrified at the thought of a little girl, how I am going to cope with the idea of having a daughter. I put the thoughts out of my mind, as the last thing that Ana needs at the moment is my neurosis.

I watch carefully as Dr Green examines Ana, once again she is concerned about Ana's blood pressure so I decide to speak up.

"Ana is having a hard time at the moment" I say.

Dr Green looks at me questioningly and puts her pen down.

"She is having nightmares and is fretting that she is going to lose this baby, like she lost our son. She lost our first baby at 20 weeks and she is now at 19 weeks with this pregnancy and she has convinced herself that something terrible is going to happen this time too, that and all the crap she has had to deal with recently, unrelated to the pregnancy so it's no wonder her blood pressure is elevated".

I stop and Ana is staring at me I reach and grip her hand and continue to speak, "I won't lie Dr Green I am very concerned about her".

Dr Green turns to Ana with compassion on her face. "Mrs Grey, the thoughts, fears and feelings you are having are totally normal for someone who has endured a miscarriage, especially a miscarriage which happens a fair way into a pregnancy. You knew you were having a boy and you had felt the baby moving, and then suddenly it's all gone. It is inconceivable that you wouldn't be affected by that, but just because it did happen doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. We are keeping a close eye on you and your pregnancy because of your history, but that doesn't mean we are convinced it is going to happen again, but we are aware of the past and we want to try and prevent any issues arising which could cause another miscarriage. I have examined you today and as far as I can tell everything is proceeding very well, the baby is a good size and you are generally in good health, apart from your elevated blood pressure. Now this needs to be lowered and we will continue to monitor you to make sure it doesn't get to a point where it could be an issue for you and the baby, and I can't reassure you any more than that".

Ana nods and turns to me, "I'm sorry" she says again.

Dr Green smiles at her, "You have nothing to apologise for Mrs Grey, you are experiencing perfectly normal emotions and fears, which have been elevated due to previous experiences, but as I have already said, because it happened once doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again".

I watch as Ana takes a deep breath and smiles at Dr Green and then turns to me and nods, and at that moment I know she is going to be ok.

We head into the other room for our scan, I take my place beside Ana and grip her hand tightly and watch as Dr Green squirts the gel on Ana's tummy.

"Are we finding out the sex of the baby today?" she asks.

Ana looks at me and I nod, Ana turns to Dr Green "Yes, we'd like to know" she says.

Dr Green nods and starts the scan, I am shocked at how much the baby has grown since the last scan and I lean forward and once again stare in awe at the figure on the screen.

I watch as Dr Green does all the usual checks and measurements and points out the different things they are checking for at this stage. She assures us that all appears to be normal and as it should be then suddenly the baby moves and it looks as though he or she is waving at us, Ana giggles at this and I can't help it I start to laugh and I wave back at the screen a goofy grin on my face.

Ana grips my hand when I do this. Then Dr Green freezes the screen, as it appears she has managed to get the information we want. She looks at us and smiles before she points at the screen.

"There you are" she says as she points, "Congratulations it appears you are having a baby girl".

I feel Ana stiffen and I know she will be watching my reaction to this closely, I don't hesitate, and I wrap my arms around her and kiss her.

"Thank you baby, for giving me a daughter" I whisper in her ear, and immediately I feel her relax.

I turn to Dr Green, "May I have a copy of the recording of today's scan?" I ask, Dr Green looks at me in surprise. "I'd like to share with my family the moment my daughter waved at me," I say with a shrug.

Dr Green smiles and nods at me, "I'm sure that can be arranged for you Mr Grey" she says, as she says this she prints off a picture and hands it to me.

Before we leave Ana disappears into the bathroom and I take the opportunity to make a call, I quickly call Eva as I know she and Gideon will help me.

"Christian, how did it go?" I hear Eva's voice.

I quickly relay my request, "Eva, it went well, listen I don't have long, I want you to call my mother and Elliot, I want everyone waiting for us when we get home, we know the sex of the baby and I want to reassure Ana completely that I am happy, I am getting a recording of the scan today and I want to show everyone, can you arrange that for me? You only need to call Elliot and Mom they will do the rest," I say.

"Of course I will, I take it you having a little girl as well then?" Eva says.

"We are" I say, "But please don't tell anyone," I look up and see Ana approaching, "listen I have to go now, Ana is coming back, thanks Eva, bye" I quickly hang up and walk towards Ana wrapping my arm around her.

"Mr Grey" I turn to see Dr Green walking towards me, she hands me a DVD and smiles.

"Thank you" I say gratefully, "Are you ready baby?" I ask turning my attention back to Ana.

She nods and smiles and we make our way out of the hospital.

**(ANA)**

When we arrive back at home, I am astonished to discover a houseful of people, Carrick and Grace are there and Elliot, Mia and Kate are also there, I look around the room.

"What's this, a welcoming committee?" I ask.

Grace immediately walks towards me and hugs me tightly. "Christian asked Eva to call us and make sure we were all here to hear your news" she says.

I look up at Christian and he has a self satisfied smug look on his face. He pulls the DVD from his pocket and puts it into the player.

Everyone watches the TV as the pictures appear, I smile once again as I recall the scan. Everyone exclaims in delight as the baby 'waves' at us and then the screen freezes at the point where Dr Green told us the baby's sex.

"Everyone let me introduce you to our daughter" Christian says his voice thick with emotion.

The gasps and exclamations go around the room and Grace bursts into tears and hugs me tightly again. Gideon strides toward Christian and slaps him on the back and shakes his hand.

"Congratulations my friend" he says warmly.

I watch Christian's reaction and I am satisfied that he is really as happy as he said about the baby. I realise I was more concerned about this than I had thought. I watch my husband and I come to the realisation that I have to be positive about this and look forward rather than living in the past, I have told Christian this so many times and now I have to take my own advice.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am hoping my actions have convinced Ana of my joy at having a daughter. I am pleased, I am overjoyed that the baby is healthy and things are progressing well, and I am happy with the fact I am having a daughter.

I am still secretly terrified, I have no idea how to be a father to a girl, and all I can think of is the fact how I treated women in the past, and at this moment all that is going through my mind is that if any man treats my daughter the way I treated women I would kill them and not think twice about it and that worries me about how over protective and probably over bearing I am going to be in my obsession with keeping my daughter safe from... from men like me.

I try and push these dark thoughts from my mind. I'm being stupid and I'm over reacting, I have years before I even have to face the idea of any of that. I am going to be a father and I am going to have a daughter, someone who I can give the world to, someone who will rely on me to raise her right and keep her safe. That is the thought I need to concentrate on and be the best god damn father there is. I look at Gideon, he confided in me he had similar fears, I will talk to him alone later, he will understand and hopefully we can support each other with this journey into the unknown.

Everyone eventually leaves and it's just Eva and Gideon who remain, I watch as Ana go to the pile of magazines I bought, to try and get her to commit to buying something for the baby, and my heart leaps.

"Eva, will you help me choose some furniture for the nursery?" she asks.

I beam at my wife and at Eva who gives me a quick glance.

"Sure, let's go and spend all Christian's money!" she says with a grin.

Ana giggles at this, "I am only buying furniture for this baby, not for every baby in the United States" she retorts.

I watch as my wife and Eva disappear with the magazines chatting happily.

Gideon walks up and puts his hand on my shoulder, "You did well my friend, now, how do you really feel?" he asks.

I turn, "I'm fucking terrified," I say bluntly.

Gideon nods, "Join the club, I feel so out of my depth with this its unreal, I am overjoyed at the prospect of becoming a father, it's something I have always dreamed of – you know having my own family somewhere to belong to, and I am still coming to terms with the fact that my dream is coming true, but the idea of having a daughter fills me with blind panic".

I nod "that is exactly how I feel, I want this baby and I am so happy with the prospect of becoming a father, but... a girl!" I say and shake my head.

Gideon nods, "I think for me it's because I am such a piss poor example of a man, I've treated women diabolically over the years, and the idea that someone like me will be sniffing around my little girl in a few years, well… it makes me physically ill".

I nod, "You are saying exactly what I have been thinking" I say. "The only thing I can think of is to put these thoughts out of our mind until we have to face them, our daughters aren't even born yet we are talking about things which won't be an issue for at least 16/17 years" I say.

Gideon snorts, "My daughter isn't dating until she's thirty," he says.

I laugh, "As much as I agree with you, I think if we took that stance, our daughters will never forgive us".

"It's going to be one steep learning curve that's for sure," Gideon says soberly.

I nod in agreement, "we will have to compare notes and help each other" I say.

Gideon nods, "it's the best thing that could have happened if you think about it, we will have each other to lean on for support and we will be able to talk to each other about our fears and worries," he says.

We talk a while longer and then the conversation turns to the visit to see Mrs Hamilton.

I look at Gideon, "How is all this affecting you, really?" I ask carefully.

Gideon shrugs, "I have never felt part of a family I have always been alone, getting through life by myself relying on myself. But then I met Ana and she made me realise I _could_ let people in, which I did with you and Ana, and for the first time I had true close friends, who I considered akin to family. Then Eva came along as well, and I started to dare to dream of scenarios which I had never even considered before, and now here I am - I am married and I'm going to be a father. Not only that but my amazing wife has helped to improve my relationship with my step father and sister she has even helped to get a tentative relationship blossoming between myself and my brother Christopher, which I assumed was always a lost cause and now on top of that I could be extending my family further including my best friend who could be my cousin, I didn't realise how much that idea appealed to me, after I had got over the initial shock – I want this more than anything" he says.

"So do I" I say quietly. "I said much the same thing to Ana" I add.

"Really?" Gideon asks his eyebrows raised.

I nod, "Yes, I have my family, Grace and Carrick are my parents and I don't even think about the crack whore in any parental context. I have Elliot and Mia as my siblings, but since I married Ana and now I am to become a father, the idea of having family who are actually related to me by blood is an attractive idea. It gives my child a sense of identity, an idea of where they came from, but also the idea of being related to you isn't so terrible," I nudge Gideon with my shoulder as I say this and he laughs.

"Right back at you, Grey! Can you believe it though? A year ago we obviously knew _of_ each other, through business and the fact we both feature prominently on the Forbes list, but the idea we could actually be related, and be family, it's just absurd," he says.

I snort, "I think all that has happened this past year could qualify as absurd, its inconceivable the links and the situations we have found ourselves in," I say.

"It's been a hell of a ride" Gideon says.

We hear the door open and Chris walks in with Angus and Taylor and they all have grim expressions on their faces, I sigh and brace myself. What the fuck? Now what?

"What is it?" I ask.

Taylor steps forward and speaks, "We managed to track down Joel Cross, sir, unfortunately he passed away a couple of years ago in a car accident," he says carefully.

I look at Gideon "I'm sorry for your loss" I say to him quietly and he nods at me, I turn to Taylor, "and?" I ask somewhat more abruptly than I had anticipated.

Taylor looks at me in surprise.

I sigh "Look Taylor, I never knew the man so I have no point of reference on how I should feel. I have this vague notion that he _may_ be my biological father which he now cannot confirm or deny, which is regrettable but if the evidence Mrs Hamilton produces is compelling enough I'm sure Gideon wouldn't mind providing a DNA sample to confirm a link?" I glance at my friend and he nods.

"Of course I already said I will," he replies.

"There you go" I say, "Now the person requiring your sympathy is Gideon, not me - he actually knew the man, he was his uncle for god's sake and he has memories of him from when he was a child".

I turn and look at my friend anxiously "Are you ok?" I ask.

Gideon smiles at me, "Yes I am, it was a long time ago," he replies confidently.

I see the relief on the faces of the men in front of me and I am certain they were expecting me to react differently to this news, but I am quite pragmatic about the whole thing now, and determined not to react negatively whatever the outcome.

"Are we going to discuss the visit tomorrow? I ask looking around.

The three men sit down and we start to go over the plans, I tell them that I intend to fly down in Charlie Tango II. This immediately brought a stunned silence from Taylor and I cringe, how could I have been so stupid?

"On second thoughts, we could take the jet" I offer immediately backtracking.

Taylor shakes his head, "No sir, I'm fine I don't have any problem flying with you, I have full confidence in your flying skills, I'm just thinking Mrs Grey might not be so keen on the idea," he says.

I scrub my hands over my face, it will be the first time I fly a helicopter since the crash, it's a different one considering Charlie Tango was beyond economic repair, but she is bound to be concerned about this and the last thing I want to do is put any more worry on her.

"We'll take the jet," I say firmly.

We finish discussing the plan for the next day as we are finishing up the door opens and Ana and Eva appear. Ana is beaming and clutching a magazine in her hand looking very pleased with herself.

"Hi," she whispers as she climbs on to my lap.

"Hi baby, have you been having fun spending our money?" I ask as I wrap my arms around her.

She nods at me, and I gently pull the magazine from her hand, "What did you choose?" I ask.

Ana quickly points out the nursery furniture she likes and I can't help but notice she has picked the cheapest in the book.

I look at her, "These are what you really want?" I ask carefully.

She nods enthusiastically, "They are, they are lovely, simple and they are the ones I like the best" she says.

"Also they are made of the same wood which Ray generally uses, and he said he is going to make us a crib – also, this furniture, the style is very similar to what Ray makes," She explains.

I realise at this moment she has put a great deal of thought into this, "Ok then, whatever you want - consider them bought" I say.

Ana kisses my cheek and thanks me and my heart nearly bursts with love for her. If that had been me, I would have picked the most expensive and probably least practical furniture available.

"Baby, we are discussing the plans for tomorrow" I say.

Ana turns and looks at me and I know I have her complete attention.

"Well we are going to fly down to Scappoose in the jet and..." I stop as she interrupts me.

"Why are you taking the jet? Surely the new helicopter would be more practical?" she says looking at me in confusion.

I shake my head and can't help but smile as I pull her closer.

"What?" she asks in confusion at my reaction.

"Nothing baby, it's just I initially thought about flying us down in Charlie Tango II but then thought you probably wouldn't be uncomfortable with that idea, and so I decided to go with the jet instead".

Ana smiles at me, "I will be with you, I would have worried about it if you were flying alone, but I will be right there with you," she says simply.

"Good point well made, as always Mrs Grey," I say.

I continue telling her the plans and when I have finished I also tell her the news that Joel Cross is dead.

"So, if Mrs Hamilton's story is compelling enough, Gideon has agreed to provide DNA to confirm the link, I am going to speak to my mother to set up a test for us when we have finished in Oregon that way we should get the results back swiftly, and we will know for sure if I now have cousin _and _who my father was," I say.

Ana nods her understanding and then looks at Gideon who is sitting with Eva holding her hand.

"I'm sorry for your loss Gideon" she says and Gideon just smiles back at her and thanks her quietly.


	61. Chapter 61

CHAPTER 61

The flight down to Scappoose goes without a hitch and we are all soon en route to Marjory Hamilton's house. She has been warned that there are a few of us coming and Jez assured us that she is not fazed by this fact. I was a little concerned about the amount of people turning up on her doorstep after all she is still a sick woman.

When we arrive we are met by Jez. He shakes my hand and invites us in, it has been decided that Taylor, Angus and Chris will wait outside while Gideon, Ana, Eva and I will accompany Jez in to actually meet with and talk with Marjory.

I watch as Jez enters the room, "Mom, Mr Grey and his wife are here to see you, and Mr Cross and his wife are also here," he says.

I walk in and watch an elderly lady struggle to her feet.

"Don't get up," I say as I walk towards her and take her outstretched hand in mine.

"Oh look at you! You are the image of Ella," the old woman says as she looks closely at me, this throws me slightly and I just smile politely and withdraw my hand.

I feel Ana rub my arm and I reach for her hand.

"Please sit down," Mrs Hamilton says quietly, then she turns to Jez who is standing in the corner watching. "Jeremy go and fetch some tea for our guests," she adds.

I watch as Jez nods and then vanishes, then she turns her attention to Gideon, "and you must be Geoff's boy?" she says and Gideon simply nods as he reaches forward to shake her hand.

"I am" he replies.

A few moments later Jez returns with a tray filled with mugs of tea, Mrs Hamilton glares at him. "Jeremy for goodness sake – mugs!?" she says, and I hear Eva stifle a giggle and we all smile at this.

"Mugs are fine Mrs Hamilton," I say with a grin as I take one from the tray.

Jez looks at me gratefully and then immediately does the official introductions, "Mom this is Christian Grey and this is his wife Ana, and Gideon Cross and his wife Eva" he says, "Everyone this is my mom, Marjory Hamilton".

I can tell Jez is on edge about this, and I don't say anything about the pointless introduction. Mrs Hamilton looks at her son and smiles.

"Sit down Jeremy you are making the place look untidy," she says and I have to stifle another laugh.

I lift my hand to cover my amused smirk, but that smile fades though, when she turns her attention to me and holds out her hand, I reach out and she grasps my hand tightly.

"First of all I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, I won't lie the grim reaper was knocking on my door, but you have given me a second chance and for that I am eternally grateful to you".

I try to say it doesn't matter but she holds up her hand to silence me.

"Please, don't brush off what you have done, you didn't have to do a damn thing, but you did and that shows you have a good heart," I feel Ana squeeze my hand.

I don't say anything but I feel more than slightly embarrassed by her words.

"Anyway, let's get down to the reason you are all here, Jeremy hand me that box," she points to a box which Jez stands and fetches and hands to his mother.

"I'll start with explaining who I am, and how I know what I know," she says looking closely at me.

I nod and wait for her to continue, I really like this forthright lady.

"My late husband, Henry Hamilton, worked for the Cross brothers as their security advisor, I assume much like the role my Jeremy has with you and previously had with Gideon".

I nod to confirm that assumption and Mrs Hamilton quickly continue.

"Joel and Geoff were not good men," she says bluntly.

She hesitates a moment glancing at Gideon before she continues.

"They were selfish and greedy and they took what they wanted and didn't stop to consider the consequences of their actions. They were also very wealthy and that wealth made them arrogant and entitled and they used that wealth to try and bury their sins, but what they failed to realise was, they may have erased them from their lives but their actions lived on for other people. My husband was always being called upon to help cover up whatever had happened, and the latest thing they had both done which was always morally bankrupt as well as being legally and sometimes criminally wrong – with Geoff it was always some crooked money making scheme, but with Joel it was always something to do with women, he just couldn't keep it in his pants… and sometimes let's just say he was deaf to the word _no_ a lot of the time" she pauses and shakes her head.

"He tried it on with me once, that was the final straw for my Henry and he handed in his resignation over it, neither brother took the news well. Eventually Joel tried to apologise and get him to reconsider, after all he had so much information on both brothers I think he was scared of what damage Henry could do if he put his mind to it, but he refused, and because he refused Geoff treated him terribly he threatened Henry and told him he would make sure he never worked again, just because he wouldn't step back into line and carry on as if nothing had happened. That really upset Henry that he could be so vindictive, he was prepared to keep quiet about everything he had witnessed over the years, but being threatened with being blackballed really upset him and so he realised he had nothing to lose, so he took everything he had on Geoff and in return for immunity against prosecution he showed the authorities what Geoffrey Cross was doing and had been doing for years… and well, we all know what happened there," she pauses and looks at Gideon again as she says that.

"We moved out here to Scappoose and started afresh. When your father killed himself Henry was so upset, not for Geoff but for you Gideon. He said that Geoff had a family and how would they cope with him doing something like that and that was the only time he felt any regret for what he had done, because he felt so bad about the fact you were going to grow up without your father".

Gideon shakes his head, "My fathers actions were selfish and nobody else's fault but his, and he reaped the consequences from the decisions he made, but he was too much of a coward to take his medicine when he was found out" he says bitterly.

I glance at Eva, and see she has slipped her hand into Gideon's, to offer him some comfort and support.

Mrs Hamilton nods and continues with her story. "So, going back to Joel. There is no polite way to say it but he used women, manwhore didn't even begin to describe him. Time after time Henry was called to get him out of some situation he had got into. But then he met a young girl, and she seemed to be different from the others and he seemed to care about her more than any other woman he had been with, and we all hoped that this girl would be the one to tame him. Her name was Ella McIntyre and she was a lovely girl, she was down to earth, full of life and love, I have some photographs which my husband took of the two of them".

She opens her box and pulls out two photographs and hands them to me. I take in a sharp breath and stare at the pictures, at the woman who is smiling and looks healthy and happy, but who I remember very differently.

Ana leans in to look at the picture and then at me.

"Is that her, is that your birth mom?" she whispers.

I nod unable to say anything and Ana reaches for me and grips my hand tightly.

Mrs Hamilton watches my reaction for a moment and then continues to speak, "Well, Ella seemed to have a huge effect on Joel, and he calmed down and it looked like he was going to go the whole nine yards with her, it was clear he had fallen in love with her, but after a while she discovered she was pregnant, and that seemed to change everything. Joel didn't want to be a father he was too selfish and the idea of having a child cramped his style. He denied paternity and refused to have anything to do with her or the baby. He broke up with her and left her high and dry. Ella was heart broken but she vowed that she would bring up the baby alone, her own family disowned her and she went through a really hard time. Henry and I tried to help her, we really did, but Joel found out and he was furious. He threatened to fire Henry and he had a huge tantrum about the whole thing, saying Henry had no right to meddle in his business. When he calmed down he apologised to Henry but told him in no uncertain terms to keep his nose out. Henry stepped back but quietly kept an eye out for Ella, and passed on the information to me and I went to see her from time to time. I was there with her when she had the baby, I was there and held her hand as she gave birth - a beautiful baby boy with a shock of bright copper hair, I took one look at him and I knew there was no doubt as to who his father was – she called him Christian. We kept in contact, and I did what I could for her and the baby for a while, but she moved and we lost touch. I begged Henry to try and track her down, and he did his best, but by the time he found her it was too late, he found out that she had ended up on skid row, addicted to drugs and that she had died and that Christian had been taken into the care of child services and adopted".

She stops speaking and the deathly quiet in the room is oppressive, I won't deny her story is more than compelling, but I need physical facts.

"Do you… do you have anything else to back up this story?" I ask politely, "It's not that I don't believe you it's just…" I stop.

Mrs Hamilton smiles at me "I know, it's a lot to take in isn't it" she says.

She rummages in her box again and pulls out another photograph, and hands it to me. I look and gasp at the small child looking healthy, well fed and clean, in well worn but clean and well fitting clothes and it's obvious that it's me, and Ana takes a sharp breath in as she looks at it, I look closely at the picture, it's of me and my mother, we are in what appears to be some kind of park, what is destroying me inside though is the way she is looking at me in this picture, she is looking at me with such love in her eyes. I turn it over and on the back in scrawled handwriting it says 'Ella and Christian aged 2 years old'.

"That one there was taken the last time I saw her, it was soon after that she moved away and I never saw her again, she said she had met someone...Tony something, and she said he promised he would take care of her," Mrs Hamilton says sadly.

I go cold at these words, and I am at a loss to know what to do, everything I have ever thought and believed about my birth mother is wrong, she loved me and she wanted the best for me, I go through everything Mrs Hamilton has told me, and I think about the parallels with my own life. I used women and then I met Ana and she changed me, she discovered she was pregnant and I initially denied paternity, I feel sick at the thought and I turn to Ana she looks at me and smiles.

"Christian stop it, you are nothing like Joel Cross," she says and she touches my face, "you are a good man" she adds.

It's almost as if she can read my mind, I glance up at Gideon and Eva who are sitting silently just observing the proceedings and I offer Gideon the photograph,

"That's definitely my birth mother," I say quietly.

"Is that you?" Eva asks me.

I nod, "It is" I say.

Gideon hands back the photograph and I go to give it back to Mrs Hamilton but she shakes her head.

"No I want you to have them," she says.

She rummages in her box again and pulls out several more photographs and hands them to me, they are all of my birth mother with me, taken at different stages of my life, they all show her smiling and looking at me with love, and it's tearing me apart to see it. I feel the same claustrophobic sensation overwhelming me that I felt back in Aspen, and I need to stand up and get out, but I can't, because if I do I will worry Ana. I start to breathe heavily as I continue to stare at the photos.

"It's ok Christian," Ana says quietly, and she strokes my arm.

"Could you get Christian a glass of water?" she asks Jez, and he nods and disappears, moment later he returns and hands me a glass.

"Thank you" I say tightly and gulp down the water.

"Are you alright?" Mrs Hamilton says looking at me with obvious concern.

"I am, please forgive me it was just a shock, seeing these pictures of my mother, I remember her very differently. Here she looks so well, so healthy, my memory of her is different, she was much thinner and dirtier and definitely not so obviously happy," I say sadly.

I look once again at all the pictures in my hand, I linger on the one of my mother with Joel Cross.

"This is Joel Cross?" I ask tightly.

Mrs Hamilton nods, "It is" she says.

I study the picture carefully. I take in the copper hair and the grey eyes and then I look at my mother and see myself in her face as well and I shake my head.

Mrs Hamilton reaches out to me again, "I also have this letter which Ella sent to Joel, Joel gave it to Henry unopened and that is how it has remained all these years".

Mrs Hamilton hands me an envelope, it is slightly yellowed with age and I stare at it and with a deep breath I tear it open and begin to read.

_Dear Joel_

_I am very disappointed with your reaction to the news that I am expecting your baby, but more than anything though I am hurt that you have denied that you are this baby's father._

_You know for a fact that you were my first, you were my first everything and I loved you with all my heart, and there was never anyone else for me other than you. I never slept with another man; you were my first and only lover. I didn't purposely get myself pregnant and I am insulted that you think I did just that._

_I am sorry it has ended like this, I will bring up our baby alone. If you really don't want to be in his or her life, then you are the one who will be missing out. I hope you reconsider your decision and I will let you know when our child is born._

_I will always love you Joel, please remember that small fact._

_I wish you well in however your life progresses._

_Always yours,_

_Ella x_

I look up and I realise I am crying bitterly, I swiftly dash the tears from my cheeks and turn to Ana who is looking at me with love and concern. I hand her the letter without a word and she simply folds it, replaces it in the envelope and puts it in her purse.

"I'll read it later," she whispers and I nod.

"How could he do that to her?" I ask bitterly.

Mrs Hamilton shakes her head and looks at me sympathetically. "He was a completely self centred man, and he did what he wanted, when he wanted. He was arrogant and felt he didn't have to answer to anyone, he wasn't a good person, but we hoped that Ella would change him, which she appeared to, to begin with but his selfishness was just too strong," Mrs Hamilton says sadly.

I nod, Gideon is listening to all this and I know he has good memories of his uncle.

"Are you ok?" I ask him.

He nods, "yes I am, I… feel how I felt when I discovered the truth about my father. I had always idolised him, he was my dad and I couldn't reconcile my memories of him as this man who everyone was describing as a complete bastard, but its hard hearing my uncle was the same, as I also have fond memories of him," he says.

Mrs Hamilton looks at Gideon and speaks, "And you should hang on to those memories Gideon, if you remember him that way, that is a good thing, its good you didn't know him the way he really was, he didn't destroy your life the way he destroyed others," she says.

"Very true," Gideon answers.

I feel we have heard enough, I reach for my crutch and go to stand up, "Thank you so much for your time today Mrs Hamilton, and for the information you have given me, it has certainly been enlightening," I say politely.

"Thank you for coming to see me and letting me tell you, when Jeremy told me who he was going to be working for I asked him about you and he refused to say anything, so I did a little detective work of my own, and it was then that I realised that you were that little baby who I'd seen born all those years ago, I checked and double checked everything I found out about you with what I knew and it seemed to all fit. I had previously wondered at times, I mean I'd obviously heard of you, and it was common knowledge you were adopted, and times when I saw you in the papers and on the TV I wondered if you were Ella's boy, but it seemed fantastical to think you were, but when Jeremy went to work for you and you did what you did for me, I knew I had to find out for sure once and for all, and so I did and I felt you had a right to know the truth and I felt it was the only thing I could offer you as repayment for the kindness you showed to me".

She reaches for my hand once more. "You are a good man, and you are your mother's son," she says.

I feel myself losing my self control and I have to leave, now. I nod, unable to say a word and turn to leave, Ana is gripping my hand and whispering in my ear but I don't hear anything she is saying. I just need to get out of here.

I pause and take a deep breath as we step outside and Taylor, Angus and Chris join us and Taylor looks at me anxiously.

"Everything alright sir?" he asks tentatively.

I take another deep breath and reaching for Ana I pull her close to my side.

"Yes I'm fine" I say curtly.

I turn to Gideon, "So we had better go now and get that DNA test done then cuz!" I say with forced brightness.

"Yes we do," he replies.

When we get back to Seattle Gideon and I head straight for the hospital for the DNA test, and I need to speak to my mother.

We arrive and she looks at me carefully and she must see I am roiling inside and she doesn't say a word she just opens her arms and waits. I don't hesitate; I walk into her open arms and wrap mine tightly around her.

"How did it go darling?" she asks me carefully.

I don't say a word, I just pull away from her and reaching into my pocket I pull out the photographs and show them to her, she takes them from me and gasps in shock, her hand coming up to her mouth and she looks up at me as her eyes meet mine I see she has tears in hers.

"It's obviously you," she says and then she points at the woman, "and this is Ella?" she asks.

My head whips up at these words, "what did you say?" I ask.

She looks at me a startled expression on her face, "I asked if this was Ella – your birth mother?" she says in confusion.

"You knew her name?" I ask.

My mother nods, "Yes, it was on all the paper work when you were adopted, and on your birth certificate, I have always known your birth mother was called Ella, Ella McIntyre". she says.

"What about my father, was his name given?" I ask thinking that the information could have been closer than I had imagined all these years.

My mother shakes her head, "No, he was never listed on the paperwork, and on your birth certificate he was listed as unknown".

I close my eyes at these words.

"Ok, let's get this test done," I say sharply.

My mother leads us to an office where a young doctor is waiting, he smiles and greets us, we go through the paperwork, including some NDA's which I insist he sign, and we explain what we are looking for.

"We have reason to believe that on the paternal DNA line, there is a link between myself and Mr Cross, and we are looking to either disprove or confirm that fact," I say.

The doctor nods, "what is the link you are looking to establish or disprove?" he asks.

Gideon steps forward, "we have been informed that my uncle could possibly be Mr Grey's biological father, so if that is correct that would make us cousins so that is the link we are seeking to prove or otherwise" he says.

The details are all taken down and then the DNA test is completed, we watch as everything is labelled and bagged up and we are told we should have the results in twenty four hours.

As we leave Gideon and I look at each other, "Well in twenty four hours we'll know the truth," I say.

"It all seems pretty conclusive, Mrs Hamilton's story was pretty compelling and you have that letter," Gideon says.

"It was, and I do," I agree.

I glance at my watch, "Come on lets get back to our wives" I add.

**oooOOOooo**

_Twenty four hours later…_

Once again I am sitting in the hospital in the small office I was in yesterday, beside me is Ana holding my hand tightly, on my other side is Gideon who is flanked by Eva, also in the room seated behind us sitting together and chatting amicably are my mother and Chris Vidal.

Anxiety is coursing though me, I want this to be true and I want Gideon as my family. I have decided I also want to fly to Detroit and visit my biological mother's grave, I haven't said anything to Ana yet about it and I still haven't thought it through totally myself, but after hearing everything yesterday and reading that heartbreaking letter, I now realise my birth mother wasn't to blame for any of what happened, and I feel I owe it to her to visit her grave and to forgive her for what happened to me.

I wait, not entirely patiently and as the doctor enters Ana grips my hand tightly and Gideon nudges me.

The doctor sits down and opens the file in his hand.

"Well Mr Grey, Mr Cross, we completed the DNA testing and we have news for you both, it's not quite the news you were hoping to expect, we completed the tests and I can tell you that there is definitely a biological link between the two of you, but you are not cousins. We ran the test several times to make sure of the findings, and checked and double checked the results, but each time it came up with the same answer, Mr Grey, Mr Cross, this DNA proves that you are half brothers".


	62. Chapter 62

CHAPTER 62

Eva and Ana both gasp and Gideon just stares at me as my mouth drops open, brothers? I look at Gideon, and I see that all colour has drained from his face.

"Are you alright?" I ask him carefully.

"I'm not sure," he replies.

He is gripping Eva's hand tightly and he turns towards the doctor, "I know that this sounds stupid, but what does this mean?" he asks.

The doctor smiles patiently at him, "You are half brothers, this means in your particular case that you have different mothers, but you share the same father" he says.

As we both nod we as we let that information sink in and the enormity of what it could possibly mean and I turn to Gideon, "That means either my mother slept with Geoffrey Cross or..."

"My mother slept with Joel Cross," Gideon finishes.

I immediately recall the letter I read where Ella had written to Joel and insisted he was my father and the only man she had ever loved and had sex with, but I don't say anything as I don't want to appear as though I am accusing Gideon's mother of cheating on her husband, but I feel an odd sudden protective surge towards my birth mother and a growing irrational hatred of Joel Cross.

Chris has moved forward and puts his hand on Gideon's shoulder, "I'll call your mother and find out for you, if you want me to?" he says.

Gideon shakes his head, "I'll ask her" he says sharply, and from his demeanour I am guessing he is starting to believe that Joel Cross is actually his father.

He turns to me and then his face breaks into a smile, "I have a brother" he says, and he shrugs "well, one I get on with," he adds.

The flippant comment breaks the tension in the air and we both stand and embrace.

The doctor quietly gives us some privacy. My mother walks up to Gideon and hugs him.

"Welcome to our family Gideon, as Christian's brother you are now also a honorary Grey!" she says.

Gideon looks floored by that comment, I snort with laughter and slap his shoulder, "Trust me that's not as good as it sounds. As you know Elliot is an idiot and Mia is damned annoying!" I say.

Everyone chuckles at this except for my mother who glares at me.

"Christian!" she exclaims angrily.

"I'm joking mom," I say.

We leave the hospital in a kind of daze; I don't think that the enormity of this news has hit us yet. I don't know about Gideon but I am delighted that he is my brother but this is far more complicated for him, to be brutally honest it doesn't bother me who my birth mother slept with because I didn't know any of them apart from the vague memories I have of my mother which coloured my opinion of her and which in the past 24 hours have been proved fundamentally wrong. So having said that I have this gut feeling that she was telling the truth and Joel Cross is my biological father. But if that gut feeling is correct then this has the potential to destroy everything that Gideon ever thought he knew and that is huge. The father he idolised and grieved for may not have been his father at all or if my gut feeling is wrong, then his father cheated on his mother. Either way it destroys what few good memories he has of his early years.

As we are driving back home I turn to Gideon, "Whatever the outcome of this, I'm sorry you have to go through it," I say carefully.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, don't be sorry, we all deserve to know the truth," he says.

When we get back to the house we all head to the kitchen and Eva fetches Gideon's laptop. We set it up and then he telephone's his mother, putting the call on speaker so we can all hear it. We are all there watching and waiting, my mother is standing with Eva and Ana and Chris Vidal. I look around the room and the sense of anticipation is huge. I wonder where Angus as is he came in with us but he has since vanished.

"Hello," we hear Mrs Vidal's soft voice.

"Mother, I am going to Skype you, get yourself to your laptop," Gideon says curtly and with no preamble.

"Gideon, it's lovely to hear from you," the joy in his mother's voice is heartbreaking considering how cold and abrupt he is being at this moment.

"Just do it," he says and then he hangs up. I watch him and I can see he has shut down his emotions and put up all his defensive walls to prevent himself reacting to whatever news he gets and is working on autopilot.

Moments later the connection has been made and Gideon's mother appears on the screen, we all keep out of sight apart from Chris who takes the seat beside Gideon and he touches his arm reassuringly I see Gideon respond with a small nod. As I watch my attention is drawn to Elizabeth and she gasps when she sees Chris and she immediately starts preening and smiling sweetly at him, and she is totally ignoring the fact Gideon is even there.

"Hello Chris, how are you?" she asks, and it doesn't seem to escape everyone else that she has totally ignored Gideon since she laid eyes on Chris.

"I'm fine Elizabeth, but I am only here to support Gideon, as he has received some news today which is potentially life changing, no it _is_ life changing and you hold the answer for him to put the final question he has to rest. You are the only one who can answer this, so please do not lie to him or fob him off as this boy has been through enough" Chris says firmly, I smile widely at that and Elizabeth's smile instantly fades. He is letting her know that despite her efforts to capture his attention Gideon is the only reason he is present.

Elizabeth nods "Alright" she says warily and waits, she manages to drag her attention from Chris and she finally looks at her son.

Gideon rubs his eyes and then looks at his mother carefully, "Mother did you ever sleep with Uncle Joel?" he asks.

Elizabeth's expression says everything we need to know, "How did you find that out?" she asks sharply.

Gideon doesn't answer her question but presses on with another one of his own, "I'll take that as a yes, so having said that… is there a possibility that Uncle Joel could be my father?" he asks.

Elizabeth blanches and closes her eyes, the silence spreads out and then slowly she nods and then bursts into tears.

"How did you find this out? Yes he is your father but I never told him and I let Geoffrey think you were his, neither of them knew the truth. Your father... Geoffrey went to his grave believing you were his, as for Joel well… he wasn't cut out to be anyone's father. I found out later that he had a child somewhere in Detroit with a girl he'd met but that he'd abandoned them both. You have to understand Gideon, your father… Geoffrey was always working and he rarely paid me any attention, I was lonely. Joel showed me the attention I was lacking and which I craved and he made me feel special and loved, but when I found out I was pregnant I ended it and I seduced Geoffrey to provide a reasonable conception time for you, and he believed until his dying day that you were born prematurely".

She is sobbing now and yet there is still an odd sense of defiance coming from her and I can't help but think these tears are fake and for Chris's benefit. I am feeling really uncomfortable about this whole conversation and Gideon is just still staring coldly at the screen. I reach out and press my hand on his shoulder but he doesn't respond, so I move away.

"Thank you mother that's all I needed to know" he says after a moment's silence.

She looks up, "Gideon, how did you find out, who told you?" she demands, the tears are now gone and an almost angry look on her face, which confirms my suspicions that they were indeed crocodile tears.

Gideon looks at Chris helplessly and he leans forward.

"Elizabeth, he found out because that child Joel fathered and abandoned in Detroit, grew up to be Christian Grey and he has just found out about his biological parentage, as he was given information which suggested Joel Cross was his biological father and as you know Gideon and Christian are close friends and so Gideon offered a DNA sample to try and help to confirm the claims of whether or not Joel was Christian's father, and when the results came back it came back that they were half brothers and not the cousins as they assumed they would be".

"But Christian Grey is the same age as Gideon! So Joel was sleeping with me at the same time as he was sleeping with Christian's mother," Elizabeth says in a horrified voice.

"It would appear so," Gideon says his tone still arctic.

"I feel so used, he told me I was special - he lied to me!" Elizabeth cries.

I stare in disbelief at the screen and then at Gideon, she hasn't even apologised for what she has done, or even bothered to ask if Gideon is alright, all she is thinking of is herself and how this affects her.

Gideon looks at his mother and it is clear he is thinking much the same thing as he raises his hands in a gesture of defeat and he stands up and walks away. I notice my mother immediately go to him and she reaches for him and gently pulls him into her arms. I watch as she just holds him offering him some comfort and rubbing her hand rhythmically up and down his back.

I can't tell for sure but I am pretty convinced he is crying. He is a tall man and so he is bending as his head is resting on her shoulder, he is almost nuzzling into her neck and his body is shuddering but there is no sound coming from him. My heart breaks as I see him clinging to my mother like a small child. I can't contain myself any longer, Ana's words when she told me what Elizabeth Vidal was like come into my mind, she had said she reminded her of Carla – that everything was all about her, and she had no concept of parental responsibility, and a surge of protective anger towards Gideon goes through me and I sit down beside Chris.

"Hello Mrs Vidal, with all due respect this isn't about you or the choices and bad decisions you and Joel Cross made, your son has just received life changing news. He has just discovered that the man he thought was his father, the man he loved and grieved for wasn't his father at all. Everything he ever knew as fact about himself has just been taken from him. You do realise that was the only bit of his childhood that he could cling on to as stable and true? Considering everything else he has endured over the years due mainly to your complete lack of parental care I believe you owe him one huge apology for your actions. Not only at the time, when you took the conscious decision to lie but also for your completely self centred behaviour now," I am feeling incredibly protective toward my brother and this woman is just staring at me incredulously which is making me even more angry.

"If you hadn't wanted to know where you came from, none of this would have ever come out" she spits at me after a moment.

I am momentarily shaken by her words and I sit back in my seat, then I feel Ana immediately appear at my side and she leans in towards the screen and Eva has also appeared looking like thunder beside Chris who is staring with his mouth hanging open in shock at her words.

"Christian move," Ana says sharply and she shoves my shoulder to emphasise her point.

I am so surprised by her words and tone I obey without question and Chris also stands to let Eva sit down. I notice Chris go over to Gideon who is still being comforted by my mother. My attention returns to Ana who at this moment is ripping Elizabeth Vidal a new one.

"Mrs Vidal that has to be the nastiest most selfish thing I have ever heard. Every child has the right to know where they came from and who their parents are, and its disgraceful that my 28 year old husband is only finding out the truth now. Christian did not ask for any of this, he was just as shocked as anyone when someone came forward claiming to have knowledge of his birth father and for the record just because you couldn't keep your damn legs shut and stay faithful to your husband doesn't mean that Christian didn't have the right to find out his parentage and for you to say what you just have goes to show what a totally self centred bitch you are. You and Joel Cross made a good pair, we have heard all about him and his brother and neither of them have any redeeming qualities as far as I can see," she pauses for breath and as Elizabeth sits there her mouth opening and shutting she continues with her tirade.

"Did you know Joel also tried it on with another man's wife in their employment and then your husband threatened him when he resigned because of it? I told you last time I met you that you reminded me of my own sorry excuse for a mother, but you have proved today that you are exactly like her, and do you know what else you have in common? She ended up alone, unwanted and unloved and guess what Mrs Vidal it looks like you are in exactly the same position, due to your own selfish actions, so good luck with that and have a nice life".

Ana stops and Eva leans forward, she looks furiously at the screen and she doesn't hold back.

"How fucking dare you!" she yells at the computer screen.

"You evil fucking bitch, the world doesn't revolve around you. Your son is in bits about this and all you can think of is the fact the guy you were screwing around with behind your husbands back was screwing around with someone else at the same time. Well guess what - that's karma for you, what goes around comes around and I guess that made you a good pair! Your son has just found out the man he thought was his father wasn't, does that mean anything to you at all? No I guess it doesn't, because you have never been any sort of mother to him. You alienated him from the life you made for yourself after Geoffrey Cross, instead of supporting and loving him. You are a sorry excuse of a human being and you do not deserve the title of mother, do you want to know where your son is right now? He right here and he is being comforted by Grace Grey, Christian's adopted mom. She is everything a mother should be but you – you are the type of person who should never ever have kids, you are a fucking disgrace!"

As I watch Ana and Eva are continuing to glare at the laptop screen then I see the connection suddenly disappears. I smile at Eva and Ana with ill concealed pride. I turn to Gideon he is standing still holding on to my mother but he is also watching Ana and Eva. I walk over to him and embrace him.

"Are you alright? I'm so sorry," I say.

Gideon pulls me away and stares at me, "Don't you fucking dare Grey, never ever apologise to me, I'm your brother, we are family and you will _not_ apologise for that, ever!"

I feel my throat tighten and we embrace again as we do so I feel and hear my crutch crash to the floor, but I don't care. When we pull apart, our wives have joined us and we pull them into a group hug.

"Thank you everyone, I am quite overwhelmed at this moment, I have never felt so much love and support directed at me in my life" Gideon says as he glances around in complete bewilderment.

He turns to my mother, "Grace, thank you. Eva was right you are everything a mother should be and my brother has been lucky to have you for the majority of his life, Chris in the past few months we have become really close and I thank you for your support and for what you just said to my mother".

Then he turns to Ana and Eva, and he grins "Remind me never ever to get on your wrong sides, you two were awesome," he hugs them both and presses kiss to each of their cheeks and then he turns to me.

"Christian, you were too, you just jumped in there and stood up for me, and for that I thank you," he says.

I shrug, "You're my brother" I say.

Before we can say any more my mother embraces Gideon again. "You are a very special young man Gideon, and there is always a place for you at our table, don't you forget that" she says.

Gideon beams at her, "Thank you Grace, I _will_ remember that," he says.

Chris slaps Gideon on the back, "Don't forget you always have me in your corner too, I love you like my own and I am just sorry it has taken us so long to realise it," he says sadly.

Gideon embraces him, "I'm sorry about that too Chris," he says.

Chris shakes his head, "No Gideon, you have nothing to apologise for, you and Christian are both completely blameless in all this, neither of you have any need to apologise for anything!" he says.

We all go into the sitting room and we all have drinks, Ana and Eva both have a glass of soda while Gideon, Chris and I have bourbon and my mother has a glass of wine. We all sit talking, as the enormity of what has happened today is slowly sinking in, Eva has fetched the photograph album which they had brought with them, and I see the men who caused so much trouble. I also see the photograph of Gideon playing on the beach with Geoffrey Cross and it makes me sad, as they were both lied to.

As the evening wears on my mother has gone home and Chris has gone up to bed. Gideon is very quiet but he assures us he is fine. He sits with Eva and has his hand on her stomach and he is absently stroking her bump gently, he glances across at me and I notice I have my hand on Ana's stomach and suddenly he smiles.

"Christian, you do realise that not only have we discovered we are brothers, but as are we both going to be fathers this year, that means we will also become uncle's".

He looks at me as he says this and I smile at the thought, "Uncle Christian, kind of has a ring to it, don't you think Uncle Gideon?" I say and Gideon snorts with laughter.

Ana sits up suddenly which startles me a little.

"What's wrong?" I ask panicked slightly by the quick and unexpected movement.

"This makes us sisters," she says to Eva.

Eva grins, "I always wanted a sister" she says, "and our girls will be cousins" she adds.

We talk for a while longer, I keep looking at Gideon and I am worried about how quiet he is, but I don't want to badger him by keep asking him if he is alright, as I know if someone did that to me I would be severely pissed.

As I am thinking this Ana suddenly yawns loudly, which focuses my attention back to her.

"Sorry, I think that's my cue to hit the hay" she says with a grin, she turns to me, "are you coming?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Not yet baby, I have a ton of work I need to catch up on, Ros has been handling things admirably, but there are some things which need my final say," I say apologetically.

Ana nods and kisses my cheek, "Well don't work too hard," she says and with that she is gone.

Eva and Gideon soon follow and I somewhat reluctantly head off to my study.

It's about 3am when I finally call it a night. I am shocked at how much has built up but Ros has been a gem, I must remember to give her a raise. I finish checking and signing the final contract and rub my eyes then yawning loudly I switch off the light and head up to bed.

As I reach our bedroom, I hear a commotion coming from the guest suite across the hall. I pause and listen, I hear Gideon shouting and talking and Eva sobbing repeatedly calling out his name and asking him to wake up.

Shit he must be having one of his night terrors. I pause wondering if I should interfere but Eva sounds so distressed I decide I must, and so I carefully open the door to the suite.

"Eva are you alright?" I call.

I wait and Eva appears with a tear soaked face from the other bedroom.

"I'm so sorry, did we wake you?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, I was just coming to bed, what's going on?" I ask.

"It's Gideon, he's having one his night terrors, but I've never known it this bad before, he's been doing so well recently " she stops and another sob escapes.

I sigh, and pull her into my arms to try and comfort her, "It must be a reaction to everything that's happened today," I think for a moment, "Ok, listen, go and fetch Chris, he wants to be there for Gideon, so here's his chance".

Eva nods, "What are you going to do?" she asks.

I glance into the bedroom, "I'm going to try and wake him" I say.

Eva looks at me, "Be careful," she says, and I nod at her.

"Don't worry about me," I say.

I open the door and nothing prepares me for what I see. Gideon is lying on his side, his back arched as if in agony, his face in a horrific grimace. He is gripping his penis and rubbing it furiously, the action is brutal and makes me wince to see it and he is screaming in pain and calling out for his father to help him.

"GIDEON WAKE UP" I shout and I walk towards him and I grab him by the shoulders and I physically remove his hand from his penis, it takes me all my strength to do so and I am shocked and surprised at just how resistant and strong Gideon is when he is trapped in his nightmare, and I realise why Eva keeps her distance as she wouldn't stand a chance should she get caught up in it.

"Dad is that you?" is the hoarse reply and it destroys me.

"GIDEON, ITS ME CHRISTIAN, WAKE UP, PLEASE WAKE UP" I shout again.

I physically shake him roughly and slowly he becomes aware of his surroundings, his eyes lose the fixed dead glassy stare and as he comes conscious he stares down at himself and then at me, and I see shame flooding him.

My reaction to this is immediate, I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly, he is cold and soaking with sweat but I don't care.

"It's just a dream, you are awake and you are safe," I say firmly to him.

He nods but doesn't say a word, after a moment he starts to relax so I carefully pull myself away from him and I grab the sheet and carefully wrap it round him.

"Here," I say as I wrap the sheet round his shoulders, he looks up at me.

"Thank you, I'm sorry did I wake you?" he asks hoarsely as he gratefully covers himself up.

I shake my head, "No, I was just coming to bed actually and I heard, so I came in to help".

"Where's Eva? I didn't, oh god I didn't?" Gideon asks suddenly, blind panic now filling his face and he quickly scans the room and his panic increases as he doesn't see her.

"Eva's fine, she knows better than to try and wake you, she was standing at the door shouting at you to wake up, that's what drew my attention, so I sent her to fetch Chris" I say and I pat his arm reassuringly.

Gideon protests but I hold up my hand, "Look he wants to be your dad, so let him, and being anyone's dad means taking the rough with the smooth, let him in, it will help you in the long run" I say.

I have no idea if I'm helping or not, but I'm remembering some of the things John told me about my own nightmares.

As we sit there Gideon starts to talk about the nightmare.

"It was different from what normally happens, I normally either dream about my dad or Hugh and the abuse, they are never in the same dream but this time, they were, I was with Hugh and he was abusing me, and when he started raping me I screamed out and my dad was there, and I was pleading with him to help me, but he said it wasn't his place to help me and he walked away and left me, he left me with Hugh and I was pleading with him to come back and help me".

I can't bear to hear this, I pull him towards me, "Well it was just a stupid fucking dream, and neither of those bastards are alive, but you have a whole family of people who love you and who would do anything for you, so you fucking listen to me, you have to fight them, and get them out of your head once and for all, do you understand me?" I stop and I grasp his head which is now resting against my shoulder.

I look up and see Eva in the doorway with Chris who is ashen faced.

"Gideon" he says quietly.

Gideon lifts his head up and looks towards his step father.

Chris sits down on the bed "How long has this been going on Gideon?" he asks.

I see my brother shrug, "for years, ever since my father... the man who I thought was my father killed himself, and it got worse after Hugh started abusing me. I had them practically every night, things were improving though, Christian put me on to John Flynn his shrink and I have been having video sessions with him and he has been helping me and they were receding slowly, I hadn't had one for about 2 months until tonight, and tonight it was different to what normally happens".

"It's clearly a reaction to the news you received today", Chris says "which is nothing to be ashamed of" he adds as he sees Gideon look down and refuses to make eye contact.

"You had life changing news today, and you wouldn't be human if you didn't react to it some how".

Gideon nods and looks up at Eva who is still standing in the doorway in silence.

"Are you alright Angel?" he asks nervously.

She smiles at him reassuringly "I'm fine" she says, "It's you I'm worried about" she adds.

I look at my brother "Gideon, go and get a shower and get back to bed for what's left of the night, tomorrow I'll call Flynn and we'll go and see him together, and perhaps Chris could join us too?" I glance up at Chris and he nods firmly.

"We will help you with this Gideon, you are not alone anymore" Chris says.

"I… I don't know" Gideon says and I understand immediately that this will be a massive step for him, he can cope with video chats but the idea of being in a room with a shrink is clearly and naturally very distressing.

I grasp his hand, "Gideon listen to me, I will be there with you, Chris will be there and Eva as well if you want. John will not hurt you but you won't be left alone with him as I now that would be too much for you to cope with, but you need to do this, you have had some life changing news and you need help processing it, I get that you have a mistrust of shrinks but John won't hurt you" I say.

Gideon slowly nods, "Ok, I'll do it" he says after a few moments thought.

**oooOOOooo**

It's nearly 8.30 when I eventually wake up I head down to the kitchen and Eva is sitting nursing a mug of coffee as I walk in.

"Hi Christian," she says as I walk in.

"Morning, is he still asleep?" I ask.

Eva nods, "He was pretty shredded about last night, he was mortified that you saw him like that and he kept saying he'd caused everyone hassle, and that he was so ashamed".

I shake my head, "That's stupid talk," I scoff.

Eva nods and gives me a sad smile, "I know that and you now that but try telling him that, you have to remember until last night the only person ever to have fully witnessed one of his night terrors in all its glory, in all the years he has been suffering, was me. You guys knew about them, but knowing about them and actually witnessing them is something totally different," she says.

"He was worried about you, he was panicking when he realised you weren't there, he was rambling but he seemed convinced he'd hurt you or something," I say.

Eva nods sadly, "He attacked me once – he didn't know what he was doing, he was fast asleep, I stupidly tried to wake him and when I touched him he grabbed me and nearly raped me, he was gutted when he woke up and realised what he'd done, not to mention terrified that I would leave him. He swore that I'd never be a victim again and that he would always protect me, after I told him about my past, and as far as he saw it he had made me just that, and it was after that that he insisted that we sleep apart and made me promise never to try and wake him if he was having a night terror".

I shake my head, "He's been suffering with this for years, almost his entire life and wouldn't get any help, it's unbelievable," I say.

Eva looks at me incredulously, "Would you? The last shrink who was sent to help him caused this situation, he fucking raped him, and so I think he has reason to be suspicious of shrinks" she says a little defensively.

"He's been seeing John though, he has helped him hasn't he?" I ask.

Eva nods, "He has, a lot, but there is only so much you can do over Skype though which is all Gideon is comfortable with, but yes I think he does trust John Flynn to a point and the fact it's done by video link makes Gideon feel safer, John has done loads for him helping him come to terms with things, we thought he would get his closure when he helped send down that woman, Sybil, Elena whatever the hell her name was, and when I confronted his mom and proved to her that Gideon was telling the truth, I hoped that would help too, admittedly his mom only apologised to try and get Chris back on side, but that backfired on her when he left her anyway. Having Chris in his life now has helped a lot as well - just to have that father figure he never had, and the fact Christopher is seeking help for his issues too and is starting to come around a little, that is huge for Gideon considering how toxic their relationship was. It's baby steps but they are getting there slowly, but its a lifetime of hurt he has to overcome, and its not going to happen overnight".

I listen to Eva and as she speaks it's as if a light bulb goes off in my head.

"I need to make a call" I say suddenly, "Do you have Ireland's phone number?" I ask.

I have an idea swirling around my head I don't know if it's a good or bad idea but its one I am going to run with. Eva nods and quickly thumbs through the contacts on her phone and tells me the number.

"What are you planning?" she asks me.

"It's an idea, to help my brother, I'm not sure if it will work or spectacularly blow up in my face, but I have to try".

Eva nods and smiles gratefully at me as I head to my study and grab my phone.

I take a deep breath and dial the number.

"Hello" a soft voice answers.

"Hello is this Ireland Vidal?" I ask.

"It is, may I ask who this is?" comes the reply.

"Hello Ireland, it's Christian Grey here, I need your help" I say.

"Oh hello Christian, is everything alright? Are Gideon and Eva ok?" she sounds worried now.

"That's why I'm calling, are you aware of the reasons why Gideon and Eva are in Seattle at the moment?" I ask.

"Erm sort of, Gideon said you had found out about your biological family and he was helping you or something," she says vaguely.

"Well, there is a lot more to it than that, and things have escalated more than we anticipated. Look I want you to fly out to Seattle today with your brother Christopher. Gideon really needs his family around him at this moment, your dad is here, but I really think you two being here will help. We need him to open up and lean on people more, he has been so closed off and solitary all his life, he needs to know people are there for him, will you help me? I'll send my plane for you if you agree" I say as I hold my breath and pray that she will say yes.

"Of course I will, and Christopher will as well, he was saying to me only yesterday that he wants to show Gideon how sorry he is, and how he wants to build a relationship with him, and he also wants to make things right with Eva," Ireland says enthusiastically.

"Thank you, listen though, there is a few things you should know before you arrive, so you are prepared, my biological father was a man called Joel Cross, he was the brother of Geoffrey Cross".

I hear Ireland gasp, "Gideon's dad," she says.

I let out a little snort, "Well, that's the thing, Joel Cross is dead and so to confirm the story I was told, Gideon agreed to offer his DNA to either prove or disprove a link with the Cross family, and we assumed we would be cousins if my father was Joel Cross, only when the results came back it said we were brothers, and it now appears that Geoffrey Cross wasn't Gideon's father - Joel was and Elizabeth admitted it yesterday when Gideon confronted her. She also said a few things which were very upsetting and they ended the conversation badly," I pause as Ireland interrupts me, asking me if Gideon is ok.

"Oh my god, how did he take that, is he ok?" she asks in a rush.

I smile, Ireland really loves her big brother, and I am now confident in my decision to bring her here.

"Gideon appears to be ok with the fact that I am his brother, but obviously finding out that the man he always assumed was his father actually wasn't, is a different matter. He didn't take it well at all, and his mother didn't help matters with her reaction. Chris, Eva and I have been trying to help him come to terms with it, but I thought if he could see he had the support of his siblings that would help," I stop and wait for Ireland to say something.

"Shit, he must be destroyed, wait.. and so you are his brother? So how does that work?" Ireland asks as she is obviously processing everything I have told her.

I sigh deeply, "Well, you know how you and Christopher share a mother with Gideon but you have different dads, well I share a father with Gideon but we had different moms, and the father we share wasn't the one Gideon thought he had," I explain.

"I see, well I'll call Christopher and we'll get ourselves to La Guardia and wait for your plane" Ireland says in a determined voice.

"Thank you I appreciate that, I'll have it in the air within the next hour so it should be with you mid afternoon, and I'll text you with the ETA as soon as I know, so you can make the arrangements". I say.

"Ok thank you for telling me Christian and for taking care of Gideon" Ireland says and with that she hangs up. I quickly call Stephan and ask him to arrange a flight plan and fly out to New York. Within the hour my plane is in the air and I have text Ireland the details.

As I think about what I have done my phone rings, it's a number I don't recognise and I tentatively answer it.

"Grey" I say.

"Christian? Christian Grey?" the male voice asks.

"Yes" I say and wait.

I know this is breaking all protocol and Taylor would have my ass for doing this – its security 101 not to confirm my identity to an unsolicited call, but I have a vague idea who this could be and when the man introduces himself I am proved right.

"This is Christopher Vidal – Gideon's brother, Ireland has called me and she filled me in on what happened, she gave me this number as it was the one you used to call her and I just wanted a few details".

"What do you want to know?" I ask.

"Well for starters how is my... our brother...? What exactly happened how did all this come about? Ireland knew more about it than I did, but she has more of a relationship with him than I do… which is something I want to put right, now that I know the truth and not my mother's twisted version of it".

I can hear the bitterness in his tone and I sit up a little straighter at this, wondering if there was more to that comment than what initially appears to be. I quickly fill him in on the relevant details of everything that happened.

"Well, we got word from someone that they had information for me about my biological father, and they claimed it was a man called Joel Cross, who at that point we knew was Gideon's uncle, being the brother of Geoffrey Cross. Anyway, the story panned out and was very persuasive, Gideon had agreed to give a DNA sample to confirm or disprove it, as Joel Cross is deceased, and when the results came back it stated we were half brothers, not cousins as we were anticipating to be the case, if the claims were true. Gideon called his mother, and she admitted that Joel Cross was also his father and not Geoffrey Cross as he had always believed. She was more concerned about the fact Gideon had discovered her secret and the fact that Joel Cross had been sleeping with her at the same time as my birth mother. She had a go at me, saying if I hadn't wanted to know where I came from none of this would have happened. Your father put her in her place and Eva and Ana, well they both ripped her a new one and in the end Elizabeth hung up on them".

There is a chuckle down the line as I say this.

"Why doesn't that surprise me, they are two feisty ladies, I know - I have been on their shit list! I have to admit, that I know about the call Gideon made to mom, as I was actually at the house when my mother and Gideon were talking and I overheard snippets including Ana and Eva laying into my mother but I didn't hear enough to make any real opinion on what was going on and I did wonder what it was about," Christopher says.

I smile as I recall Ana and Eva defending us. "Well if you heard snippets, you'll know it all got pretty ugly. To cut a long story short, Gideon tried to make out he was ok with everything but it became apparent last night that he wasn't. When he gets up, I am taking him to see my shrink – who has been working with him for a while, for a face to face therapy session".

"Did he have a nightmare about it?" Christopher asks.

"Yes" I say but I don't offer any more information.

"Shit, he always had those at home, I always thought he was just looking for attention when I was a kid, and I remember mom once she went in and shouted at him telling him that he had to stop his lies and attention seeking, she said he had been found out and he was to stop it. I didn't know any better and I believed her and it just compounded how I felt about him, then when it all came out when Eva came with all that evidence she and Ana gathered and they laid into my mom I realised... shit all those fucking wasted years, I just want to tell him he's my brother and I love him and that I'm just so fucking sorry for everything".

I hear Christopher break down and sob on the line and it kills me to hear it.

I feel vindicated in my decision to bring Christopher and Ireland to Seattle now I have heard all that and I quickly step in to encourage him.

"Christopher, listen to me, you can do all that, get yourself to La Guardia with Ireland and get on my plane and you will be here by this evening and you will be able to tell him all that, and one more thing, would you be prepared to have a session with my shrink John Flynn with Gideon? As I believe it would help you both, I recommend John Flynn highly, he is the best there is, he's the only one who has helped me with all my shit over the years, what do you say?"

"I'll do whatever it takes," Christopher says firmly, "and Christian, thank you for looking out for him," he adds.

"No problem he's my brother too," I say.

We talk a while longer and when I eventually end the call I head back out to the kitchen, Chris is there with Eva and they are both eating breakfast and Gail is bustling around the kitchen.

"Good morning Mr Grey, what would you like for breakfast?" she asks brightly.

"My usual please Gail" I say politely.

I turn my attention to Chris, "Good morning Chris, I have done something which I want to run past you," I say as I sit down.

Chris smiles and holds up his hand to stop me, "I have spoken to Ireland already, so I know, and I thank you, I think it will be very helpful".

I nod, relieved that Chris agrees, "and I have just been talking Christopher" I add warily.

Chris looks up, "Is he coming too?" he asks, obviously surprised at this development.

I nod, "he is" I say. I proceed to tell Chris everything that Christopher told me, including the admission about Gideon's nightmares and Chris looks furious.

"That fucking woman has screwed up both our son's lives," he says bitterly.

I am pleased and touched that he spoke of Gideon as his own and I reach over and touch his arm, "Well, they still have their father, and they are going to need you as they work through all the hurt of the past" I say.

The kitchen door opens and Ana walks in looking sleepy, she yawns and sits down beside me. I wrap my arm around her and kiss her forehead.

"Morning baby, sleep well?" I ask.

She nods, "I did, good morning everyone," she says looking around.

"Baby, we will be having more guests arriving this evening," I say carefully.

"Oh?" she asks.

I nod, "yes Ireland and Christopher Vidal are flying out", I glance at my watch "my plane is on its way to New York as we speak," I say.

"Oh I see, why?" Ana asks.

I quickly give her an outline of what happened during the night and how I think it would be good for Gideon to have his siblings around him and I tell her roughly what Christopher had said to me over the phone.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses me, "You are such a good man Christian" she says.

Gideon finally surfaces around 11am and sheepishly joins us. He makes a beeline for me and pulls me to one side.

"Christian, I need to apologise. I am so sorry about what you witnessed last night," he says.

I shake my head, "No, I won't accept your apology because you have no need to make one. You need to realise you have nothing to be sorry for, and I am going make you fucking realise this if it kills me," I say.

Gideon offers me a small grin, "Ok Grey, challenge accepted!" he says.

"Good, because your other brother and your sister are en route to Seattle, my plane should be landing in New York within the next couple of hours or so, and they will be here this evening, today you, me and Chris are going to see John Flynn and we are going to discuss this news we have received, then tomorrow Christopher is going join us for another session with John to help you lay your past to rest once and for all and solidify the relationship with Christopher which has recently blossomed".

Gideon stares at me in shock, "You've been busy haven't you, do I get a say in all this?" he asks.

I grin at him, "No, I'm the eldest, so you have to do as I say!" I say childishly.

This produces a loud snort of laughter, "I wondered how long it would take you to pull the older brother card," he says, shaking his head.

I shrug, "Had to be done," I say.

Gideon stares at me incredulously with his eyebrows raised so high that they almost vanish into his hairline "You are three months older than me, three months, that's all" he says.

I wave my hand at him, "Three months is three months, it still makes me your older brother and I have to say its a good feeling, considering I have always been the younger brother with Elliot" I retort.

Gideon, shakes his head, "Thank you for doing this for me" he says eventually.

"No problem" I say and I slap him on the shoulder.

Gideon uses what's left of the morning logging into his office with his laptop and speaking to his lawyer, and taking numerous calls. He doesn't join us for lunch but eats alone in my study. It's nearly 2pm when he eventually emerges.

"Cross Industries still standing?" I ask facetiously.

"It is, I have a highly capable team in place to handle things in my absence," he says.

"I bet they have all been shitting themselves, because you have been off the radar for a couple of days though," I say.

He nods, "I may have had to smooth a few ruffled feathers," he says wryly.

As we are chatting, Chris joins us, "Are we going to head off to see John Flynn then?" he asks.

I look at my watch and nod. We go in search of our wives who are discussing baby things and I ask them if they are going to join us, they both immediately stand and go and fetch their coats, and this show of solidarity has clearly moved and touched Gideon but we all know what a massive thing this is for him, for the first time he will be sitting in a room with a shrink and considering what happened to him the last time he did we are all determined that we are going to be there to support him through it.


	63. Chapter 63

CHAPTER 63

We arrive at John Flynn's office and he is waiting for us, I had insisted he block out his entire afternoon and after a brief discussion outlining the reasons why, he agreed.

As we all troop in, he rises from his seat and greets us all individually, starting with me.

"Christian, good to see you," he says and shakes my hand warmly. He smiles and greets Ana and Eva and then turns his attention to Gideon, but I notice he doesn't make any effort to move closer to him.

"Gideon, welcome back to Seattle," he says kindly as he holds out his hand, letting Gideon decide whether or not to move closer to accept the handshake.

"Thank you John," Gideon replies and he takes a tentative step towards him and accepts the handshake, he then turns to introduce Chris, "John let me introduce my step father, Chris Vidal" he says.

"Welcome Chris, I'm John Flynn I have been helping Christian for many years, and more recently I started helping Gideon, via video link".

He turns his attention back to Gideon "so, this is a treat for me to actually have you here in my office, now I want this to be comfortable for you, so I will follow your lead," John says.

He gestures to the seats, "Shall we?" he asks politely. Gideon hesitates and then gripping Eva's hand he takes a seat it doesn't escape anyone that he has chosen the seat with a clear path and view to the door.

We all sit down and John takes his usual seat and waits patiently.

"I know I don't have to tell any of you that anything spoken about in this room, doesn't leave it under any circumstances and it is treated in total confidentiality, but I have to legally say it," he says, everyone nods in agreement.

"So who is going to start the ball rolling?" he asks eventually after a few moments of silence.

Gideon sighs, "I had a nightmare last night, I thought I was turning the corner as I hadn't had one in a couple of months, then last night... and it was different, it was different to all the other ones I've had before," he says.

"What was different Gideon, what do you remember?" John asks gently.

"It was a mixture, as we've previous discussed, my nightmares have been either about my father – or should I say Geoffrey Cross and his death, or Hugh and the abuse, but last night was a mixture. I don't remember all of it, but I remember Hugh... raping me and I saw my father… erm I mean Geoff out the corner of my eye, I begged him to help me, but he said it wasn't his place to help me and that he had more important things to do, he turned and walked away and left me there... I begged him… but he didn't come back," he stops and puts his head down and we all stare at him unable to move or say anything.

John is making notes and then he leans forward, I notice he makes slow deliberate movements, much like Ana did with me when getting me used to her touch, I realise immediately that this is so that Gideon doesn't freak out, as he still has a deep mistrust of shrinks, I listen as he speaks gently to Gideon.

"Putting the aspects of Hugh in the dream to one side, I want you to concentrate on the part about your father".

"He wasn't my father" Gideon spits.

John smiles kindly, "I think for the purposes of ease of discussion we will refer to him as your father at the moment if that is alright with you?"

I watch Gideon consider this and then nod.

"When you had previous dreams about your father what did they entail? You have previously avoided discussing the details of the nightmares concerning your father, but I think we should explore this today, it's time Gideon," John persuades.

Gideon looks up and there are tears in his eyes, "previously, they were mainly about the day he killed himself…because…" he stops and Eva immediately encourages him to continue and she wraps her arms around him. Gideon responds and buries his head in her neck and clings to her and the silence spreads out for a few long moments.

"I was the one who found him with his brains blown out" he mumbles and there are audible gasps from everyone in the room which makes Gideon lift his head and look around.

"I was a little fucking kid and I really didn't need to see that, I heard the gun shot in his study and I went and I was the one who found him, that is what I dreamt about practically every fucking night for years, until I got a better nightmare to replace it... of... of Hugh raping me".

I watch as Eva immediately turns and wraps her arms back around him as he dissolves into tears. Chris moves and sits on his other side and puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Ok Gideon take a moment," John says and he stands and goes to fetch a bottle of water from a small fridge in the corner of the room.

"Gideon" he says carefully and almost at arm's length he holds the bottle out to Gideon.

"Thank you," Gideon replies as he accepts it and then he quickly opens the bottle and gulps down the water.

"OK?" John asks quietly.

Gideon nods but doesn't say anything more.

"Ok then, while you take a moment, I'd like to talk to Chris," he says turning his attention towards Chris Vidal.

"Me?" Chris asks looking up in surprise and John nods.

"Chris, when did you find out about what had happened to Gideon – I'm talking about the abuse he endured?" He asks.

I watch as Gideon lifts up his head to listen. "Erm, I'm not exactly sure of the date, it's all been a blur, since I did find out to be honest - a couple of months or so ago, maybe longer I think? It could have been at the beginning of the year? I don't remember, but Eva and Ana had gone and confronted Dr Lucas and got him to confess that he lied to Elizabeth and then they came to the house and confronted Elizabeth. They also had evidence which showed Christopher's out of control sibling rivalry and downright hatred – misplaced hatred, due in part to what had happened when Gideon was a child. I was horrified, I had no idea about any of it, and I had no idea about what had happened to Gideon, about Elizabeth taking him to the paediatrician, nothing. I knew a little about Christopher's attitude towards Gideon, but I always put that down to jealousy of the fact Gideon was so successful, you see people have always approached Christopher hoping to get to Gideon through him and that used to piss him off. I know he always felt in Gideon's shadow, but I never knew the extent of hatred he held and the fact he had heard Gideon being abused as a child and covered it up".

He stops and shakes his head sadly, "But the fact that I had no idea of what happened to Gideon... I should have been told at the time, she should have fucking told me!" Chris says and I see his hands ball into fists.

"How did you feel Chris, when you found out all this?" John asks.

"Destroyed, absolutely destroyed. I took Gideon on when I married his mother, I knew he was part of the package, and I willingly took on the role of guardian, step father and protector and took it on with my eyes open. I knew that he was a confused and grieving little boy who had just had his entire world turned upside down and I vowed to be there for him to try and help him get through it, but I failed, completely. First of all I failed to see exactly how damaged Gideon had been by the death of his father... of the man who at that point in time he believed was his father, I knew it had affected him, any idiot could see that but the extent of trauma, I had no idea he had seen his father lying dead, that is new information today. I had no fucking idea - no child should witness that, that's another thing Elizabeth kept from me".

He turns to face Gideon, "but I swear that I have always loved you like my own," he almost begs Gideon to believe him; "of course I was happy when we had Christopher and Ireland but as far as I am concerned _you_ are my eldest son, but I have failed you in every way possible as a father. I failed to see the extent of the trauma and grief you were experiencing, and when I eventually got you a therapist I picked one who violated you and I failed to protect you against him and I let you leave our house and make your way in the world totally alone. I failed in every way possible as a father". He says sadly.

"It's not your fault, it's all been one huge lack of communication, I just assumed my mother had told you and that you didn't believe me either, it never occurred to me that you didn't even know," Gideon says.

"She failed to tell us all a lot of things, but you were a child who was let down by his mother, badly. It wasn't your place to tell me, you had done the right thing and told your mother who you thought you could trust, and then she failed you," Chris says bitterly.

Gideon nods, "I have no point of reference really, for what a father should be like. I hardly knew my father or should I say Geoffrey Cross, he was always working, always out making money, the few occasions we did have I treasured, like that time on the beach. I love beaches because of that time, building sand castles as a child, but now I know the truth about him… when I remember it I don't see it like I always previously remembered it, its like a fog has lifted and I am seeing things clearly for the first time in my life. My mother had to force him to come out and sit with us that day on the beach, as he was still working even on holiday, and he sat there but he didn't want to be with us he complained about leaving his work and he left soon after that photograph was taken, I had just blanked out that memory as I wanted a good memory of him".

John looks at him and smiles, "do you have any memories with Chris growing up?" he asks.

Gideon thinks, "I remember him teaching me to ride my bike, he ran beside me through Central Park holding the seat, I remember mom was sitting watching, with Christopher in her arms", Gideon says as he thinks back through the years.

We hear Chris chuckle and I look and he is shaking his head as he recalls that time, "Yes I remember that, it nearly killed me, you refused to ride if I didn't hold on, but then I let go and you just went and didn't look back," he says smiling at the happy memory.

"My God, yes I remember, I kept asking if you were holding on and I realised you had let go and I was riding by myself" Gideon says.

He suddenly looks shocked as he remembers something else, "Shit! The good memory I have, of building that sandcastle – it was you! It wasn't my dad, the first year you took us all away after you married my mother… you actually wanted to be there, you wanted to help me build the sandcastle, you reached out to me, you wanted to be there and what did I do? I had a tantrum and smashed them and I shouted at you, telling you I wanted my dad, and not you - shit, it's all coming back to me, you tried to be a father to me and I just pushed you away".

"You were traumatised and grieving, and I failed to realise the full extent of it," Chris retorts.

John is busy scribbling and then he turns towards Gideon once more, "Ok, thank you for that Chris, now what I want you to do Gideon, is think about what you want to achieve in life, which I'm sure is going to be difficult as you have achieved so much already at such a young age," John says.

Gideon smiles "No John, that's easy," he says as he looks lovingly at Eva and grips her hand tightly, he places his other hand on her bump.

"I want to be a good husband and a good father and not fuck either job up, all the money I have made means shit compared to this woman and the baby she is carrying, I wouldn't survive it if she lost faith in me and left, it's as simple as that," he says.

Eva wraps her arm around him and whispers in his ear and presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Ok Gideon, taking what you have just said into consideration, do you think anything which has happened in the past can impact on that goal to be a good father and husband?" John asks.

I watch Gideon think for a moment and then it's like a light bulb has gone off, the expression on his face is incredulous.

"Geoffrey Cross wasn't any sort of father to me, he was selfish and he cared only about himself, so in reality its no great loss that he wasn't actually my father, Joel Cross was the same – sorry Christian but he was, but Chris tried to be my dad and kept trying, even though I behaved badly and pushed him away".

Chris shakes his head adamantly at this but Gideon carries on pressing his point.

"Yes I did, Chris stop making excuses for me I pushed you away".

He pauses and you can almost see the cogs turning in his brain as he is working everything out.

"And although Lucas and my mother alienated me by lying and calling me a liar, Chris didn't know, and it was me who pushed him away, because of what my mother believed, and yet here he is, now when I need support he is here by my side".

I watch as he looks at Chris, and waves his hand towards him.

"He is my dad, there may be no blood bond between us, but he is my dad. I need to forget Geoffrey and Joel Cross and concentrate on the father I have right here, right now. The man who willingly took the job and who I have always had, without even realising it and the man who refuses to give up on me. He can help me, he can advise me and show me how to be a good father" he says.

I watch as Gideon stands up, Chris follows and the two men embrace warmly.

Then Gideon turns and looks at John with a determined expression, "That dream last night wasn't me losing my father. That was my subconscious telling me that if he had been there, he wouldn't have done anything anyway. He wasn't cut out to be a father, any more than Joel, any more than my mother was cut out to be a mom, and they were all just too selfish".

Gideon's eyes start flashing as he is piecing things together in his mind, gaining clarity for the first time in his life.

"But I won't be like that, my daughter will always know I love her, and she along with Eva will always come first for me".

He gets up and starts to pace, "I _have_ family, I have people who love me. I have everything I need, I just need to accept them and let them in. I have a beautiful wife who is as necessary to me as breathing, and who I am totally devoted to, I have a daughter who is not born yet but will be the apple of my eye and who I swear I will love and protect and raise well. I have a sister and I have two brothers, I have a sister in law who is carrying my niece... and... I have my dad" he says looking at Chris.

He paces a bit more "I'm also a honorary Grey" he says with a small grin and looks towards me as he says this.

I nod, "Yes, but remember I warned you, that isn't as good as it sounds," I say flippantly, and I watch as he laughs.

"Christian, Grace is the epitome of everything a mother should be, if I am an honorary Grey I am going to claim her as my mom. She adopted you, Elliot and Mia and she has taken Ana as another daughter, I'm sure she has room for one more!" he says.

I look at him and I know in my heart that he isn't joking.

"What about your real mother Gideon?" John asks carefully.

Gideon's face hardens, and his eyes cloud and then he stills and he shakes his head, "I have no place in my life for people who want to hurt me, I am taking a leaf out of Ana's book here, she never looked back after ridding her life of her mother's toxic influence. I am more than half way there, we have been estranged for years, she made me believe that I wasn't worth loving, what mother does that? Eva has taught me that I am worth loving and I am now starting to believe it" he says as he begins pacing again.

I swear there is a looser more relaxed look about his walk as he moves, and he is clearly more animated and he looks I don't know... different somehow. I watch as Eva is watching him carefully and she glances at me her eyes shining. We are witnessing something extremely special here as Gideon is having an epiphany of epic proportions. It's been an almost explosive violent reaction and a remarkable thing to watch, I feel privileged to be here to see it.

I can't hold back any longer I stand and walk towards him, "You're going to be fine" I whisper in his ear as I embrace him.

"Thanks to you, if you hadn't organised all this today I would never have come to this realisation" he whispers back, then he turns to John, "and thank you too John, for helping me," he says gratefully.

John looks at Gideon with pride, "You have achieved far more today than I would have dreamed of, you need to build on these realisations you have come to and work on them, but as far as I can see the huge strides you have taken today, first of all in actually having the courage to come and see me in person and then coming to terms with the details of your past will help you to overcome the demons of the other issues still haunting you, and as you say, you need to let all these people in, all these people who love you and want what's best for you" he says.

I watch as Gideon nods at his words.

"When I return to New York I want to set up a regular therapy session via Skype so I can build on this, not the ad hoc system we have at the moment," he says firmly, and John nods in agreement.

He turns to Chris, "Perhaps you could sit in on some of them with me?" he asks uncertainly.

Chris beams at him, "Of course I could, call me and I will be right by your side" he says.

Much to John's surprise Gideon decides he wants to talk to John alone about the other aspects of his nightmare and considering what I witnessed him doing. I'm not surprised, but when we all stand to leave the room Gideon immediately reaches for Eva.

"Stay with me Angel" he says quietly and then he looks at John apologetically.

John holds up his hand, "You don't have to explain anything Gideon" he says.

The rest of us go and sit in the waiting room, as we wait the door opens and John pokes his head out.

"Christian, could you come in a moment?" he asks.

I immediately stand and head back into the office. I sit down and wait for someone to say something.

Gideon turns to me, "Christian, I want to thank you for last night, for taking care of me, I have no idea what you witnessed, but considering what I was dreaming at the time, it wasn't anything good," he says.

John waits a moment and then turns to me, "Christian, can you tell us what you saw?" he asks.

I shake my head firmly, "No, absolutely not!" I snap, "my brother was in anguish, and I will not divulge what I saw him doing," I say firmly.

Gideon turns to me, "No, Christian please - I need to know, I need to know what I do to myself, although I have a good idea, considering what I wake up with most of the time," he says.

I close my eyes, "I won't lie, as nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Gideon was naked he was lying on the bed, his back arched and he was screaming. He was telling someone to get off and leave him alone, he kept saying it hurt. He had his... he had... he had his hand on his... he was... look, I won't say he was masturbating as it was far too brutal… the action, it was horrific. There was nothing sexual about it; it was torture it was like he was punishing himself. I had to stop him. So I physically pulled his hand off and away from himself, and I grabbed his shoulders and shook him till he woke up". I stop speaking at look at my brother.

Gideon is looking down at the ground, shame consuming him and Eva has her arm around him and she is whispering in his ear. Eventually Gideon looks up.

"That is what Hugh did, he started slowly, and the more I struggled, the more violent he got, he wouldn't let go, and just kept going, he refused to stop till I came, so he could say I enjoyed it".

John looks kindly at him, "It's alright to admit that Gideon – it wasn't your fault. What do you feel when you hear what Christian has just said?" he asks.

He shakes his head but says nothing, I step in, "Gideon it wasn't your fault, you were abused and violated, these dreams are a manifestation of that and we need to figure out a way of ridding you of them and giving you peace of mind," I say.

Gideon looks up sadly "and how am I supposed to do that? Hugh is dead" he says.

John leans forward, "Yes, but his brother in law isn't," he says quietly.

I watch as Gideon sits up straight at this, "Eva and Ana secured a confession, the Statute of Limitations ran out years ago, but there is nothing stopping me pursuing a civil claim against him, we have the evidence – I have the resources and the means, I'm going to fucking destroy him," he says a steely glint appearing in his eyes.

John looks up, "I do believe in your particular case, some sort of confrontation or retribution is needed for you to get the closure and release you need for this. However, I would strongly urge you to operate within the law" he says.

Gideon smiles, "Oh I'm not going to hurt him… well I am, but not physically. I am going to destroy his reputation and his livelihood, I am going to make him regret the day that he covered up for his brother in law and lied to my mother," he says.

John looks at Gideon, "What are your reasons for doing this Gideon?" he asks.

Gideon thinks for a moment, "Because I want to be rid of these nightmares, I want to be safe to be around at night, I want to spend the whole fucking night with my wife in bed beside me, I want to be a normal married man and I want to be a good husband and father" he says.

John nods and smiles, "That is a good answer. I would have had concerns and reservations, if you had mentioned revenge, but this is coming from a place of positivity," he says.

I leave the room and Gideon continues to talk alone with John along with Eva. When they emerge, Eva is holding Gideon's hand tightly.

Eva and Ana head back to the house while I head to GEH to oversee some business issues, Gideon asks if he can come with me and I agree. I am actually quite keen to show my empire off to my brother. Chris decides to accompany Eva and Ana back to the house.

As we are travelling to Grey House, I get a call from Ireland. She is letting me know the jet has arrived and that they are now leaving New York, I glance at my watch my jet will take just over 5 hours to travel the distance so with the time difference they should be landing here in Seattle late this evening. I put this to her and assure her that someone will be there to meet her and thank her again for doing this.

Gideon watches and listens to the one sided exchange, and as I hang up he casually asks who it was.

"Who was that?" he asks.

I look sheepishly at him, "Ireland" I say carefully.

"Ireland? As in my sister Ireland?" he asks sharply.

"Yes" I reply I am watching for an adverse reaction but at the moment he seems quite calm.

"Why is Ireland coming to Seattle?" he asks mildly.

"Because I asked her to, because I think you need all your family around you at this moment, I did it first thing this morning and after events this afternoon I believe I made the right decision, I sent my jet to fetch her," I say a tad defensively.

I watch him process this and then he smiles at me, "Thank you" he says.

I am encouraged enough by his reaction to inform him about Christopher as well. "That's not all, Christopher is accompanying her" I say.

This piece of information appears to throw Gideon somewhat.

"Christopher?" he asks.

I nod, "I spoke to him at length this morning and filled him in on developments and he admitted to me he had heard your nightmares when he was a kid and he also told me your mom heard them and accused you of lying and seeking attention, he said he is willing to do whatever it takes to establish a relationship with you, I got from him that he was very remorseful about all the wasted years".

I stop and watch as a myriad of emotions cross Gideon's face with this information. I wait patiently for him to make some comment.

"I'm surprised he agreed to come" he says eventually.

"Well believe it or not, but he too appears to love you" I say.

I can tell he doesn't believe me, so I say no more on the subject.

I glance out the window and see we have arrived at GEH. As we get out the car, Gideon takes in Grey House.

"The Crossfire is better" he says with a grin.

I can't help but grin at that, "No it's not" I retort, as I lead him inside.

**oooOOOooo**

When Gideon and I get back, we are surprised to discover we have a house full of people, I realise immediately Ana and Eva have been busy while we were at Grey House.

I look around and see my mother and father beaming at us, Elliot, Mia and Kate are all there as well. As we walk in, Mia shrieks and launches herself at Gideon, and he quickly has to open his arms to catch her. I take pity on him and gently pull Mia away.

"Calm down Mia" I whisper.

Then Elliot appears, embracing Gideon warmly, "This is fantastic, now I have two kid brothers to harass," he says playfully.

I turn to Gideon who looks completely bewildered by this welcome.

"See I told you, being a honorary Grey isn't all its cracked up to be, now you have to deal with these two!" I say.

"Fuck off Christian," Elliot says good naturedly.

"ELLIOT LANGUAGE!" my mother shouts from across the room.

I snigger, "yeah Elliot, watch your mouth!"

I laugh out loud as Elliot flips me off only to be seen by my mother, who marches up to him and slaps him on the hand.

"Elliot will you behave" she says, and then she turns to me, "and you behave yourself as well Christian," she says.

"What did I do?" I ask innocently.

I love it, my brother is in his 30's and I am 28 years old and yet our mother still chastises us like she did when we were children.

I watch as my mother glares at me and then turns her attention to Gideon and hugs him, I watch as a strange expression crosses his face.

"Ana and Eva told me you wanted me as a surrogate mom, well, if that is truly what you want I am more than happy to fulfil that role for you" she says gently.

I smile as Gideon sucks in a sharp breath and in a voice thick with emotion thanks my mother for her kindness.

I watch as my father steps forward, this could be awkward, but instead of approaching Gideon my father makes a beeline towards Chris instead.

"Welcome to our family, you do realise as Gideon's father you also have a place as a honorary Grey" he says.

I see Chris's astonished look quickly morph into a huge genuine smile as he shakes my father's hand.

"Thank you Carrick" he says.

"No problem. If I can be of assistance at any time, don't hesitate to call me" my dad says seriously and hands Chris his card.

He turns to Gideon, "the same goes for you too" he says, and he hands Gideon a card.

Gideon nods as he looks at the card in his hand, "Thank you Carrick, that means a lot," he says.

I am impressed by the way my father handled that, he didn't want to step on any toes by offering to be more to Gideon than what Gideon could possible want. I do believe he is serious though about looking at my mother as a maternal figure and I know Grace would be more than happy to fulfil the role.

He looks around the room still a little bemused, "Thank you everyone, this was unexpected, but very welcome. I'm not sure what to say, my family has expanded considerably in the last 24 hours and I feel blessed that you all have taken me so willingly into your family".

Mia giggles, "It's not who brought you into the world who is your family, it's who brings you into their hearts!" She says.

Everyone stares at her, "Shit Mia that was pretty deep," Elliot says eventually breaking the silence.

"Elliot language!" my mother says again.

My family stay for a while longer, but decide to leave before Ireland and Christopher arrive as they don't want to overwhelm them, but they all agree to return the following day for dinner to meet them. When they go, Mia once again gives Gideon a fierce hug and has be peeled off him, Elliot shakes his hand and slaps his shoulder.

"Laters bro," he says with a grin, I watch as Gideon's face lights up with amusement at these words and he returns the embrace.

As my parents go to leave, Carrick shakes Gideon's hand once more and reminds him he is only a phone call away if he needs anything, and tells him not to hesitate to call, and my mother once more envelopes him in a loving hug.

I see him swallow hard at this gesture, and kiss my mother on the cheek as she leaves.

"Wow!" he says once we are alone.

I grin, "I think we have our wives to thank for this evening" I say as I land him a generous glass of bourbon.

Gideon thinks for a moment, and after throwing back a large gulp of the drink he looks at me very seriously.

"You know, the warmth and love I got from Elliott and Mia... well Ireland and I are slowly getting there, but Christopher and I have never had that" he says sadly.

I snort with laughter, "the question is would you want that much enthusiasm from Ireland and Christopher?" I ask, trying to add a little humour.

Gideon looks at me seriously, "Christian, compared to nothing whatsoever for years, yes I would," he pauses to take another gulp of bourbon, "and another thing, there was more obvious love and affection, in that hug your mom gave me as she left, than I have ever received from my own mother," he adds.

I unconsciously smile when he mentions my mother, slightly taken aback by his words but I realise another superficial comment isn't appropriate.

"That's Grace, she has so much love to give, it's criminal she was never able to have her own children" I say.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, it was meant to be that way, she was meant to give her love to children who would never have known what it was like to be loved otherwise," he says.

We spend the evening talking, and all too soon it is time to go to the airport to meet Christopher and Ireland. At first I assume it will be just Gideon and I going, but Eva insists she wants to accompany Gideon and Chris asks if it's ok if he tags along and eventually we all end up going.

We arrive in time to see my jet landing and Taylor drives us on to the tarmac to meet it, the plan is Gideon is going to ride back with Eva, Chris, Ireland and Christopher in one SUV and we will follow in the other with Angus (who also insisted on coming with us) and Taylor. I watch as Taylor hands the keys of the SUV to Gideon.

We wait for the plane to taxi to a halt and for the steps to be fetched. Soon enough the doors open and Ireland flies out and down the steps and throws herself into Gideon's arms.

"Hi," she says to him, and she looks up into his face, "How are you, are you ok?" she asks anxiously.

"I'm fine, honestly," he says smiling indulgently at her.

A moment or so later, Christopher appears and awkwardly waits while Ireland monopolises our brother. As he waits he greets me politely and I reintroduce Ana as he met her at the confrontation with Eva, he nervously says hello to her then he turns his attention to Eva, he holds out his arms to her and she looks at him warily.

"Eva, I want to sincerely apologise for my behaviour, I was totally wrong and I will do whatever it takes to try and make amends for that," he says.

We are all watching now and waiting for Eva's next move. She steps forward, and puts her hand out and touches his arm, it's without a doubt a tense few moments especially when Eva finally accepts the hug from Christopher.

"Ok I accept your apology" she says as she accepts the hug from him.

"Thank you Eva – I won't let you down," Christopher pledges firmly.

But it's the moment when Gideon and Christopher hug which is the most moving, we all watch as they stare at each other for a moment and then Christopher mutters an apology before they embrace, admittedly it is a little guarded and awkward but the fact it happened at all after the years of estrangement and negativity between the two brothers is a huge achievement in itself. Watching the scene in front of me, I am totally convinced I have done the right thing bringing Ireland and Christopher to Seattle.


	64. Chapter 64

CHAPTER 64

_The next day..._

**(GIDEON)**

I am in total bewildered awe of my brothers – both of them. First of all Christian, for organising everything and bringing in Ireland and Christopher from New York and for knowing instinctively the right the thing to do, and Christopher for actually giving a damn and flying out to Seattle.

At first I assumed that he had only done it for Ireland's sake, as they have always shared an enviably close bond, although admittedly in recent times since thanksgiving, that bond hasn't been quite so rock solid since she found out about me and what happened to me. Despite what Christian had told me, I automatically assumed that he felt it was his duty as her elder brother to accompany her across the country, but when he stood there in the dark on the tarmac making his peace with my wife and then his reaction to me, I was speechless. I am still wary of his motives, over twenty years of hatred can't be wiped out with one deed, but there have been moments of progress over the past few months with the therapy he has been getting, but this was the first big gesture on his part, so I am prepared to keep an open mind on this.

Christian had tried to tell me Christopher was eager to do what ever it took, but I didn't believe it until that moment when he embraced me on the tarmac at Sea Tac.

Christopher also seems to have hit it off with Christian, I watched them talking together this morning, I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. Watching Christopher getting on so well with Christian makes me feel irrationally pushed out once more, I am just getting used to the fact that Christian is my brother and with the bad blood between myself and Christopher and the fact Christian and I _are _so close, I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at this turn of events and a fear that I am going to lose my family once again. I know it's stupid and unreasonable to feel this, as deep down I am reasonably certain Christian would never allow that to happen, and so I am certainly not going to say anything as I will just probably make myself look a fool.

"Gideon are you ok?"

I am drawn from my brooding and look at my wife and smile at her.

"I'm fine" I say simply.

I look around, Christopher and I are travelling with Eva and Chris to John Flynn's office, Christian had insisted we did this and had argued that after the progress of yesterday, what did we have to lose? I couldn't offer any counter argument to that logic and Christopher had seemed very eager to take him up on it.

"It's ok Gideon; you know you will be safe in John's office don't you?" Eva asks warily.

I am surprised by her comment as that thought or those particular worries hadn't actually gone through my mind, yesterday had been so monumental for me actually stepping foot in a therapists office, but then again everything else that had happened while I was in there and the realisations I had come to were also pretty monumental. I don't say anything though as I am happy for Eva to believe this is my reason for my brooding.

I just smile and nod and grip her hand tighter.

The atmosphere in the car is thick and heavy, nobody is speaking. Ireland didn't want to participate and if I am honest, I am relieved by this as she and I have worked out things privately, when she found out about the abuse I had suffered back at Thanksgiving and our relationship is progressing nicely without the help of therapy. Plus she has witnessed enough over the years of Christopher and I trying to destroy each other, so we need to work this out between us. Chris insisted on accompanying us, as did Eva. I wasn't sure about that, but Christopher was also keen for Eva to join us as he wants to use this session to make amends to her as well, something which I am pleased about, as she didn't deserve what he did to her.

"What's Ireland doing while we are at Flynn's?" I ask randomly, in an effort to break the oppressive silence.

Eva looks at me and smiles reassuringly, "She's with Ana. Kate and Mia are supposed to be coming over and they are all going to be doing something together, she'll be fine".

I nod, satisfied that my baby sister is safe.

"Who is Kate and Mia?" Christopher asks.

Eva looks at him, "Kate is an old friend of Ana's, they were roommates at college, and it's down to Kate that Ana met Christian in the first place, plus she is also Elliot's girlfriend – that is Elliot Grey, as in Christian's elder brother and Mia is Christian's little sister. They are all lovely people, you will meet them this evening when we get back, as I think Christian has organised for them all to come for dinner this evening, so you can meet them properly" she says.

Christopher nods, "I like Christian, he seems like a good person," he says.

I nod firmly, "he is, he has faced untold adversity in his life and emerged so strong and successful, he is an inspiration. He can come across as aloof and cold at times, but he has such a huge capacity for compassion and love, it's unbelievable when you consider his experiences" I say.

Christopher looks at me, "I'm still a little confused by the link to you. From the publicly available stuff about him and his life which I have found out since I spoke to him, I found out that when he was a little kid, he was found in Detroit slum with his dead mother who was a drug addicted prostitute, now how the hell did that happen, if his father was also your dad?" he asks.

I feel my moral outrage rising at Christopher's words, not for what he said, but the implication behind them as he is totally right - how the hell _did_ that happen and why did Joel let that happen?

"What did you find out, and where did you find it out from?" I ask, wondering how Christopher got his information on Christian.

Christopher shrugs, "I Googled him, the basic facts are all public record. His early life and how he was adopted by the Grey's and since the trial he was involved in last year when his wife was kidnapped, the details from that were also all over the internet, and then that one recently – the helicopter sabotage one. Well all the papers were full of what Ana said in court about what that guy on trial did to him when he was a little kid, and it all built quite the picture of his early life" he says.

I nod, I realise I can safely tell Christopher all I know about Christian without breaking any confidences.

"It's a long story, but in a nutshell the man who I thought was my uncle is my father. Our mother was screwing around with her first husband's brother and I was conceived as a result of that affair, but my uncle – or should I say father was also screwing around with Christian's mother at the same time and got her pregnant, with Christian. However, when he found out he dumped her and denied the child".

"Yeah, I know I get that but what I mean is, how do you get from that to what happened?" he pushes.

I sigh, "Before our mother married Chris and had you and Ireland she was married to Geoffrey Cross, who was a complete bastard, and was too busy making money out of illegal deals to pay attention to his wife. His brother Joel Cross, who was also a complete bastard and was based in Detroit but he made regular trips to New York to see his brother and it seems, to fuck our mother and show her the attention his brother wasn't giving her. At the same time, Joel was seeing a young girl in Detroit called Ella McIntyre and he professed to be in love with her, although how much he _really_ loved her is debatable, considering he was fucking our mother at the same time behind her back. But as I say he allegedly loved her – that was until she fell pregnant, and then he dropped her, he denied paternity and refused to have anything to do with her or the child. Apparently, she was also disowned by her own family, but she was determined to keep her child and do her best for him, so she had the baby and tried to bring him up alone, and that baby was Christian, and by all accounts she was doing a good job until she got in with Tony Garrett. That's the guy who was on trial for the Charlie Tango sabotage, he used her, he got her hooked on crack cocaine and pimped her out making money out of her prostituting herself. He also abused Christian, you have to remember he was a toddler at the time, only about 2-3 years old, but he kicked him across rooms punched and kicked him and he stubbed out his cigarettes on his back and chest, which left him with a shit load of physical and emotional scars".

"You're kidding?" Christopher says.

I shake my head, "No I'm not," I say simply.

"Go on," Christopher urges.

"Anyway, his biological mother died of a drugs overdose and Christian spent about 4 days with her dead body before he was eventually found and taken to a hospital. He was malnourished and dehydrated and that's before you even get to the list of injuries he had, courtesy of that animal Garrett. Grace Grey was the doctor on duty when he was brought in, and she not only nursed him back to health, but she and her husband Carrick adopted him, they had already adopted Elliot and then later they moved from Detroit to Seattle and adopted Mia. Christian grew up with numerous issues stemming from his start in life, and when he was a teenager he was taken advantage of by Sybil Hanson, although he knew her as Elena Lincoln and she fucked him up even more than he already was. I won't go into details but I'm sure you already know the jist of it, from the trial last year".

Christopher nods, "that was weird the way you two were linked like that, and that guy who was the former step dad of Christian's wife, was also involved and linked in, and what they did to her. That was sick, especially when she was pregnant, was that the reason she miscarried?" Christopher asks.

I nod sadly as my mind goes back to that awful night. "I believe it was an indirect factor, and so does Christian. It was a couple of months or so afterwards but the stress and physical abuse Ana went through during the kidnap obviously wasn't helpful and we all believe it played a part," I say.

My memories, not to mention my own lingering guilt must show on my face as Eva squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring glance, she knows only too well of my own feelings of guilt, remorse and shame surround that whole episode. I see Christopher watching the silent exchange between us and he looks at me questioningly

I quickly answer with a reasonable explanation, "We were there when that happened, when she lost the baby. We had a grandstand view of everything that went down that night. It destroyed him, he saw his then girlfriend lose their baby and he came close to losing her as well," I say quietly, and I feel Eva grip my hand tightly again.

I shiver as I remember how much of a close thing it really was, and how Christian asked us never to tell Ana the full extent of how close a call it was, but it was touch and go there for a while, as she had lost so much blood, so quickly. It was a dreadful night and one which I will always feel indirectly responsible for.

Silence once again settles over us until we pull up outside John Flynn's office and for the second time in as many days we are shaking hands with John Flynn.

"Gideon, hello again, Chris, Eva" John says as he politely greets them.

"Hello again, John, this is my brother Christopher," I say as I introduce Christopher who is standing silently beside me.

"Welcome to Seattle Christopher, I'm very pleased to meet you," John says warmly.

We all head into his office and I take the same seat as I took the previous day and Eva sits beside me, I am more nervous about today than I was yesterday, yesterday was in a way on familiar ground with my night terrors, although it ended with the me discussing my father and my childhood experiences something which I had never done before, and the whole session ended with me having this momentous realisation of the state of my life. I am not expecting anything like that today, but I am keen to try and understand what it is that Christopher hates so much about me.

John sits down in his seat and picks up his tablet and waits, we all look at one another, each one of us waiting for someone to say something, when it becomes clear nobody is going to speak first, John clears his throat.

"Perhaps you could start things off Chris?" he asks looking at my step father, who looks a little startled.

"Could you explain from your perspective, the relationship between Gideon and Christopher when they were children? We touched on this yesterday so it might be helpful for Christopher to see how his relationship with his brother, was perceived by other people" he suggests.

Chris nods and leans forward clasping his hands in front of him.

"Before I start, I want to make it clear I don't blame either of you. You both have been damaged by circumstances and by other people's actions, and neither of you are to blame for what happened, when you were children".

He stops and looks at us and we both nod, Chris seems satisfied we have accepted that and then he closes his eyes and begins to talk.

"Gideon was a difficult child, which we established yesterday wasn't his fault, and I regret deeply that I had that view of him. He had these monumental tantrums and when Christopher started copying him, was when we decided to get him help – or so we thought, but we put him into the hands of a paedophile" he pauses and shakes his head sadly.

"This seemed to make Christopher's sibling rivalry more pronounced, and he kicked off quite regularly. I always just assumed they would grow out of it as they got older, and I hoped they would get closer, but the opposite seemed to happen, and then the more successful Gideon became the more resentful Christopher appeared to get. They had a terrible, violent argument when Gideon took control of Vidal records, I saw his reasoning behind his actions and I was grateful for his help, he saw we were in severe financial difficulty and he wanted to help and it was the only way he could do it. His money carried us for a long time, until we managed to turn things around, but the way Christopher saw it, despite me trying to tell him otherwise was that Gideon was swooping in and taking away his and Ireland's inheritance, would you agree Christopher?"

Chris stops and turns to Christopher, Christopher nods but doesn't say a word.

"What he refused to see was that had Gideon not done what he did, there would have been no inheritance for him and Ireland to claim. I believed that Christopher felt he was in Gideon's shadow, as he was so overwhelmingly successful, and people wanted a part of it, and when they wanted an introduction to Gideon, they used Christopher, hoping to get to Gideon through him".

He stops talking and thinks for a moment.

"This jealousy and downright hatred manifested itself in cruel behaviour, and it appears that Eva got caught in that crossfire when he tried to manipulate people from Eva's past to hurt her. What his goal in that was, I'm still not entirely sure, but my guess is to indirectly hurt Gideon and try and drive a wedge between him and Eva. I was shocked and ashamed when I heard the full extent of what he had done, but now I have been made aware of all the information, I believe that there is one person who is to blame for all the years of heartache and bitterness and that is their mother, if she had been totally honest and open with me about what had happened to Gideon from the start, I would've had a better understanding on how to deal with his tantrums. He saw his father dead for god's sake, and the fact she didn't tell me that was bad enough, but to also leave me in ignorance of the sexual abuse was reprehensible".

He pauses and Christopher is sitting completely transfixed by everything he is saying. He looks totally astounded by what he is hearing, he glances at me and I can see the regret in his eyes.

"The way she used Christopher's immature views of his brother, to validate her alienation of Gideon is totally unforgivable. She picked the word of a lying paediatrician, and a small child consumed with sibling rivalry and jealousy, rather than those of a child who was crying out for help".

He pauses again, and looks directly at Christopher who has put his head down in shame as he hears these words.

"I don't blame you for that Christopher, I really don't, you were too young to understand the ramifications of your actions – but she was old enough to know better, after everything that has come out recently, and with hindsight from what I have witnessed over the years, I now also wholeheartedly believe she blamed Gideon for her own failings".

I prick my ears up at that comment and it sets my mind working, I hadn't considered that before but it explains an awful lot, the way she treated me after my father's suicide… Geoff's suicide, and the way she comprehensively rebooted her life and discarded everything to do with the Cross name, including me. I return my attention back to Chris, who is still speaking.

"The way I now see it after the revelations of the past few days is, she had this secret that she kept, that Geoffrey Cross wasn't actually Gideon's father, and both Joel and Geoffrey Cross weren't exactly fine upstanding men and so I believe she projected her feelings about them on to Gideon, and she punished Gideon for _her_ actions and Christopher picked up on this subconsciously, but he was too young to fully understand the meaning of what she was doing. He just saw it as Gideon getting all the attention and this confirmed and validated his own issues with Gideon, it's all a complete mess but if we can sort it out and get to the root of the issues, I'm hopeful its not too late for you two to build some sort of positive relationship".

Chris stops speaking and looks at us both hopefully, the shocked silence that follows is uncomfortable, until Christopher stands up and starts to pace, much like I did the previous day.

"I'd like to speak now if that's ok?" he asks warily looking around.

John nods and gestures to him to continue.

I watch Christopher pacing, there is another silence before he takes a deep breath and eventually begins to speak, and he starts by looking directly at me.

"Gideon, do you know something - dad is absolutely spot on with what he just said. I came to my own realisation the other day when our mother said something to me, it was like I suddenly saw her for what she was and because of that, along with the help I have been getting in New York, with my issues regarding you, it was at that moment I realised I have been blaming the wrong person all along, for everything that has been wrong with my life. I took sibling rivalry and took it to a whole new level, I allowed my childish jealousy of you to eat me away until all I could see was to destroy you, and that idea consumed me completely. I now know I was wrong, and I really want my brother in my life, I saw how you are with Christian, you two were solid even before it even came out that you were brothers – and I want that with you. I know I have a lifetime of shit to make amends for, and I totally understand if you can never forgive the diabolical things I have done to you over the years, but please believe me I want to do this, I want my brother".

He stops and looks pleadingly at me, I have to say I am astounded, I never expected anything like that to come out of his mouth. I nod at him, but one part of his speech is ringing in my head and I need to know more.

"What did our mother say to you, which changed your opinion of me?" I ask calmly.

I feel Eva grip my hand tightly, and from that small gesture I know instinctively that she had picked up on that as well and is interested to find out.

Christopher shakes his head sadly, and starts rambling, his words tumbling out of his mouth. He is clearly agitated as he keeps looking at Chris for guidance and then glancing at John, as if he wants to tell me, but doesn't want to at the same time.

"I didn't mention this to Christian when he phoned because I was still working it out for myself, I mean I said I heard... but I... and I was totally blown away by the fact you two were brothers, and then Ireland called me and said Christian had phoned her and wanted us to come to Seattle... anyway I'm getting off track... she, mother that is, said stuff... I was disgusted but, she said, I can't do this, I can't tell him what she said " he says and looks at Chris helplessly, I watch as John steps in.

"Christopher, please slow down and take your time, there's no rush" he says kindly.

"I _need_ to know what she said" I say quietly but firmly.

Christopher looks at me and nods and then he takes another deep breath and starts pacing once more.

"I was actually there at the house when you Skyped her – not in the same room but I was listening, eavesdropping if you like and I heard most of what was said, she didn't realise I had. I listened and I heard what you asked her about your dad and who he was, and more importantly I heard her response, and how selfish she was. All she was worried about was the fact you knew and who told you. She was probably concerned what you were going to do with that information, and how it would affect her. I heard dad defending you and then Christian stepping in and defending you and what she said to him was completely unforgivable. Every person is entitled to know where they came from" he pauses and smiles.

"I heard how that set Ana off and I heard her defending both of you and then Eva stepped in and well and she along with Ana just ripped her to shreds, and I realised there and then, mom was the one who was wrong. I had been slowly coming to this realisation since I started having my therapy sessions after it all came out about the abuse you suffered and how she didn't believe you, and this just answered all my questions for me and then she compounded that by what she said to me afterwards. She made me realise _she_ was the one who put the sibling rivalry and negative stuff in my head from an early age, and has been drip feeding it to me all these fucking years".

"What did she say?" I ask again.

Christopher licks his lips nervously, "I heard her terminate the connection, she was muttering to herself about the way everyone had rallied around you, and the way Eva in particular had gone at her – she really doesn't like Eva," he pauses and smiles at that and I hear Eva snort.

"The feeling is mutual," she mutters quietly.

"I think she feels threatened by her, because she can't manipulate her and because Eva can see her for what she really is and isn't afraid to say so and say it as it is, she doesn't sugar coat it. Mom likes to have this veneer of… I don't know... I can't think of the right word, she likes to keep things on an even keel, even if you hate someone's guts you don't come out and say it to them, there has to be a public display of unity and pretending everything is fine but Eva just blows straight through that and goes for the jugular every time, as I have discovered on numerous occasions".

He stops and smiles at Eva and I squeeze Eva's hand.

"Yes she does, and I love her for it," I say quietly, "please continue Christopher," I add, urging him to carry on.

He nods, "I heard a shout and a crash, so I went into the room and she had flung the laptop across the room and smashed it, she had worked herself up into a real rage over what Eva and Ana had said to her – she obviously didn't like hearing the truth. She saw me and she came to me and hugged me tightly, and she said... she said... I still have you, you were always my favourite, you are my true son, I should have... I should have... "

He stops and shakes his head, "I can't say it, its just too appalling," he says.

"Please Christopher – just say it," I say.

"She said... I should have got rid of Gideon as soon as I found out I was pregnant, all he has ever done is bring me heartache, he may look like me but he is a Cross through and through".

He stops and looks at me, and Eva immediately throws herself at me and wraps herself around me and Chris just gasps in shock. I however am not shocked, I am not upset if anything I feel oddly vindicated that my feelings of being pushed out and set aside all my life are correct and not a figment of my imagination. I have always known my mother didn't love me enough, but the to hear she wanted to abort me and for her to admit this to someone else doesn't fill me with the horrified shock it should do it just confirms for me everything that I have ever suspected.

"It's not true, you are a good man Gideon and I love you," she says desperately, I wrap my arms around her and hold her to me.

Chris stands and walks over to Christopher, who is crying and looking anxiously towards me and hugs him.

I look at John who is just frozen in place with a stunned expression on his face, I don't believe he expected to hear anything like that. My attention returns to Chris who is desperately trying to console Christopher, and I feel a sudden resentment at his actions, an irrational feeling of being pushed out once more and I cling on to Eva even tighter.

"It's ok son, it's not your fault, she should never have said that, come here". Chris says soothingly.

As I watch them I am surprised when he turns his attention to me, "Gideon come here" he demands.

I hesitate and Eva releases me and urges me to go towards them, I stand and walk towards him still a little dazed by what I have just heard, Christopher's words echoing in my head, Chris envelopes me and Christopher tightly and speaks to us both.

"I was right, and I hate it that I was right, but you two need to focus on this and make something positive out of it, you have each other, you have Christian and Ireland and you have me. Gideon you also have Eva, I think this is the point in your life you have to decide with all the positive influences you now have, do you really want your mother, who is clearly nothing but negativity to be a part of it?" he says.

I pull away, "I have decided already that I want nothing more to do with my mother" I say firmly.

I sound and look decisive enough about this but internally I realise that I am still in turmoil and debating this, and then to my astonishment I realise that there is something deep inside me still wants some sort of link with my mother, despite everything that has just been confirmed for me and everything I suspected there is still that miniscule part, the small boy who just desperately wants his mom and who wants his mom to love him.

I think I know how Ana felt when making the same sort of decision about her own mother. I look at Christopher and he stares at me warily, neither of us seem to know what to do, there is still the barrier of everything which has previously happened, the hatred and mistrust which has been ingrained in both of us which is standing between us at this pivotal moment.

"Gideon, do you have anything you'd like to say?" John asks.

"No" I say curtly, I pause and look at John, "not yet, I'm still processing it," I add a little more politely.

John nods and clears his throat and then turns his attention back to Christopher, "Ok, this is clearly a very highly charged personal moment, and thank you for sharing what was obviously a very critical moment for you, but perhaps Christopher, could you continue now, as I'd like to hear how you viewed your childhood within the context of what you have just told us".

I sit down again next to Eva and reach silently for her hand and grip it tightly she presses a kiss to my shoulder and rests her head against me. Chris also sits but Christopher continues to pace, I get the feeling he wants to purge himself of everything.

"My earliest memories were of Gideon having these massive tantrums, he would shout and throw things and generally act up. I was scared of him to begin with; I had no idea why he did it. All I noticed was when he did, he always got mom and dad's attention, so in my mind I thought that because he was getting attention, he was getting the attention which I should have been getting, and so I copied him, as it seemed the perfectly logical and natural thing to do. He acts out he gets attention, so if I act out I would get attention too. I remember he had these nightmares, he would call out for his dad and he would be crying, telling him to get up. I had no idea what they were about and so I assumed he was just attention seeking again, our mother would go in to him when it happened and she shouted at him, and got angry with him, telling him to be quiet and stop it, which confirmed that theory for me. Eventually it was decided to put him into therapy, I was furious about that, once again I assumed he was getting all the attention that I perceived – wrongly perceived, I was missing out on. Then suddenly, after a about a year or so, the therapy suddenly stopped and our mother came to me and asked me if I had heard or seen anything happening between Gideon and his therapist. I had never been in on the sessions or took part in any way but I had always hung around outside the room and I had listened and I admit I had heard him screaming out a few times, I heard him shout 'leave me alone' and 'get off me' and 'stop it, it hurts', but I just thought it was Gideon just being Gideon, and you have to remember I was a young kid, so I also thought I'd be in trouble for eavesdropping so there was no way I was going to admit to anything, so I lied and said I'd had heard nothing".

He looks so desolate at this moment as he shakes his head sadly, he looks up at me, pleading with me to forgive him.

"I am so sorry I did that Gideon, I was a little kid and I really didn't know any better but I should have told the truth, can you ever forgive me?"

"It wouldn't have made any difference" I say quietly, "but I accept your apology… and yes I forgive you" I add.

As I say this I feel something shift inside me as if I am letting something go.

Christopher smiles weakly at me and continues to speak. "I remember Gideon being taken to the hospital or something and our mom being really upset, then a few days later they went again, and after that she didn't seem to want to have anything to do with Gideon. I was overjoyed, as I thought I now had my mothers undivided attention, which she gave, until she had Ireland. But Ireland was a little baby and I understood that she needed my mom's attention, but I was glad Gideon had been pushed out, and I'm so sorry I thought like that.

"You were a child you didn't know any better," Chris says, "It was up to us to stop that thought process and we both failed you, we failed you as much as we failed Gideon" he says sadly.

Christopher looks at him and then carries on "Mom said things to me over the years, she told me I was a good boy and I didn't make things up and lie, and over the years she made cryptic comments about how I was better than Gideon every now and again, it was just a constant stream of negativity which she fed me about my brother. I saw her say some terrible things to Gideon, she told him many times he was just like his father, as if that was a bad thing and she never had anything good to say about him or to him. This carried on and as we grew up her views rubbed off on me and my hatred of my brother intensified. Then he left home and started out in business, the more successful he got the more people took an interest, and that was when I was used as a stepping stone to get to Gideon, and I hated that, it was as if I didn't matter. I was just a means to get to my brother, and it fed my resentment of him. He got richer and richer and more and more powerful as a result, people listened to him and once again all those childish insecurities raised their heads, Gideon was getting the attention which was due to me" he pauses and seems to gaze at a point across the room as if he is remembering that time.

"Ireland asked me about him, she was interested in him and couldn't understand why he never came home to visit us, that riled me more than anything that _my _sister should want to know about him, so I tried to poison her against him, but she never listened and she said she would make up her own mind about him. Then he took up with Eva, and I saw he was different with her I realised she was special to him and I saw that as my chance at destroying his happiness. I found out about the link between her and Brett and it was a gift, I thought if I could exploit it and drive a wedge between them, I didn't consider her feelings in this, or any deeper reasoning behind why she had done what she had done previously, and for that I am truly sorry".

He stops and looks at Eva who smiles and nods.

"I think my hatred of my brother peaked years earlier, when he took control of Vidal records I had no idea the company was in the dire straits it was, and the way I saw it Gideon was just getting his hands on mine and Ireland's inheritance and pushing us out, my father tried to explain he was helping and without his money there would be no inheritance, but I was too blinded to listen and believe him".

He stops and bursts into tears, he turns away and for the first time in my life I have an urge to go to him and comfort him, I look at Eva and then I stand up and hesitantly make my way over to Christopher. I can sense that Chris and Eva realise this is a huge thing, I have listened to everything Christopher has said and I realise, yes the things he said and did were fundamentally wrong over the years, but he was almost brainwashed by our mother into believing what he was doing was right.

"Christopher" I say quietly.

I touch his shoulder and he jumps violently, but he turns to looks at me.

"Gideon I am so sorry so, so sorry for everything you are my brother but I have vilified you for years and..." I stop him mid sentence by wrapping my arms around his shoulder and pulling him towards me.

"I forgive you Christopher, today is the first day of the rest of our lives, we forget the past and we look to the future," I say firmly.

Christopher looks up at me in astonishment, "Really? You forgive me?" he asks.

I nod, "I do, I forgive you, and we can build on that, trust is the big thing, we have to learn to trust each other, and that will inevitably take time. I think eventually we can get the sort of relationship which we both should have always had, and its not just us, we have Ireland and we have Christian, and with Christian comes a whole family of people who are fantastic people as you will find out tonight at dinner. We don't need our mother, she doesn't want what's best for us, but we both have one person who we can rely on… our father," I turn to Chris who is watching us with tears in his eyes and then my gaze falls on Eva.

"Then there is someone very important to me who hopefully will learn to trust you, Eva please come here Angel," I wait and Eva comes and stands beside me and I wrap my arm around her.

"I am glad you acknowledged that what you did to Eva was unacceptable and if Eva forgives you then I suggest we draw a line in the sand and never speak of it again, we start now from today and look forward, and we work towards a future as brothers not adversaries, what do you say?"

I wait and the smile that breaks across his face is brilliant.

"I'm with you on that" he says gratefully.

I turn to John, "Would you help us work establishing trust and a relationship?" I ask him.

John Flynn beams at me, "Of course I will, we talked yesterday of establishing a regular therapy session via Skype for you when you return to New York and you said that Chris could perhaps sit in with you at time, well maybe some joint sessions with Christopher could be arranged as well?" he says.

I look at Christopher and he nods enthusiastically, "As I said to Christian on the phone, I am willing to do whatever it takes" he says.

John butts in again, "Can I ask how you feel now Christopher, now you have said all you have today?"

Christopher thinks for a moment, "Lighter, I feel as though a weight as been lifted, I have come to the realisation that the hatred I was feeling, was slowly destroying me and to finally accept that it is someone else's actions which are the cause of it all is mind blowing. I feel ashamed of myself for all the trouble and hurt I have caused over the years, believing my misconceptions about my brother and I am relieved that Gideon and Eva have found it in their hearts to forgive me". He stops and smiles at us and I look at him and he does look different somehow he looks happier.

I embrace him again and he returns the hug willingly.

"We still have a lot of work to do, Gideon do you have anything you want to say about what has been discussed today, you haven't expressed any opinion on how you are feeling? You have forgiven your brother and accepted that he was influenced in his actions against you, but you haven't acknowledged how you feel about that?"

"I don't feel anything, as everything that has been said has just confirmed for me how I have always felt. If anything I feel vindicated that my assumptions that my mother didn't love me enough were correct as she didn't, she blamed me for existing but I only existed due to her actions and she can't accept that, but I think my main question is how can a parent behave in such a way?" I ask.

John looks carefully at me, "I believe you are feeling some emotion about this Gideon, and I would like it if you shared it" he says.

I start to pace and more volatile emotions start to build inside me.

"Anger and resentment" I say simply, "I'm fucking angry at her, what she did, she blamed me for her mistakes, she blamed me for being conceived, she tried to obliterate her life as Elizabeth Cross and move on as Elizabeth Vidal and I'm angry that she tried to whitewash me from her life, I'm angry and resentful that she didn't believe me, I'm very angry that she poisoned my brother against me and destroyed our relationship for years, I'm angry that she never told Chris about what happened to me, I'm angry that she blames everyone for her mistakes and doesn't take any responsibility for them, I'm angry that… that… I'm angry that she didn't love me enough, what did I do wrong, why couldn't she love me enough?"

Everyone is watching me and Chris pulls me into his arms, slowly I respond and hold on to him and accept his comforting embrace.

"You did nothing wrong Gideon, nothing at all," he says ardently.

I hear John clear his throat, "Thank you for sharing that Gideon, what we need to work on how is how to help you manage that anger resentment and help you let go of it" John says.

I pull away from Chris and sit down. Eva reaches for me and looks at me, and as my eyes meet hers I see a fierce protective love and I smile at her, basking in her obvious feelings towards me.

"You were not to blame Gideon, you did nothing wrong" she says as she grips my hand tightly.

I nod, and in that moment I believe that. It wasn't me, it wasn't my fault, the realisation is liberating.

"I realise that now," I say quietly.

I see John smile at me and put down his tablet.

"I think we should leave it there for today. I would like to arrange something while you are both still in Seattle. Another session so Gideon can share with you what he told us yesterday as that may provide some perspective on the tantrums you witnessed as a child and give you the insight as to _why _Gideon behaved the way he did when you were both children, and through that knowledge you can gain acceptance of each others flaws and build on the enormous amount of progress we have made today?" John says and I nod in agreement.

"I can do that, if Christopher is happy to join me?" I ask.

Christopher nods, "Sure, name the time and I'll be there," he says.

"Well, I am hoping to return to New York later this week so I'm sure we can fit in another session here before we go," I say.

"That's settled then, I think it would be helpful if it was just Gideon and Christopher in that particular session, but only if you are comfortable with that Gideon?" John says carefully.

Eva nods, "I agree, you two need to work this out between you without any spectators" she says, but she smiles at me reassuringly. "I will come with you I will always come with you but I will wait just outside, you know you will be safe in here don't you?"

I nod, "I can do that" I say decisively.

"I'm just overjoyed my two sons are willing to try and make a go of this," Chris says his voice thick with emotion, "I am so proud of both of you" he adds.

That does it for both of us and we both break down at those words and Chris steps forwards and pulls us both to him. I am overwhelmed by the events of the last two days, and as I look at Christopher I am getting the impression he is equally as overcome by today.


	65. Chapter 65

CHAPTER 65

Christian looks at us anxiously when we return to the house on the sound. When we walk in, I make a beeline for him and shake his hand warmly and pull him into a one armed embrace.

"Thank you for everything," I whisper, "All you have done, it has helped tremendously" I say.

I feel him relax at my words and he returns the embrace, "Anytime," he says quietly.

I perceive Christopher at my side, and I turn to see him holding his hand out to Christian, "Thank you Christian, we had a very productive session with John and a lot of ground was covered, thank you for inviting me to Seattle, and for giving a damn about our brother, hopefully one day I can have the relationship with him you two have" he says.

Christian returns the handshake and I am surprised when he embraces Christopher briefly, a swift pang of resentment flies through me but I quickly push it back down, this is going to take time.

"You are Gideon's family, which make's you my family as well," Christian says warmly.

"I suppose it does," Christopher says as he thinks about it.

There is a knock at the door and Taylor comes in and announces that all the Grey's have arrived.

Christian grins, "Unfortunately that means you are now subjected to my family," he says wryly.

Christopher looks at him questioningly.

"You'll see... just brace yourself!" he says.

A moment later a flurry of pink rushes us with an ear piercing squeal.

"Gideon hello again, Christian move out of the way, hi you must be Christopher Gideon's other brother I'm so pleased to meet you".

I suppress a laugh as Mia throws herself at Christopher and he just stares at her in shock.

"Mia for gods sake calm down, do you want to mentally scar him for life," Christian says as he pulls Mia off my brother.

She smiles widely at Christopher and he is just staring at her.

"Hi Mia" he says eventually when he has gathered his thoughts, "You're Christian's little sister, right?" he asks.

Mia nods enthusiastically "I am and I am so pleased to meet you," she gushes.

I notice Ireland watching clearly amused, by the interaction. "Hey bro's you look like the three amigos" she says looking towards the three of us.

"Ireland!" Christopher says gratefully "Did you have a good day?" he asks.

Ireland nods "I had a fantastic time with Ana, Kate and Mia. We went shopping and then to a spa and then Ana took us to Grey publishing where she works, and then we went to see Grey House and Christian gave me a tour".

She turns to me, "I have to say its better than the Crossfire," she says with a grin.

I watch as Christian beams at her.

I shove Christian gently, "You told her to say that didn't you?!" I accuse.

Christian bursts out laughing and holds up his hands. "Ok yes its true I did, but she did say when she arrived that it was better than the Crossfire, and I just persuaded her that she should tell you that," he says.

I shake my head, I am laughing then I feel a hand slapping me on the back I turn to see Elliot grinning at me.

"Hey new bro!" he exclaims loudly and I laugh again.

"Hello Elliot, may I introduce you to my other brother, Christopher Vidal" I say.

"Christopher – this is Elliot Grey, Christian's older brother who it seems has now adopted me as his brother as well!" I say to a totally bewildered Christopher.

Elliot reaches forward and shakes his hand warmly, "pleased to meet you Christopher, and welcome to the Grey family, you are one of us now," he says.

"Now that is a disturbing thought," Christian retorts sarcastically.

"Fuck off Christian," Elliot says.

"ELLIOT LANGUAGE" comes a familiar shout, and I turn and see Grace walking into the room and glaring at Elliot and I grin and walk towards her.

"Grace, good to see you again" I say as I kiss her cheek.

She immediately wraps her arms around me and I feel loved and cherished once again by this remarkable woman. I pull away before my emotions overcome me, and I grasp her hand, and lead her towards my brother.

"Grace let me introduce you to my brother Christopher and my sister Ireland" I say.

Grace smiles widely at Ireland, "We've met already, Ana introduced us earlier today," she turns to Christopher, and pulls him into a warm hug, "Hello Christopher I am so pleased to finally meet you," she says.

"Likewise" Christopher says, I look at him and I can see he too has felt the warm genuine maternal love which just flows from Grace to everyone she meets.

I look around, Eva and Ana are chatting happily and Ireland, Kate and Mia are talking about shopping and spa's, Chris is talking to Carrick and Christopher, Elliot and Christian are talking animatedly, I realise there is no other place on earth I would rather be at this moment, I turn to Grace.

"Grace could I talk to you please in private, I need your advice about something?" she looks at me closely.

"Of course you can" she says and we walk away from everyone.

When we are alone she touches my arm, "What's wrong Gideon?" she asks her voice full of concern.

"I need your advice on something, my brother has divulged something today about our mother and lets just say it wasn't pleasant, and I just need a mothers perspective on this as I have no idea what to think, I need to know... I want to ask if what she said was a normal thought process for a mother to think these things and if I am to blame for ruining her life".

I stop I have all these thoughts rushing around my mind Grace is looking at me with concern.

"Gideon, before you say anything, you are not responsible for your mothers life choices she alone is responsible for those, we told Ana much the same thing when she was having issues with her mother do you remember?" Grace asks gently, and I nod.

"What did Christopher tell you?" she pushes gently.

"Yesterday when I confronted her about who my father was and she didn't take it very well, and as you know she hung up us and shut down the connection. Well, according to Christopher who was at the house at the time, he said that she threw her laptop across the room and smashed it. Christopher went in to her and she told him that she wished she had aborted me as soon as she discovered she was pregnant with me, she went on to tell him that he was her true son and her favourite".

I stop and look up and I see the horror on Grace's face.

"Come here Gideon" she says and she embraces me tightly.

"Gideon, listen to me that was a wicked thing to say, no matter how upset she was, she should never have said that. No mother on earth should even think such a thing let alone voice such a wicked thought, just remember she made the decision to sleep with Joel Cross that was _her _decision along with his; they made the decision to betray Geoffrey Cross. She was his wife and he was his brother, that is a huge betrayal but they decided to do it, _she_ chose to have you and let Geoffrey Cross think you were his son and she let you think he was your father, that was an awful deception and totally wrong but it was _her_ decision, you are not to blame for any part of it. I am not a psychologist Gideon, but from what you have told me, I would suggest that she is ashamed of what she did, and now that her actions have been found out, along with every other mistake she made, not believing you and alienating you from your family which has now cost her second husband, she is naturally looking for someone to blame for it and you are the natural scapegoat for her, as from what you have said, you appear to have been her scapegoat all your life. You have to get these negative thoughts out of your head; you are loved by your step father, your wife, and your sister. Christian trusts you and speaks very highly of you, and it seems that your brother Christopher appears to want to make amends and have a relationship with you".

She pauses and let all that sink in, I nod in agreement, she is validating everything I had come to on my own, but I think I just needed to hear it from someone else, someone not personally involved.

"All the people in the other room are here for you Gideon, Eva flew here with you she didn't question being by your side, Chris Vidal left his wife and is standing by your side, Christian sent his plane to New York to fetch your other siblings because he thought it would be good for you to have them here, and they came without a second's thought. You are loved and you are wanted Gideon, so don't ever think for one moment that those wicked words your mother said are true, how any woman could even contemplate aborting a child is alien to me, as you know I could never have children, and while I understand that there are circumstances where abortion is the only option, I believe that the gift of a child is a beautiful thing, but for a woman to say that about her own son well I find it abhorrent".

Grace stops speaking and as she does so she pushes me away from her, gripping my arms she looks up at me, I am significantly taller than her and for her to hug me I have to bend. The way she is searching my face, looking for any remaining doubt, I feel she is looking right into me.

"She's absolutely right Gideon".

We both turn and see my step father standing in the doorway, he walks over and Grace immediately lets go of me and steps back.

"No Grace stay where you are, you have been more of a mother to him in the past five minutes than his own has been all his life, Gideon you have to listen to her and to me, no woman in their right mind would say that about their own son and to say it to another of their children is wrong on just so many levels. I don't know where to begin to stress how wrong it was, but you need to let this go, you are not to blame, and you are worth loving, if you weren't, not one of the people out there nor myself would be here for you, are you listening to me and are you believing that?"

Chris looks at me carefully as he says this and I nod, this has made my mind up once and for all as far as I am concerned my mother is dead to me.

I look at Grace once more, "Would it be bad of me to consider my mother dead to me?" I ask.

"No it wouldn't" Chris says immediately.

Grace looks at me and smiles at me, "Gideon that is a decision you have to make yourself, and if it is a decision you feel comfortable and happy with if you do then it is right for you, not everyone will share your decision as being the right one. Maybe the best person to talk to would be Ana, as she would have some understanding where you are coming from, as she made a similar decision with her mother, I can't tell you if it's the right or wrong decision and I have no point of reference as there is nobody in my life who I would feel so strongly about cutting out, all I can advise, is follow your heart darling".

I nod, "Thank you Grace" I say sincerely.

"You are welcome, now, I think we had better be getting back or Christian will be sending out a search party" she says.

"Grace wait…" I say and I reach out towards her.

She turns a looks questioningly at me, "what is it?" she asks.

I lick my lips, I'm scared she is going to reject me when I voice what I am going say next, and I thinks she sees my concerns and she turns towards me and gives me her undivided attention.

"Grace, I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to claim you as my surrogate mom, would it… would it be ok if I called you mom?" I ask hesitantly.

Grace's hand moves to her throat and she sucks in a sharp breath and I immediately think I have offended her, I shake my head frantically and start back peddling.

"No, forget it, forget I said anything it was a stupid idea" I say.

Grace smiles at me and reaches for my hand, "Gideon, stop. I am just overwhelmed that you asked me such a thing, you have only known me for such a short amount of time, but if that is what you want" she pauses and looks at me closely.

I nod, "It is, I feel safe with you Grace, you are what I believe a mother should be… and I want what Christian has," I say.

Grace holds open her arms and I walk into them and bending I hold her tightly and for the first time in my life I feel a sense maternal parental affection and love and I bask in it, drinking it in and letting it consume me.

"If that is what you want I would be honoured it you want to call me mom" she says quietly.

"It is," I say adamantly.

She holds me for a while longer and then gently eases me away, I feel a sudden feeling of loss and I want to cling to her and stop her moving but I realise why she has done as I look up.

The door is open and Christian is standing there, "here you are, is everything ok?" he asks looking around.

Grace and Chris both look at me and I smile widely, "yes everything is fine now" I say truthfully.

We head into the dining room and everyone else is seated around the huge table, I take my place beside Eva and she looks at me questioningly.

"Everything is fine Angel, I was having a chat with my mom," I say with a grin and kiss her swiftly on the head.

"Ok?" she says and I see the confusion on her face.

"Grace" I say by way of explanation, and Eva just beams at me as she understands what I mean.

Grace takes her place beside Carrick and Chris sits down between Christopher and Ana opposite me, Christian takes his seat at the head of the table and raises his glass.

"Now everyone has arrived, I'd like to say a few words, don't worry I'll keep it short. A few days ago I discovered I could potentially have a cousin, that turned out to be completely wrong and instead I have gained two more brothers and another sister, and I couldn't be happier, so I would like to make a toast, it may not be the most conventional family but its family nonetheless - to our family" he says.

"Our family" everyone repeats as they raise their glasses.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three days later..._

Once again we are at Sea Tac, everyone is here I am actually quite surprised by that fact. My plane is standing waiting for us to board. Carrick shakes my hand warmly and kisses Eva politely, he then apologetically, turns to leave, but he has to be in court in a short while which makes the fact he made the effort to come and say goodbye all the more touching. Mia is currently being prised off of Ireland, they have become fast firm friends and I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of Mia in New York in the future when she comes to visit her. Elliot and Kate both give us swift hugs and promises to call and text. Christopher shakes Elliot's hand and promises him that he will get him some tickets to see a band which Elliot likes that are going to be touring in Seattle soon.

I turn to Ana, I had taken Grace's advice and talked things over with her and she basically said the same as Grace that if it felt right for me, then go for it. She also said that in her opinion no woman would ever say anything so wicked about their child and she deserves everything she gets.

"Bye for now Ana, take care of yourself and keep my brother on the straight and narrow will you" I say with a grin.

Ana beams at me, "I'll do my best" she says.

I nod towards her stomach, "and take care of my niece" I add and Ana grins and gives me another fierce hug.

I watch as she hugs Eva and they compare baby bumps once more, we are now in mid April, the baby is due in July so I don't think Eva will be flying out to Seattle again before the baby is born, so this will probably be the last time Ana will see Eva in the flesh before the baby is born and then Ana will be too close to giving birth to fly safely, so it is an emotional moment for both women, both Christian and I watch them with a mixture of love and amusement.

I look at my brother and hold out my hand to him.

"Fuck that come here," he cries and pulls me into a swift embrace.

"I'll call you" I say tightly, as I am fighting to control my rising emotion.

"You'd better," he replies as he slaps me on the back.

He pushes me away, "you'd better get on your plane or you will miss your take off slot" he says and I can see he too is trying to control his emotions and maintain some sort of decorum.

I nod, "well, bye for now and behave yourself," I say with a grin.

"The same goes for you!" Christian retorts.

I reach for Eva's hand and we turn to leave, I watch as Christian hugs Christopher and Ireland and I smile, he has embraced both of them as his family as well as me. I see him shake hands with Chris and there is a short exchange of words, and then he speaks to Angus who nods and shakes his hand warmly.

At the top of the steps I turn and wave down at my brother and his family, who have taken me to their hearts so willingly and I feel totally humbled by it, but I also feel cherished and loved and although it's a new and novel feeling, it's also a very nice feeling.

As we climb on board I take my seat and look at Eva who is talking to Ireland, Christopher comes and sits beside me.

"I'm quite sad to be leaving Seattle," he says.

I nod, "So am I, they are good people," I reply.

"And they are our family" he adds.

I look at Christopher, we had our session with John yesterday and it was very revealing, we both had these misconceptions about each other and we both discovered that it was our mother who had caused most of the misunderstanding between us.

I had opened up and told Christopher about finding Geoffrey Cross dead as a young child and that, that was the nightmare I had regularly had night after night, I had also told him of how I felt everything had been taken away from me and how that loss of stability and security had affected me, I told him how I felt like I was a stranger in the new family our mother was building for herself and I think he finally understood and realised what it was like for me back then, and with this new understanding comes the chance for us both to put the past firmly behind us and look forward to the future. I had also voiced my irrational fears of being pushed out as Christopher and Christian's relationship evolved and Christopher had assured me that he wouldn't do anything to undermine my own relationship with Christian and he had apologised once again for his past actions which he saw had caused these assumptions to be made.

When we apologised once more to each other and we both vowed to build a positive relationship and fresh start. Ireland had demanded we tell her what was going on as she had sensed that some serious shit had been going down between us, I refused to begin with, but Christopher pointed out that if she was in the dark, she could possibly be a prime target for our mother to manipulate, although this sounded a little incredulous to me I agreed, and we had all sat down and explained a diluted version of everything our mother had done throughout our lives. She was understandably appalled and although we both told her we didn't want her to be tainted with our issues, and that she had a good relationship with our mother and she should foster that, she had told us in no uncertain terms that she couldn't look at our mother in the same way knowing what she had done. I felt a little sad that I have been responsible for destroying two people's relationships with our mother and I had said as much, but had been immediately shot down by everyone and once again told that it wasn't my fault and I was in no way responsible for anything that had happened.

"What is happening when we all get back to New York?" I ask.

Christopher sighs, "Dad is in the process of getting himself an apartment and Ireland is moving in with him, I think. I offered her a room at my place, but I think dad wants her with him because she is still so young, and as I say I have my own place, but I'm cutting off our mother, she should never have done what she did... I wish Grace was our mom, Christian lucked out when he was adopted by her" he says.

"So do I Christopher, but he deserved it after what he went through, but I agree she is a very special lady, and I have already taken steps and claimed her as my surrogate mom citing my connection to Christian as my reasoning, but we both also have our father" I say as I nod towards Chris who has settled himself in a chair and has closed his eyes.

Christopher grins affectionately at Chris, "yeah and he's pretty special too," he says.

I nod, "he is and it's a shame I have taken so long to discover that fact" I say sadly. Christopher puts his hand on my arm.

"Hey stop it, no more negativity, we look forward now, the past is the past we can't do anything about it, it's done, we have drawn a line, no more what ifs, we can't analyse it anymore and we can't change what happened, but now we look forward, in three months time you are going to be a daddy and Christian and I will be uncles, then a couple of months after that Christian becomes a dad and you join me as an uncle, then you and Eva are going to get married again at Christian's place and we are all going to have a huge party, a celebration of everything Cross, Vidal and Grey, so it's all good as far as I can see," he stops talking and I nod thinking about what he has just said.

"You know I never realised it, but you do talk sense sometimes Christopher," I say.

He looks at me with mock offence, "Only sometimes? No way, I talk sense all the damn time!" He retorts.


	66. Chapter 66

CHAPTER 66

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am at my desk at Grey House and I stretch, I am feeling an odd sense of complete contentment and an inner calm I have never experienced before. At first I wonder where it is coming from and then I realise that I have cleared all the skeletons from my private life, I now know exactly who I am, I know where I have come from and I finally know the truth about my biological parentage and it's not filled with inaccurate assumptions anymore. I never thought that it bothered me but clearly on some subconscious level it did.

Also professionally speaking I am back, I have worked today clearing the backlog from my absence and I am feeling a sense of achievement for this alone. I have been away from the office for nearly a month what with the trial, Aspen and then everything else that has gone on. Ros has handled things marvellously, and I will be eternally grateful to her for her support and loyalty these past few weeks, she will be getting a substantial bonus in her salary this month.

I return to my thoughts about my life as it is now, it's different now and better than I could ever have imagined, I have a balance now. I lived for GEH at one time, admittedly I had my toys - my boat and my glider and I had the company of women who offered me a sexual release and took care of my needs, but I wasn't _living_ my life before. Now I have Ana and I have a healthy balance between work and a fulfilling happy private life, and I am going to be a father and that is the biggest thrill of my life I am going to have my own family. I think about things more closely, and it occurs to me that maybe, just maybe I'm not fifty shades of fucked up anymore, I could be, dare I say it... a normal man, whatever normal is!

My thoughts return to business and I look at my now empty in tray, I glance at my screen and smile with satisfaction at the empty email in box – yeah I'm back where I belong! Then I pause and I look at the photographs lined up on my desk, they are all of Ana and I smile, I hear a knock at the door and look up to see it opening and Taylor standing there.

"Is everything alright, is Ana ok?" I immediately ask.

He nods, "Everything and everyone is fine sir, I just thought given the time... well I was wondering when you were planning on leaving for the day?" he asks.

I glance at my watch and am surprised to note that it is nearly 7:30 in the evening.

"Shit, I didn't realise it was so late," I say "Is Ana at home?" I ask.

Taylor shakes his head, "No sir, Luke said she is still at Grey Publishing, I think she may have lost track of time as well," he says.

"Well let's head over there and find out what's going on" I say standing up, "Tell Sawyer we are on our way over now," I add.

"Very good sir" Taylor says and he turns to leave.

When we arrive at Grey Publishing the place is deserted, apart from the building security in the reception. I stroll into the offices and Sawyer immediately stands up and greets me.

"Is Ana in her office?" I ask.

Sawyer nods, "Yes sir, she is," he confirms.

I walk towards the light being emitted from the office in front of me and quietly open the door. I take in the sight of my wife, scribbling notes on a manuscript. Her head bent, she is clearly engrossed in her work. She lifts her head and smiles at me and my heart lurches, I live for those smiles.

"Hi baby, it's late," I say gently.

She looks at her watch and her mouth drops open, "Oh I had no idea it was so late" she says apologetically, "I'm sorry, were you worried?" she adds.

I shake my head, "No baby it's fine, I was actually doing the same thing until Taylor prompted me to check the time" I say, "But I think we should both head home now," I add as I hold out my hand to her.

She nods at me and holds up one finger, "Just give me one minute and I'll be right with you" she says.

I watch as she quickly finishes off and puts the manuscript into the out tray with a satisfied sigh.

"Ready?" I ask.

She nods at me, "I am, let's go" she says standing up and she rounds her desk and walks towards me.

After dinner we are sitting together on the sofa in the sitting room, with music playing softly in the background I look around and listen, apart from the music there isn't a sound.

"Isn't it quiet now everyone has gone?" I say.

"It is, but its nice having our home back to ourselves," she says as she snuggles into my side.

She runs her hand up and down my chest and fiddles with the buttons on my shirt. I watch her with a kind of detached interest, not so long ago I would not have tolerated any touch at all, let alone here, but now I crave it, but only hers - I crave her touch.

"Have I told you recently how much you mean to me," I say to her as I bury my nose in her hair and inhale deeply.

She looks up at me and smiles, "You don't need to tell me Christian, I know, because you mean just as much to me".

I feel my chest and throat tighten at this and I just hold her to me. I watch as her hand moves lower and my dick immediately twitches in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" I ask, as her hand slowly moves lower.

"Nothing" she says innocently.

"Oh I think you are" I reply.

"Well maybe, I may be stroking your chest and my hand may have moved a little lower," she says with a wicked grin.

I stand up suddenly and pull Ana up with me, "come with me" I demand and lead her to our bedroom.

"Wait here" I say and disappear into the bathroom; I run a bath and light some candles and then return to the bedroom. As soon as I see Ana panic surges through me as she is sitting on the bed and leaning back slightly and she is rubbing her bump, in a moment I am beside her and looking at her anxiously.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I try and read her expression and gauge what the problem could be.

She smiles at me, "Nothing, honestly it's just our daughter is a little active this evening," she says.

I let out a sigh of relief and I reach out and touch her bump hoping to feel our daughter moving but I am slightly disappointed as I don't feel anything.

"Come and get in the bath with me" I say as I pull her to her feet.

I slowly undress her and watch as she undresses me and then I lead her to the steaming bath and help her in, I wait as she lowers herself into the water and then I climb in behind her. Grabbing a sponge I pull her on to my lap and start to wash her, she hums with appreciation and rests her head back on to my shoulder and closes her eyes.

"Is that nice baby?" I ask.

"Hmmm" she replies and I smile.

I glance down once more at the now distinctive bump and it makes me think of my biological mother. I need to go to Detroit and visit her grave, I need this final closure of that part of my life, I think I have forgiven her already after listening to Mrs Hamilton's story but I need the physical visit to her grave to close that chapter for me once and for all.

"Ana" I say.

"Hmm" she replies sleepily, I smile once again, my baby is tired after her hard day at work.

"I'm thinking of going to Detroit at the weekend," I say.

Her reaction is immediate and she is suddenly wide awake. I feel her stiffen and she lifts herself up and turns to face me.

"Oh?" she says.

I nod, "I want to find my mother's grave and make my peace with her," I say.

I watch as compassion floods her face and she touches my face gently.

"I think that's a lovely idea," she says.

"Will you be ok to come with me?" I ask carefully.

She nods firmly, "Of course I will" she states adamantly, and I know there is no point in me stating that she doesn't have to, that she is pregnant and that she has just returned to work with all its stresses. Ana will be by my side whether I think its a good idea or not and deep down I know I really do want her there with me.

"Thank you baby," I whisper.

She moves suddenly so she is straddling me and wraps her arms around my neck, the swell of her stomach is touching me and I automatically reach down and stroke her bump, she kisses me gently on the lips.

"Christian, do you seriously think I would let you go and do something as monumental as this without me beside you?" she says.

"No I guess not" I say.

My hands move from her bump and I run them down her sides, my dick has gone from semi to stone and she glances down between us and grins.

Not a word is spoken between us we both know instinctively what the other wants and needs, she reaches down and strokes me and I start to caress her breast, I love how full pregnancy has made them and I gently kneed them with my hands. I hear her moan and I feel her nipples harden beneath my fingertips. My heartbeat quickens and my breathing becomes more shallow and harsh as I get more and more aroused.

I lift her and slide my hand down and I carefully ease my fingers inside her and I hear her let out a small moan she is hot and wet and oh so ready for me.

"Always ready for me baby" I whisper.

"Always" she replies and she shifts, her intentions are crystal clear.

I quickly grasp myself so she can lower herself on to me and as she does so she moans again and I let out a sigh, this is where I belong, buried inside her. She starts to move and I grip her hips and I guide her, taking control of her movements, slow and steady. I want this slow and steady, the rhythm we are producing makes the water move and it sloshes around us and over the top of the bath tub, but neither of us cares as all we are focussed on is each other. She is staring at me, we are eye to eye and the love between us is almost palpable almost a living thing that surrounds us.

I am feeling so happy at this moment we are physically and mentally closer than we have ever been, and I want this moment to last for ever I hear little moans of pleasure coming from Ana as she rides me and it excites me and I immediately feel the need to come. I used to believe my self control and ability to prevent orgasm was a gift, but no longer when I make love to Ana its all I want to do, I want to come inside her and I want that primal connection. No I don't want it, I _need_ it and the thought of leaving a part of me inside her is totally intoxicating.

As we continue to move, Ana is close to her own release and I hold on long enough to feel her tighten around me and as her body quivers she closes her eyes, grips me tightly and calls my name this does it for me and I can't contain it any longer and I find my own release and I come violently inside her. I stiffen and grip her hips tightly as the feeling overwhelms me. I feel and hear her gasp at the sensation as I pump my seed into her and I smile, pulling her as close as I possibly can so I can claim every inch of her.

_Meanwhile in New York..._

**(GIDEON)**

I am lying next to my angel, she is sleeping soundly and I just lie and stare at her. In sleep she looks relaxed and peaceful. My eyes rake over her body, the body which I have spent most of this evening and into the night inside. I smile as I recall how creative we are having to get now she is getting bigger, trying new positions which satisfy us both and keeps her comfortable. As much as I still have my primal urges to fuck her senseless, I know I have to be careful as I don't want to hurt her or our daughter.

My hand automatically moves to her stomach and I possessively stroke it. Eva stirs and moans and turns towards me, this makes me smile, she is asleep but she still instinctively reaches for me. This thought also makes me a little sad as I consider how shortly I will have to leave her and go to a separate bed to avoid hurting her if I have a nightmare. I want to spend the entire night with her more than anything and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen eventually.

I kiss her softly on the forehead and ease myself away from her and quietly leave the room as I open the door I pause and glance back at her before heading to my own cold empty bed.

As I lie there I think about everything that has happened. I spent today at my office and it felt good to be back at the helm of my empire. It felt right, it was even better knowing Eva was in the office just down the hallway. My mind moves from Eva to the rest of my family, I spoke to Ireland today, she called to let me know she had moved in with Chris at his new apartment.

Apparently the move hadn't gone smoothly, Chris and Christopher had gone to help her move her things. I was going to go as well to help, but Chris persuaded me that maybe that wasn't a good idea considering how my mother felt about me at the moment, and he said that if I was there it would only antagonise my mother more and make a difficult situation worse, I had briefly felt as though I was being pushed away again but he assured me he would call me and let me know how it went and it turned out he was totally correct. Our mother had, had a meltdown of epic proportions. She had screamed at all three of them and then blamed me for turning them against her. It had gotten pretty ugly by all accounts and Chris had lost his temper with her. Which surprised me as my step father is the most laid back and mellow man there is. But Ireland assured me she was fine and now safely ensconced with Chris. She said she was disgusted with some of the things our mother had screamed at her as she left and she said that she doesn't feel any remorse about moving out.

A short while later I had received a call from Chris telling me much the same thing and then a text from Christopher saying simply _**mom had a meltdown – everyone fine though**_.

I had immediately called him and he had told me pretty much what Ireland and Chris had said, but he also said she had upset Ireland more than she had let on to me and that Chris had really lost it with her and that he had been shocked at the level of fury our father had exhibited. I had called Chris once again after speaking to Christopher and he finally admitted that it was pretty horrific.

He also told me he was starting divorce proceedings against her. I pointed out to him that Vidal Manor was his home and I would put all my resources at his disposal to help him get it back and to evict my mother, he then said something which totally floored me, he said simply that he didn't want it. He said, that knowing I had been abused there and so much bad feeling had been caused there, he didn't want to step foot back in the place again. He admitted that if they divorce, my mother wouldn't be able to keep the place going and it would have to be sold and as soon as he said that an idea popped into my head and since then it has grown and it is now firmly planted there and taking shape. I am going to run the idea past Eva in the morning and see what she thinks, and if she thinks it's a good idea I'll then put it to Chris. I slowly feel myself slowly drifting off and I close my eyes and succumb to sleep.

The next morning I awaken with a sense of purpose, I had a dream last night, it wasn't a nightmare, it was positive and it has filled me with hope that I will get my closure once and for all.

I realise I have a lot to do if I am going to do this, and many people I need to talk to, Chris, Eva and John Flynn are the three people at the top of that list. I get out of bed and pace around for a few moment's gathering my thoughts and I head to Eva she needs to be the first one to hear this idea, excitement is filling me I can't contain it as I push open the bedroom door.

"Eva wake up" I call, I climb on to the bed and shake her gently.

She moans and rubs her eyes, she looks up at me groggily, "What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing, I have an idea, a marvellous idea and I want you to be the first one to know" I say.

She stares at me as if I am totally crazy, and then sighs, "I need coffee before I even think about doing anything," she says.

I smile, she may be drinking decaffeinated coffee at the moment but she still needs her early morning drink before she can contemplate the day. I nod and head to the kitchen to make some coffee, she joins me a few moments later and I hand her a steaming mug.

She takes a seat on one of the kitchen stools and sips her coffee.

"Ok Ace what's your idea, I'm all ears" she says.

I sit down beside her and explain what Chris had said the previous day. She looks at me nodding in understanding.

"So my idea is, I buy Vidal Manor and turn it into a kind of safe house, somewhere to help children who have been abused, somewhere where they can get help, counselling and somewhere where they can feel safe… turn the one place in the world which makes my skin crawl into a place of safety and hope, what do you think?" I ask waiting for her comments.

She thinks over what I have said and smiles she reaches across and places her hand on my arm, "I think that is a wonderful idea" she says.

"Thank you Angel" I say and wrap my arms around her, she rubs my back and kisses my cheek.

"You are really excited about this aren't you?" she asks.

I pull away from her and nod, "I am, I'm going to talk to Chris and see what he says after all it is his house, and I thought I might get Christian involved as well" I say, I am practically bouncing with excitement and itching to make a start on this.

Eva looks up at the clock, "well I don't think Christian would thank you for calling yet, its stupidly early here and don't forget Seattle is three hours behind," she says in amusement.

I nod and head to my study to call Chris while Eva goes for a shower and gets ready for work.

I pick up my phone and dial the number and wait.

"Hello" the sleepy voice of my step father comes to me down the line.

"Chris its Gideon, I'm sorry to call so early" I say remorse striking me for the first time.

"That's ok, what's wrong?" he asks anxiously, now fully awake.

"I have an idea I want to run past you, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away with it and I didn't realise it was quite so early" I say.

"That's fine, I'm listening" he says.

I quickly launch into my idea, "After what we were talking about yesterday about Vidal Manor I want to buy it".

I hear Chris gasp at that, "why on earth…?" he begins, but I quickly jump in and interrupt him.

"Wait it's not what you think," I say quickly, "my idea is, neither of us want to go there again, it is a place which holds hideous memories for me personally, and I want to change that. I want to turn something bad into something positive, I want to turn it into a kind of safe house, kind of place somewhere to help kids who have been abused – it's a big house and if we get the right staff it could be invaluable for kids as somewhere to go if they have nowhere else".

I pause waiting for a response but when there is only silence I start to deflate, "So what do you think?" I ask, a little nervously.

"Gideon I think it's a wonderful idea, and you have my full backing on this" Chris says, I can hear the emotion in his voice and I realise he was just stunned by my plan.

"I think this will help you too" he says carefully, "it will help you get some kind of resolution for your experiences, it may even help you with your night terrors as well," he says carefully.

"I never thought of it that way" I say.

"Are you going to get everyone else on board with this?" he asks me.

I think for a moment, "I have already told Eva and she thinks its a good idea, I thought you should be the first to know after Eva. I mean if she thought it was rubbish that would have been the end of it, but ..." Chris interrupts my rambling.

"Gideon its fine, you don't have to explain yourself, she's your wife it's unthinkable that you would tell anyone else before you mentioned it to Eva" he says.

"Thanks, I just..." I start.

"I know, I know" he replies kindly.

There is another brief silence, and I continue to speak, "Erm... I was going to ask Christopher to help me, and I was going to call Christian and see if he wanted to be involved as well, and I was going to talk to John Flynn and see if he could help with recruitment of qualified counsellors – I want the best, and I don't want anyone who will abuse their position," I say firmly.

"I know you don't, for what its worth I think its a marvellous idea and I will start the ball rolling straight away. I have already contacted my lawyer and set the proceedings in motion for divorcing your mother, she signed a pre-nup when she married me so she isn't entitled to anything which was mine before we married, so that should make her eviction more straight forward. As soon as we have possession of Vidal Manor, I will arrange for it to be signed over to you" he says.

I am completely taken aback by that, did I hear and understand that correctly, he wants to just sign it over to me? I quickly protest adamantly. "No, you can't do that, I will buy it from you" I say in shock at what he is suggesting.

"Yes Gideon I can and it's the very least I can do. If by giving you the place where you were abused, to turn into something positive gives you just a small amount of piece of mind then I am going to do it," he says adamantly.

I stop, I realise this is his way of making amends for what he sees as his dereliction of duty of care to me while I was growing up and while it isn't necessary, I realise it is important to him.

"Alright, thank you, I gratefully accept it. But I want everything to be above board and I will cover any legal expenses," I say.

"Alright Gideon, I will let you do that" he says.

We talk a while longer and when I eventually hang up I am feeling totally energised by this plan. I hurriedly go and get myself ready for work, and by the time Angus arrives to take Eva and I to the Crossfire, my mind is buzzing with what I am going to do next. Eva is busy on her phone texting and I am intrigued as to what she is doing.

"Who are you calling Angel?" I ask.

She looks up at me, "I am texting Dr Travis in SoCal. It's too early to call him yet so I am leaving a message for him to call me. He helped me, and he has mad skills with troubled kids so I think he would be useful for you to talk to in this venture, so I am just reaching out to him to try and bring him on board," she says.

I am astounded at my wife's support and thoughtfulness and it touches me greatly. "Thank you" is all I can say to her.

She just grins at me and returns her attention back to her phone.

I spend the day ploughing through my workload and about 11:30 I finally get a moment and as I sit back and start thinking about my safe house idea again, my office door opens and Eva stands there.

"Angel" I say and I am on my feet, rounding my desk to her.

She leads me over to the sofa and urges me to sit with her.

"What is it?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "Nothing is wrong I have a proposition for you" she says.

"Ok" I say warily.

I watch as she takes a deep breath and I wonder what on earth she is going to say. "When my mother divorced Nathan's dad after what happened, I got a settlement of $5 million, I didn't want to touch it because as far as I was concerned it was blood money, and I had lost too much to vindicate ever using it. I dumped it in some investment accounts which Stanton manages for me and over the years he has more than doubled it, and at the last count, I have over $10 million in total and I want you to have it, I want you to use it to set up your safe house," she says.

I stare at her, my mouth hanging open but I shake my head, "Angel that's your money I couldn't possibly take it. I have more than enough to set up the safe house and fund it for evermore with what I have made over the years," I stop as she reaches for me.

"Please Gideon, you are not listening to me, it is blood money. Money I only got because his son raped me, because he took my virginity, he took my innocence and for a long time until I got my shit together, it seemed he took my very soul. He made me pregnant and I suffered a miscarriage through his actions when I was a child myself, so if the money I got as compensation for that can help others in similar situations then I want _you_ to use it as you see fit. Put it to work, and make it do good things," she looks at me her eyes pleading with me to agree.

I am speechless I realise this is similar to my concept of turning a negative into a positive as far as Vidal Manor is concerned and I understand completely what she is trying to do. I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her, I realise now why she is giving it to me and the significance of the gesture and how important it is to her.

"If that is what you want to do Angel, then thank you I accept" I say.

With that she presses a kiss to my lips and stands and nods with a smile, "I'll let you get on" she says and turns to leave.

"Eva," I call as she reaches the door, she turns and looks at me.

"I love you" I say quietly. I will always maintain that those words are inadequate for the way I feel about her, but I also know she needs to hear them, and seeing the joy on her face when she hears them, makes me realise although I believe it is inadequate I need to say them more often.


	67. Chapter 67

CHAPTER 67

_Early morning In Seattle..._

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I wake up and look towards the window, the sun is trying to break through and I climb out of bed and take a look outside, it's been raining but it has given everywhere a fresh clean look.

I smile; I never used to take any notice of the weather nor of anything other than GEH. For years I was blinkered, I had my beliefs of the details of what happened to me and of where I came from. I was closed off and separate, I wasn't living, because I had no life. I turn and I look at the woman who has changed all that for me, she is still fast asleep laying on her side her hand protectively resting on her stomach. From the moment she fell into my office she changed everything for me. I helped her up and she looked into my eyes and she saw me, she saw what nobody else could ever see, she saw the real me, and from that moment even though I didn't realise it, she had reached in and captured my heart.

I head out to the shower and get myself sorted ready for work. I am preoccupied, thinking about this trip to Detroit, I have no idea where my mother is buried and I don't want to be spending the entire time searching, I want to go and know exactly where I am going, so I need to talk to Taylor to try and find her grave from the authorities in Detroit. I think things over in my mind as I am having a shave.

I go and get myself dressed and glance at Ana once more, I don't have the heart to wake her yet. She still has time, it is still early. I quickly dress and head downstairs, as I reach the kitchen Gail is up and busy.

"Good morning" she says with a warm smile.

"Good morning Gail" I reply.

"You are up early, do you have a breakfast meeting scheduled?" she asks politely.

I shake my head, "No I just couldn't sleep I have a few things running through my mind at the moment, which are keeping my attention," I say.

"I see, well what would you like for breakfast?" she asks.

"I'd like my usual omelette, but could I have some cheese on it please?" I ask politely.

"Certainly, coming right up" Gail says and heads towards the fridge.

I pour myself some coffee and sit down at the table, I watch Gail preparing my breakfast and I think for a moment and then ask a question.

"Gail, may I ask you a personal question?" I ask.

I watch as she stills and looks at me, "You may, I can't guarantee I will answer it if it is too personal, but you can ask" she says, smiling politely at me.

"Why didn't you ever have children? You always strike me as being such a caring person so suited to that role of a mother?" I stop as I see the smile slip and a sadness fill her face and I worry I have overstepped.

I watch as she sets down the eggs, and sighs, and I immediately feel guilty about asking.

"Look I'm sorry, it was rude of me, you don't have to answer that," I say quickly.

Gail shakes her head, "No its fine, I was married and as you know my late husband was in the military, we had planned to have children but it just never seemed to happen, then he went on a tour of duty to Iraq and he was killed, I found out the day I got the call saying he had been killed that I was pregnant, so bitter sweet doesn't even begin to cover it… but it wasn't to be, I miscarried – early on but it was discovered that it had been a miracle that I had even conceived in the first place. I was told there was a very slim chance I'd ever be able to carry a baby to term, even if I was to conceive again, and well… I never did" she shrugs and she turns away from me.

I stand up and go to her, I touch her arm and she looks up at me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried" I say.

Gail shakes her head, "No not at all, I'm fine honestly, I have a beautiful step daughter - Sophie is a lovely little girl, and Jason is so proud of her, and now we have the house over the yard he is seeing more of her and it's wonderful, and don't forget I will definitely be putting myself forward for baby sitting duties when Ana has the baby" she says with a weak but genuine smile.

I nod and go and sit back down again. "Excuse me Mr Grey... Christian" Gail says hesitantly.

I look up at her, "May I ask why you wanted to know?" she asks carefully.

I sigh, if I am totally honest I'm not too sure why I asked. "I suppose I was just being nosy and I apologise for that, but with everything that has happened recently, my mind has been a little preoccupied with the subject matter of families, and I just wondered," I say.

Gail stops what she is doing and walks towards me, "if I may speak freely, just because Ana lost the baby the first time, doesn't mean its going to happen again," she says.

I smile at her, "That actually hadn't crossed my mind for a while. It did when Ana had that wobble about it, and I was trying to convince her that everything would be ok, was the last time that I thought about that. No I think my reason was because of the information I discovered about my birth mother. I found out that nothing of what I believed about her and the circumstances of my birth was correct and she had actually wanted me and she loved me greatly" I stop speaking and put my head down.

Gail sits down beside me and hesitantly places her hand on top of mine, "You need to hang on to that and remember it always," she says, before she quickly withdraws it.

I nod, "I'm flying out to Detroit at the weekend, I want to find my mothers grave and make my peace with her so to speak," I say, "Does that sound silly?" I add.

Gail smiles and shakes her head, "Not in the least, it's a lovely thing to do, is Ana going with you?" she asks.

I nod, "Yes, she is," I say and I unconsciously smile as I think about my wife once more.

There is a brief silence and then Gail gets up and tells me she had better get on, and she continues to make breakfast. I watch her and I start thinking of Grace and I get the urge to call her. I stand up and head to my study and picking up the phone I make the call.

"Hello, Dr Trevelyan speaking" my mother's quiet soft voice comes to me and I close my eyes.

"Mom?" I say.

"Christian, good morning darling, it's very early, is everything alright?" she asks she sounds surprised to hear from me.

"Yes mom, everything is fine, I'm sorry I didn't wake you did I?" I ask as I realise just how early it is.

"No darling I was up, what can I do for you?" she asks and I smile.

"I just wanted to run something past you," I say.

"Oh?" she asks.

I take a deep breath and I wonder if this will upset my mom, so I am wary as I tell her my plan. "Yes, at the weekend I am planning to fly to Detroit, I have decided that I want to find my birth mother's grave and go and visit it… now that I am aware of the circumstances surrounding my birth I feel… I feel I need to make my peace with her for hating her all these years" I stop and wait for her reaction to this and it comes quickly.

"Oh darling, that is a wonderful idea. I am so proud of you, finally taking this step, I'll get your father to send you the details of where she is buried," she says.

That throws me for a moment, "You know where she is buried?" I ask.

"Yes we do darling, we asked for the information for you, so if and when you asked about her, we would be able to tell you," she says.

"I see, well thank you mom that will save me a lot of phone calls," I say, slightly surprised by this turn of events but also quite grateful and I am thankful I had decided to call my mom this morning.

"Not at all, I'll tell your father to find out the information for you today" she says.

We chat for a while longer and when I hang up I am totally convinced I am doing the right thing making this visit. I head back out to the kitchen and Ana is there, she is showered and dressed ready for work, I kiss her and sit down beside her.

"Morning baby" I say.

"Good morning to you too Christian," she replies with a grin, I watch her sipping her tea and I tell her about my call.

"I was just on the phone to my mother, I told her of my plan to visit Detroit at the weekend, she said that my father has the information of where my birth mother is buried and he will get it to me today" I say.

"Well that's a good thing, it saves you having to find out," she says.

I nod but don't say anything to her; I wonder what other information my father has on my birth mother as I am quite curious to know more about her now.

Taylor drops Ana off at Grey Publishing before driving me to GEH. I head up to my office and open up my emails and plunge into the day's workload. I take a break mid morning and I am buzzing, everything is going as planned today. I'm happy with everything that has happened this morning I have three projects coming to a conclusion together, which Ros has been overseeing and it all seems to be progressing smoothly.

I sit back and my desk phone buzzes, I quickly answer it.

"Grey" I say.

"Mr Grey I have your father here to see you" Andrea says.

"Thank you Andrea, show him in" I say.

My office door opens and my dad walks in clutching a small brown file. I immediately stand and walk towards him and after he greets me we take a seat on the sofa and he hands me the folder.

"Here you go Christian; this is everything I have on Ella. I put it together for you when we adopted you, in case you ever asked or was curious about where you came from," he says.

"Thank you," I reply staring at the folder in my hand. "I'll… I'll look at it later if that's ok" I add.

Carrick nods and I shake his hand warmly and thank him once again for bringing me the file. He hesitates as though he wants to speak to me or do something.

"Christian, I just wanted to say that I think this is an excellent idea, I believe you have needed to do this for a while, but now you know the truth about your birth mother, well it's time," he says with a shrug.

I nod in agreement, "it is, in fact I would say it's long overdue," I say.

"Who is going with you?" he asks carefully.

I immediately think of Ana and how adamant she is about coming with me and how there is nothing that wouldn't stop her from accompanying me.

"Ana is coming with me and Taylor will be accompanying me as always" I say, I look at my father questioningly, "Why?" I ask, I am wondering where this conversation is heading as my father is looking at me in a way which I can't place, and his expression is something I don't think I have seen before.

"I just wondered, you do know that your mother and I will accompany you... if you wanted us to," he says. I realise immediately that he was concerned; he wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing this alone, and he was offering to accompany me but didn't want to intrude.

I smile gratefully. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm really fine about this. I finally seem to be getting my life together," then I snort and shake my head, "It's only taken me 28 years!" I say ruefully.

To my astonishment Carrick pulls me towards him and hugs me awkwardly. My father has never been a hugging kind of person, not with me. He has always shown affection to Elliot and Mia but he has always respected my boundaries and kept his distance from me. With my issues when I first arrived, I was afraid of him and I wouldn't go near him for months, but even when I did come around to realising that he wasn't going to hurt me, my fear of being touched prevented him from showing me signs of physical affection, and that is just the way it has always been between us so I am shocked by this gesture, but I am also oddly touched.

"You are so hard on yourself Christian, but you are a good man and I am so proud of you - I couldn't wish for a better son than you, and I haven't told you that fact enough over the years. I am so sorry for the way I behaved when you dropped out of Harvard. You were so academically gifted all I could see and focus on was the prestige and bragging rights of having a Harvard graduate as a son, and I didn't see that you just weren't happy there. I love you with all my heart you know, I know I don't say it often enough or show you but I really do," he says.

I pull away and look at him, "Thank you dad, that means a lot" I say. I stare at him and as he smiles at me I feel something unspoken, slip into place between us.

He looks at me again and almost looks a little embarrassed, "Well, I'd best get on, I have to be in court in a short while," he says.

I thank him once again and he turns and leaves and I watch him go with a large lump in my throat.

I sit down again at my desk and think over what was said. As I do so my cell phone buzzes, I pull it out of my pocket and glancing at it I smile as I see Gideon's name on the screen and I quickly answer.

"Bro!" I say as a greeting as I answer.

"Christian, how are you?" he replies.

"Absolutely fantastic, how about you?" I say.

"Well that is good to hear, I'm ok as well… my reason for calling is, I have an idea. I have run it past Eva and Chris and they both think it's a good one, so I was wondering if you would like to be involved?"

"Oh? Sounds interesting do tell," I say, my interest immediately peaked.

"Chris is divorcing my mother, and so as such she will be evicted from Vidal Manor, Chris said he was going to sell the house as he didn't want to keep a place which was synonymous with what happened to me and when he said that, the idea kind of popped into my head. I thought about turning it into some kind of safe house for kids who have been abused. I have my charitable organisation, 'Crossroads' which is established and has been doing work of this sort for a while and this would be a huge asset for them if I could get it up and running. Eva is every enthusiastic about it, in fact she insisted I have the settlement money she received from Nathan Barker's father to help set it up and Chris has told me in no uncertain terms that I won't be buying Vidal Manor from him, he said he will just sign it over to me. So, I thought I'd give you a call and see if you also wanted to be involved?"

He stops speaking and I am impressed by his ideas.

"Of course I will, I will offer any financial assistance – that goes without saying, and I'll talk to John Flynn if you like, to see about hiring reputable therapists to have on staff, but yes I will help you" I say adamantly.

"Thank you I thought you'd be on board when I told you" he says.

"Goes without saying" I say, "How is everyone?" I ask casually and slightly warily, wondering if his mother has done anything else since her appalling behaviour when we discovered the fact we were brothers.

I hear him sigh, "My mother is being a monumental bitch. She lost it when Ireland informed her she was moving out and going to live with Chris. Chris and Christopher went with her to help her move. I was asked to keep away so it didn't antagonise my mother any more than necessary, but it seems my presence wasn't needed as she lost it anyway, apparently by all accounts it all got pretty ugly," he says sadly.

"Is Ireland ok?" I say sympathetically.

"She's fine" he says, "our mother seems to believe that I have poisoned everyone against her now and that as such none of her children are now worth her consideration" he adds sardonically.

"Listen Gideon I don't know what to say to you, I'm sorry your mom is such a bitch doesn't really seem like the right thing to say" I say.

I hear a loud snort of laughter at that, "Yeah well, just say as it it's the truth and what can I do? Nothing, that's what! I'm determined not to let her behaviour affect me, for the first time in my life I have a family and people around me who want me there and who love me," he says.

"You have and don't you forget it either," I say.

"So, what's happening in Seattle?" he asks, changing the subject.

I think about that and realise that everything is swimming along nicely. "Nothing really, I'm going to Detroit at the weekend, I am going to visit Ella's grave – kind of make my peace with her, I have thought badly of her for all these years and she didn't deserve it, I think its time to lay that to rest once and for all," I say.

"That's a really good idea, is Ana going with you?" Gideon asks.

"She is, I don't think I would want to go without her, but having said that, I am having concerns about the baby and the visit stressing her out, but she was adamant I wasn't going anywhere without her" I say.

I hear him chuckle, "that sounds about right, well I hope the visit goes well, you'll let me know how you get on?" he asks.

"Of course I will" I say.

"Ok, oh before I go, I am putting together a plan to get my moment with Dr Lucas... would you help me with that, would you come with me?" he asks.

My reaction to that is instant, I am totally on board with anything that Gideon needs to do to get his closure with that lying son of a bitch.

"Of course I would, let me know what you have planned, and when you propose to do it and I'll fly out and go with you," I say.

"Thank you Christian that means a lot" he says.

"Gideon, you deserve to get your closure, I have never felt better than I have since I found everything out, I have laid all my ghosts to rest and I have a kind of inner peace going on now, and I have to tell you it's a truly remarkable feeling, and I think doing what you are doing will go a long to you finding yours," I say.

There is a significant pause before by brother speaks again and when he does I can hear the hope and longing in his voice.

"I am hoping that happens - Chris seems to think setting up this safe house thing will help as well," he says.

"I'm not going to disagree with that, that house holds shitty memories for you, so what could be better than to take the place and turn it into somewhere where it makes some positive memories for some abused kids?" I say.

"Right, that's exactly what I thought," he says.

We chat for a while longer and then we end the call with me promising to let him know how I get on in Detroit and him promising to let me know when he needs me to fly out to New York to deal with Dr Lucas.

I push my cell phone back into my pocket and look at the file my father brought, I lay my hand on it and drag it towards me and with a deep breath and slight trepidation I open it, I gasp when I see the first document, it's a photograph of my mother. I have no idea how Carrick managed to get hold of it, It looks similar to one of the ones which Marjory Hamilton gave me, I pull my phone out and I quickly look at the copies of the photographs I put on my phone, sure enough one of them is similar and must have been taken at the same time. I see a copy of my mother's birth certificate, and a copy of mine, I look at the 'father unknown' statement on it and shake my head, Joel Cross must have intimidated her or something so she didn't name and shame him.

The next document is a copy of a police report done when she died and I quickly move on, I'm not ready to read that yet, and then I find what I am looking for a copy of the burial plot details for her, I read the photocopied document, McIntyre, E (Miss) aged 25, I shake my head sadly, twenty five years old, that is no age to die, and then there is a little about the coroner's report and then what I am looking for, Plot W7 Westfield Cemetery, Detroit. I close the file and push it into my drawer I have found out what I need to for now. I will take the file home and when I am ready I will read the rest.

**oooOOOooo**

_Four days later..._

It is early morning I am sitting on board my plane waiting for my take off slot and I am gripping Ana's hand tightly, I'm not sure what to expect from this trip.

I had taken the file home and Ana had sat with me and we had gone through it together. I had made notes of a few things, Ella's parents for one. Their names were on the birth certificate and I made a note of them and asked Taylor to search for them. He had come back quite quickly, they are both still alive and living in an affluent area of Detroit, and apparently Ella also had a sister, Denise who married and who also still lives in the Detroit area.

I had finally read the police report and I have decided that while I am in Detroit I am going to find the apartment where I spent the early years of my life and lay that ghost to rest once and for all as well.

"Christian are you alright?" Ana's concerned voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I raise up her hand still clasped tightly in mine and press it to my lips.

"I'm fine, honestly" I reassure her.

She looks at me closely and nods, not wanting to push it.

I quickly text Gideon before we take off, letting him know I am on route to Detroit and will let him know how I get on later.

When we eventually land in Detroit, Taylor has arranged transportation for us to head to the cemetery. First of all we go to the MGM hotel where I have booked us a suite for the night, so we can take the day at a relaxed pace and head back to Seattle in the morning. That way Ana can take some time to rest when we have finished doing what we need to do. I ask Taylor to find a florist so I can take some flowers to place on my mother's grave, and he finds one quite nearby. All too soon we are in the car heading to the cemetery. I have been forewarned that the grave is unmarked and in the state burials section for people who had no-one come forward to bury them. I find myself very angry at this, as it seems her own family washed their hands of her completely.

We arrive at the cemetery and we are met by an official, who is more than eager to help, he is the man who I have been talking to regarding my mother's grave and who told me that it was an unmarked grave. He takes us to the area set aside for state burials, and he leads us to the plot W7. There is a simple plaque, which reads Plot W7 (F). The man explains the F is for female. He shakes my hand and discreetly leaves us to it. Taylor is standing a short distance away and scanning the area. I stare at the small plaque unable to do or say anything and Ana grips my hand tightly.

"Would you like a minute alone?" she asks me.

I nod and she slips her hand from my grasp, "I'll be just over here with Jason ok?" she says.

I nod again. I am gripping the flowers, there isn't even a pot or anything to place them in. I feel my knees give way and I sink to the ground.

I stare at the grave and tears fill my eyes, and try and blink them away as I start to talk.

"Hello, Ella... mom, it's been a while and I just want you to know I'm fine, after you died I was adopted by some really nice people, and they raised me well. I blamed you for years mom and I'm really sorry about that, but it's only recently I have found out the truth about what really happened and I'm so sorry mom, I'm so sorry I blamed you. I have done quite well for myself mom, I hope you would be proud of me, I own my own company and I am married now and in a few months I'm going to be a father. I need you to know mom that I don't blame you now, and I'm sorry that I did for so long".

I glance at the flowers I am gripping.

"I've brought you some flowers, I hope you like them. Ana helped me pick them for you, Ana is my wife – you'd love her, she is a wonderful person".

I lay down the flowers on the grave and just stay knelt there staring at the plaque and I feel anger starting to brew inside me at the anonymous generic plaque.

"I don't like this mom, you shouldn't be here. I am going to get you a proper headstone and a proper burial plot, I promise mom, I'm going to do that for you".

I feel Ana come up behind me and grip my shoulder I grasp her hand as she speaks to me.

"Christian, there is a lady here asking why we are here?" she whispers.

I look around and see a woman staring at me, I rise to my feet and walk towards her. She is holding a small arrangement and she looks at me, recognition dawning on her face and her jaw drops open.

"You are Christian Grey" she states.

I nod, "I am" I reply, I am not going to offer any information until I discover who she is.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

I raise my eyebrows and stare at her, "I don't see that is any of your business," I snap.

"Christian," Ana warns gripping my arm.

"It is my business - that's my sister's grave," she snaps back.

I stare at her, "so I take it you are Denise McIntyre?" I say coldly and the woman takes a step back in surprise and nods.

I glare at her my temper and emotions rising, "Well, Aunty Denise, I am visiting my mother's grave" I say, the sarcasm dripping from my words.

"Christian, stop it" Ana murmurs again and she squeezes my hand gently.

The woman gasps and her hand flies to her mouth, "No, you... seriously?" she stammers.

"Look, this has clearly been a shock for both of you shall we go and sit down a moment and calm down?" Ana says gesturing to a nearby seat.

The woman nods and follows as Ana takes my hand and lead me to the seat, "Come on Christian" she says gently to me, but the look she gives me is one of warning, almost as if she is telling me not to be rude to this woman.

"I searched for you for years," the woman blurts out as we sit down, "I can't believe it, I can't believe you – _the _Christian Grey, is Ella's little baby boy and that you are sitting here in front of me and that I've finally found you," she says.

This throws me, she has finally found me? She has been looking for me? She reaches out to touch me and I recoil and she immediately withdraws her hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I…" she says, bewildered by my reaction.

"No, I'm sorry, it's a long story," I say and she nods.

I lean towards her, "You say you searched for me, the authorities looked for family when I was put up for adoption, why didn't you come forward then?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "My father, he forbid it, he was contacted as Ella's next of kin and he refused point blank to claim you. My mother wanted to take you but he put his foot down. I didn't know about any of it until I heard them arguing about it, my father was a controlling bully, a tyrant. It was his way or the highway, as soon as I found out I went and tried to track you down but it was too late, the papers had been signed and you were gone. I tried to find out where you were and who had adopted you, all I knew was that it was a doctor at the hospital who had taken you, but nobody would tell me anything, and in the end I gave up, everywhere I turned I hit a brick wall. Eleven years I searched for you, and now here you are sitting in front of me".

She looks at me and smiles, "you look so like Ella," then her smile fades "but you have your father's stamp on you too, you have his eyes and his hair colouring" she adds bitterly.

"What made you come to Detroit now, after all these years?" she asks.

I look at her and then quickly glance at Taylor who nods, he is clearly happy she is who she says she is, and I am guessing he has seen a photograph or something of her.

"I very recently found out for the first time the circumstances regarding my parentage and I felt it was time to make the visit to Detroit and get some conclusion for myself" I say.

"How long are you in Detroit for?" she asks hopefully.

"Just over night, we return to Seattle in the morning" I say.

"Erm, would you like to come back to my house and I can show you what information I have about Ella, I have a number of things which you may find interesting, if you want to that is?" she says.

"Thank you that is very kind of you," I say nodding in agreement.

She smiles and then her face drops and she looks panic stricken, "oh lord what am I saying, you won't want to come to my home," she says.

I stare at her, "why ever not?" I ask in confusion.

She looks at me as if I'm talking a foreign language, "you... I mean look at you, _the_ Christian Grey, you are a multi billionaire, and here's me inviting you back to my apartment in downtown Detroit its ridiculous!" she says.

Ana leans forward her hand outstretched and she smiles kindly at the woman, "Hello, I'm Ana, I'm Christian's wife, little Ana Steele who lived with her daddy in a small humble house in Montesano and who worked in a hardware store to put herself through college - you have no reason to be ashamed. You know Christian came from very humble beginnings and the only reason he is in the position he is now is because of his own hard work," she says kindly.

I watch as Denise seems to warm to Ana immediately and she nods.

"Ok, sorry" she says.

Ana reassures her once more and we stand to leave.

Denise spots Taylor and glances at him suspiciously.

"This is Jason Taylor, my personal security and protection officer," I say introducing him, she hesitantly greets him and he responds with a simple nod.

We establish that she walked to the cemetery and so after she has placed her own flowers on the grave we all head back to our car. As we do so, I can't help but think what a surreal day this is turning out to be.


	68. Chapter 68

CHAPTER 68

We arrive my aunt's apartment... my aunt?! I can't believe this is actually happening, I take a moment to look at her and watch her as she moves and talks and I realise that there is something vaguely familiar about her.

Her looks mirror my late birth mother quite eerily now I look at her carefully, comparing her to the photographs I have seen of Ella and I also see some of my own features in her face as well which throws me somewhat too as I have never met another human being who I physically resemble. However, it's her mannerisms and gestures which are pulling at something in the darkest recess of my memory, the way she moves and talks; she is reminding me of... my mother.

Ana is looking at me carefully and I give her a bright smile to reassure her, she grips my hand tightly as we go in.

I look around; it is a very humble place. This woman clearly hasn't got many resources, it is clean and comfortable though and has a lovely atmosphere, there are photographs everywhere mainly of Denise herself with a man who must be her husband and then I see one which makes my breath catch, it's an old one and it's of me and Ella. I walk up to it and pick it up and stare at it, I pull my phone from my pocket compare it to the ones I have. Denise walks up beside me and smiles.

"Ella sent me that – she was so proud of you. I tried to keep in touch with her, but it was so hard our father refused to allow me to go and see her and as I lived with him at the time and he intercepted my mail. I told Ella this and she was so smart, she set up a post office box for me to collect mail from her and this is how I got this photograph, along with all the others I have.

I also have all the childhood photographs of her, after she told our parents she was pregnant my father went on a rampage and wanted to destroy all evidence of her, our mother managed to save most of it though, and passed them on to me to hide from him and to keep safe," she says sadly.

I stare at her, "Do you still see your father?" I ask.

Denise shakes her head, "No, he discovered that I was in touch Ella and he disowned me too, that was the catalyst for my mother, after that she finally saw sense and stood up to him and divorced him. He lives alone now with just his money for company the other side of Detroit; I haven't seen him for nearly 20 years. My mother got a substantial settlement, which was one thing he couldn't control, she got herself a fabulous lawyer who took him to the cleaners and it was a joy to watch, my mother lives near him actually, and she remarried and restarted her life. I don't see her much, she sends me a Christmas card and birthday card and we talk sporadically on the phone, but when she remarried she got a new lease of life and she grabbed it with both hands and didn't look back," Denise says.

I look at her, "But you are her daughter, she shouldn't have left you behind," I say somewhat shocked at her revelation.

She smiles at me, "Oh you are so like Ella, always thinking of other people, that was exactly what she said to me too. I'll say the same to you as I said to her. She was suddenly free, for the first time in her life, and she was seeing what it was like to have a life of her own. Her own father was just like my father, and my father was her first love. They met in high school and he married her at the first opportunity, she was controlled by a man all her life. You have to consider that for a moment, she was told what to do, what to wear, how to have her hair, what she could eat, who she could talk to, when she could socialise, who she could socialise with, she didn't want to have children as early as she did, that was my father's decision, he decided he wanted a family and my mother had to go along with it. I sometimes wondered if he forced himself on her at times," she pauses at my shocked expression.

"He isn't a nice man," she says sadly, then she quickly returns to her story.

"Anyway, as I say her own father was the same, he totally ruled her life as well – you have no idea what he was like, it was almost like her father and then my father told her when to breathe! So imagine that from the moment you are born to your mid 20's and then suddenly to meet someone who lets you do what you want to do, someone who gives you the right to make your own decisions, she went a little crazy with the freedom, and Ella and I got forgotten in her euphoria, but I don't blame her, because for the first time in her life she had a life".

She stops and I look at Ana, some of what she is saying is hitting a little too close to home for me, I am pretty sure I'm not so quite so bad as that, but I know that I try to control Ana. I had instigated the decision to marry her – hell I surprised her with a wedding and gave her no opportunity to object I also decided that I wanted to have another baby; alright I had discussed it with her and made sure she was ok with it, but it had been my decision. I think about how I keep her on a tight leash using her safety as my excuse for wanting to know her every move and I feel... uncomfortable.

"Please sit down, would you like a drink?" Denise says.

I return my attention back to her and nod.

"Yes please" I reply and move to a well worn sofa and sit down, and as Denise disappears to make the drinks, Ana comes and sits down beside me and takes my hand, she rests her head on my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

"Don't Christian, stop it," she says.

I look at her questioningly, and she smiles at me.

"I know what you are doing; I can tell by the look on your face, you are comparing yourself to what Denise said about her father and grandfather. Yes, you can be controlling at times, but you also discuss things with me, and what you do, you have good reasons for doing it, and besides I always pull you back into line and stand up to you when you get too carried away, and generally speaking we are a partnership, so you are nothing like the men Denise has just been describing, so just stop it, right now," she says.

"But I recognised myself in what she was saying" I protest.

Ana shakes her head at me, "Admittedly you were pretty bad at the beginning of our relationship but look what happened. I left you, I refused to be controlled by you, the way you wanted to do it, I refused to be your sub and after a few mishaps we got there in the end, and now you are nothing like the man I first met last year".

I press a kiss to her head, "Thank you," I say.

I look up and see Denise reappear with a tray with cups and saucers on it and pot of tea and coffee and some biscuits, I smile at her as she sets it down, she is obviously worried about this.

"Thank you," I say kindly as she hands me a cup.

"Please help yourself, I wasn't sure if you'd like tea or coffee so I did both" she says.

I watch as Ana pours herself some tea, it is far stronger than she normally has it, but she politely drinks it without complaint.

We spend a good few hours talking and she shares with me everything she has and memories she had of my mother, when she was a child and by the time we have exhausted everything I feel as though I know my mother much better and I have an odd sense of belonging somewhere.

I look around, "Are you married?" I ask politely.

Denise smiles sadly, "I was, I'm a widow, my husband died last year. We didn't have any children it never happened for us despite trying so it's just me now". she says.

She looks afraid suddenly, "Please don't think I want anything from you, I am going to use you, I don't want your money, I have no interest or need for it, I am happy as I am, so please don't think I have any ulterior motive, I'm not like that. I'm just happy I have finally found you and know that you are ok," she says anxiously.

I hold my hand up, "Don't" I say, "please don't say anything, don't tarnish this wonderful day with talk of money," I say.

I see her flush with embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know that I won't take advantage of the family link with you, when you go back to Seattle, you will never hear from me again if you don't want to," she says.

I stare at her, she has clearly been damaged by her parent's actions, particularly her mother and she really is expecting me to just return to Seattle and that to be the end of it, I think back to the rude first impression I made and I can't say I blame her.

"I'd... I'd like to keep in touch with you, if you want to of course," I say carefully.

I watch as her face lights up and she looks at me incredulously, "Really?!" she asks.

I nod, "Really" I confirm.

As we continue to talk I get more and more angry at what she tells me about her father and I feel the need to confront him.

"Where does your father live?" I ask.

I know already but I don't want to alarm her by showing how I have had a background check on her and her family done. She stares at me in shock, and tells me the address.

I smile at her, "After everything you have told me, I feel the need to pay grandpa a visit, would you care to join me?" I ask.

I watch as Denise's face breaks into a huge grin, "Oh would I ever," she says.

"You are exactly the sort of person who he would love to brag about having as a grandson, he is all about appearances and name dropping. Everything is superficial and for show, but he can't do that because he refused to acknowledge you, and that will kill him. But I should warn you, he may try and worm his way around you and distort the facts to try and make himself sound better and he will probably try and dominate you" she says.

I let out a little snort, I'd like to see him try to dominate me, I glance at Ana who also has an 'as if' look on her face.

"Bring it on," I say.

We leave the house and head to the car, I sit in the front with Taylor and Ana sits beside Denise in the back, I pull out my phone and call Gideon.

"Hi Christian" he says as he answers.

"Gideon, how are you?" I say warmly.

"I'm good, how are things progressing in Detroit?" he asks.

"Interesting to say the very least. I visited my mother's grave and paid my respects and made my peace with her and I'm feeling good about that, but there have been developments I have met my mother's sister and we are just on our way to meet my grandfather," I say.

"Wow, you don't do things by half do you?" he says with amusement.

I grin, "No, although I think the visit will be more of a confrontation though, by all accounts from what I have been told he isn't a very pleasant man," I say.

"Well I look forward to hearing all about it, and maybe at some point meet your aunt?" he says.

"You can count on it" I say.

"By the way, I have a plan together now to sort out Lucas, I'll talk to you later about it though," he says.

"No problem, I'll give you a ring tonight when we get back to the hotel," I say.

"No problem, good luck with the visit and I'll talk to you later," he says.

"Thanks, laters bro" I say with a grin.

I hear Gideon laugh, "You have been around Elliot too much" he says.

"He stole the line from me," I retort.

"Whatever you say Christian! Bye for now bro," he says laughing at me down the line.

I hang up and turn in my seat towards Ana and Denise and smile.

Denise looks confused "I know a little about you from what I have read in the newspapers and seen on TV, do you have some adopted siblings?" she asks warily.

I nod, "I was adopted by Grace and Carrick Grey, they already had one adopted son, my elder brother Elliot and after we all moved to Washington State they adopted my baby sister Mia, but that's not all, very recently I discovered I had a half brother who lives in New York, his biological father turned out to be my father too," I say.

I don't divulge Gideon's name, as I think that would be a little too overwhelming for her. She nods at me, but doesn't ask any more questions.

When we arrive at the small but very grand house I am disgusted and filled with anger, my grandfather lives here and my aunt lives in a small apartment in the centre of Detroit. We pull up and exit the car and I hold my hand out to Ana who walks up to me and takes it.

"Keep it calm," she whispers to me and rubs my arm reassuringly.

I nod and the four of us troop towards the front door. Taylor is scoping the grounds always on alert while Ana grips my hand tightly. I am concerned about Denise though she is standing behind me with her head down and she is staring at the floor. I am forcibly reminded of the stance of my subs when they were in my presence and I quickly try and shake the thought from my mind.

The door opens and an elderly man looks at me, recognition sweeps across his features. I'm not sure if it is because of who I am or because of the family connection but he stares as if he can't believe what he is seeing and his mouth opens and shuts like a goldfish.

As I stare at the man, I go with the assumption it is because of who I am.

"Christian Grey" I say, holding out my hand to him, his face breaks into a huge smile.

"I know who you are, you are one of the wealthiest most successful business men in the United States. The question is what are you doing here on my front door step? Not that I am complaining of course it is an honour to have you here," he simpers and what he just said answers everything for me.

I step aside and his eyes land on his daughter and his demeanour changes on a dime.

"What is this?" he asks sharply.

He looks at Ana and then at Denise and finally at Taylor, before returning his gaze to me.

I look at him coldly, "I am in Detroit with my wife visiting my mother's grave, and I met this good lady while I was there and while I was here I thought I'd drop in and introduce myself to you" I say, I am being deliberately obtuse and I can see his mind working trying to figure things out.

I lean forward and invade his personal space. I am impressed to note he stands his ground and doesn't move.

"I'll give you a clue, my biological mother was Ella McIntyre, does that ring any bells for you?" I say, my tone still arctic.

I watch as realisation dawns on him, and his face drains of all colour and at that point he then takes a step back from me.

"No... it can't be... that can't be right... You _the_ Christian Grey... you? You are Ella's boy?" he stammers.

I nod, "Hello grandpa" I spit at him.

I watch as his demeanour changes again, I can almost see the thoughts rushing through his mind how he can capitalise on this link and he smiles widely and with a sweeping gesture invites us in, he holds out his hand to me and my inbred good manners have me accepting it, I shake his hand briskly, he greets Ana and Taylor then hesitates staring at his daughter. I am totally disgusted and I put my arm around Denise and pull her forward.

"Do you not recognise your other daughter?" I say sarcastically.

I can tell he wants to invite me in but not her, so I stand firm beside her.

She looks at me sadly, "It's alright Christian, I'll wait in the car" she says and goes to turn away.

"You will not," I snap. I turn to my grandfather, "If my aunt isn't welcome here then I won't be entering your house either," I say.

I watch as he wrestles with his prejudices and then relents and invites us all in. Ana wraps her arm around Denise and encourages her forward.

We walk into a pleasantly decorated room, but the first thing I notice is the atmosphere of the place, there isn't any, there was a warm homely feel to Denise's house but this, its cold and unfeeling and then it hits me, it reminds me of the atmosphere at Escala before I met Ana, and it unnerves me a little. I pull myself together and return to what I have to do.

"Why did you disown my mother and refuse to acknowledge my life?" I ask without any preamble.

McIntyre glares at me defensively "I warned Ella about Joel Cross, I told her not to get involved with him, I forbid her to see him, but she disobeyed me. So she made her bed and as such I washed my hands of her," he waves his hand dismissively.

I stare at him, my anger rising, "Do you have any idea what she went through? Do you not have a single ounce of compassion in you or any sense of paternal responsibility? She was your god damned daughter".

"Christian," Ana says warningly and she places her hand on me.

I calm a little at her touch and turn towards her and point to her, "my wife is expecting my child – we are having a daughter, and I know for a fact that my daughter will disobey me in the future, that is what children do, but if my daughter needed help, no matter what she had done I wouldn't turn my back on her, why did you refuse to claim me when my mother died and you were approached by the authorities?" I ask.

I watch as the old man squirms in front of me and I cock my head to the side and raise my eyebrows in question, I feel Denise move forward empowered by my words to speak up.

"When he was contacted by the authorities, and he was arguing with my mother about taking you I heard him say, there was no way on gods earth while he still had breath in his body that Ella's flyblow was ever setting foot in his house" she says, and then she looks at me apologetically for what she has just said.

I continue to stare at him, "You are taking my words out of context" he spits at her.

"But you don't deny you said those words about a small child who had been orphaned?" I say. I shake my head, and hold out my hands gesturing to the room, "And yet here I am, now standing in your house, I guess billionaire flyblow is easier to tolerate?" I almost snarl.

"I... I..." he stammers.

I don't give him chance to respond and launch into a verbal tirade but I am not shouting or agitated I am oddly calm and very still as I start to speak.

"You are without doubt the sorriest excuse of a human being I have ever met, you failed my mother, you failed your wife, and you failed your other daughter. You are a complete failure as a decent human being, you may be materially well off and comfortable here in your nice house but it isn't a home, because you have driven away all the people who would ever have made it one, you are a sad pathetic old man who is going to die alone and lonely. My mother and my aunt deserved much better, I will never ever forgive you for the way you turned your back on my mother, she was your daughter, your blood and she needed you," I pause for breath and grip Ana's hand tightly.

"I am here today to tell you so, to stand up to you for her, because she was never able to, and to get the closure she never managed to obtain, but I also want thank you wholeheartedly for rejecting me, because if you had given a damn, I would probably have ended up like you and that is something which chills me to the bone. Also because of that decision, I was adopted by the two most wonderful people in the world, and I have had and continue to have unconditional love and support from them and that along with the love and support of my wife makes me the person I am today".

I stop and I smirk and I can't resist a final below the belt blow.

"My wife, that's another relationship you threw away, your wife left you didn't she?"

I stop, I have never spoken like this before with such passion and protectiveness towards my biological mother and never spoken openly with such love about Grace and Carrick and It feels good. I feel the final pieces of the puzzle of my life finally slotting into place, I have said my piece I finally have my closure and Ella's.

"Christian" Ana says quietly.

I turn to her and smile, "Are you ok baby?" I ask.

She nods and smiles, "I'm fine, come on you've said your piece," she says gently.

I nod, and look derisively at the old man in front of me.

"I'm going now, you will never hear from me or see me again, please do me the same courtesy, have a nice life... if that is what you can call it".

I turn to leave and I watch as Denise approaches her father.

"Goodbye father" she says quietly.

I am disgusted when he doesn't even acknowledge her and turns his head away. At that, Ana can't contain herself anymore and steps forward, I note he looks startled as he wasn't expecting Ana to say anything.

"Goodbye Mr McIntyre, I won't say it was a pleasure meeting you, because I have never met such a cold heartless person in my life. I truly pity you, you have missed out on your own daughter's lives, your grandson's life and by your actions you will miss out on your great granddaughter's life, I can't speak for Ella as I never knew her, and I have only just met Denise, but I know your grandson very well, and you have missed out on so much, because you chose not to have this wonderful man in your life. You may have an abundance of material things around you here, but I have never met a poorer man in my life, you are without a doubt the most contemptible excuse for a human being I have ever had the misfortune to meet, and my husband and his aunt don't need you or your atrocious views and opinions and inexcusable lack of human compassion in their lives".

She stops and stares at him for a moment longer and shakes her head sadly and then walks back to me and grasps my hand.

"Come on Christian, let's go" she says to me and I look at her with unconcealed pride.

As we leave, I turn and give McIntyre another cold stare before we climb in to the waiting car.

Denise looks at me and smiles, "Nice man isn't he?" she says sadly.

I shake my head, "I am glad he didn't want to take me, when my mother died" I say.

We head back to Denise's apartment and before she gets out I take note of her telephone number and address and I give her my card and tell her if she needs anything not to hesitate to call me.

She nods and pushes the card into her purse. Before we leave I tell her my plan of having Ella's body exhumed and reburied in a proper plot with a headstone and I am shocked when Denise bursts into tears.

I will get this organised while I am here today so hopefully I can give Denise a date for the funeral before I leave.

"May I hug you Christian?" she asks me.

I hesitate for a moment and then nod, "It's a long story but please don't touch my back or chest" I say.

Denise nods and after a moments hesitation she carefully places her hands on my upper arms and embraces me awkwardly, as she pulls away she looks at me questioningly.

I shake my head, "Not a story for today, I want to leave you with good memories" I say, "I will explain, but not today," I say firmly.

Denise nods at me and hugs Ana.

"You are a fine young man Christian, Ella would be so proud of you, now you take care of your little family and I hope to see you again real soon," Denise says with a warm smile.

I nod, "Hopefully I will be able to call you by the end of today with a date for Ella's reburial" I say.

"Thank you" she replies. "Goodbye Christian, and thank you for today," Denise says.

"Goodbye Aunt Denise" I say, and I feel a strange sensation flow through me as I say the words.

When we get into the car, I turn to Taylor. "Taylor I want her mortgage and any other outstanding debts she has, paid off by the end of today and I want her health insurance status checked and updated to platinum". I state firmly.

"Yes Sir" Taylor replies as he pulls out into the traffic.


	69. Chapter 69

CHAPTER 69

By the end of the day, I have fulfilled my pledge to get Ella's body exhumed and reburied and I have a headstone commissioned and being made. The funeral is set 2 weeks from today and I am feeling a sense of satisfaction at the events of the day.

It is early evening, we have eaten and we are resting in the suite. Ana has fallen asleep and I have just finished talking once again to Gideon, where we discussed the Lucas situation, amongst other things. I also called my mother and told her about the events of today she was mortified when I told her of my confrontation with McIntyre, and I have called Denise and told her about the date for the reburial. There is nothing left for me to do and so I just sit and I think through the events of today and the plans I have made.

After we had left Denise I had made a number of phone calls and got the reburial organised then we had returned to the hotel for a late lunch and Ana had a rest before Taylor took us to the apartment block where I had lived with my mother. I recall the afternoon's visit and the way everything seemed to fall into place from the moment we approached that place...

_Ana and I pull up outside the apartment block and I notice the building is abandoned and up for sale, my response is immediate I call the number and within 20 minutes I am the new owner of the building. _

_Ana is staring at me in shock._

_"What have you done Christian?" she asks._

_"You'll see" I reply coldly._

_We head inside and I make straight for the apartment I occupied with my mother as I recall the address from the paperwork in the file my father gave me. All of the apartments are empty and abandoned, the tenants having been given notice to quit. I find the apartment where I lived as a small child. I take a deep breath and walk in and although it is empty and painted a different colour from the one in my memories and dreams, I feel the distant memories of my time here flood me. I grip Ana's hand as I look around._

_"This was my home" I whisper._

_I picture the room as I remember it mainly from my nightmares. "There was a sofa there on that wall and a small table here with a couple of chairs and a cupboard over there, that's all, the kitchen is through here"._

_I open a door and lo and behold I see a scruffy kitchen, I turn to another door, and I point "That was my mother's bedroom where she entertained clients" I say sadly._

_"Where was your room?" Ana asks looking around._

_I shake my head, "I slept on the sofa or in my mother's bed, there is only one bedroom," I say._

_I feel Ana wrap her arm around me as we stand in silence looking around._

_"This is it Ana, this is where I came from" I say._

_"What are you going to do with it?" she asks me._

_I turn and look at her, "I'm going to raze it to the ground, remove all trace of it" I say firmly._

_Ana stares at me in shock but doesn't say anything._

_"Come on baby lets go" I say suddenly, as I feel the need to get out of here…_

I am pulled from my thoughts of the day by Taylor as he enters our suite, he approaches with some papers in his hand.

"Sir, as of 6pm this evening, Denise Jenkinson nee McIntyre no longer has a mortgage. As directed it has been paid off in full, the only other debts she had were the medical bills for her late husband's care which she was still paying off, and as instructed her medical insurance has been upgraded, significantly upgraded to Platinum with immediate effect".

He hands me the papers and I quickly check them.

"Excellent, thank you Taylor" I say.

He nods "Anything else sir?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No I don't think so, take the rest of the evening off, I don't think we will be going anywhere else," I say glancing at Ana who is still sleeping peacefully.

"Thank you sir" he replies and leaves us alone.

The next morning we are leaving the hotel when I hear someone calling my name. I turn and see Denise standing in the lobby of the hotel looking uncomfortable.

I immediately stride over to her, "Aunt Denise, Is everything alright?" I ask.

She nods and smiles at me, "It is, I just remembered you saying you were flying back to Seattle today so I came on the off chance of seeing you before you went... to say goodbye, it looks like I was lucky and I just caught you" she says.

Ana has appeared beside me and she hugs Denise tightly.

I smile at her, "Well that's very kind of you" I say.

"It's not goodbye for long though, I will be back in Detroit in a fortnight for Ella's reburial, I will be bringing my family with me, and you can meet my adoptive parents and my siblings and I think my brother is flying in from New York as well" I say.

"I would like that" she replies. "Before you go though I do have another reason to be here, I need to rebuke you" she says.

I stare at her wondering what I have done wrong and I hear Ana stifle a giggle.

"I got a phone call last night from my mortgage provider, telling me that my mortgage was paid off yesterday by one Christian Grey," she says glaring at me.

I glare back defiantly, "Yes, and your point is?" I say.

She shakes her head sadly, "I don't want your money Christian, I would just like to get to know you, that's all" she says.

I sigh, "Aunt Denise, I am a very wealthy man so if can help you out financially I am going to do it, I can't stand by and watch if I can do something to make someone's life a little easier and just so you know and don't chew me out over it later, I have also paid off all your outstanding medical bills from your late husbands treatment, and I have significantly upgraded your health insurance, so get it off your chest now and say what you want to say about it".

I stop and fold my arms and glare at her.

She stares at me in shock which morphs into anger and then a reluctant smile plays across her lips and to my surprise she starts to laugh, she shakes her head.

"Oh you are so like Ella, she used to do things like that, she'd go off on a tangent and do things for me and then tell me after the fact and almost challenge me to be angry about it," she sighs, "Alright Christian, I graciously thank you, but please no more, promise me Christian," she says.

I grin "I promise that I'll run it past you first before I do anything in future, that's the best I can do," I say.

Ana steps up and speaks, "That's the best you are going to get from him so I suggest you take it" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later..._

"Ana, we are about to land," I lead my wife to the seat and gently pull the belt around her and fasten it, we make eye contact and the look on her face as I do this makes my dick twitch, I know exactly what she is thinking, so I lean forward and kiss her.

"Later" I whisper in her ear.

"Is that a promise?" she whispers back, goading me.

"Behave" I murmur trying to sound stern but failing when she giggles.

I look around my plane, everyone is here and my plane is full. Mom and dad, Mia, Elliot, Kate, Ana, Taylor and Gail – I was surprised when Gail asked if she could come along too to pay her respects.

I agreed of course, and Sawyer, Fisher and Ryan also requested to attend. I am very moved that they wanted to do so. Gideon is also flying in, and he is meeting us in Detroit. Eva isn't accompanying him as she is getting to the point in her pregnancy where it is unwise for her to fly and I understand fully Gideon's stance on it, as every time Ana accompanies me on flights although still safe I can't help but worry.

As the plane comes in to land I grasp Ana's hand, as she hates take off and landing. We wait while the plane taxi's to a halt and as we exit the plane. I look up and spot Gideon's plane coming in to land and I see my Aunt Denise waiting near the barrier. I beckon her forward and she looks around hesitantly before walking forward.

"Christian" she says as she grasps me by my upper arms.

I kiss her cheek "Aunt Denise, let me introduce you to my family," I turn and waiting patiently are mom and dad, I gesture towards them.

"Aunt Denise this is Carrick and Grace Grey, my adoptive mom and dad" I say, I turn to my mom and dad, "Mom, dad this is Ella's sister, my Aunt Denise" I say.

Grace steps forward and envelopes Denise in a huge warm hug which immediately breaks the ice. I introduce Elliot, Mia and Kate and I explain who Sawyer, Gail, Fisher and Ryan are. I look carefully at Denise she seems a little overwhelmed by everyone and I wonder how she will react when she discovers who my brother is. I look up to see Gideon's plane landing and coming to a halt.

"It looks like my brother has just arrived," I say nodding towards the Cross Industries aeroplane.

We all cross the tarmac and wait at the foot of the steps of the plane and soon the familiar shape of Gideon Cross steps into view. I glance at Denise and watch as her mouth drops open.

"Isn't that Gideon Cross?" she whispers to me.

I nod, "It is, he is also my brother as it turns out my father was also his father, another long story!" I say.

"Oh my," Denise says clearly intimidated by this turn of events.

"Hey, don't worry; he's a very nice man. Although obviously not as nice as me," I say with a grin trying to add a little bit of levity to the situation.

Gideon sprints down the steps and stops to hug Grace tightly and kiss her on the cheek before making his way over to me. He pauses to kiss Ana, Mia and Kate swiftly on the cheek in greeting before turning his attention to me, his hand outstretched.

"Christian" he says as he grasps my hand and pulls me in for an embrace, he turns and smiles widely at Denise.

"Gideon, please let me introduce you to Ella's sister, my Aunt Denise" I say, "Denise this is my brother Gideon Cross".

Gideon bends and kisses Denise lightly on the cheek, "I'm delighted to meet you" he says politely.

"Likewise" Denise says staring up at him.

Elliot appears and slaps Gideon on the back, "Hi bro how's Eva?" he asks.

Gideon turns and embraces Elliot warmly, "Hi Elliot, Eva is wonderful as always, she is at home safely in New York, but she sends everyone her love".

He turns his attention back to Denise, "My wife Eva is heavily pregnant and we decided it wasn't safe for her to make the journey today, so she is staying in New York with my step father and my siblings," he explains.

Denise looks overwhelmed and I can see her trying to piece everything together. I quickly recap and explain the rather convoluted family tree.

"Elliot and Mia are my adopted brother and sister, Kate is Elliot's girlfriend and long time friend of my wife Ana. Gideon is my half brother, his father it has recently been established was actually Joel Cross and not Geoffrey Cross and of course Joel Cross was also my father. Gideon is married to Eva and she is in New York with Gideon's step father Chris and his siblings from the marriage between Chris and Gideon's mother". I look at Denise and she nods as she takes all that in.

"Don't worry this must be so overwhelming for you" my mom says stepping forward.

"It is just so unbelievable, two weeks ago I was all alone in the world and now I have my nephew, his wife and all this wonderful extended family, it's a lot to take in" she says.

We all leave the airport, everyone is staying at the hotel and we are flying back to Seattle tomorrow, we head there and Denise joins us so we can get ready for the reburial. I smile as I watch Grace leading her away, I know my mother will make Denise feel comfortable.

"Christian can I talk to you?" Gideon asks me as we walk into our hotel room.

"Sure" I reply, and wait for Gideon to follow me in before I shut the door, "What's up?" I ask.

"I'm sorry to bring this up now but we need to hash out the finer details of the plan regarding Lucas" he says. I smile at him, this is consuming him and I can understand why, this is his chance to right a wrong which has dominated the majority of his life.

"Sit down" I say gesturing to the sofa, I sit beside my brother and clasp my hands tightly. "I have come up with an idea" I say.

"Oh?" Gideon asks.

I nod, "When we were talking about how to do this we couldn't seem to decide on what angle to attack this from, Lucas himself or his wife, well I have been thinking about it - why not attack both? Come at them both hard and I believe they will crumble, divide and conquer so to speak," I say.

I see Gideon think this over and I can see him piecing things together in his mind.

I see shame filling his face as he thinks about it, "I'm not proud of what happened between me and Anne – it was twisted I used her to punish both Lucas and Hugh" he says.

I nod he had confided in me some of the things he had done to Anne and when he told me I knew immediately that what he had done was not right, "Which is understandable under the circumstances, but you have to remember she was a completely consensual partner so she wasn't totally blameless, she slept with you knowing she had a husband at home waiting for her". I say with a shrug.

I see Gideon look up and I turn following his gaze and I see Ana standing in the doorway listening.

"Is everything ok baby?" I ask, she nods and comes and sits with us.

"I was listening and I have an idea," she says hesitantly.

"Why don't you use me to get to Anne Lucas? If she sees you Gideon she will clam up tight but she doesn't know me and I'm guessing that Terry Lucas wouldn't have confessed to her what he said to us as he doesn't want anyone to know what he did. I am thinking she would be clueless and if I can appeal to her on a level she will understand, as a woman she could prove to be helpful to us, and what would be a better way to completely destroy Lucas but to turn his wife against him?"

I listen to my wife and it all seems glaringly obvious, I look at Gideon in question.

"Well I have to admit can see the potential in that and yes it could work… but we have to get a move on if we are going with that, Ana will soon be getting to the point where she won't be able to accompany you to New York and I obviously don't want to put her or the baby at risk" he says.

He glances at his watch, "Look we will discuss this later we need to get ready now" he says and stands.

"No problem," I say and watch my brother leave our suite.

A short while later we are all dressed and ready to leave the hotel for the cemetery. Everyone is in sombre mood as we leave. I am so grateful for everyone taking the time out, to be here today and frankly amazed that they have done so. I grip Ana's hand as I climb into the car.

When we arrive at the cemetery, the minister is waiting along with the official's who are overseeing the transfer of my mothers body, the body has been removed from the other plot and re-interned in the new plot, the concrete walkway has the new headstone proudly displayed on it and the grave itself is covered with flowers, I feel tightness in my throat and I swallow deeply. I feel Ana grip my hand and rub my arm and I gently squeeze back.

The weather is lovely and we all stand in the sunshine as the minister speaks. It is a lovely service and I am very pleased with the headstone. I check the dates on it that they are correct and I read the brief wording.

_Ella McIntyre_

_Loving Mother to Christian_

_Now at Peace_

It says it all for me, she is resting in a proper grave with a proper head stone and I have given her and myself closure for everything that happened to her. She is now resting in peace and I too have gained an inner peace and acceptance of my early life.

I thank the minister gratefully and the officials and we go to move away from the graveside. I look up and see a figure standing off to the side watching the proceedings.

"Christian – look, over there" Ana whispers to me.

"I know, I have seen," I say. I turn to Denise who has also seen the lonely figure watching by the trees.

My mother has noticed our reactions and follows my gaze, "Who is that man Christian?" she asks.

"Ella's father," I reply shortly. Grace gasps and goes to walk over to him.

"Mom no, don't" I call, "I have no idea why he is here, he made his feelings clear when I saw him a couple of weeks ago" I say.

Grace pauses and then glances at me and then Denise.

Denise nods "He's not a good person Grace" she confirms.

I see my mother struggling with the decision not to go over to McIntyre, but she nods and turns back. We head back towards the cars and I watch and see McIntyre turn and walk away.

"What do you think he was doing?" Ana asks when we are in the car.

I shrug, "I have no idea and to be honest I don't really care," I say.

We head to the hotel for lunch I have booked a private dining room. Taylor, Gail, Sawyer, Fisher and Ryan are also joining us this once. As we gather I notice Denise is very quiet and is once again standing looking at the ground, and my guess is she feels out of place and awkward.

I walk over to her and place my arm around her shoulder protectively.

"Are you alright?" I ask quietly.

She looks up at me and smiles, "I'm just a little overwhelmed" she says.

I nod and smile, "My mom loves you, but then again mom loves everyone" I say.

Denise nods, "she is a lovely lady, I'm glad she adopted you, how did she find you?" she asks.

I sigh, I realise I have to tell Denise the full story at some point and sooner rather than later, "I will answer that, and I will tell you everything, but can it wait until after lunch? It's not a pleasant story and I assure you, you will probably lose your appetite if I tell you beforehand," I say.

"All right" Denise says carefully, "But you will tell me?" she asks.

I nod, "I will" I say firmly.

We head to the table and I seat Denise between Ana and my mother and I see her physically relax. Elliot starts acting like a fool, and my mother glares at him and dad tells him to be quiet, I turn to Denise, and see she is laughing at Elliot's antics.

"Don't encourage him, you'll make him worse" I say light heartedly.

Denise laughs louder, "Nonsense Christian – you have a lovely family, thank you for including me today" she says.

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, "You are my family too" I say.

The effect it has around the table is immediate everyone goes quiet. So I use this moment to make a toast.

"I'd like to say a few words, first of all I'd like to thank everyone who is here today for taking the time out of your schedules to help me lay my birth mother to rest in the way she deserved, and for my team who insisted that they wanted to join me and pay their respects, I am beyond touched by that. To my family; my Mom, dad, Elliot and Mia, who have all put up with me all these years, when I really wasn't a pleasant person to be around; to Ana who has made me a better man and who has given me so much, I love you baby and to my oldest yet ironically newest family members, my brother Gideon and my Aunt Denise thank you for joining me today and I hope that our new found relationships flourish and prosper".

I stop and take a sip of my wine.

After the meal is over, everyone departs. Mia and Kate are predictably going shopping, and everyone disappears to do their own thing, I realise the time has come to tell Denise the whole story surrounding my early life and we head upstairs to our suite, Denise comes with me and opening the door I gesture for her to come inside.

"Please sit down" I say and Denise sits down on the large sofa, she looks around the room, which is bigger than her entire apartment.

Ana comes in and looks at us, "Do you want me to stay Christian?" she asks me.

I wrap my arm around her and kiss her, I am grateful for the offer but she looks tired, "I'm fine baby, you go and rest" I say, and she nods at me.

"I'll be just in here if you need me ok?" she says as she heads into the bedroom.

I nod, "I know thank you baby" I say as I watch her disappear.

I sit down opposite Denise and clasp my hands in front of me. I feel oddly nervous about this, I have explained my past many times, when I was younger and had a revolving door of therapists it was part of the course that I would have to go through everything that happened to me before I was adopted.

"It isn't a pleasant story, and there is no easy way to tell it, my mother... Ella was bringing me up alone and was by all accounts struggling, but doing a good job, but she got mixed up with a guy called Tony Garrett".

Denise gasps, "The man who was on trial for your helicopter sabotage, I saw it on the news" she says and I nod.

"Yes, I said it was a long story. Anyway, Ella got mixed up with Tony Garrett he promised her he would take care of her, but in reality he got her hooked on crack cocaine and he became her pimp he brought men for her to have sex with to the apartment we shared".

I stop as I see the pain on Denise's face and I reach for her hand.

"Look it gets worse and I don't want these memories of mine in your head," I say.

Denise squeezes my hand, "No, tell me everything," she says firmly.

I nod and continue, "Well Tony Garrett wasn't a fan of mine, he used to call me a little shit, and I learnt very quickly to keep out of his way. He would kick me across rooms and punch me and his favourite he would use me as an ashtray, I have scars on my chest and back from the places where he put out his cigarettes on me" I say bitterly.

I watch as Denise's hand files to her mouth in shock.

"Didn't Ella stop him?" she asks.

I shake my head, "You have to realise by this point in her life she was as terrified of him as I was he abused her too. He would hit her, most of my thrashings came from me trying to protect her and she was so far gone on the drugs, she needed him and so she basically let him do as he pleased. Anyway, in the end my mother died of an overdose, I was alone with her for four days before we were found, he was the one who found us, he came in found her and I hid, but he found me and beat me one last time before calling the police to call in the death, and then he left and locked the door and left me alone again with her" I pause searching Denise's face for signs of distress.

"Go on" she says quietly.

"The police came and found me and I was taken to the hospital, I was in a bit of a state. I was dehydrated and malnourished, and I had open infected wounds on my body and other injuries from his abuse. The paediatric doctor on duty that night in ER was Grace. She was so kind and patient with me, you have to remember the only touch I knew was harsh so I feared being touched. It physically hurt me to be touched. But she was patient with me and I thought she was an angel, then I was put into foster care, I didn't realise it at the time but Carrick and Grace were applying to adopt me. They kept visiting me and I met Elliot and eventually I went to live with them and was adopted by them, we moved from Detroit to the North West and I grew up in Bellevue, Washington. I was pretty messed up from my early experiences and I hated being touched by anyone and as a result I turned into an angry young man, when I hit puberty, when I was 15 I... I..."

I stop and I look up to see Ana walking up to me and sitting down beside me. She grips my hand and takes up the story.

"When Christian was 15, he was seduced by a so called family friend, who turned out to be a serial paedophile, and she introduced him to a lifestyle which he believed helped him for a long time but he now realises was abuse. She is currently in prison - she also has links to Gideon and myself, although we didn't realise this until recently and that is another story. When I first met Christian he was a closed off man who refused to acknowledge love or any emotions at all, he had rules and liked total control, and well… I didn't stand for it did I?" she looks at me and I smile at her.

"No baby you didn't" I pause and return my attention back to Denise, "Ana changed me, she made me realise I was worth loving, she showed me unconditional love and affection and she made me a better man. I still have a fear of being touched by people I don't know, but she is helping me slowly overcome it, Ana can touch me in my forbidden area's as can my mother – Grace, and my sister Mia. Mia has always been able to touch me as I knew her from her being a tiny baby and knew she wasn't any threat to me, but I still struggle to this day when my father hugs me, and Elliot and Gideon both know where to touch me so not to panic me".

"Oh my god Christian that is the most heartbreaking story I have ever heard, what you have been though, no child should ever have seen or witnessed. Denise is crying and gripping my hand tightly.

"Christian I really would like to hug you. I understand your fear, but please, tell me where I can touch you without causing you distress," she is almost pleading with me.

I stand up and Ana stands with me, "Christian she won't hurt you," Ana says quietly to me and I nod.

I look at Denise and I know I have to do this and I make a sudden decision, "Just do it" I say and I brace myself.

I feel her step closer and I panic slightly as Ana steps away from me. As I feel Denise's arms go around me I go rigid and she immediately pulls away.

"No I can't, you are in such obvious distress I can't cause you any more," she says sadly as she steps back, I realise I need to do something and I reach for her.

"No" I say a little more sharply than I intended and taking a deep breath I wrap my arms around her. She moves her hands to my arms and slowly and deliberately I feel them moving to my back, I try and control the urge I have to flinch, and I stiffen.

"Oh Christian" Denise says, she keeps still and I gradually start to relax in her arms, I feel her tears and I after a moment my own start to flow.


	70. Chapter 70

CHAPTER 70

**(ANA)**

I am standing watching the scene in front of me, my husband in the arms of his aunt they are both crying and I feel my own tears starting to fall.

This is an incredible moment. This is the closest Christian is going to get to a hug from his biological mother, and the meaning for both of them to have this connection is huge. They both need this moment. I dash away my tears which are now falling freely and quietly go to leave the two of them alone, this is undoubtedly also a private moment and I feel as though I am intruding on it, as I go though Christian lifts up his head and sees me.

"Ana, don't go," he says.

I turn and he is holding out his hand to me, I walk over and take it.

"Christian this is a moment between you and your aunt I don't want to intrude on it" I say.

Christian shakes his head "No baby, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been able to have this moment, I need you here" he says.

Denise looks at me and smiles, carefully and gently she eases herself from Christian's arms and turns to me, and hugs me tightly.

"I'm so happy he has you," she says.

Christian excuses himself and leaves us for a moment, I watch as he heads towards the bathroom and as we sit back down on the sofa, I can tell Denise has something on her mind.

"Ana? Who was the woman who abused Christian when he was a teenager?" she asks.

I sigh, "We knew her as Elena Lincoln, but she had several alias's she moved around the country preying on young children, she was also linked to me, via one of my step fathers, my late mother remarried a few times and husband number 3 was a man called Stephen Morton who was Elena's step brother or something, I forget now the relationship. She also spent time in New York and was part of a paedophile ring there and Christian's brother Gideon knew of her, he knew her as Sybil Hanson though. It was all pretty twisted and the links between us all were unbelievable, there are other links as well but I won't go into that now. But she is in prison now, last year Stephen Morton and Elena kidnapped me hoping to extort money out of Christian, Elena was also pretty deluded as she thought Christian loved her. She had such a hold over him for such a long time, because he honestly thought she had helped him, but in reality she was just manipulating him".

Denise looks at me, "Is that the trial which happened last year?" she asks.

I nod, "It was," I say.

"We got some coverage of it here in Detroit but we didn't get all the details" she says. "It was the same with the trial recently about the helicopter sabotage." she says.

"It's been an eventful time, I'm just glad Christian is finally getting some peace of mind and closure for the first time in his life, he is a wonderful man, and he has so much love in his heart he deserves this" I say.

"How did you two meet?" Denise asks.

I smile at the memory, "I interviewed him for the college newspaper, Christian was due to come to the graduation ceremony to confer the degree diploma's later on, and my friend Kate who worked on the college newspaper had managed to get an interview with him, unfortunately the day of the interview she was ill with the flu and so she commandeered me to drive to Seattle and interview him instead, and I literally fell head first into his office, and the rest as they say is history" I say.

"I first met Christian at the beginning of the year and by August we were married!" I shrug.

Denise's mouth drops open "That is very fast," she says.

I nod, "it was, but we went through so much in the preceding weeks it was almost like we had lived a lifetime by the time we married. He pursued me pretty comprehensively and it was quite heavy and intense between us, but we had a fundamental difference of opinion on how the relationship would continue and so I left him. Shortly after I left him, I discovered I was pregnant which was a shock to say the least. Christian wasn't happy about it either when I told him, so when I was offered a job in New York by Gideon who I had previously met there while on a business trip I was on with my employer, and I took it, but Christian came around about the baby and tried to win me back, before I left for New York we reconciled, but it was while I was in New York I was taken and Gideon and Christian worked together to get me back and it was during that whole time they discovered the links with Elena and they became close friends".

"So, it was you who introduced Gideon to Christian?" Denise asks.

I nod, "they knew _of_ each other, but had never met, until I brought them together" I say.

"So you went to live in New York, but you returned to Seattle?" she asks.

I nod, "Yes, I eventually returned to Seattle with Christian, unfortunately I miscarried our son but then we married – Christian and Gideon organised it all as a surprise for me at one of Gideon's hotels and it was around that time Gideon met Eva and fell in love, then we had the awful situation when Charlie Tango Christian's helicopter crashed and he was missing for several hours, and when we found him he was badly hurt, for a while he couldn't walk as he had bruised his spinal cord, but Christian being Christian stubbornly fought back and got himself back on his feet".

I pause as Denise gasps in shock at this.

"He couldn't walk?" she asks incredulously.

I nod, "He has made unbelievable progress, it is only very recently, in the last week or so he has stopped using his crutches and he still walks much slower than he did previously, he gets tired much quicker than he used and he walks with a slight limp now, but the fact he is walking at all is unbelievable" I say.

"And you are having a baby" Denise says pointing at my bump.

I nod, "Yes, just before Christmas I found out I was pregnant again, and as you know Gideon and Eva are also expecting a child which is why Eva isn't here, she is a couple of months in front of me. It was after the helicopter crash trial we discovered information about Christian's biological father, he was told it was Joel Cross and naturally considering Joel was dead, Gideon agreed to provide a DNA sample as at that point he thought his father was Joel's brother Geoffrey Cross and the DNA would prove Gideon and Christian were cousins if the story we had been told was correct, then the DNA results came back saying they were half brothers on the paternal side which then opened up a whole new can of worms, and it was then that Gideon's mother admitted that Joel was also Gideon's father, its all been pretty unbelievable. There has been so many links between us all. But now all I want is a bit of peace and quiet for a while" I say.

I think about what I have just said, its a pretty condensed version of events and I know I have omitted certain things but I think for the most part it is all Denise needs to know.

I look up and see Christian walking back towards us he sits down beside me and grasps my hand, he looks at Denise carefully.

"Aunt Denise, come back to Seattle with us?" he asks.

Denise stares at him not quite believing what he has just said.

"Look, you said yourself two weeks ago you were all alone and now you have me, Ana and all my family, so come back to Seattle with me, you can stay with us until you find something, you can sell your apartment here in Detroit" he stops and looks at her.

"Christian that is a lovely idea, but Detroit is my home, my husband and sister are buried here, and my life is here, I love this city" she says, "It would be huge for me to uproot and move, can I think about it?" she asks.

Christian looks disappointed but nods, "Of course you can" he says.

There is a knock at the door and Taylor appears with some paper work in his hand.

"Excuse me sir the paperwork has come through from the realtor about the apartment block" he says.

Christian holds out his hand "Thank you Taylor" he says as he accepts them.

"What's that?" Denise asks looking at the papers in Christian's hand.

He looks up at her, "The apartment block where I lived with Ella... my mother, it is empty and abandoned. It was up for sale and I bought it, and I am going to destroy it, erase all trace of it" he says.

"I see" Denise says, she looks at him carefully, "Far be it from me to interfere but couldn't you do it up and refurbish it and turn it into a affordable housing for the people of Detroit?" she asks.

I see Christian consider this and then I have an idea, "Or... have a Detroit branch of the safe house idea Gideon was talking about" I say.

Christian's head snaps around to mine and he looks at me, I can almost see his mind putting an idea together, his hand immediately reaching for his phone he pulls it out and dials a number.

"Gideon could you come to our suite now we have an idea we want to run past you" he says.

A few moments later and the door opens and Gideon appears, he smiles at Denise who immediately stands to leave.

"No don't go," Christian says reaching out to her, "I have just had a further idea which would include you," he says.

Denise looks surprised and sits down again, Gideon also sits down and looks expectantly at Christian.

Christian turns in his seat to face his brother, "I have bought the apartment block where I lived as child with my mother, it is abandoned and derelict and in dire need of renovation. My original idea was to remove all trace of it; but Ana has had an idea which could work, this safe house idea of yours. How about if I had it renovated and turned it into a Detroit branch safe house? Vidal Manor would be the New York safe house, the renovated apartment block – which is a total blank canvas, we could do anything we wanted with it and make it state of the art, could be a Detroit branch and I'm sure I could find some place suitable in Seattle which I could buy and convert to a West coast branch so there would be three safe houses as a starting point and we could expand from there. It's not like we don't have the resources to make this work. So what do you say?" he says.

I watch and see Gideon thinking this over, he almost bristles with excitement as he thinks about it.

"I think that would be a wonderful idea if we get organised we could have them all opening simultaneously and use the media to our advantage and get as much publicity for this as we can get. Look at how they went into meltdown with the simultaneous baby announcement, imagine what we could achieve with something like this, we went public about our pasts at the trials so its all out there and I'm not above using that information to help others. It's time we stopped being ashamed of what was done to us, we did nothing wrong. We were both abused but now we can turn things around and use our hideous experiences for good, and to help others – what do you say?" he says.

I watch Christian think this over, "You're on" he says.

"Were you a victim of abuse too Gideon?" Denise asks carefully.

Gideon looks at her and nods sadly, "I was, after the man who I thought was my father committed suicide my mother remarried and I was a mess so they put me into therapy, unfortunately the therapist who they engaged turned out to be paedophile and a rapist," he says bitterly.

Denise looks at him in shock, "You were raped?!" she gasps.

"Yes" Gideon says shortly.

Denise immediately moves towards him and wraps her arms around him and although surprised Gideon accepts the hug. I see Denise thinking about something as she eventually pulls away from Gideon.

"Excuse me Christian but where do I come in to this?" Denise asks.

Christian turns to her, "We will need someone in Detroit to oversee the renovations and then to run the safe house. The idea is a safe house for children who have been physically and sexually abused and raped, somewhere where they can go and be safe, with trained professionals on site. Gideon will be on hand in New York to oversee the New York site and I will be in Seattle but we need someone we can trust for the Detroit branch, what do you say? You said your home is in Detroit, although I would like you to come to Seattle to live with us, I don't want to uproot you if you really want to stay in Detroit. This will give you an income, and you will be in full control on the ground and only answer directly to me or Gideon?" Christian stops speaking and looks at Denise carefully.

I look at my husband and see he is as excited about this idea as Gideon and I smile, this is just what they both need and as Gideon said, make something positive out of a negative.

"I would love to" Denise says, I turn to her and she has a gleam in her eye, "I have reason to do this, what you told me about what happened to you and Ella, at the hands of that animal, and also what happened to you Gideon, if I can be a part of something which helps other children get out of such a situation then I will, count me in," She says firmly.

"Excellent" Christian says in a satisfied tone.

"Also, I might be of help with people who approach us for help as I am a fully qualified trained nurse" she says hesitantly.

Christian beams at her and nods enthusiastically, "It certainly would" he says.

Gideon stands to leave, "We will discuss the details later, but I think this is a fantastic idea and it has so much potential, with our resources the sky is the limit" he says.

He smiles us, "but if you will all excuse me I am going to go and Skype my wife now" he says.

"Give Eva our love" I say as Gideon turns to leave.

"I will" he says over his shoulder as he disappears.

"I think I'll get going too, I have things I need to do and you two don't want me hanging around all day" Denise says.

Christian leans forward and kisses her cheek, "I'll get Taylor to take you home" he says.

Denise goes to protest but with a glare from my husband she stops and smiles, "Alright thank you Christian that would be nice," she says.

Christian nods, "You will join us for dinner tonight?" he asks but somehow I know it is more of a demand than a question.

I watch as Denise hesitates, "Well I don't want to be a bother" she says.

Christian gives her an exasperated look, "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you here" he says.

"Thank you Christian I would love to" she says.

I watch Christian call Taylor and moments later he appears to take Denise home, she hugs me and then turns to Christian, my heart fills with pride as he doesn't hesitate, he opens his arms to her and envelopes her in a huge hug, then he walks her to the door of the suite and says goodbye.

When the door closes he turns to me, his demeanour has totally changed, and he has turned into something far more predatory.

"Now Mrs Grey, I believe you were looking to play on the plane as I recall?" he says a salacious glint in his eye.

I gasp, I had forgotten that, but he obviously hadn't and now the idea is in my mind again it seems like the best idea in the world and all I want to do.

"Oh yes... sir" I say.

Christian takes a sharp breath in and before I know it he has grasped my hand and he is striding towards the bedroom.

He lays me on the bed, and without taking his eyes from mine he slowly undresses me so I am lying naked, then he undresses himself and straddles me, he strokes my bump lovingly and looks at me carefully.

"I am more than willing to play, but I don't want to hurt you, or the baby. So this will be very controlled and it won't be as intense as what we have done in the past, in fact this will be tame compared to some of the things we have done previously, do you understand?" he asks.

I nod at him my excitement is rising, Christian looks around the room, we are improvising and this excites me even more, I am practically panting for him. I watch as he fetches the robes and removes the belts from them with one swift movement my hands are above my head and tied to the headboard with one of the belts.

"OK?" he asks anxiously, I nod.

He looks carefully at me and then nods and moves to my legs, he rummages in his bag and pulls out a tie, not my favourite silver grey one but another of his many ties.

He pauses and then unties my hands again and reties them using the tie instead, I realise he wants to use the robe belts on my ankles. The bed has a matching footboard and Christian spreads my legs and pulls me gently towards the bottom of the bed, so my arms are stretched out straight, but I am too small I still don't reach the foot of the bed. I watch him think and then a smirk crosses his face, and he unties me and leads me out to one of the sofas instead, he ties one ankle to one leg of the sofa and the other to the other leg, I am spread wide and open for him.

"Are you comfortable baby?" he asks.

I nod, he pauses and then fetches his pyjama bottoms, and he pulls the cord out and smiles at me. I watch him walk around the room, he fetches the ice bucket from the bar and he plucks a feather from a decorative display and brings that over and places it on the table.

He walks around the sofa looking at me then he take the tie and covers my eyes with it.

My senses are immediately heightened, and I wait the next thing I know I feel something stroking over my bump I shiver anticipating the next move and then I feel Christian's mouth on my nipples he nips them and sucks on them, I moan as he does this.

Then out of the blue he slides something between my legs I realise it must be the pyjama cord I shiver again as the cord touches me, and then suddenly I jump as he flicks me with it between my legs.

"Are you alright?" he asks immediately.

I nod.

"Answer me" he snaps.

"Yes Christian, I'm fine" I say, he flicks me again a few more times, but he hasn't done it hard and there was no pain and I am practically writhing with want for him.

I feel his mouth near my ear, "Do you want me to fuck you now?" he whispers.

"Yes" I whisper.

I feel him pull on my nipple and I gasp, "Yes what?" he says.

"Yes sir" I reply.

I feel him smile then his hand moves down my body then I get a cold wet sensation on my nipples I realise he must have taken some ice cubes from the bucket, then he moves his hands down and the next thing I know that same cold wet feeling is being pressed against my throbbing clit I gasp in shock at the sensation.

"Alright?" Christian asks again.

"Yes, I'm fine" I reply again. I am desperate for him and he knows it I wonder what he is going to do next, the next thing I feel is my legs being untied and Christian pulling me forward, he pulls me to my feet and turns me around.

"Kneel down here baby" he says and he helps me lower myself.

He has placed cushions on the floor for me and he places my hands on the sofa seat. He pushes his hand between my thighs and pushes my legs apart.

"I'm going to take you from behind baby, and I'm going to take you hard, if you feel uncomfortable or if you feel any pain at all at any point just say stop and we stop ok, and I will take you to the bed and we will just make love ok?" he asks.

"Yes Christian I understand" I say.

I feel him once again running an ice cube on my nipples and then he runs another one down my spine. I hold on to the cushion and wait. I feel him, he is behind me and then his hands are gripping my hips and the next thing I realise he is thrusting hard inside me and pulling me back on to him.

As I gasp he stills and once more asks if I am alright.

"I'm fine Christian, I'm not made of glass" I say.

With these words encouraging him he starts to move, it's a punishing pace he is setting and I am meeting him thrust for thrust, this is what I wanted. I adore our sweet love making but I have missed this side of our relationship, I will never get on board with the heavy stuff but a little kinky fuckery now and again is more than fine with me. I hear him grunting with every thrust and I am moaning as I move with him, this is so good.

I can feel my orgasm building and I know Christian can sense it too, as the pace increases to an almost insane level, I can't control it I start to tighten and quiver and as I explode around him I grip the cushion and call out his name. My head bows down and after a couple more thrusts I feel him still and then the warmth of him coming violently inside me. He kisses my back, and then leaning back he pulls me into his lap, he removes the blindfold and keeps pressing kisses all over me. He is still inside me and when he shifts and slides out I almost feel bereft of the contact, it was raw and hard but to me it was still making love.

"Let's take a shower baby" Christian says and helps me to my feet.

He leads me into the bathroom and we step into a huge shower cubicle, as he reverently washes me and cleans me I feel him getting aroused again, I reach down and grasp him, and I hear him moan.

"Take me again... in here" I say.

He stares at me and grins, and he turns me around so I am facing the wall and the next thing I know he is once again filling me, and pumping into me.

Two hours and three more orgasms later we finally leave the shower.


	71. Chapter 71

CHAPTER 71

_The next morning..._

We are all at the airport, everyone is on board Christian's plane, ready to head back to Seattle but Christian and I are about to board Gideon's plane, as we are going to New York and we are going to help Gideon get his closure and revenge on one Dr Terry Lucas.

After our time together yesterday Christian had gone to Gideon's suite and they had discussed the details. Gideon had called Eva and I had joined them we had hashed out a workable plan. I smile at the memory of Eva demanding to be included despite Gideon's reservations. In the end he had reluctantly agreed to allow her to accompany me with the Anne Lucas offensive.

At this moment though, Christian is hugging his aunt and saying a fond goodbye to her with the promise he will be in touch soon and that he and Gideon will return to Detroit to help with the safe house refurbishment. Denise had also hugged Gideon and whispered something in his ear which had made him swallow hard and blink furiously. I smile, Gideon has experienced more love and acceptance from all Christian's family than he ever had from his own family, although that has changed since his reconciliation with Christopher and the growing relationship between him and his stepfather.

Denise turns to me, "Goodbye Ana, you take good care of yourself and that great niece of mine," she says, and I nod as I hug her tightly.

"I will" I say, "and you take care of yourself too" I add.

I turn to see Christian's GEH jet taking off and I know we have to get a move on as it will be our turn next, we climb up the steps and turn at the top to wave once more at Denise before taking our seats on the plane.

**oooOOOooo**

When we land in New York Angus is waiting with the Bentley and Eva is waiting for Gideon and she throws herself at him as reaches her after running down the steps. She turns and grins at me as I gasp at the size of her, she has ballooned in the few weeks since I last saw her. She hugs me and then turns to Christian.

"Holy cow Eva, you are huge!" he says tactlessly.

"CHRISTIAN!" I exclaim and I slap his arm.

Everyone laughs and Eva nods rubbing her bump, "Well it's true, I am," she agrees.

Raul has brought one of Gideon's Merc's for us to take us to our apartment, and he greets Jason warmly as he hands over the keys to him.

After a brief rest at our apartment Christian and I head over to Gideon's penthouse. When we arrive we see Christopher and Chris are there and it appears they too want to be involved in the plan. We sit and work out all the details and it is decided I will go and confront Anne Lucas, Eva will accompany me and we will take the recordings and evidence we got from our time with her husband.

Chris is going with Christian and Christopher to confront Lucas himself. Gideon is not being involved with either confrontation, as we have agreed that if he is present it will only make them clam up and refuse to talk. But his moment will come and he will hopefully get his closure in the final very public humiliation of Lucas at a charity event which he is attending, ironically to benefit abused children, he has a copy of the footage Eva and I captured and we are hoping that Eva and I will get Anne on board by the time Chris, Christopher and Christian do their part, meaning Gideon's final revenge will proceed smoothly. We ask Gideon several times if he is totally happy about all his dirty laundry being aired in public and he nods firmly.

"It's the only way. I am not to blame for what happened to me, so I have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, and this way I will destroy him the way he tried to destroy me, he lied and alienated me from my family for years, this way he will be alienated from his family and also he will be finished as a paediatrician," he says.

We smile at him, but I do know that just to be sure Christian has called John Flynn and asked him to fly out to New York to be on hand when this all goes down. He had called John and told him about everything which had happened in Detroit and John was overjoyed with the outcome. I think he realises that Christian probably won't be requiring his services for much longer and he is absolutely delighted that emotionally speaking Christian has finally got his life together.

I have also been working on another angle since the idea of helping Gideon get his closure with Lucas came up. I had called Damien and asked for everything he had on Hugh Sommerton regarding his relationship and friendship with his mother to add to the proof we had already gained. Damien had been a complete star and dredged up various documents and photographs which not only proved Hugh's seedy life, and in some cases quite graphically, but also placed him in New York at the time of Gideon's abuse.

It appears Elena had kept incriminating information on all her '_friends_' should she need to call in favours to get herself out of trouble. He also told me something interesting, he had told me he had passed on the information to Gareth Somerton. He had been in contact with him after the confrontation with him at Cross Publishing in Seattle and they have surprisingly become friends, bound by their tragic pasts and their sick parentage. He now totally believed his father was a paedophile and wanted the opportunity to apologise to Gideon for what he did, I asked Damien for a phone number so I could call Gareth and after running it past Luke I called him and arranged for him to be in New York to help us.

I glance at my phone and see a text from Gareth it simply states _**arrived in New York**_.

I walk over to Jason and pull him to one side and quickly explain what I have done, he stares at me, I think he's not quite believing what I have told him, but thankfully he then smiles as I ask him to go and fetch Gareth.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Christian asks as I am whispering to Jason.

I turn and walk towards Christian and Gideon, I know I must look as guilty as hell as I see Christian's eyebrow rise significantly. I reach for Christian and take his hand in mine.

"I've been doing a little work on this myself," I say, I look around and I see I have everyone's undivided attention.

"I called Damien and asked him to see if he could find anything which would link Hugh to the paedophile ring which we knew he was involved in with Elena. Well it seemed Elena liked to keep incriminating evidence about her friends on hand in case she needed to blackmail them and Damien has come up trumps and handed over everything to me, but since Christmas he has also become friends with Gareth Somerton, Hugh's son".

I glance at Gideon, "Do you remember him, the man who posed as an author to gain access to you?" I ask, Gideon nods and Christian is staring intently at me.

"Anyway," I continue, "He now totally believes about his father and he and Damien have become friends, and he wanted to see you, Gideon. To apologise for his behaviour before and so I kind of called him and invited him to New York when it was decided what was happening, as I thought he would be useful to have on side".

I stop and wait as I look nervously at the four men staring at me, when Eva breaks the silence with a snort of laughter.

"Ana you are a fucking legend, that has to be the best thing ever, he could come with us to confront Anne, after all she is his aunt it would help get her on side," Eva says.

"I don't know what to say Ana, apart from thank you but that seems inadequate for what you have done" Gideon says.

Christian smiles at me, "Baby, you never cease to amaze me!" he says, as he hugs me tightly.

I let out a sigh of relief as the room erupts into excited talk and I nod at Jason who quietly slips away to go and fetch Gareth.

Half an hour later Gareth Somerton is standing in Gideon's penthouse along with, much to everyone's surprise, Damien, who insisted on accompanying him.

It seemed he had found some more incriminating photographs of Hugh which Elena had in her possession and they show Hugh having sex with a series of obviously underage boys in what looked like a BDSM dungeon.

Gideon blanches when he sees the photographs and clapping his hand over his mouth he rushes to the bathroom. Eva quickly follows him, when he eventually returns still looking a little shaken, we decide to get things moving.

It is decided that Gareth will accompany myself and Eva along with Raul to Anne Lucas's office and while we are there Chris, Christopher and Christian are going to confront Terry Lucas and Damien is going with them. We have copies of all the disgusting photographs, but I hope we don't need to use them.

Christian hugs me tightly as we go and tells me several times to be careful, I nod at him and tell him not to worry about me. I glance across the room to Gideon who is clinging to Eva and doing the same thing.

I see Angus appear and I realise he is going to be on hand to stay with Gideon while we are all out getting the evidence we need for the final showdown at the charity event tonight. I think our visit will be more of a fact finding mission though, as I am convinced Anne Lucas is oblivious to the actions of her husband and brother.

Eva and I are both buzzing as we climb into the Bentley and Raul drives us to Anne Lucas's office. We walk in as she is standing in the reception area talking to her receptionist. I glance at Eva in question and she nods to confirm this is the woman we want. Anne Lucas turns and she recognises Eva and Gareth but looks at me in confusion.

Eva takes the lead "Anne? Anne Lucas? We need to talk to you" she says with no preamble immediately getting her off balance.

Gareth steps forward and kisses his aunts cheek, "Aunt Anne how are you?" he asks politely.

Anne is at a loss and just stares at us all. "What's going on?" she asks eventually.

Eva smiles at her, "Anne, may I call you Anne? We have come to talk to you, may we go into your office as I don't think you will want what we have to say broadcast in public".

Anne nods and absently invites us into her office, I look around it is not dissimilar to John Flynn's office but doesn't have the nice warm atmosphere of John's, it feels cold and sterile.

She invites us to sit down. "What's going on?" she asks.

Eva smiles, "Anne, we are here because of something that happened to my husband many years ago which has had repercussions to this point and involved your husband and subsequently involved you".

Anne nods but doesn't say a word, as Eva continues. I can't help but notice the icy look which appeared in her eyes when we mentioned Gideon.

"Your nephew is here to corroborate what we are going to tell you, and this is my friend Ana Grey who is married to Christian Grey and they have helped us gather evidence to support what we are about to tell you".

She stops and looks at Anne Lucas, then takes a deep breath.

"You know my husband, Gideon Cross?" she asks.

Anne's face hardens immediately and she nods "He used me, you need to be careful of that man he is heartless narcissistic sociopath, I fear for you and your child, he will break you and then he will discard you" she says.

Eva hold's up her hand, and reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope.

"This is for you, Gideon has written you a complete apology for the way he behaved towards you, he wanted to see you and talk to you in person, but we felt considering what we want to say, it would be better if he was absent, I will give you this when we have finished talking so you can relate what he is apologising for with the information we are about to give you, is that alright?" Eva looks at Anne questioningly and Anne nods but now looks more than a little confused.

"Good" Eva says, and then takes another deep breath.

"There is no easy way to say this, but when Gideon was a child he was raped, he was sexually abused and raped over the period of a year or so, he was abused by a mental health professional that was sent to help him with the suicide of his father. The name of that person was Hugh Somerton. Hugh Somerton was Gideon's rapist".

Eva holds her hand up as Anne opens her mouth to protest.

"We have evidence which proves this fact and unfortunately that evidence also involves your husband. Gideon told his mother what had happened to him and she sent him to a paediatrician to be examined, and that paediatrician was your husband, and when the results came back your husband destroyed them and faked another set and lied about the findings, to protect you because it was your brother who was involved".

I reach into my purse and pull out a recorder and press play, and the voice of Terry Lucas fills the room on the recording we got when we confronted him. I also pull out the transcribed conversation and push it towards Anne and she stares at it in horror as she listens to the tape.

She shakes her head, and Gareth steps in, "its true Aunt Anne, I know it's horrible but it is true, dad was in a paedophile ring along with a woman who called herself many names but while she was in New York she was called Sybil Hanson" he says earnestly.

Anne Lucas gasps at the mention of this name, "Hugh introduced me to her once," she says.

Gareth pulls out the graphic photographs of Hugh and pushes them towards Anne, "these were other children he violated. Sybil kept these as an insurance policy against him" he looks at his aunt who is now crying and looks as though she wants to throw up.

"Hugh was always a troubled soul, but I had no idea he was so sick," she looks at Gareth, "He didn't touch you did he?" she asks.

Gareth shakes his head, "No, I was very young when he died, but from what I have discovered about him, I believe that I would have become one of his victims eventually.

"Why now? Why have you come to me with this now?" she asks looking at us in confusion.

I lean forward to speak, "Gideon is trying to rid his life of the demons which have plagued him, he is married now and about to become a father, but he still suffers terrible night terrors from what he went through when he was a child, and these have plagued him since that time, and he wants an end to it, and to do that he needs to confront Terry Lucas about his part in this. Terry Lucas has always denied any part in the abuse, and we had to get this information covertly, but Gideon is planning to finally confront him with it, you need to know that he is very bitter about what he did and he wants to destroy him professionally... which he is going to do tonight at the Charity Gala, he is planning to expose your husband for lying about what your brother did to him, he will be using this footage plus anything more we can get, and we felt it was only fair you knew about this, as it appears you too have been a victim, and you will be further affected when all this breaks. Gideon knows that he treated you badly, and we don't condone what he did, but it was because he was hurting, he has explained everything in the letter and he wants to make amends to you and get closure on this whole part of his life, and we are helping him because he has lived with it for too long".

I stop and watch as Eva pushes the letter across the table towards Anne.

Anne hesitates a moment and then takes it and opens it with shaking fingers and pulls out the piece of paper and begins to read. She stops and shakes her head and turning to Gareth offers it to him.

"I can't, can you read it?" she asks.

Gareth nods and takes the letter from Anne, he clears his throat and begins to read.

_"Dear Anne_

_I know that receiving a letter from me will come as a surprise to you, but I believe it is time to make amends for my past poor decisions._

_I want to humbly and whole heartedly apologise for what I did to you. It was wrong and I am not proud of my actions. You were the collateral damage, in my messed up bid for revenge against your husband and brother._

_I have my reasons for what I did, and although no excuse for the way I behaved towards you, I hope it gives you some idea of why I did what I did._

_When I was a child I was repeatedly sexually abused and raped by your brother Hugh, my mother took me to be examined, and she took me to your husband who lied and told her no abuse had taken place. This had the effect of alienating me from my family, a situation which to this day still exists. I am and I believe, I always will be estranged from my mother. I grew up very bitter about what had happened and as soon as I was in a position to do so, I confronted your brother and threatened him that if he laid a hand on another child I would help them get their justice, as I was unable to get mine. This threat along with the fact I exposed him as being a part of a paedophile ring resulted in his suicide which confirmed to me that there were indeed other victims and he did not want his secret life as a paedophile to be exposed._

_I thought this would help me but I was still haunted by memories of that time, and as a result when I met you and realised who you were and more importantly who you were married to, I used you to punish Lucas, for his part in what happened. When we were together I also noticed a similarity between you and Hugh in looks and mannerisms and in my mind the lines became blurred and I felt I was punishing Hugh through you. It was totally wrong of me to do this, you should never have been placed in that situation and I apologise for everything I did to you and I hope that one day you can accept my apology and find it in your heart to forgive me._

_Thank you for reading this._

_Regards,_

_Gideon Cross"_

Gareth stops speaking and silence descends on the room. Anne takes the recorder and plays it again listening to her husband lying and squirming and eventually admitting his guilt. She shakes her head sadly.

"All these years, and all these people hurt by my brother," she says, she looks up and looks at Eva and then at me.

"What is going to happen now?" she asks.

Eva leans forward, "We have this recording of him admitting his guilt, and as we speak Gideon's step father – Chris Vidal and his brothers Christopher and Christian are at your husbands office trying to get more out of him, and then tonight when Gideon makes his speech at the charity gala he is going to announce details of a project he and Christian are starting and he is going to explain why they are doing it and that is when he will expose your husband and his part in the abuse".

Anne nods and she seems oddly calm about all this.

"I will help you, this ends today," she says firmly.

"I will be at the gala and I will make sure Terry attends and gets his just deserts, there is no excuse for what he did, he is a paediatrician for Christ sake, he is supposed to take care of children not cover up heinous crimes".

She looks directly at Eva, "Please tell Gideon I accept his apology, but also tell him he needs proper psychiatric help to work through these issues," she says.

Eva nods, "I'll tell him, and you should know that he is receiving help, it took a lot for him to do that because as I'm sure you will appreciate he has a deep mistrust of therapists because of what your brother did, but I assure you he is getting the help he needs".

Eva holds out her hand to Anne, and Anne accepts it. Gareth hugs his aunt and kisses her cheek before moving towards the door.

I stand to leave and Eva stand with me but she hesitates and speaks again to Anne.

"Gideon just wants a clean sheet, he wants to rid his life of all the skeletons which have been plaguing him and move forward a fresh" Eva says.

Anne nods, "I can understand that" she says.

We thank Anne for her time and leave, I feel oddly nervous about tonight now. The enormity of what is going to happen has just hit me.

As we leave, I quickly text Christian to let him know everything went well.


	72. Chapter 72

CHAPTER 72

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am nervous. Not about what we are about to do, but I am worried about Ana. I hope that both she and Eva are alright.

The ride to Terry Lucas's office is a quiet one. Chris is a ball of anxiety, he takes his role of step father to Gideon seriously, even more so since the recent revelations and the guilt he is experiencing as a result, and at this moment he is feeling violent anger towards the man who hurt his son. Christopher is harder to read, he genuinely wants to help Gideon and this new found reconciliation between them is a good thing, I just hope that he will be in it for the long haul as the last thing Gideon needs is for Christopher to bail at some point in the future.

We arrive at Lucas's office and all troop in, the receptionist looks startled and reaches for the phone.

"That won't be necessary" I say in my clipped dominant CEO voice.

I watch as she replaces the phone receiver down again.

"Inform Dr Lucas we are here to see him" I add in an equally curt tone.

The girl nods and runs to Dr Lucas's office and knocks, moments later Lucas appears and blanches when he takes in the four of us.

"What's going on here?" he demands.

We walk past him and into his office without a word. I look at Chris and I am concerned as he is coiled spring, the normally mild mannered laid back man is a bundle of nervous energy.

"You need to tell us the truth Lucas, you need to tell us why you lied about Gideon and the truth about what you found," Chris says stepping forward menacingly.

I inwardly cringe, Lucas will just clam up if we are not careful, we have receivers on to record the conversation between us and we need his confession.

Lucas stares at him, "I have no idea what you are talking about?" he says. But his body language and the look on his face tell us he knows exactly what we are talking about.

Damien steps forward and throws the copies of the graphic photographs of Hugh on to the desk.

"The physical damage inflicted on Gideon Cross you covered up – could it have been caused by something like that?" he says.

Lucas glances at the photographs and he looks like he is going to be sick.

"I was protecting my wife, the association would have destroyed her career" he says.

"So you covered up the sexual abuse and rape of a child instead," Chris spits.

"I made what I thought was the right decision at the time, I have had to live with that decision, but it's not like he didn't get revenge on me. He slept with my wife, used her and broke her and I have to live with that fact as well".

I stare at him derisively and the words come tumbling out along with my anger at this reprehensible man.

"Oh poor you, you are such a victim. What about Gideon? He was a child, barely a teenager and he was crying out for help and with your actions – your lies, you destroyed his relationship with his mother. Because of you and what you told her she believed he was lying, and they have been estranged ever since. Your lies alienated him from the rest of his family until recently, because he assumed his mother had told them and they didn't believe him either. You are entirely responsible for the revenge he took on your wife because if you had simply told the truth, he would have received the help and treatment he needed and he wouldn't have been so fucked up by what had happened to him and there would have been no need for him to seek any fucking revenge".

Lucas shrinks back at my tirade and I can see I have totally shaken him, but I'm just getting warmed up.

"But remember this small but very significant fact and that is your wife wasn't blameless. He didn't force himself on her in fact the truth is she initially approached him and he allowed himself to be caught. She was a consenting adult and she agreed to have sex with Gideon despite the fact she was married to you, and I think that is what eats at you the most, the simple fact that your wife pursued Gideon and was interested in what he could offer her when she was supposed to be married to you" I say with a grin, I am taunting Lucas and he lunges forward.

"What the fuck has all this got to do with you Grey?" he shouts.

I lean towards him and slam my fist down on his desk, and he jumps violently and shrinks back.

"Because he is my god damned fucking brother and I protect my family. You lied and you made a heinous situation ten times worse by your deception, so don't fucking push me," I say coldly.

I see the confusion on his face as he tries to work out how I can possibly be Gideon's brother and he stares at me and then around to everyone else, his eyes linger on Damien and he frowns in confusion.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asks looking at Damien.

Damien smiles serenely and steps forwards his hand outstretched.

"Me? Oh I am your worst nightmare, my mother was a fellow sicko just like Hugh, in fact she was best buddies with your brother in law, they were in the same club, that is in the same paedophile ring in New York and I have gathered overwhelming evidence to prove exactly what Hugh Somerton was, because my mom bless her heart, kept incriminating evidence on all her friends just in case she needed a favour at some point. She made sure she had something really nasty that they would never want to see exposed which would then persuade them to help her and I'm pretty convinced at some point you probably met her at some social function. She went by many names, but while she was in New York it was Sybil Hanson, does that ring any bells?"

I watch as Lucas reacts to the name and blanches. Damien grins, he is clearly enjoying this and he touches his chin theatrically as if he is thinking.

"You know your part in this could look really quite suspect, people could put two and two together and think you were also involved with them… I mean, a paedophile who is the brother in law to a paediatrician, doesn't look good does it?"

I see a look of panic on Lucas's face.

"I'm NOT a paedophile, I couldn't believe it at first when Cross's mother came to me with her son, and the claims she made. I knew if I confirmed what had happened it would all get out about Hugh and it would destroy Anne, she was just starting up in practice and it was the last thing she needed. Cross suffered some physical damage but it wasn't too severe and I took the gamble that it would heal without intervention, and yes I covered up the abuse, I did it to protect my wife. But as I say he got revenge on me, he slept with my wife and he used her. I have to live with what my actions have done, I was glad when Hugh killed himself, I never liked him. I always knew there was something not right about him, even before it all came out about him raping Cross".

I stare at Lucas, I wasn't expecting it to be quite as easy as that, he has just willingly confessed everything.

"So, now you know, yes Hugh raped Cross when he was a child, yes there was evidence of the abuse and yes I covered up the rape of a child to protect my wife, but what proof do you have? It is my word against yours, the Statute of Limitations has long expired and considering the history I have with Cross - him sleeping with my wife, I doubt he would want that information coming out, so in my mind we are even, case closed," he looks at us defiantly.

I look around, "I think we are finished here gentlemen, I think we have all we need," I say.

We stand and leave and head back to the car. "Well, I don't think that could have gone any better we have everything we need there" I say.

"I wanted to deck the fucking bastard and beat him to a pulp," Christopher snarls.

Chris looks at him, "So did I son, but we need him in one piece for tonight, so Gideon can have his moment," he says.

We are heading back to the penthouse when I get a text from Ana; everyone looks around at me as I read it and smile.

_**Mission accomplished, Anne Lucas on side, v upset but also furious, all went well Ana x**_

I read it out and everyone smiles.

When we get back to the penthouse we fill Gideon in on the events of the visit and he listens to the recording we procured. I watch him carefully and I see the determination in his eyes, if he was having second thoughts about tonight, those doubts have been swept aside now.

A few moment later and our wives and Gareth arrive I stand and walk over to Ana and hug her tightly and Eva heads straight for Gideon.

"I gave her your letter, and she seemed touched by it and she said she forgives you," Eva says.

I watch my brother nod in understanding, but he doesn't say a word, he just hangs on to Eva as if she is a life raft.

We all sit down and they recount their meeting with Anne Lucas. We play the recording we got from Lucas and Eva smiles widely, she turns to Gideon and plants a swift kiss on his lips.

"Well it doesn't get much more conclusive than that, we've done all we can for you, it's down to you now, so go out there and get your closure," she says to him.

Gideon nods and looks around at us all.

"Thank you everyone for everything you have done, I am beyond grateful to you all" he says.

I look at the expression on his face and he seems almost stunned that everyone has rallied around and helped him the way that they have.

We all dismiss his thanks and Gideon looks around the room, "So that's that, now all we have to do is wait until tonight" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

_A few hours later..._

**(GIDEON)**

The sense of anticipation thrumming around the Penthouse is enormous. I can feel it, everyone is fully aware that this is it, no-one more so than me. I am going to finally get my closure, I really hope tonight I make in roads into putting my hideous past behind me; it will all be out there in the public domain every last repugnant detail.

I have hidden for far too long, I have danced to other people's tunes and I was effectively silenced and denied my justice when I was a child, so tonight I speak out and I get that injustice rectified. I managed to get tickets for Ana and Christian and also Damien and Gareth to attend, it was last minute but they weren't going to say no to me after all I am giving a speech tonight. I made certain they would be seated at my table along with Chris, Christopher and Ireland who are also attending.

I wasn't happy about Ireland wanting to being there, she is seventeen years old for gods sake she doesn't need to witness what goes down tonight, but when I had put this to her she had stared at me, with those blue eyes which are so similar to mine and said that she wanted to be there to support me when I got my justice. She had reminded me that I had shut her out of my life for far too long and now that I was letting her in I wasn't going to pick and choose what situations she was allowed to witness and be a part of.

Eva is accompanying me of course, and at this moment I am watching her get ready. She looks absolutely stunning in the formal gown she is wearing, which tastefully highlights her very pregnant belly. I can't believe how much it turns me on seeing Eva this pregnant, I had spoken to Christian about it and he said something which struck a chord. He had said, that he loves it that Ana is visibly pregnant for all to see as it is like a billboard saying Christian Grey was here and there was no doubt that in anyone's mind that she was undoubtedly totally his. I had realised that unconsciously I was probably feeling much the same. I had planted my seed inside her and she was walking around carrying my baby, a baby who had been made with our love... not to mention a good helping of passion and lust, and that very swollen belly told everyone that fact. I smile as my eyes follow her around the room. She turns and sees me looking at her and she gives me a smile which is so filled with love and affection, it make my breath catch.

"Are you alright?" she asks as she walks over to me.

I nod, "I am, I am just a little distracted by the view at the moment," I say with a salacious grin.

She rolls her eyes at me, "fiend" she says playfully, and she shoves my shoulder.

I grab her arm and pull her towards me, I place my hand on her bump and I kiss her.

"Are you sure you are going to be ok tonight?" I ask anxiously.

She pulls away and stares at me with her eyebrows raised, "Gideon, if you think I am going to let you go through tonight alone you have got rocks in your head. You have lived with this alone for too long, tonight you get to right that wrong and you have everyone who loves you right by your side".

She looks at me carefully, "Do you still want to go through with this? It's a huge thing you are going to do, and no-one would think any less of you if you decide not to do it".

I shake my head firmly, "No I want to do this, and I need to do it. I was silenced and this is my moment to speak out... do you… do you think anyone will believe me?" I ask.

This is my only fear, that I will do this, I will make the big gesture and go public with this information and then once again be branded a liar for what I am going to do tonight, just as I was branded a liar when I was child. I was silenced for years by that but then Ana and Christian believed me and it gave me confidence to start talking again, start telling people what had really happened and I got positive responses but telling family and close friends is completely different to telling a room full of people, and I have a real fear that it will backfire and that I won't be believed.

I see the compassion in Eva's eyes, she touches my face.

"I would hope with the work we have done and the evidence we are providing tonight every last person in the room will believe you" she says confidently.

"But just remember, the people who matter most already do. I believe you, Christian and Ana believe you and Chris, Christopher and Ireland believe you".

I nod, "You do realise the press are going to go ape shit over this tonight, we will be hounded for a while by them until they lose interest" I warn.

"Bring it on" she says almost aggressively.

I smile at her defiant look. My angel, she will stand and she will defend me until her last breath I have no doubt of that fact. I know this and it gives me strength and courage for what I am going to do.

I am waiting in the huge sitting room. I am ready, Chris, Christian, Christopher, Damien and Gareth are all ready and we are all standing waiting but there is not one single woman in here with us. The first to appear is Ireland, she looks beautiful and she walks over to me and slips her hand into mine.

"You scrub up pretty good big bro" she says with a grin.

I look down at her "You don't look too shabby either" I retort.

Moments later Ana and Eva appear, they are stuffing their phones into their purses and chattering and then they look up in unison and give us breath taking smiles. I glance at Christian and he whispers in my ear.

"Would you look at that bro. We are two lucky fucking bastards".

I nod in agreement at the comment and I hold out my arm to Eva who takes it, and Christian does the same for Ana. I look around at my family and my eyes linger on Damien and Gareth, we had rented them a tux each for tonight after inviting them to join us.

"Thank you for everything you two have done" I say to them.

They both nod and dismiss my thanks.

"If we are all ready, shall we go?" Christian asks.

I glance at Taylor and Raul who are accompanying us inside tonight and they both nod.

I take a deep breath, this is it. It has all come together quickly and surprisingly easily but this is it, this is my moment. We leave the penthouse as though we are heading off to war with a sense of anticipation, which I suppose in a way we are as I am waging war on my past and getting my justice at last.

**oooOOOooo**

As we all exit the limo, the press go ballistic. I look towards Ireland who looks terrified of the press pack scrum, and I am relieved when Chris and Christopher close in around her.

"Are you alright?" I ask her when we get inside.

She nods, "How do you live with that all the time?" she asks.

"One gets used to it" I say dryly.

We are now inside and almost immediately the vultures are circulating. Excitement has risen upon our arrival and word has quickly got around that not only have I arrived, but there is also another and totally unexpected billionaire businessman in the house and people immediately want a piece of us.

We move to the dining room and I check out the seating plan, we have the front centre table and we are all seated on it. I look to see where Lucas will be and to my delight he is on the table directly behind ours, centre second row. It couldn't be better as he has nowhere to run and hide. I look at Christian and tap my finger on the name on the seating plan, he leans forward and a wicked grin fills his face as he sees Lucas's name.

My guess is, he paid handsomely to get on that table to try and unnerve me and goad me, but the tables will be turned when I start to speak and he has nowhere to go. I check the sound system is ready for me to attach my recording, I have requested it saying I need it for my presentation, in reality it is for publicly humiliating Lucas when I play his words back to him for everyone to hear.

I am buzzing now; I am more than ready for this. We head back out and do the networking thing. I wonder if Eva's mother and step father will be attending, with Eva's past they normally make a point of supporting these causes.

"Eva, are your mother and Stanton here tonight?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No they are on vacation at the moment. I am quite pleased actually, with what is going to go down tonight my mother's reaction is the last thing we need" she says.

We find a spot to stand and people immediately start to approach us. It is tedious yet necessary, but at least I can stay in one spot and have people come to me. Christian stands beside me and he is wearing the same impassive look as I have on my face as people continuously approach us and we politely make conversation with them. Ana is standing dutifully holding Christians arm and I know she must be bored.

Eva hates this part of social functions. I glance at my wife knowing she gets bored standing beside me at these events and I immediately notice she is fidgeting as she rubs her back discreetly. Under normal circumstances she normally hides it well, but she must be feeling uncomfortable just standing there in heels being as pregnant as she is to be fidgeting the way she is tonight.

"Are you alright?" I ask her with concern.

She nods, "Just a little backache" she says.

I immediately put an end to the conversation someone is trying to have with me. My wife's comfort and well being is far more important, and our party moves to our table and it is like we are the pied piper as everyone follows and starts to take their places at the different tables. I spot Lucas and Anne.

I make eye contact with Anne and she smiles at me and almost imperceptibly nods, I see the compassion on her face and I feel a strange sense of calm descend on me, with that small gesture I know that she has forgiven me and that means a lot especially with what I am about to do as tonight will blow apart her life as well as Lucas's.

There are a number of speeches tonight and mine is the last and main one before dinner is served. I listen to the other participants and make a mental note of those who I will approach for the safe house project. Christian leans towards me and whispers his views on the people he thinks we could approach and it's uncanny the way we think alike and how we read people.

Then it happens, I hear my name being introduced and I take a deep breath and stand up, I button my jacket and run my hands down the front of it. Eva reaches for me and squeezes my hand and I look around the table at my family who all give me reassuring smiles. Chris tells me to go for it, Damien and Gareth both give me word of encouragement and Christian stands with me and embraces me.

"Go get your justice and bury that fucker" he whispers and I smirk and nod at his forthright comment.

Christian pulls away from me and retakes his seat and then filled with their love and support I move to the podium.

I look around the room; every person in the place is looking at me and waiting for me to speak. This is it this is my moment I have the complete attention of everyone in the room. My eyes come to rest on Anne and she nods at me once again and gives me a reassuring smile and I take a deep breath, grasp my moment with both hands and begin to speak.

"Good evening, I would like to start this evening with an announcement, as I am sure you have all noticed I have brought a number of guests with me tonight which isn't usually customary for me at these events. I would like to take a moment to explain why. I'm sure everyone here has recognised the unmistakeable Christian Grey and his lovely wife Anastasia. I am delighted they have taken time out of their busy schedules and flown all the way from Seattle to join me here tonight".

I look down at the table, "Christian if you don't mind I'd like you to join me a moment" I watch as Christian nods and stands up and walks towards me.

When he reaches me I gesture towards him and continue to speak to the audience.

"As I say this man needs no introduction, and every person in this room should instantly recognise him, and know of him and his work but what you don't know and what we would both like to announce tonight is we have recently discovered that Christian is in fact my brother".

I pause as the shocked gasps fill the room. I glance at the press who are now humming with this revelation. When the murmuring subsides I continue.

"It is a matter of public record that Christian was born in Detroit and was adopted by the Grey family. However, information recently came to light as to who his biological father could be".

I glance at Christian and look at him questioningly and he nods giving me permission to broadcast the details.

"We were told his father was my Uncle the Detroit businessman Joel Cross and as he is now sadly deceased, I immediately agreed to give a DNA sample to prove or disprove the link to the Cross family. We were expecting the result to return as either no link or showing us to be paternal cousins, so imagine our surprise, no shock when we were informed that we were actually paternal half brothers. We have since established that Joel Cross was indeed Christian's biological father and it has now been confirmed that he was also my biological father and not his brother the late Geoffrey Cross who I had grown up believing to be my father. We are announcing this and making the information public as we have nothing to be ashamed of as we are simply the innocent products of decisions made by others. We are delighted by this and can envisage nothing but positivity from this information. In the past year we have established a close personal friendship and this biological link can only strengthen and enhance the bond we already have".

I look around the room and there is a stunned silence, the official press pack are going wild texting, recording this and taking photographs and I know every one of them along with every person in the room is hanging on our every word. I know our PR departments will be swamped tomorrow with enquiries and I smile, I'm sure the press who had been given access weren't expecting this sort of exclusive scoop when they arrived tonight, and this is only the start.

I continue to speak.

"Christian and I are currently working together on a project which we believe will help numerous children and teenagers throughout the United States. In association with my Crossroads foundation, Christian and I are proposing to open a number of safe houses across the United States to shelter, assist and care for children and teenagers who have been physically and sexually abused. This is a cause close to both our hearts and initially we intend to open a safe house here in New York, one in Seattle and also one in Detroit, with the possibility of further houses planned for other states".

I pause and Christian touches my arm I look at him and I realise he wants to say something so I step aside and he takes my place at the microphone.

"Good evening everyone, I won't usurp my brother for long, I just want to put on record that I am delighted with the events which have happened to me personally and I am more than willing to assist my brother with his project, and honoured that he has asked me to. As some of you may be aware details of my own past and my brothers past came out last year during the trial of Elena Lincoln and Stephen Morton where we both gave evidence detailing the physical and sexual abuse we had both suffered as children. I will hand you back to my brother now who is going to speak a little about his own personal experiences and how we hope by setting up these safe houses children and teenagers who find themselves in an unsafe environment can leave confident in the knowledge that they can and will get the help and safety they deserve".

I along with everyone clap and Christian touches my arm reassuringly before he walks back to his seat.

I step back to the microphone and take a deep breath, I grip the side of the lectern and I look at Eva and I begin to tell my story.

"Thank you Christian. Christian and I had known _of_ each other for a number of years through the business world but had never personally met. However, last year we finally met face to face for the first time and it was when Christian and I met, circumstances happened which brought both our pasts crashing together, and a number of amazing and unbelievable links between our lives came to light".

I pause and take a sip of water.

"At the trial of Elena Lincoln and Stephen Morton last year I also gave evidence and told of how I knew her. I knew Elena Lincoln as Sybil Hanson a woman who I had become aware of in my pursuit of a paedophile ring here in New York. When I was a child I was sexually abused and... and... I was raped". I pause as once more murmurs fill the room.

I swallow hard and I look once more at Eva who is willing me on.

"When Geoffrey Cross – the man who I believed was my father at that point in my life committed suicide, my young life was turned upside down. My mother remarried and everything I had ever known was changing irrevocably. I was confused and grieving and I reacted it. My mother and step father put me into therapy to try and help me deal with the grief and emotions I was dealing with. Sadly things didn't proceed as expected as I was groomed, abused and raped by someone who was supposed to help me. Things escalated from inappropriate touching to the point where he violated me on several occasions. This man is now dead, his name was Hugh Somerton. I told my mother what was happening to me and she took me to a paediatrician to be examined".

I stop and I look directly at Lucas and I see the realisation on his face that I am going to reveal what he did.

"That paediatrician was Dr Terrance Lucas, and he is here tonight".

I point towards him sitting directly in front of me all eyes turn towards him and he sits rigid glaring at me, my heart is beating out of my chest, this is it this is my moment.

"He examined me and I believed that everything would be alright and that the abuse would stop, but unfortunately due to the decision he made that day my nightmare continued and my past still haunts me to this day. Dr Lucas, destroyed the results of the tests and he lied to my mother, saying no abuse had taken place, which resulted in me feeling violated all over again and also being immediately alienated from my family and branded an attention seeking liar. In the space of a few years I had lost my family twice. To this very day my mother and I are estranged and only very recently have I reconciled with my step father and siblings, who are all here supporting me tonight".

I pause and look at Chris, Christopher and Ireland who are all giving me their undivided attention and who are silently willing me on.

"Dr Lucas made his morally bankrupt decision because Hugh Somerton was his brother in law and he was trying to protect his wife from any potential fallout from her brother's reprehensible actions as at that point in time she had started up in practice as a therapist. As I grew up and tried to find out why a paediatrician would lie about something so serious I discovered the link between Dr Lucas and Hugh Somerton and I was angry. I was filled with intense hate towards both men for what they had done to me and that led me to make some decisions in my quest for revenge against Dr Lucas and indirectly at Hugh which I am not proud of".

I look at Anne and she nods at me, "I used Dr Lucas's wife, who was also Hugh's sister to try and get my revenge on Dr Lucas and on my past. I am not proud of what I did and I would like this opportunity to publicly apologise to Anne Lucas for my actions at that time and for involving her in something she should never have been brought into, as she was completely ignorant and innocent of what her brother and subsequently her husband had done".

"LIES, ITS ALL LIES" Lucas stands and bellows at me.

The shocked eerie stillness which follows silences him and he just stands there with all eyes on him glaring at me, anger radiating from him.

I realise now is the point where I reveal what Lucas had confessed and I nod to the technician at the side of the room and Dr Lucas's voice comes over the public announcement system, in the recordings Eva and Ana procured.

_"You'll never be able to prove anything, I shredded the original reports on the injuries Cross suffered, and its my word against yours, the Statute of Limitations ran out years ago, you don't have a chance of proving anything"._

I look at Lucas and watch as his face drains of all colour.

"I believe you said that to my wife and to Mrs Grey when they went to visit you in back January Dr Lucas, this is your voice on the recording is it not? I could play the conversation it in its entirety if you are unsure?" I say mildly.

He continues to stare at me, but I go in for the kill, "perhaps if I jog your memory a little more with what you said to my brothers and step father just this afternoon" I say and nod at the technician and once again Lucas's voice comes out loud and clear over the public announcement system.

_"I'm NOT a paedophile, I couldn't believe it at first when Cross's mother came to me with her son, and the claims she made, I knew if I confirmed what had happened it would all get out about Hugh and it would destroy Anne, she was just starting up in practice and it was the last thing she needed. Cross suffered some physical damage, but it wasn't too severe and I took the gamble that it would heal without intervention, and yes I covered up the abuse, I did it to protect my wife but as I say he got revenge on me, he slept with my wife and used her. I have to live with what my actions have done, I was glad when Hugh killed himself I never liked him I always knew there was something not right about him, even before it all came out about him raping Cross. So, now you know, yes Hugh raped Cross when he was a child, yes there was evidence of the abuse and yes I covered up the rape of a child to protect my wife but what proof do you have it is my word against yours, the Statute of Limitations has long expired and considering the history I have with Cross - him sleeping with my wife, I doubt he would want that information coming out so in my mind we are even, case closed"._

I watch as Anne looks at Lucas in disgust.

She is speaking to him and although I can't make out the words I am pretty sure she is telling him that they are finished. She stands and walks over to the podium, she walks up to me and hugs me tightly. I realise she is making a very public declaration that she forgives me for what I did to her.

"I believe you Gideon, and I accept your apology, you were not to blame for any of it, you were hurting and you were confused" she says quietly in my ear and then she simply releases me and gets down from the podium.

I look around the room. I feel slightly dazed, I've done it it's out there and it's over. Some would say tonight has been a car crash of epic proportion and I would agree to a point. Under normal circumstances I would balk at the idea of airing my dirty laundry in public like this, I have always been such a private man, but I have been hiding. Hiding because of other people's lies and decisions and tonight that comes to an end, I have exposed Lucas for the liar he is and in doing so I have no doubt in my mind that he will be finished as a paediatrician.

I have apologised for my poor decisions following that, and I have laid myself bare. I have stripped my life of all the dirty secrets which were slowly destroying me and for the first time I feel clean, I feel free. It's an amazing feeling I feel suddenly so light and different, this must be what Christian meant when he got his closure. This must be that inner peace he told me about, whatever it is I like it and I don't want to lose it.

I see Eva standing and waiting for me her arms open and I don't hesitate. She is my life, she is my future and I quickly walk towards my future and doing so I finally slam the door on my past. I walk into Eva's arms and she holds me tightly.

"You did it and I am so proud of you" she whispers in my ear.

I don't get chance to answer her as the next thing I realise all hell has broken loose. Raul and Taylor appear from nowhere and I realise that Lucas has come at me, I turn and the next thing there is a scream and gasps from around the room. It all happens so quickly I have no idea what is going on then I realise Eva is on the floor and Lucas is being dragged away, he has a look of horror on his face at what he has done and I turn to my wife panic and fear once again consuming me.

"EVA!" I scream and I am immediately crouching beside her and holding her in my arms.

"Angel talk to me, tell me you are alright, tell me the baby is ok" I beg.

"I'm fine, honestly calm down Gideon everything is alright and the baby is ok, she is protesting a little, here feel" she says as she grabs my hand and places it on her stomach I feel our daughter moving and kicking and the relief washes over me.

"What the hell happened?" I ask.

Eva giggles, "he went to hit you and you moved and so he got me instead" she says with a rueful smile.

"Did he hurt you? Can you move?" I ask her, calming down slightly at her words that she is alright but the fear is being replaced with rage at what he has done to my wife, but I control myself.

"I'm fine honestly, he tried to pull back when he realised it was me he was going to hit and its only because I am pretty unstable at the moment he managed to knock me over", she says.

She grips my hand and tries to move "please help me up" she asks.

I help her to her feet and as she stands there is a round of applause. I pull her into my arms and immediately my family close in around us.

"I need to take you to the hospital to get you checked out" I say firmly.

Eva shakes her head, "No, I'm fine honestly and besides I'm hungry, I need to have something to eat, I will go anywhere you want to after I have eaten," she says firmly.

I help her to her seat and sit down beside her. "After you have eaten we are going to the hospital and you are going to be checked out" I state firmly.

"Fine, if it makes you feel better" she says.

"It does" I say.

I look around and notice Christian isn't here. I lean towards Chris and try to attract his attention, "Where's Christian?" I ask.

"Dealing with Lucas" he says with a grin. "Raul and Taylor dragged him away and Christian is waiting with them until the police arrive.

I smile with a sense of satisfaction, I may not be able to pursue the older criminal activity but I can damn well have him charged with assault for tonight. I sit and the light free feeling I experienced a few moments ago returns as my fear for Eva and the baby subsides, and I let go of my anger.

I look around the table and notice Christian reappear and he takes the seat beside me, I also see he is flexing his hand and his knuckles appear to be a little bit red.

"Are you alright Eva?" Christian asks as he sits down.

Eva nods at him wordlessly as she is currently stuffing soup and a bread roll into her mouth.

He grins at her, and then turns to me, "Lucas is currently in the back of a police car being taken downtown and being charged with assault, I made a point of explaining in detail who he assaulted and who he intended to assault, I may have also dropped into the conversation that Eva's father was a Californian cop so that, along with the fact she is heavily pregnant, and the wife of a highly influential man who was also the intended target, not to mention the fact Raul and Taylor also filled them in on the details of why he wanted to assault you will mean Lucas will spend a fair while downtown tonight" he says smugly.

I gesture to his red knuckles and he grins again, "His face may or may not have accidentally come into contact with my fist at one point" he says.

We finish our dinner in peace, and I am shocked at the amount of people who make a point of coming over and offering their support towards the safe house project and offering words of encouragement to me personally for what I went through.

"See, I said everyone would believe you" Eva whispers in my ear.

I turn to her, "I believe you said you would hope everyone here would believe me, there is a difference" I say with a smirk.

"Semantics" She retorts and elbows me in the ribs.

When the meal has finished I decide its time to leave as I am desperate to get Eva checked out at the hospital despite her protestations that she is fine.

We leave with the promise we will let everyone know as soon as we can and Raul takes us to the hospital and after a thorough examination and scan Eva and the baby are given a full clean bill of health. Although it appears Eva will have a small bruise on her leg where she caught the chair as she fell. I sigh with relief at the doctors words and I quickly text everyone to let them know.

_**All is well – mother and baby both fine**_.

"See, I told you I was alright. There is no way I would have stayed if I thought anything had happened" Eva says to me.

I nod and pull her close, "I needed to make sure" I say, "you and our daughter are my reason for living, I was so scared and angry when I saw what that fucker had done".

"But I'm fine and our baby is unharmed" Eva insists.

"And now we have established that fact, I am happy and we can go home" I say.


	73. Chapter 73

CHAPTER 73

I am lying in bed looking at the ceiling, the enormity of what I did last night has now hit me. Every last dirty secret I had, is now out there in the public domain. I have been freed from the secrets, lies and denial of my past which lurked in the shadows, always there and always taunting me but last night I grabbed them by the scruff of the neck and dragged them kicking and screaming into the light and if last nights dream was anything to go by I am quietly confident that I am now finally starting to heal.

Eva is fast asleep beside me. I had, as usual slept apart from her and I have just crept into her bed since I awoke this morning. I roll on to my side and stare at her and at this moment she looks exactly like the angel I believe her to be. I am so lucky to have her, and with her own hideous past she understands me and supports me and our love is healing us both. My mind turns to my brother Christian, he and Ana are flying home today which makes me feel quite sad but his life and business are based in Seattle and that is where he belongs. He is only a phone call, or a Skype call away and with our resources, we can be physically together within a few hours, should either of us need help. He has made me promise that if I need him at any time day or night I am to call him immediately. This is a comforting fact to know that I have that kind of support and love, and something I haven't been accustomed to, until recently.

I wonder what today will bring? I have a fairly good idea of what is going to happen after last night's events. The press will be in complete meltdown, after what was a run of the mill charitable social event turned into something completely different.

I smile at the way the press woke up as soon as Christian and I announced we were siblings and then with all the other revelations which happened, culminating in my humiliation of Lucas they were in a frenzy by the end of the night and desperate to get their stories to their respective outlets to be the first to break the news of the night.

I am also sure I will be receiving a phone call from my mother at some point today and I am ready for her, and for any abuse she hurls at me. Chris has assured me he will stand beside me and shoulder any fallout from any quarter about last night's revelations along with me. Christopher and Ireland have also pledged their support. I am concerned about Ireland, she is still in school and the last thing she needs is the press hounding her there. Christopher will be back at his desk at Vidal records today, now that he understands why I did what I did regarding that company we have a greater understanding and he works with me now and as a result the running of Vidal records has improved dramatically and things are much smoother and profits have actually increased in the short time since our reconciliation. He understands now that I wasn't taking from him, the bottom line was I did what I did for him and Ireland, not to get my hands on his inheritance.

I hear my angel rousing and I wrap my arm around her carefully, she opens her eyes and looks up at me.

"Good morning beautiful" I say to her and I plant a kiss on her nose.

She smiles at me, rubbing her eyes, and she yawns.

"Good morning to you too" she replies.

I know not to expect too much from her as soon as she wakes up first thing in a morning, my angel doesn't function properly until she has had a mug of coffee, even if it is only decaf at the moment. But I need to tell her about my dream, hopefully if this is correct I will soon be able to spend the entire night with my wife without worry or fear of hurting her.

"I had a dream last night" I say to her.

I watch as her face drops and she reaches for me, I hold up my hand to stop her.

"No, you misunderstand – it was different, it was good... positive" I add quickly.

"Oh?" she asks, she sits up and pushing my hand away she pulls me towards her, she is clearly interested and invested in what I am going to say.

I grip her tightly to my chest as I begin to speak, "I don't remember all of it, but the jist was, I was in the room with Hugh and he came at me to... anyway as he grabbed me, the door flew open and everyone came in and dragged him off me," I say.

"Everyone?" Eva asks.

I nod, "You were there, Christian, Ana, Chris, Christopher and Ireland... my family you all came to save me, to stop him, you all overpowered him and dragged him away" I say.

Eva pulls away and looking up into my face she beams at me, the love and joy in her eyes makes my heart lurch and I swallow hard.

"That's good Gideon, that is real progress, you are accepting the fact you have people around you who love you and who only want the best for you and who believe you, you need to build on this and after last night I think you are well on your way to finally breaking free from it," she says earnestly.

I nod, "I feel different, I felt different last night, when Christian got his closure he told me how he felt and how he had what he called this inner peace I think that is how I am feeling now," I say.

"That is brilliant Gideon, I am so pleased for you" she says, as she leans towards me and kisses me softly.

"Thank you Angel" I whisper.

"No, thank you for sharing it with me" she says, "you are learning that talking and sharing is the way to go, rather than keeping everything locked up inside".

I kiss her once more and go to prepare a mug of coffee for her.

When I return she is busy on her phone. "Who are you calling Angel?" I ask.

She looks up at me, before her attention focuses on the mug in my hand and she immediately reaches for it.

"I was just talking to Ana, she was just texting me to let me know that she and Christian are leaving for the airport, their flight slot is at 8:30 so she was just saying goodbye".

I nod and glance at my watch it is nearly 7:30. I hear my own phone ringing and go in search of it.

When I pick it up I see it is Christian and my guess is he too has called to say goodbye.

"Good morning" I say as I answer.

"Good morning, have you seen any news yet?" Christian asks.

"No, I woke about 6:30 and I have been lazy, just lying in bed with my wife since then. Eva has just woken up and now at this moment I am talking to you, rather than being with my wife," I say.

I hear Christian chuckle and I know he understands the meaning behind my comment. I like to start my mornings making love to my wife.

"Well I'm so sorry to disturb your routine bro" he says sarcastically, "but when you have finished getting your rocks off I suggest you take a look at the news, every single news channel is buzzing with what happened last night. The internet has gone wild with it, and you are pretty much trending on every social networking site there is. I just thought I'd give you a heads up on that so you are aware, also when we left our apartment there were numerous reporters and pap's lying in wait, my guess is you will have twice as many by the time you leave for work, so good luck with that".

My heart sinks at his words but it was to be expected, I just hope that they don't harass Ireland, Christopher or Chris.

I let out a heavy sigh, "Thanks for the warning, I'll get Raul on it" I say.

"No problem" Christian replies.

"Christian what is the tone of the reports. What angle are they going for?" I ask warily.

He sighs, which makes my heart sink a little as I automatically think from that it is going to be negative.

"It's pretty much a feeding frenzy, there is quite a bit of general interest in our connection as brothers, and the fact Geoffrey Cross wasn't your dad and obviously all the crap about what Geoffrey Cross did has been raked over again, but the main topic is what happened with Lucas. Let's just say he is public enemy number one, and I doubt he will recover from last night, my guess is he is finished as a paediatrician" he says.

"Good" I say coldly, "It's no more than he deserves, what about Anne?" I ask.

"She has been portrayed as the innocent victim, clueless as to what her husband and brother did, and you're coming out of that part of it looking pretty good too. There is the odd negative comment about your behaviour towards her, but generally speaking you are being portrayed as the damaged and wronged child, seeking revenge and just lashing out, I think the fact she was a consenting participant in what you both got up to is working in your favour, as the fact she is Hugh's sister, not to mention the fact she very publicly forgave you last night. They are all having a bearing on what the media are saying as they are seeing your actions as revenge on Lucas and Hugh and the line they are taking is you wouldn't have done what you did if Lucas had told the truth and she has forgiven you for it and so all the blame is pretty much being laid at his door". Christian says.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I don't care what the media think of me, but Anne didn't deserve to be vilified and I'm glad that she isn't". I say.

Christian and I talk for a few moments longer and then he tells me he has to go, we arrange for him to return to New York in a few weeks time so that we can discuss the details of the New York safe house and he tells me that by then he hopes to have somewhere scoped out for the Seattle branch.

We say our goodbyes and I kill the call. Before I return to Eva, I call Raul and ask him to make sure that Ireland is adequately protected when she goes to school today, he assures me everything is in hand and gives me a run down of protocol in place for my family today.

Satisfied everything is in hand I return to Eva, one look at her and I am painfully hard. I crawl up the bed and lie beside her, my hand moving instinctively towards her breast. She moans as I touch her and her hand moves to me and she slides it inside my pyjama bottoms and she grips me, I gasp as she runs her hand up and down me.

"Get on your knees Angel" I say to her hoarsely and she obediently lets me go and turns, struggling to her knees. I lift up the t shirt she wearing and the first thing I see is she isn't wearing any underwear, I run my hand between her legs.

"No underwear" I say.

"No, I want you now" she demands, grinding into my touch.

I dispose of my pyjama bottoms and position myself behind her and gently push her thighs apart with my knee. I am like stone, I am so hard it hurts and I am desperate to be inside her, but I know I need to have some control and I need to make sure she is ready for me. I slide my hand once more between her legs and I slip my fingers inside her, she is soaking and I moan with want.

"Oh you are ready for me, what have you been thinking about?" I tease.

"Just you inside me" she replies as she grinds into my touch.

"Good answer" I say as I remove my fingers from her and I grasp myself and gently ease into her, I hear her sigh as I fill her, and I pause.

"Are you alright, does that feel ok?" I ask anxiously.

"Oh god yes" she moans and I feel her tightening around me pulling me further in, I start to move gently and carefully, I grip her hips and I move she meets my every thrust.

"Harder Gideon, please," she begs.

I smile and pick up the pace a little, I close my eyes the feelings I am getting are exquisite, I allow my hands to move and I touch her stomach I feel our daughter moving as I am thrusting, and I feel oddly alarmed by it and I immediately slow my pace.

"Gideon what is it?" Eva asks immediately.

"Nothing, I don't want to hurt you" I repeat.

I don't tell her that I am freaking out a little, feeling our daughter moving about while I have my dick inside her.

Eva says nothing but I know she is building toward an orgasm, so I continue with this pace and rhythm and sure enough a few moments later I feel her start to tighten and quiver around me, I push on, my hands now reaching once more for her breast and then I move down and touch where we are joined, and that is suddenly the most erotic thing in the world.

"Angel, give me your hand," I say urgently, I need to share this with her.

I feel her steady herself and as she brings one hand down, I grasp it and I put it where mine has just been so she can feel us.

"Do you feel that Angel? That is where we become one" I say.

I hear a small gasp and she touches the base of my dick as I thrust into her. I move my hand to her clit and start to gently rub it and almost immediately that pushes her over the edge and she cries out my name as she tightens like a vice around me, I keep thrusting through her orgasm, racing after my own release, and after a few more thrusts I come profusely inside her. I throw my head back and let out almost a roar as I come, and I stop moving. I hold on to her, gripping her hips as I continue to release my seed deep inside her.

After we have showered and made love again two more times in the shower, we get ready for work and head downstairs.

Angus is waiting in the lobby and he has a grim expression on his face.

"There are a number of paps waiting outside… a large number of paps," he tells us.

I shrug, I can handle it, but then I look at Eva, as I don't want her harassed by them.

"Are you ok with going out the front way?" I ask her.

She nods firmly. "We have done nothing wrong," she says.

I grip my wife's hand and we head for the car. We ignore the melee of flash bulbs and constant shouts coming from the sea of paps and reporters who are being held back by my members of my security team and we climb into the waiting Bentley. There are more waiting outside the Crossfire and once again we run the gauntlet. Once we are in the safety of the Crossfire I pull Eva close and we make our way to the elevator.

"Good morning Scott" I say as I breeze in towards my office, Scott immediately stands and follows me into my office.

"Good morning sir, PR has called. The prepared statement has been released as requested and all questions coming in are being referred to it and no further comment is being made. We have had a call from GEH PR, and they are reporting similar levels of media interest in Seattle, especially with the announcement last night of the relationship between you and Mr Grey. They sent us a copy of their prepared statement and it mirrors ours and they are taking the same stance referring all questions and comments to the statement and making no further comment". Scott pauses and glances at his notes.

"Mr Vidal senior called and said he would be dropping by later to see you, and he requested I open a window of about 15 minutes for him. I have managed to fit him in at 11.15 for 15 minutes, if that is agreeable with you sir?" he looks at me for confirmation and I nod.

"I have had two calls this morning from Mrs Vidal asking to speak to you and I advised her that you weren't in the office and that I would inform you of her calls as soon as you arrived".

My heart sinks at this even though I was expecting it, seconds later I see one of my PR team running into my office and Scott looks around in surprise at the interruption.

"Mr Cross we have a situation in main reception. Meg has just called up, Mrs Vidal arrived unannounced and she saw Mrs Cross in reception and she accosted her, it's not pretty down there and I think you need to come down sir" he says.

I am already half way out the door before he had finished speaking, and as I approach main reception I hear raised voices.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT".

I smile as I hear Eva shouting at my mother.

"YOU BROUGHT IT ALL ON YOURSELF, IF YOU HAD BEEN ANY SORT OF MOTHER GIDEON WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED TO DO WHAT HE DID, NOW GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME BEFORE I DO SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET!"

I take in the scene in front of me as I walk into the reception, my mother has Eva backed up against the wall and she is gesticulating and pointing at Eva. I have never seen my mother lose her self control like this, she is normally so reserved and more worried about appearances and what other people think.

"What the hell is going on here?" I snap as I stride towards my wife.

Both women turn and stare at me. I reach out and grab Eva's hand pulling her to me.

"Are you ok Angel?" I ask as I look her up and down, her face is flushed and she is breathing heavily, but she nods.

"I'm fine" she says.

I don't think she is, she is clinging to me as if she is unsteady so I immediately lead her over to a chair and urge her to sit down, whilst looking across at Meg on reception, and who is totally frozen to the spot.

"Meg" I call, and I point to the water butt. She immediately pulls herself together and runs to fetch a glass of water.

"Yes sir" she says, but I am no longer watching her as my attention is now solely focussed on my wife.

"Thank you" she says as she accepts the water from Meg.

My mother is standing staring and I turn to her, my anger rising.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demand.

"I came to see you as I have called twice already," she says defiantly.

"And I have only just fucking arrived, I was being told you had called, when I got the message you were here," I say.

This takes her back slightly.

"Well, you always used to be in the office much earlier than 9am" she says.

I snort derisively, "That was before I had a life worth living" I snap.

I return my attention back to Eva and crouch beside her.

"Are you feeling better Angel?" I ask her gently.

She nods at me, but I am worried about her flushed face. This confrontation must have elevated her blood pressure.

"Can you stand?" I ask.

She nods but wobbles as she gets up and reaches for me. That is enough for me, so tell her to sit down again and I reach into my pocket and call Angus.

"Angus bring the car round, I need to get Mrs Cross to the hospital" I say.

I hang up and call Scott. "Scott I need you to clear my schedule, I am taking my wife to the hospital, I'll advise you when I am ready to return to the office".

I hang up and then I turn my attention and my fury on to my mother, which makes her take a startled step back.

"I swear to god, if your little performance here today has harmed my wife or daughter in any way, you will be sorry," I snarl at her.

Then without another word, I turn towards Eva and reach for her, coaxing her gently to her feet and into my arms. I glance coldly at my mother once more as I walk past her with my arm firmly around Eva. I lead my wife out the office and towards the elevator, ignoring my mother calling after me.

**oooOOOooo**

After an examination, it is established that Eva's blood pressure is dangerously high, and she is advised to rest for today. They want to keep her in under observation, but my stubborn wife refuses point blank to stay in hospital but promises to return to the penthouse and spend the day in bed resting.

An appointment is made for the next day and I take her home.

"I'm sorry, but she got me so angry" Eva says quietly, as we are riding back to the penthouse.

"What did she say?" I ask.

Eva snuggles close to me and rests her head on my chest.

"She had just been let in when I arrived in reception to collect my mail, she saw me and she just went ballistic. She accused me of filling your head with lies, of re-writing your past and of turning you against her, I told her she had done a good enough job of that all by herself and she said that I had embarrassed her last night by making you bring up all that stuff about Joel being your dad, she said it made her look bad, so I said if the cap fits, which didn't go down well. Erm... she got in my face telling me that you would be better off without me and that you were much happier when you were with Corrine".

She stops speaking, and I can tell by the tone of her voice that has upset her more than she is letting on, and I realise that comment is probably what elevated her blood pressure more than anything else. My mother played on Eva's very real insecurity regarding Corrine. I am furious but at this moment it is Eva who needs me.

I pull her closer to me, "Eva, Corrine means nothing to me, you know that don't you?" I say.

She nods but doesn't say anything, "Eva, look at me" I say.

She lifts her head and looks up at me, I grip her chin and look into her eyes.

"Angel it's only you, it will always be only you, there will never be anyone else for me, ever" I say.

I press a gentle sweet kiss to her lips and I see tears welling up in her eyes, and it shreds me to see them.

"Angel, please don't cry" I say.

"I love you so much, the thought I could lose you... it makes me a little crazy," she says.

"It is never going to happen, you own me" I try my hardest to reassure her, I am going to make my mother pay for doing this.

"I do make you happy don't I, you would tell me if you weren't...?" she begins but I put my finger on her lips and interrupt her.

"Stop talking" I say firmly, "You need to stop thinking like this now, I am happier than I have ever been in my life and that is only because I am with you," I say firmly.

We arrive at the Penthouse and I lead her inside and help her undress and get into bed, I sit with her for a while as I don't want to leave her alone and she sees my dilemma and touches my arm.

"Gideon go to work, I'll be fine. I'm going to take a nap and I promise I will stay here and rest today, if I need you I will call you straight away" she says.

I nod at her and go to leave. As I leave the bedroom I call Raul and ask him to keep a discreet eye on Eva today. Then I call Scott and tell him I am on my way back to work. He informs me my mother has left the building but Chris is waiting for me, I ask him to tell him to wait for me to get back.

I arrive back at the Crossfire and stride back to my office. I see Chris waiting and he has someone sitting with him who stands as soon as he sees me approach.

"John what a pleasant surprise, what are you doing in New York?" I ask as I walk forward my hand outstretched.

John Flynn smiles, "I flew in this morning on Christian's jet, Christian arranged it. He told me what you were planning to do last night and I have heard the media version today, Christian asked me a few days ago to fly out to be on hand in case I was needed and I spoke to him this morning as we passed on the tarmac".

My step father stands and puts his hand on my arm "How are you Gideon after last night I mean?" he asks.

I think, "with regard to everything that went down last night, I feel good, I mean I feel really good. I feel have my closure. It needed to be done and I have done it, and I feel better for it, but it's just this thing with my mother now" I say.

I watch as John beams at this information.

"How is Eva?" Chris asks his face full of concern, "Scott told me you were at the hospital" he adds.

I shake my head, "My mother came in this morning she accused Eva of all sorts and got her blood pressure so it was through the roof. She is at home at the moment, she is on bed rest today now" I say.

Chris shakes his head, "Your mother called me first thing this morning, I suppose it was as soon as she saw the news reports about last night," he says.

I nod, "it was, and apparently everything is Eva's fault. She told her that she is filling my head with lies, she accused her of re-writing my past and of turning me against her, she told her she wasn't happy because – get this, apparently Eva _made me_ bring up all that stuff last night about Joel being my dad and that had embarrassed her, she said it made her look bad" I shake my head.

Chris shakes his head, "She has lost the plot completely but if it's any consolation, I think it's because she knows in a few days she will be homeless. She has until the end of this week to move out of Vidal Manor, as far as I can tell she is calling my bluff on that one as she doesn't think I will do it, but I have a court order in place to physically remove her if necessary if she hasn't gone by Friday," he says.

"It's no more than she deserves" I say.

We head into my office and John quickly establishes that I am in a good place regarding the events of the previous night, but I can tell he is concerned about this development with my mother. I tell him and Chris about my dream, and both men take that as a positive development, and John explained that he believed it was me accepting the love and support of my family.

I nod, "Eva said much the same thing this morning" I pause and look at John, "I think the fact that this was first dream of this kind where Hugh never actually managed to follow through and violate me is also pretty significant".

John nods, "Undoubtedly, you are now getting the family support you should've always had and it is helping you to deal with what happened to you, this can only be a positive thing" he says.

John looks at Chris who nods in agreement and then he stands and offers his hand to me, "I am in New York until tomorrow. Christian insisted I fly back on his jet, which he is sending for me first thing tomorrow morning. So I am going to take the day and do a little sightseeing, but if you need me at any point don't hesitate, you call me, alright?" he says.

"Thank you John, I am really feeling positive about last night, I should have done it years ago, now I feel as though I have broken free from the hold Lucas and Hugh had on me".

John smiles, "You have done very well Gideon, you have made massive progress but as I say if you need to talk anything over anything about last night or regarding your mother, I am around all day" he says.

I make a few calls and before John leaves I have arranged for him to have a VIP tour of the city and all its main landmarks. He is touched by the gesture and he leaves to meet his tour guide. Chris is still here in my office and I realise he needs to speak to me about something.

"Ok right then what did you want to talk about?" I ask when we are alone.

"Your mother" he says.

My heart sinks, "Go on" I say in resignation.

"What I wanted to talk about has pretty much come to pass now anyway, with her actions this morning, but since we – Christopher, Ireland and I have cut her off she has become... unstable, it is the only way to describe it and so I just wanted to warn you, also I have been reliably informed that she was seen talking with Corrine, and I'm sure that is a whole situation you will want to avoid".

I nod, "it is, my mother used Corrine this morning to get Eva in a tailspin, she told her I was happier when I was with Corrine which for the record, just isn't true but it played on all Eva's insecurities and now she thinks I am going leave her for Corrine".

John shakes his head in disgust at my mother's actions. "Gideon, Eva loves you and I'm sure deep down she knows you love her too but look at her, she is pregnant which messes with a woman's mind, the hormones involved make a woman react to situations, she's very vulnerable at the moment and she is only a couple of months away from giving birth, which in itself is a scary prospect for any woman. She feels big, clumsy and unattractive so she naturally sees Corrine as a threat, a bigger one in your case because you were engaged to her previously, so those doubts your mother planted in her head need to removed now, and the only person who can do that is you Gideon" Chris says.

I look at him helplessly, "Tell me how?" I ask.

"Nip it in the bud, not today because Eva needs to rest and bring down her blood pressure, but you need to confront your mother one last time and Eva needs to witness it, also could Corrine be a threat to you both?" he asks.

I think about that for a moment, "She has been in the background since she returned from France when her marriage broke up. She has done a couple of things, she was the one who posted bail for that piece of shit Barker after he accosted Eva and Ana at the club, I assumed he spun her a story and she decided to help him, and then when Eva and I got engaged and it was announced, she tried numerous times to contact me but I ignored her calls and she even accosted Ana once here at the Crossfire, I was ignoring Corrine's calls and refusing to see her so she got hold of Ana in the lobby and demanded to know why I was seeing her when I wasn't making time for her".

I smile as I remember what Ana told me of that confrontation, "But Ana put her right in her place and apart from a few calls which I have ignored, mainly when Eva and I married in Vegas, she hasn't really been on the radar," I say.

Chris listens and thinks carefully, "Your mother still talks with Corrine so if she is filling her head with lies, she may think she stands a chance at getting you back, so you need to put a stop to this. I will help you and between us I'm sure we can come up with something" he says.

"Thank you" I reply gratefully.


	74. Chapter 74

CHAPTER 74

_Earlier…_

**(EVA)**

I am overjoyed at what Gideon told me this morning, it really seems last night has been the catalyst for real change and when he told me about the dream he had, I have real hope that soon we can sleep together and spend the entire night together safely.

We have just arrived at the Crossfire and I am in my office, my assistant hasn't arrived yet but she called me flustered and apologetic to say her train had been delayed and she would be a little late. So after assuring her not to worry about it and that I would cope until she arrives, I decide to head down to reception to fetch my mail.

"Mornin' Meg," I call cheerfully as I reach reception and head to the pigeon holes.

"Good morning Mrs Cross" she replies.

I see her turn her attention to the door to let someone in and I go cold as I see who it is, frozen to the spot I watch as Elizabeth Vidal ignores Meg completely and stalks towards me.

"YOU" she shrieks at me, pointing a bony finger at me and glaring at me.

Meg looks startled and immediately picks up the phone and calls someone.

"What?" I say, turning to face her full on, and folding my arms defiantly. I stand my ground and stare defiantly at her.

"It's all your fault; I have lost my home and my family because of you. You and your lies, filling my sons head with rubbish, and re-writing his past," she screams.

I stare at her not quite believing what I am hearing and I wonder if I really did hear that right. She is clearly deluded and I let out a derisive laugh.

"You need to get a grip on reality lady, and start believing what really happened in Gideon's life, which you have been too damn selfish to acknowledge, and just so we are very clear on this anything that has happened to you is your own damned fault" I say.

I am trying to stay calm, but my anger is rising and my heart is pounding.

"You turned my son against me!" she yells.

I shake my head, "No I didn't, you managed that all by yourself with your actions, you two were estranged long before I came into Gideon's life" I say.

Elizabeth comes closer still, she is red in the face, and she really has lost it completely. I back up until I am against the wall with nowhere to go and she is gesticulating wildly. I glance at Meg who is on the phone, begging someone to come down to reception.

"MY SON HAS CHANGED SINCE HE MET YOU, HE WAS MUCH HAPPIER WHEN HE WAS WITH CORRINE, HE WAS BETTER OFF WITH HER, YOU ARE BAD FOR HIM" she screams into my face.

This statement hits me in the gut like a punch. I try to come back with something but I just can't. What if she is right? What if I am bad for him? Sensing she now has the upper hand she continues with her rant.

"AND YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD LAST NIGHT, MAKING GIDEON ANNOUNCE THE FACT GEOFFREY WASN'T HIS FATHER" she cries.

I let out another humourless laugh, "Well if the cap fits!" I say sarcastically.

I know this won't help but I am still smarting from her Corrine comment and I have lost all semblance of civility. I know that there is no way she is going be reasoned with, as she continues to rant.

"AND MAKING HIM HUMILIATE DR LUCAS, YOU ARE EVIL WHAT KIND OF HOLD DO YOU HAVE ON MY SON?" She screams at me, and she actually pokes me, that does it I just snap, and bawl back at her.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT" I yell "YOU BROUGHT IT ALL ON YOURSELF, IF YOU HAD BEEN ANY SORT OF MOTHER GIDEON WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED TO DO WHAT HE DID, NOW GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME BEFORE I DO SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET!"

"What the hell is going on here?" I turn to see Gideon striding towards me, he takes my hand and pulls me to his side, my head is pounding and my heart is racing and I feel dizzy so I cling to him.

"Are you ok Angel?" he asks me anxiously, I nod at him.

"I'm fine" I say quietly.

I don't think he believes me as he is looking carefully at me. I try and smile but he leads me over to a chair and helps me to sit down, and he is hovering over me as he gets Meg to fetch me some water, which I accept gratefully.

"Thank you" I say to her as she hands it to me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gideon demands as he returns his attention to his mother, who is now just standing watching, and thankfully silent.

"I came to see you, I have called twice already," she says defiantly.

"I have only just fucking arrived. I was being told you had called when I got the message you were here" he snaps at her.

I watch her reaction to that and she openly gapes, this has clearly surprised her.

"Well you always used to be in the office much earlier than 9am" she retorts.

"That was before I had a life worth living" he says coldly, and with that he returns his attention back to me.

He crouches down beside me and places his hand on my stomach.

"Are you feeling better Angel?" he asks me gently.

I nod once more and smile trying to reassure him, but I can tell he is still worried. To be honest I am a little concerned too, my head is still pounding and I feel really warm and really dizzy and also little sick.

"Can you stand?" he asks me.

I nod but as I try to dizziness consumes me and I grab his arm. I watch as he pushes me back down on to the seat and reaches into his pocket for his phone and calls Angus.

I hear him making arrangements to take me to the hospital and I don't argue with him, as I really do feel quite ill. I think the fact I'm not protesting and arguing with him that I am fine is probably worrying him even more as it confirms something is really amiss.

We are soon heading to the hospital for the second time within twenty four hours and I am quickly seen and examined.

"Mrs Cross your blood pressure is dangerously high, we would like to keep you in under observation on bed rest to try and get it down again" the doctor says.

I shake my head adamantly, "No way, I will go home and rest in bed at home, I don't want to stay in hospital" I say.

"Angel, please be sensible about this," Gideon protests.

I look up at him and see the fear in his eyes and it kills me to see it there, damn Elizabeth fucking Vidal for getting me in this state.

I shake my head, and turn to the doctor, "Will a day of bed rest at home do the same as bed rest here?" I ask and the doctor nods.

"Fine, then I would sooner be at home, as I will be more relaxed there than here" I say.

The doctor agrees with this and reluctantly so does my husband, and an appointment for us is made for tomorrow morning for me to have my blood pressure checked again.

I apologise to Gideon on the way back to the penthouse, I am curled up into his side and he has his arm around me. He asks me what his mother said and I recall the altercation from earlier.

"She had just been let in when I arrived in reception to collect my mail she saw me and she just went ballistic. She accused me of filling your head with lies, of re-writing your past and of turning you against her. I told her she had done a good enough job of that all by herself, and she said that I had embarrassed her last night by making you bring up all that stuff about Joel being your dad, she said it made her look bad so I said if the cap fits, which didn't go down well and she got in my face telling me that you would be better off without me and that you were much happier when you were with Corrine" The words stick in my throat as I say them, and I feel Gideon tighten his grip on me.

We spend the remainder of the journey with him trying to convince me that he loves me and has never been happier since he met me. I start to cry which just upsets him even more and I can't help but wonder if he really is happy with me.

When I am settled in bed, and have persuaded Gideon to return to work, I receive a call on my phone I glance at the screen and see it is Raul.

"Hello Raul" I say brightly.

"Mrs Cross, I am just checking in with you, I am around today so if you need anything at all just call me alright?" he says.

I smile, I am guessing Gideon called him and told him to baby sit me.

"Thank you Raul that is very kind of you, I am about to take a nap though" I say.

"Very good Mrs Cross" he replies and we say goodbye and I kill the call. I don't take a nap though, I lay in bed the words from earlier circulating around my mind. I try to stop thinking but I just can't.

Questions keep invading my mind. What if Gideon is better off without me? I mean my past is as fucked up as his is. We have had some spectacular arguments, we both had a pretty unhealthy approach to our relationship when we first got together and although it has improved significantly of late, but when we first met we drained each other.

I was always running and he always had to run after me. Then I got pregnant, it wasn't planned and not even on the agenda. What if he thinks deep down that I trapped him? Does he really want to be a father?

My hand strokes my bump and I feel my daughter kick. I pushed Gideon hard to confront his past, I told myself I was doing it to make things better for him, did I push too hard? All the doubts and worries keep on tormenting me until I can't stand it anymore. I climb out of bed and put on the TV. Climbing back in under the covers, I idly channel surf until I find something which takes my attention, and my mind off the questions and negativity whirling around my head and before I know it I'm drifting off to sleep.

_I am walking along a beach, I am enjoying the sun and I am watching my daughter playing in the sand, she looks up at me and smiles. She is the image of Gideon, beautiful blue eyes and inky black hair; there is nothing of me in her apart from her height. She is petite, not tall and lean. _

_She looks past me and points. I turn and I see my beloved husband walking towards us, then he stops someone shouts to him and he looks I follow his gaze and I see her. Corrine, what is she doing here? He turns and walks towards her, our daughter stands and runs towards her father but he ignores her calls and carries on walking towards Corrine. When he reaches her he kisses her and turns his back on me and our daughter and walks away with her._

_"GIDEON" I scream._

_"DADDY" our daughter calls._

_He doesn't look back, he just carries on walking. I start to run towards him but my feet just sink into the sand, it pulls me down and I stumble and fall and it sucks me downwards. _

_As I struggle to get up my daughter comes to me._

"_Stay back baby girl" I say but my daughter comes closer and she too is sucked into the sand, I grab her and try earnestly to release her from the hold of the sand sucking her down._

_"Daddy is gone now" she says, then she moves out of my grasp and I see her standing there looking down at me as the sand continues to pull me lower. I am crying and calling out to her but she just stands there and slowly her features alter and I realise I am looking at Elizabeth and she is watching me struggle._

_"He is where he belongs, he is happy with her. She is good for him; life with her is calm and ordered just how he likes it. You tried to change him and you tried to re-write his past but now he is where he belongs" she says, taunting me and I scream as the sand sucks me down and consumes me._

"NO" I sit up suddenly and I look around.

I am covered in sweat and tears are rolling down my cheeks, I realise that I am in my bed in the penthouse. I reach for my phone and press the speed dial. I am trying to call Gideon, but in my confusion I realise I have called Angus.

"Mrs Cross" he says.

I try to pull myself together, but before I can stop a sob breaks out of my mouth.

"Mrs Cross, are you alright?" Angus asks gently.

"No" I sob.

"Give me two minutes and I'll be right with you lass," he says kindly.

"No, honestly its fine" I say, "I… I just had a bad dream that's all, I tried to call Gideon but I pressed the wrong number and now I feel really stupid and I really don't want to be a bother, and I'm sorry I disturbed you and..." I stop talking as I realise that I sound like a crazy woman.

"Mrs Cross, I am at the Penthouse now and I am coming up alright?" Angus says.

"Ok" I say.

I quickly pull on a pair of sweat pants and tank top and walk into the other room, the front door opens and Angus is there he smiles kindly at me as he pushes his key back into his pocket. I realise I must look a complete mess, but he walks over to me and gestures to the sofa. I sit down and he disappears into the kitchen, a few moments later he returns with two mugs with steam rising from them.

He hands me a mug and sits down beside me, I look in the mug and stare at the creamy white liquid.

"What is this?" I ask, sniffing it suspiciously.

"It's called Horlicks lass, it's a malted milk drink and it relaxes you and calms you down. It's very nice; I used to drink it back when I was a wee lad at home, in Scotland. It was a popular drink to have at bedtime, to relax you and send you off to sleep," he says.

"I didn't know we had this" I say.

Angus smiles, "No lass, from what I have seen you don't look any further than the coffee pot!" he teases.

I nod, that is true and I am not the best cook in the world so in the relatively short time I have been here, there are cupboards in the kitchen I haven't even looked in yet.

"I introduced Gideon to it when he was a wee lad, when he had his nightmares and he was in a state, he would sneak out of the big house and come down to my cottage and I would give him a mug of Horlicks and settle him down so I guessed he would have a jar knocking around here somewhere, as he always manages to get some for me," Angus explains.

I take a hesitant sip. It is certainly different, it is a thicker creamier consistency than coffee, it is milky and malty, I am guessing there is sugar in here as well as it is quite sweet.

"I like mine with a little sugar, so I added some to yours as well," Angus confirms.

"Thank you, it's nice" I say.

"You are welcome, now why don't you tell me what's got you so upset?" he asks gently.

I sigh and I tell him of my dream, and I go on to tell him what Elizabeth said to me this morning. I sit and I spill my guts telling him all my insecurities and the questions which have been circulating around my head since.

Angus doesn't say a word, he just sits and listens to me, quietly drinking his Horlicks and lets me spew up all my insecurities and when I have finally finished he leans forward and puts his mug down and clasps his hands in front of him.

He stares at me for a moment and then speaks.

"Listen to me lass, you have to believe me when I tell you, that you are the best thing that ever, EVER happened to that lad, and I should know. I have known him near enough all his life, he didn't love Corrine. Did you know she was the one who proposed to him?"

I gasp in shock at that and shake my head, but Angus just nods and continues to speak.

"No lass, he didn't ask her. He had no idea how romantic relationships worked, he didn't even dare spend the entire night with Corrine as he didn't want her to find out about his night terrors. He didn't love her, he enjoyed spending time with her but he refused to allow her to get close to him. He refused to let anyone get close to him - until he met you. As soon as he agreed to marry her he was like a deer caught in the headlights and he was so relieved when she broke it off, but you – he let you in and he let you in totally, you have seen him warts and all. No other woman has ever seen him have his night terrors, because he never let them get close enough. He adores you, you are his reason for living, when you discovered you were pregnant he was overjoyed, but do you know what he said to me?" he stops and looks at me.

I shake my head as I listen to him, "He came and he told me you had found out you were pregnant, and that was why you had flown out to Seattle to see him. I didn't tell that I already knew, I'd overheard you talking to your friend you see. I didn't take that moment from him as I could see the pride in his eyes, for the first time in his life he believed he could have a normal life. You gave him hope that he could have things which he always believed were just for other people. I will never forget what he said to me, he said, I'm going to be a father Angus… me?! Can you believe that? I am going to be someone's dad. I'm going to marry Eva and I swear I will try my hardest to be the best husband and father there is, but I don't know how. Eva has given me so much she has given me her love and trust and now she is giving me a child, but I don't deserve any of it. What the hell am I going to do when I fuck this up?"

He stops and stares at me, I am floored with what he just said, Gideon feels the same way as I do, he believes he isn't good enough for me, that I could do better than him.

"Does any of that sound familiar Eva?" he asks.

"He… he has never said any of this" I say.

Angus shakes his head, "No lass, he hasn't" he looks at me carefully I will ask you the same thing I asked him when he said that to me. What have you done for him to change his life for the better? Now take your time lass and think carefully" he says and takes another sip of his drink.

I stop and think, "I ..." I stop and shake my head at a loss to know what I have done for him.

Angus nods, "Ok, now you tell me what Gideon has done for you?" he says.

I let out a little snort that one is easy to answer, "Oh that's easy, he has done so much. I love him with all my heart, he makes me feel beautiful and he erases Nathan's touch. He has made me feel despite my past that I have a chance of a future and despite all the mistakes I made and how badly I behaved in the past he will always have my back and be right by my side," I say.

Angus laughs and shakes his head, "You know lass that was quite unnerving as you have practically just said word for word what Gideon said about you. Except he said you had erased Hugh's abuse; and do you want to know something else? He couldn't think of anything good to say about himself and what he had done for you either. I will tell you what I told him, you two are true soul mates, love like yours is incredibly rare and you don't see it very often, it's the real deal. In fact I have only ever seen one other couple who come close, and that is Christian and Ana. You two are each one half of each other's soul, so there is no way Gideon will ever look at another woman now he has you but you both need to see your own self worth. Yes you both have been through horrific experiences which nobody should ever experience, but you both survived and you found each other and you both have a beautiful future ahead of you. You are going to be parents in a couple of months, you have no financial concerns, you have family around you who love you and would do anything for you, so focus on that and don't allow the ugliness to consume the good things".

Angus stops and takes another sip of his drink as I think about what he has said.

I look at him, "You talk an awful lot of sense" I say.

He smiles at me, "I do my best Mrs Cross" he says.

"Thank you Angus, I feel much better now, would you mind taking me to Gideon?" I ask.

I am surprised when he shakes his head, "No lass, you are on bed rest today. You need to bring down that blood pressure, as it's not good for you or the baby".

He pauses and smiles as he sees my disappointed look.

"I'll tell you what I'll do lass, I'll bring the mountain to Mohammad!" he says winking at me and placing his mug on the table he stands. I wonder what he means then it dawns on me, he is going to fetch Gideon and bring him here.

I shake my head and try and stop him, "No don't, If he is busy don't disturb him" I say.

Angus smiles, "Nothing is more important to Gideon than you" he says, and with that he takes the mugs into the kitchen and leaves.

About 40 minutes later the door opens and my husband strides in. He walks up to me and pulls me into his arms.

"Are you alright Angel?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, "I am now, Angus talked some sense into me" I say.

We sit down and I explain. I tell him about my dream, I tell him about talking with Angus and everything that was said and he doesn't say a word, he just sits and listens.

"I had no idea you felt that way" I say to him eventually.

Gideon smiles at me, "it seems like we both need to work on our self esteem" he says.

I touch his cheek, "you are perfect, I love you" I say.

I watch him swallow and he pulls me close, "Angel, I am far from perfect but thank you, and I love you too with all my heart" he says.

He lifts up my chin and looks at me, "And you _are_ perfect! There is no other woman on this earth who comes close" he adds.


	75. Chapter 75

CHAPTER 75

The next morning I feel like there has been a kind of seismic shift between us. Gideon didn't return to work, he called Scott and cleared his schedule and stayed at home with me and we talked, we talked like we had never talked before and as we talked we realised we used sex to try and resolve our issues, whereas what we needed to do was just communicate with each other.

We both spewed out all our insecurities out and talked them through. We listened to each others fears and addressed them, reassuring each other that we were what the other wanted and needed. The result was now we are closer and stronger than we have ever been, I had always believed in therapy with a third party but what Gideon and I have done; I believe, has made us totally solid. We now stand together as one and nobody is going to drive a wedge between us.

Gideon told me about John being in New York and I smile, that was so thoughtful of Christian to do that for him and so typical and he told me of his conversation with Chris about his mother.

"Do you think she will cause a fuss on Friday when she has to leave Vidal Manor?" I had asked him.

"Undoubtedly" he had replied without hesitation.

"Well, bring it on!" I had said defiantly, Gideon had just stared at me and laughed.

I come back to the here and now and look at my husband as he wraps his arms around me.

"Are you ready to go to the hospital?" he asks.

I nod, "I am, let's go" I say.

We are relived to be told my blood pressure is now normal and that no harm came to the baby, but I have been warned not to allow it to get that high again.

When we arrive at the Crossfire Gideon pulls me towards him.

"Angel, when are you going to give it up?" he asks.

I look at him in confusion. "Give what up?" I ask as wonder what he is referring to.

"Finish work until after the baby is born, it's not as if we need the money," he clarifies.

I realise that episode yesterday has bothered him but it was an anomaly and it has been established that the baby is fine. Plus, I still feel able to carry on for a while, but I don't want Gideon to worry unnecessarily about us, so I shrug. "I like my work, but I suppose I could consider winding down a little" I say.

Gideon nods, "You are completely brilliant at what you do, you have astounded me and not many people manage to do that and you have picked up the new stuff that I have mentored you in with regard to being Vice CEO so quickly, so don't think I am letting you go completely. But you need to think about taking it more slowly the closer you get to your due date" he says and he places his hand on my bump to emphasise his words.

"Ok, I will" I say and this seems to satisfy him for now.

I head to my office and sit down and make a start on the work load for the day. A while later I am so engrossed in my work I don't notice my door opening until I hear a small cough. I look up and see Gideon leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Nothing, I thought I'd take my wife for lunch" he says.

I look at my watch and gasp, I can't believe it is nearly 12:30, I had no idea. I quickly finish what I am doing and save it, then grabbing my jacket and purse I walk towards the door.

We are sitting at a small restaurant in Bryant Park, the weather is getting warmer, it's a little too warm for me and being the size I am it is slightly uncomfortable. I am shocked as to where the year is going as it's the beginning of June next week.

As we are talking and eating, I perceive a figure out of the corner of my eye walking towards us, I glance around and nearly choke when I lay eyes on Corrine and realise she is heading straight for us. What the fuck does she want?

She saunters up and smiles sweetly at Gideon.

"How lovely to see you Gideon" she simpers.

It doesn't escape my notice that she totally ignores my presence at the table to begin with. Gideon just glares coldly at her and doesn't answer, which makes her smile falter slightly and she shuffles awkwardly from one foot to the other. Then realising he's not going to speak to her, she finally decides to acknowledge me.

"Hello Eva how are you? Not long now," she says nodding towards my bump I instinctively put my hand on it to protect it.

"What do you want Corrine?" Gideon snaps, "I am trying to have a quiet pleasant lunch with my wife," he adds rudely.

Corrine looks a little taken aback by his attitude, but I have to lower my head to hide my amused grin.

"Your mother called me Gideon, she was so upset so I promised her I would talk to you," she says.

I can't help it; I look up in surprise at that. I am certain there is a 'what the fuck?' look on my face at this moment, as all I can think is, has this woman got no shame, or is she just completely nuts?

Gideon just continues to stares at her coldly, after another uncomfortable silence he eventually speaks again in his most clipped and icy tone.

"You and I have nothing to talk about and my relationship with my mother is none of your concern," he says.

I look at him, I know from that tone of voice he is livid, he is so angry at this moment but controlling it very well, but that's the thing with Gideon he doesn't need to shout and scream, but his whole demeanour is screaming controlled fury and Corrine would do well to acknowledge this fact and be careful as to what she says and does next.

"But..." she persists and steps closer.

Gideon holds his hand up to stop her speaking and I am shocked, not at Gideon but at Corrine for persisting. What the hell is she playing at; can't she see he is furious? I can tell by his mannerisms, the way he is speaking, in fact his whole demeanour is screaming incandescent rage but Corrine just appears to be totally oblivious and then right there that is when it dawns on me, she is completely oblivious. Angus was right she really doesn't know him at all. Whereas I can read him like a book, from his body language and how he says things I know immediately when he happy, sad, angry and hurting.

This gives me a real boost and I watch the proceedings with interest now that I have this nugget of information.

I watch my husband and I can see he is getting even more wound up.

"But nothing, my mother is a deluded self absorbed bitch, who wished she had aborted me, did she tell you that part? Why are you getting involved as it has absolutely nothing to do with you? You are nothing to me; you are my past Corrine so why would you think you have any influence on me? I never loved you. You asked me to marry you remember, I didn't ask you and I never would I was overjoyed with relief when you broke off the engagement and married Giroux. You should never have come back, you should have stayed in France and tried to make your marriage work, Giroux loved you but I never did".

He stops and Corrine looks shattered and I am actually quite shocked at the harshness of his words, but I know why he did it, he wanted to leave her with no ambiguity or any shred of hope that she could latch on to, to think there was even the remotest chance of a reconciliation.

"But Gideon, we had some good times" she persists.

Ok… so maybe even that wasn't enough! I am actually wondering if she is either deluded or just stupid at this point.

My attention is drawn back to Gideon as his control finally snaps and he slams down his fork making both me and Corrine both jump violently. Gideon gaze focuses on me and softens considerably as he immediately reaches for me.

"I'm sorry Angel, I didn't mean to startle you," he says gently.

Turning back to Corrine, his eyes return to cold hard flint as he glares at her.

"Stop talking, I am not discussing this. What we did is in the past and that is where it belongs, you mean nothing to me now, you broke up with me and believe me it was the best decision you ever made. I was looking for a way out from the moment I agreed to marry you and you gave it to me. I realised what a huge mistake I had made as soon as the word yes passed my lips, so go away and leave me alone. Leave my wife alone and I warn you _do not_ start meddling with my relationship with my mother, as it is none of your god damn fucking business," he says.

Gideon returns his attention to his food, I look up at Corrine and see her lip quivering, and she looks mortified by what he said, I'm not sure whether it was what he said or the fact he cursed at her, but she still doesn't seem to be getting the message, as she hesitates for a moment.

"But I love you Gideon" she whines.

I roll my eyes; she is starting to piss me off now. For fucks sake woman, give it up! I glance at Gideon once more and see that he doesn't even look at her as he answers.

"I don't love you and I never have. You don't love me, not really you don't even know me, you never saw the real me, you only saw what I wanted you to see. Eva knows everything and has seen everything. I love Eva. Eva is my wife and the mother of my child. I am going to say this once so listen carefully. There is only Eva; there will only ever be Eva. I love her and I do not love you. You are nothing to me. You are clearly nothing more than a deluded ex who needs to move on".

I watch as the words sink in and Corrine's face hardens, "Elizabeth was right, she has brain washed you" she says.

Gideon slams down his fork again and suddenly rises to his feet. Corrine looks suddenly afraid and she takes a step back.

"Be very careful what you say about my wife Corrine. You are on thin ice, you need to leave now, if you do not get the message and get it quickly I will be forced to press charges for harassment and serve you with a restraining order, now leave". he says coldly.

Corrine looks defiantly at him, "Goodbye Gideon I hope you don't regret what you have said, I could be so upset… I could do something silly" she says.

I stare at her in disgust, not quite believing what I am hearing. Is she really threatening to hurt herself? My anger is rising now and I am itching to jump in and give her a piece of my mind, but this isn't my fight, Gideon needs to do this himself. If I get involved it will only make things worse, so I grip my fork tightly while my other hand balls into a fist.

Gideon leans towards her, getting in her personal space and intimidating her as he looks at her coldly. His eyes are like shards of ice and I think even Corrine has finally noticed his demeanour as she has the grace to look uncomfortable.

"I will not be emotionally blackmailed Corrine, that is really low. However, if you want to do something to yourself go ahead but remember this. If you decide to harm yourself in any way that is your decision and your decision alone, you will not put that on me and I won't allow you to. I refuse to feel guilty for your decisions, so do what you want to do Corrine, because I have no interest in you or your life. You are responsible for your own actions not me, now I won't say it again, go away and leave me alone" he hisses through gritted teeth.

He sits down again and picks up his fork once more, Corrine hovers for a moment longer and I see Gideon grip his fork but he pointedly ignores her and focuses on his food. She still stands there and so I finally decide to step in.

"Are you still here?" I ask facetiously, and give her what I hope is a 'fuck off' look.

It seems that the penny appears to finally drop and she turns and walks sadly away. I reach across the table and grip Gideon's hand tightly.

"I'm sorry about that Angel" he says tightly as he runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault" I reply, I look at him closely he is still tightly reigned in and I know this has really upset him, "Are you ok?" I ask after a moment.

Gideon looks at me and smiles and I see him visibly relax, "I'm with you, so of course I'm ok" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two days later..._

We are getting ready for work when the phone rings, Gideon answers it he listens and his face hardens.

"So we need to evict her then?" he says.

He rubs his eyes, "Right fine, give me half an hour... yes she is, I don't think that's a good idea Chris... well if you think so... yes I remember... well I dealt with Corrine and that went well... I don't want to put Eva at any risk... ok bye then, yes bye Chris".

Gideon hangs up and looks at me carefully.

"My mother is refusing to leave Vidal Manor, so Chris is going to have invoke the court order he has, he needs me to help him evict her. I am taking Raul and Angus with me, Christopher is going to be there and Chris thinks you should be there too".

He stops and I can tell he doesn't think this is a good idea.

"Ok" I say carefully.

"I don't want you to get upset or for you to get into the state you were in on Tuesday" he explains.

I shake my head, "it won't happen, we have talked and all my insecurities which caused that meltdown have been addressed, we are solid now Gideon and we need to show her this. We need to show her she can't come between us with her vileness and if I am there with you it will demonstrate that united front between us and between you and your family. I can see what Chris is saying, we all need to be there so it sends her the clear message that she can't manipulate any of us," I say.

Gideon thinks this over "Alright, but please Angel don't get yourself worked up, I really don't want to have to take you to the hospital again," he almost begs.

I wrap my arms around him getting as close as I can to him, "I promise, nothing is more important than our daughter," I say.

We arrive at Vidal Manor where Chris and Christopher are waiting for us and also to our great surprise, Ireland is there. Chris has a grim expression on his face as we approach him but he smiles and kisses my cheek in greeting.

"What are you doing here Ireland?" Gideon asks.

"I am part of this family aren't I?" she says firmly.

"You should be at school" Gideon says sharply.

Ireland shrugs "Free period and so I will be going there when this has been sorted out, but there is no way you are keeping me out of this after what she said to me before and crap she has put you through" she retorts.

Gideon glares at her and Ireland just fearlessly glares right back as though she is daring him to say something else. He is gripping my hand tightly and saying nothing but then after a moment's stand-off, a smile plays on his lips and just nods. Then he turns his attention to Chris, while Ireland just gives me a triumphant smirk.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Gideon asks Chris.

Chris shrugs, "I have absolutely no idea" he says.

"Well it's your house, so why don't you just go in?" I say simply.

Chris looks at me and grins, "I can't think of a better plan" he says.

We all walk up to the front door, Chris opens it and we all walk inside. I look around, there doesn't appear to be anyone here.

Raul and Angus are with us and they are both on alert, then suddenly a door opens and Elizabeth appears.

She stops dead as she sees us all, glancing at each of us in turn. Her eyes linger on me and travel down to my stomach, Gideon notices and wraps a protective arm around me.

"What's going on?" she asks defensively.

Chris steps forward, waving a piece of paper.

"You know what is going on Elizabeth, if you don't leave today I will be forced to call the police and have you evicted. I have a court order for you to be out of this property by today, and you are still here, so we," he gestures to each of us "are here to persuade you to leave calmly and in a dignified manner, and not make it necessary for me to call in the authorities to forcibly remove you".

He stops speaking and waits for her response to this and it comes quickly.

I see Elizabeth's lip quiver slightly at this, "I have nowhere to go" she murmurs.

Chris shakes his head, "That is not my problem, you have had ample time and opportunity to fix yourself up with alternate accommodation" he says.

Ireland steps forward, "Why are you being like this mom, you are making us all hate you?" she says.

Elizabeth straightens and glares at Ireland, "I am not the one in the wrong here, if it wasn't for her none of this would be happening" she spits pointing at me.

"You know that is ridiculous Elizabeth" Chris says.

Elizabeth turns and glares at him, "Ridiculous? I can't believe you are taking her side. Don't you remember that day back in January? I remember that day, when she marched into this house along with that other woman. She came in here raking up the past and stirring up things which should have been left well alone and she only did it to cause trouble and she succeeded" she rants and then stops and glares at me.

I can't help myself and I step forward, and I feel Gideon reach for me and grip my arm, "Angel" he says warningly.

I turn and smile at him reassuringly; "I'm fine honestly" I say and return my attention to Elizabeth.

"Is that what you _really_ think? That I did it to cause trouble, if that is what you think Elizabeth, then you are a worse mother than I took you for," I spit and Elizabeth opens her mouth to retort but I hold up my hand and quickly carry on to stop her.

"Shall we look at the facts here? Right then let's see, going right back to the beginning. You couldn't keep your legs shut and you fucked your first husband's brother, and the innocent result of that adultery and betrayal was Gideon, so what do you do? You lied to your son and your husband, and when Gideon recently found out this information and you eventually admitted the truth, all you were concerned about was how this would affect you and how Gideon had found out. Not how your son was feeling receiving this life changing news. The news that he had been lied to his entire life". I pause and take another deep breath.

"Anyway, when your husband died your young son, who was not only traumatised by being the one who found the body of his dead father then grieved for a man who he believed was his father but who actually wasn't. He had nightmares, he was traumatised because he found his father's dead body, and did you comfort him and help him? No you fucking didn't, you dismissed him and told him to he was bad person and an attention seeker. Then you failed Gideon completely by believing a paedophiles lying brother in law after your son told you he had been raped. You didn't even tell his step father what happened and just completely disregarded your son and the unspeakable things that had happened to him. You carried on oblivious to the pain and anguish Gideon was dealing with and the severe damage which that entire period of his life had caused him. That's before we even talk about the fact that he has been dealing with all that trauma alone since then because he felt alienated from his family. That was until he met me, and he shared his secrets with me because I love him and I help him and most importantly of all to him, I believe him and like any other normal decent human being, I think that he should get his closure on something which wasn't his fault. So I along with Ana Grey who was the very first person in his adult life that Gideon confided in decided to help him, to try and release himself from the torment he is in. So we did our utmost to help him get that and we went and got the evidence that the doctor had lied to you, and we presented it to you and Chris and although it's news to him because he was completely in the dark, Chris like any normal reasonable human being immediately believes it, like I did and like Ana did, like Ireland did and like Christian did. But what do you do? You fucking screwed with him a bit more. You came to our home and gave a half arsed apology, giving your son false hope that you actually do give a damn about him but then we get the icing on the cake. When you lost your shit when Gideon discovered you had lied to him about who his father was and when you told your other son that you wished you had aborted Gideon".

Elizabeth's eyes widen and her head whips to Christopher in shock.

"Don't even try to deny it" I spit.

"So there we go your stellar life to date so having said all that can you explain to me how any of that is my fault because from where I am standing every last bit of it is all down to you and your outstandingly spectacular failure as a decent mother and decent human being".

I stop speaking and stare at Elizabeth, who is standing there with her mouth opening and shutting.

"Angel" Gideon says again, pulling me close and looking at me anxiously.

I look up at my husband and smile, "I'm fine baby honestly, I'm calm" I say reassuring him.

Gideon steps forward, he appears to have been emboldened and encouraged by my words.

"You never loved me, I realise that now and there were instances when dad... Geoffrey was alive, the things you said to me and the way you treated me. I was never wanted, I was your dirty secret and now I have exposed your dirty secret to the world and you don't like it because the world can see that Elizabeth Cross-Vidal isn't the woman she made herself out to be. Until I met Eva I believed I wasn't worth loving, because of what you did and said to me over the years. Eva has given me a sense of self worth. My wife loves me, and I know she will fight for me and I know she will always have my back. She has given me a life worth living and now she is giving me a child and the chance to be a father. For the first time in my life I have a family, not only the family I am building with Eva but I have a father who loves me. Yes he is my step father, but he has done more for me in these past months than the man who I assumed was my father ever did, and infinitely more than the man who was my actual father".

I will him on, as I watch him in his verbal tirade. He is gaining more and more confidence, he believes what he is saying and my heart swells to see it. He finally believes that he is worth loving.

"I now have two brothers and a sister who love me and I now have other extended family. Christian's family love me, his biological aunt and his adoptive mother have shown me more love and affection in the short time I have known them than you have ever shown me my entire life. I have a sister in law, who loves me. She was 'that woman' who accompanied my wife to get the truth from Lucas – and she did it because she cared, then there is Christian's adoptive father he has also accepted me into his family. Christian's siblings, Elliot and Mia have taken me to their hearts and they have accepted me as their brother just because I am Christian's brother. I am loved, and for the first time in my life I feel worthy of that love; and as for you? Well... you didn't want me, well guess what mom? I don't want you either".

Everyone is staring at Gideon in shocked silence at that outburst and I swallow hard, the pride I am feeling at this moment makes my heart swell fit to burst.

Christopher steps forward and embraces his brother, Ireland walks over and grasps Gideon's hand and Chris moves and embraces all three of his children. Gideon reaches out and pulls me into the strange group hug and when Chris lets go he reaches for me and squeezes my shoulder. Elizabeth watches this and it's as if realisation has finally dawned on her and she slowly turns and enters a room, and when she returns she is carrying two large suitcases and a smaller one and she silently walks out of the house.

We stare in shock, as we watch her leave.

"So she was going to go all along?" Christopher says.

Chris shakes his head in disgust, "She wanted a final showdown but I think she got more than she bargained for. My guess is she wasn't expecting all of us to turn up the way we did. She thought I would be alone and she could have a rant before she went and I don't think she was expecting any of that," he says.

Christopher shakes his head sadly, "I can't believe I was so blinded by her for years, she just wanted to call the shots all the time and manipulate situations to her advantage" he says sadly.

Ireland looks gutted and I wrap my arm around her as she nods in agreement with what Christopher said.

"I know, she wanted to control the situation, but when we all turned up showing a united front against her she realised she was beaten. I wonder what she thinks now? I can't believe she behaved like that towards you Gideon" she says quietly.

She steps forward out of my hold and hugs him tightly and we can tell she is more than a little bit emotional.

I look at Christopher and Ireland and I feel sad for them as they are only now seeing their mother how Gideon has seen her all these years. Gideon looks around the room.

"Hey, come on it's over now, and it's in the past and we stop dwelling on the past from now on, we look forward. We look to the future as a family" he says with a smile.

Christopher nods, "Yeah damn straight couldn't have put it better myself bro" he says and holds his hand up to Gideon to high five him.

Gideon laughs and smacks his brother's hand playfully.

Chris opens his arms and all three of his children move immediately towards him. He looks at me, "Come on Eva you too, you are part of this family" he says.

When we have finished with the group hug, Chris looks around.

"I'll get the paperwork to get this place signed over to you" he says looking at Gideon.

"Are you totally sure about this Chris?" he asks.

Chris nods earnestly, "Gideon, we have been through this already, I can't live here knowing what happened to you here, so do with it what you will and turn it into a place where children feel safe and protected".

Ireland smiles, "I think it's a brilliant idea" she says.

Christopher nods, "Yeah so do I".

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later in Seattle..._

**(ANA)**

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Christian, happy birthday to you!"

I look around the room, as the chorus of happy birthday rings out for my husband. He sits at the head of the table with a huge chocolate cake, which I spent this afternoon baking, in front of him and a wide grin on his face.

I glance at the open lap top and smile. Gideon and Eva are with us via Skype and I could hear them singing along, their voices coming through the lap top speakers. I take a moment to look around the table. Grace, Carrick, Elliot, Kate and Mia are all here and Christian's Aunt Denise is also here, she flew in from Detroit especially, as she said she was determined not to miss another of her nephews' birthdays.

Christian looks up and our eyes meet, and the love that radiates from him takes my breath. He reaches for my hand and I don't hesitate to respond and slip it into his.

"Thank you everyone for being here today, to help me celebrate my birthday" he says and he looks at the laptop, "Sorry you two couldn't be here in person bro, but next year I want you _all_ here – all three of you!" he says adamantly.

"You're on!" is the immediate disembodied reply.

Gideon may not be here in person, but he has spent more time with Christian today than anyone else. He called him this morning and he has called him periodically throughout the day just to chat and then insisted that he be involved when everyone else arrived and the Skype link was set up.

He was so apologetic that he couldn't be here in person, but he understandably didn't want to leave Eva and there is no way she could fly now as she is due in just over three weeks time. Gideon is more than a little jumpy about this; especially after the scare they had a couple of weeks ago, with Eva's blood pressure. I can't believe how awful Gideon's mom was, she made Carla look like a reasonable human being!

But the good thing that came out of all that was Gideon and Eva sat down and talked like they had never talked before and as a result they are much closer now. From what Eva has told me and what Christian said after talking to Gideon, there were a number of other things that went on including evicting Gideon's mother from Vidal Manor and there was some sort of altercation with Corrine, Gideon's ex fiancée. But everything has been sorted out now and apart from being like a cat on a hot tin roof every time Eva moves, Gideon is looking forward to the birth and meeting his daughter.

Christian is flying out to New York in a few days to see the progress on the safe house project. Work has already started in Detroit to convert the apartment block and Christian wants to share the progress with Gideon and bring him up to date with everything that has been done. He is taking Denise with him to New York so she can also update him, as she has been there on the ground. Christian has also found a site for the Seattle safe house. It is a lovely house just outside Seattle and he is currently getting all the legalities sorted out.

I watch as Christian blows out the candles on the cake and as he does so a cheer goes up, then I hear Gideon teasing Christian.

"Do you need to rest now bro, all those candles must have taken it out of you? You must have needed some breath to blow them all out and is the cake ok or did the fire brigade come thinking there was a house fire?" he says.

Everyone laughs, and Christian raises his eyebrows but he can't look stern for long as a reluctant grin quickly spreads across his face.

"Hey smart ass, remember you are only three months younger than me, so cut it out" Christian retorts.

I hear another evil chuckle coming from the laptop, "Three months is three months bro, and you were the one who pointed that out when you pulled the big bro card not so long ago. So I'm just letting you know it also has its disadvantages!" Gideon says smugly.

Christian looks at the lap top and grins, "Oh but it has far more advantages and just remember you also have a younger brother. I am coming to New York in a few days and so I may have to have a little word in his ear!" he says.

"Children stop it" I call out, and I hear Eva laugh loudly at my comment.

I quickly recall what Gideon has just said that there is only three months between them, it's June, three months is September and I am shocked as that means it's only three months till mine and Gideon's birthday. It is so close, and yet it doesn't seem five minutes since we were last celebrating when we discovered Gideon and I shared the same birthday and he proposed to Eva.

"Ana, are you there?" Gideon calls.

"Yes" I reply, and I heave myself out of the seat and make my way around the table so I can speak to Gideon face to face.

"Hi Ana!" he says, when he sees me. "So, what are we doing when it's our birthday this year? The reason I ask is because I have had a few ideas as to how we can celebrate in style this year, after all it will be kind of hard to outdo last year" he says as he gives Eva a scorching look.

"Oh ok, do tell" I say.

Gideon grins "Well, will you have given birth by then?" he asks.

I laugh and nod, "I hope so!" I say sarcastically, which produces a round of laughter from everyone.

Gideon leans forward, "Ok then, well my thoughts were birthday bash of the year at yours and a wedding thrown in for good measure, what do you say?" he asks.

We realise immediately what he wants, he is referring to the postponed vow renewal on the beach for all our family to witness, I look at Christian who is nodding emphatically.

"Absolutely! Bring it on bro!" he replies without any hesitation.

**oooOOOooo**

_A few days later..._

I am standing at Sea Tac, Christian has his arms around me and he is looking at me carefully.

"Please Ana, be careful while I am gone, don't do anything stupid that could put you or the baby at risk" he says.

I nod meekly, "Honestly Christian I am going to be fine, you are in New York for two days. I will call you, text you and Skype you, you'll be sick of me!" I say.

Christian grins at me, "Ok baby, Sawyer has his orders anything remotely stupid, and he will call me and I will be pissed" he says.

I just grin at him and roll my eyes, which produces a small growl from and he pulls me closer.

"And that is not to be taken as a challenge," he adds noting the expression on my face.

"I will be good, and I will be fine" I say, "Now take care of Denise in New York" I add.

Christian nods, "I will, and I'd better go and join her or I will miss my take off slot" he says.

He kisses me soundly and then lets me go and turns towards the plane. I watch him slowly climb the steps and he stops and turns at the top and waves and blows me a kiss before disappearing inside.


	76. Chapter 76

CHAPTER 76

**(CHRISTIAN)**

Angus is waiting for us at the airport and I shake his hand warmly as we all get off the plane.

"Good afternoon Mr Grey, Mr Cross sends his apologies, but a meeting over ran" he says.

"No problem" I reply, I turn and pull my aunt forward, "Angus let me introduce my Aunt, Denise Jenkinson," I say and then I turn to Denise, "Aunt Denise this is Angus, Gideon's right hand man".

"I'm pleased to meet you Angus" Denise says with a small smile.

Angus drives me, Denise and Taylor to my apartment. Denise gasps as she sees the building.

When we get up to the penthouse, I show Denise to the spare room and I go to my bedroom. I look at the bed and I feel a pang of homesickness. I wish Ana had been able to come too but I don't want her flying now, as she only has two months to go and I am getting jittery. I just don't want anything to go wrong.

I quickly call Ana and let her know I have arrived safely and after a brief chat, I go in search of Denise. I find her on the balcony, staring out over the city.

"Impressive city isn't it?" I say.

"Very" she replies and she looks back inside the penthouse, "as is this apartment" she adds.

I smile at her, "If you think this is nice, wait till you see Gideon's place. He has a penthouse round the corner on Fifth Avenue," I say.

I walk up close and whisper in her ear, "Don't tell him I said that though" I say with a grin.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out to see a message from Gideon

_**Damn meeting overran, so on my way now to Vidal Manor, meet you there. I forgot the paperwork. Can you collect it from the Penthouse? Eva & Christopher will be there, thanks G**_

I quickly send a reply to him - _**No problem**_.

A few minutes later we walk round the corner to Gideon's penthouse and head up. When the elevator doors open I am greeted by Christopher who looks completely panic stricken.

He glances at Denise, "Hi" he says to her as he grabs my arm, "Christian thank god you are here, we have a situation" he says pulling me into the apartment.

"What's wrong?" I ask, wondering what on earth has got him into the state he is currently in.

"It's Eva, she is in the bathroom and her waters have broken," he says.

"Well have you called Gideon?" I ask the panic rising rapidly in me.

"I just called him, he was on his way to the safe house , but now he is on his way back, but I don't have a fucking clue what to do!" he says.

I stare at him, "and you think I do?!" I say incredulously.

Christopher looks at me in confusion, "Your wife is pregnant isn't she, haven't you done those classes and shit?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Well we are screwed then," he says his hands flying in the air.

Denise looks at us and shakes her head, "Honestly listen to the two of you" she says and then she turns to Christopher, "Show me where she is, Christian you come with me because she knows you," she says.

Christopher leads us to the bathroom and I hear noises coming from inside. I knock on the door.

"Eva! Eva, it's Christian, can you open the door. I have my aunt here with me and we need to get in to help you," I say.

"The door is unlocked Christian, is Christopher still here?" she asks.

"Yes he is and he has called Gideon and told him and he is on his way home. We are coming in now ok" I say.

I open the door and Eva is in clear distress on the floor in a pool of liquid. Denise pushes past me and knees down beside Eva.

"Come on my darling lets get you up off this floor and get you cleaned up" she says kindly. She turns to me, "Christian help me here will you".

I step forward and between us we heave Eva to her feet.

"Where is your bedroom Eva?" Denise asks, Eva nods towards the bedroom.

Denise turns to Christopher who has now joined us, "gather up as many clean towels you can find," Christopher nods and sets to work emptying cupboards of towels, while Denise and I help Eva towards the bedroom.

Denise settles Eva on the bed and takes her pulse. I watch in awe she is as cool as a cucumber while I am in very real danger of completely losing it. All I can think of is I fucking hope Gideon gets here soon, but I know I will have to hold it together as I know Gideon would expect me to take care of Eva in his absence.

"Eva, my name is Denise and I am Christian's aunt, I am also a qualified nurse so you have nothing to worry about, we need to establish how often your contractions are coming alright?"

Eva nods, "they were coming about five minutes apart, but now it almost seems constant and I feel like I need to push," she says.

Denise nods, "Well your pulse is fine, I am going to go and wash my hands and I am going to have a little look at you to see how dilated you are and long we have got alright?"

Eva nods again, and as Christopher appears with an armful of towels, Denise issues rapid instructions telling us to lay out the towels on the bed so Eva can lie on them. We do as we are told as Denise goes to wash her hands.

When she returns she tells Christopher to find out where Gideon is and how long he is going to be, and she tells me to help Eva on to the towels, then she covers her with another towel and gently examines her, as she does so her eyes widen and she turns to Eva and grabs her hand.

"Eva honey, the baby is in the birth canal. I can feel your baby's head, and we don't have time to get to the hospital, so we are going to have to deliver you here alright?"

Eva shakes her head "No, I can't, Gideon - he isn't here, I need to go to the hospital". I quickly wrap my arm around Eva and try and offer her some sort of comfort as I try my best to keep her calm. My own anxiety has now ratcheted up a notch at this news though and I just hope that Gideon soon arrives.

"Eva, listen to me, we don't have any choice in the matter. The baby is coming. Christian is going to call a paramedic and hopefully Gideon will get here before the baby is born, and hopefully a paramedic will arrive deliver the baby and be able to take you and your baby to hospital afterwards, but I will deliver the baby if they don't arrive in time, alright?"

Eva nods and Denise talks to her and helps her get her breathing under control. I quickly call for a paramedic and inform the desk downstairs to send them straight up and then I call Taylor to make sure he is on hand to let them into the apartment and tell them where to go. Satisfied I have done everything I can, I then return to Eva and take her hand.

"It's alright Eva the paramedics are on their way, just hang on" I say.

I look at Eva she is in obvious pain and I realise Ana will be going through exactly the same thing soon.

"I want Gideon," Eva gasps.

"He's on his way too" I say, "You need to concentrate on you though and getting this baby out" I add.

Christopher comes in looking relieved, "Gideon just called, he is two minutes away," he announces.

Denise smiles, "In which case he should be here in time to see his baby born, now Christopher come here please and take my place".

Christopher walks over and sits on Eva's other side and takes her hand.

Denise is at the bottom of the bed and she is giving Eva instructions on pushing, Eva does exactly as she is told.

"Alright Eva you are doing so well, this is soon going to be over as I can see your baby's head so I need you to give me a big push as soon as you feel another contraction".

Just as Denise says this, the door bursts open and Gideon appears and I have never been so pleased to see my brother as I am at this moment, I see a similar look of relief appear on Christopher's face.

"What's happening, Eva are you alright?" Gideon demands.

Christopher immediately makes way for Gideon to sit beside Eva,

"Denise and I arrived, and Christopher met us saying Eva's waters had broken, Denise is a trained nurse and she examined Eva and we discovered that the labour was more advanced than anticipated. I have called the paramedics but so far no-one has arrived and it appears your daughter is about to be born" I say more calmly than I am feeling at this moment.

I let go of Eva's hand, "We'll be just outside bro" I say as I am now eager to get out of here and Gideon nods at me.

"Thank you both" he says gratefully.

"You two are going nowhere, you are needed here now!" Denise says urgently. The tone of her voice sends a wave of anxiety through me and it's like someone has just poured cold water all over me.

We both turn and I see Gideon bristle.

"What's happening?" he asks, clearly in a panic.

Denise looks up directly at Gideon, "The baby is stuck, it's a condition called Shoulder Dystocia, we need get the baby out, now" Denise says and for the first time I hear a note of concern in her voice.

"Tell me what to do" I say immediately, I will do whatever I can to help, I can't let Gideon go through what I went through when Ana lost our baby.

Christopher steps closer on the other side of the bed and waits looking expectantly at Denise. I roll my sleeves up and wait, my heart is pounding and I glance at Gideon, he makes eye contact with me and I can see he is terrified.

"It'll be alright" I reassure him hoping to god I'm not lying and nothing bad happens.

Denise is issuing instructions to us "Christopher I need you at Eva's left leg, Christian you get at Eva's right leg and when Eva pushes I need you to both push Eva's legs as hard as you can up towards her shoulder and hopefully that should give us a little more space in the birth canal and free the baby's trapped shoulder, and Eva I need you to push and push hard".

Eva nods, and we do as she asks and we move into position.

"Ok Gideon, you need to hold Eva's hand and give her all your support as this _will _hurt her. Come on Eva, I need you to push like you've never pushed before".

Gideon grips Eva's hand, "Come on Angel you can do this, come on push our daughter out," he says. We can all hear the blind panic in his voice that he trying desperately to hide. Denise looks at Gideon and smiles at him.

Eva pushes hard and lets out a piercing scream, Gideon is in tears and clearly upset by Eva's distress, Christopher looks at me and we push Eva's legs up to her shoulder, I am terrified we are going to dislocate her hips at this rate, but Denise tell us to continue and she tells Eva to push again.

"That's good you are doing so well Eva. Christopher, Christian are you ready now, come on another big push" she says.

We continue like this for what seems like an eternity but in reality must only be a few seconds and then suddenly Denise lets out a loud exclamation.

"That's it! Well done Eva the baby is free, the words are hardly out of her mouth and the door opens and a paramedic appears. I look down to see Gideon and Eva's daughter slide free from Eva's body.

"That's it Eva you did it, well done" Denise says.

She turns to Christopher who is visibly shaking and then to me. I glance down and I see my hands are trembling quite significantly as well.

"Well done you two, you were magnificent" she says kindly.

Gideon and Christopher both look down and see the squirming crying baby on the towel and huge smiles of relief appear on their faces. Gideon dashes away his tears and he kisses Eva repeatedly on the forehead.

Denise turns to the paramedic. "Nice of you to join us" she says sarcastically.

She wraps the baby in a towel and looks hard at the paramedic, "Right, are you getting this, baby girl born at 3:37pm. Shoulder Dystocia, left shoulder".

She points at the baby's shoulder and then hands her to the paramedic to be examined. She then returns her attention back to Eva, while still giving a commentary to the paramedic "slight tearing of the Perineum, no abnormal bleeding or haemorrhaging. Eva just stay still, the afterbirth is coming out now… there we go, well done Eva you have done so well. The afterbirth is complete and in good condition".

She stops speaking and looks up at Gideon who has given up wiping away his tears and is just letting them flow.

"Congratulations" Denise says kindly.

"Can I see my baby, is she alright?" Eva asks anxiously.

The paramedic comes over and hands the bundle over. "I am highly impressed, you handled that difficult birth well, there is no evidence of dislocation or soft tissue injury but when we get you both to the hospital a more thorough examination will be made".

Eva looks down at the wriggling squealing bundle in her arms and she bursts into tears. Gideon looks down at his daughter and the look on his face brings a lump to my throat.

"Well there is nothing wrong with her lungs" Christopher says as he looks affectionately at his niece.

"Congratulations bro" I say, and I pull Christopher's arm as he is just standing there gaping, he comes to with a sudden jolt of his head.

"Well done Eva, congrats to you both, she's beautiful" he says and with that, we quietly slip away and give them some privacy.

I go to the bathroom and see the mess on the floor, I stand looking at it when Denise appears with some towels, which she thrusts at me.

"Just looking at it won't clear it up Christian," she says.

As she crouches and starts mopping up the mess quickly, I look at the towel in my hand and join her clearing it up. She then leaves the room and I hear her asking Christopher where the laundry room is. I go back out into the sitting room and Christopher is sitting looking pretty shell shocked.

"Did all that really just happen?" he asks me as I walk in.

I nod, "Amazing wasn't it" I say.

"Not the words I'd use" he says.

I laugh, and pull out my phone and I call Ana. I need to share this with her.

"Hi baby, how are you?" I ask, as she answers.

"Hi Christian, I'm good how is everyone?" she asks.

"Baby, you will never believe what I have just done?" I say.

"What?" she asks.

"Eva has had the baby, we arrived and her waters had broken, and Denise, Christopher and I delivered the baby. It was fucking amazing, there was a moment where the baby got stuck – shoulder something and we had to help Eva get the baby out by pushing her legs up to her shoulder" I say as I recall the previous events. I am so relieved that Eva and the baby are alright it suddenly occurs to me that I am crying and I quickly dash away my tears.

"Oh my god! Where was Gideon?" Ana asks.

"He was on his way to Vidal Manor but Christopher phoned him and he turned round and came back, he got back in time to see the baby born" I say.

"Is Eva and the baby alright, Shoulder Dystocia can be dangerous and have lasting injuries?" Ana is clearly worried.

"Relax baby, they are both fine, the paramedic turned up just as the baby was born and checked her over, and he said he could see no injury. Eva got a bit torn up but they have been taken to the hospital now. I am so glad Denise was with me, she was as cool as anything and just took it all in her stride, she is a trained nurse you know," I say proudly as I think about everything my aunt did.

"Well as long as everyone is alright, and the baby is safe, please give Gideon and Eva my love" Ana says.

"I will baby" I say, we talk for a few moments longer and then I hang up and go in search of Christopher and find him on the phone, I listen and realise he is talking to his father.

"It was fucking scary dad, if it wasn't for Denise, I dread to think what would have happened" he says.

"Yes they have gone to the hospital now... yes... yes... Christian is still here with me, and Denise is tidying up... yes I will, ok dad, oh and when Gideon calls you, sound surprised, I don't want to steal his thunder about the baby, ok dad... yeah... see you later, bye" he kills the call and turns to me.

"Is Denise still tidying up?" he asks.

I shrug, "I don't know" I say.

Christopher stands up, "come on lets give her a hand, she should have a rest, she is a fucking legend" he says.

I smile and nod, "She is" I say proudly.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at my apartment with Denise, kicking my heels. Eventually, I decided to get some work done. I was replaying the events of the day and thinking, 'what if?' What if Denise and I hadn't been there? What if the baby had died? I shake my head and try and get the negativity away, Eva is fine and hopefully there will be no lasting damage done to the baby.

I bury myself in work. I call Ros and get updates on the on going projects back home, and log in to the office from the computer in my study. As I am working I hear the door open and I smile as I see Denise standing there with a glass of milk and some cookies.

"I thought you needed a break, so I brought you these" she says.

I stand up and gesture to the sofa for her to join me, "Don't you have a drink?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I'm fine" she says.

I sit down and take a cookie from the plate, "Those ones were always your favourite, I always made sure I had some, when I came to visit you and Ella" Denise says.

I look up at her in surprise, "How do you remember these things, I was what, 2 years old then?" I ask.

Denise smiles, "You forget, that is all the memory I have of you, I haven't watched you grow up, all I have is the first two years, when Ella moved away with... that man, I never saw her or you again, until I saw you at the cemetery," she says sadly.

Denise looks as though she is thinking back through the years, "my greatest memory though, was the day you were born" she says.

I look up in surprise, the words which Marjory Hamilton said go through my mind, she had said she was there at my birth.

"You were there?" I ask.

Denise nods, "Yes, I was there, and another lady… someone Ella knew and trusted, Marie? Marion? No, that's not right, oh I forget her name now," Denise says.

"Marjory" I say quietly.

Denise smiles, "Yes that's right, Marjory" she smiles as though she is remembering.

"Tell me about it" I ask.

Denise looks at me and smiles, "Well, I had gone to visit Ella, I had this feeling something was wrong, call it intuition. I got there and Marjory was with her, and Ella was in labour she was at much the same stage your sister in law was at today when we arrived. You were well on the way and Ella couldn't be moved. Marjory was so relieved when she saw me, she had called an ambulance but they hadn't arrived, so much like today I rolled up my sleeves washed my hands and got stuck in, thankfully there were no complications. You were coming and nothing was going to stop you, it was quick text book birth, Ella was exhausted and she admitted she'd been having pains for hours, but didn't realise she was in labour. She held you and fed you. You were greedy and latched on quickly and fed for what seemed like an eternity. Marjory held you and I cut the cord with a kitchen knife. The ambulance eventually turned up and you both were taken to hospital. You were both given a clean bill of health and Ella got out of there as quickly as possible".

I look at her questioningly at that comment, and she smiles sadly at me.

"She didn't have any health insurance Christian, she couldn't afford to stay there for too long, Marjory and I paid the fees she accrued between us," she says.

I shake my head, I remember Ray not having adequate health insurance when he had his accident, and I had paid his bills and upgraded his cover.

"It's ridiculous that in this day and age in the richest nation in the world people are going without medical care because they can't afford it". I say angrily.

We talk for a while longer and Denise shares other memories with me. Later on, I take Denise out to dinner and then I decide to head to the hospital to see Gideon, Eva and the baby. On the way, I stop off at florist and buy a huge bouquet of flowers.

When I arrive I am directed to the private rooms, and as I open the door I see Eva sleeping peacefully and Gideon sitting holding his daughter and feeding her. The look of love on his face brings a lump to my throat and I swallow hard.

"Wow, you're looking very domesticated there bro!" I tease.

Gideon looks up and smiles, he looks happy and contented, "I'll have you know I have also changed a shitty diaper!" he says proudly.

"Jeez bro" I say light heartedly.

I walk over and stare at the bundle in his arms sucking on the bottle.

"Is Eva not breast feeding?" I ask.

Gideon shakes his head, "This little monster seems to like the milk poured down her throat without having to work for it. She wouldn't latch on and Eva got quite upset about it, and after everything else she has been through today I thought enough was enough, so I stepped in and suggested she express the milk and put it in a bottle, plus that way I can help out with the feeding too".

Gideon pauses and then lifts up the baby and pats her gently until we both hear a huge belch, we both laugh at such a loud noise coming from such a tiny baby.

"Is she ok? I mean she was early and then with the complications of the birth?" I ask.

Gideon nods, "She's perfect, she is a good weight, 6 pounds 7 ounces, she has been examined and tests have been done and there was no damage done to her shoulder. The doctors said whoever delivered her knew what they were doing... is your Aunt coming to see her?" he asks.

I nod, "She is outside now, she said she'd wait and come in, in a while" I say.

Gideon shakes his head, "Fetch her in, I need to thank her for everything," he says.

I stand and open the door, Denise immediately looks up and smiles, and I beckon her in.

She looks around and smiles at Eva.

"I bet she is exhausted" she says to Gideon, "Is she alright?" she asks.

Gideon nods, "As you say, she is exhausted, she was buzzing when we first arrived, but she crashed about half an hour ago".

Gideon pauses and then looks thoughtfully at Denise, "I just want to say thank you, I will never be able to repay you for what you did today, you saved my daughter's life," he says.

Denise shakes her head, "It was nothing, you don't need to thank me," she says modestly.

"Would you like to hold her?" he asks, Denise immediately steps forward her arms outstretched.

"I thought you'd never ask" she says.

As we are talking Eva wakes up and looks around, "Oh I'm sorry how long have you been here?" she asks and she cringes as she gingerly lifts herself up.

"Not long" I reply, "and don't apologise, you get all the rest you can, my brother has everything under control!" I add.

Eva grins and looks at Gideon her eyebrows raised.

"I fed her that milk you expressed, and I changed her first shitty diaper, it was gross but I did what had to be done," he says proudly.

Eva puts her hand on his arm, "You are a brilliant father, just as I knew you would be" she says.

She looks across the room and sees the flowers, "Who are they from?" she asks.

"Me, well... me, Ana and Denise" I reply.

"They are beautiful, thank you Christian," Eva says.

"I called Ana and she sends you all her love" I say, remembering my call from earlier.

Eva nods, "I will call her later and send her some photographs" she says.

Just then the door opens and we see Christopher, Chris and Ireland. Ireland immediately goes towards the crib where Denise has laid the baby. Chris is carrying a large bouquet and Christopher shakes his brother's hand warmly.

"Right, now everyone is here we have a small announcement," Gideon says taking charge.

He picks up his daughter, "Everyone, I'd like to introduce you all to our daughter, Eva and I discussed it and there was only one possible choice for her name, so I give you Denise Christina Cross, Denise after the wonderful lady who delivered her and whose quick thinking saved her life, and Christina after her two uncles who just happened to be hanging around at our home at the time!" we all laugh at that comment, but then Gideon looks up at us. "Seriously though, all joking aside, I dread to think what would have happened if you three hadn't been there today, and I am forever in your debt for what you all did for us".

Christopher shakes his head, "I have never been so terrified, when Eva told me her waters had broken I went into a blind panic, then Christian turned up and I was so relieved, for about two seconds until he admitted he didn't have a fucking clue either. Damn if it wasn't for Denise – she was a total legend she just took charge and told us what to do and we just did as we were told".

We all laugh, we can now, looking back on it.

Gideon smiles, "When Christopher called me I was just approaching the freeway, a few more moments and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to turn around, as soon as I answered he didn't give me chance to speak, he just yelled at me to get my ass back to the city".

Gideon holds his daughter on one arm and an imaginary phone to his ear and does an impression of his brother and what he had said, "Dude, get your fucking ass back here, Eva is having the baby right now!" he says and we all laugh again.

"I got the job done, said what needed to be said" Christopher says with a shrug.

"You need to think about your potty mouths now," Chris says nodding at the sleeping baby, and I grin at the that, I have terrible language so I know that I will really need to start making an effort to watch what I am saying.

Chris walks over to Gideon and looks at the now sleeping baby in his arms. "Do you want to hold your granddaughter?" Gideon asks warily.

Chris beams at him and holds out his arms as Gideon gently manoeuvres his daughter over.

"Hello, little lady!" Chris says as he takes her and then after a moments silence as he just gazes down at her he looks up at us all with a massive smile on his face, "Wow, my granddaughter!" he says the emotion in his voice is obvious.


	77. Chapter 77

CHAPTER 77

**(GIDEON)**

Everyone has gone and I am sitting cradling my daughter, Eva has fallen asleep again. I can't stop looking at this little scrap in my arms and who is also sound asleep. I go through the events of today in my mind. When Christopher called me I was so close to the freeway, seconds later and I would have been screwed and I wouldn't have made it back in time to see my daughter born.

My mind goes back to the events of this afternoon when I arrived at the Penthouse...

_I wrench open the front door and see Taylor sitting waiting, he looks up at me and smiles._

_"It's all happening in the bedroom, I'm here waiting for the paramedics but they haven't turned up yet and as far as I know I don't think the baby has been born yet" he says._

_I nod and quickly thank him as I sprint to the bedroom and as I open the door I take in the sight, my wife in obvious pain flanked by my brothers and Denise at the business end issuing instructions._

_"Alright Eva you are doing so well, I can see your baby's head so I need you to give me a big push," she says._

_I look and I see my daughter's head coming into view and I hear myself say the stupidest question in the history of the world._

_"What's happening, Eva, are you alright?" I ask._

_I could kick myself as soon as the words leave my mouth, my brothers look up and they both look relieved and happy to see me, so much so that they didn't notice my ridiculous question and Christopher quickly moves to allow me to sit beside Eva. Christian fills me in on what has happened to this point and then they both go to leave to give us some privacy._

_"Thank you both" I say, I am grateful to them for taking care of Eva, my excitement turns to panic when I hear Denise speak._

_"You two are going nowhere, you are needed here now!" she says, there is something about the tone of her voice which panics me._

_"What's happening?" I ask immediately on alert._

_"The baby is stuck it's a condition called Shoulder Dystocia, we need to get the baby out," Denise says._

_"Tell me what to do," Christian says immediately._

_I look up at him and our eyes meet, I see the compassion on his face and he tries to reassure me, he tells me it will be alright, but at this moment I am fucking terrified, my daughter is stuck, even I who has no idea what is involved in giving birth knows that is a very bad thing, anything could happen she could... oh my god she could die, please god don't let my daughter die. I am not a spiritual man, I never have been, but at this moment I pray._

_I grip Eva's hand hard but she just grips me back twice as hard, she is in so much pain and it's killing me seeing her like this and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I look up as Denise says my name, she has been issuing instructions to Christopher and Christian but until she said my name I wasn't really paying attention._

_"Ok Gideon hold Eva's hand and give her all your support as this will hurt her, come on Eva I need you to push like you've never pushed before," she says._

_Christ more pain, pain which I caused, I made her pregnant, and now she is having to endure this, I will do what I can, what little I can do sitting here, if I could I would have the baby for her, I wish I could take this pain away from her, of course I will support her, that goes without saying. _

_"Come on Angel you can do this come on push our daughter out" I say trying to sound positive but my shaking voice gives away the fact I am panicking and beside myself with worry._

_Denise keeps asking us to keep going and doing what we are doing, please god let my baby be ok don't let her die. I glance at my brothers they have a look of grim determination on their faces and are doing exactly what Denise tells them to do, they are as invested in this as I am, they are standing beside me, fighting for my daughter, and the thought gives me comfort._

_"That's it well done Eva the baby is free", Denise suddenly exclaims and the relief washes over me at her words, just as she says this the door opens and the paramedic arrives, about fucking time, but talk about arriving after the fact._

_"That's it Eva you did it" Denise says, she turns to my brothers and thanks them "well done you two, you were magnificent" she says._

_I look down and see the squirming crying baby on the towel and I am in total awe, my breath catches as I look at her, she is crying and her angry face is all screwed up and red and she has this white gunk all over her and a little blood but she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on, and I helped to make her I can't help but smile widely but tears are also falling thick and fast I kiss Eva on the forehead. I can't say anything though I'm just too emotional. _

_Denise turns to the paramedic. "Nice of you to join us" she says sarcastically, this makes me laugh inwardly as that was pretty much what I was thinking._

_I watch as she wraps the baby in a towel and looks hard at the paramedic._

_"Right, are you getting this, baby girl born at 3:37pm, Shoulder Dystocia, left shoulder", she points at the baby's shoulder and hands the baby to the paramedic to be examined._

_The cord hasn't been cut yet, so the paramedic stands beside Denise to examine my daughters shoulder and I watch him carefully, Denise is continuing with the commentary and then returns her attention back to Eva, she tells her the afterbirth is coming away, I glance down to see this weird looking slab of raw meat slide from Eva, it looks horrific and I look at Denise but she doesn't seem in the slightest bit concerned, so I am guessing this is normal. Eventually she stops her commentary and looks up at me._

_"Congratulations" she says kindly. I just nod still unable to articulate any words._

_"Can I see my baby, is she alright?" Eva asks anxiously, it's the first time she has spoken and I can hear the worry in her voice._

_I look up again and the Paramedic moves closer and hands our daughter over, she has been examined and the paramedic seems to think she hasn't got any injuries from being trapped, as Eva accepts her, she immediately burst into tears and after a moment she looks up at me._

"_Do you want to hold your daughter?" Eva asks me and I reach and carefully take the baby from her._

_I look down at my daughter and I am filled with an overwhelming sense of love, protective unconditional love. My daughter will never experience the ugliness which her mother and I had to endure in our lives, she will always know she is loved and I will protect her with my own life until the last breath leaves my body, anyone even thinks about harming her will not live to regret it, because I will kill them with my bare hands. I feel my legs go very shaky, I am so over come at this moment so much so I am glad I am sitting down. I glance at Denise who bags up the placenta with a surgical bag handed to her by paramedic and places it beside Eva._

_I hear my brothers offer their congratulations and I look up to see them slipping away, they had my back today and I must thank them, but at this moment they are giving me time with my little family. Denise is bustling around and clearing away all the towels. I wonder briefly why the cord hasn't yet been cut and it dawns on me we don't have any sterilised equipment to do it._

_I reach out and grasp Denise's hand as she passes, "Denise, thank you for everything" I say, and she just nods and pats my arm, before disappearing out of the room. _

_I watch her go feeling very humble, in this room when my daughter was born was myself and Christian, two multi billionaires who had enough money, resources, power and influence between us to make almost anything happen... almost, for all we have it meant jack shit today, and wouldn't have saved my daughter had Denise not been here. That quiet unassuming lady from Detroit is, at this moment, the most powerful person in the world to me._

_The paramedic wants to get us all to the hospital. He seems to realise that the cord hasn't been cut yet, and the baby is still attached to the placenta and he fishes in his bag and pulls out a medical kit he selects a scalpel and hands it to me._

_"Do you want to cut the cord daddy?" he says with a grin._

_Daddy? I am, I am a daddy. That thought fills me with untold pride and after depositing our daughter back into Eva's arms I take the scalpel, the paramedic shows me where to cut, and with a slightly shaking hand I detach my daughter from the placenta. The Paramedic clamps the cord and takes away the bag with the placenta and asks us if we want to go to the hospital in the ambulance waiting outside._

_I nod, and moments later a gurney has appeared to transport Eva and the baby, she isn't impressed with this, I can tell by the look on her face, but I look at her imploring her not to make a fuss. As we leave the bedroom I hear Denise talking to Christian, it sounds like they are in the bathroom._

_"Just looking at it won't clear it up Christian" I hear her say and I grin, I can't imagine anyone else speaking to him like that, except perhaps Ana._

_Eva has heard her as well and she giggles and then she pulls on my arm. _

_"Gideon" she says._

_I immediately bend down to her, "What is it?" I ask._

_"I want to name our daughter after Denise, if it wasn't for her quick thinking I dread to think what would have happened to this little one," she says._

_I nod, "I am more than happy with that" I say, I think for a moment, "My brothers were also a huge help today but we can't exactly call a little girl Christopher or Christian" I say. _

_Eva looks up at me "Well… what about Christine or Christina?" she asks simply, "that would cover them both," she says._

_"You are brilliant Angel" I say as I lean down and kiss her. "I like Christina better than Christine," I add and Eva nods and just like that we have named our daughter._

_When we arrive at the hospital we are moved to a private room and a paediatrician appears to examine our daughter, Eva grips my hand tightly._

_"Go with her and don't let her out of your sight, please Gideon" I try and protest but she holds up her hand. "I'll be fine, please promise me you'll stay with Denise" she asks._

_I nod and as the paediatrician moves away, I follow him. I watch as the tests are done and he explains to me what he is doing. Denise isn't happy about what is going on and she is screaming loudly._

_"Has she been fed yet?" the paediatrician asks._

_I shake my head, and he quickly finishes off before handing her over to me._

_"I think this little lady is probably hungry not to mention pissed at me for messing around with her" he says._

_I take her back to Eva and hand her over, "do you want to try and feed her?" I ask._

_I watch as Eva tries to persuade Denise to latch on, I watch as time and again our daughter turns her head at the last moment and it's almost as she is refusing. I can see Eva getting more and more upset and frustrated as she tries her first on breast then the other._

_"What's wrong with me, I can't feed my own daughter?" she asks eventually, the tears are streaming down her cheeks._

_I go to fetch a nurse to help but with no luck, I can see Eva getting more and more worked up about this and Denise is screaming loudly and so I make a sudden decision._

_"Look Angel, this isn't working, why don't you express some milk and put it in a bottle and try that, I know its not the same as breast feeding but it does have its advantages, the main one being I can help out with feeds and feel a part of it," I pause and watch as she thinks this over._

_She nods and I ask the nurse to make it happen. A short while later Eva has a breast pump and a set of sterilised bottles. I watch as she pumps the breast milk into the bottle._

_"How much should I do?" she asks._

_I shrug, as I have no fucking idea. Eva pumps until she has half a small bottle full and then offers it to our daughter who immediately takes it and sucks happily._

_I lean forward and wrap my arm around them. "Well would you look at that," I say as I watch them._

_Denise doesn't take all the milk, but she takes most of it and when Eva has burped her she falls asleep in Eva's arms. I take numerous photographs on my phone, I want to capture every single moment and keep it safe for ever. Eva expresses some more milk and the nurse returns to explain to us how to store it._

_I make a few calls, I call Scott and tell him to inform PR that Eva has given birth and to release the pre approved statement. Scott congratulates me and I tell him to clear my schedule for the rest of the week. _

_He asks about the Safe House project and I tell him I will talk to Christian about it tomorrow. Because I was running late, I'd sent Angus to pick up Christian from the airport and I'd taken the decision to drive myself to the safe house. It was Raul's day off and I am so glad I made that decision because I was running late I forgot my paperwork and asked Christian to pick it up. Christopher had called saying he was also heading over to the penthouse to drop off some Vidal paperwork and that gave me the idea to send Christian to go and fetch the safe house paperwork. It was almost fate, they were in the right place at the right time and they both stepped up and took care of my wife. _

_When I have finished I call Chris. I am expecting him to know, because Christopher was missing from the office for so long._

_"Hello" he says as he answers._

_"Chris its Gideon" I say._

_"Gideon, how are you, how's Eva?" he asks._

_I smile, "she is perfect, wonderful as always, I'm ringing to tell you my daughter has been born, although I guess Christopher may have already told you, after all he was AWOL from Vidal for most of the afternoon," I say._

_Chris laughs, "Yes he called me a short while ago, he told me but said I had to sound surprised when you told me, as he didn't want to steal your thunder". _

_I laugh, "It was pretty intense Chris, she got stuck as she was being born and if it wasn't for Denise keeping a cool head and Christopher and Christian doing what Denise told them to do, well... I don't want to think about it," I say._

_"Hey, come on Gideon, it's over now and your daughter is ok isn't she?" he asks._

_"Yes, she has been checked out and tests have been done but there doesn't appear to be any damage done" I say._

_"Well that's brilliant news, is Eva alright?" he asks. _

_"Yes, although I'm convinced she must be pretty sore and tired" I say._

_"That's good news. Listen, I have to go right now, but I will come over this evening to the hospital and see you all, if that's alright with you?" he asks._

_"I'd like that, thank you" I say._

_We talk for a few moments longer and then hang up. I text Ireland, and then Grace and Elliot in Seattle. I quickly get congratulations texts back from Elliot and Ireland, but a few moments later my phone starts to ring and I smile as I see the word 'Mom' pop up along with a picture of Grace._

_"Hello" I say._

_"Gideon darling, it's Grace. Congratulations to you and Eva. How is she? Did everything go alright is the baby alright?" she asks._

_"Oh mom it was the most terrifying moment of my life" I blurt out._

_"Why, what happened?" Grace asks her voice full of concern._

_"The baby got stuck as she was being born; we were in my apartment, no medical help. Christian, Christian's Aunt Denise and my brother Christopher were handling everything until I got there and then as I say she got stuck, but Denise was so calm and she organised us all like an army and thankfully everything worked out for the best, I'm sure Christian will tell you everything as well" I say._

_"Well I'm glad everything is alright? Has she been checked over correctly and thoroughly?" Grace asks, and I hear the medical paediatrician talking now and I smile._

_"Yes she was checked over and numerous tests were done, we are still waiting for some results coming back" I say._

_Grace congratulates us once more and tells us that we need to visit Seattle soon. I hang up from Grace and the door opens and a doctor appears with some papers in his hand, I stiffen and I look at Eva, she reaches for me and I grip her hand._

_"Mr Cross, Mrs Cross, congratulations on a beautiful little girl" he says, "I am pleased to tell you I have checked all the results and there doesn't appear to be any damage to your daughter's shoulder, I have to say I am really impressed, as whoever delivered this baby knew what they were doing, you have a very healthy little girl" he says._

_"Thank you doctor" I say as I sag with relief…_

I am brought back to the here and now and out of my thoughts by the door opening, I look up and see Angus. He smiles at me kindly. He has brought a bag of baby things with him, I didn't ask him to, but he just knew.

"I wondered when you were going to show your face," I say with a grin.

Angus walks over and looks first at Eva who is sleeping peacefully and smiles and then at Denise and the smile gets wider.

"You do know it's nearly 2am? You should be getting some sleep lad, you are going to have plenty of sleepless nights over the next few months, so you should get your rest while you can," he says.

I shake my head, "I can't leave them, I just can't bring myself to do it," I say.

Angus smiles, "Raul is outside, as soon as he heard he cancelled his time off and headed straight back to New York and he will be here all night, so they will be fine" Angus says.

I wasn't thinking about the security aspect, I was thinking more of the fact I just needed to be with my wife and daughter, but what Angus has just said has brought it home to me that because of me and what I have built, my daughter is at threat of being kidnapped and that thought terrifies me. I try and hold it together and push those negative thoughts from my mind.

"She is a bonny lass," Angus says "Congratulations to you both".

"Angus, would you like to hold her?" I ask him, and Angus gently takes the sleeping baby from my arms and sits down with her looking at her carefully.

"She has you stamped all over her, there is no way you can deny this little girl" he teases.

I nod, she has a mop of jet black hair and when she opened her eyes I caught sight of a pair of brilliant strikingly blue eyes. I know all babies have blue eyes when they are born but hers are exactly the same colour as mine, so I am guessing that is the colour that they will stay. She also has my face shape and features, my nose and chin. I am a little sad as I wanted to see Eva in her too but so far there doesn't seem to be a lot there, and my genes have totally taken over.

After a few moments, Angus finally persuades me to leave and go and get some sleep. He lays Denise in the crib beside Eva and covers her up. As we leave I kiss Eva on the forehead, she moans but doesn't wake. I stop and speak to Raul as I leave the room. He stands as soon as the door opens and he smiles at me.

"Congratulations sir" he says.

"Thank you Raul, go and see her if you want to, you don't have to sit out here all night" I say.

He nods at me, "thank you sir I will" he says.

I pause and look at him carefully, "If Eva wakes, tell her where I am and if she needs me don't hesitate to call me, and please... take care of them," I say.

Raul nods, "It goes without saying - You can count on it sir" he says.

_The next morning..._

I open my eyes and leap out of bed, hit the shower and within 15 minutes I am ready to head to the hospital. I quickly put on the news as I am drinking my coffee and see a reporter outside the hospital and I scowl at the TV screen. I turn up the volume and listen to the report.

_"Good Morning New York, as you can see we are outside Mount Sinai Hospital here in New York where Eva Cross the wife of Gideon Cross gave birth prematurely yesterday. An official statement was released by Cross Industries yesterday which read, Mr and Mrs Cross are delighted to announce the birth of their baby daughter earlier today. Mr Cross was present at the birth and both mother and baby are doing well. Now we are getting rumours that things weren't altogether as straightforward as is being said, and that there were complications, we don't have any more on that line yet but we will bring you details as we get them"._

I switch off the TV and call Angus to take me to the hospital.

As I am climbing into the Bentley my phone rings and I smile as I see Eva's name.

"Good morning Angel, I am just getting into the car to come and see you" I say.

"Good morning to you too, I'm glad you went home last night and got some sleep, Raul told me you left about 2am you should have gone before that," she says.

"Did you get much sleep Angel, or did Denise keep you awake?" I ask.

"It wasn't that bad actually, she woke up about 3am and then again about 7.30" I fed her and changed her diaper both times and she is asleep now" she says.

"Well that is a good thing," I say.

There is silence and when Eva speaks again there is a note of tension in her voice.

"Gideon how far away are you?" she asks anxiously.

"About five minutes why?" I ask, now on alert at her worried tone.

"Raul is arguing with someone outside my door, and by the sounds of the voice it's your mother" she says.

"Shit, it's alright Angel, I'm coming" I say. I hang up and lean forward, "Angus step on it, my mother has turned up at the hospital and is trying to get into Eva" I say.

Angus immediately speeds up and we are soon arriving at the hospital. I enter by the back route to avoid the reporters and sprint up to Eva's room. As I turn the corner I see Raul blocking the doorway, and my mother gesticulating wildly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snarl as I stride up to her.

"Gideon, I wanted to meet my grand daughter" she says.

I snort with laughter, "You can want, you are not wanted here. I made my feelings crystal clear on Friday I want nothing to do with you, you are dead to me, and you are certainly not getting anywhere near my wife or daughter" I say.

"Gideon, please" she begs.

I lean down towards her "Get the fuck away from here now," I snarl.

I watch as she shakes her head and tears start to appear in her eyes. I turn to Raul, and point at my mother, "That woman does not get access to this room" I say, Raul nods and without another word I slip into the room.

I see Eva she is on the bed with Denise in her arms and she looks worried. I walk over and sit on the bed and pull her towards me.

"It's alright Angel, I'm here" I say, I take my daughter from Eva and I see her relax.

"Raul and Angus are persuading her to leave" I say "I have made my feeling clear on this to her, so hopefully she will get the message," I add.

Eva nods at me and rests her head on my shoulder, "I want to go home" she says.

I nod, "I know you do Angel, but they wanted to keep you both here overnight just for observation because of the difficult birth but we have established everything is ok now, so I'm sure I'll be taking you home today," I say.

The door opens and I look up. I see Christian standing there with an enormous teddy bear and a huge grin.

"I bought this for my niece," he explains and I smile at him.

"Is my mother still out there?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "I didn't see her," he replies.

He looks at Denise in my arms and smiles, "Listen bro, I need to get back to Seattle, Aunt Denise is staying here as she wants to go over the Detroit safe house renovations with you. I think she is having some issues with spending money because as far as she is concerned it's not hers to spend, which she needs reassuring about. She is staying at my apartment, when she is ready to go back to Detroit, will you make sure she gets there safely?"

I nod, "Of course I will, actually I'll invite her to stay with us, at the Penthouse so she isn't alone at your apartment - it's the least I can do" I say, "is there a problem in Seattle?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "there is the potential of a problem with an acquisition I have just taken on and I want to avoid that potential evolving into a problem, and so to do that I need to be on the ground," he says.

I nod totally understanding where he is coming from. He hands me a file of papers.

"This is everything I have on the Seattle safe house I've acquired, please have a look and let me know what you think" he says.

I nod again, "I will" I say.

Christian gives Eva a kiss on the cheek and turns his attention to Denise who is awake and looking up at him, he runs his finger down her cheek and gently takes her from my arms and into his own.

"And you little lady, make sure you give your daddy hell, lots of sleepless nights ok?" he says with a grin as he cradles her gently.

I stare at him, "Seriously?" I say as I take my daughter back from him.

And I just get a huge grin in return. "Look bro, I have to go, I'll call you when I get back to Seattle" he says and he gives me a warm embrace. I slap him on the shoulder and thank him once again for everything he did.

He dismisses my thanks with a wave of his hand and I watch as he quickly says goodbye to Eva and then he is gone.


	78. Chapter 78

CHAPTER 78

**(EVA)**

I truly love being a mother, my daughter although a little early and suffering quite a traumatic start to life is strong and thriving. Gideon is a wonderful father, just as I knew he would be, he is completely hands on and despite having to go to work each day, he insists on taking his fair share of the nightshift.

Christian's Aunt Denise came to stay with us for a few days while she went over the details for the Detroit safe house with Gideon, and he reassured her that if she thought the centre needed something, she had cart blanche to implement it. It took quite a lot of persuasion for her to accept this fact, but by the time she left for Detroit I think Gideon had reassured her.

Gideon has been talking to Christian quite a bit on the phone as well as the three safe houses they are creating they are also organising the wedding. We are calling it that but it is more like a vow renewal, I am looking forward to it immensely. We had originally planned to marry at Christian and Ana's place for our families, after we eloped to Vegas but with one thing and another including the helicopter crash it got postponed and so we decided to leave it until after I had, had the baby.

I look down at my daughter, I am feeding her and she is staring up at me with intensely blue eyes, Gideon's eyes. She is a carbon copy of her father and I don't see any part of me in her at all. My father came to visit and he cooed and fussed over his granddaughter, and it was amusing to watch that big, proud and strong Californian cop so completely smitten.

My mother has been a total pain, there is no other word for it, she cried and worried when she found out the details of the birth and at every possible opportunity she brings up the fact we both could have died and I am getting sick of it. She is making a drama out of something which although scary and worrying at the time is now done and finished, and it's almost as if she looking at what happened as some kind of harbinger of impending doom. Even Stanton is getting sick of hearing her, and he indulges her like no-one else and I nearly stood up and applauded him when he told her to stop talking like that, when they came to visit.

Elizabeth is also being an irritating nuisance, after turning up at the hospital she has tried to get to us here at the Penthouse a couple of times, by dropping by unannounced after Gideon has left for work. I wonder why she is bothering as Gideon had made his position totally clear, that day when she was evicted from Vidal Manor but she just hasn't taken the hint – or is just too selfish and narcissistic to accept it.

I finish feeding my daughter and we go and get ready, because we are going out today. I have started working from home, just doing odd bits and pieces, but I am enjoying being at home and being a mom. I dress my daughter in a pretty dress and I get myself ready and try to make myself look presentable. I glance down at my stomach, there is still a slight baby belly there but it's slowly going. Gideon keeps tells me I'm being silly about it, and that it is a non issue.

I dig out a pair of jeans and look at them longingly, then after holding them up I wonder if I could get them to fit me, so I pull them on and then lie down on the bed to try and fasten them. I manage it and get up with a smug sense of accomplishment, and then I slip on a pretty top and a pair of pumps. I put on some make up and brush my hair, putting it up into a pony tail. I give myself a once over in the mirror and am happy with how I look. I turn and look at my daughter who is lying there staring up at me.

"Come on sweet pea, we are going to see daddy at work" I say to her, as I lift her up into my arms.

I walk towards the baby carrier and slip her into it. "Daddy is going to want to show you off to everyone, because he is so proud of you," I say as I strap her in.

I pick up my phone and call Raul.

"Are you ready to leave Mrs Cross?" he asks politely.

"As I'll ever be" I reply.

"I'm waiting right outside ma'am" he says.

I pick up the huge bag which now accompanies me everywhere when I have my daughter with me and I leave the penthouse, lock the door and head down in the elevator. Raul is waiting for me as the doors slide open, and he looks down at the carrier and smiles. Returning his attention to me he leads me out to the car waiting at the kerb. It is a hot day today, quite humid and oppressive so I am keen to get us into the comfort of the air conditioned car.

"Eva!" I hear someone call me and I look around and see Elizabeth hurrying towards me.

"Oh shit" I mutter.

"Get into the car quickly Mrs Cross" Raul says as he opens the door.

I don't hesitate and quickly climb in and secure the carrier and then buckle myself in. I see him arguing with Elizabeth as he tries to prevent her getting to us but as he climbs into the front of the car she moves quickly to the back and opens the back door and thrusts a letter at me.

"Please give this to Gideon," she says and then she slams the door shut.

I stare at the letter in my hand for a moment, shocked at her audacity and then I hand it to Raul.

I watch as Raul quickly calls Gideon and fills him in on the incident. He assures him we are alright and he mentions the letter. I watch as Gideon is obviously speaking and issuing some kind of instruction.

"Yes Sir" Raul says eventually and he hangs up and then smoothly pulls into the New York traffic.

When I arrive at the Crossfire and walk into the lobby, the first thing I see is my husband leaning against the security desk talking to the guards. As soon as he sees me he walks over and pulls me into his arms and takes the carrier from me.

"Are you alright Angel?" he asks me anxiously.

"I'm fine, honestly," I say.

Gideon looks carefully at me and then nods, satisfied I am speaking the truth. I watch as Raul hands him the letter from his mother and he simply tears it up and hands it back to Raul without a word. He then wordlessly secures his arm around me and with his hand on the bottom of my back he leads me to the elevator and upstairs to the Cross Industries offices.

As we walk in I see Meg and she quickly stands smiling widely. I realise she is trying to see into the carrier. Gideon obliges her and walks over and pauses beside the desk, proudly showing off his daughter. Word soon gets around the office and it takes us an age to walk the relatively short distance to reach Gideon's office, with the ooh's and aahs and words of congratulations. I look up at Gideon and I smile as I see him almost bursting with pride.

Scott stands as we approach and he too goes all gooey when he lays eyes on Denise. When we eventually make it into my husband's office, Gideon immediately removes Denise from her carrier. I quickly take out my phone and snap some photographs of Gideon sitting at his desk with his daughter in his arms and it's a beautiful sight, the CEO and the family man coming together. I smile as I watch him talking to Denise and telling her that this is where daddy works. All too soon though, our private moment is disturbed by Scott's voice coming through the intercom.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but Mrs Vidal is in reception asking for you," he says.

Gideon looks at me and his face hardens.

He goes to tell Scott to send her away, but I lift my hand.

"Gideon wait, she's obviously not going to give it up, so just listen to what she has to say and then hopefully she will leave us alone" I say.

Gideon stares at me for a moment and I think he is going to refuse, but then he sighs and speaks to Scott again.

"Show her up, but tell her she has one minute," he says.

We wait and a few moments later Gideon's office door opens and there she is. She hesitantly walks in and her eyes zero in and fix on Denise. Gideon is still holding her and when he sees his mother's reaction, he wraps his arm protectively around her as if shielding her from his mother gaze. I quickly walk over to him.

"Give her to me while you talk to your mom," I say gently. Gideon carefully releases her to me and I go to leave the room.

"Eva, no!" Gideon says sharply, this brings me to a halt and I look up at him, "Stay… please," he adds more gently.

I nod at him, "Ok, I'll stay but any raised voices and I am out of here, our daughter doesn't need to be exposed to it," I say firmly.

Gideon nods and then walks around his desk and leans on it, folding his arms. I am taking notice of his stance and what he has done. Normally he would have asked the person seeing him to sit down in front of his desk, or taken them over to the sofas but he has done neither of these things, so he is sending the clear message to his mother that she isn't welcome here.

"Did Eva give you the letter?" she asks.

Gideon nods, "She did" he replies curtly.

"Have you had chance to read it yet?" she asks hopefully.

Gideon shakes his head, "As soon as I received it, I ripped it up without looking at it. I have made my position crystal clear and I am not interested in anything you have to say" he says.

Elizabeth looks at me and scowls, "You are responsible for this," she spits.

"Gideon pushes away from his desk and stands directly in front of his mother, he is trying to intimidate her and it appears to work as she takes a step back.

"You would not be standing in this office now if it wasn't for Eva, so think very carefully before you say anything else. I was going to tell Scott to tell you to leave, but Eva persuaded me to hear you out, and as you have already had more than the minute I gave you, I suggest you hurry up and say what you want to say before I call security and have you escorted from the building".

He glares at her menacingly, waiting for her response.

"Gideon please, I want to put a stop to all this unpleasantness. I want to make amends" she says, she reaches for him and like lightning he grabs her wrist and prevents her from touching him, pushing it away from him.

"Why?" he asks.

Elizabeth stares at him, and doesn't answer and Gideon smiles, but it's not a good smile.

"I'll tell you why, because you are looking to try and get Chris back, because you are now alone, you have been alienated from your own family. Nobody wants you because they all see you for what you truly are, well welcome to my world mother. That was the life I lived until I met Eva. I lived, no existed, I existed alone. I had no family, I had to rely on myself because I had no-one else but I have my own family now and you are not going to take that from me. You have taken too much already, and I am only now just reclaiming it all" he says.

Elizabeth stares at him, and shakes her head, "Gideon I love you" she pleads.

He shakes his head, "No you don't, if you loved me you wouldn't have even thought the fact that you wished you had aborted me, let alone said those very words to my brother. I can go through the things you said to me as I was growing up, things no mother should ever say to her child. I am a father now and I would never ever dream of saying some of the things you said to me to my daughter, because I _do_ love her! Now, I have said this once already, and it is boring me now, so this is the final time I am going to say it. I don't want you in my life, you are dead to me. So leave, me, alone! If you continue to choose to ignore what I am saying I _will_ have you served with a restraining order. Stay away from me and stay away from my wife and my daughter, this is your last warning, now if you will excuse me I have to continue with my day".

I watch as Gideon turns his back on her and returns to his desk. Elizabeth stares at him, there is no hurt or pain which would be the usual response to something like that and there is no remorse either, instead there is just defiance and anger in her eyes.

"Alright Gideon I will do as you ask, you won't see or hear from me again" she says.

"Good," Gideon replies casually, not even looking at her as he says it, she gives me one final filthy look and then we watch as she turns and leaves.

As soon as we are alone Gideon walks towards me and pulls me into his arms and he strokes our daughter's head gently and he kisses my forehead.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

Gideon nods but doesn't say anything, and I know that somewhere deep inside him he is wrestling with his conscience over what he has just done.

I touch his arm and he looks at me carefully, "Why don't you call Ana and have a chat with her, she will understand what you have done. I mean she disowned her mother. I don't think Elizabeth will commit suicide to spite you but Carla was a piece of work, so she will be able to relate" I suggest gently.

Gideon thinks this over and nods, "I think I will," he says and he pulls me closer, "Thank you Angel" he says.

"Anytime, that's what I am here for, to help and support you and why do I do that?" I ask him.

He smiles at me and in an amused tone says "Because you are my wife and you love me," he says.

"Damn straight and don't you ever forget it," I say.

_Meanwhile in Seattle..._

**(ANA)**

"Good morning baby" I open my eyes to the voice of my husband whispering in my ear and nuzzling against my neck, and I giggle.

"I love that sound," he says and I feel his hand wandering to my breast. I moan and struggle to my side to face him.

"What are you up to?" I ask innocently.

Christian grins at me, "Well at this moment I am touching your beautiful breast... like this" he says as he runs his fingers over my nipple, which makes me gasp.

"Then I am going to move my hand down your beautiful body like this, until I reach this area here," he says, he pushes his hand between my legs, I open them to allow him access, and he moans as he feels how wet I am.

"Always so ready for me baby," he says.

I reach for him and run my hand over his prominent erection, standing proud between us, "I could say the same thing," I retort.

I feel him shiver as I run my hands over him, and I shuffle down the bed and take him in my mouth and he gasps and starts thrusting into my mouth.

"Ana, I don't want to come in your mouth," he grunts after a few moments, and he tries to push me away, I pull away and he rolls on to his back.

"On top now, ride me" he demands.

I carefully straddle him, and he holds my arms until I have my balance. I am hovering over him and I reach down and grasp him as I sink down on to him and I moan at the feeling of him entering me.

"Are you alright?" he asks looking at me carefully.

I nod and I start to move, he shuffles up the bed holding me in place and I reach for his shoulders to steady myself as I start to move. Christian's hands move to my hips and he controls my movements.

"Slowly baby, I need this slow," he says as I start to move faster.

He grips my hips and controls the pace. We continue to move as one and I feel him stiffen he is close and so am I, I feel the sensation building inside me and I grip his shoulders.

"I'm so close Christian, I'm going to come," I gasp.

"So am I baby," he answers.

I feel my orgasm hit me and I call out his name and I feel my inside clench around him. He thrusts a few more times and then he stills and calls out loudly, gripping my hips and holding me down on him as he empties himself inside me.

"Fuck, god damn it," he says and then gasping he pulls me to him so I am lying across him.

"Thank you baby, that was so good," he says and he plants numerous kisses on my neck.

We remain like that for a few moments, still joined together just holding each other.

"Come on, we need to shower, and get ready for work" he says reluctantly.

I ease myself off him and I feel him slide out of me. We go for a shower and get ready for a day at the office. I am winding down now, not through choice but at Christian's insistence. He has been so jumpy since Eva gave birth prematurely. I keep pointing out that I have much longer left in my pregnancy, it is only mid June and I am not due till the end of August, but for his piece of mind and my sanity I have decided to call it a day until after our daughter is born.

We head down to the kitchen where Gail is busy and she turns and greets us warmly as we enter.

"Good morning, what would you like for breakfast?" she asks us.

I opt for granola this morning and Christian has his usual omelette. As we are eating in companionable silence, my phone rings and I idly look at it and I am surprised to see Gideon's name on the screen.

"Good morning Gideon," I say as I quickly answer.

"Hi Ana, I'm sorry to bother you but I was after a bit of advice," comes the rather subdued response.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and Christian immediately looks up, his fork suspended in mid air.

"My mother" he replies. "I was hoping to talk to you. I mean, you disowned Carla, are you alright about talking about it, I don't want to upset you or anything?" he says.

"Gideon, what's happened? Talk to me" I say gently.

I hear him sigh and he launches into details about a confrontation with his mother at Vidal Manor and then another this morning at his office, where both times he told her he wanted nothing to do with her. He told me how eventually he had threatened her with a restraining order and she had seemingly, finally got the message.

"Do you think I did the right thing Ana, from your point of view I mean?" he asks.

"Gideon, I can't comment on your mother as I don't know her. But purely going on what you have said and how she treated you and all the things she has said and done, not to mention the things she didn't do. I would say, if my mother had done half of those things to me, I would have done totally the same thing and I did disown my mother and she was nowhere near as bad as Elizabeth" I say.

"So you don't think I was being unreasonable?" he asks.

"No I don't, you need to protect yourself Gideon and from what you have said and from my very limited experience of her, she is a toxic influence in your life which you don't need" I say.

"Ok, thank you" he replies but I get the impression he still isn't totally convinced.

"Gideon, you are a parent now. Look at your daughter would you ever consider doing to your daughter what your mother did to you? Have you ever have considered telling Eva to have an abortion?" I ask "It's not quite the same thing but it's the only analogy I can come up with" I add.

"No I wouldn't" he says instantly and firmly almost before I have finished speaking and I smile.

"There you go then, for a mother to not only think, but voice comments like that, but then voice them to another of her children is unspeakably abhorrent. The way she behaved that day on the video link when you asked her who your father was spoke volumes to me about what sort of person she is. All she was worried about was how you had found out and the fact that Joel had been sleeping with Christian's mother at the same time as her, she had no maternal concern whatsoever as to how that information had affected you and the ramifications of it and that was just wrong," I say and then I stop and wait.

"Thank you Ana," he replies, "Just one more thing, how did you feel when you finally told your mother you wanted nothing to do with her?" he asks.

I think for a moment, as I recall that moment in the gatehouse at Christmas with my family around me.

"Liberated, I think that is the best way to describe it. I finally saw her how she really was, I had always tried to make excuses for her and hoped she would change but I was deluded, she would never change and when I finally realised that and said what I said, I liberated myself from her and all her negative toxicity. Then when she took her revenge by killing herself although I do think now it was just her way of trying to attract my attention and just it went horribly wrong. I realised just how selfish she was and as I said at the time, she either killed herself to spite me, or it was an attempt at emotional blackmail that went horribly wrong but whatever it was, she was clearly a very disturbed woman, she tried to blame me for her short comings but I refused to let her. They were _her_ actions and hers alone, her letter said it was pretty much an act of revenge on me and yet all I could feel is release from the worry and concern that she was always going to show up and do something or let me down again. She was a very different person to your mother in some ways, but in others they were very similar, but I didn't look back or regret for a moment my decision to remove her from my life" I say.

There is a silence, "Thank you Ana," Gideon says eventually.

"You are more than welcome" I say, "Just remember, you are a good man and you have many people in your life now who love you and who care about you. So, and this may sound harsh, but why concern yourself with the people who don't?" I say.

"Thank you, and you are completely right, I do. I have more family now than I have ever had in my life" he says much more confidently and I smile, as I realise that what I have said has laid whatever doubts he was having to rest and he is now at peace with his decision.

Gideon thanks me once more and I tell him to call me anytime he needs to chat, and he assures me he will and then ends the call.

I look at Christian, who has obviously been listening to the one sided conversation, as I lay down my phone beside me.

"Is Gideon ok?" he asks me anxiously.

I nod, "I think he is now" I say. "From what he was saying it sounds like his mother was making trouble again, and he told her where to go. I think he just needed reassuring he had done the right thing, so my guess is Eva probably suggested he call me and talk it over. I mean after the way I removed Carla from my life," I add.

Christian nods, "But he's ok now?" he asks.

I nod, "I think so, why don't you call him yourself later on?" I suggest.

Christian nods and carries on with his breakfast.

**oooOOOooo**

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am sitting in my office staring out of the window over Seattle; it's a grey drizzly day today even though it is mid June.

I am concerned about Gideon, after his call to Ana this morning and so I decide to give him a call. I glance at my watch and make the call. I decide to call the office in case he is in a meeting or something and I reach Scott.

"Good morning Scott, would it be possible for me to speak to my brother?" I ask politely.

There is a brief pause "Good morning Mr Grey, please hold the line and I will connect you," Scott replies.

The next thing I hear Gideon's voice on the line, "Christian, what can I do for you?" he says.

"Nothing, I was just checking in after your call to Ana this morning, I was concerned," I say.

"I see, no everything is fine but listen can I call you back?" he says and I immediately realise I have disturbed a meeting or something.

"Are you in a meeting?" I ask.

"I am" he replies.

"Ok, give me call later," I say, he assures me he will and we say our goodbyes and hang up.

It is about twenty minutes later my cell phone buzzes with Gideon's name on the screen. I answer and immediately he launches into an apology.

"Don't worry about it, but if you were unavailable, Scott shouldn't have put me through," I say.

I hear Gideon sigh, "Eva said much the same thing once when she called me, but I have a standing order that if you, Ana, Eva or Ireland call, you are to be connected immediately no matter what, maybe I should reconsider that" he says.

"I have the same standing order so don't worry about it" I say, "but in my case it's just Ana and you" I add. "Anyway, my reason for calling Ana told me what you said this morning and I was just checking in to make sure everything was ok?" I say.

"I'm fine now, my mother has been practically stalking Eva trying to get to me through her, the last straw was this morning, she was lying in wait for her and when she left the Penthouse to come and see me, she accosted her and gave her a letter to give me, then a short while later she turned up at my office to see if I'd read it" he says.

"Shit! What did you do?" I ask.

"I was all for ignoring her and having her escorted from my building, but Eva persuaded me to speak to her and hear her out, so I did. She wants to forgive and forget, but I told her where to go and threatened her if she came near Eva or myself again I would serve her with a restraining order. I think she finally got the message," he says.

"Wow" I say.

"You don't mind me calling Ana do you? I just wanted her take on everything, I mean she went through something similar with Carla, and my thought was she would give me honest, reliable advice and opinion – which she did," he says.

"No, not at all, I was just worried about you that's all, I needed to know you were ok," I say lamely.

"Really? You were worried... about me?" he asks.

"Yes I was," I say.

There is a short silence and then I hear a small incredulous laugh.

"This concept of people caring about me, it's still quite a novelty," he admits quietly.

"Well get fucking used to it, because I do," I say, but my heart breaks for him as I hear that. I had a family who loved me dearly yet I pushed them away for years, but Gideon was alienated from his and he had a mother who never really wanted him.

"Thank you Christian it means a lot," he says.

I see my desk phone lighting up, "Look bro I have a call coming in, I need to go" I say.

We say our goodbyes and I pick up my desk phone.

"Grey" I snap.

"Mr Grey, I have a Mr McIntyre on line one for you, he says it's a personal call" Andrea's wary voice come to me.

I immediately sit up, "McIntyre?" I question, and I immediately bristle at the mention of my maternal biological grandfather.

"Yes sir" she replies.

I hesitate a moment wondering whether to just ignore it, and then curiosity gets the better of me and I make the decision, fuck it I'll see what he wants.

"Put him through," I say.

There is a pause and I hear the call being connected.

"Grey" I spit out in a harsh, clipped tone which seems to emphasise my surname even more, which is my intention.

"Christian? Is that you?" the voice on the other end says nervously.

"It is," I say equally curtly.

"Christian, we seemed to get off on the wrong foot when we met. I have seen what you are doing downtown in Detroit with that community centre thing you are building, and I wanted to contribute financially towards it" he says.

I pause for a moment, and gather my thoughts. I am suspicious and cynical about his motives and don't believe for one moment he is looking for reconciliation.

I let out a rude derisive snort, "We got off on the wrong foot when you refused to acknowledge my existence when I was four years old and my mother died. Also for your information, it is not a 'community centre thing' it is a safe house; a safe house for children and teenagers who through no fault of their own are physically and sexually abused and need somewhere safe to get away from their abusers. It is my brother's project, and I am helping him get it off the ground".

"I see, well that's a very noble cause and I would like to contribute," he repeats.

"Fine, thank you. Your daughter Denise is the co-ordinator for the Detroit site, so any donations can be made directly to her," I say coldly.

"I... I... I don't think that would be a very good idea," he stammers.

"Fair enough, but if you change your mind, please contact Denise, if that's all Mr McIntyre?" I say dismissively.

"Christian, please," he says.

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"I am asking for your forgiveness" he says.


	79. Chapter 79

CHAPTER 79

'_I am asking you to forgive me_'. The words almost sting my ears as I hear them, I stare at the phone in my hand at a loss for words for a second and then I recall the way he treated Denise when I met him in Detroit and my heart hardens immediately.

"Have you called your daughter to ask for her forgiveness as well?" I ask him.

There is a silence and then eventually he responds with a quiet yet abrupt reply "No I have not," he says and there is a tone to his voice which tells me he has no intention to do so.

"Then, I have to ask, why me?" I say, although I know the answer to that before I even ask. He wants to make the link between us public, he wants to be associated with me and he wants to use me.

"Look Christian you are my grandson and I want to get to know you… before it's too late," he says.

I laugh mirthlessly, I was right I can see immediately what his angle is and I have to say I am impressed with the attempt at blatant emotional blackmail attempt but unfortunately for him I'm not taken in by it. I lean back in my seat my mind quickly working out how I am going to approach this, in the end I decide to just go with brutal honesty.

"Oh come on don't insult my intelligence, we both know it's not _me_ you want to get to know. Not _Christian McIntyre_ the orphaned son of your daughter Ella and your grandson. The man you want to get to know is _Christian Grey_; the multi billionaire businessman, don't you?" I ask.

There is a silence once again, which speaks volumes to me so I continue to speak.

"Look I am a very busy man and I don't have time for this shit. I don't for one moment believe you have genuine motives. You want to associate yourself with me because you think that it will give you some sort of standing being linked with me. I believe you are doing this for purely selfish reasons and you are not looking for forgiveness at all. You are trying to worm your way into my life so you can try to claim the bragging right that you are Christian Grey's biological grandfather. Well as I told you in Detroit, you are not my grandfather you lost any claim to those bragging rights when you refused to take Ella's flyblow into your home. My maternal grandfather is, and has always been Theo Trevelyan. He is the man I grew up with, the man I looked up to and called grandfather and the man who loves me for me not for what I have built, the size of my wallet and what influence I may have".

I stop speaking and I have an overwhelming urge to just hang up so I do. I slam the phone receiver down so hard that I have to pick it up again and check that I haven't broken it. I have an unsettled feeling now and I don't like it so I call the one person I know will soothe and comfort me.

"Hello" as soon as I hear her voice, I feel a sense of calm fill me.

"Ana, baby I need you" I blurt out before I stop and think.

"Christian? What on earth is wrong? What's happened?" she asks and her voice is full of concern. I immediately kick myself for causing her to worry about me, not to mention letting McIntyre have this effect on me.

"I had a phone call from McIntyre in Detroit claiming to want forgiveness, but I don't believe he was genuine" I say.

"I see, do you need me to come over to Grey House?" Ana asks me.

I do, but I don't want to drag her across the city. I know she is busy trying to get everything in order before she finishes on maternity leave and the last thing she needs to do is come chasing after me.

I take a deep breath and force myself to say the words I don't want to say, "No baby, I'm fine now I have heard your voice," I say although I really need to see her. "Meet me for lunch, I'll come over to Grey Publishing and collect you" I add, as I try and be an adult about all this.

"Ok, I'll see you in a short while" she says, but she still sounds worried.

We talk for a few moments longer and she coaxes me to tell her what he said to me so I do and I realise that talking it over with her does make me feel better about it. She suggests I call Denise and have a chat with her if I am still concerned and I think about that and I tell her that I will. I remind her of our lunch date and that I will see her soon and then after telling her repeatedly how much I love her, I hang up and take a deep breath. I think for a moment and then I call Denise in Detroit.

Denise's polite voice comes down the line to me and I am slightly taken aback by what she says.

"Good Morning Ella's Lodge, how may I help you?"

I pause, thrown by what she has said, but I quickly pull myself together, "Denise it's Christian," I say.

"Christian! How lovely to hear from you. How are you, and how's Ana?" she asks and I smile at the genuine warmth and sincerity in her voice.

"We are both well, Ana is wonderful and we are waiting for our baby to be born. She is getting quite big now… Anyway listen, my reason for ringing is… I just received a phone call," I say.

"Oh yes?" Denise says.

I hesitate a moment before I reply to that as I feel myself getting worked up about it once more. "Yes, from your father," I say.

There is a lengthy silence before she speaks again.

"My father called you, how did he get your number? I swear I didn't give it to him Christian, he hasn't been in touch with me and I don't expect him to" she says urgently.

My heart breaks for this woman as I hear those words, his own daughter and she doesn't expect him to even acknowledge her existence, I quickly jump in to reassure her that I know she did nothing wrong.

"Don't worry I know you didn't, he called me here at GEH and that phone number is obviously in the public domain but somehow he managed to get past the main switchboard and through to my PA. I admit that I was curious as to why he was calling so I accepted the call" I explain. "He said that he wanted my forgiveness but obviously I don't think he was being genuine," I say.

"I see, may I ask what he actually said to you?" she asks.

I quickly recount the conversation with her.

"Oh Christian… I'm so sorry and you were right to be on your guard with him. My initial reaction to what you have said is, he is getting old and his influence in Detroit has waned as he has got older. He wants the connection to you to give his own prestige here some sort of boost, as he was quite an influential man in his day. Plus he likes to be the centre of attention. Look how much attention he would get if it became public he was your biological grandfather. Please be careful Christian, he is a very small minded and vindictive man. He doesn't like it when people don't do as he wants and in his mind now you have slighted him, so he _will_ be looking for some sort of retribution because he wants that connection with you and you refused".

I pay close attention to what Denise is telling me as she knows this man far better than I do. "What do you think he will do?" I ask.

I hear her sigh, "He may go to the press and make the link public himself, so just be aware of that and be on your guard or he may try the back door approach first and try to get to you through your family, and there is also the chance he may try and cause a rift between you and your loved ones if he doesn't get the response he is looking for. He really is a nasty piece of work," she says sadly and I go cold at that thought.

"Thank you for the warning" I say, "I will tell my family to be on their guard" I add.

"No problem Christian" she replies.

We talk a while longer and she tells me about the developments with the safe house. Gideon has given her complete carte blanche to do as she wants, including naming the building and I am touched she named it after my birth mother and I tell her so. After I have ended the call I immediately call my mother.

"Dr Trevelyan speaking," she says.

"Mom it's me" I say.

"Christian darling, how lovely it is to hear from you! What can I do for you?" she asks.

"Mom, I am calling to warn you and dad. I had a phone call from my biological grandfather this morning and he claims to want forgiveness for his actions. I wasn't convinced he was being genuine and after speaking to Denise, I am now sure all he wants is to be linked to me because of who I am and what I have now. Denise warned me he could try and wheedle his way in via my family so I am calling you to be on your guard" I say and I wait for her response.

There is a long silence and I am sure my mother thinks I am over reacting on this so I quickly continue to completely drive the message home. "Honestly mom he isn't a good man, so please be careful what you say to him if he does contact you" I say.

"Alright Christian don't worry, I will. I will tell your father as well, are you totally sure his motives are so spurious?" she asks carefully.

"I have enough information to make that assumption," I say.

"Alright Christian don't worry" she says, but I get the distinct impression she isn't totally convinced.

"Mom, if you are unsure of this let me tell you something which may change your opinion. When Ella died and he was approached as my biological family, his wife wanted to take me but he said no and he allegedly said 'Ella's flyblow wasn't setting foot in his house'. I confronted him with this when I was in Detroit and he didn't deny saying it. He tried to say his words had been taken out of context but he didn't deny he said it and the fact he said them at all in any context… well, to me that is on the same level as what Elizabeth said about Gideon, when she told Christopher she wished she had aborted him and what Carla said to Ana when she wrote that diabolical suicide letter," I say.

My mother replies and her tone is now one of shocked disgust, "I totally agree with you darling, that was a wicked thing to say about any child, but his own flesh and blood!" she says.

I end the call with my mother and I call my father myself and warn him. He immediately goes into lawyer mode and assures me he will do all he can to prevent this man capitalising on his biological link with me. I call Elliot and Mia and I warn them. They both assure me they will be on their guard and Elliot promises me he will call and warn Kate as soon as he gets off the phone from me and then I call Gideon and warn him.

"Does he know we are brothers?" he asks after he has listened to everything I have told him.

I sigh, "I don't know, but I did say to him that the safe house in Detroit was my brother's project, so he only has to look into it to find out Crossroads and therefore you are behind it and then put two and two together along with the public announcement we made a few weeks ago when we broadcast to the world that we are brothers" I say.

"Don't worry Christian he won't get round me, he sounds like a piece of work. Perhaps I should introduce him to my mother!" he says flippantly. "Seriously though, I'll get my team on this and keep an ear to the ground, if he tries to go public I'll do everything I can from here to discredit him," he says.

"Thank you Gideon" I say gratefully.

I glance at my watch and realise its lunch time and so I call Taylor and quickly fill him in on the events of this morning, as we head down to the car. He assures me he will keep tabs on what McIntyre gets up to and liaise with Gideon's people to try and counter anything he may do.

We arrive at Grey publishing and I stride in past reception nodding at Claire who greets me warmly. When I reach Ana's office I notice that the door is open and I stop and take a moment to watch my wife buried in her work, she looks up and our eyes meet. Her smile leaves me breathless and I walk towards her.

"Is it that time already?" she asks as she stands and looks at her watch, she moves towards me.

I open my arms and she walks into them, I hold her tightly and I close my eyes as I bury my nose into her hair and inhale deeply.

"Christian what's wrong, is that call with McIntyre still bothering you?" she asks as she pulls away and looks at me carefully.

How well she knows me, I really can't hide anything from her. I nod and she pulls me into her office and makes me sit down on the small sofa beside her.

"What happened, talk to me Christian?" she asks.

I tell her everything that happened since I spoke to her last, including the conversation with Denise and her warnings. Ana's face hardens and she stiffens visibly.

"Please baby, don't let this upset you" I say noting the change in her demeanour.

She shakes her head, "No, I'm not upset Christian, far from it. That man won't get past me if he calls" she says firmly.

I smile at her, my wife who loves me so completely and will defend me unquestioningly.

"Thank you baby," I say quietly.

As we stand to leave, Ana's desk phone rings and she holds up one finger towards me, "Just let me get this. I am expecting a call from one of my authors," she says, so I nod and sit down again.

I watch and I see the expression on her face she looks directly at me and I see the icy determined look once again in her eyes.

"Put him through" she says, as she keeps her eyes fixed on me.

"Good afternoon Mr McIntyre what can I do for you?" she says and I immediately bristle with anger, I stand and Ana raises her hand and looks at me warningly. I sit down again but listen intently to the one sided conversation.

I watch as Ana listens to him and her lip curls derisively and her free hand clenches into a fist. Then she speaks and her tone is businesslike and very cold.

"Mr McIntyre, I really don't understand why you are contacting me, I am not my husband's keeper. I am his wife. Yes we are a partnership, but I wouldn't dream of trying to persuade him to see you if he wasn't inclined to, and besides; it is his choice who he allows into his life. If he doesn't want you there, you cannot force yourself in nor reasonably expect me to do anything about it" she says.

She listens to his response and then she speaks again.

"If I might stop you there Mr McIntyre, I think from what you have just said you have no real intention of wanting a relationship with my husband. All you want is to hang on to his coat tails; you want the prestige that his name being connected to yours would inevitably bring to you. You are a lonely old man who is clearly facing his own mortality and you want to leave this earth in what you perceive to be a blaze of glory, reunited with your biological grandson but what you fail to realise is, you irreparably severed that link the day you denied Christian when he was a child and the authorities offered you the chance to raise him. What was it you called him - Ella's flyblow? That is a disgusting thing to say, period. But to say those sickeningly repulsive words about your own flesh and blood is just completely repellent. No Mr McIntyre, you listen to me; Christian is a wonderful man and you have no idea what he went through as a child before he was adopted and the issues he has faced all his life from what happened to him. You don't know, because you abdicated your place in his life and you can't just stroll back into it now because you believe it would benefit you to do so. You are a vile, selfish and manipulative man and I don't wish to have any further association with you, so please do not contact me again as I will not take your call".

With that Ana puts the phone down with a bang and looks at me. My heart is bursting with the love and pride I am feeling for my wife at this moment.

She looks at me once more and smiles sweetly at me, "Shall we go to lunch now?" she says standing calmly.

I nod and offer her my hand and we leave the office, she pauses at reception and tells Claire that if McIntyre calls again he is under no circumstances to be put though. Claire nods and writes the name down on the no contact list.

I text Gideon and tell him about McIntyre's attempt to get to me through Ana.

_**McIntyre just called Ana – it wasn't pretty! **_

Gideon's response is almost immediate.

_**Is Ana ok?**_

I smile as I send my reply.

_**She's fine – don't think he is, she gave him both barrels!**_

Again Gideon's response is almost immediate.

_**Good for her!**_

We are sitting enjoying our lunch at a private table in a small restaurant when Taylor approaches us.

"Sir, it would appear Mr McIntyre has approached one of Mr Kavanagh's media outlets in Detroit, requesting an interview".

I look up and as I do so my phone starts to ring. I glance at it and see it is Kate calling me, I hold up my hand to Taylor and take the call.

"Hello Kate" I say as I answer and Taylor smiles.

"Christian, Elliot told me to be on my guard about that guy McIntyre in Detroit, since then it would appear he has contacted my dad wanting to do an interview. Anyway, from what he said it was regarding you and my dad called me and asked me to check with you before he agrees to anything. So I filled my dad in on who he is and I told him what Elliot had said and so now he is furious that he is being used as a puppet for this guy. I talked to my dad and explained what he is trying to do and we came up with an idea which we believe could get him out of your life for good, but obviously we need your permission to go ahead".

"What is the idea?" I ask, intrigued by this development.

"Well, he said to my dad that he wants to donate a substantial sum to the safe house project in Detroit, and he wants to use the interview to send you a personal message while promoting the fact he is giving this money – he says to draw attention to such a good cause, but in light of what you told us, more like to make himself look good and make the link between you two public and leave you in a position where you can't avoid him without looking like the bad guy. I thought we could set up an interview and have you video link in from Seattle and basically ask him why he is doing it when he denied you as a child" she says.

I think this over, "Ok, I can see your angle but I don't want any adverse publicity surrounding Gideon's project" I say.

"Don't worry about that because it won't be aired it will all be fake. Gideon has already approached dad to publicise the Safe House project and we were already in the process of putting together a promotional piece about the project and why it is happening. What we will do is make McIntyre think it is being recorded for a later broadcast and then afterwards we will edit it and remove all trace of McIntyre and use extra bits to put together the promotional piece for the safe house which _will_ be aired… so what do you think?" she asks.

"I'm inclined to say yes, but give me a chance to speak to Gideon and my Aunt Denise in Detroit and see if I can get them on board with this. He disowned both his daughters and refuses to build bridges with Denise. Gideon and I hired Denise to run the Detroit centre and she is overseeing the renovations and so by rights she should be the one he approaches with any donation, but has already made it crystal clear that he won't do that. She knows what he is like, so if we can get her on board it would be useful," I say.

"Oh Christian that would be perfect if you could, dad said I would be the one flying out to Detroit to do the interview, the idea being that Mr McIntyre will be more forthcoming with the daughter of the owner of Kavanagh Media, as he will think he is being given preferential treatment. Plus I said I was certain you would be happier with me being involved rather than a third party who isn't aware of the background" she says.

"Thank you Kate, may I ask why your father is prepared to go to such lengths?" I ask.

Kate lets out a small laugh, "I asked dad much the same thing and he told me that he knows McIntyre from way back, he said that they were big buddies back in the day when dad was just starting out but from what he said McIntyre suddenly turned on him after dad did a piece on him which wasn't totally complimentary, he didn't tell me exactly what happened but I get the impression he tried to ruin Kavanagh Media but obviously my dad survived the attack. So he was more than surprised when he got in touch again out of the blue claiming to want to build bridges and also on his guard and now that he realises that McIntyre really doesn't want to build bridges and is only using try to use him to get to you, well let's just say it pissed him off and I think he is looking for his own revenge for what McIntyre did to him all those years ago. Plus he didn't want to do anything to piss you off, and then there are my links to the Grey family so my dad is willing to help you get this man".

I listen carefully to what she tells me, I don't like the media but know that they are a necessary evil. I have always guarded my privacy and I know that Kavanagh Media are generally speaking one of the more morally reputable Media outlets. Plus I know that with Kate's links to our family Ken Kavanagh wouldn't do anything to jeopardise that and he knows that if he ever did do anything to hurt me or my family I wouldn't hesitate to crush him.

"Thank you Kate I'll get back to you as soon as I can" I say and we say our goodbyes, I turn to Ana who is looking questioningly at me.

"He's gone to the media," I say shortly and Ana gasps. I hold up my hand "but, he approached Kavanagh Media" I say with a grin, "and a certain person is now on the case," I add.

"Kate," Ana says an evil smile playing on her lips.

"Correct" I say, I call Gideon and fill him in and he immediately agrees to be a part of it, he also suggested being on the video link from New York, to boost McIntyre's ego even more by letting him think he had two multi billionaires jumping to his tune. I agree immediately and Gideon assures me that he will call Kate and arrange things from his end.

I then call Denise and tell her what we are planning and as soon as I explain everything and tell her what we have planned she is totally on board with it. I ask if it's alright if I give her contact details to Kate so she can call her directly to make the arrangements, and Denise agrees immediately.

"Kate Kavanagh? Isn't that your brother's, erm... Elliot's girlfriend?" she asks.

"The very same," I say smugly.

Denise lets out a small giggle, "Dad is going to be furious when he finds out, as he thinks he is getting one up on you. Ken Kavanagh was big buddies with my dad, so it's no wonder he approached him," she says.

"The thing is Ken Kavanagh also knows I am far more influential than your father and with Kate dating my brother he really doesn't want to rock the boat" I say.

"Oh Christian this is going to be wonderful, he is going to get his comeuppance once and for all" Denise says gleefully.

**oooOOOooo**

Two weeks later and everything is in place, to stage the bogus interview. We have organised an elaborate hoax to set up McIntyre and put him in his place once and for all. Kate's father has called in favours with a local Detroit TV channel and from what I have been told, McIntyre is by all accounts overjoyed that this segment is being 'recorded' to go out on the local Detroit news and that not only am I joining him live from Seattle via video link but Gideon is also joining us live from New York.

He believes he will be shown as a powerful man with not just one but two multi billionaires dancing to his tune, whereas the truth is very different and we are about to humiliate him and I am feeling quite smug about it. I have spoken to Denise who is bouncing with anticipation about playing her part.

The plan is to confront McIntyre with the truth of the situation and his part in my mother's death, which he is trying to manipulate to his advantage, then the 'interview' will be edited and aired as a real promotion for Ella's Lodge. I have agreed to leave references to the fact I wasn't claimed by my biological family in the finished piece to prevent any further attempts from McIntyre to approach me along the links between me and the building currently being turned into the Detroit safe house, but Kate has assured me it will be edited well to remove all trace of McIntyre and will be a positive advertisement for Ella's Lodge, while detailing my past and laying the blame for it squarely at McIntyre's door without naming him directly .

I settle myself behind my desk in my office at GEH and wait. Ana is here with me, as is Elliot and my parents are also present, and they all sit off camera waiting expectantly. Taylor is also present standing unobtrusively in the corner watching the proceedings with interest. I get a text from Gideon and I quickly look at it.

_**Good luck bro, let's bring him down!**_

I smile and quickly text him back.

_**Right back at you, let's do this thing!**_

I watch the live link from the studio, showing the activity in Detroit which is being streamed into my office, the programme's anchor introduces Kate and she starts to talk about the safe house project.

"Now we have an article detailing a local good news story. The renovation and rebuilding of Gateway House, the former slum housing and no go area of downtown Detroit is the talk of the city at the moment. The once infamous apartment block has been bought and is being renovated by billionaire Seattle businessman Christian Grey. We are delighted that Mr Grey has taken time out of his busy schedule to join us here today via satellite video link. Mr Grey, it is an honour to have you join us, thank you for your time today".

I lean forward in my seat, "It's my pleasure" I say and I smile widely.

I watch as the female anchor visibly gapes before pulling herself together. I glance at Ana who is rolling her eyes at the woman's reaction.

"Also joining us this afternoon is retired local business legend Harold McIntyre, welcome Mr McIntyre".

I watch as McIntyre nods he has a smug expression on his face and I smile, he has no fucking idea!

The anchor continues to speak, "and live from New York we are also highly honoured to have Gideon Cross joining us via satellite video link, hello Mr Cross it is an honour to have you join us here today, for our viewers wondering why not one but two of this country's most influential and wealthy businessmen are both here today, I'd like to introduce reporter Kate Kavanagh who has been finding out more about this story, over to you Kate".

I watch as Kate strolls purposely forward towards the camera and taking a seat, thanks the anchor woman politely.

"Good Afternoon Detroit. Gateway House, eyesore and infamous slum housing apartment block in downtown Seattle. That was until the building was bought by Seattle businessman Christian Grey. The vision is, this once no go area will become a refuge and safe haven for youngsters who have been physically and sexually abused. In partnership with the Crossroads Foundation founded by Gideon Cross in New York, Mr Cross and Mr Grey are hoping to provide shelter, help and counselling for young people who have nowhere else to turn. I am sure everyone will agree this is an admirable provision for the city of Detroit. Mr Cross what was your reaction when Mr Grey approached you offering you this building for your Safe House Project?"

I watch as Gideon appears on another screen.

"I was delighted, Christian knew I was in the process of establishing a similar safe house here in New York and as soon as he bought the building, he offered it to me as a Detroit branch and he has helped fund the renovations personally. I believe he is also looking at premises in Seattle for a branch in the North West, and we are hoping that will be just the start of what will eventually become a nationwide service for abused children and teenagers. Christian has been extremely supportive of this project and I am grateful for his input".

Kate nods and smiles and then continues.

"Thank you Mr Cross, now good news like this travels fast it seems, and it reached the ears of local retired businessman Harold McIntyre, who immediately came forward to offer financial support for the project. Mr McIntyre why did you offer assistance to this project, did your offer to help fund this project come from the fact your daughter Mrs Denise Jenkinson is the managing director and co-ordinator of the Detroit safe house project?"

I watch as McIntyre's eyes widen considerably, but he recovers and shakes his head, "No not at all, it is a worthwhile project which I felt deserved my patronage," he says tightly.

Kate smiles sweetly at him, "That's really great Mr McIntyre. Tell me, how did you find out about this?" She asks.

He smiles, "I have a number of business contacts in the city and I was told that the building had been bought and I made enquiries from there," he says.

"Did your interest in the project have anything to do with the fact this Detroit Safe house is being named after your sadly deceased daughter, Ella McIntyre?" Kate asks.

I watch as he blanches and shakes his head, "I had no idea it was," he stammers.

Kate raises her eyebrows dramatically, and I struggle to keep my face neutral at her expression and McIntyre's reaction.

"Oh I see. Yes, it going to be called Ella's Lodge" she turns to Gideon, "Did you pick the name Ella's Lodge Mr Cross or was it Mr Grey's idea?" Kate asks innocently.

I am now desperately trying to keep a straight face, as Kate is playing a blinder.

Gideon smiles widely, "No, I believe Denise was responsible for the naming of the property" he says.

Kate turns to the camera, "Well, perhaps we can find out firsthand the reasons behind that decision as we are also very lucky to have Mrs Denise Jenkinson join us here today".

Kate gestures towards the side of the stage and Denise appears. McIntyre looks like he is going to expire, I just hope Denise can hold it together and not get intimidated by her father. She nervously looks towards the screen showing Gideon and she smiles and greets him then turns to the one showing me and greets me warmly. Then she takes a deep breath and she turns and walks up to her father and kisses him on the cheek. I can't help but notice McIntyre can't even look at her, but she is killing it out there I have never seen her so confident and self assured.

Elliot leans forward and whispers to me, and I place my hand over my mic so his voice doesn't get picked up.

"Kate has been coaching her, she said she was a bag of nerves and intimidated by the just the mention of her father's name but Kate has worked with her and I think she has done a good job!"

She has, but I don't make any reaction to Elliot's comment.

"Good Afternoon Mrs Jenkinson, and thank you for taking the time to talk to us today, perhaps you could tell us a little about this project, and how you became involved with it?" Kate asks.

Denise sits down and smiles at Kate.

"Thank you for inviting me here today, I was delighted to be asked to oversee the renovations to Gateway House, and be appointed co-ordinator of Ella's Lodge" Denise says.

She pauses and then clasping her hands begins to speak, "As soon as I was asked by Christian and Gideon to take this role and the project was explained to me, I didn't hesitate to accept. Gideon has been very kind, giving me carte blanche to do what I wanted with the building and extremely generous, giving me a blank cheque to work with. I am determined to make a success of this not only to prove Gideon and Christian were right to have the confidence in me, but in memory of my sister Ella whose name I used, as she died in that very building".

Kate reaches out and grips Denise's hand.

"Oh that is terrible, thank you for sharing what is clearly a very personal matter, so this is a project very close to your heart with that link. Let's bring in Mr Grey here, Mr Grey can you tell us your reasons behind this very philanthropic gesture?" she says.

"I certainly can, it is no secret that I was born in Detroit, before I was adopted and I was found in that very building at the age of four years old beside the body of my dead mother" I say.

Kate looks at me, "Oh my goodness so this is a very personal project for you as well, that is an amazing coincidence, Mrs Jenkinson's sister found dead there and Mr Grey found with his dead mother in the same building?" she says.

I nod, "it is also now public knowledge that I recently discovered that I was related to Gideon Cross, and I felt that his safe house project was such a wonderful idea that I offered him the building to use as he saw fit, as I believed under the umbrella of his Crossroads foundation, there would be more chance of reaching a greater number of people" I say.

"I see, so you say you and Mr Cross are related? May I ask how?" Kate asks.

I nod once more, "You may, he is my brother. We have different mothers but we share a father, the Detroit businessman the late Joel Cross, he abandoned my mother when she discovered she was pregnant with me, and it appears he also had a relationship with Gideon's mother around the same time" I say.

"Wow, that is some story" Kate says, "Thank you Mr Grey for sharing that with us," she adds.

She returns her attention to Denise, "May I ask how you came to be chosen to do this, we have established that this brilliant cause has very personal meaning both to you and to Mr Grey, did you divulge the fact your sister lived and died in the building and did that have any bearing on Mr Grey's and Mr Cross's decision to hire you?" Kate says.

I lean forward slightly this is it, I am willing Denise to keep her nerve. I know if she chokes Kate will turn to me, we agreed this so I wait to see if she speaks out, I watch as McIntyre sits silently glaring at his daughter and trying to intimidate her into silence. Denise doesn't even look at him and she looks directly at Kate, a determined expression on her face.

"Christian told me he had bought the building and what he was planning to do with it, originally he had planned to tear it down, due to the horrific memories the place held for him, but we all talked it over and we came up with the idea to offer it Gideon for his project and he decided that it was a better idea to turn those negative memories and events into a positive and make the building somewhere safe for children and teenagers who needed help and so he contacted Gideon to offer the building to his project".

Kate smiles "It sounds incredible that you managed to influence the decision of the Christian Grey, can I ask how you managed to achieve that?" Kate asks.

I watch McIntyre shuffle uncomfortably in his seat, but he continues to glare at Denise. I hold my breath, this is it. I am willing Denise to do this, slap that man down and gain her own closure against her bullying father.

"Well first of all I can't take all the credit for that, as it was Christian's wife Ana who came up with the idea to offer it to Gideon, but it is an incredible story. I was visiting my sister Ella's grave a while ago, and standing there laying flowers was Christian Grey and his lovely wife Ana, I instantly recognised him from the TV and I asked him what on earth he was doing at my sisters grave, and he explained to me that Ella was his biological mother". There are audible gasps around the studio at this revelation.

Kate pretends to look shocked, and god damn it that woman deserves an Oscar for her performance.

"So you are saying Christian Grey is your biological nephew?" Kate says.

Denise nods and smiles at me "That is correct" she says.

"Wait? Did you not know that your sister had a son?" Kate asks innocently.

That's does it, and I watch as McIntyre can take no more, he leaps to his feet, pointing at Denise.

"You will not speak another word" he says viciously.

Denise ignores him completely and turns to Kate, "Yes I did, I knew Ella had died and I knew she had left a son and I searched for him for eleven years. All I was able to establish was that he was adopted by a doctor who worked at the big Detroit hospital. Before Christian was adopted, my father was approached by Child Services as Christian's biological family and asked if he wanted to claim and raise her son. My mother wanted to take Christian and raise him herself, but my father refused. He had disowned Ella when she announced she was pregnant, and he made it very clear he didn't want her son in his home. I was also disowned when he discovered that I was in contact with Ella while she was alive".

Denise takes a shot look at her father and then turns to the screen showing me and I smile reassuringly at her, this may be a bogus interview but you could hear a pin drop in that studio.

Kate turns to McIntyre, her gaze steely, "So Mr McIntyre was this gesture of financially supporting Ella's Lodge an apology, and offer of reconciliation showing your regret for your earlier actions of denying your grandson?"

McIntyre just glares at Kate, "This interview is over, I withdraw my patronage and I have no regrets, Ella made her bed. I told her not to get involved with Cross but she disobeyed me so I washed my hands of her and her child was none of my concern".

He points at Denise and carries on with his rant, "She kept in contact with her disgrace of a sister and her bastard child against my wishes. I told her she was to have nothing to do with them and she disobeyed me as well".

Once again there are gasps around the studio. Here in my office my mother and Ana have both gasped at McIntyre's rant, and if there was any thought in my mother's mind that McIntyre must have some redeeming characteristics, they have now been totally erased by his outburst.

Kate just stares calmly at McIntyre, "Well if that is the case Mr McIntyre and you feel so strongly about it, can you explain why you have been so keen to link yourself with Mr Grey and Mr Cross in this project, was it done with genuine intentions of reconciliation or was it merely a calculated move on your part to capitalise on the fact your grandson had grown up and become a powerful wealthy businessman in his own right, with immense influence throughout the United States? Are you looking for forgiveness for your earlier actions or are you just looking for the public notoriety of being biologically related to Christian Grey?"

McIntyre opens and shuts his mouth he realises he has been cornered "This interview is over!" he bellows and storms away.

Kate hugs Denise tightly, and then turns to the screens, "I think that's a wrap!" she says with a grin.

"Thank you for doing this Gideon" she adds as she looks at my brother.

"No problem" is the immediate reply, and then Kate turns to me.

"Well I think that was pretty conclusive, don't you think Christian?" she says.

"I would say so, thank you all for doing this, shall we get the proper interview promoting Ella's house finished now?"

We all quickly take our places and do the promotional piece to be screened later in the week. Kate asks a few more questions and brings Gideon in more to talk about his reasons for setting up this project and to our surprise, Gideon talks of the abuse he suffered and how he lived alone with it for years and how he doesn't want other children in that position to have to do that. It is very moving to listen to, even though we have heard this story now many times.

Kate tells us that the final edited version will be sent to both Gideon and I for screening before it is aired and I will receive a full uncensored version for insurance purposes, should McIntyre try anything else, then that is it – we did it.

The link is severed with Detroit and I sit back in my chair feeling satisfied with the result. My phone rings and I pick it up.

"Mr Grey I have Mr McIntyre on line one for you" Andrea says and I grin widely.

"Put him through" I say, I put the call on speaker so everyone in the room can listen in.

As the call is connected I lean towards my phone, "Grandpa were you happy with that, I was very pleased with that interview and delighted with the outcome!" I say sarcastically.

"You conned me Grey" he spits down the line.

"No I didn't, if anything you conned me. You were trying to get access to me and link yourself to me by going public after I expressly told you I wanted nothing to do with you. I just made sure your true colours were shown and your real intentions exposed, and with the help of _my family_ I believe I managed that pretty comprehensively, don't you!?" I say coldly.

"How did you ...?" he begins.

"Oh Harold, may I call you Harold? Well I'm going to call you Harold whether you like it or not. Your first mistake was you lied to me. You called trying to make out you were remorseful and wanted forgiveness. Let me make myself clear, nobody lies to me and gets away with it. Then your second mistake was that you harassed my wife, now I am very protective of my wife Harold and when you did that… well, that severely pissed me off. However, my wife is a very astute woman and she told you where to go and exactly what she thought of you, didn't she? Don't try to deny it Harold, I was there when you called her and I heard what she said to you. My favourite part was when she called you a vile, selfish and manipulative man. So now two people have told you no, which I can appreciate is not something you are used to. So your final mistake was you decided to try and corner me by going public yourself, and linking yourself to me that way. You did this by cashing in on your acquaintance with Ken Kavanagh but what you fail to realise is, I have just a little bit more influence than you do now, and Kavanagh wasn't about to piss me off by airing an interview with you which concerned me without running it past me first. So he contacted me and told me what you had requested and I have to say he was pretty angry when he discovered that you had used him". I pause and I hear Ana giggle.

"Oh one other small thing, you should really do your homework before accepting an interview with Kavanagh's daughter. I mean it is common knowledge she is my brother's girlfriend. I hope you have learnt from this Harold. I will not be manipulated, I will not be forced to do anything I don't want to do, and I certainly will not have my family harassed and I will not stand for anyone trying to use my name and what I have built through my own hard work for their own personal gain. You are a reprehensible despicable man, and I have proved that fact comprehensively today. However, if you decide to try anything else in the future I can and will expose you by using the full interview which was recorded today. So now you can go and crawl back under whatever stone you came out of or you can fight me some more, it's your choice but believe me when I say it's not a fight you will win, it's not a fight you will ever win, so I suggest you give it up now".

I stop and look around, everyone in the room is staring at me with their mouths wide open. I wait for a response, but there is a click and the line goes dead.

"I guess I have my answer" I say smugly.

I turn to Taylor, "I want tabs kept on him so I can keep one step ahead of him should he decide to try anything else" I say and Taylor nods.

Ana comes over and I pull her into my lap, "I don't think you'll be hearing from him again" she says, "His ego was hurt too much to go through something like that again," she adds.


	80. Chapter 80

CHAPTER 80

One week later, I am sitting having dinner with my family at our home on the sound. The events of the past week now considered over.

Kate had returned with copies of the interview, the full uncensored version of McIntyre spectacularly losing it on camera, which was put straight into my safe and the edited version which was beautifully done and publicises Ella's House well.

Ken Kavanagh has assured me that it will be shown on the evening news tonight in Detroit, and it will also be aired in New York, and here in Seattle, so we are getting the word out about this project quite comprehensively.

As we are sitting around the table, I notice Elliot looking anxious and nervous. I watch him as he checks his pocket several times. My parents are holding court and my mother is telling everyone how proud she is of us all, and what we have accomplished in our lives as usual.

When she pauses Elliot stands up.

"I would like to say a few words" he says.

All attention turns to him, and he throws back his glass of wine. I quickly refill it for him and wait.

He reaches for Kate's hand, "I think we can all agree Kate was magnificent last week in Detroit when she did her part for my brother, getting his own back on that fucking asshole McIntyre..."

"Elliot!" my mother warns.

"Sorry mom, on that not very nice person McIntyre" he says with a grin and we all laugh.

"Anyway, Kate you know I love you with all my heart, you are bright, self assured and damn loyal so because I am in total awe of you, not to mention totally in love with you, I don't want to ever let you go, so..".

We all gasp as he pulls a ring box from his pocket, and Mia squeals clapping her hands excitedly.

We watch as he drops to one knee in front of Kate and grasping her hand tightly he places a soft kiss on her knuckles, "Will you marry me Kate?" he asks.

Ana has gripped my hand and I look at my wife who is watching her friend with bated breath. I think of my two proposals to Ana, the hurriedly done one with no former preparation or big romantic gesture in the garden of the restaurant we went to, and then the over the top one in the Caribbean at the Crosswinds resort when I had a do over and had arranged for the wedding to be there and then.

I remember how afterwards when we were on honeymoon and Ana had asked me why I'd wanted a do over and I had explained that I felt my first proposal had been done on the hoof and to me hadn't seemed romantic enough, it was then I realised how wonderful my wife was when she had admitted she had still found the first proposal more romantic in a way for its simplicity and lack of big gesture, it was just the two of us in a beautiful setting and the words I had spoken from my heart although my family had joined us at the end.

She had quickly assured me that she had found the surprise wedding wonderful as well and everything a girl could wish for but that had made me stop and think, my wife liked the simple things in life and it was the little things that gave her the most pleasure and since then despite my unending desire to give her the moon and stars, I know it's the small gestures she appreciates more.

My thoughts return to my brother, I did have an idea that he was going to do this soon, he has been talking for a while about marrying Kate and how she is the one. He is talking with Gideon who has commissioned his building company to fly out to New York to do the necessary alterations to Vidal Manor for the conversion from family home to public building, this is a massive project for him and so he is seriously thinking about his future. He knows I will hire him for any building work when I find a suitable building for the Seattle Branch.

My attention is brought back to the room with cheers and clapping and I realise Kate has agreed. I stand and walk over to them. Ana is hugging Kate tightly and examining the ring and Elliot is beaming brightly. I walk up to him and shake his hand, pulling him into a hug.

"Congratulations, way to go Lelliot" I whisper in his ear and he looks at me in surprise, and return's the hug warmly.

"Thanks Christian," he whispers in my ear.

My whole family are overjoyed and are milling around offering congratulations and my mother is in her element with this latest development. As we are settling back down again my phone buzzes and I look and see it is Gideon, so I quickly answer.

"Gideon, how are you?" I ask.

"Has Elliot asked her yet, has she said yes?" he asks excitedly.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking!" I say with good natured sarcasm.

"Sorry bro, I was just wondering if Elliot had done the deed!" Gideon asks.

"Yes just a few moments ago, wait a moment how did you know?" I ask.

"I was talking to Elliot last night and he let slip that he was asking her today at a family dinner at your place, I have tried to get him on his cell but it's switched off" he says.

I laugh, "Wait a moment" I say, and look up.

"Elliot, you have a call. Switch your damn phone on will you, I'm not your fucking secretary".

I immediately have my mother saying my name warningly as I am holding up my cell phone, Elliot looks up in surprise and takes my phone from me, glancing at the screen his face breaks into a smile.

"Yo Gideon, yeah… of course she did… I will… thanks a lot bro... really? Wow that is so generous of you, I am speechless… I don't know what to say… I'll talk to Kate and get back to you, but thank you, yeah bye bro," he hangs up and hands me back my phone.

"You'll never believe what he just offered? When I marry Kate he will give us use of any of his hotels, anywhere in the world to marry and then stay in for the honeymoon, can you believe that!?" Elliot says.

Everyone gasps in surprise at the generous offer, but I am not shocked. Gideon is like me, he takes care of his family and those who he loves, and as far as he is concerned when he gained me as a brother he got Elliot as well.

As we all retake our seats I stand up and tap my glass. "Well I'd like to say a few words if I may, warmest congratulations to you Elliot and Kate on this wonderful news, as a family we have a lot to look forward to. Our baby is due in just eight weeks time, and then we have Ana and Gideon's joint birthday celebration here where Gideon and Eva are renewing their wedding vows here on our beach and now another family wedding in the not too distant future".

I raise my glass, "I think the only toast I can possibly give to all this wonderful news is... to family!"

"To family" everyone repeats.

**oooOOOooo**

The weeks pass and Elliot and Kate throw themselves into wedding planning, they have set the date for May next year, although the choice of venue still appears to be unclear, with some debate over where they are going to tie the knot.

Elliot has been backwards and forwards to New York overseeing the work on Vidal Manor. Gideon and I have been talking regularly on the phone and I have flown out on a few occasions to New York to see the work for myself. The renovation work on Ella's Lodge in Detroit is nearing completion and hopefully the official opening will be quite shortly. We already have a long list of people who have contacted Denise looking for help, and Gideon has flown staff from the Crossroads Foundation in and they have been on the ground in Detroit doing the much needed and very necessary work, helping these children.

As we approach the beginning of August I am getting more and more jittery about Ana and the baby, she is enormous now but I learnt very quickly that saying something like that isn't the best thing to say to a hormonal pregnant woman. I had commented flippantly on Ana's baby bump a couple of weeks ago and her eyes had immediately filled with tears and I had spent the rest of the day reassuring her that she was still beautiful and in no way fat.

My mother had rebuked me telling me that at this stage of pregnancy women are uncomfortable and just want the baby out. They feel large, unattractive and vulnerable. I had argued that I found Ana more beautiful than ever, so visibly pregnant with my child, but my mother had informed me that I just needed to be tactful whenever I mentioned the size of my wife.

Another bone of contention has been Ana's insistence at working right up to the last moment. I want her to give it up, but Ana has assured me she isn't overdoing things and that she is winding down and has been for a while, with the aim of finishing work completely in early August. I'm not happy about it, but I do know Ana won't do anything to harm our baby, so I keep my opinions to myself.

I am sitting in my office, I have just had a particularly irritating meeting with my project managers and Ros and I am now in a bad mood.

My phone buzzes and I answer it without looking at the screen.

"Grey" I snap.

"Christian?"

The voice of my wife coming to my ears soothes me and my bad mood evaporates immediately.

"Ana" I say. "What can I do for you baby?" I ask.

"Nothing, I was just reminding you about our hospital appointment later" she says. I smile and assure her I hadn't forgotten. We see Dr Green weekly now we are on the home strait; this reassures me tremendously that all is well with our daughter.

**oooOOOooo**

I meet Ana for lunch as is our custom now. I think back to my life before Ana, I would do nothing but work the entire time I was at Grey House, I would arrive sometimes before the sun rose and stay well into the evening, and lunch breaks were just another time to have more meetings. Now I don't arrive before 8:30 in a morning and my lunch breaks are my time with my wife and I never stay any later than 7 o clock in the evening.

As I approach my wife's office, I hear raised voices and I pause to listen. Ana is berating someone, I have never heard her reprimand anyone before and I listen carefully. It appears this person has missed a number of deadlines and Ana is sick of their excuses. I smile as I listen, I don't disturb her as this is her business, although I do have to hold myself back when I hear the person tell her that he isn't going to be told what to do by a slip of a girl.

Ana immediately comes back with that, although that is his prerogative but if he feels he can't work with her then she will terminate his contract with Grey Publishing and sue him for the advance on his book. She tells him he will find it very difficult to get another publishing house to take him on because they will call her to discover why his contract was terminated. I hear the discussion continue for a few more moments and I can't control myself any longer. I stride towards Ana's office and open her door, she looks up immediately and smiles when she sees me.

"Christian, I didn't realise it was that time already" she says.

She introduces the man sitting in front of her, who gone very quiet since I walked into the room, as one of her authors. The man stands and assures Ana he will get the missing chapters to her by the end of this week.

"Well, this is your final warning, I have been more than fair with you" Ana says firmly.

With that the man nods and retreats from her office.

"Ready baby?" I ask.

Ana nods at me and reaches for her jacket and purse. As she turns towards me she pauses and puts her hand on her stomach.

"What is it?" I ask suddenly panicked.

"Nothing, just our daughter getting comfortable," she replies with a smile, "she has been pretty active today and I'm sure she is protesting about the lack of space in there," she says with a grin.

I watch her closely but accept her explanation.

After lunch we head straight to the hospital and Ana mentions to Dr Green the twinges she is getting, as another one happens while we are there.

Dr Green examines her and declares these are Braxton Hicks contractions, I panic as soon as I hear the word contractions but Dr Green reassures me and explains it is like false contractions, preparing Ana's body for the real thing.

Ana is given a clean bill of health, her blood pressure is ideal, the baby is healthy and a good size and everything is going according to the proverbial text book so all we have to do is wait.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later..._

Today is the official opening of Ella's Lodge in Detroit, I am incredibly nervous about leaving Ana to go to the opening, Ana has now finally given up work, keeping to her word that she would give up at the beginning of August.

I was hoping that the official opening of Ella's Lodge wouldn't be until after the baby was born but the building is ready and the demand is sadly so great we have needed to bring it forward. So today August 12th is the grand opening. I am in Detroit, but my phone is switched on and my anxiety spikes every time I get a call.

The baby is due in just over a fortnight on the 30th, but considering Eva went into labour three weeks early, I am less than happy at being this far away from my wife. Gideon has flown in from New York and he going to handle the press and everything after the official ribbon cutting part, as he knows that I really don't want to be here. Denise is also here and she is trying to keep me calm.

The actual ceremony goes without a hitch, and I watch proudly as Denise gives a speech, detailing how personal this is for her. I say a few words and finally Gideon takes my place and begins to speak.

When all of the formalities are over, I head over to Gideon and shake his hand.

"Are you sure you are ok dealing with all this?" I ask.

He smiles and nods, "Yes, you get back to Seattle to Ana. I would never forgive myself if you missed the birth of your own child, after what you did for me" he says.

I nod, "When are you next coming to Seattle?" I ask.

I watch him think for a moment, "In a couple of weeks to see the premises for the Seattle Safe house. Elliot wants to go through a few details with me. He said he has spoken to you, and you okayed it, but I think I'd like to cast my eye over what is going on," he says.

"So much for launching all three safe houses at the same time, I had no idea the demand would be so high," I say.

"Yes it's quite disturbingly sad when you think about it," he replies.

We wrap up our conversation and I slip away to my car and head back to the airport, as I am boarding my phone rings and I look and I immediately panic when I see Ana's name on the screen.

"Ana, baby are you alright, are you in labour?" I ask as I answer.

"Christian calm down, I'm fine nothing is happening, I'm sorry I didn't think, I should have realised if you saw a call from me you'd think the worst. I'm calling because my dad is ill and I'm heading to Montesano with Luke, and I didn't want you to worry if you got back and I wasn't at home" she says.

"Ana is that wise?" I ask immediately thinking all sorts of scenarios.

"Christian I will be fine; Luke is with me, women have babies all the time and they carry on normal lives right up to the birth so please stop worrying" she sounds a little pissed so I don't push my luck.

"Ok baby, but keep Luke close, I am leaving Detroit now and I'll call you when I land" I say.

I board my plane and start the journey home back to Seattle.

**(ANA)**

The drive to Montesano is straight forward and we make good time. I was worried when I spoke to my father on the phone and he told me he wasn't well and was in bed, as my dad never takes to his bed and I deduced from that he must be seriously ill. When I arrive at my father's house and I let myself in the house is quiet and still.

"DADDY!" I call anxiously.

"I'M IN HERE ANNIE, BUT DON'T COME IN!" I hear my father's voice and I head towards it.

I follow the voice to my father's bedroom. I open the door and as I do so, he puts up his hand.

"Annie don't come in, I don't want you getting sick," I look at Luke pleadingly and he walks into the room and examines my father I watch as he glances at his arm.

"How did you do this Mr Steele?" he asks carefully.

My father glances at his arm, "Oh I just burnt myself its nothing" he says, Luke takes a shot look at me and then returns to my father.

"Mr Steele, do you feel dizzy especially when you try to stand? Luke asks, my father nods, "have you been feeling shivery and hot and then cold?" my father nods, "have you been vomiting or had diarrhoea?" once again my father nods, Luke looks carefully at him and then asks my father if he has a thermometer.

My father tells him there is one in the medicine box in the kitchen, I immediately go and fetch it, when I return with it Luke takes it from me and takes my father's temperature, when he looks his eyes widen in shock.

"Mr Steele we need to get you to a hospital right now, you have a temperature of 105 o F which is dangerously high".

I immediately reach for my phone and call Grace, she answers almost immediately and I quickly outline the details of what I have heard.

"Ana you need to get him to hospital immediately, that sounds to me he has septicaemia, which is blood poisoning which from what you have said probably originated from the burn on his arm. I will call ahead to the hospital and alert them of your arrival, so they are expecting you and I will meet you there," she says.

I hang up and turn to my father, "Dad, I have spoken to Grace and she thinks you may have…"

"Septicaemia?" Luke interrupts, and I nod.

"Yeah that was my initial thought. I'm not a doctor but I saw it many times when I was in the military, from infected wounds" he says but says no more and I wonder what other unspeakable things he had witnessed in his time in the military.

I call an ambulance and I close my eyes as I name drop who I am. I hate cashing in on Christian's name, wealth and influence but if it helps my father I will put aside my principals. It seems to work and when I say where I am and the necessity for speed. I am told the air ambulance will be sent to our location immediately. I relay this to Luke who immediately heads outside to check out a viable landing site.

He returns and tells me there should be no problem for the helicopter to land as we are in a pretty rural location and as we are talking I hear a helicopter approach. Luke leaves me and runs outside, I follow and see Luke at the SUV pulling out what appears to be a flare and standing in the open ground opposite my father's house and holds the beacon and waves it.

The helicopter immediately heads towards us and lands. The paramedics leaping out ducking under the rotor blades before the helicopter has even properly landed. I watch as Luke relays information and they rush inside. I stand feeling totally helpless as I watch them tend to my father, one of the paramedics approaches me with a clipboard and he looks slightly embarrassed.

"Mrs Grey, does Mr Steele have Medical Insurance?" he asks.

My mind immediately flies back to when Hyde ran my father off the road and was in hospital and Christian yelled at the last person who spoke to us about my father's medical insurance or lack of it at that time.

I nod, "My husband sorted it out for him, he should be adequately covered," I say quietly.

The man nods and quickly scribbles something before returning to the others, who are tending to my father. I watch as they move him to the helicopter and Luke approaches me.

"Mrs Grey we need to get going now to get to the hospital. I'll send a text to T which he'll get as soon as they land, and he can tell Mr Grey and take him to the hospital when they get back, they won't let you fly with your dad in the helicopter in your condition I'm afraid".

"Thank you Luke, my dad is going to be ok isn't he?" I ask.

"He's in good hands Mrs Grey" he says kindly.

I secure my father's house and head to the car, the helicopter has gone and we make our way back to Seattle. My anxiety levels are rising throughout the journey as I start to think the worst and I hope and pray that we got to my dad in time. When we arrive and I make my way to my father I find Grace is sitting him and he is fast asleep and I smile gratefully at her for putting herself out for him. She smiles kindly at me as Luke and I enter, she stands and pulls me into her arms, which immediately reassures me.

"He's going to be ok. He's in a pretty sorry state and I won't lie, it's a good job you got there when you did but he is responding well to treatment. He has severe septicaemia which the doctors believe originated from that burn on his arm," she says.

"Thank you" I say, Grace looks at me carefully.

"Come on and sit down Ana" she says and leads me to a seat.

I sit down beside him, he is hooked up to a drip and I gently take his hand, the offending burn on his arm has been cleaned and dressed and I take his hand and just sit silently holding it. I have no idea how long I am there, Luke keeps bringing me drinks and asking if I need anything. The only things I want are for my father to get well and for my husband to arrive. As I think about Christian it is almost as if I have conjured him up as I hear voices in the corridor and look around to see Christian striding towards me closely followed by Jason.

"Hi Baby, how is he?" he asks as he walks towards me.

I quickly outline everything that has happened and Christian pulls up a seat and sits down beside me, he wraps his arm around me and he presses a kiss to my temple.

"Are you ok?" he asks looking at me with a concerned expression.

I nod and smile at him, "I'm fine honestly" I say.

I look at him he looks worried and tired, "How did the opening of Ella's Lodge go?" I ask.

He smiles, "Very well, not that I was there long, but Gideon was staying to do all the media stuff, he is coming to Seattle in a couple of weeks to check out the Seattle safe house" he says.

I nod I rest my head on his shoulder, I am also feeling quite tired now.

"Come on baby, let me take you home, you can't do any more here," Christian urges, and I nod and give in without a fight I feel exhausted.

As I let go of my father's hand he rouses and opens his eyes. He looks startled when he sees Christian.

"Hello son what are you doing here, I thought you were in Detroit?" he asks.

Christian smiles, "I was, and now I'm here, but then again it is nearly 8:30 in the evening" he says glancing at his watch, I am surprised by that fact as I had no idea it was so late.

My dad immediately looks at me, "Get yourself home Annie, you have to rest, I'll be fine here" he says.

I nod, "I'm going, I glad you woke up before I went though".

I lean down and kiss his cheek. "Get well soon dad, I'll be back tomorrow ok?" I say.

Ray nods at me and Christian takes my hand and leads me away.

**oooOOOooo**

My father makes a good recovery, and a few days later he is discharged and Luke and I are there to take him home.

Christian is at work, he is planning on taking paternity leave for a month when the baby is born so he is up to his neck at work getting everything in order so he can happily take that much time off. I pointed out to him that he was away longer than that when he was in hospital after the Charlie Tango crash, but he retorted with the fact he was working during that time, he had his laptop and was in constant contact with Ros, but this time he is planning on focussing totally on me and the baby, and only taking urgent calls from GEH.

We get to my father's house and settle him in. I make him some dinner and put some ready-made dinners in his freezer which Gail had made up for him. When I feel that we have done all we can I sit down in the chair next to him.

"You need to go home Annie and rest, you look exhausted," my father says quietly.

I wave him off dismissively but he shakes his head.

"No you listen to me, get yourself home and rest, you are due to have that grandbaby of mine any time and I really don't want you running about after me, I'll be fine now, and I'm sorry I put you to so much bother" he says.

I stare at him incredulously, the man who has always been my rock, the only stable influence in my life for all of my life. How could he ever think he was burden to me?

"You could never be a bother dad" I say sternly to him, "You have been there for me my entire life, if I can't return the favour every now and again it's a poor show" I add.

My dad smiles at me and shakes his head, "Ok, I'm not arguing with you Annie, but please, you know how Christian worries about you, please go on now, get yourself home," he says.

I give in and heaving myself out of the chair I lean down and wrap my arms around his neck, and press a kiss to his head.

"I'll call you when I get home ok," I say.

Ray nods and Luke and I say our goodbyes and climb into the SUV. As we are driving back to Seattle the sky clouds over and it starts to rain heavily.

"It's more like October out there," Luke comments as he switches on his headlights, I have noticed the wind has also got up and I look out of the window.

"It's pretty wild out there," I agree.

I am feeling tired and I close my eyes, the next thing I realise I am wide awake and something isn't right.

"Luke" I call, there is no answer and I look around. It is then I realise we not moving, I look out the window and I see that we are not on the road, but in some sort of ditch. I look and see Luke is unconscious, I move and I again feel a pain, I quickly check myself, I am not injured but I am wet, very wet, oh shit!

I fumble in my purse and get my cell phone, praying I will have enough battery life and signal to call Christian. As the call connects I sigh with relief, it barely rings as Christian answers immediately.

"Ana, where the fuck are you? Why isn't Sawyer answering his phone?" my husband's frantic voice comes down the line to me, before I have chance to open my mouth.

"Christian listen to me and calm down, there has been an accident, I fell asleep but I just woke up and we are off the road, I have no idea where we are. Luke is unconscious and I think I am in labour," I say.

"FUCK!" comes the anguished shout, and then I hear Christian bellowing for Taylor.

Moments later I hear Taylor's calm voice, "Calm down please sir and give me the phone and let me speak to Mrs Grey" he says.

I wait and then I hear Jason's kind voice "Mrs Grey, listen to me I need to you look in Luke's inside pocket for his cell phone and when you have it you need to make sure it is switched on for me. I can't seem to locate and trace your cell phone at the moment... wait no I have it, I've got it, right forget that, you say Luke is unconscious?"

"Yes" I say quietly, I am worrying now as I don't know where we are and I am in labour, I am worrying that Luke is badly hurt, I am going to have this baby here alone in this ditch and I am also worrying about what all this will do to Christian.

"And you are in labour, have your waters broken?" he asks.

"I think so, I'm very wet and I'm getting pains" I say and I cringe at the sound of my voice.

"Ok, stay calm we are on our way, I have your location and I am calling an ambulance right now".

I hear scuffling and then I hear Christian's voice.

"Baby, I'm coming ok, hang on, I love you" he says. I feel myself calm at that but I can also hear the anguish in his voice and I try and reassure him as well as myself.

"Calm down Christian, I'm fine, just please tell Taylor to drive carefully, it's terrible out here," I say.


	81. Chapter 81

CHAPTER 81

I am sitting in the car, I have no idea where I am, but I am talking to my husband and I feel comforted by this fact alone. He is talking to me and reassuring me that they and an ambulance are on their way to me.

"You are not that far from home baby, only about an hour away, if that" he says, but I can hear the fear in his voice as he tries to reassure me. I realise he is probably trying to reassure himself more than me that everything is going to be ok.

"Ok" I say quietly, I feel another contraction and breathe deeply.

"Baby, what's happening, was that a contraction?" Christian asks anxiously.

"Yes it was, but don't panic, they are about 20 minutes apart if not a bit longer" I say. I am now feeling oddly calm. Talking to Christian and having him on the line with me and knowing that he is coming has reassured me and made me relax.

I don't know how long I sit there but Christian stays with me on the phone, and every few moments he asks me if the ambulance has arrived yet, and he has just asked me this again as I see flashing lights approaching.

"Christian I think the ambulance has arrived" I say.

"Taylor, Ana thinks the ambulance has arrived" I hear him relay.

Moments later my door opens and a young man appears at my side, "Mrs Grey?" he asks.

I nod, "Please take care of Luke" I say pointing to the unconscious man in the front.

I see two more paramedic arrive and open Luke's door and carefully extract him from the car. I watch as they load him into the ambulance, and then they carefully help me into the back of the ambulance.

I hand my phone to the paramedic as Christian is insisting on speaking to them and I give him an apologetic look as I do so.

I vaguely hear the paramedic reassuring him and telling him we are heading to Seattle hospital, and to meet us there. I am not really paying attention to what is going on around me as I can't take my eyes off of Luke.

"Is he ok?" I ask a paramedic who is tending to him. I look up suddenly as the other paramedic says my name, he hands me my phone back, and I take it from him with a word of thanks.

I return to the one helping Luke and he smiles reassuringly.

"All his vitals are good" he says.

As he says this there is a groan from the trolley which focuses our attention. I stand and lean towards Luke, and grip his hand.

"Luke are you alright?" I ask.

"Mrs Grey? Are you ok, a branch came down and I swerved to miss it and..." he says groggily.

"Sshh it's ok, we are in an ambulance heading for Seattle hospital, Jason and Christian are on their way there" I say.

Luke tries to move and I press a hand to his shoulder, "Stay still and don't worry, everything will be... Oh" I grip Luke's shoulder as another contraction grips me.

"Mrs Grey what's happening?" Luke says anxiously.

"I'm fine" I gasp, "just stay still" I say.

"Mrs Grey are you in labour?" Luke asks me.

I pause, "Yes I am, but don't worry about me, I have hours yet" I say.

I return to my seat and I hear my phone buzzing again, I pull it out and smile.

"I'm fine Christian we will soon be at the hospital" I say by way of greeting.

"Ok baby, I just needed to call you again, I just need to talk to you, to reassure myself you and the baby are really ok" he says.

I know this is probably killing him as he knows I'm in trouble but he can't get to me. "Christian, just calm down I'm fine, nothing bad is going to happen to me or the baby, we are in an ambulance full of medical personnel, Luke has just woken up, he said it was a falling branch, it fell off in the storm and he swerved to miss it and I guess he lost control or something" I say.

I hear him relay this to Taylor, who I hear say something in response, but I can't quite catch what it is.

Christian doesn't hang up on me and talks to me all the way to the hospital, reassuring me everything is ok, when in reality I know he is only saying it to reassure himself. I get a running commentary of where they are and then he tells me they have arrived at the hospital and are waiting for us to arrive, as he says this ambulance stops.

"I think we have arrived too" I say as I feel the ambulance come to a halt.

Luke is wheeled out first and as the doors open I see my frantic husband, he leaps into the ambulance and crouches beside me, wrapping me in his arms and kissing me repeatedly. He runs his hands all over me and visually checks me from head to toe, satisfying himself that I am unhurt.

A wheelchair appears, and I am wheeled into the hospital and taken to the maternity unit where Dr Green is waiting for us. I am given a thorough check for injury from the accident despite my insistence that I am unhurt, and then Dr Green examines me and tells me I am 4cm dilated and that I have quite a long way to go, while Christian is pacing like a lion asking questions and demanding information.

Dr Green reassures him that everything is normal and all we can do now is wait and baby Grey will appear when she is good and ready.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I am pacing around the hospital room, I am consumed with a strange array of emotions all conflicting and I am not coping with any of them very well.

The main one is relief that Ana and the baby are both alright after the crash. Excitement and joy that my daughter's birth is imminent with tinge of apprehension at the birth and hope that everything goes to plan yet my over riding emotion is fear. I am absolutely fucking terrified, fear in case anything goes wrong, fear that something will be wrong with my daughter, fear something will happen to Ana and fear about impeding fatherhood. This is it, and I have no idea how I am going to be a father and a father to a little girl at that.

All I know is I will call on my experiences with Carrick, although we knocked heads regularly as I was growing up, he loved me because he wanted to, he _chose_ me as his son. He didn't love me out of paternal responsibility; he was there for me because he chose to be. He wanted the job as my father. Then I think of my biological father the man who abandoned me before I was even born, the man who denied me and refused to accept any accountability for me whatsoever.

I vow here and now I will not be anything like him, nor will I be like my maternal grandfather, a tyrant who disowned his own children purely because they didn't agree with his way of thinking. No matter what the future brings my daughter will know that her daddy loves her unconditionally... daddy? that word still has the power to make my knees weak and my hands tremble.

I look at Ana who is progressing with her labour... slowly. This is another thing I can't get my head around, everything moved so fast with Eva, when she had her baby. Obviously I have no idea how long she was in labour on the bathroom floor, before I arrived but we have been here for what feels like an eternity and there is still no sign of a baby. I put this to Dr Green who appears to give Ana another examination and she smiles patiently at me.

"Every birth is different Mr Grey, just because your sister in law's labour and birth experience was incredibly short and quick, doesn't mean every birth will be the same. I have dealt with some women who have been in labour for up to 48 hours before giving birth.

Forty eight hours! I stare at her in horror at these words, and she quickly reassures me.

"I really don't think Mrs Grey will go that long though," she says kindly.

I mutter a word of thanks and she leaves us alone, I sit down beside Ana and take her hand in mine. I watch as she gets another contraction. She isn't complaining, crying or making a fuss, she is stoically just dealing with it as she deals with everything. She has refused any form of pain relief and is determined to go as long as she can without anything. It kills me to see her in pain, knowing I am responsible for it. I was the one who begged her to try for another baby. I push the negativity from my head and concentrate on the joy of this and being a supportive husband for my wife.

As I sit there my mind wanders and goes back to the events of earlier this evening...

_"TAYLOR!" I yell._

_I am worried, Ana should be back by now, I called Ray and he told me they left Montesano hours ago, there has been a vicious storm raging all afternoon and I can't help but imagine the worst. I have tried to call Ana but she isn't answering which is making me more worried not to mention incredibly pissed._

_I see Jason Taylor appear at my door, "Where the fuck are they?" I ask._

_"Taylor shakes his head, "I'm sorry sir I have tried several times to contact Luke but he's just not answering, I have tried to call and track Mrs Grey's cell phone but with this storm its making things difficult, and I'm unable to get a lock on her location and she isn't answering either. I tried using Luke's cell but for security reasons his cell is untraceable which doesn't exactly help us at this point, until I can get hold of one of them and get him to remove the block on his phone there isn't a lot we can do"._

_I stare at Taylor I am rapidly getting to the point of ignoring his advice to stay put and just getting in my car and going and looking for her myself, as I decide that this is what I am going to do my cell phone buzzes, I pull it out and look at it, relief washes over me as I see Ana's name._

_"IT'S ANA!" I yell._

_I quickly answer the call, "Ana, where the fuck are you? Why isn't Sawyer answering his phone?" I say as a way of greeting. _

_I immediately regret my tone and what I have just said to her. I pause and take a deep breath, cut it out Grey, she doesn't need this, and I try and get hold of my out of control panic, telling myself she is alive because she is calling me._

_I hear her shaky voice on the other end, "Christian listen to me and calm down, there has been an accident, I fell asleep but I just woke up and we are off the road, I have no idea where we are, Luke is unconscious and I think I am in labour". _

_My panic spikes at these words and I grip my hair, oh god no, don't let anything happen to them._

_"FUCK" I yell, as my fear consumes me, I quickly try and get a grip of myself and think clearly, but all I can think of is getting to Ana and I look around wildly for Taylor._

_"TAYLOR GET HERE NOW" I bellow._

_Where the fuck has he gone, he was here a second ago? I see Taylor appear and I quickly relay what Ana told me, I am pacing and waving my phone about and generally behaving like a deranged lunatic but I just can't help it. Taylor calmly walks up to me his hand outstretched._

_"Find her Jason, just fucking find her, she's in labour she's having the baby!" I rant._

_"Calm down please sir and give me the phone and let me speak to Mrs Grey" he says firmly._

_This seems to calm me slightly and I obediently hand the phone over and try to calm down, but all I can think of is Ana possibly hurt and alone in pain and it destroys me. I listen to the conversation and Jason pulls out his cell phone. _

_He looks at me, "I can't get a trace on Mrs Grey's phone, I am going ask her to get hold of Luke's phone and release the location block and see if I can trace that" he explains to me I nod and watch as he looks at his own cell phone while talking into mine to Ana. _

_I listen to the conversation "Mrs Grey, listen to me I need to you look in Luke's inside pocket for his cell phone and when you have it you need to make sure it is switched on for me, I can't seem to locate and trace your cell phone at the moment". _

_Suddenly he's eyes widen, "...wait no I have it, I've got it, right forget that, you say Luke is unconscious?" he says._

_I watch as he asks numerous other questions and I watch as he puts down his cell and reaches into his pocket for a third phone and dials for an ambulance, he hands me back my phone and I hear him giving the co-ordinates of where Ana and Luke are and calmly telling them the situation. _

_I am trying to reassure Ana that everything will be ok and that we are on our way to her but I think I am trying to convince myself more. I stay on the phone to her, I need this connection to her to keep myself calm and reassure myself that she is ok and I know Ana probably appreciates it too..._

"Christian" I am pulled from my thoughts by Ana speaking.

"What is it?" I ask my attention focussing back on the here and now.

"I feel the need to push" she says, looking at me. Her face is flushed and sweaty and she is in obvious pain.

I leap to my feet, "Ok hang on baby", I say and I press the button. A nurse comes in and Ana tells her she is getting the urge to push, and moments later Dr Green appears, along with several other members of staff and after examining Ana carefully she smiles.

"Ok Mrs Grey, you are 10cm dilated its time to get this show on the road, on your next contraction I want you to push hard ok".

Ana nods and I move around to wrap my arm around her and support her through this, after seeing what Eva went through I am scared, fucking scared but I try and put that to one side Ana needs me and I need to be there for her.

**(ANA)**

"Ok Mrs Grey, you are 10cm dilated, its time to get this show on the road, on your next contraction I want you to push hard ok" Dr Green says to me, I nod, this is it.

I sit up slightly and Christian manoeuvres himself to wrap his arm around me, I look at him, he looks terrified, I can see the fear in his eyes even though he is desperately trying to hide it.

My mind suddenly reminds me of our son who I lost, I push these thoughts from my head, as I try and focus on the job in hand then I think of my own mother, I wonder what my own birth was like and what she was thinking at this point.

I try and rid my mind of these errant thoughts this isn't the time or place, I need to concentrate and I need to get my baby born. I give Christian another glance and he smiles at me reassuringly and it gives me strength.

The room fills with people and I follow Dr Green's instructions and I push.

This is it, I am going to be a mother that thought urges me on and gives me strength as I push for all I am worth to get our baby out.

I hear Christian telling me I am doing brilliantly and how proud he is of me. I can also hear in his voice how scared he is and how he is trying to hide it, I keep looking up him and our eyes meet and I smile.

He manages to give me a weak smile and grips my hand tighter as another contraction hits me. The pain is bad, I refused an epidural and I have to say I am kind of regretting that decision at this moment, but I have no time for self pity and I continue to push hard.

"You are doing so well baby," Christian says to me.

"Ok Mrs Grey, I can see the baby's head, the baby is crowning now" Dr Green says, I see Christian look down at me and I see wonder gradually erasing the fear in his eyes.

"I can see her baby, I can see her, come on Ana you can do this, you are doing so well" he encourages.

I concentrate and I push. I focus completely on the job in hand and I push, I feel a burning sensation and the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life, I can't help it I scream out as I push.

"That's good Mrs Grey the head is out, I need you to push again to get this baby free ok".

I nod and push and once again, the burning sensation makes me scream in pain, I grip Christian's hand and I push, sweat is dripping from me and I feel Christian with a damp towel gently wiping my face.

I hear Dr Green telling me what to do and I follow her instructions.

Then I hear it, a baby's cry. I gasp as I hear it the tears falling down my cheeks… that's my baby, I did it.

"Is she ok?" I ask trying to look.

"She's here, you did it! Baby you were brilliant" Christian says to me and I can hear the emotion in his voice as he holds me tightly and repeatedly kisses me.

I watch as Christian cuts the cord and the baby is put into a towel and placed in my arms, and as I wrap my arms around her I get my first glimpse of our daughter. The emotions I feel as I stare down at the wriggling crying baby are indescribable; tears are flowing freely as I gaze at our daughter.

The overwhelming feelings of maternal love I am experiencing at this moment consume me, I am lost for words. I feel Christian holding us close and his hand rests on mine as he peers down at our daughter.

I look up at Christian and I see he is crying.

"Thank you baby," he whispers to me.

I move slightly and look at Christian questioningly, "Hey daddy, do you want to meet your daughter properly?" I ask offering her to him.

I watch as he smiles and nods as he takes her from me.

"Hey princess, I'm your daddy" he says.

I watch him protectively holding his daughter and then as the baby is taken from him to be weighed and cleaned, I watch as Christian reluctantly gives her up and then instinctively follows and watches the medical staff like a hawk, whilst asking questions and checking everything is as it should be and as I see him I smile because I know from what I am seeing, that he is going to be an excellent father.

I am exhausted but I am also buzzing. I feed my daughter with a little help from a nurse; she latches on immediately and sucks contentedly. I stare at her listening to her little grunts as she feeds from me.

As I am feeding her, Christian is on his phone informing the world his daughter has been born and there is no longer worry and fear in his tone. Now there is only joy and pure pride and I smile at him as I listen to him speak.

He calls Grace and Carrick and asks his mother to come to the hospital to check his daughter. I knew he would ask this as he needs his mother's reassurance that his daughter is perfect. I hear him talk to Elliot and Gideon and he laughs freely, I wonder what has been said but when I hear him tell Elliot to fuck off I realise he must have said something rude. He calls Sam in his PR department and tells him to release the prepared statement and then finally he calls Ray, for the second time tonight. He had called him earlier to let him know I had been found, was safe and unhurt and that I was in labour and he promised to let him know as soon as the baby had been born.

"Ray, it's Christian, you are now officially a grandfather" he says with a grin.

I watch as my father is obviously asking questions.

"Mother and baby doing fine, it was quite a long labour, but Ana was magnificent, and our daughter was born about half an hour ago. She was a good weight as well, 6 pounds 9 ounces and she is absolutely perfect".

Christian glances at me, "She is I'll hand you over, thank you Ray".

He hands me his phone, I have finished feeding our daughter and so I do Christian a swap, I take his phone and give him his daughter.

"Daddy" I say.

"Annie, congratulations are you alright?" my father asks.

"Daddy everything is fine, honestly. Christian was wonderful, and everything went really well" I say.

"I'm so pleased. How is Luke? Christian told me earlier he had been hurt in the accident, I am so sorry Annie, if I hadn't been so stupid and got myself ill he wouldn't have got hurt and you would have been at home safe," he says.

I shake my head, "Stop it daddy, Luke is going to be fine and everyone is alright" I say.

We talk for a while longer and then I yawn and Ray tells me to get some rest, we bring our conversation to a close and after I have said my goodbyes, I hand the phone back to Christian and I feel my eyes closing.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

As I sit here with my daughter in my arms and I glance at my wife and I see that Ana has given it up, she has closed her eyes and she has fallen fast asleep. I smile I am so proud of her and what she went through to bring this little mite into the world.

Then I realise that I am totally alone with my daughter, and for a moment a frisson of panic goes through me at that thought. I look down at the baby in my arms, this little girl depends on me for her survival and that thought fucking terrifies me. Yes I can provide for her financially and materially, she will want for nothing in that respect, but can I give her everything she needs for her emotional welfare and development? I am only now getting my own shit together, thanks to Ana and I am 29 fucking years old.

I look once again at Ana; thank god our little girl has her as a mother. I know she will be a phenomenal mom and more importantly I know she won't allow me to be a shitty father.

There is a knock at the door and Taylor appears he is smiling widely at me.

"Congratulations Sir" he says quietly.

"Taylor come and see my daughter" I say proudly.

He walks towards me and looks at Ana as he walks up to me.

"How is Mrs Grey?" He asks.

"Exhausted, baby Grey here was over 6 pounds so as you can imagine it was hard work for her, but she was unbelievable, no fucking pain relief or anything she was a machine".

Taylor looks at me in surprise as I say this, then he comes closer and looks at my daughter.

"She is beautiful sir" he says.

I pause, thinking about what I am about to say, "Taylor, you have a daughter, what the fuck do you do with little girls?"

Taylor laughs, "Pretty much the same as what you do with little boys I imagine, you love them, protect them and you become the first man in their lives that they love and depend on. I don't mean that in a creepy way, but how you raise your little girl will have an impact because she will unconsciously pick a husband in the future who is like you. I read that shit somewhere when Sophie was a baby" he says.

I look at him in horror, "Fuck, if she picks a man like me I will just want to kill the fucker!" I say, and Taylor laughs.

"You have a few years yet before that happens but you'll do fine. You are a good man she could do a damn sight worse than you as a father," he says.

We both look around as the door opens and my parents are standing there, my dad looks tired and I feel bad about demanding my mother come to the hospital to check over my daughter.

Taylor excuses himself telling me that Luke is going to be fine and that Ryan is on the nightshift outside and that he will see me in the morning. He says goodnight to my mother and he leaves us.

My mother focuses completely on my daughter and makes a beeline for the baby in my arms and takes her from me without a word. I smile at her, this is a huge moment for her as she had long since accepted that she wouldn't get a grandchild from me at all, hell she assumed I was gay or celibate for a long time, so for me to provide her with her _first_ grandchild is monumental. My dad walks over and looks at the baby and a massive smile creeps over his face.

"She is beautiful Christian" he says hoarsely.

I have never seen my dad so emotional and its getting to me a little bit.

"She is" I reply.

I watch as my mother checks her over and I anxiously wait for her verdict.

"Well?" I ask nervously, and my mother looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"She is perfect Christian, absolutely perfect" she says.

I am relieved as I trust my mother's opinion.

She looks at Ana "Is Ana alright?" she asks.

I nod, "I was just telling Taylor, she was a machine. She went through the whole thing without any pain relief there was no complaint or anything she just got on with it. She is exhausted now which is only to be expected what she went through but she was really brilliant mom, she was so calm and composed. I was losing it, but she not only held it together and did what had to be done, but her whole demeanour calmed me down as well, I love her so much mom," I say and my mom sits beside me and folds me into her arms.

"I know you do Christian" she says.

My dad is holding my daughter now and he is gazing down at her with this ridiculous grin on his face.

"Have you two decided on a name yet?" he asks me.

I shake my head, "No, Ana refused to even consider it, let alone discuss it before she was born, I tried to broach the subject a few times but I could tell she was scared, she said that she didn't want to jinx anything after what happened with our son".

I look at my sleeping wife, "that affected her more than she has ever and will ever let on. I try to get her to talk to me about it, but she just tells me she is fine. She had a complete meltdown about it around the time in this pregnancy that she lost our son, but we got through it," I say

My mom smiles, "That's her way of coping with it Christian, she had bonded and was a mother to that little baby even though he was still inside her, she had a bond with him and then she lost him, so of course she is going to be terrified that something like that is going to happen again and in her mind making plans like picking a name for the new baby just opens up a huge amount of hurt and pain if the worst had happened again and by separating herself from that process, she was protecting herself from it".

I nod it makes sense, Flynn had said something similar when I had spoken to him about it.

My mom looks at me carefully, "You do know she still also feels an enormous amount of guilt for what happened. She still believes that she ignored all the warning signs and as a result of that the miscarriage was somehow her fault" she says.

I shake my head, "No I didn't, but it wasn't her fault if anything it was…" I stop as my mom interrupts me.

"No Christian it wasn't. It wasn't Ana's fault and it wasn't your fault. It was just one of those things, yes it could be argued what she went through when she was kidnapped played a role but the eventual outcome was something which sadly happens on occasions and is just one of those things".

I nod as I try and believe what she is telling me, when my attention focuses on my daughter. She starts grizzling and crying and my dad hands her over to me, almost immediately Ana opens her eyes, and gazes around the room, slightly startled by the people in here.

"Oh Grace, Carrick, I'm sorry I was asleep, Christian you should have woken me" she says.

My mom shakes her head, and folds Ana into her arms.

"Not at all, if he had done that I would have been furious with him. You need to get your rest and get your strength back, take every opportunity you can to sleep when this little angel is quiet," she says.

By this point our daughter is screaming blue murder and Ana takes her from me and starts undoing her top, my dad immediately looks embarrassed and heads for the door.

"I think we should get going Grace, it's late" he says, my mom nods and after giving Ana one last hug and stroking our daughter on the head, she hugs me and they leave.

As soon as they are gone, Ana starts nursing and quietly humming and rocking our daughter, she is a natural mom, and I can't take my eyes off her.

"Baby, I was wondering, can we talk about our daughter's name?" I ask carefully.

Ana looks up and smiles, "Yes, now she is here and everything is alright, there is nothing to jinx" she says.

"Did you have any names which you have a preference for?" I ask.

Ana looks at me and nods, "I have a few names I like which I stored away for when I was ready to discuss it with you. I'd like her to have Grace as one of her names it's a lovely name" she says. I nod, as I was going to ask her if we could have Grace.

Ana hesitates, "I also like your birth mom's name, Ella is a lovely name too" she says looking at me carefully.

My first reaction is to shake my head, I stare at her, "I'm not sure about that one baby," I say, "I have forgiven her and I realise now that she loved me but I'm not ready to name my daughter after her" I say carefully, Ana nods and smiles.

"That's ok" she says.

"I like lots of girls names, what do you like Christian?" she asks.

"Well... there was one name which I heard a few weeks ago and it stuck in my mind and I really liked it, and that was Phoebe" I say.

Ana smiles widely, "That's a lovely name, and different but not too different, yes I like that" she says.

I am delighted, "So, Phoebe Grace or Grace Phoebe?" I ask, Ana looks down at our daughter.

"I think she looks more like a Phoebe Grace" she says, and just like that we named our daughter.

After feeding Phoebe, and changing her diaper Ana places her back into my arms. "I'm going to take Grace's advice if you don't mind, and I am going to go to sleep" she says.

I nod, "That's fine baby, I'll try and get a couple of hours as well" I say.

Ana looks at me, "Why don't you go home, I'm sure that I have security here with me, we'll be fine?" she says.

I shake my head, "I'm not going anywhere baby" I say firmly.

Ana shakes her head and shrugs, "Suit yourself, but I don't want a cranky husband tomorrow," she says.

I chuckle, "No way baby, I'm too happy to be cranky" I say.

I hold my daughter into the small hours until I finally feel sleep catching up with me, I lay her in the crib and settle myself in the chair and shut my eyes.

Phoebe wakes us twice in the night which to my mind isn't that bad I was expecting much worse and Ana feeds her and changes her diaper.

I am awake and I glance at my watch it is nearly 7:30. Ana and Phoebe are both fast asleep and I decide to call Gideon, he should be up by now as New York are a few hours in front.

I have taken hundreds of photos of Phoebe and Ana and Phoebe on her own, and Ana took one of me holding her, and I took one of the three of us. I pick out the best one of Phoebe and I send it to Gideon, with a brief covering message.

_**Meet your niece - Miss Phoebe Grace Grey!**_

I send it and almost instantly my phone starts buzzing.

"Good morning Gideon" I whisper.

"Bro, she is beautiful!" he says by way of greeting.

"She is isn't she" I reply proudly, "and how's your little family?" I add.

"They are perfect. You know what Christian, I have never ever been this content and happy in my entire life" he says, and I smile as I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I know, I spent the night here in the hospital with Ana and Phoebe, I just couldn't bring myself to go home, I needed to be with them, do you get what I mean?" I say.

"Yeah I do, I felt like that as well" he says, "Anyway, how was the birth, did everything go ok?" he asks.

"Jeez Gideon, it was a nightmare yesterday, the birth was a walk in the park compared to what happened beforehand. Ray has been ill, he burnt himself and got septicaemia, he got discharged from the hospital yesterday and Ana went with Luke to help him get settled in back at home. Well they were returning to Seattle and we had this massive storm and about an hour outside Seattle a branch came down and ran them off the road. Luke got knocked unconscious, Ana thankfully was asleep in the back of the car and knew nothing about it. That is until she woke up because her waters had broken and she was in labour" I say.

"Fuck! What happened, are they ok?" Gideon asks his concern obvious.

"Luke has a concussion, and is still here somewhere in the hospital under observation, but as far as I've been told he is going to be ok. Ana was just supremely cool and calm. I was going out of my fucking mind because they weren't back, I'd called Ray and he said they'd left hours ago, so I tried calling Ana on her cell but obviously she was asleep and didn't hear it. Taylor was calling Luke but he was unconscious and not answering either. Because of the storm, it made life difficult tracing Ana's cell and Taylor couldn't get a lock on her location, just when I had decided I couldn't wait any longer and was going out to find her, Ana called me. Taylor managed to get a lock on her location, we called an ambulance and we set out to meet them. I stayed on the phone with Ana and we met the ambulance at the hospital. She was in labour but she just got on with it and she kept reassuring me she was fine and that she had plenty of time. I was a fucking mess though, then when we finally got here she was in labour for a couple more hours and then she finally gave birth, she was unreal Gideon, she had no pain relief she was just awesome".

"Wow, sounds fucking scary, but Ana and the baby were unhurt?" he asks.

"Yeah they were fine and the birth was pretty straightforward as well, which I am thankful for I don't think I would have survived it if anything had gone wrong. I got enough drama and worry when Eva gave birth, to last me a lifetime!" I say.

Gideon laughs, "You can say that again!" he agrees.

"Gideon, can I ask you something?" I say carefully.

"Sure, what's up?" he says.

"When you held your daughter for the first time and the realisation hit you that this little baby was totally dependent on you, did you… well, did you freak out at the thought? Because I did, I still have issues worrying whether or not I can be a good father. Ana has more faith in me than I have in myself, and Taylor said something to me which freaked me out even more and totally messed with my head. He said I will be the first man my daughter's life who she loves and trusts and he said he'd read somewhere that unconsciously in the future that her choice of men will be influenced by me, and that fucking scares the shit out of me" I say.

"Bro, I know exactly what you are saying. I had exactly the same fear, but Eva said something to me which was pretty fucking wise, and I'll tell you what she said. She said you can only do your best and as long as you love your daughter and she grows up knowing her daddy did the best he could, and loves her and will protect her and she feels stable and unconditionally loved and knows no matter what that her daddy has her back, you have done a good job".

I pause thinking about what he has just said.

"Thanks bro, that helps" I say.

"No problem, but I can see where you are coming from, hell if my daughter starts dating a guy who is anything like me, I'll just want to kill the fucker" he says.

I laugh, "I said the exact same thing to Taylor when he said that" I say, "Thanks bro" I add.

"No problem any time, and Christian, congratulations to you both!" he says.


	82. Chapter 82

CHAPTER 82

_Two weeks later..._

"So...what do you think?" I look questioningly at my brother as we walk around the house I bought here in Seattle for the Safe House.

Gideon has decided that they are all going to be called 'Ella's Lodge' with the name of the city they are situated in after the name. I am beyond touched that he made this decision, in honour of my birth mother. I asked him why and his reply had floored me, he had simply said that my mother had been treated appallingly by a Cross, and as a result of that my life had been affected and it was time that a Cross did something to acknowledge that wrong and do something about it.

"I can't fault it" he says as he looks around, "you have fulfilled the brief and then some, and Elliot has made it happen and I have to say that he worked wonders with Vidal Manor, and everything is ready for Ella's Lodge (New York) to be officially opened on time, the question now is do we open it now or wait till Seattle is ready?" he asks.

"I don't know, we are quite a way from being ready here, and it doesn't sit comfortably with me that we have this resource waiting and ready in New York and not use it" I say.

Gideon nods sadly, "Yes, we have had so many enquires, we are severely oversubscribed already, so that's decided then, we open New York at the end of September as planned and then open Seattle November time?" he asks.

I nod, "I think that would be best. I don't think that would be the end of it either, I have already had a call from the Governor of California and Texas expressing interest in helping set up an Ella's Lodge in those two states" I say.

Gideon agrees, "You too? I got a call from the Governor of Illinois asking much the same thing, I have a feeling the way this has taken off it will be a nationwide thing by the time we are finished", he says.

We walk back through the huge house which I bought and we head outside to the car where Taylor is waiting patiently, I look at Gideon and ask a question about something which has been bugging me since he and Eva arrived yesterday evening.

"Bro, tell me to mind my own business if you want but is... are... is everything ok between you and Eva?" I ask uncomfortably.

I had noticed a distinct atmosphere between my brother and his wife when they arrived. They have both been fine with me and Ana and Eva in particular has been talking with Ana quite a bit since they arrived and it bothered me, but I don't want to push my nose in where it's not wanted.

He looks at me and I see sadness in his eyes, "You noticed that? Yeah I fucked up," he says, my mind immediately starts working overtime wondering what he has done.

"What did you do?" I ask, "You didn't cheat on her did you?" I add.

"Fuck no!" he splutters, "No, I was trying to protect her, something happened and I didn't tell her about it. I tried to work it out by myself, but Eva found out and was furious that I had kept her in the dark".

I smile and shake my head, "I learnt the hard way about that too, NEVER ever keep your wife in the dark about anything, its fine for them not to tell you shit, but the minute you fail to tell them something which they think is important, fuck!"

I look at Gideon who smiles weakly at me. "What was it?" I ask.

"Corrine" he says with disgust.

"Fuck, I thought that issue had been dealt with and you'd put her in her place?" I ask.

"So did I, she turned up at the Crossfire under the pretence of congratulating us on Denise's birth, I mean if you want to do that send a fucking card, or a text. Plus it was weeks ago but she just turned up out of the blue a few days ago, she got past reception and managed to get up to my office and when I arrived she was there talking to Scott. I told her to leave straight away but then she also started whining about my mother, apparently she still talks to her and my mother has been complaining to her that she hasn't seen Denise. I mean do you seriously think I'd let her anywhere near my daughter? She started saying how Elizabeth is so upset that she hasn't seen her grand-daughter so she promised her she would talk to me and try and get me to see sense, can you believe that?! I got so fucking pissed with her, as if she has any influence whatsoever over me. I got rid of her eventually, but then the night before last Corrine rang the Penthouse and Eva answered and of course Corrine had to tell her she had seen me and since then I have been in the dog house for not saying anything. I told her everything when she came at me about it and that just made things worse, because apparently I was only telling her because I had been caught out. So I can't fucking win. I thought hormones calmed down after the baby had been born, but Eva is being god damn irrational about this," he says sadly.

I look at my brother sympathetically, I have no idea what to say or how to help.

"She'll come around" is all I say lamely to him.

When we get home, we walk in and see our wives feeding our daughters and I look at Gideon and we both smile widely, I'm pretty sure I am wearing the same ridiculously proud expression on my face as he is.

Ana looks up and returns my smile, my heart leaps and my breath catches as I see her.

"Hi baby" I say and immediately walk over to her and kiss her on the head, and I reach out and stroke Phoebe's head and then I turn to watch the interaction between Gideon and Eva closely I see Ana is also taking an interest and I guess Eva has been taking to her about their spat.

Gideon walks hesitantly towards Eva and bends to kiss her, "Have you had a good day Angel?" he asks warily.

I'm pretty sure he is expecting some sort of rebuff so when Eva lifts her head and returns the kiss and touches his cheek he looks taken aback.

I hear her whisper 'I'm sorry baby' to him and the relief and pure joy on his face is instant.

I watch as he takes Denise from Eva and the bottle and sits down beside her and he looks the picture of contentment feeding his daughter with his wife curled up at his side with her head on his shoulder.

I look at Ana with raised eyebrows and she just gives me a rather smug look. I know immediately they have talked about it and Ana has made Eva see sense.

"Are you three staying here or heading to your apartment in the city?" I ask, "not that I'm trying to get rid of you or anything" I add.

Gideon looks at Eva and she shrugs, "I don't mind" she says.

"Oh please stay," Ana pipes up, "it's so nice to talk to Eva and compare baby notes" she says.

Gideon looks at me, and I just shrug, "You know you are more than welcome to stay here" I say.

"Ok, we'll stay here" he says.

I'm guessing he was planning on going back to their apartment in Seattle in case they started arguing or something, so that there wasn't an atmosphere here, but now it looks like he is out the doghouse and everything looks to be ok he is happier about staying here.

Eva looks up at me, "I'm sorry if I created a bit of an atmosphere when we arrived," she says.

I wave my hand, "Don't mention it" I say.

Eva looks at Gideon and tucks her hand in his arm.

"I was so angry that Gideon didn't tell me he had seen Corrine; all sorts of things were going through my mind. I still have a load of baby weight to lose and I feel pretty vulnerable and unattractive at the moment, not that it's any excuse, but when I hear my husband has been with his ex fiancé and fails to tell me about it. Then she calls me up and brags about it, well it makes my mind go into overdrive, but after talking it through with Ana made me see that, that was probably what Corrine wanted to happen, and her plan all along – you know to make me feel jealous and worried".

She looks up at Gideon, "I'm sorry" she says.

"I was just trying to protect you Angel" he says quietly.

Eva smiles at him, "I realise that now, but seeing your ex and not telling me about it isn't a good move, just think how you would feel if I had seen Brett and not mentioned it to you," she says.

Gideon looks at her carefully, "Point taken," he replies.

"That's not going to happen obviously," Eva adds quickly.

We sit and talk until Gail comes to tell us dinner is ready, she looks at Gideon and grins. "It's your favourite," she says to him.

I watch my brother's face light up, "lasagne?!" he asks.

Gail nods and we all laugh at the childlike joy on his face.

**(ANA)**

I look around the dinner table everyone is in high spirits and the mood is light, I look at Eva and she is much happier now that we have talked. As soon as they arrived yesterday, we could tell something was wrong. When we met them at the airport and Eva barely looked at Gideon, let alone speak to him as they left the plane, at first I put it down to her probably being tired after the long flight but it became apparent very quickly that something was wrong.

I remember the events of the previous evening...

_Christian and I are waiting at the airport and we see the Cross Industries jet taxi to a halt, I immediately leave the car and walk slowly towards the plane where the steps are being brought up. _

_The doors open and I see Eva walking out first holding a baby carrier, she looks sombre as she walks down the steps carefully. She looks at me and smiles holding out her free arm to give me a one armed hug._

_"Ana it's great to see you" she says, but there is something forced about her tone, I don't say anything but I look in the carrier and gasp at the baby staring up at me._

_"Oh my god Eva, she is Gideon's double!" I gasp._

_"Isn't she just" she says._

_I look up at her and then towards Gideon who has appeared behind her, he looks miserable and appears to be distant, I know immediately something has happened. _

_I turn to Gideon and hug him._

_"Hi Ana" he says as he wraps his arms around me and presses a polite kiss to my cheek. _

_I feel Christian behind me, he is holding the baby carrier where Phoebe is peacefully sleeping and Eva immediately peers into it and a genuine bright smile fills her face._

_"Oh god look at her she is a sweetheart!" she says cooing over Phoebe. _

_She looks at me and grins. "Look at all that red hair" she says._

_I nod, "Yes my husband has definitely put his stamp all over her" I say, "Unfortunately it also appears our daughter has inherited his lack of patience and his temper as well, she won't be ignored!" I say with a grin._

_Gideon agrees to come to our house on the sound as he and Christian are having an early start in the morning, heading out to the outskirts of the city to see Seattle safe house. The car ride is uncomfortable to say the least, Eva and Gideon are obviously not speaking to each other and it feels awkward._

_When we arrive Gail appears and offers her congratulations and coos over Denise. Gideon and Christian disappear to Christian's office and I am left with Eva._

_"What's going on?" I ask her._

_Immediately tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head, "I'm tired Ana, and I don't want to talk about my husband tonight, we'll talk tomorrow I promise you but I think I'm just going to turn in tonight" she says._

_I nod and stroke her arm, and I can't help but wonder what Gideon has done._

_After an awkwardly quiet breakfast Gideon and Christian head off to the Safe House, they are meeting Elliot there and going over the plans and Gideon is seeing for himself the progress that has been made. I watch as Gideon leaves he looks longingly at Eva, he doesn't say a word though as he kisses her carefully and then presses a kiss to Denise's head. _

_I look at Christian and he discreetly shrugs._

_As Christian says goodbye to me I wrap my arm around him and whisper in his ear, "Talk to Gideon, find out what's wrong" I say, and he nods._

_"Bye baby, we'll try not to be too late back" he says, he kisses me soundly and gives Phoebe a sweet kiss before following Gideon out of the door. _

_As soon as they are gone I turn to Eva._

_"Ok, Eva spill!" I say firmly._

_Eva looks at me and once again tears appear in her eyes._

_"He saw Corrine and didn't tell me about it, I had to hear from her that my husband saw his ex fiancée at his office, when she called the apartment. He told me everything when I confronted him about it, but in a way that made it worse as he was only telling me because I had found out". _

_She stops and l look at her carefully._

_"What did Corrine want?" I ask, as I can't believe for one moment that Gideon was cheating on Eva and Eva confirms this by what she says next._

_"She was causing trouble again, Gideon said she said that she was there to congratulate us on Denise's birth but as soon as she got him alone she started going on about how upset Elizabeth was that she hadn't seen Denise and she had been talking to Corrine about it and Corrine had promised her that she would talk to Gideon". _

_Eva stops and looks at me, "what if he realises he would be better off with Corrine, I mean look at her then there is me, I am tired and grumpy all the time. I still have a baby belly along with more curves than I would like, I've never been his type what if he realises this?" _

_Eva stops speaking and she wipes away a tear which has escaped from her eye._

_I lean towards her, "Eva listen to me, I thought you two had got over this? You were completely solid and nobody was going to drive a wedge between you? You know Gideon adores you, you only have to look at him and see the way he gazes at you to see that, there is nobody else in the room when you are there, he can't take his eyes off you" I say. _

_Eva sniffs and looks dubiously at me, "I know but that was before I had the baby and was just a tired, grumpy old hag"._

_I sigh, "Eva, why do you think Corrine is doing what she is doing?" I ask as though I am speaking to a child._

_"Because she wants to get to Gideon" she says._

_"So... wouldn't it be reasonable to assume she would want to try and put a wedge between you and Gideon, so when she called the apartment and got you she would break her neck to tell you she had seen him, to try and make you feel vulnerable and cause problems between you and as far as I can see she has totally succeeded, so don't let her do this" I say._

_Eva thinks for a moment and her expression hardens, "Gideon said he threw her out of his office and he said that he was trying to protect me," she says._

_I nod, "and I believe that, he knows how you feel about Corrine, and my guess is he realised you would be upset and feel vulnerable, if you knew she had been at his office, because of how you are feeling at the moment since you had Denise. So to prevent you getting upset he thought it would be best if you didn't know about it, and while I agree with you that, that was the wrong decision I believe he did it with the right intentions. My guess is Corrine knew he would do this which is why she then called you because she knew it would cause trouble between you if she told you when he had failed to, and you fell straight into her trap Eva, you did exactly what she wanted you to do," I say._

_I see realisation dawning on Eva's face, "The fucking bitch" she says quietly, she looks at me, "do you think Gideon will forgive me I've been a complete bitch to him since Corrine called?" she says._

_I laugh, "Eva, Gideon will forgive you anything, he loves you so much. This is minor, just talk to him when they get back later, don't let Corrine come between you she isn't worth it, Gideon chose you, she's his ex for a reason"._

_Eva and I talk she tells me she had thought that Corrine and Elizabeth had been sorted out and resolved, I shake my head._

_"I don't think Corrine will ever give up" I say to her. _

_"You both just need to show a united front against her and not let her come between you, which you were doing until you had Denise and all your insecurities started raising their heads again. Elizabeth though is another matter; won't Gideon allow her to see Denise at all?" I ask._

_Eva shakes her head, "No, he has cut her off completely and refuses point blank to allow her anywhere near Denise" she says. "I support his decision, I mean we have all seen what a selfish piece of work she is, I feel uncomfortable allowing her near my daughter, but then again she is Gideon's mom despite her faults". _

_Eva looks at me and I can tell this is bothering her._

_"Why don't you talk to her directly?" I ask._

_Eva looks at me, "What do you mean?" she asks._

_"Call her, make sure Gideon is with you and you talk to Elizabeth, you tell her that Gideon has made the decision to cut her out of his life, explain that you as his wife support his decisions and tell her to stop sending Corrine to fight her battles for her," Eva looks as though she is planning something._

_"You might be on to something, I have had spats with her, but that has been when she has approached me in public, this would be different as I am making the move" she says._

My attention is brought back to the dinner table as I hear my name mentioned and I look to see Eva explaining to Gideon the idea we came up with about Eva calling Elizabeth, I watch as Gideon considers this.

"Alright" he says eventually, "I'm not sure it will do any good but I suppose anything is worth a try, but don't ask me to speak to her". he says.

After dinner we all sit in our huge sitting room and Eva pulls her phone from her pocket she has a determined look on her face and she makes the call to Elizabeth. She puts the call on speaker so we can all hear the conversation, Gideon sits beside her he is holding Denise on his lap tucked in one arm and has his other arm draped around Eva's shoulder.

We all sit quietly as the phone rings out.

"Hello" comes the unmistakably quiet voice of Elizabeth Cross.

"Elizabeth, it's Eva" Eva says politely.

"Oh, what do you want?" is the offhand and slightly suspicious response.

"I'm ringing you to ask nicely to stop trying to get Corrine to fight your battles for you, she called me the other night to tell me that you were pissed because Gideon won't let you see our daughter, she also accosted my husband at his office which he wasn't happy about. If you want to see your grand-daughter, bitching to other people is not going to help".

Eva stops and there is a silence for a moment.

"I'm sure, I don't know what you are talking about Eva," Elizabeth says.

"Eva rolls her eyes, "So Corrine is lying then?" she shoots back.

There is a slight pause and then Elizabeth speaks again, "I may have said I was a little upset that Gideon hadn't brought the baby to see me, but I certainly didn't ask her to go to any trouble for me" she says.

"Well she did, and in the process it pissed off Gideon severely. Can I ask you Elizabeth why Gideon should take our daughter to see you?" I ask.

"Well, he is my son and that is my first grandchild" she says.

"I see, well for you to have a son you need to have been a mother, and as far as Gideon is concerned, he doesn't have a mother and hasn't had one for many years".

We hear Elizabeth go to protest but Eva talks over her and continues with what she is saying.

"Before you start yelling at me, saying I have turned him against you that is totally his decision and I as his wife will honour that. This is why I am calling you now, as he doesn't want to. He was severely pissed that you got Corrine to speak to him and we talked about it and I suggested that you needed to be told, but he doesn't even want to speak to you which is why I am calling you now, to let you know what Gideon's wishes are. So in future please do not send his ex's on message runs for you and accept that through your actions you have lost your son". Eva stops speaking and waits.

"I see, is my son there now?" she asks there is a slight shake to her voice.

"You are on speaker and Gideon is here with me and listening" Eva says.

"Gideon please speak to me, don't be like this" comes the plea, we all look at Gideon who is shaking his head.

He leans forward, and taking the phone from Eva he speaks coldly into it.

"I have no mother" he says and hangs up.

We all stare at him, Eva shrugs, "Well you couldn't have made it clearer than that" she says.

Moments later Eva's phone rings again, she answers it and then immediately puts it on speaker.

"Elizabeth," she mouths to Gideon. We all watch him stiffen.

"What do you want now?" Eva asks.

"I just want you to know I accept Gideon's stance on this, I'm not happy about it and I believe if you hadn't dug up the past and stirred up things which should have been left buried then none of this would be happening" she says.

We watch as Gideon snatches the phone.

"You listen to me; Eva has helped me more in the short time I have known her than you ever helped me in my life. She saw what my past did to me every fucking night, she saw how it wasn't buried and forgotten for me, she saw how I relived that fucker abusing and raping me every fucking night in my dreams, and she wanted me to be healed because she believes me and she loves me, and slowly I am healing now. So don't you ever blame Eva for a god damn thing. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me and I thank god every fucking day that she is in my life, which is more than can be said for you, I have no mother. You are dead to me, goodbye".

He says and hangs up and then he blocks Elizabeth's number on Eva's phone and throws the cell on to the table.

"Well if she doesn't get the message now she never will" he says.

"What about Corrine?" I ask carefully, Gideon looks across at me and shrugs.

"I have informed security at the Crossfire that she doesn't get past the lobby, and I've blocked her number so she should get the message from that alone. If she doesn't I'll ask Angus to look into serving her with a restraining order" he says in a matter of fact tone.

"Well we have done all we can now," Eva says as she snuggles closer to Gideon.


	83. Chapter 83

CHAPTER 83

After the events of tonight, Christian decides that we need a distraction, so he goes to fetch the portrait picture which arrived the other day.

It is of Christian and me, when I was very pregnant. It is a beautiful photograph, which I know Christian has been eager to show off since it arrived.

"Is that the picture you had done as part of the package Ana and Eva ordered for our Christmas presents?" Gideon asks.

Christian nods. "I love it" he says.

"The photographer took some of Ana throughout her pregnancy, but they are for my eyes only, but this… I think it's beautiful," Christian says as he stares almost reverently at the picture.

I look at it, I must say I am more than happy with it, Christian will never show the other pictures of me that the photographer took as I am practically naked in them with only my stance and position of my arms hiding my modesty.

Christian had initially been uncomfortable with the idea but I had reassured him it was a female photographer and nobody would see them apart from the photographer, myself and Christian but he had insisted on being present throughout the series of shoots.

But this picture was a pleasure to do, my too handsome for his own good husband is wearing jeans and a white shirt and I am wearing a white sundress we are both barefoot and Christian is standing behind me with his hands on my huge bump, it is just beautiful the way the photographer has captured us looking down at my bump and the look of pure love on Christians face never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

"Did you get yours done?" I ask Eva.

She nods, "Yes, Gideon loves the photographs of me throughout the pregnancy, we didn't get one like this though, we had booked it but because Denise was early, it never happened. This is lovely Ana" she says.

"But we still have our family photograph now to be done" she adds.

Christian nods, "Yes we still have our family portrait to be done, hopefully we will get around to it soon" he says.

Gideon looks up, "We are looking forward to having ours done, she is a very talented photographer" he pauses as though he is thinking something and then looks at Christian.

"Would you consider having a photograph of all of us together done as I'd quite like that?" he asks warily.

Christian looks at Gideon and smiles, "why would you want me?" he asks.

Gideon shakes his head, not just you, you, Ana and Phoebe and if they are up for it I'd like to include Elliot, Mia, Kate, Grace and Carrick, I was also going to ask Chris, Christopher and Ireland if they would consider joining us for some.

I look at Gideon and I realise this is a big thing for him, "Why Gideon?" I ask carefully, he looks at me and what he says breaks my heart.

"I've never had a family, and I'd like some photographic evidence of the fact that I do now!" he says.

Christian swallows hard at this clearly moved by what Gideon has just said.

"Bro, I'd be honoured, I tell you what, why not arrange it for when everyone is here for the birthday party and your vow renewal, the whole family will be here then so it would be the perfect time, we could hire the photographer to take photographs of the vow renewal, and at the birthday party and then get her to set up her equipment and gets some family portrait shots, we could have them done on the beach beside the sound?" he suggests.

We watch as Gideon smiles widely and nod's enthusiastically at this, "That would be wonderful, thank you Christian" he says.

We are sorry to see Gideon, Eva and Denise leave the next day, but it won't be long until they are back with us as the joint birthday party and their wedding vow renewal is fast approaching, it is the 1st of September tomorrow so in exactly 10 days time we will be celebrating mine and Gideon's birthday and we will have a house full of family not only celebrating that but also Gideon and Eva's wedding vow renewal.

**oooOOOooo**

_Ten days later..._

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ana and Gideon, happy birthday to you!"

The loud chorus of happy birthday rings out and I glance at Gideon over the enormous cake between us, two tiers and covered in candles. I giggle as we struggle to blow out all the candles. A cheer goes up as all the candles are finally blown out.

Gideon grins widely as he looks at me and then the cake.

"Bro I hope you didn't slack off, you had far more candles to blow out than my wife, but I can't help but wonder that at your advanced age, you left it to Ana to blow them all out!" Christian says.

"Fuck off Christian!" Gideon says in a good natured manner with no malice.

"Gideon language" Grace says sharply and another laugh fills the room. Gideon has started calling Grace mom but in doing so she now feels it is her place and well within her rights to chastise him every time he curses, which he does frequently. Both he and Christian have potty mouths and Eva and I have told them to try and curb their language now that little ears are around listening and will soon be picking up everything that is said.

Gideon looks sheepishly at Grace, "Sorry mom" he mutters, this makes everyone laugh harder. Grace is the only person who can produce that look on his face, apart from Eva.

Christian has gone totally over the top with the birthday celebrations, he has gone all out. Everyone is here, Chris, Christopher and Ireland have flown in with Gideon, Eva and Denise from New York, Christian's Aunt Denise has flown in from Detroit to be here, my dad is here, and Gideon flew Eva's father – Victor in from California. All the Grey's are here of course, Grace and Carrick, Elliot, Mia and Kate it feels nice, I know Gideon is having the time of his life, he and Eva are renewing their wedding vows tomorrow and Eva's mother and step father are flying in for that, but today is all about our birthdays.

Gideon comes to me and wraps his arm around me and kisses my forehead.

"Thank you for sharing your birthday celebrations with me" he says quietly to me, it makes me a little sad that he still feels the need to say these sorts of things as if he has no right to have a celebration.

"Gideon, don't be silly, it was inconceivable we wouldn't celebrate together when share the same birthday" I say to him.

I wrap my arm around his neck and kiss his cheek, and I feel Christian pull me away gently.

"Hey bro, go and fondle your own wife" he says.

The party continues, I find myself surrounded by Kate, Mia and Ireland.

"So, what did Christian buy you?" Mia asks bluntly.

I shake my head, "I don't know, he hasn't given me anything yet" I say.

Mia looks shocked, "Surely he has bought you something?" she says incredulously.

I stare at her, "Mia, to be perfectly honest with you, I wouldn't mind if he hadn't, I am more than happy with my life, I don't need _things _to be happy," I say.

"But it's your birthday!" Mia protests, she has totally missed the point of what I was saying.

Both Gideon and I have done very well gift wise from everyone else, I have mainly received practical things from our family, as they all know I'm not comfortable with material things, but I do have a weakness for Spa days, which hasn't gone unnoticed.

I received a spa day at my favourite spa from Kate and Elliot, and Gideon and Eva gave me an all expenses paid trip including flight and accommodation to one of his health spa's in New York. I intend to use that the next time Christian and I are in New York. Both Aunt Denise and my father bought me book vouchers to buy myself books of my choice.

Mia gave me an obscenely large gift certificate for Neiman's to buy whatever I wanted along with a Gucci handbag which I had seen and mentioned that I liked. Grace and Carrick gave us an all expenses paid weekend away with the promise of when we use it that they will baby sit for us for the duration of our time away.

Ireland, Chris and Christopher got me a personal cooking course with Arnoldo Ricci – Gideon's friend. I was delighted with this, as cooking is one of my passions and even Eva's father Victor gave me a gift, which I wasn't expecting at all. Gideon was hard to buy for and everyone had difficulty in wondering what to get the man who has everything, and the resources to buy the world!

Christian and I decided that hosting the party and the vow renewal would be our gift along with the photographic shoot which Gideon wanted and we could tell he was more than happy with that.

"Ana baby, it's time for me to give you your gift," Christian calls which draws me from my thoughts.

I look around and Christian is holding out his hand to me and grinning inanely. He looks ridiculously pleased with himself and I wonder just how over the top he has gone this time. I walk over to him and he pulls his silver grey tie from his pocket and his eyebrows raise, I gasp and feel myself go red.

He chuckles and covers my eyes, this reminds of when he took me to the Caribbean when he arranged the wedding, and I wonder just what he is doing. I feel myself being led outside, I cling to Christian's arm terrified that I am going to trip, but he leads me holding me firmly.

We stop suddenly and he removes the blindfold, and kissing me on the cheek he whispers "happy birthday baby" in my ear.

I hear the gasps and look, my mouth drops open, sitting on the driveway is a beautiful car, I stare at it, it looks like Christian's R8 but its a different colour, shit he hasn't?

"You bought me an Audi R8?" I stammer staring at him as if he is crazy.

He nods at me, "Do you like it?" he asks.

"Thank you Christian, but you are so over the top!" I say.

He wraps his arms around me holding me tightly. We return inside and I am still a little taken aback at Christian's extravagant gift.

Everyone has a wonderful time, the photographer is discreetly in the background taking unstaged candid shots of everyone. This is the brief for her for both today and tomorrow, we want lots of happy relaxed family photographs, she was delighted by the beach and that is where we will be doing the staged photo shoot after the vow renewal tomorrow. I just hope the weather is kind, Christian has arranged marquee's and gazebo's in case the weather decides to be bad, today has been pretty overcast with the odd shower and so we are not confident, but Gideon and Eva are happy with the precautions that have been taken for their special day.

Towards the end of the evening all the men are pretty drunk, and everyone is in stitches watching them. Mia had arranged for a karaoke machine to be brought in as entertainment. Christian wasn't impressed to begin with, but the more he had to drink the more he warmed to the idea.

Grace and Carrick had a go, they were the good sports who went first and they sang a beautiful duet. Mia and Ireland had a go and then not to be outdone by their little sisters Gideon had pulled Christian on stage to sing a duet with him they had looked at each other and then at us before singing a song which we recognised instantly as soon as it started, it was 'A Better Man' by Thunder and everyone was silent as their gorgeous voices rang out. Grace was moved to tears and Eva and I gripped each others hand as we listened to our husband's message to us.

There was an awkward and upsetting moment about half way through the evening. Gideon was well on his way to being totally drunk when he received a call from his mother, he scowled at his phone and dismissed it, and moments later a text came through from Elizabeth wishing him a happy birthday, in the intoxicated state he was in he immediately went into a tailspin. Eva tried to help him and Chris and Christian both went to him, but he shook himself free from them and stormed out of his seat and went to the karaoke and grabbing the mic and setting up a song, the room went deathly quiet wondering what on earth he was going to do.

Turning to everyone he slurred "This is dedicated to my mom who has just called to wish me a happy fucking birthday".

The unmistakably angry lyrics of the Five Finger Death Punch song 'The Devil's Own' start and he viciously shouts the words out. Eva starts to cry and Chris shakes his head. Nobody is sure what to do, eventually the song ends and Gideon stares at everyone and seems to realise what he has just done.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he mutters and looks around looking lost.

Before Eva can get to him, Grace is up on the makeshift stage gently taking the mic from his hand and wrapping her arms around him, and leading him away. We watch as she talks gently to him, and strokes his face. He is listening and nodding at her. Chris goes to join them and puts his arm around Gideon. After a short while Gideon returns to his seat and pulls Eva close, he smiles awkwardly at everyone and mutters an embarrassed apology. Nobody says anything about his actions and we are all thinking he probably won't even remember it in the morning.

Eva and I were persuaded to sing, but we warned everyone that it wouldn't be pretty as we both know that singing isn't something we should ever do. We managed to warble our way through a totally ruined rendition of the Beatles classic 'Love Me Do', telling our husbands how much we love them, we saw it and both agreed that it was perfect and easy and short enough for us to try and get through without inflicting too much pain on everyone.

Everyone was practically crying with laughter or maybe anguish when we finally finished destroying it. Everyone was also crying but these were emotional tears at a duet which Chris and Carrick sang, it was clearly a message to their sons, I watch Elliot, Christopher, Gideon and Christian listening to them sing a beautiful rendition of U2's 'Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own'.

Elliot was a scream, he spent more time on the karaoke than everyone else, he did a duet with Kate which made us all laugh, it was the Meatloaf song 'I would do anything for love', Elliot sang the majority of the lyrics with Kate singing the 'but I won't do that' line, which sums up their relationship totally. Kate is the one in charge. He then sang on his own, catastrophically bad versions of 'The Great Pretender' and 'My Way' he was so over the top probably because he too was rather drunk by this point, and now he, Christian, Gideon and Christopher are all up there leaning on one another staggering about and swaying and belting out the Queen classic 'We are the Champions'.

Its cringe-worthy, it's corny in the extreme, its beyond cheesy but seeing them like this especially Gideon and Christian, just letting go and acting their age is surprisingly heart warming not to mention extremely funny because I doubt any of them will actually remember much of it tomorrow.

As we watch them Eva whispers in my ear.

"I think we are going to be dealing with some epic hangovers in the morning, what time are we renewing our vows?" she says.

I laugh, "Oh they'll be fine by the afternoon, the minister isn't arriving until 3 o'clock they have plenty of time to recover" I say.

I have been recording the spectacle in front of me on my phone to show Christian tomorrow as he will never believe me unless I have evidence of what he is doing.

"It's good seeing them so carefree and happy isn't it?" Eva adds.

I nod, "It is" I agree.

Our attention returns to the men in a huddle, The song has ended and Gideon is keeping them all there on stage and pointing at a song on the list, swaying with the amount of alcohol they have consumed and Gideon is persuading them to sing another song, there are nods of agreement between the four men and after a moment of fumbling a song comes through the speaker and Gideon gestures to Eva to join him and Christian calls out to me, and Elliot shouts Mia and Kate, Christopher calls out to Ireland and eventually we are all up crammed around the microphones belting out 'We are family'.

Gideon and Christian are so drunk but they still manage to change the lyrics and sing 'I have my brothers and sisters with me', it is out of tune out of time and really, really bad, but nobody seems to care.

Eventually the night comes to an end and we put our intoxicated husbands to bed, which isn't as easy as it sounds, they are both big men and both Eva and I are both petite, but with help from Angus, Taylor, Chris and Carrick we manage to get them both to bed. We leave them in their clothes as they have both passed out before we can undress them. Kate and Grace manhandle Elliot to bed and I smile as I hear Kate's stern words as she puts him to bed.

The next morning I am up showered and dressed and I have just finished feeding Phoebe when I hear a knock at the bedroom door and I open it to see Jason standing there grinning.

"Jason, what's wrong?" I ask.

He shakes his head and hands me a small bottle, "Nothing, Angus gave me this for Mr Grey, he says it's a hangover cure which he believes he will need, he has one for Gideon, Elliot and Christopher as well" he says.

I look at him and the amusement on his face he is obviously enjoying this moment as Christian doesn't get drunk very often, as he hates the lack of control and last night was the first time I have ever seen him get quite so destroyed.

I open the door slightly and show Taylor the prostrate form of my sleeping husband who is still snoring loudly in the clothes he was wearing the previous night.

"Thank you Jason, I'll give it to him when he wakes, thank Angus for me" I say, and with a nod Jason disappears.

I decide to head downstairs for breakfast when I arrive in the kitchen it is buzzing with activity. Eva is there eating breakfast, Mia, Ireland, Grace and Gail are milling around preparing themselves something to eat and Carrick and Chris are in deep conversation at the table while drinking coffee.

As I walk in everyone greets me.

Eva grins at me, "No Christian?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No he's still out for the count, what about Gideon?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "Not a peep, he was so wasted last night he didn't even wake when Denise started to cry, and he always gets up with me to her, but he hasn't surfaced yet, he rarely gets that out of control," she says.

I nod in agreement, "Neither did Christian, when Phoebe woke for a night feed he didn't even stir" I say.

The kitchen door opens and Kate appears grinning she looks around.

"It's hangover central in our room this morning!" she says with more than a hint of gloating to her tone. "Angus gave El a bottle of something this morning and said to take it and he would feel better, but so far I think he is still suffering!" she adds.

Christopher is the next to arrive, he looks pale but not too ill, and he smiles politely and helps himself to some orange juice and toast.

Chris looks up at his son and smiles, "Feeling rough son?" he asks.

Christopher nods, "A little, I feel better than I deserve to after the amount I drank last night, but my guess is I feel a damn sight better than Christian and Gideon will when they wake up, and Elliot for that matter, they were all wasted last night, at least I managed to get to bed unaided and I remember getting there!" he says.

My father, Victor and Denise arrive next and look around the room, they all look like they have been up for hours, and my father tells me they have been out walking and enjoying the bright morning.

The amusement in the room rises when Elliot appears looking dishevelled and pale. He mutters something and crawls to a seat at the table clutching the small bottle of hangover cure which he uncorks and throws back with a grimace, he looks terrible and Kate smirks at him. He looks in a similar state to how he looked the morning after our wedding in the Caribbean when Elliot, Kate, Gideon and Eva were all suffering.

Kate is enjoying this though, as she shouts to Elliot, "What do you want for Breakfast El!"

He grimaces and in a croaky voice asks her not to shout, but after eating some toast and drinking a mug of coffee he does begin to look a little better and he says the hangover cure that Angus left is responsible for this change of fortune.

Everyone is finishing and the clearing away has been done by the time Gideon and Christian both finally appear, they have showered and changed their clothes but they shamble in, unshaven and looking like death. They both sit down in silence at the table and they put the hangover cure bottles in front of them and Christian stares at his suspiciously.

"What is this?" he asks as he holds the bottle peering at it.

"Angus's patent hangover cure, he swears by it" Gideon croaks, "It works, tastes bad but you do feel better after you have taken it" he adds.

He uncorks his and throws it back. Eva smiles at him and asks him what he wants for breakfast, he shakes his head and just asks for black coffee, Grace frowns at him and disappears.

Moments later she is back with some buttered toast and a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice.

"You need something inside you" she states firmly, Gideon looks up at her and a small smile crosses his lips.

"Ok, thanks mom" he says capitulating immediately, he forces the toast down and drinks the juice and coffee and he does start look a little better.

Christian is very quiet as I place some toast and coffee in front of him. He murmurs a word of thanks and then takes the hangover cure.

"Fuck" he curses as he drinks it.

"Christian!" Grace says sharply.

"Mom, volume please" Christian says holding his head.

"Never mind my volume, you mind your potty mouth!" she says to him.

Everyone is stifling giggles and smirks watching Christian get schooled by Grace. Christian eats his toast and drinks his coffee, and he too looks slightly better when he has finished.

Gideon looks at Christian, "I've said this before and I will say it again, you and Elliot are bad influences, whenever I get with you two and drink I always end up feeling like death the next day" he complains.

"It's all about self control bro" Christopher says with a smirk.

Gideon glares at his brother, "you weren't exactly tea total last night" he retorts.

Christopher shakes his head, "No but I remember getting to bed _and_ putting myself to bed, you and Christian needed the help of your wives, your fathers and your security to get you there and my guess is you don't actually remember much of it!" he says smugly.

Christian looks at Gideon and they both shrug, then they turn to Elliot.

"What about you El?" Christian says.

Elliot shrugs "I have no idea" he says.

Kate pipes up at this, "No, you wouldn't Grace and I got you to bed" she says.

Elliot goes red and puts his head down.

Christian turns to me, "Was I really that bad?" he asks.

I nod at him, "Yes Christian, you could hardly stand let alone walk to bed. Carrick and Jason practically dragged you to the bedroom and I just took your shoes off and rolled you on to your side and left you" I say.

Gideon sniggers at this and Eva immediately looks up, "I don't know what you are laughing at you don't have the moral high ground here, I had to enlist Chris and Angus to drag your sorry ass to bed!" she says.

Gideon immediately looks contrite at this.

When Christian and Gideon are feeling better I show them the footage I captured on my phone of them singing 'We are the Champions' with Elliot and Christopher, Christian smirks and Gideon shakes his head.

"Do you remember doing that, I don't have a clue?" Gideon says.

Christian shakes his head, "Nope, no memory of this at all, he looks up to see Elliot and Christopher appear, "Hey do you two remember doing this?" he says.

He restarts the footage and shows it to them, Elliot smiles, "shit we look wasted, I don't remember doing that" he says.

Christopher laughs, "Yes I remember, I couldn't believe how wasted you three were, after that we got the ladies on the stage and sang we are family, you picked that one Gideon and you insisted we all sing it" he says.

"I have no memory of that at all, what the fuck do you put in your alcohol?" Gideon says staring at Christian.

Christian laughs, "I think it was more the amount we drank" he says.

The day progresses and eventually it's time to get ourselves ready, I go to help Eva get ready, she is wearing a beautiful dress, not a wedding dress as such but a beautiful white evening gown.

"Gideon likes me in white" she explains as I zip her up.

Mia, Ireland and I are wearing the same style dress but in red which surprises me and Eva explains this, "Gideon likes me in white but red is our colour" she says with a grin and I notice she blushes slightly.

I raise my eyebrows in question and she pulls me to one side.

"The first time we fucked was in the back of his limo and I was wearing a red dress, it's something which he always remembers" she says quietly.

I smile at her "I see" I say.

Grace comes in and tells Eva that her mother and step father have arrived, and her mother is on her way up. We finish getting ready and there is a knock at the door. I call come in and the door opens and a woman enters who looks like an older version of Eva.

"Eva honey" she says holding out her arms.

"Hi mom" she says.

Monica Stanton looks around at all of us, and Eva quickly introduces us.

"Mom, this is Ana Grey, Christian's wife, Ireland Vidal who is Gideon's little sister, this is Mia Grey who is Christian's sister and this is Kate Kavanagh who is Elliot Grey's fiancée and Ana's friend from way back... oh and for the record Elliot Grey is Christian's older brother" she says.

She turns to us, "Everyone this is my mom, Monica Stanton" she says.

There are polite greetings and Monica looks at Eva closely, "Are you wearing your hair like that Eva?" she asks.

Eva frowns, "I am, Gideon likes my hair down," she says. Monica nods and says no more.

"Where is my grand-daughter?" she asks looking around.

"She is with Gideon, she woke up a while ago and he is watching her while I get ready" she says.

Monica looks at me, "You have a baby too don't you?" she asks.

I nod, "I do a daughter, Phoebe, she is with my husband" I say.

Monica looks at our dresses, "Eva, why on earth did you choose red, it is a little garish don't you think?" she says.

Eva bristles, "Mom, it's my day, if you don't like it just keep your opinions to yourself" she says I watch as Monica's eyes fill with tears.

"I'm just saying Eva, there is no need to be rude, I was left out of your wedding, am I not entitled as your mother to make comment on this... vow renewal" she says.

Eva raises her eyebrows, "No not if all you want to do is pick fault, and you weren't left out. I have explained this to you – repeatedly and it is getting boring. Nobody was there, Gideon and I eloped it was just us that is the whole point of eloping, so it was just us. Which is why we are doing this now, for our family, we were going to do it last Christmas but after Christian's accident we postponed it till after the babies had been born and now we are doing it but I've told you all this before, please don't make me repeat it again," she snaps.

"Why come all the way here to Seattle, and on a beach of all places?!" Monica says.

Eva frowns, and then sighs in exasperation, "I explained this as well, because this is where Gideon proposed to me and beaches have a special significance to him, and Christian and Ana were kind enough to allow us use of their beach for this, now I'm not going to say this again, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," she says.

"Alright Eva, I understand there is no need to be rude," Monica says.

We talk a few more moments and then she leaves and Eva shakes her head.

"She hates it that she has no control over my life anymore. I know it stems from the guilt she feels after Nathan, but she drives me nuts," she says, she pauses and then she looks at me, "But I'd sooner have my mom any day than what you had to deal with, with Carla" she adds.

I remember how Carla was begged to come to my wedding to Christian, but refused to do so, only to complain afterwards and try and cause trouble.

We are all ready to go and we head down to the beach, it's informal relaxed and perfect and best of all the sun is shining brightly. The nip of autumn is in the air but it is still a lovely day, Gideon is standing looking so smart in his tux, he is flanked by Christian, Elliot, Christopher and Angus. I look at Eva who is staring at her husband with love.

I look at the guests, Eva's mother and step father are sitting next to Grace and Carrick there is no official seating plan and everyone is sitting together, Grace is holding Phoebe and I see Chris Vidal holding Denise. Eva's father meets her and walks her towards Gideon and takes his seat beside my father and Christian's Aunt Denise.

The minister welcomes everyone and says that this is the first vow renewal he has done. He also comments on the beautiful setting of the beach. It follows the much the same routine as a wedding ceremony and I hold Christian's hand as Eva and Gideon renew their vows.

I watch them as they look at each other as they repeat their vows, I remember how we witnessed their wedding via Facetime on our phones when Gideon married Eva in Vegas. Gideon's look is scorching and the chemistry between them is palpable, as Eva says her vows she raises her hand and touches Gideon's cheek it's a beautiful moment.

As the ceremony comes to an end and the minister tells Gideon he can kiss Eva he grabs her and devours her, not caring a bit the fact he has an audience. He only pulls away when Denise suddenly shrieks, he turns and smiles as he sees his daughter. He leaves Eva for a moment to lift Denise from Chris's arms and he kisses her. It is a beautiful sight the three of them looking so happy.

We all move into the marquee where there is a beautiful buffet laid out and as I watch everyone enjoying themselves. I feel Christian walking up behind me, I turn and see he is holding Phoebe.

"Hi baby girl" I say as I lift her from his arms.

"Have you eaten?" he asks me, and I nod.

"It has gone really well don't you think?" he asks as he looks around.

"It has, simple and beautiful was what they asked for, and I think we fulfilled the brief!" I say with a grin.

Just as I say this I see Gideon getting everyone's attention.

"If I could say a few words, first of all I'd like to thank my brother Christian and sister in law Ana for allowing us to have this ceremony here at their beautiful home, this was arranged nearly a year ago, we were going to do it back in December, but as you all know my brother ended up in hospital after that awful helicopter crash and so we had to postpone until now, but it was worth the wait. I think we couldn't have picked a nicer setting than here on the beach beside the Sound. I also want to thank all of you for coming, and sharing this day with us, it was originally planned for you guys because we did you out of a wedding the first time round, but the fact you all accepted our decision to elope and came today means more to me than I can possibly say. Finally I want to thank this beautiful woman who not only agreed to renew our wedding vows today, but agreed to marry me in the first place, and then gave me a gorgeous baby daughter; I am without a doubt the luckiest and happiest man in the world".

He holds his hand out to Eva who goes and stands beside him, and Gideon wraps his arm around her. He looks serious for a moment, "I can't express how much this day means to me, having all my family around me, sharing with me the joy of it, thank you".

There is a huge round of applause and then I see the photographer whispering in Christian's ear. Gideon walks towards us and Christian says something to him.

With remarkable speed and organisation we are soon out on the beach having our photographs taken against a stunning sunset over the sound. There are various combinations and Christian tells the photographer to do whatever Gideon asks for.

In the end she takes photographs of Gideon with Eva and Denise, Gideon with Christian, Elliot and Christopher, Gideon with just Christian, just Elliot and just Christopher, Gideon with Mia and Ireland, Gideon with just Ireland and just Mia, Gideon with Chris, Gideon with Chris, Christopher and Ireland, Gideon with Victor and Eva's mom, she takes a lovely one of Gideon and Christian sitting in the sand with Phoebe and Denise and everyone looks emotional when he asks for one with Angus, then he pauses and looks at Grace.

"Mom, I'd like a photograph with you please?" he asks.

Grace nearly dissolves into tears at this and walks over and Gideon wraps his arm around her smiling brightly. Then he asks for one with Grace and Christian. After every possible combination known to man is done, Gideon asks for a huge group photograph of all his family. I notice that Eva's mom and her husband have disappeared and my dad and Denise are standing to the side out of the way, Gideon looks at them and calls them over.

"Why are you standing there? You two are my family too" he says, we have some posed shots and then more relaxed ones before Gideon decides to call it a day.

"I'll get the albums to you as soon as I can" the photographer says with a smile as she bids us a goodnight.

Everyone starts to drift off to bed a short while afterwards.

I catch up with Eva, "What happened to your mom and step-dad, they just seemed to vanish?" I say.

Eva shakes her head, "Stanton wanted to get back to New York, so mom had to go" she says I don't push her but I guess that her abrupt exit has upset her a little.

So I just hug her tightly.

"Thanks Ana" Eva says with a genuine smile.

I walk away and leave Eva to get changed as I am walking down the hallway I walk straight into Gideon, literally.

"Oh sorry Gideon" I say as he reaches to stop me falling. "You'd think with a house this big walking into someone would be impossible" I add.

Gideon laughs at me. "You would think so wouldn't you!" he agrees, "but it kind of reminds me how we first met" he adds and then he pauses and looks at me seriously.

"Ana I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind?" he asks.

"Sure" I say and gesture towards the sitting room.

I sit down and Gideon sits beside me, "I have never properly thanked you Ana," he says quietly.

I stare at him "What for? You have nothing to thank me for, Christian and I were delighted to host your vow renewal" I say.

Gideon shakes his head, "No you misunderstand me Ana, I have never thanked you for your part in giving me all this. A family, a wife who I love with all my heart and a life worth living," he says.

I stare at him and shake my head, "How so?" I ask.

Gideon reaches for me and takes my hand, "Ana, you probably don't realise this, but you were the first woman I ever let in, you did something to me but it was never meant to be because you were meant to be with Christian and I quickly accepted that. But you gave me so much, you introduced me to Christian and we all know how that has turned out, and in the process helped me come to terms with my own past, you were the first person to believe me and make me realise that maybe I was worth loving, which allowed me to open up and let Eva in. She is my soul mate, just as you are Christian's but if it wasn't for meeting you that evening, when I literally walked into you outside the Crossfire, none of what I have now would have happened and so for that I thank you".

I stare at him, "Thank you but I think you are crediting me with too much, you did it yourself Gideon" I say, and I wrap my arms around him and he hugs me tightly.

We pull apart and I touch his cheek, "Your wife is waiting for you" I say and he grins at me.

"Thanks Ana" he says and gets up and leaves me sitting on the sofa alone, when he has gone, I see Christian appear.

"Has he gone?" he asks quietly.

I nod, "Did you hear any of that?" I ask.

Christian nods, "I did, all of it. I was going to come in but I thought better of it, Ana did you... did you ever have feelings for him?"

I look at my husband and shake my head.

"Christian you have nothing to worry about, it's you I love, and it's always been you," I say.

Christian nods at me, "I know that, I just wondered," he says.

I sigh, "Christian, at that point in my life I was angry at you, the way you kept pursuing me and interfering after I left you. I admit I had a moment with Gideon where I kissed him and thought that there could be more. I won't deny that, but there was something which always stopped me taking it further, and that was you. My heart belongs to you Christian and when I accepted that fact I just couldn't see Gideon as anything more than a friend," I say.

"Even though I was a complete asshole to you," he says.

"Yeah, you were and still are at times" I say with a grin. "But despite that I love you!" I add.

Christian folds me into his arms, "and I love you too Mrs Grey, with all my heart!" he says.


	84. Chapter 84

**AUTHORS NOTE: Well this is it, the final chapter, well I say 'chapter' this is actually the epilogue. I have to say I think I am more or less sort of happy with this story now. It has taken a long time and a name change to finally get there. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment. From those of you who remembered it as **_**What If? Fifty Shades of Crossfire**_** and so to you it is essentially a re-read, to those of you who have read it for the first time. **

**The original idea for this crossover and the general premise for it was in my head rolling around since before I wrote my very first fan fiction story back in 2013. When I first read the Crossfire series I was struck with how similar the stories were and how the character's lives could so easily be entwined. These initial musings grew and I started to think what if...? Right back at the start it was my initial plan was have Ana end up with Gideon but as I was writing it, it just didn't feel right, it didn't flow and I just couldn't get it to work. So, back then I looked at what I had and re-wrote a number of chapters to put Ana back with Christian, all the main events of the story such as all the links between the two men and the final acceptance of their pasts and them both finding their inner peace were in place since the very start but just tweaked slightly to incorporate the arrival of Eva, who I had initially planned not to have in the story at all and to accommodate the fact I now had two couples rather than my original plan of one with Christian alone on the sidelines this all finally came together in 2014 when I uploaded it and then in 2015 the story was nominated for the Best Crossover Story in the Fan Fic Fanatics Fan Fiction Awards. **

**I personally could never see the appeal and popularity of this story and despite the massive response it got at the time I was never really totally happy with it and since then have fiddled with it and done a few bodge jobs on it to try and improve it. As far as I am concerned my stories are just there to make up the numbers and are not fit to occupy the same space as the real masterpieces for example Fifty Shades of Post Partum by Helen Mira. **

**It took until now (2019) when I pulled all my stories and gave them all a complete overhaul to try and rectify the hideous amount of typos, errors and plot holes (and I'm still not totally convinced they are all gone now) and re-write the parts which I was never happy with not to mention the parts which really irritated me and got on my nerves. From the original 88 chapters this story had it now has 84, but with the edit and the re-write of parts of the story, the word count actually went up by a few hundred.**

_New Years Eve…_

We are sitting in the huge sitting room at our home in Aspen. I am curled up in a large comfortable chair by a roaring fire, it has been snowing heavily all day outside and I am feeling drowsy. I take a moment to look around me. My husband catches my gaze, our eyes meet and I feel his love. He eventually looks away again, his attention taken by something Elliot has said. He is standing a few feet away talking with Gideon, Christopher and Elliot; they are laughing about something and are all clutching bottles of beer.

I watch as Kate walks over with some food and offers it to Elliot, I giggle as she protests when Christian and Gideon also dive in uninvited, like gannets and take some. Christopher just watches and Kate offers him some and he politely accepts.

Kate and Elliot have finally decided where they are going to get married, they had the choice of all Gideon's hotels and the list was extensive they eventually decided that they are going to Hawaii to Gideon's Crosswinds Hawaii resort, marrying there and then staying on for a honeymoon. We will all fly in for the ceremony which has been set for May and then leave them to enjoy their honeymoon in peace.

I continue to look around the room all the Grey, Cross and Vidal family are here, all as far as Gideon and Christian are concerned one big family.

Ireland and Mia are sitting in deep discussion about something, I hear the words Neimans and Gucci mentioned and realise it must be shopping related as it generally always is when it comes to those two. I see Eva's father - Victor, my father, Chris Vidal, Carrick and Grace they are all happily chatting together, sipping their drinks and relaxed in each other's company and then I notice Christian's Aunt Denise appear and join them, she sits down beside my father and he hands her a drink.

Eva walks in carrying Denise who immediately gets everyone's attention when she shrieks loudly and holds out her arms to Gideon as soon as she lays eyes on him. He immediately steps away from his little gathering and takes his daughter from Eva.

"Hey pumpkin you want to see in the New Year with your daddy" he says and he presses a kiss to her cheek.

I smile as she flings her arms around his neck and deposits a wet slobbery kiss on his nose. Eva turns to me and speaks.

"Ana, Phoebe was awake when I fetched Denise so I'm guessing she will be squealing shortly!" Eva hardly gets the words out of her mouth as Phoebe makes her presence felt through the baby monitor.

I go to stand up but Christian shakes his head.

"You stay there baby, I'll go" he says.

A few moments later the door opens and he returns holding a smiling Phoebe who is holding on to him firmly. As he stands with her in his arms I can't take my eyes from either of them. Phoebe actually has my features, but her startlingly sharp grey eyes and copper hair are all Christian. I look at Gideon with Denise, now that little girl is all Gideon, there doesn't appear to be anything of Eva visible.

"Hey everyone look at the time!" Denise points to the large clock it is nearly midnight, I get out of my chair and walk over to Christian and he wraps his free arm around me, we all gather in a huge group, we all have our drinks and we wait for the New Year to start.

It is going to be a busy one for us, there is of course Elliot and Kate's wedding, Ella's Lodge's have exceeded all expectations and Gideon and Christian are getting enquires from practically every state to fund the opening of similar safe houses throughout the US. Detroit is leading the way, it was the first and has helped over 200 children and young people in the short time since it opened. New York is hot on its heels and there was a waiting list for the Seattle safe house of people waiting for shelter and help as soon as it opened.

At the beginning of December Denise told us that her father had died. Harold McIntyre had died suddenly of a heart attack, he died alone in his huge house with no family around him, and Denise was informed as his next of kin and out of respect for her alone Christian attended the funeral. In the end Harold McIntyre had genuinely tried to make amends for his past actions, he left Denise some money and personal effects in his will and he requested that his house and the rest of his extensive estate be sold and the proceeds go to Ella's Lodge (Detroit) a gesture which shocked us all. He left Christian some personal effects along with a hand written letter sincerely apologising for his past sins and Christian was moved to tears when he read it and it had said that Ella would be proud of the man he had become.

Gideon and Eva are totally solid now and from what they have told us, Corrine, although still lurking in the background will not ever come between them. They gave us the best news ever at Christmas. Eva told me, and Gideon told Christian that they were now sleeping the entire night together. Gideon finally coming to terms with his past, has been totally nightmare free for nearly six months. He will obviously never forget what happened to him, but he is coping with it now and appears to have got closure on certain aspects of it, he still takes the medication which Dr Flynn prescribed as insurance for his night terrors and he is still in therapy with John Flynn but you can tell by just looking at him that he is a much happier contented man now. Gideon has also totally embraced Grace as a surrogate mother, and he calls her mom much to her delight.

His relationship with his step father Chris has flourished and gone from strength to strength and Gideon now calls him dad which I know means a lot to Chris. It's a shame but it appears he will never build a relationship with Elizabeth but there was just too much water under the bridge, she has moved on and after the divorce from Chris was finalised and she left New York and has started a new life in California.

None of her children hear from her or see her now, and I know that really hurt Christopher and Ireland in the beginning, as they had a good relationship with her growing up and they had felt abandoned by her but they both have Chris who is of course their biological father and a good man and he has taken on the role of both mother and father to his children and Grace in her usual motherly way has supported Chris in this role and embraced Gideon's siblings as her own and she has become a trusted confidant to them both.

Christopher and Gideon are now closer than they have ever been and it's a joy to see these once enemies now building a future together as loving brothers. Christopher has also become astonishingly close to Christian and Elliot and as far as they are all concerned they are all brothers and as such they have each others backs.

Mia and Ireland are inseparable, they have a mutual love of everything materialistic and they both take full advantage of the fact they have two older over indulgent and protective billionaire brothers. The biggest surprise was my dad and Christian's Aunt Denise getting together recently, that one surprised us all, as they are two supremely independent people. Christian asked Ray to do some work for the Detroit Safe House as Elliot was busy working on the Seattle one and didn't have the time to do it or have anyone spare from his team to send, and Denise had requested some wooden furniture, so my dad had flown out to the Safe House and well... I was so pleased for them both.

My dad has taken a monumentally huge leap, he has sold his house in Montesano and now lives in Detroit with Denise, he has a new lease of life and he has taken the role of handy man at the safe house turning his hand to all the jobs which need to be done to keep the place maintained. Victor is still single and a SoCal cop, but he is happy and makes a point of joining all the family get-together's which happen. He is firm friends with my dad and they spend weekends away fishing and hunting when they can.

I look at the huge family portrait hanging on the wall taken at Gideon and Eva's Wedding Vow renewal on the beach. Everyone who is in this room is in that photograph, it's a lovely picture I stare at it, as it captured a moment in time which although now gone for ever will always remain on view in all our homes, and copies of this picture also hangs in all Gideon's homes. Gideon was overjoyed with the photo albums he received from the photographer. The candid shot album gets pulled out at every possible opportunity and we all frequently relive that weekend. Gideon has also had copies done of his favourite shots and had them framed and all his homes now are full of photographs of his family, proudly displayed everywhere. The one which created the most reaction and comment was a candid shot of Gideon with Christian, Elliot and Christopher, which Gideon had blown up and framed, they are all very drunk and singing karaoke at our joint birthday party. I still have the footage of that night on my phone and Gideon also has a copy of it.

Family is incredibly important to all of us, but none more than Gideon who lived for years feeling unloved and alone, alienated from his own family. Since finding out about Christian being his brother and getting closer with Chris, he insists on these huge get togethers where the whole family come together at every possible opportunity. He is incredibly close to Christian now and they talk daily on the phone and we visit each other regularly. His mantras are 'family first' and 'there is nothing more important than family'.

It is no surprise that Angus is here with us celebrating as Gideon looks upon Angus as family. Jason and Gail are not here they are on vacation, they are spending New Year in New York with Sophie, Christian giving them the use of our New York apartment. Luke is here deputising for Jason and overseeing security but tonight he too is enjoying the celebrations at Christian's insistence.

"This is it guys" Christian calls out and I glance at the clock which starts to chime the hour. Christian pulls me close and kisses me soundly.

"Happy New Year baby" he whispers in my ear.

"Happy New Year Christian" I reply.

I watch everyone hugging, kissing and wishing each other a very happy New Year and we all raise our glasses and Christian speaks.

"Here it is, Happy New Year everyone and I hope it's a good one for every single person in this room – my family, happy New Year!" he says.

"Happy New Year!" is the resounding response.

**THE END**


End file.
